Anything Better? - You're A Sweetheart

Episode Date: November 27, 2021

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what's up everybody and welcome back to your favorite hour of the week it's the anything better podcast with paul verzi bill burr producer andrew themless out there in beverly, and we have an amazing episode, number 43 for you guys on this Thanksgiving week. And, Bill, who's 43, Bill? The greatest number 43 is of all time. You'd be surprised. This is not a sexy number, but there's some beasts here. Rick Sutcliffe, great Rick Sutcliffe, won a Cy Young Award, three All-Stars, National League Rookie of the Year 1979.

171 wins, 4.08 ERA, 1,679 strikeouts. The great Cliff Harris, Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee 2020 for the Dallas Cowboys. He won at least one Super Bowl, I believe Super Bowl XII. And who else we got? George Atkinson, Dr. Death from the Raiders. That's a great nickname. Holy shit. Dr. Death.

Oh, dude, they were the best. The Soul Patrol. That was George Atkinson, Skip Thomas, Jack Tatum, and one other guy. I forget. Dennis Eckersley, Paul. Baseball Hall of Fame. Dennis Eckersley. 2,401 strikeouts, 390 saves.

And a head of hair. A head of hair. A head of hair that has never changed and a great broadcaster, too. Number two, Paul. Troy Palam hair. A head of hair that has never changed and a great broadcaster, too. Number two, Paul. Troy Polamalu. That's a great one. 700. They're all great.

Come on, man. Dennis Eckersley, George Askinson, Hall of Famer. Is he a Hall of Famer? No, but Polamalu's a Hall of Famer. Yeah. I know, but you fucking. They're just great because you know them. All right.

Sorry. Troy Polamalu, 2003 to 2014. 770 solo tackles, 12 sacks. He only had 12 sacks. I feel like he jumped over the line 15 times a year and timed it perfect. 14 forced fumbles, 32 interceptions. Is not in the Hall of Fame as of yet. He will be in without a doubt.

And then Steve Foley. Steve Foley, number one, 44 interceptions. He was a corner for the Denver Broncos, lost Super Bowl XI. One-time All-Pro. I don't know why he is number one, but 44 career interceptions is pretty amazing, although you're looking down at your phone, so I don't know. No, no. I'm trying to find out Palomalu because I thought he was in the Hall of Fame.

Well, this might be an old thing that I went to. I mean, I can't imagine that guy would have to win. Troy Palomalu is in the Hall of Fame. There you go. He was part of the 2020 class. That's what I was looking at. I'm not a rude

podcast partner. I would never do that looking at. All right. I'm not a rude podcast partner. I would never do that to you. Never fucking look at my phone while doing a show. And anybody that does that on your fucking shows, I see people do that. That's a bullshit move, okay? You're really setting me up to then just sit here like, what did you say, Paul?

You're watching a movie? I was listening. I was listening. You're watching Netflix. My wife always does that. Yeah, you're watching a movie? I was listening. I was listening. You're watching Netflix. My wife always does that. Yeah, you even listen? No, I was listening. What did I just say?

You know, you said you were going to go to that thing with your friends. I heard you. I was. I got the gist of it. I did a good one. No, that's not what I said. I'm out there busting my ass on the road. I had a good one yesterday., that's not what I said. I'm out there busting my ass on the road. I had a good one yesterday.

I was thinking about something else. Yesterday, Stacey's sitting on the couch, and she goes, before the game, before that Monday night football disaster, she goes, is it too warm out for a fire? Which was her way of saying, I'd really love for you to make a fire. Now I'm laying on the couch already, and I just go. Oh, God, that's such a brilliant line. I go really love for you to make a fire. Now I'm laying on the couch already. And I just go, Oh God, that's such a brilliant line. I go, uh, cause it's too warm for fire. I go, I go, would you want a fire? Do you want me to make a fire?

And she goes, I mean, I mean, kinda, if you, if you would get up and I go, yeah. And I just made it and I just made a nice fire. And then she goes, thank you. And I sat back down and I was just like, all right, I'm ready for some football football then i got sick to my stomach that's the way to do it dude yeah is it too i mean i would have been like i would have i would have you know known what she was doing i think it's too hot for fire be like oh yeah definitely definitely too hot yeah 10 degrees yeah hey man we're on the same page and i just go back and then she'd fucking just make a face and i'd start laughing and then i'd go out and do the fire i don't do fires out here dude la man you know you're not

selling too many fire pits out here in la we have mother Nature turns this place into a fire pit once a fucking year. So not really into it. I've never understood the fire pit to be honest with you. I think you have to have like a

some people do it with the stone but we do it like in our backyard and we kind of had a whole we have a patio with it and we just have like a bonfire

with people sitting around. The kids love doing like the s'mores and shit but you know know rains a lot out here it's never understood it yeah let's start a fire and just sit there and inhale fucking smoke it's like oh you can put on a jacket that's warm enough it is smoky i mean i would rather have a couple of whiskeys to warm myself up than uh it's just never been in it. Or if you get too close and it's just like, yeah,

it's just fucking hitting you. You gotta move. You gotta keep moving for the win. Yeah. Oh, it's the worst. It is. It is the worst.

What's going on in your life, Bill? Is everything good? Um, yeah, I had a great show last night. I did the goddamn, I did Jimmy Kimmel, got a free t-shirt. Jimmy's got some of the nicest, softest merch ever.

Had a great time on that. And then after that, I went to go see, I went to go to the goddamn comedy jam, tried out some new jokes, and then I played two songs. And I was totally relaxed, played great. Didn't fuck up. Mr. Brownstone played one of the Guns N' Roses. That was a tricky song.

Sometimes they go like that. Or they go right to, I used to do a little, but a little wasn't doing. And they switch it up just enough for a dumb guy like me. So I was just sort of being like, all right, I know I'm going to fuck this up at some point, but I'll be able to recover. So I just had a really, there was a couple of times I was playing the songs.

I have no idea what comes next. I go, but you know what? As I listen, I'll know what it is. And I was able to relax where when I had less experience playing drums live, I would be like, I don't know what comes next. And then I would fuck it up. You got to get yourself.

Yeah, but I know what comes right now. So just keep playing the hell out of this and whatever. I saw somebody say Bill Burr is amazing at the drums. You were getting a lot of love. By the way, Josh Adam Myers. I laugh every time I see the clips of him because that guy, he did it at Skank Fest. He does it everywhere. You want to talk about a guy who gives 110 percent.

Without a doubt. That guy is like, he just rocks his body. He dives into the crowd. He crowd surfs. He puts every passionate ounce of his body in the song. And then he's just like, yeah, man, I'm losing my voice. But, dude, it was the fucking best show. Dude, last night, I'm watching him whipping that crowd into a frenzy.

You know, L.A. crowd, people kind of said, come on, get up, get up. And he came back to it. He was like, you know, hardest working man in show business look on his face. I sent him a text this morning. I was saying, dude, that was amazing. Yeah. And then he talks. Everybody's like nervous and shit because you're outside.

You're going to crush it. You're going to crush it, bro. And then after you do it, oh, dude, you fucking killed it. You killed it. They loved it. Yeah, no, you're fucking great. The guy's the best. Josh Adam Myers is the fucking best.

We also had the rap party, the final rap party for F is for Family. And, you know, it was awesome. And it was also kind of sad. And I really made sure that I took it in because, you know, I know I was looking at everybody. I was like, this whole group of people is never going to be all together again. You know what I mean? We'll run into each other. There will be clusters here and there.

But to have so many of us there, they had skeeball there. We were playing that. And then what I loved was Mike Price stayed there to the very end. I left with about 10 minutes. When they said last call, I left because we had just come back from Vegas. My wife was tired. But, like, you know, just the captain going down with the ship, he was the best. And, um, I got to tell him how much fun I had working with them and stuff. But, uh,

yeah, dude, it's, that's the end of an era for me and my, my congratulations, man. Congratulations. I was going to do an inside joke about F is for family about a friend of ours, but I'm not going to, uh, uh i'm not gonna go there during something nice i was gonna but you know i'm gonna leave that out and say congratulations uh that's fucking awesome man yeah so now i kind of have uh you know i i just have like a lot of like free time now which is great like the second i'm done with this podcast i'm gonna go ride bikes with my daughter. And, oh, dude, like, I literally had to look around.

We got, like, a little one of those electric cars. I saw the picture. Oh, my God. You know what? My wife thought it was real. Stacey thought it was real. So Stacey goes, oh, my God. She goes, I love that truck.

I want, they got, he got one of those. And I go, Stacey, it's a fucking toy. I go. Yeah, it's the angle I took it. The angle, it looks big. It looks like it's in your drive. I love that truck I want They got He got one of those And I go It's a fucking toy I go Yeah It's the angle I took it The angle It looks big It looks

It looks like it's in your drive It looks like you bought A fucking new one Well this year What I did Paul Was I got All of my big gifts Out of the way early

So now I'm just dealing with Stock and stuffers Right So I'm gonna go to Amoeba Records And I'm gonna buy a bunch of like i got my daughter totally into like she like zeppelin arrowsmith acdc i put it on she says

she likes that already she's into that already yeah you know it's funny what you know what she thought they were saying instead of walk this way you know they sing different lyrics she thought they they were saying four kids play just going four kids play four i'm like no no honey it's walk this way she's like dad no it isn't i was like all right it's four kids play she likes back in black she likes black dog rock and roll those zeppelin songs uh 38 special hold on loosely and then i got like some really older shit um some 1950s stuff and then or like some trucker songs that are just funny you know that one six days on the road and i'm gonna make it home tonight like well yeah yeah yeah so they like those songs because they

sound silly she's listened to some uh willie and uh uh willie nelson and um who the hell did who did the uh um mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys she loves that song too oh who did that who did uh the guy who was supposed to be on the plane the day the music died and he gave up his seat oh uh merle haggard but it's not him it's waylon waylon jennings okay yeah i mean what is that um old faded levi's and silver buckles. And each night begins a new day. They all sounded like that's funny. I don't understand.

We don't know. You'll probably just ride away. Dude, how soothing is Willie Nelson's voice, man? I have to go see him. I have to see Willie Nelson. There's a few people out there that I got to go see. You know, the Monkees were saying they were doing their last fucking, I missed it, at the Greek out here in L.A.

And I just wanted to meet Mickey Dolan and just be like, dude, you were so fucking huge for me. Comedy and playing drums. Like, he was one of my favorite, like, after watching the Three Stooges, it was the Monkees. You know who's underrated? Not underrated, but not talked about enough

for my generation? The fucking Beach Boys, dude. The Beach Boys had some bangers, dude. Oh, yeah. I love that you give it up to the Beach Boys, but not the Beatles. No, no. I like some Beatles songs, but i don't put them i love

that pause you literally go no no no i dude you went in on them one time and you pick like their stupidest songs you like no i pick yellow submarine bill yeah maxwell silver hammer it's like hey man we all have a couple of shit jokes we're embarrassed about you know that's what you're going with i'll tell you who i gotta see i gotta see the foo fighters dude i gotta see the foo fighters i want to see him at madison square garden dude and i always miss it but i love them grow brings the josh adam meyers energy i was just gonna say he's the dude he fucking brings josh adam meyers energy to every show when he's whether drums or whether singing he's an animal yeah and he also just the guy he's like he's a riff monster dude he just he knows what is going to get an arena full of people to lose their fucking minds

that's got to be such a great feeling when you're noodling around and then you just come up with something oh dude you must get the chills or something dude speaking of that like one thing a great feeling when you're noodling around and then you just come up with something. Oh, you must get the chills or something. Dude, speaking of that, like one thing I do on Christmas now is and Stacey will tell you, I'm always good with the gifts. I don't tell her I don't ask her what she wants. I go out there. I don't do the Amazon thing. I go to stores. I buy her stuff. But what I started doing was I started doing an event. I started doing like you're going to get a concert. So I took her to Ed Sheeran because she loved Ed Sheeran and that kid crushes, right? So I took

her to one of Ed Sheeran's football stadium shows and it was at the Lincoln Financial in Philly. So we go down, we get a hotel. The kid is crushing, comes out alone. He's on stage alone for two and a half hours, not one other person. And he creates his own music, puts it in a loop, does the whole thing. And then the kid comes out, stops his song and starts talking. And he starts crushing with like stand up. And my wife's like, this fucking guy's got all the women already love him. He's crushing. And then he just goes into a hit and the place is going nuts.

Then I got her James Taylor tickets last year. So this year I got to find another, another concert to take her to. Underrated, underrated going out and seeing a legend at a casino. Me and my mother-in-law almost went to go see Johnny Mathis up in, uh, that's a good one up, up in Santa Barbara. I'm like that guy's still out on tour. I would love to see Johnny Mathis. That's a good one. Dancer's home. Because I wear a silly grin the moment you come into view.

All these old ladies, like losing their minds. Oh, dude. I'd go to a temptation show. I got to see him. I got to see Frankie Valli. Dude, Frankie Valli sat next to me on the plane. I was next to him. Let's put that in proper historical perspective. I sat next to me on the plane. I was next to him. Let's put that in proper historical perspective.

I sat next to him. And my show business ego almost got the better of me there. Yeah, Frankie was sitting next to me. Oh, was I? I was riding in first class before you were born there, Freckles. So I was sitting next to him, dude. Amazing shape. And then when the flight ended, he popped up like a fucking 20-year-old.

And I'm like, dude, that guy still has it. I got to go see him. Imagine he popped up like a fucking 20 year old and i'm like dude that guy still has it i gotta go see him imagine he popped up he wanted to get away from you dude i didn't say one fucking word to him oh you didn't say no i'm not bugging that guy were you sober at the time or were you drinking at the time um let's see i got three years this week november 24th tomorrow um i don't remember i wasn't drinking on that flight though but even if i was i wouldn't i i i wouldn't well no uh you give me a couple titos and soda if i'm remember i that was sitting next to the manager the next game guy hammered started fucking talking to the dude. I ran into Jonathan Banks that,

Oh my God, that was one of the most embarrassing things ever. Me and Verzi had this great fucking run. We go, we go to the Kentucky Derby. We're having a great time. And somebody there gave us four roses, four roses.

And we, we didn't know that you could, you could check the bottle. So we felt bad. We're like, dude, this guy went out, he spent all this money. We got to drink this thing. So we order a couple of somethings and we didn't know that you could check the bottle, so we felt bad. We're like, dude, this guy went out. He spent all this money.

We got to drink this thing, so we order a couple of somethings, and we get these big fucking Solo cups at the Indianapolis airport, and we start crushing, sneaking, crushing an open bottle of bourbon in the fucking food court. Yeah, and we killed half that thing waiting for our flight.

Fucking hammered, and I get on the flight who's on the flight jonathan banks uh and i came walking up my guy hey john i play kooby on break a bat he didn't notice i was hammered at first and he was calling me Kubi like oh hey Kubi nice to meet you and I was just like I'll let it go and then he came up to me afterwards he wanted to talk to me I just kept looking I'm going you're a sweetheart you're a sweetheart and then he got that look on his face you know when you know you're talking to somebody drunk and I remember like like either later on in the it was after the flight i just remember coming to just being like oh my god i'm never gonna get on that show again oh that's so funny i ran into him i

talked to him about it he was laughing i was like dude the last time i talked to you i was so fucking hammered and i told him the whole story and he was cracking up and he's such a good guy he acted oh i didn't even notice i was like dude you absolutely noticed you just you are a sweetheart you are a funny guy dude i was fucking well you know what i did you went you went on that plane and you sat next to jonathan banks i was hammered and i went to the bar because my flight was another hour and dude i started drinking talking to this stranger about sports and then i kept drinking on the plane, dude. And I got fucking obliterated, dude.

Yeah. What's the drunkest you've been on a flight? I was coming back from years and years ago. I opened for you at the Addison Improv and I was at the Dallas airport. I left a jacket, I think. And I just got on. I left a hat. I was fucking hammered no wait what about when we toured canada we toured canada and i had a night the last night and i had to pour

you into that fucking car to make sure you'd make it and i started to tell the guy at the lobby that i was a an athlete going to sochi for the Olympics. And he clearly knew that I was drunk and you just, you had to like, be like, Oh, you were the ugly American there. No, we were in that cigar bar with that fucking great, crazy guy. We met there just an awesome guy. I forget his name. He's a fucking great guy, but he was, you know, lunatic, right? Yeah. Calgary, Calgary, Calgary, they're fucking animals down there man those people fucking drink they get after it right um so when we uh we weren't in a cigar bar by the way we were in a cigar we were in a private but they took remember we were in some downstairs like somebody

playing cards or no we just smoked that night cars was in toronto yeah we just smoked a guy had a guy had a cowboy hat on and then we started talking and then me and you both got hammered and i remember me and you got into a yelling match because of something that like the taliban when they were like doing something online and i go they shouldn't did you go yeah and we just started yelling and you know what's funny paul and now i don't drink what's the last time we yelled at each other oh no yeah no it just doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, it was all me.

Just fucking misdirected and hammered. But I just remembered you started hiccuping in the cigar bar. And I was like, oh, Paul's going over the side. This isn't good. And you had a fucking early flight. Yeah. And you were just like, I just want to lay down here. I just want to, okay, I just like lay down here.

I'm like, Paul, we got to go up to the room. We got to get your bags, and I'll bring you down here because you had like some, like, the whole night was like you had like a 4 a.m. pickup or something. Yeah. So I was like, no, no, it's only 10. I can say, you know, get him right home. We'll get like five hours.

He'll be good. Then it's like 11, and then all of a sudden you're just like, all right, and I'll sleep on the plane. Oh, I'm just going to sleep on the plane. I kept fucking drinking. And once you started hiccuping, I'll sleep on the plane. I'm just going to sleep on the plane. I kept fucking drinking. And once you started hiccuping, I was like, all right. Yeah. That's a telltale, hiccups.

Yeah. If I start hiccuping. And it's also a bad thing to go through customs shit-faced. Yeah. I always say, you have to pass through, like, do you have to pass through Canadian customs and then American customs when you leave? Yeah, they stamp you leave i always forget how that works yeah but dude i i remember like holding my breath because i probably smelled i remember like going through it and just

being yeah dude i was there's nothing worse is there anything worse than being on an airplane drunk and wake uh dude five o'clock in the morning feeling like shit it's brutal dude i got one for you i fucking was in hawaii and i i was watching the big lebowski and he was drinking white russians so i just started drinking him like that's the only time i drink white russians is when i watch the big lebowski and it's like it's like drinking a dessert and getting it's like having a dessert and getting shit face at the same time which is really bad right brutal hangover so i woke up the next day and i didn't feel good and my wife you know she obviously likes the sun i obviously am not into it so uh she goes i just want to go down the beach one more time you know

beach people just want to get that one last toes in the sand frolic in the surf so i said i'm fine so i go there and they got this bar and you know the roof looks like the the huts on gilligan's island so i go up there dude and at like nine in the morning i order a fucking white russian oh and it just went down and i ordered another one i had like three of them on the beach so i got a good oh gross you know sugar through the roof i got a glow and a sugar buzz going we get to the airport. I drank like fucking three more. My wife's going,

what the fuck are you doing? It's like, yeah, I just want to pass out on the plate. I don't want to fucking deal with this. Dude. I was so shit faced. I hit up three Canadian comedians and convinced all of us that we need to put

together a curling team and join a league. And they all got so fucking excited. Like they were all about it. And I don't even remember doing it. Oh, God. And then we landed, dude. And I had like the, you know, because the air quality and you're all dehydrated from flying at that altitude.

And I had six white Russians in me, dude. And when I landed, I was just like was just like oh no i had worse ones i remember one time i was so shit face on the plane i started talking to somebody at baggage claim and he ended up giving me a ride home from lax and my wife was on her way down to get me wow oh she was so fucking mad at me. Wow, dude. That is next level. Yep. Wow. I did that twice. Once Burbank and once LAX.

And I swear to God, my wife was so. She's like, where are you? I'm like, I just pulled up. The fuck do you mean you just pulled up? said it was coming down to get you and i said i i guess i forgot oh my god dude she came in dude and then i passed out which felt like five minutes but it was like you know like whatever it takes like a half hour for us to get to the airport half hour later i just hit the front door just go boom like slam shut and i'm like uh here we go oh here we go and then i had a like bleary eyed look at her and act like i will i understand i hear what you're saying you're right i shouldn't have done that yeah look at you who drove you home

yeah i meant it baggage claim you can't have some fucking straight she was right no she's definitely right dude my wife would have done the same thing it's so oh yeah no i i did uh i did a couple of dumb things like that wow i never really thought about that it is a good thing i quit drinking see the thing with me is and i was talking to stacy about this stacy goes she goes I've been, I was sober for about two weeks and I felt incredible, man. I was waking up, I was doing shit. I wasn't zero hungover. And my wife just goes, I go, I can have,

I'm going to just have one, you know? And, and, and she goes, yeah, she goes, enjoy one or two. She goes, but she goes, you tend to, she goes, you tend to not stop. And I, and that's the thing. It's like, if I'm fucking chilling out dude it's tough man like but it's i don't change personality you've seen me i don't change like i don't get angry i don't start with people i don't want i just get no no no you you are you are a happy drunk

yeah i just get generally speaking i'm a happy drunk unless certain sporting events or fans of certain teams came in. And then that would be something that would set me off. But I don't like, dude, looking at that drunk-ass Seattle fan at the fucking Packers game. Dude, he was an idiot. He was just going like, fuck you, fuck you, Packers. Suck a dick, suck a dick. And it was just like there was kids around. It was just like, are you doing like a dick. Suck a dick. And it was just like there was kids around. It was just like.

Yeah. I was like, are you doing like a parody of somebody drunk? No. Me and you spoke about that, Bill. And I got to be honest with you, man. I'm not really going to go to too many more NFL games. I'm not going to subject my kids to that. Last time I was there with like my brother and kids, there's this cowboy fan standing over us. And he was like doing like the lean over and like yelling. And it's like, you got to be like, Hey man, like,

do you mind? And then they start cursing the, you sent me that fight with the jets in Miami. It's like a guy pushed you to that, that fucking dolphin fence with his hands in his pocket, slipping that haymaker. Yeah. I don't need to be around that, dude. I got a 70-inch. I'll fucking put my feet up. I'll have some snacks, and I'll watch the game like that, dude. I'll go occasionally. I just, those people, they're not even sports fans.

Like, I don't even know what they are. It's just like they just, they had a poor upbringing. They weren't raised right. They don't even understand the game it's just like they just go there to be assholes um and to go with an opposing jersey and be an asshole that's a special kind of that's like you're going for like to put on an opposing jersey and be the guy yelling when you're completely outnumbered. That's not something that you want.

Oh, dude, Jay-Z said the dopest shit I ever heard. Jay-Z goes like this. Jay-Z goes, those guys. He goes, when somebody says, what are you looking at me? Why the fuck are you looking at me? He goes, that guy is so afraid and so unhappy in his life. And he thinks that when you look at him, you see it. So he wants to fucking fight you. Do he broke it down like this? He goes, so you're going to kill

me or fight me because I'm looking at you and I see the fucking pain and your fear and shit. He goes, and that's why that guy's doing that. And I was just like, dude, to get that deep over that. I was like, shit. Yeah. I don't think football fans are that deep i think he was talking about guys you know yeah he was yeah situations in his neighborhood some guys i mean they're just jerk offs they some of these guys that go to the game you know all those philly fans how they come up and they just they don't care if your kids are there and they're like proud of it and stuff it's just like yeah yeah it's like the weakest thing i remember to a bruins flyers game and i like, yeah, it's like the weakest thing. I remember to a Bruins Flyers game and I had my mother there.

She's like in her seventies and the guys are just cursing up a fucking storm and stuff. And it's just like, what am I? Like, what am I? I'm going to fight you with my 70 year old mother. And it's just one of those things. You give them a look and they're like, and you hear him talking, ooh, he doesn't like us.

And it's just like, I don't know. I look at that stuff like that's hear him talking oh he doesn't like us and it's just like i don't know i look at that stuff like that's it's just it's weak it's weak you know what i mean it's not it doesn't take any balls to go in and do shit like that and then it's you're just putting people into a situation where i gotta sit there and be like i have all of this stuff to lose yeah so i'm just gonna sit here and now i paid all this money for a ticket and i gotta listen to you guys you know because your lives suck or whatever the fuck's going on in your life that you would do something like that like i like going to a stadium i'll talk some shit and have a good back and forth with somebody yeah and you know like that but i'm not

i don't want to go there and actually ruin like that Seattle fan. I was like, I can't believe I'm finally at Lambeau and I have to stand next to this fucking jerk off. And it's actually going to ruin my experience. I might never get back to Lambeau again. But people who act like that are like, oh, that's awesome. Bowfinger. That's so awesome. Like that's literally what they want to do. And that's in a perfect world. You could just beat the fuck out of them and you wouldn't get sued,

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All right. Yeah, a couple of steaks, Paul. 14, what is that? 24 steaks a year. You get a box a month. All right. Manscaped, everybody. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. That's what I'm supposed to say. I thought you were doing Rodney Dangerfield. Ho, ho, ho. I'll tell you it was a rough one. Ho, ho, ho, gentlemen. The holiday came early here at Manscaped. The leading men's hygiene brand, Manscaped,

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All right, everybody. It's Roman. Oh, it's that time of year. Oh, it's that time of year to get a rager with your girl or whoever next to the fire. You got to punch through that blanket of year. Oh, it's that time of year to get a rager with your girl or whoever next to the fire. You got to punch through that blanket of snow, Paul. You wanted to put a star on top of your helmet here. What are we doing?

When the moment for intimacy arrives, you need to be ready. For all our Jewish fans, when it's time to light that first candle, you got to be ready you need to be roman fans when it's time to light that first candle you gotta be ready you gotta be roman ready you gotta be roman ready whether you've been in a relationship for years or you're just getting started having the confidence that comes from preparation means you're free to enjoy the moment when the moment comes. That's right. You want to pull it out with that action hero look on your face.

Yeah, you don't want a halfie. You want a full-fledged rock. That's right. You want a rager. You want to show her you're still committed to this relationship, the spider behavior this year. You've got to break a window with the thing uh even though you are far from far from ordinary the truth that ed is really common in fact 52 percent of guys

ages 40 to 70 experience some form i love 70 who's still banging at 70 jesus christ buddy hang up the cleats dude clint eastwood had a fucking baby at 73 guy was crushing it you know it's funny the kids probably like 25 now dude him and mick jagger are ridiculous oh they keep going um go get roman uh go to roman.com slash better now to uh to speak to a u.s licensed healthcare professional about erectile dysfunction and get $15 off your first month of treatment. Erectile dysfunction is more common than most people think. In fact, 52% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 will experience some form. Can you imagine being a professional in this, Paul? What's that? An erectile dysfunctional professional?

Like the lack of eye contact during the day would really start to make you feel bad about yourself. Talking to his therapist, I mean, I'm here to help. You know? People staring down at the floor. A 55-year-old guy call you up and be like, yeah, man, it's still fucking limp. It's like, all right, man, hang in there.

It's not real. I mean, spongy, spongy. You know what I mean? It's like, it's a nerf dick. There's still a shape, you know, I'm a positive bullseye. It starts to bend. I'm a positive guy.

I'd be like, come on, hang in there, man. Hang in there. Oh my God, dude. Anyway, Roman ready is confidence personified. It is a self-assurance that comes from knowing you've prepared yourself for the moment when intimacy arrives. The whole process is straightforward. Hey, that's what she said sorry uh confidence and discreet uh getting started running down the hill like william wallace some blue stripes on the shirt his little scottish skirts on he's got half his dick painted. Yeah, the skirt covers up your balls.

You put a little sword or toothpick next to your dick. All right, I'm sorry. This is why nobody goes to the doctor for ED. Women never laugh about their vaginas. The shit is serious. Come on, Paul. Let's pull it together. All right.

Getting started is simple. Just go to Roman.com slash better and complete the online visit. Take care of your ED without leaving your home. Complete an online visit today to connect with the U S licensed healthcare professional and take care of it. Go, go to, uh, go get roman.com slash better, uh, today. And if you're, if you're prescribed, get a $15 off your first month of ed treatment, make sure you're ready to have confidence and control this fall. Roman ready, ready. That's and control this fall. Roman, ready.

Ready. That's right. Oh, man, dude. You're getting me riled up right now. I was at Madison Square Garden with Stacy. She was five months pregnant with Lucas. And we're up on like the mezzanine, like the low. And they fucking shoot a T-shirt.

And it literally, literally hits my hands i catch it and this guy bumps into my pregnant wife and me and knocks the t-shirt out of my hand in the front dude and i'm looking and everyone around and i just fucking i was seething and i was like mother i was like i forgot what i said and then people around were like calm down and i was just looking at this dude and his friend was mortified and i'm like like, all right, I'm going to punch this dude in the foot when he, like, I wanted to punch him in the face off the thing, but Stacy was there. And guys, I calmed down, everyone calmed down, dude. And I was just, and then like five, 10 minutes later,

he leaned up and like tapped Stacy's lower leg and like, kind of gave like, I'm sorry. Like that was his way. But like me and him had this thing and then like we I dude it was it was like I'll go to a game with you Bill I'll go to a game with you Andrew we go to a game us four go to a game because then I'm like if I get drunk if something happens I got my boys but bring in my children or my wife or family like you said your 70 year old mother dude I can't have some fat fuck in a fuckingansas city jersey yelling and doing that dude can't yeah it's kind of on the team though what are you doing shooting free t-shirts into

the fucking crowd i mean just what are you doing everybody that's what's gonna happen yeah people go too crazy over a t-shirt guys Guys pointing up and they're like, yeah, bring it up here. It's like, go buy it. I always yell. I always yell. It's just a T-shirt. They're $8. Calm down. Have some self-esteem.

I'll buy you one. Sit down. Yeah. It's not a keys to a Lexus. What's up, Andrew? No, I was going to say in college they asked my buddy to do that. And so what he would do is he would lob one up. And then so people would like slowly go up.

And then he'd fire a seed, just a rope right at somebody's chest. And he would just say it was the best way to deal with that. Because you'd hold it up and people would cheer. Bill, remember we were at the this me and bill go to the seattle seahawks which by the way it was so incredibly loud that there was no way it was real they had babies them just sitting there talking before the game was so fucking loud it was just like yeah i never felt like that but then all of a sudden nobody was screaming people were just like talking.

It was just like, this feels like someone just cranked the volume up. It did. It did. And then we're sitting there. And me and Bill are like, all right, dude. Let's bet me and Bill are like, all right. So me and Bill take the Seattle. We take Seattle.

We take a little action with Seattle. And this fat dude sitting up there had a Kansas City Chiefs. And he goes, Seattle CB. Yeah. We were like, Oh no, he knows we lost that bet. Yeah.

Yeah. It was, uh, no, man, I don't like that vibe. I don't like the drunk vibe. I don't like the vibe. Remember me and you went to jets Buffalo.

A guy pushed you in the back because you had a fuck. I just don't. That's what gets me. It's like, it's back because you had a fuck. I just don't. That's what gets me. It's like it's no reason for that, man. I'm too old for it. Yeah, way too old. Way too old.

You know, that's a young kid's game. It's a young kid's game. What about that guy, sons and six, sons and five, whatever the hell he was saying. The guy, he fucking, he turned around and he goes, what, sons and four. I forget what the fuck he said. I think he said sons and six. Sons and six. The kid starts swinging.

He beats the fuck out of both of them. And then he bookends it with sons and six. He said it again. I mean, that's just like the greatest thing. What's the drunkest? I got one for you. Drunkest I've ever seen at a game. I was at Jets Patriots at the highest seat on the it was the highest it could be freezing my wife's family

got us tickets or whatever we're bundled up we're fucking freezing it's a night game maybe a sunday night game we're freezing and a dude a dude and and when you're that high up there's a concrete ledge i saw a dude a jets fan he was face down and his body would just go and as his body would do that he was spewing he was just he was he was just spewing puke and his body and he was just he was just dude he was laying on passed out and he would just go and you just saw puke coming out dude and i just looked over and i was like dude that guy dude i've never seen anything like it man in public like that it was the closest i ever saw something like that um it was one in the afternoon i was on bourbon street with my wife because she wanted to go there. I'm like, I'm telling you, it's a shit show.

It is. Nobody from New Orleans goes down there unless they work there. But it is just they got to hose the fucking street down every day. It is just a shit show of people that cannot handle their alcohol. Right. So we went there during the day. There was some band playing. I was dancing with my wife was in a silly mood.

So she was loving. We're having a great time. There was some band playing. I was dancing with my wife. I was in a silly mood, so she was loving it. We were having a great time. And all of a sudden, I see this woman with these two guys, like just movie drunk, just staggering down the fucking street. She's fucking just a lake of puke.

At 1 in the afternoon, comes flying out of her. She ends up slipping and falling in her own puke. Just lands in it. And then is trying to pick herself up they're all trying and i i was my wife almost puked and i was just fucking crying laughing going i told you i told you all you know what's amazing about bourbon street if you go one street over either way either way it is just it's it's beautiful yeah it's funny as you're walking down the block you just look up here ah yeah fucking up on bourbon street and then you you just get behind the buildings again it is just it is a fucking shit show i hate street street i hate i hate bourbon street i love new orleansbon Street. You know what they should do?

They should put out a fucking thing that it just tells you like, this is just a jerk-off tourist area. You go to Dublin, Ireland, Temple Bar. Jerk-off. That's where all the... You gotta go to

Temple Bar. You come over here. Dude, you went to Dublin? Dude, you go to Temple Bar? It's like, you went to dublin dude you go to temple bar it's like no i didn't what's temple bar it's some stupid fucking bar that you're in ireland yeah don't you want to go drink with irish people no let me go into fucking temple bar and i'll talk to some guy from fucking you know cleveland or some guy like hey i'm in here from georgia it's just like i could do this in my country yeah i just went the i was on stage over there going like where the fuck should i really go because i know it's not temple bar and they all you know they were laughing of course they're irish they wouldn't fucking tell me but afterwards a couple people gave me the heads up uh that was a funny fucking that was a funny crowd i remember i i was talking about that haircut your wife gets you know after she's had a couple of kids you know i was calling it the real estate

agent and at the end of the end of the fucking bangs this woman came running came up to the table like standing in line like she was gonna buy something and she just leaned she she just leaned and she goes was this the haircut. She goes, was this the hard cut you were talking about? She had the haircut. Is anything funny? She wasn't older. She had the shirt. I don't know if she was gay or whatever, but she had the really shirt. She was, was this the hard cut you were talking about?

And I totally applaud. I was like, oh, Nami looks good on you. I wish I went like, yes, that was the hard cut i was talking about i just wasn't ready for it is anything funnier than a hardcore irish accent from ireland dude it is they are the nicest toughest you know and i love how they say i tweeted something i go they could be the toughest people but they say me mom me money me money just made me like connor mcgregor was like mommy no like me me money like they owe me money oh they don't say my they say me oh like me mama me me me pa they talk about that yeah dude oh my dad i can't remember i have to be over there to kind of

hear because it all sounds the fucking same to me after a while english irish scottish is the only one i'm like okay that guy's from scotland because you literally can't understand a fucking word they're saying dude conor mcgregor is pretty fucking thick dude like if you hear him talk you could understand it's going fast yeah you can't hear him dude i went one time me i played uh Me, I played, I think I was in Glasgow. I had this great fucking show. And I was psyched, you know. Because, you know, that's a tough crowd, man. Those guys are funny as hell and they're fucking lunatics, right? So I was really happy I had a good show.

And then I went to the local comedy club. And there was this guy on stage absolutely fucking destroying and we could not understand a word he was saying and we were crying laughing because we couldn't understand anything so me and me were just looking at each other we just started laughing and the more he was killing the harder we were laughing and we looked like we understood what he was saying like we were just it was just one of those great laughs i had with my wife and um the other thing was the tag was just toughen up you wee cunt that's all i remember he's talking about some kid you're weak cunt uh the killing is so funny you don't hear you don't understand anything and then the crowd pops up that's uh that's that classic

fucking trip i always tell that story when that guy picked me up and he goes i was like what he was like, what? He was like, Bull or Willem? I said, I don't know. What? He goes, you prefer Bull or Willem? And I said, oh, Bill. And he goes, Bull, let's go. He was saying Bill or William. Bull or Willem?

Where was he from? What country was that? That was Scotland. And I was doing a little run up there so this was like in it wasn't glasgow or edinburgh it was a smaller place than that so the accent was even thicker and i just was sitting there like he was just walking balla walla was he walking i don't know what the fuck this is i wasn't with i was by myself and i was just like i don't know where the fuck i am right now but if if everybody talks like him, I'm going to bomb tonight. And he's just driving.

Oh, bull. Oh, bull. And I was just like, yeah, I know. I was just like, fuck. I remember performing in Germany. I remember performing in Germany, and we always had, oh, my God, dude, I haven't worked with you on the road. I haven't opened for you this January's four years. How crazy is that? But

anyway, when we were in Germany together, we always had the same- You demanded a trade, Paul. You wanted to go start somewhere else. You knew that I wasn't giving up the seat. No, no, no. You put Jimmy G on me. I remember we always had the same experience. So you would go. And I remember one time, I don't know where we were. We didn't have a hard time, but it was one of those things where like, I would be like, dude, they, they, they watched me like this.

And I'm going, oh my God, dude, I'm bombing. I'm bombing. I'm bombing. I'm bombing. And then all of a sudden the bit would be over and they were just, it was like, so it was like the bit. No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't Germany. Is that Estonia? Yeah. Or, or, or Latvia. One of those, because they said, and then, and then they tell me in the green room, the guy goes, Barang, he goes, Hey, just so you know, he goes, comedy is only

eight years old here. Standup comedy is only eight years old here. So I go in this theater and they're all dressed like it's a Broadway play and they're all sitting there and I'm going through this bit and they're watching it and then they looked at it like it was a movie scene and then when the scene was over, they would go. Dude, it was so weird. They're very analytical. Yes.

Very smart. Helsinki was like that. was the one helsinki i was just fucking bombing and i couldn't figure out why i was just like oh i've gone too far east like they don't i'm talking too fast i started slowing down i was only getting a little bit of laughs and then this guy was in the back and he just, after I finished the joke, he was just like, well, why didn't you just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, oh, is that what you guys are trying to do? Are you trying to, you don't need to figure out solutions. Yeah.

These are just jokes. And then that's how I killed. I would just tell a joke. It wouldn't get a laugh. And I will invite it. Would you get another bicycle? I would just like do their logic about whatever I was talking about. There's so much.

But dude, when we did Budapest, it was like America. Dude, Budapest, Hungary, America. It was like being, it was nuts. So great. They were funny as hell. Budapest had great sense of humor. Vienna. How great was that?

Dude, I saw somebody. I saw somebody in Pennsylvaniasylvania and they go dude paul i go i saw you performing and i go where he goes i saw you in austria and i was like what he was like that fucking room was amazing i was like yeah my room was amazing yeah germany they're too like they're too technical they're just like they were just like looking at trying to dissect it no germany was uh cologne was fun yeah it was frankfurt was a little bit was the weird one yeah they were just like no i just think they were like eggheads they were just super fucking smart berlin was awesome yeah warsaw poland was ours i'll do that they were fun dude i i call that middle of middle america of like europe

warsaw budapest prague yeah and uh vienna man they were just like funny shit talking breaking your balls they were they were funny uh funny people in germany was just like you know but what's great with them all you gotta to do is bring up Hitler and then they just start laughing. You just, I mean, you could just crush with that. Not like, you know, they're down with the guy. They're just like, I mean, what are you going to do? Of all the fucking places, he had to be from there. And now that was like, you know, almost 80 years ago.

And they're still living with it. That was a joke I was doing. I go, you poor bastards. I go, everything that you guys done, you know, the audio tape, what you've done with the car, you know, uh, um, aviation space, you pick one wrong guy. That's all you're known for. Oh, by the way, the woman, the woman that ran like a dog, which by the way, everybody, we, we appreciate all the kind words. We're glad that, that, that the podcast, that thing, dude, that thing went big, but apparently that woman, and by the way, thank you guys for everybody

listening to anything better and please get anything better. Spotify, iTunes, wherever you get your podcasts and please continue with the subscriptions to the YouTube page, comments and reviews. It helps the show grow. But that woman is from Norway. And here's the backstory to it. I found out, I found out some homework. So that woman that runs like a dog jumps over tables. Apparently when she was four years old, she got her first dog, fell in love with it and started to mimic it. And then it just got better and better. And she fell in love with dogs. And she's like, so that was like, I think she's in her thirties. She was from four years old doing that, but she's from Norway. All right.

I, somebody sent me her Instagram account. She has an Instagram account and it's her doing other things. And then occasionally leaping over shit the way she would, she really broke down like a horse or a dog yeah the fact the fact that she hasn't injured her i mean i'm sure but like the fact that she does it with like the way she can brace it like with the shocks of her arms is really amazing dude i was trying to think she kind of goes like right as it hits the shoulder she gets the other one in there and then her back legs come down yeah i mean and launches her forward dude i don't know

it's the last episode if you want to see it it's really one of the weirder things yeah no it was it was it was so funny but what was funny and i think what people liked about it was you were looking at it like you were doing that you were breaking it i'm crying i'm fucking crying and you were going like this is interesting and i think that's what made people andrew and i were crying and bill's just going that's amazing because she was so good at it she was just so fucking good at it i was just like i i i thought she was going to do it and it was going to be funny because she didn't look she actually looked like she was going to do it and it was going to be funny because she didn't look she actually looked like she was supposed to be moving that way other than her ass being way up

in the air well dude her and her fiance her fiance does it and they fucking run together it's fucking not amazing so everybody out there if you're looking for love just know that there's somebody out there for you i'm kidding by the way oh you are oh man i was thinking it was gonna be nice and romantic no no dude could you imagine seeing a couple doing that in a park be like that'd be like dude that'd be fucking weird dude um that would be even weirder i'll do it if like i'm gonna be honest with you though what do you think scary a psycho dude or a psycho woman? I mean, it's not even close.

It's a woman. I mean, it's been proven through all the crime things. Women's passion. Dude, that one woman stabbed her husband 96 times because she was afraid he would get up and stuff. Like when a woman, I mean, I'm not trying to be sexist here, but men like kick the women off the cliff. When a man kills a woman. woman sorry when a woman kills a man a man is like a lot of the crime shows that i've seen the guy goes hiking kicks her off a cliff a guy you know it'll be like two in the fucking head a woman it's why don't they just break up

with them women poison just give them half your stuff you're gonna get caught yeah dude you're gonna get caught you're gonna get caught was poisoning him slowly one of them women was poisoning and slowly poisoning and shit so that's like a dude is just i'm not i'm sure there are some sick dudes that do shit but from what i've seen women go a little more passionate a little more i just feel like a psycho guy is you sort of expect that you know what i mean you expect them to be like you know like these idiots at games and stuff just sort of rant you know ratchet it up a little bit like but a psycho fucking woman it's like you know i don't you don't know how to come at it i don't know i find i find them like when i watch movies, I always find that if it's a woman

crazy person, uh, I think, I feel like they take the time to write it better. Or if it's a guy, it's a guy, he can punch through the wall and fucking stab you with a machete and just sort of becomes like a slasher flick. But if there's like a woman killer killer they build this whole fucking backstory and they just they scare the shit out of you i fucking hate scary movies dude not into that at all no uh i don't know you watched all those slasher films during uh halloween i watched all the slasher films but now i'm i'm into like um you know i'm into I like stuff based on, you know, what I got into was Mexico Narcos, the the the narco like the El Chapo characters and stuff. I can't I can't watch

what they do to each other. And they'll fucking they'll torture somebody's kid to death. They are just like no holds barred, man. I can't like seeing that level of evil in humanity and then knowing that we're sort of a part of that because of the way we live. Other people have to live a different way. And it's just is what it is. You know, people say that's some fucking communist shit. But I mean, it's how it works. You look at that fucking guy built that 500 million dollar house, all that space for everybody. And then the guest house is 5 000 square feet with

infinity pool and he's got like six fucking pools they have one pool and then underneath the guest house on into the fucking hill he's just walking down the hall tiny room tiny room tiny room tiny room you get you know this is where all the help was going to stay you get four people in each of these rooms just stacking them up like fucking firewood all right bill let me ask you a question if you had jeff bezos if you had like if you had like 190 billion something like that like money that's just infinite would you do so i would i know exactly what i would do i would become the black friday santa claus what's the go down to fucking Walmart. I'd pick a Walmart every year and be like, congratulations,

Bill Bezos is here. And then what would you do? You don't need to trample anybody. Just tell me what you want and I will buy all of it. You'd be in a Santa costume? Yeah, Walmart is cheap fucks. They got an 80-year-old security guard in there

that I want to see make it to 81. What do you guys want? Would you buy a spaceship or something like that? Would you go to space or do something like that? Nope. I would have a 77 Ford F-250 Highboy. Ford F-250 Highboy. I got a buddy of mine that makes,

he makes his own custom F-100s with all the brand new shit, with like that, those coilover springs, so you feel like you're riding in a Cadillac, no leaf springs. Bill, you have $190 billion, dude. That's not even a... Well, let me have fun with it. You could go real fun, though.

No, no, I would just buy myself a couple of cool old trucks right and then I would just I'd fucking help people out I would like pick a fucking neighborhood yeah and be like don't tell anybody I'm redoing all your houses

alright and all your kids have to do is study and I'm gonna I'm gonna put them through college and we're getting you out of here or you can come back and you can redo a street with me because that's the only way you're going to turn around those neighborhoods is regular people they got to fucking help out because the government is just too tied in with the oil companies and the fucking bankers and all of that shit so that's what i would do yeah yeah i would like go down one of those battered women's shelters and just get them out of there because you know their fucking psycho boyfriends are still driving by the

the shelter they're still living in fear well you got to find out what the woman did first oh jesus paul i'm joking um jesus i would do shit like that what's the point of making money if you're not gonna help people out i'm just gonna hoard all of it dude i got like you like this sweatsuit i got every fucking color they got some nikes to match it that's stupid that's it's a dumbest fucking thing i don't know whatever whatever makes you happy i guess i would do shit like that and i i would uh yeah if i had it because then i wouldn't have to work dude and then you're just showing up every day like ed mcmahon with that giant check but i would try to educate people like listen i'm not just gonna give you this money. All right.

And you're going to buy a bunch of shiny shit and fucking take pictures on Instagram. You're going to be broken 18 months. Yeah. Teach them how to get the fuck out of there. And, um, I think you could,

uh, like, dude, I saw so many fucking comedians back when comedians got deals. Oh my God. The dumb shit that they would go out and buy the smart ones you've seen what's the dumbest shit you've seen i knew a guy that fucking literally did the coming to america thing where he fixed up his own fucking apartment that he was

renting put new floors and everything in and the fucking lady came in and jacked his rent up times three and then he eventually ran out of money and he had to leave and i think she might have moved into the apartment wow i swear to god you wouldn't think someone would be that dumb and he used to say shit he's not around anymore but he used to say you know rest is so yeah rest so you say you know i came for money i understand money and shit and then i watched him i used to give him shit because he would be on stage uh talking about how hard it was for him in the business because he wasn't white right this isn't patrice by the way it was somebody else and he was sitting there one night doing it and he had on like a fucking waist-length

mink that had a hood hoodie and he he had this diamond-encrusted Jesus piece, and then he had this sick-ass truck out front. And I went on stage, and I just started trashing him, and he was laughing his ass off. I go, only in America can you sit here wearing a fucking mink coat with a diamond of your phone fucking face on it pulling up in a fucking lexus and i gotta listen to you bitching that this business is fucking you over uh he was cool as shit he laughed about it or whatever but um yeah yeah um michael strahan

and another celebrity are going up in jeffrey bezos's rocket to do the thing that uh you know william shatner did and i'm thinking to myself i'm going that thing's had three flights that thing has had three flights dude and has experimental aircraft written all over it that is not made by any sort of a company no oh my god dude dude fuel like that's just not fucking smart dude like once that poor teacher went up and died in the space shuttle it's just not fucking smart, dude. Dude, once that poor teacher went up and died in the space shuttle, it's just like, yeah, man, I'm not cut out for that shit. No, no.

But I understand why people want to do it, because I got to tell you something, man. If you survive that, if you survive that feeling, what that thrust feels going up, dude, and then also, like, I remember hearing this aviation story, right? Where I guess, I mean, I don't fly high enough to even know that this exists, but there's a big ego thing where you'll call and you do an altitude check. You're acting like you're checking to see if your altimeter is reading accurately, but

you're really showing everybody else who's listening to how high you're flying. Yeah. It's kind of a, I remember reading the article. I forget why it's kind of a douchey thing to do. So somebody does it and somebody hears it and they're flying higher. So they sit, so then they do an altitude check. And then there was some guy in a fucking F 18 that was flying at like fucking 40,000 something feet. And he did it. So everybody's sort of laughing. And then someone was in a stealth bomber. These two guys were in the fucking stealth bomber

and did an altitude check. And they were like at like, I don't know, 70, 80, 90,000 feet, right? It was sort of this quick little, you know, funny aviation story. But those guys fly so fucking high that like when they're flying over St. Louis, they can actually see the ocean,

this Pacific ocean and like LA. And you can like see the clusters of buildings. Wow. You're flying like there's Denver, there's Salt Lake city, there's Vegas, there's LA. I mean like that level high. So like when they did, when they do their flight, like I have a flight that I do, you know, if I don't want to be rusty or I just kind of go out and I fly like a big sort of squared circle thing that I do. And this is just over like the L.A. basin. And then I come back and land. These fucking guys fly from St. Louis to L.A. up to Seattle,

like to Minneapolis and back down. And they do it in like I think about the amount of time it takes for me to do my little thing, like how fast that thing is flying and how they go, let's just take it for a spin around the block. And they just, that's fucking amazing. Yeah. So to experience that would be,

well, that's what William Shatner said. William Shatner said, going from seeing all the blue, he was crying. He was actually like, dude, that was like, he said, it's just blue, blue, blue. And then all of a sudden quiet black in an instant. And he said, it was like one of, he's like everybody in the world. I wish we could feel that and stuff. But you know, when you go up three times, man, that fuel and stuff like that man that's just not that's not and like you said that's not nasa that's some fucking rich guy who has scientists build some shit fuck that i'm afraid to fly to florida yeah i'm not doing that they're going up in a delorean now nasa actually you uses a lot of

the same they buy a lot of the same stuff so like it's all manufactured so what does he got he got one of his hot rod friends putting it together like who's putting it together I know he's smart there's no way he didn't ask these questions yeah so who's putting it some NASA guy

are you gonna get the guy who had a turn in his badge at NASA because he was saying too much crazy shit and now he's the rebel guy. He's got me too. Now he's working fucking as an independent contractor. I was too crazy for NASA, man.

They couldn't handle me. I'm a rebel, dude. I'm working for myself. Where do you want to go? You want to go to Mars? I can fucking make it happen. You bankroll me. I will build you something. Where do you want to go? You want to go to Mars? I can fucking make it happen. You bankroll me. I will build you something. I will put you on Mars. I'll send everybody to fucking Mars. He's Italian.

I'll send everybody to fucking Mars. Where do you want to go? I think I give a fuck. I'll fuck it. Those guys at NASA are afraid of me. That's all it is. Dude, I saw it. I saw it in the guy's face.

I saw it. So I was just like, you know what? You guys all can relax here at NASA. I'm going to leave and I'm going to start my own shit. And guess what? I'm going to bury you guys. The president's going to be fucking calling me. All right?

You're going to wish you never fired me. Chris Rock and Michael Schmied call on you motherfuckers? I don't think they are. He's like Jerry Magire with a box all i want to know is who's coming with me yeah who's coming with um all right dude i got another podcast here coming up i gotta i gotta go grab some lunch here me too i got it me too I got something to promote F is for Family the final season

season 5 November 25th sit down watch it thank you to everybody that watched it over the years I cannot thank the fans enough it was an unbelievable ride I met so many great people and I learned so much about writing comedy editing

directing the whole thing. So it was a priceless. Thank you, everybody. Come on, Netflix, everybody. And the great Mike Price, of course. And David Richardson, rest in peace. And Mark Wilmore, rest in peace. I got to name everybody now.

Whatever. Just thank you to everybody. Thank you, everybody. Please sit down and and watch it i'm very proud of it um berzy will be at i will be at the stress factory in bridgeport connecticut thanksgiving weekend this weekend two shows friday the 26th two shows saturday the 27th and then my last show of the year is at the parks casino, uh, on December 2nd and, uh, tickets will be available for that on my, uh, on my website. So, uh, come out to Bridgeport this weekend, get some tickets and, um, any brand stress factory,

any brand stress factory. Oh, Vinnie, you're so fine. You're so fine. You blow my mind. Hey Vinnie. And beautiful Bridgeport, Connecticut. Beautiful. It'd be a little nicer if Vinny wasn't there let's be honest go to uh go check out the Monday morning podcast the Verzi effect YouTube channels is going to be on my podcast one of these days is he yeah he has a special Paul no he's not coming on mine he's so uh enjoy him on bills um anyway guys this is we love vinnie brand this has been episode number 43 enjoy happy thanksgiving everybody safe happy healthy one and we will see you next week. Thank you.