Anything Better? - We're Not Supposed To Ride Off Into the Sunset

Episode Date: May 6, 2023

Is there Anything Better than Bill & Paul talking about nuclear weapons?

What's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast with your host me Paul Berzy, Bill Burr, and of course, our producer extraordinaire, the Greek freak, the Beverly Hills kid. He's got so many nicknames, we don't even know what to do with them. Andrew Themlis is over there behind the glass. You guys listening to episode 78, the year I was born, the year of, I don't know, what else? All right, the best, the best, the top three number 78s of all time. The great Bruce Smith.

Remember that guy's guns coming around, clubbing people. Curly Culp from the Houston Oilers. And one of the greatest offensive linemen of all time, Anthony Munoz from the Cincinnati Bengals. Those are three. Is Curly Culp in the Hall of Fame? I'm not sure. But the other two definitely are. Curly Culp was right when I started watching football.

He played for Paul. He played for the Houston Oilers. Houston Oilers. Houston Oilers, number one. Houston Oilers, to this day, still have one of the dopest uniforms that the blue and the red was incredible. The white and the it's so it was so great. I had the Warren Moon football card. It was great. And by the way, guys, I know you write into the show and you tell us at the show, you know, you guys forgot the great 70. We know there's other 78. It's just we can't be here all day. You know what I mean?

Someone's like, how dare you? He was like, I get that. No, but you got to love a sports fan like that. I do. How dare you forget in 1932? He signed my son's card. Yeah, he signed my son's card. He was they he signed my son's card he was a good man you don't forget him um dude coming up paul we're coming up on wide receivers and then it's going to be

some defensive linemen and wayne gretzky and then i don't know who's who wears number 100 no i think when we get to 100 we got to do like the significance of that number. So we'll find the history of the number. How about that? The history of 100 is probably one of the most, you know, what's the most famous number of all time? Paul, with little hidden intellect here. I've never seen this part of your brain. You actually care about the significance of the number 100? Yeah, don't let the hat and the chain fool you.

I got something under the hood. Hey, don't let the fact that I always sit in the back of the class make you feel like I don't know nothing. Hey, I read Snapple facts. Hey, I can read something and then puke it out to somebody 15 minutes later before it leaves my brain. I can do that. You puke it out to somebody 15 minutes later before it leaves my brain. I can do that. You remember when you tried to be smart, you would remember the one thing and then those kids that would tell the same story.

You know, Hitler. No, no, no. I'm telling you. They would just keep telling that. Yeah, we know. I've been trying to be smart my whole fucking life. It's not working out. I'm finally giving into it.

Just giving into it. You know, my favorite thing to say is now hey you know these these problems are a lot bigger than you and i you know you know that's my i i we're not going to come up with a solution i got to get out of this conversation you know what's bad when you go like this to people when like or when you were you're like am i smart i just, or when you were, you're like, am I smart? I just don't feel. And they go, you're smart in different ways. You're like, all right. The answer is no. I like all these people too, talking about how awful this country is right now and how fucked up it is and all that type of shit. It's just like, I mean, I, okay. All right.

I mean, well, what, but what are they talking about? They're talking about like, you know, transgendered people. Like I love like that's what makes people feel like this country's fucked up rather than we have a Ponzi scheme. And once again, this fucking August, if we don't print out another trillion dollars with nothing behind it, we all go under. That's that's nothing to worry about, Paul. Right. Yeah. I got to be upset about what Bud Light puts on the side of a fucking beer can. Which, by the way, was that one of the dumbest fucking moves? It's just as far as like they're a corporation.

They want to make money. Yeah. Yeah, you got to go Switzerland. You just stay neutral. did you see what they did when he wrote the apology the head of van heiser bush and then the next commercial the next commercial he wrote like a half-ass like hey we didn't you know we didn't want to do we don't want anybody to feel like he had to just write something because they lost five billion dollars and everybody started getting upset and then their their next commercial, they brought the Clydesdale back.

There's a fucking horse in Montana. It was like the next thing after that. No, they didn't. Oh, dude, they went old school, dude. Fucking breath coming out of the horse's thing. The fucking Clydesdale looked like he had the pom-poms. That was the worst move. That was the only worst move than doing what they did.

Then you come back and apologize. You try to overcorrect with that. Yeah. It's a guy shooting guns. They had some cowboy gay bashing somebody in the background, drinking a fucking Bud Light. There's a guy with a lasso. He fucking hooks a gay kid, justs him from the back of a horse.

The Clydesdale team plows through a gay bar. And we're back! Only straight guys that like pussy drink our beer. That's one of those things where you just fucking it's like all right i thought the

world was ready for it i mean how how much do they not know their own audience i don't i've never seen anybody with even remote intellect or empathy standing there with a bud light they're drinking all those douchey IPAs. Like, what the fuck were you doing? I was just picturing cowboys on horseback just going through the gay parade shooting people. Bud Light, we're straight again. Oh, no, but I'll tell you what. You gotta go the other way to apologize for all the gay people he just killed that was like um that whole thing is bizarre to me because at the end of the day you know

bud light doesn't give up what did they put i don't even know what they put i don't even see it the trans person yeah but like they put this this trans person but they became trans like 30 days before and then they just like the woman gave an explanation she was the head of marketing and she goes here's why i did it she goes and she did a whole video she because the backlash and she goes we were struggling that's what she said she goes the company was struggling and we needed an idea so i figured you know and it's just as well i figured if we and then that's what happened there you go there you go so once again that's what i was saying because they don't even give a fuck about trans people so what i figured

i could do right i could use the pain of somebody born into the wrong gendered body as a way to help us earn more money selling beer well little did i know i think what happened was they brought it up and most people in the meeting were going like are you out of your fucking mind this is bud light we have mouth breathing morons at tailgates drinking this shit why would you this is like this is some progressive shit we're gonna lose a ton of fucking money but you can't say that in that corporate environment because then you'd seem transphobic so they all had to sit there and be like yeah that sounds like dude i put my name on that that was one of the uh that's that's right that was right up there with watching coca-cola

changed their formula in the 80s oh Oh, I don't remember that. Dude, they changed the formula because they got all freaked out by Pepsi. What do you mean? They made the taste different? Yes. It was called New Coke. Oh.

New Coke. Dude, that was a bigger scandal than Iran-Contra. They were letting Ali North. There was more attention on that. Oh, so Pepsi scared Coke then. Pepsi scared Coke. And then what they had to do was scamper. That's why they have Coca-Cola Classic.

So then they couldn't admit that New Coke was a bomb. So they kept New Coke out there. And, dude, they were doing shows like news reports and they were showing like in the grocery stores like fully stocked shelves of new coke and nobody had them and then like the pepsi was being bought because at that point it's like well if you're just going to be a poor excuse for pepsi'm going to drink Pepsi. Even then, I can never drink Pepsi. The number one fucking thing that can just for half a second ruin my concert or fucking

sports experience is when I go into an arena and I find that Pepsi has the contract. What is that? Why are you guys like that? Pepsi's fine. I like Coke better, but Pepsi, but Bartnick is like, you fucking piece of the shit with Pepsi. Why?

I never understood the hate for Pepsi like that. It's not the hate, Paul. That's like, Paul, why not the hate? You know, they're both basketball teams. They're both colas, Paul. You know what it paul it's it's like you know it's like watching somebody fucking fuck up a steak i it's still it's still gonna it's still a steak so it can only taste so bad but it could have been unbelievable it could have been paul it could

have been unbelievable but instead instead, we got Pepsi. I used to, growing up, I like Pepsi, so it doesn't, when the waiter goes, is Pepsi okay? I'm like, yeah. You got these people going. Paul, there's a reason why they say that. Is Pepsi okay? They're the Brooklyn Nets, Paul.

Coke is the Knicks. Okay. All right. I got you on that one. Listen, if any analogy is going to get me, it's that one. We've got to be careful here. We're kind of doing taste buds right now.

No, but, dude, did you see what China – I was on Christina P. By the way, dude, shout out to Christina P. She's so funny. She's so funny. She's so great. But we were on her podcast and we're talking about, dude, there was that, what China is doing with those kids, those 10 year old kids, they're all in the classroom. And we showed the video, dude, Andrew, pull this up. There's a, I don't want to, I don't want to watch somebody hurting kids.

No, no, no, no. Nobody's hurting kids. It's what the kids are doing in the classroom. The whole classroom is 10 year old, 10, 11 year olds. And they're all just sitting there and they all have a handgun. And they're just going, taking it apart, taking the spring out, cleaning it, doing it, put it there. And then they showed American kids just like looking at their phones. Like, look at their phones.

I know. You know what that is, Paul? You've watched a piece of propaganda. Yeah, I know. I know. But it, Paul? You've watched a piece of propaganda. Yeah, I know. I know. But it's weird that they would do the guns. What are they going to do to us? We have nuclear weapons. We can literally have a nerd push a button and obliterate all of those kids doing... They got a fucking handgun? What are they going to do next, Paul? Take out a bow

and arrow? A slingshot. Yeah. That's like all of these fucking idiots out here that have gun collections, which I don't have a problem with. But if you have a gun collection because you're going to protect yourself against a tyrannical government, you ain't happen to do it. That ship sailed in the 1940s. Am I still there? Yeah.

Somebody was trying to call. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, that ships your ability to fight back against the government as a citizen with weaponry. That probably ended in the 1800s. Yeah. The level of weaponry that the government has and how organized in the training. I mean, the best you can be now is a pain in the ass it does start with p like patriot but that's the best you're gonna do unless you're those

blackwater guys i got a question for you those guys got those guys got fucking tanks yeah i got a question for you though and this may be this may sound stupid so i don't know the answer to this but if a country was sending a nuclear missile over. Can are there defenses that can just intercept it and knock it out of the sky? Like when people go, oh, they're going to hit the red button and everybody's dead. Isn't there something to like do to like kind of disrupt that? Or is it like if it's on? You know what you do, Paul?

You lay down on your fucking l-shaped couch you go i had a good one and then you just hope that thing lands right on your fucking house because you don't want to survive that shit and be part of the rebuild you think people are animals now paul oh you take away their flat screen tvs i mean, that's I never I never like that whole fucking nuclear Holocaust shit. Nuclear, however the fuck you say it, I never sweat that shit. I just think it's like, yeah, I'm not going to survive that. I saw how ugly people could be during that time in New York where there was no gas and the lines for gasoline. It's when like Lucas was a baby and nobody had.

So everybody was like filling up gas. People like it started to become, people started shooting each other and fighting the lines of gasoline were done. Then when they ran out, people were robbing people. Dude, it was fucked up, man. Fucked up. Or you could just get on a bicycle. You could just go on a bike.

You could take public transportation. Everyone could stay calm and work together. That's the worst thing about being in the herd, Paul, is the herd mentality. And it's just like panic, fear, and ignorance just bubble up to the top. You know, and it just, if everyone could just be like it's fear is the big one of those three yeah in those times if we could all just fucking help each other like look at that whole pandemic we just went through like how did we do paul we're all yelling at each other i was yelling at people fucking ignoring doctors and shit it just

it was the whole thing was funny i think is the whole things of failure and you have people actually claiming victory like people like wanted to be right yeah rather than just listen or or work together or whatever there was like fucking uh everybody i'll tell you i gotta tell you something about the left dude the left with their fucking they they got a name for everything. For as much as they don't like naming shit, you know, as far as, what do you call it? The fucking, you know, racial slurs and don't say this word, don't say that word. They were a fucking second.

You fucking, like my big thing now is, Paul, I've gone from being, I'm now called a centrist. Because I was talking I, Paul, I, I, I've gone from being, uh, uh, I'm now called a centrist. Cause I was talking about guns and I said, all right, so all you guys out there, you get your semi-automatic weapons and shit like that. What is your solution? Like, how do you think? I want to hear from someone who owns a gun. I don't own a gun. So I, I'm not going to fucking weigh in on this.

I want to hear what your solution is. And then all these people who just hate guns and have that dumb mindset of like, they should just get rid of all the guns. Like, oh. Like, how do you do that? Yeah, it's the same mindset of no police. No police. Just to anyone like, but all right.

No one's ever said no police. Well, defund the police. That shit. That's not what it meant, though. That was the worst name thing. Defund the police meant they shouldn't have to take on the ills of all society. Right. There's too much pressure on them. And then they deliberately named it that name

to get attention. It's stupid. It was fucking stupid. Terrible name. First time I heard it, I'm like, so you want cops to work for free? That's what I said. I was like, that's the dumbest shit ever. Yeah, people had different

meanings. They were like, no, don't give them the resources. Don't do that. And I'm going like, I don't know what it means. I want to know who came up with no bail. Oh, no. The fucking, yeah. Dude. no bail oh no the fucking yeah dude dude that's a truly dangerous suspect a cop is risking his life to apprehend him he brings him in and then you immediately let go and then you go go get him

again at what point does he just say fuck you i'm gonna go to a coffee shop yeah one one third of everybody that was arrested in New York City for robbery theft whatever that type of crime one third was a repeat offender yeah and also

there's bail reform for if you see a guy's laptop with like child pornography they can get out if you assault somebody kidnapping you could get out that day it's fucking wild curiosity who created that legislation uh hey guys you know what i want to work on i think we're going too hard on pedophiles i have a friend who's a cop in new york city and he's like dude guys are just retiring he's like guys are just throwing their hands up going i just want to make a living for my family.

He's like, I got to if like you can get they can get like what's it called? They can get complaints written about them if they if they arrest wrong or too harsh. They got to worry about like putting the guy's cuffs on because then people will take a picture going. Why are you doing it so hard? And it's like, I don't know. It's also let's not act like this is where this all started. You know what I mean? Because people like to act like when something new happens like this,

and history begins right now. There's a whole bunch of shit, Paul. There's a whole bunch of shit. And all of that stuff and all that brutality and all of that goes all the way back to the beginning of this country and how this country was taken. And people don't want to fucking hear that a long fucking time ago. It's like, I'm telling you, dude.

Like, all of this shit, it's not, this shit isn't random. It's a thing, but this is what, the thing that keeps me sane in all of this is I blame God

for all of this is I blame God for all of this. Because he creates human beings and he makes them flawed. And he gives us all of this jealousy, envy, lust, all of this fucking horrible shit. He makes morons, Paul.

More times than not. more times than not more times than not he makes fucking morons that can be led can be can be filled with moron ideology he makes sociopaths makes all those fucking people makes all of those fucking people so i just go i just look at it like this is supposed to happen like we're not supposed to ride off into the sunset and and have a utopia like uh you know she's even watching that sports shit where you have a guy that didn't play fucking professional sports listening to a guy that played professional sports saying you got this wrong and he's just sitting there still arguing his point yeah because it's more important to win than to than to actually be right and find out the proper information and that is how we are wired And if you believe in a higher power, he's fucking cranking them out, Paul. Cranking them out every second.

Yeah. And the amount of time I just said that, how many more mouth-breathing morons? Yeah, I mean, you know me. You know I believe in a higher power. Did I just say I didn't? I was just criticizing him no you're saying that that helps you get through knowing that that's what it is i get that i get that but um yeah it's it's i don't know man i feel like i'm becoming my my parents when

i would play nintendo and be little and i would hear my parents go or you would hear a relative go things are crazy the country's crazy we're losing this and you'd be like that's some old people shit you're just playing mario brothers and now like i find myself seeing things and i'm going like things are crazy we're losing the country you know not losing i think that happens when when you have when you have kids because i think, like, it's really hard as an individual to process something bad happening to you. You know, even, like, in your dreams, you don't die in shit. You know what I mean? It's part of, like, your own survival.

As much as shit's fucked up, you know, you're in this denial of, like, bad shit can't happen to me. But when you have kids, you know that something, it's different. So then I think you start, you know, like watching the news and you start connecting dots and stuff like this. Definitely a lot of fucked up shit up, but there's a lot of great stuff. You texted me the other day when you were like freaking out about something that you saw on the news. And I was like, Paul, a whole bunch of great shit happened today and they're never going to tell you about it. Yeah, yeah. And that's what keeps you sane. You're right. That's what I think you, Paul, a whole bunch of great shit happened today. And they're never going to tell you about it. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's what keeps you sane. You're right. That's what I think you're right, though. I think you hit the nail on the head. Like when you have children and you find out what they can be exposed to and you see the horrible shit going on automatically, your brain. I never forget one time Chris Rock did a thing where he went to the superdome where the saints played after katrina and he was helping handing out food i did it was like one of the most vulnerable

moments and that's what made me realize kind of what that dude really is inside like he was handing out packets of food to all these people and these little girls came up to him and he was like giving the packets out he's helping people find places to sleep and all that and then he was interviewed and he just goes it made me think of my daughter. And he just started fucking crying. And he was and when he was crying, he was wiping it. And I was just like, fuck, man, because all your mind goes to is when you see that horrible shit, the love in your heart for your your your little boy or your little girl, whatever, is like that can't happen to them. And I need to do everything I can as a parent

to make sure that shit doesn't happen. And then you get mad. Then anger goes in. Fuck this city. Fuck New York. I'm staying. It's all fear because you don't want anything to happen to your loved ones.

That's what I think. Yeah, that's why I don't understand these guys that can just fucking go to war, like declare war. And then you're not going to go fight. You know what the fuck's going to happen. Not everything is going to go fight you know what the fuck's going to happen not everything not everything is gonna gonna you know hit the guy you're trying to get it's fucking it's it's uh whatever it wasn't getting too deep paul well this is this is way too deep for us what are we doing here oh you know what it is too i think like life i'll tell you what it is paul the red socks have the redx are number three in the league.

No, I think that a lifelong politician, if you're choosing to do that for life, a lifelong politician is the same thing as a comedian that will steal and cut corners and do whatever to get to the top. There's a narcissism there where they're not even thinking of the, they're thinking of their shit. That's what I think. would i would argue this paul i would say like comedians politicians you have the david tells the comedians and then you have joke thieves and you have hacks you know and you have people that are just doing getting into politics so they can become a fucking multi-millionaire which dude the level the level that they don't investigate that oh i saw some crazy stat on the amount of money that joe biden's made but like i'm also it's just something i saw

on the internet so i don't know if that's some you know let's go brandon guy or if it's like real but i i guarantee you i guarantee you paul that guy's going to be a multi, multi, multi, multi, multi-millionaire. He'll buy a fucking big house right next to Obama's. Oh, yeah. Right next to George W.'s. Right next to Bill Clinton's. But let's be honest. He may be a millionaire, but he's not going to know what he's got in the bank.

I mean, it's unbelievable. Dude, listen, not getting political. At what point are they going to have to, like, remove that guy? Dude, when he was sitting down with that leader and the leader was talking and he just closed his eyes and didn't open them and the leader was kind of like, they were like, they tried to make it like he was resting his eyes, dude. It was like, dude, it's so fucking rad. I don't give a fuck if he was.

You don't do that then if he was you don't do that then i wouldn't do that on this podcast oh what are you gonna do what are you gonna do but about him around like if the you know people talk about how he's being slow and the press secretary she's like listen she goes he is so quick i have trouble keeping up with him and everyone's like oh come on we know you're doing your job let's take it easy here you're doing a job well i like this and the truth is my favorite one he goes and the true thing is everybody he just and then they had the words. It was just letters.

He goes like the term of the deficit. Oh, God, dude. But anyway, God help us, Paul. Next election. I don't I just want sanity. I want somebody sane. I don't want somebody. Paul, did you ever look at those people on January 6th? I mean, that was one of the saddest collections of human beings I've ever seen in my fucking life. We had a reality show TV star send some of the dumbest people in our country to the wrong building. At least he could have sent them to the Federal Reserve.

Dude, all I know is that... At least he could have sent him to the Federal Reserve. Dude. All I know is this. Oh, and that guy choosing to climb up the wall when there was clearly stairs right there. Like, what in the fuck? And he had on that army helmet that he got from, like, the fucking surplus store. I said on stage the other night, I go, can we just get like a 35, 36 year old dude who just fucking looks like fucking James Bond? Just for one time, dude, one time, the motherfucker, like like the motherfucker, one time, like 36. Just like everybody agrees with. Oh, it'd be amazing, man. Just once in my lifetime. I want to see that.

No, no, everyone. No one's going to ever agree. The second they put that fucking tie on. No, I mean like red or blue. No, I mean like if we could get like a 60, 40, even like a 60, 40 young guy, you know, the youngest in my lifetime was probably Obama, and he looked like shit when he got out of there. They all do.

Clinton? Maybe Clinton? Kennedy looked – when Kennedy and his brother – He got whacked fucking three years in, dude. But I know, but he looked good. Well, you know, he looked good. Yeah, well, if he did a full eight years, he wouldn't have. None of them would have. How old kennedy when he got elected 42 when he got shot uh he was born in either 1916 or 1918 so he was either 40 yeah he was like i think he was 42 or

something like that 43 and he was like 46 when he got killed dude there was a picture of him and his brother at the white house hanging out walking outside dude and it looked like fucking dude it looked like the rat pack it was the shit they just looked young and ready and they looked fucking it looked great man it was it's it's you know i don't know they need to cut i didn't get those vibes when it was Bill Clinton and Al Gore because they were both young too, but they just looked like doughboys. They didn't look cool.

A couple of fatties. Big blue suits. Yeah, Clinton looked puffy always. Clinton looked puffy and their voices fucked it up. Clinton looked like that guy that's, you know, playing pick-up hockey. hockey Alright he's a net I gotta give Bill Clinton Credit for one thing

He always looked He got a ton of pussy He always looked fun He always was smiling He was always shaking hands He always The thing about Clinton It never was a problem

Even now When he comes out and talks And he smiles You're like like, yeah, man, it's just never a problem. It's just always. Well, when you don't give a fuck about anybody but yourself, I think you can do that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not a fan of that guy. He's easy. He's easy.

No, I know what you mean, though. Dude, how about that video I sent you? How about that video i sent you how about that video i sent you dude meanwhile his wife was is aging like a fucking witch oh my god well i don't know i don't want to fuck i'm not getting involved in any of that shit i don't i don't give a shit about it whatever yeah that's why you know why she aged like that because you can't hide evil i'm kidding um no uh dude how about that video of lucas i sent bill i'll let the listeners know i sent bill because my son plays travel basketball aau when he's not playing for school and i sent bill a video of lucas i'm watching

lucas's travel game less He's actually playing tomorrow. Oh, no, today in Jersey. Right now, I think. He's in the corner. You hear me in the video go, I called it. I go, dude, that's his shot. He's opening the corner. That's his shot.

Then simultaneously, I sent it to you. He gets the ball and he pops it. It went in. I was like, I know that that's his shot, dude. It was so fucking cool, man. That's awesome. Yeah, to watch it. Yeah, a buddy of mine just sent me a video of his daughter hitting a home run.

Oh. She, she, over the field? No, it was softball, but she crushed it. So this woman's playing, like, you know, about midfield, left field. And this thing was like 30 feet over. And the whole audio is him. He goes, oh, that's a shot. That is a shot.

Go, go for three, go for three. And then she's going home. She's going home, staring it up. Oh, that's great. Then you just see him. He just goes, he just goes. Like that dad, that proud dad, you know, was fucking awesome. Hey, by the way, why do you Knicks fans hate Trey Young?

I fucking love that guy, man. That guy's a beast. No, I don't. I don't hate him like that, dude. But there is a visceral. I think he said something. I don't know. But, dude, one of there is a visceral – I think he said something. I don't know. But, dude, one of the funniest things ever.

Lucas lost it. We're at the playoff game two years ago. This is the last time they're in the playoffs. It was two years ago. We were at game two, the only one we beat Atlanta because they beat us in five. And they're going – and they're in the national anthem. And Madison Square Garden is dead quiet, you know. And there's always those loud assholes during the national anthem. And he goes, oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave?

And then he just hit one guy and go, Greg Young's a bitch. And, dude, it echoed through the garden. And I'd never heard of it left. Dude, 18,000 people kind of just started laughing. And Lucas was blushing and laughing. And they went right back to the song. Oh, the laugh. Dude, it was fucking great.

I think he's, I don't know. I think he said something about New York. And then one, you know, it's one of those things that just goes. Oh, I love him even more. I love anybody pissing off New York and then one, you know, it's one of those things that just goes. Oh, I love him even more. I love anybody pissing off New Yorkers is a friend of mine. And then some fucking asshole spit on him or some fucking drunk asshole like was, and like spit got on him. And then it looked like, and then that's when New Yorkers turned on them.

That's when New Yorkers are like, what do you, you don't spit on a fucking player. It's always that fuck. You don't spit on anybody. No do you don't spit on a fucking player it's always that fuck you don't spit on anybody no you don't spit on anybody you don't do that it's like it took it to a level of like you know just that dumb mob shit so yeah but it was funny when he screamed it during the national anthem um but dude n you know, people say things like, you know, one guy was on the radio going, New York is a baseball town. It's not. It's not.

New York is a basketball town, but we've been deprived of having a winner since the season. Yeah, but you had the three fucking teams back in the day, Willie, Mickey, and the Duke. You guys were baseball. The Yankees? No, I'm telling you, though, when the when the knicks are good when the knicks are good dude i remember in 99 when we went to the finals as the eighth seed against the fucking spurs dude the streets are like it's not like that when the yankees

i i think it's because we're so want it so bad but new york is basketball that's what i would argue i mean i think of the yankees you're you're suspected um and i think when like the jets and mets do well that's like queens in new jersey so you don't see it in manhattan but like uh but i also feel i feel like giants and yankee, there's a certain level of, like, money. It's like, what's his face? Mike and the Mad Dog Show. You could see Mike was a fucking Giants, Jets, you know, he's that fucking sweater vest guy. Like, that's, like, those are the guys that stake in Chop House, Wall Street.

Like, to me, that's a Giants and fucking Yankees. They got money. They know what it feels like to win. Yes, it's history. It's the same thing with you guys with the Patriots. A Patriot fan now has a certain thing. You just do. We're still animals, Paul.

We're still animals. Yeah, but you're the Patriots. Don't get it twisted. What you guys have done on record, you guys go into a building, you're the Patriots, dude. All right, well, don't let the lighthouse fool you. We're still animals. We're animals.

Anytime, and I say that in an endearing way, anytime they cut to the crowd, when I'm out here, you know, living out here, I got all four sports packages. When I got time with the kids watching Gecko's Garage all the goddamn time, when I can actually watch

a period or two of a Bruins game, whenever they cut to the crowd at a home game, I just laugh. I'll go, Nia, look at animals. We're animals. They cut to the crowd during Celtics games.

Animals. Now, are you getting your kids, are both of your, are your children going to be your fans of you? Because, you know, that's the big joke I got now, where if your kids don't love the same sports teams, you're fucking up, dude. I believe that if you live in the state. It's, it's, um, no, I'm doing a very, very, like, live in the state.

I'm doing a very, very, like, I just watch the teams that I like and then I just say who I'm rooting for. I don't say you have to root for these teams, and I just never watch the

LA teams or anything else. But everybody I know out here, like, dude, I got a buddy of mine. He took his kid to a Giants game. They live in L.A. He's a Giants fan. Took him to a Giants game, San Francisco Giants game up in San Francisco. They went there, and they were playing the Pirates. And the Pirates' best player came over and was

signing stuff for kids and signed something for his kid then he became like the biggest pirates fan ever he said it faded away and then he became a giants fan but it's uh it's it's difficult to do on the road i would think like i would would think eventually the kids she goes to school with are going to be Laker fans, and so I might have a little problem there. Well, you know what, though? Living in an area is hard to tell a kid when all of a sudden they go to a birthday party

and they're like, oh, we're going to a Skybox at the game, Lakers, and all of a sudden they hand your daughter or son right now she's not going she is not going she oh dude what would you do if your kids just came home decked head to toe kobe shack jerseys purple and gold dude you'd be um um you'd go for a walk and I would have to think how I was gonna undo

that or if in undoing it would I drive them further into it I would just I would say you know what I'm glad you guys had a good time but those jerseys make daddy really sad I would say, you know what? I'm glad you guys had a good time, but those jerseys make Daddy really sad.

I would just guilt him. But, no, those are Daddy's rival. You don't want to hurt Daddy. You know what the thing is, Paul? Out of all the fucking teams they could like, because I just feel like, you know, I just have no respect for those championships. Like their last six or seven, it's just a collection of everybody else's good players. So you would rather your kids be a Yankee fan than a Lakers fan? Oh, yes.

Yeah. 100%. I think mine would. I mean, that would suck too. But, like, I just don't – like, look, I'm not saying that – I mean, look, the Yankees have had a pile on teams. Celtics have had a pile on teams. Yankees have had pile-on teams. Celtics have had pile-on teams. Red Sox have had pile-on teams. But, like, I feel like the Lakers, that's literally their business model.

Like, every year, like, a truck backs up and five new high-profile free agents. You know, like, they're two top guys. It's just always not their guys. Kobe Shaq, and now they got LeBron and that other fucking guy from New Orleans or whatever the fuck he came from. It's just always, it's like, they got the money and they got the location

and they have the pussy to just attract all of these guys out here. And it's like, you don't even have to be a good fucking organization. Yeah. But then again again here's the thing in defense of the lakers then why aren't the clippers doing that yeah yeah it doesn't translate to some teams i'm trying to think of what hurt would hurt me the most with my kids i thought it would be the cowboys, but I got to be honest, if my kids came home decked head to toe in nets, it would be a big problem for me. It'd be a big problem.

Dude, the Brooklyn Nets have become a, oh, dude, Cowboys and Nets? Oh, that's a tough one. No, it couldn't be. Couldn't have it. now it couldn't be couldn't have it the hardest part would be is if you accepted it and then like it's their birthday and you had to go out and go purchase the jersey for them at that point i i think i would be like listen i'll give you the money for it but i know i'm not setting foot in that fucking store and i'm not putting my hands on that jersey your mother your mother is your mother is is buying it i remember i still think

about that time me and you got a thing from fenway and they handed us the trophies and luck and the guy just goes at least the yankees weren't in it this year this was the year that the yankees weren't and i'm just holding it with a picture and i leaned over and i go dude you got to delete that because it was like the lady was so nice and they gave us a tour and she goes oh there's three trophies and three of you. And I'm just like frozen. And I just. Oh, I remember that. And you go, dude, I can't believe you held that. And then the guy goes, don't worry. That's the year the Yankees didn't even make the playoffs. And I just go, Bill.

And you go, you said to me, you go, dude, as a friend, I'll delete it. It was like the lady was so sweet. And I know you were just. Yeah, that was Beth. She's a sweetheart. She's so sweet. Yeah yeah she's yeah yeah yeah no she's the best no no no i i i knew you were just being nice it didn't mean anything you just know when she goes like this because she was so happy and she goes oh there's three of you and three trophies we'll take a picture and dude i just went into this dude it's like, all right. I'm surprised you didn't. And I didn't want to be disrespectful, but no, man. I like, here's the thing, dude. I like organizations that are rivalries of the Yankees if they're certain organizations.

On a level, I respect, I can't believe I'm saying this. You have to respect the Red Sox in a way because the Red Sox are probably one of the most baseball savvy, best baseball towns in America. And the level that Red Sox fans and Red Sox media give a fuck is something that I, you know, the Patriots, the Patriots, even though we, I, I, the Patriots are fucking the Patriots, dude. I respect Tom Brady. I respect Bill Belichick. It's the organizations like the Cowboys who call themselves America's team. Oh, I'm going to Texas in a couple weeks. It's the Cowboys that call themselves America's team.

And some Cowboy fans, listen, I have friends that love troy acheman emmett smith and all that grew up in new york and they had those three michael irvin and they're cool but i've been to giant stadium and metlife stadium where cowboy fans would like look up at the screen when they do the history of the giants and be like let's get out of here okay let's go boys let's go like wild people are there and i'm like i can't i can't do it dude i can't it's the fans dude it's the fans that's what it is met fans hate for the yankees i want pain i want pain there you go well i mean i i like i like to actually really like the lakers in the franchise up until like about, you know,

the end of magic and shit like that. But like, um, you know what it is? It's not even a Lakers ball. They just represent to me, uh, the road that the,

that the NBA went down where they just sold their soul to these fucking free agent super teams. And, uh, I just, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I like the way it used to be. I used to like, like I don't know.

I like the way it used to be. I used to like... Looking at that kid like Trae Young. Trae Young's not going to stay in Atlanta. Someone's going to pick him up. I don't think What's-His-Face is going to stay down. Zion, if he stays healthy, he's not going to stay in New Orleans. I just feel like...

You see me looking at him going like, all right, John Morant's going to stay in Memphis Orleans. I just feel like just you just see me like you look at him going like, all right, John Moran's going to stay in Memphis his whole fucking career. He'll probably end up on the Lakers and it's just kind of like, I don't know. All right, guys. Well, that's another episode of

the Anything Better podcast. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Check out paulverde.com for all my dates. I'm going to Addison, I'm going to Houston I'm going to Tampa, I'm going to be in Indianapolis, I'm going everywhere Check me out Check out Verzi Effect, Bone to Pick

Anything better, check out my special Bill, what do you got coming up man? I got Vegas Huh? I got Vegas on the 5th and 6th Unless this is coming out after this um i got you know what paul i got a run of dates in uh the end of june i'm in um i'm in uh new jersey uh so i'll be out that way club soda kenny will be hanging and uh and then

i i wrote a little something that i'm gonna shoot shoot, going to direct. I'm not in it. Just going to direct it. Have a little fun in May. Hey, Bill, maybe we should eat some Italian food when you come out to Jersey. Shout out to Club Soda Kenny, the fucking absolute best, guys. This has been Jesus Christ. This has been the Anything Better podcast. We will see you next week. Take care.

From myself, Bill Burr, and the Greek Freak, we're out. Thank you.