Anything Better? - You Live In The Woods

Episode Date: May 14, 2022

Is there Anything Better than Bill & Paul talking about living in the woods and heckling Hitler?

what's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast with your host paul bursey bill burr producer andrew semlitz out there from his compound in beverly hills and guess what everybody you guys listening to episode number 61. Guys, what do you have for 61? I'm looking it up right now. 61, I'll tell you. That's a tough one. Who wore 61 in football? Let's see.

Rodney Hudson. What? All right. Who wore it in the NBA? Nobody. Nobody. Dave Piontek. the picture's in color uh that's it baseball was there ever a baseball i'm sure oh i'm sure i bet you hockey hockey's got a 61 no okay mlb player best number one through 99 here we go oh god scrolling down paul we've been

on this podcast for a while 55 56 59 60 they have dallas kuchel 61 levon hernandez oh okay. I remember Levon Hernandez. Paul, how did you guys do last night? Did you guys beat the Blue Jays? Oh, I'm going to tell you how we did. The New York Yankees have won 11 straight games, and we're sweeping fucking everybody right now. Now, listen, I know it's early. Hey, you were playing garbage first.

This is the big one. If you're playing Toronto and you're sweeping them, that's great. Well, yeah, we beat Toronto. Yeah, you're playing the fucking Orioles and the White Sox and some B-League team. Relax. No, no, no. We played, yeah, one of them was the Orioles. Okay, there you go.

There's fucking four wins. All right, but we just beat the, we beat in Toronto back-to-back games, beat the Blue Jays up. That's, you know. And listen, let's be honest. I mean, Boba Shett, I mean, the guy's so dreamy with his highlighted hair. Boba Shett's pretty good. What a name.

Boba Shett? Boba Shett. Boba Shett is like. Almost sounds like Boba Fett. It does. Boba Shett. But listen, 11 straight games in any professional league is, I'll take. I'll take 11, but it's too early because they could lose seven out of the next eight,

and then it doesn't matter. Paul, you ever think maybe I'm trashing the Yankees because the Red Sox have lost four games to walk-offs, hits, home runs, fucking all kinds of shit. I feel like baseball, it's always been for me, it's always been July 15th is when you know who a team is. It's way too early. Look what you guys did last year. You guys weren't that good, and then all of a sudden you guys got it great. So, hey, look at the Celtics.

Dude, the Celtics were like, what, eighth, ninth, tenth, and then all of a sudden they finished. Yeah, then they came on. How about that game last night, huh? Jalen Brown just deciding we were not gonna lose he ended the game in the first half although the one thing i do hate about the nba is your team's up 25 and you know at some point that's going to be cut to eight i know especially every single time i like, by the end of the third quarter, I just couldn't take it anymore.

And I went and I played drums, and I just kept checking the score. It's the only sport. Yes. Let's talk about this for a second because I was saying this yesterday. I'm not going to say the NBA is fully fixed. Thank you. But listen, but the NBA is manipulated. This is what it is. I figured it out last night because I was watching that I was watching the game the NBA has a way especially

when there's stars and I'm listen when you have a John Morant who they're saying face of the the next guy one of the next side which he is they want that guy to make money for the league and to keep going so a call here and there to keep it, fuck it, to keep a series in. But keep them close that maybe he can do something. Give them a, what do they call it? A fighter's chance, a puncher's chance. Dude, it is the most, it is the easiest manipulated fucking game. And there's no fucking way that the NBA commissioner does not sit down with those

referees and say who gets the calls who doesn't individually and as far as the team goes because dude you literally see dude I saw last night right I mean they evened it up uh Jalen Brown what the fuck happened I mean he just like knocked this guy down or he pushed to clear them out with his hand. Yeah. I'm like, that's an offensive foul. He's Jalen Brown. You know, we, you know, we get the call. And then I watch, uh, uh, the Greek freak go down and do the same thing. It's like, Oh, I get it. So if you're at NBA all-star weekend, you know, and you got all these endorsements and shit, not saying Jalen Brown does, but like if you're an all star, you're like a top tier player. Not only do you get those calls now in fantasy NBA, that kind of fucking happens in every sport. But that whole thing that I feel like just with like putting the whistle away, always letting them play.

And now he's calling it tight. The same game. Dude, I said for years the NBA was fixed. And then everybody said, oh, you're a conspiracy theory idiot, which I was. But when they finally had the mobbed up ref, their thing was, oh, it's one guy. It's always one guy, Paul. It's always some giant thing. And they always pin it. One person always takes the fall. That's it.

Well, they just did a thing where they admitted that the refs were talking where they admitted that they do have meetings, like they have a little briefing before a game. And that story that what's his name said about Allen Iverson was insane. And it was awesome that Allen Iverson recognize it. So apparently Allen Iverson showed a ref up, something happened. He showed a ref up and all of them hated that he did it. So apparently Allen Iverson showed a ref up, something happened. He showed a ref up and all of them hated that he did it. They had a meeting before the game and they're just fucking killing

them the whole game. And, and, and they're just not letting the Sixers win. And he was like, no way the Sixers are going to fucking win this game. And then that guy Donaghy started going. So finally, during the game, Iverson walked up to one of the refs and he goes, so dude, how long is this going to go on for? And he goes, what are you talking about? And Iverson looked at him. He goes, you know what I'm talking about? How long is this going to, how long is this going to go on for? And it was just basically like, yeah, dude, like it was fucking put in place. So Kevin, Kevin Garnett one time said, you know, we didn't fit the NBA script this year. said, you know, we didn't fit the NBA script this year.

I was like, he's going to get fined for that. But I mean, that's funny. You can argue with me, some jerk-off comedian that doesn't play fucking anything, right? And just say, but when a fucking player in the league is saying it. Well, what about John Morant last night? He goes, yeah, they kind of put the whistles away and let us play and let us bang, which was a good thing. But that just means that when they put the whistles away, then later in the game, if a little hand, a little, after the guy shoots and it hits the hand, they blow the whistle and it changes everything. So I don't think they want a golden state to go

up to nothing, especially when in both of those games in Memphis last night. So I think that they want John Morant to kind of go further. I do. Yeah, dude. If somebody gets swept, that's not good. That's not a good thing. Now, I don't think that they manipulate every single thing, but I definitely think that the NBA was in a horrible place in the late 70s. Yeah. And they stepped in shit accidentally when Bird goes to Boston, Magic goes to the Lakers,

and then they'd set off this thing that I feel like ever since then, they're like, this is our formula to make money. And for the longest time, you know, like that last time the Celtics and Lakers went into the finals, the one that we won. Dude, the year before, we were like the worst team in the league. And then out of nowhere, we get Kevin Garnett for nothing with Kevin McHale in their front office. And then I remember the Lakers got Pau Gasol for nothing. They got his brother, but his brother stunk at that point. It's like a straight up trade. And they just built both

these teams up to be on this fucking head- on collision so they could redo the 80s against Celtics Lakers. They did that for back to back years. And then I think what they realized when LeBron went to Miami, that these, you know, these super teams, these pile on teams are great for ratings. teams are great for ratings because the Miami heat fans will watch. And then all of everybody that fucking hates a pylon championship team will watch to root for them to lose. And I gotta be honest with you, dude, like so many of these champions,

I mean, it's been, it's been a little better these last couple of years, but like, you know, those Kevin Durant warrior teams was fucking stupid. The heat was stupid. The Celtics won that one with the big three. That was a pile on one. All of the Lakers throughout Kobe's whole fucking career were pile on teams right down to their coach. And I just feel like, I don't know that to me, the NBA for the longest time has just been like it's cast like a movie.

Well, I want to tell you something to you and to all the Boston Celtics fans out there. The Boston Celtics have a place in Paul Verzi's heart forever. And I'm going to tell you why. Because the fact that they swept those fucking rats, those fucking rats in Brooklyn. I mean, I when I found that news out, I I mean, it wasn't like the Knicks or anything, but I, the, the joy that that fucking gave me, because just seeing, you know, Kevin Durant telling those young Knicks fans, take the jerseys off. I don't care if he's joking or not. He's been shitting on the Knicks.

So I loved seeing that. But yeah, man, dad Jalen Brown and Jason Tatumum that's a fucking dude and then and then you throw a guy who does all the intangibles like marcus smart that's the ingredients for a championship grant williams yes grant williams is like he's like a player coach he's out there like that guy they had a mic in the chest did you see that they bumped him in the chest and they and they go and stan van and Stan Van Gundy goes, he goes, that guy's, even though he's small, he's like that guy's not going to move, dude.

Like you could punch that guy in the face. Like you guys have a gritty, you guys have the, in my opinion, the makeup and ingredients for a championship run with, with that. But I do think Marcus smart needs to be on the court for, to win that. That doesn't matter. But I also, I think what we have was good. Back in the day, you could win like that. But I think once you got into the era of is Barkley calls him the bus riders,

the people that, or maybe there is a bus rider guy coming off the bench. Me to me, a bus rider is a guy that they're already winning. You come in and you just like Clemens, you come in and like the Yankees were already winning and he comes on and the next thing you know, he's going through Heroes Canyon or whatever. It was like, dude, they were already winning without you. Yeah. I just love that you got back into the NBA the weekend that I was going to your house.

This is what a good friend Bill is. I was coming to his house. I spent four nights at his house with my wife what a good friend Bill is. I was coming to his house. I spent four nights at his house with my wife, like a few years back. This is like two, three years before the pandemic. And you go, what do you want? What do you want to, you know, you want, you want Johnny blue. What do you want? I was like, like, whatever you want. And I was like, the Knicks are playing tonight. And he goes, I'm going to get the package. So he fucking, he got the NBA package. And then you started watching the Celtics and you

got back into it, which is fucking awesome. I got to tell you something. I have all the packages and that's all last night. Not only did I watch the Celtics game until the third quarter, I would play drums because I was like, the NBA drives me fucking nuts. You'd be up by 40 points. You can never relax. Well, you guys were up a 38-0 run you guys were up what 25 at one point yesterday 24 25 yeah and then yeah got down to like 12 or 15 or something and i was just like i just i don't i care too much to watch the rest of this. It's weird. But I not only did that, I sat down and I watched the whole, the Red Sox versus the Angels. Like I'm totally in on baseball this year.

Oh, you're back. I love it. I love it. And then I watched the Bruins the other night too. We were playing. It was a 0-0 game with a couple minutes left in this, this, the second period. And, um, the hurricanes scored, you know, when they score the second goal. So, so close to the first one, they're still announcing the first one, which by the way, I don't like how the announcer after he says,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he goes, that's what they do in the garden. And I'm like, did they try to take that back? Because that's really, uh, um, um, Rick flares thing. And he's from Carolina. Like, I don't understand like why they'd it's like, can you come up with your own? Can you rip off somebody original other than the one that we did? So anyway, they went up two to nothing. Then, uh, Taylor hall scored. We was two to one and i'm like all right here we go you know we got the big three you know first line let's see what happens dude and they just fucking turned it on three to one four to one five to one dude they score one no angle they shot it off to our goaltender the side of his fucking head and it went once i saw that i was just all right, it's not our night.

But here's the thing, dude. I just watch this shit because I got a bunch of buddies of mine going like, oh, man, my kid's out here. They're becoming L.A. fans. I try to get them to watch it. My teams, they don't care. What I do is I just watch it every night and I, and I'm passionate when I watch it in like 10 today, my daughter went to school with the red socks t-shirt on that.

I got her in Boston and she goes, Hey dad, you want to watch the red socks tonight? And I was like, yes, I do. Oh, that's that's that's me. Me and Lucas went to the mall the other day to buy sneakers. Right. As we do as, as in the Verzi household, you know, me and Lucas walking through the mall the other day to buy sneakers, right? As we do as, as in the Verzi household, you know, me and Lucas walking through the mall, getting kicks. And he ends up getting like multiple boxes, but I give him credit. It was his money. He got, my son has made honor roll every quarter.

Dude, he's one of the best basketball players on a team, best shooters. And he's made honor roll every quarter. So he gets cash. He gets payola. He makes the honor roll. He gets, he gets cash. payola he makes the honor roll he gets he gets cash and if he gets high on a roll he gets more cash from his grandmother so he's got like you know he's like dad i got 350 i want to go get sneakers so he bought the new lamello balls he bought like white nikes for the summer so we're walking and he just we're just talking and he goes dad he goes he goes i love the knicks so much goes, he goes, if they win and me and you were there, he goes, I'm going to break. He goes, I'm going to cry. He goes, I, I want them to win

so bad. I said, buddy, we're going to be there. And he goes, he goes, I love the Knicks so much. He goes, I give my life for them to win. I go, let's not get crazy. I go, he goes, dad, he goes, you don't understand. He goes, you don't, you don't understand. And cause I've taken them to the garden. We've been to the garden. My son like loves the garden, knows the garden. You know, the fact that I got to open for you at the garden and have like the set of my life. And I tell him that like, yeah, center court, I was right there. But like he said, he said, he goes, I'll give my life for a Knicks championship.

I go, buddy, we're going to be there, dude. But like having that. And then I just thought of friends that I knew in high school who was like, my dad likes the Yankees. Fuck that. I'm a Mets fan. And I'm going, your dad fucked up, dude. Your dad fucked up, man. If you don't love what your dad loves, it's the it's on the dad. It's on the dad, man. I don't know, dude. That's a tough one, though, because there's other variables. Because the guy could have married a fucking jerk, and then she's just always coming at him. You know, if you hear that awful thing where the dad or the mom

turns the kids against the other parent, that happens sometimes in divorce and shit. It's just like, yeah, it becomes a real bad thing. I don't know. My thing is you know once a year the whole family goes back goes back east and um i think this year i'm gonna take my my son's too little but i'm gonna take my daughter to a red socks game we're gonna get like bleachers well not bleachers i don't want to be around drunks but um just gonna get you know some regular

old seats you know and get some hot dogs. She always like, she hears this song every night, buy me some peanuts and cracker Jacks. And she goes, I want to go dad. I want to get peanuts and cracker Jacks. It's hilarious. So I don't know if we'll be there for the whole game. She'll probably get bored after a while when she's, you know,

I'll buy her like a little, like some Red Sox stuff. We'll probably go for like, you know, five innings or whatever. Are you, I was talking to a buddy about this the other day. What's your thing? I'm a night game guy. Are you a night game or a day game? I'm a night game, mezzanine, hot dog, beer. Good. I don't need the low. I like to see the vantage point. I'm I'm I don't like the day game. I'm a day game. If it's during the week, some random day game where people are skipping work because the vibe at the park is awesome. And I am a under the mezzanine in the shade shade. Yeah. But if I go up, but I love a night game. Yeah. You got to love it. Yeah. Night games are great. I love a night game under a lot. I got to tell you something. One of the nicest places I've been to see a baseball game other than Yankee

stadium in Pittsburgh was Dodger stadium. I think Dodger stadium is fucking awesome. Yeah. And the fact that that was during that awful cookie cutter stadium thing. And they kept it. Yeah. But they made a good one. And it's the only one with either five decks or six decks.

I forget. It goes all the way up. And it was weird because I walked into Dodger stadium and I walked in, I was up in left field on the top. You know what I do? I go to a Dodger game. I'm starting the tradition now, Mike price, the great Mike price from the Simpsons and F is for family. Like he was a huge Mets fan. He actually made me sort of like, I root for the Mets when I see their score, because I know it makes them happy. So we go to a Dodgers Mets game every year and he's a total baseball guy. So if I'm there keeping score, he's not going to be, you know,

people give you a shit when you keep score. I love doing that. Oh, with the, with the book. Yeah. I got a friend, a couple of that kid, Chris Neff does it. I know some other baseball people that will do it, but I just, you know, because then you got to be like, wait, what happened? If you miss something, wait, what happened with the, you got to write it down. You got to pay attention.

Yeah. Then what's great is if you keep it years later, you look at it and you look at the names, dude, I have some from, I have like fucking Cal Ripken. I have like, you know, like Jeter and all of those guys, 98 Yankees. I have like you know like Jeter and all of those guys 98 Yankees I have those somewhere in my office

I have like those can you see who they played and then you see how they did that day and you can actually just look at the box score and see

sort of relive the game a little bit that's fucking awesome I know what all the young people are saying or you could just go on fucking oldbaseball.com and watch the

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Go into everyplate.com and enter code BETTER179. That's up to 104 value uh speaking of making people happy i was in chicago who i surprised joe bartnick for a special joe bartnick crushed a special at the dance theater yeah and uh we we went out after the amount of people that came up to me saying, when you and Bert talk animals on anything better, it warms our heart. This lady was like one woman was like she knew about grizzly bears and she like studied them or whatever. And she goes listening to you guys talk. She was I could listen to you guys talk. I sent Andrew a bunch of picture. Andrew i sent andrew a bunch of picture andrew i sent you a bunch of stuff with animals um on instagram and shit but uh yeah people were getting a kick out of how we were saying what would kill us what we would what we would want to kill us

more and then i just saw like 40 foot snakes and all this shit it was i'm telling you dude there's got to be somewhere there's got to be something funny with comedians camping i was gonna you take comedians from each generation you get like a uh a dom uh what's it called aurora dom aurora then you get like who's under like whoever would be like right like a rich boss then you get like a your generation then you get like, who's under like, whoever would be like, right. Like a rich boss. Then you get like a, your generation. Then you get like the younger comic all the way up and you put them in the fucking woods with cameras for four days with wildlife.

Probably some of the funniest shit ever. Yeah. And I'll enjoy watching it. Cause you're not going to get me out there. Yeah. Could you imagine Bobby? Dude, what the fuck was that dude i gotta you know i can't believe he goes out in the wilderness there's no way he does that and dude he's fucking prepared dude i went with him once because he fucking called me on a podcast and i go yeah i'll go well he better have a gun because he's not out running anything. Dude, he brought coffee pots.

Dude, I'm prepared. How are you prepared out there? Dude, he had bags of dinner and like coffee pots. Listen, dude, at some point you're going to sleep in your sleeping bag. And then all the nocturnal animals are coming out with their fucking yellow eyes and shit that show up on your video video and they're awake and you're asleep and they're looking for a meal and you're wrapped up like a burrito yeah dude i got a knife i got a gun i got a shoddy yeah and you're asleep yeah no it's it's i i want there's no way I could sleep in the woods. OK, the wilderness. I can't go to sleep unless somebody's up.

No, you got to do it the way you the way you go camping with. And we got claymores around the perimeter. Clap them three times, Paul. No, no, no, no. You got to have a cabin. You got to have a cabin with your family. And then you go fishing and you have a plate. You're actually in a structure. All right. That's a vacation, paul that's that's not camping yeah it is no no no if you're in a fucking cabin that's not camping in the woods yeah you're in a house yeah but it's in the woods. Paul, you live in the woods. I've seen the pictures.

I mean, dude, the foliage and all of that. You literally live in the woods. It's fucking beautiful, but you're in a house. Yeah, that's true. You're in a cabin. You can control the environment. So your definition of camping is you got to be in a sleeping bag on the, or in a tent outside. Something can step on what you're sleeping in and it collapses and then you can get killed.

That's camping. A fucking bear comes up to your cabin. You can film it through the fucking window, which is also something that I wouldn't do because those things learned how to open car doors like that's in their wheelhouse now. Oh, so, dude, I had Tom Green. I had Tom Green on the Versi effect a while back. And he said to me that he is with a group of people that are going to prove Sasquatch is real. And he fucking meant it. And I apparently all these people that are seeing it in washington state so bill burr i ask you on the anything better podcast do you believe in some sort of bigfoot or sasquatch no no no you think all those and i'm not i don't know but you think

all those sightings are bullshit all those people are bullshitting when they see it yes okay do you believe in ufos bill all those people are bullshitting when they see it? Yes. Okay. Do you believe in UFOs, Bill? I don't know. Okay. I'll go with that, yeah. If there's people there, it's all right. But no... As long as you don't start yelling at me.

Dude, there's like nine million fucking souls. You really take what I... All right, all right. But, dude, after a while, I got to be honest, I don't really- What are people seeing with this Bigfoot fucking thing, dude? Because people keep seeing something. There's no way there's something that big and hairy that we could hunt and put its head on the fucking-

If somebody had a Bigfoot head on the wall, then I would believe that it existed. Cause we would have killed one by now. And where are their bones when they die out there too? Yeah, they're not evolving and they don't have weapons. We could easily fucking capture one and take it out. But what do you mean weapons? Was it fucking Chewbacca? It's got a fucking crossbow.

Well, that's what I'm saying. It's not evolving. Like, you know, ever since they've been talking about Bigfoot, our guns kept getting better they're not evolving i'm saying that we would he could easily kill them like a tiger's a fucking tiger dude how fucking nuts would it be to saw a bigfoot with a with a fucking crossbow or a fuck they just evolved they're taking hunter shit that would be what would be more terrifying than a nine foot fucking sasquatch

with a fucking rifle oh my god dude a feminist with an instagram page thank you um all right bill burley hey i'll be at the fucking chuckle hut on tuesday tuesday um i don't know man i don't know Tom Green's hilarious he was like no we're gonna prove it within 10 years I'm like I wanted to be like Tom I love you but you're not gonna prove it no that's not happening no no

and Sasquatches would have there would have been it's like the Loch Ness Monster it's just like when is that thing gonna fucking die let's just say alright it's a fucking dinosaur and shit. Okay. What is it? It's immortal.

It just keeps living. It doesn't need a female to bang, and then they make little Loch Ness Monsters. Yeah. What's its lifespan? Yeah. It's like a fucking vampire meets a dinosaur. Like, none of it makes sense. No, no.

I don't believe in a Loch Ness monster but i i i gotta be honest there are thousands of people that say they saw uh like sightings and it's like are they all lying that's the only thing yes all right no i i remember they did a show called finding bigfoot it was on for like 10 seasons they didn't find shit it'd be the middle of the night they would just hear oh they'd be like there it is there it is that was like that that ghost hunter show they have these stupid fucking devices i don't know what they were to measure paranormal waves and shit. It's going crazy. Look at that.

Look at that reading. It's like, what is it? I don't even know what it is. Yeah, it's a little box with a number on it. And it's just like, when are you going to catch one of these fucking things? They never did. And people just kept watching, peering around the corner. Like, if they ever found a bit on that if they ever found a ghost

okay the footage would not be shown at fucking 12 30 at night whenever that dumb ass show came on like you're gonna watch that night and then you're gonna come into work did you see it they you missed it they had actual footage of it it Oh, dude, I saw one where a guy showed up. He had beef with a guy that died. And he wanted to go confront the guy. And he's going, you were a coward in life, and now you're a coward in death. Show yourself.

It's like, what? It was ridiculous, dude. It was ridiculous. But people watched. I don't know. But what about you when you went on your little trip there and you saw Colonel Sanders and he said, Hey, see you later. And then next thing you knew, he was like nine miles down the fucking street. Oh dude. That was, that was something, man.

I, I, I can't explain that, man. Dude. I had somebody reach out. So you're also, you know, let's be honest. We're not the brightest people. I wasn't drunk, dude. And the kid, dude, I wasn't the one. The other kid saw it. The other kid goes, dude, look at that real quick. Look how far it was. And he was freaked the fuck out. And then I looked at him and the guy was like a football field down in two seconds. So I'm not sure.

And some woman goes, no, some woman wrote me and she goes, I know what that was. She goes, I'm a professor at so-and-so. That was like, and she started saying like a paradox. And I was just like, some people were like fucking went nuts over that episode, but some paradox, isn't that like a problem? I don't know. She said something like another dimension or paranormal.

It was like, this guy was in a porthole and then, and he probably had a fuck. And she was like, there, that was a real thing that you saw. Well, here's my thing about that.

If that guy walked through a porthole, why isn't he also looking at you like what the fuck is that jacket made out of like if he's from the past how come he's not freaking out how come they're always just totally chill walking through a fucking porthole yeah the only thing that i would i i was like if i was a time traveler dude like i would i would time travel throughout whatever time to malls and i would go there at night and i would get the fucking modern clothes and i'd put them on so then i could walk around and look at shit i wouldn't show up looking like this in a hundred years wearing a fucking hoodie. Maybe they'll think I'm a hipster. Look at him. He's dressing like it's 2022. So if you could go back anywhere, would you go to like a

sporting event locker room? Would you go to like a, would you go to like a, uh, I'm trying to think of like, if you could go somewhere and visualize what they were seeing at, at any moment, where would you go? Like, you know, I would go back and rather than kill Hitler, I would heckle him. That would be the ultimate. That would be great. What are you talking about? You midget, you're fucking brown eyes, you ugly little sweaty bastard. See if you could like, you fucking brown eyes, you ugly little sweaty bastard. See if you can,

like, why does everybody have to go back and kill the guy? Why couldn't you just defuse him with some good heckles? And just keep showing up early at all their marches. Dude, I'd go back to September 10th, 2001. What would you heckle Hitler?

What would you say to him? I would fuck with his mustache, dude. I would fuck with his mustache. Yeah, hey, Charlie, you're going to lead us into a world war. Hey, you missed the spot. You missed the spot. I like this one like this one hey adolf go like this go like yeah yeah you got something you got something right there well i go like this why are you yelling like i do with my wife why are you yelling yeah um no i'd go back to September 10th. This guy sounds crazy.

I would prevent 9-11, dude. I'd go back with the footage of September 10th. What about when he would sit there and he'd be all quiet before he spoke? Jesus Christ, let's go. Let's get to the hate. Are we going to burn a book? Hey, everything, you don't like Jews because you're an ugly little bastard. You're trying to take the focus off of you. Yeah, but you got to make sure he don't get you, though,

because he'll fucking he'll string you up with fucking piano wire and shit like they did in after that in Val. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He he's going to. Well, you know, he never did shit. His goons. He never did shit. His goons. All he did was run his fucking yap. If you got him early on,

make posters just making fun of him. I would just start walking around dressing like him. Just fucking screaming at food. You'd be a Hitler impersonator yeah oh my god that'd be hilarious dude he would have you killed quick though man they would go back what yeah dude they would go back and be like adolf there's a guy i don't know i'm fucking with you I think

it was a dumb premise I thought that heckling would end the third reich it would confuse him it would definitely confuse him he'd be like guys I don't know what's this guy doing hey Rudolph you're really gonna listen to this guy Ivan just trashing all of them Rudolph, you're really going to listen to this guy?

Ivan! Just trashing all of them. Oh, my God, Bill, how hard did me and you laugh? How hard did me and you laugh at the Den Theater? Andrew, put this picture up, please, for the love of God. Put this picture up. I'm going to send it to you right now. Dude, I swear to God, this picture had me and bill. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sending it to you right now, Andrew.

I don't know if me and bill ever as friends laughed together, Mike Berlino walked in people like what is going on? It fucking struck a chord. I just sent it to your text. If you could post it or show it i don't know how you could dude i or should i just do it here or no maybe you could do it better dude we were in the thing and i'm holding the phone and me and bill took a picture and it was just like hey man let's take a picture you know and bill did that like over the top like influencer look and i swear to god i've been anytime i've been in a bad anytime i've been in a bad mood i've been looking at it

oh my god it's the funniest thing we were fucking crying did you get it i don't know what he's saying, but He said something about two o'clock Yeah, I gotta send it to my computer to show you guys Oh, okay But yeah, dude, that was That was so funny And Bill, you did the right thing by going back to him By the way, how good, oh, you didn't have a steak You know, we went out to Chicago

When I go to Chicago, I like to buy my friends steaks Which is what I do I like to, you know, I gotta be honest with you I love picking up a fucking tab I you. I love picking up a fucking tab. I just do. I like picking up a fucking tab. I just like taking the check. Well, you were coming in hot. No, I'm getting there. Three. We're getting steaks at four. Blah, blah, blah. Dude. I was so fucking wiped out and fighting off a cold.

You're like, yeah, you want to go out there and do it? I was just like, yeah, no, you didn't have to though, dude. I should have said no. Dude, we were on the couch. When I tell you that hit me so hard, we were fucking crying laughing. But no, I went into Chicago. I landed and I said, let's get steaks at 430. So Kenny goes, yeah. And I asked Bill and Bill was like, hey, dude, I'm taking a nap.

And I'm going, oh, shit. I know what it's like when you're tired. So then I just felt like I felt bad. But, dude, the steak was incredible, man. I love going to Chicago and getting a steak. Oh yeah, you got some. Yeah, places, Kenny, Club Soda goes, yeah, Paul, because it's my kind of town.

Chicago's still, all right, let's do this. Let's wrap up the show with this. Top five places to eat in the United States. You want to go first? You want me to go first? Well, geez, in the United States, in the United States, top five cities to eat in. Oh, cities. Yeah. Like tough. Yeah. Oh, I thought you said places. Oh, cities. All right. Los Angeles.

Top five. Oh, I got to said places. Oh, cities. All right. Los Angeles. Top five. Oh, I got to keep going? Yeah. All right. LA. Chicago. Oh, you're getting me here. New York.

You know you're going to have have those three but then i'll come dude you can't do three the burritos the burritos in san francisco uh brats in milwaukee nashville cuban food in miami dude i mean what are we doing here five yeah miami was miami was one of them too yeah i got miami's a great food city yeah i got new orleans oh fuck new orleans is a good one new orleans oh my god um but dude then there's barbecue in the south there's barbecue in the south dude i know you know me uh the uh saws barbecue in the South. There's barbecue in the South, dude. I know, you know, me, the, uh, saws barbecue in Birmingham, Alabama. That's my spot. There's a sushi place. Actually.

There's a Thai place and a sushi place in Vegas that they say is like, like just nuts. But, um, Vegas has really good food, New York. I would say New York. I would, from my experience, uh york vegas miami chicago and then it's and then yeah i mean i guess la's got such great la's got such great mexican food and good food out there la has the best food period people don't know that dude the food out here is fucking unbelievable you east east coast guy hey they can't make pasta fucking bread over here good no i had good meals out there

ah yeah see you haven't gone to the right places yet no i've had i've had i've had really good meals out there delicious i'm still not getting great um dude i mean you're saying come out here you have a chip on your shoulder no but you're saying i mean you're saying best in the world i mean new york is best in the world maybe no best in the states no best in the world new york new york city's got some fucking unbelievable restaurants though well i i i yeah i'm just i'm too old okay go ahead yes that exactly i would say italian restaurants i would say new york i would say for italian over italy no no i meant i should have said world i meant in the states in the states but but yeah i don't know i don know. The best steak I ever had was at the Mirage with you in Vegas.

It's the best steak I ever had in my life. So who fucking knows? Um, I don't, New York is like, I don't know. It's like, they've just had their balls washed so many fucking times that like, first of all, like New York pizza is not good overall because so many people are living off the reputation of New York pizza. And then people who don't know where to go, go there. There are so many just fucking terrible slices of pizza in New York. It's off the hook.

90% of New York pizza sucks. New York pizza is not the best pizza. What people don't understand is the best pizza is not from New York pizza sucks. New York pizza is not the best pizza. What people don't understand is the best pizza is not from New York. The best pizza in the world is from Connecticut. The best pizza is from New Haven, Connecticut. And that's what Sally's and Frank Pepe's. The 1925 Frank Pepe's in Little Italy in New Haven. Connecticut oven pizza i don't know there's a

place out in uh jersey that's been making a lot of noise too oh yeah i got it in my phone we got to try it out dude when you come this way we'll go to yukon or something or we'll go we'll go to the what's it called yale bowl again and we'll go to new haven and we'll go to sally's and dude sinatra used to play the garden and have his driver go to Sally's and pick him up pies. Wouldn't it? I always heard that. And I kind of want to be fucking freezing cold by the time I got to,

I don't understand that. Where's New Jersey, New Jersey. I got it in my phone here, Paul. It's some brick oven pizza. Yeah. Brick oven's good, man, because the temperatures are so high. O-M.

New Jersey's. DeLuca's Pizza. Okay. And it says 9.4 barstool. Got a 9.4. Yeah, but here's the thing. Portnoy's not Italian. So I don't fucking, his fucking taste buds aren't.

Look, Andrew, I see you looking at me. I need an Italian kid to fucking take a bite. Got your question? Why do you keep sniffing and shrugging your shoulders? He's not Italian. I need it. I need an Italian guy. All you needed was a not for not.

Not for nothing. I need somebody from the old country's taste buds to let that sauce, cheese and bread hit their fucking palate. Underrated New Jersey. The food in New Jersey is underrated. It is. It is the food in New Jersey. I know it kills you. It is. The food in New Jersey is incredible. I know it kills you to say that, too.

There's killer Italian out there, too. No, no. I was playing Red Bank, and I just happened to stop at some fucking strip mall, and I went in there, and it was just this Italian deli. It was fucking insane, Paul. All of this homemade stuff, it was fucking bananas. I got that on my phone somewhere. I should have. Oh, look at stuff. It was fucking bananas. I got that on my phone somewhere. I should have. Oh, look

at that. There's New Haven. Sally's a pizza and Pepe's. I would say gun to my head. The Commodore's Palace. We ate there. Those cafes. Willie Mays Scotch House. Cafe Beignet.

You want to hear my spots Paul yeah write this down people these are the spots where do you want where do you want to go look there you go Bill's going to take you on a tour of America where do you want to go you want to eat some gumbo go down to Louisiana this is what I have for Philly Steve's Prince of Steaks

Nick's Roast Beef Ashton Cigar Bar. Oh, yeah. D'Alessandro's Cheese Steaks, Dinnick's Pork Style, Chicago Style. It says insane. I don't remember that. And Jay's Joint is another Philly one. Don't forget Saw's. Don't forget Saw's in Birmingham we just went.

I know, but I'm in Philly. Pittsburgh. Oh, you're in Philly. Pennsylvania Macaroni Company for the gabagoo. That's where we got that. Given to fly, fried chicken sandwich. That's a new place. One of these days, Paul, I'm going to make a coffee table book.

All my food spots. Rhode Island, Warwick, ice cream. And you know where we're going to put that book, Bill? Right up your fucking ass. No, we're going to put that book in our cigar lounge. We're going to put that book in our cigar lounge. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to have a cigar lounge next to a pizzeria.

So it's going to be Pauly's Pizza Parlor, and then it's going to be the cigar lounge. to next to a pizzeria so it's going to be uh paulie's pizza parlor and then it's going to be the cigar lounge so here's the thing you bankroll the pizza parlor i'll bankroll the cigar bar yep and then and we'll go 50 50 on the massage parlor and they'll and they'll be able to you'll be able to get an edge up that will have barbers in there and then what we'll do is we'll have we'll have sports stuff up so you could talk sports while you get your thing. And then you go into another room for a scotch and a fucking stick. And if you want a little bite, you go to Paulie's Pizza Parlor. We'll bring the pizzas over to you.

I'm glad you clarified that because I don't want somebody getting their beard trimmed as I'm eating a fucking slice in the same room. No, no, no. It's got to be separate. Yeah, the barber is just sports talk and a cut. it's got to be separate the the yeah the barber is just sports talk in a cut that's it send me the plans paul and then and then yeah and what are we doing in lexington oh kentucky is that what you want to retire no my well you know lucas is going to go to kentucky and stacy says if lucas goes to kentucky we're going to get a place over there so i was like all right so but no it doesn't matter where the cigar lounge is. We could do the cigar lounge wherever you want,

you know, but we'll have a nice, you know, nice little pizzeria next to a, next to a cut. Oh, we're going to do massages too. That's, that's nice. You have a little steam room. Yeah. I mean, this is all like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is all like, yeah. Just thinking how fast we would be divorced. If we had that, if I had that whole thing, I mean, what do I need anybody for? I've become a self-sustained. Oh, dude.

Stacey would call you crying, going, Bill, I never see him. He's always talking sports at the place. Oh, my God. Like when they're looking for Maury, for Maury's wigs. Oh, you know, I'm sure he's just went out with the friends and you'll find him. Jesus Christ. You're called Paul. You've just been sitting at the pizza parlor for days smoking. One of the coldest lines in fucking Goodfellas is when

they whack Maury's the Maury guy and then Henry Hill is saying to Jimmy the Gent what do I tell his wife what do I tell her he goes I tell you she ran off with some broad what the fuck do I care like that's so yeah

that he would like would like that lie that she would then be sitting at home thinking this guy that was loyal to her all these years because he's like you know 37 years of marriage he never didn't come home I know something happened that all of a sudden that she

would now she thinks the whole thing was a lie and the reality is this guy was killed man I was just like you know what i was talking to my brother about the thing when uh tommy shot spider and he just fucking shot him and he just goes like what are you what are you a fucking sick maniac and my and it's just like yeah like that's exactly like he was like that guy in real life what's funny is in real life the guy's bigger but like that guy was so sick that in real life,

they said he would just fucking kill anybody like at the drop of a dime, like just, you know what I mean? It's, it's, you know, and they glorify it in the movie, but animals bill. And we still quote it to this day. All right. I got a movie. I got to go fucking edit. All right. I got to get out of here. Sorry. I don't mean to be all Hollywood, but Paul, I need to go to an edit bay. Go to that edit bay. Do what you got to do. Uh, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be an unbelievable fucking movie.

I know that much. So, you know, why Paul? Cause you're in it. Well, that's part of it. My kind of actor paul bursey is what movie i get i did he goes like this he goes you want to know why joe he goes you want to know why joe d was the best he goes because he's italian dad he goes that's part of it in a bronx tale yeah he took his son to work he wanted on because he's italian dad well that's part of it um all right how weird my taste in cars and trucks is i actually love that bus no that's an old school cool bus i love that fucking bus i like that you got to drop the change in and all of that shit and i also love that that was his job that he drove the bus

and he would bring his lunch like Like just how simple that life was. And, but they had enough money for an apartment. He's got a wife and a kid. Remember he honked, he pulled the, he pulled the thing down to honk to his son and he goes like this and his son goes, no. And he just goes, and then his son ran. Yeah. Ran over. That was great. The simplicity of that life is something very appealing.

All right. All right. This has been a episode 61. Check out paulversey.com for all of my upcoming dates. Buffalo's coming up the 26th of May. Check out Bill's Monday morning podcast. Check out the Verzi Effect podcast. Please subscribe to the Anything Better YouTube channel and my YouTube channel. and uh my youtube channel oakland sacramento and uh fresno oakland sacramento fresno check out bill and uh we'll be back next week with another anything better thank you very much everybody we'll see you then you