anything goes with emma chamberlain - a happy & healthy life

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

Who doesn’t want to be happy? There are a lot of things in life that can get us down, or have a negative impact on our emotions, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Emma is going through all of the characteristics of how to create happiness in our lives, from building meaningful relationships, to limiting our time on social media, and gives some examples of things we can all do to bring a little more joy to our day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good morning everybody. It might not be morning when you're listening to this, but I am recording this at 7.30 in the morning. I Don't know. I just felt right like The sun's coming up. There's like this golden light Shining into my room. I was just like oh I want to talk. I just want to talk to someone So here we are I want to talk. I just want to talk to someone. So here we are. Today's episode is going to be about something that I've been thinking about a lot recently,

which is how to live a happy life and what is the recipe to living a happy life? Because I think that it's harder now than it's ever been to live a happy life, which sounds crazy and backwards because in general, you know, the world that we're living in today as, you know, flawed as it may be, is still better in a lot of ways than it was say 50 years ago. You know, there's a lot of things about living today that are so great. There are also some things about it that aren't so great. And one of those things being, you know, obviously the internet, that's a huge one and possibly the biggest one.

But also, I would argue like, the mentality around working, sorry, I just heard my cat open the drawer that has the treats in it. And I now hear my cats trying to rip the bag of treats open so if you don't mind I need to go fix that problem and then I will be back. Oh my god she just brought the bag of treats into my room. Quinn you can't have that. My cats figured out how to open the drawers like I swear to God I don't get a break.

I swear to God I don't get a break. Okay, sorry, I'm back. I gave them a few treats and maybe now they'll leave me alone. Anyway, I feel like there is this like mentality and maybe not everybody feels this, this might just be my own hometown or where I live. I'm not sure. But it feels like everybody is so obsessed with going to a prestigious college and getting a prestigious job.

And it's like that more than ever. Like, I think social media plays a role in that. People are obsessed with bragging rights, in a sense, with that stuff, and everybody's very competitive. It feels like. It's hard right now to live a happy life, especially what we're dealing with, you know, with the pandemic.

It's like, it's hard. Living a happy life is really hard. And as blesses we are to have all of this technology and all of this social growth, where people are learning so much about different types of people in ways that they never could have before, which I think is a great thing as well. There's just, there's still so many challenges

that come with living today. And I think that in order to live the happiest life that we can, we need to actually put effort in. Like it's not easy, it's not easy to live a happy life. You have to actually try, you know. Not for everybody, but I would say for 99% of people, if you want to live a happy life, these days, you have to put effort in. Because what I realized is that living a happy life is actually challenging. Living a happy life is actually challenging. It's not easy.

Living a happy life is not taking the easy route. It's the complete opposite. I would say taking the easy route in life would almost be to surrender to the vices in a way that we have right in front of us on a day-to-day basis. That might be, you know, going on social media for eight hours a day. That might be you know post-mating food and ordering food for every meal even went even though you have free time and you could be cooking instead you know or

choosing to watch a drama video on YouTube instead of reading a book or you know, or choosing to watch a drama video on YouTube instead of reading a book or, you know, leaving mean comments on other people's social media posts instead of journaling and self-reflecting about yourself. The easy choices these days are what make your life shit. You know what I'm saying? Not saying that you guys are internet trolls. I'm implying that you guys are internet trolls by the way that I just gave those examples.

But you get what I'm saying. It's almost easier than ever to be lazy. Nowadays, you know what I'm saying? It's easier than ever to be lazy nowadays. But at the same time, there's more pressure than ever to succeed in astronomical amounts. It feels like our society is very obsessed with success and showing that to everybody and bragging about that to everybody. But yet at the same time, it's easier than ever to be lazy.

It's so interesting. But I wrote down a few things that I think are necessary to having a happy life. And hopefully you can listen to this and maybe pick a few of these things that you want to work on. I know these are things I'm working on. Anyway, let's get into it. The first ingredient for a happy life is having people in your life who make you feel comfortable

and having people in your life who you feel like would have your back no matter what happened. People that would not turn on you in a split second if all hell broke loose. Because let me tell you, some of the happiest moments so far in my life, in the happiest phases I've had in my life, have happened when I have people around me that I feel like are solid. I don't feel judged by these people. I don't feel like these people would turn on me in a second if it benefited them. People who genuinely had my best interest at heart. And it's really hard to find that. And oftentimes in life, I think that we lie to ourselves about who truly has our back and who doesn't. Like, for example, when

I was in high school, you know, my friends in high school, I would say would turn on me in a second if it would benefit them. Does that make them bad people? No, I'd probably turn on them too. You know, and I'm saying, I I'd probably turn on them too. You know what I'm saying? I probably would have turned on them too. We were all literally like, what, 15 year old girls? Of course we'd fucking backstab each other. Like, especially because we weren't the closest of friends. And it was like, we had this massive friend group.

Like, chances are we'd probably all turn on each other. You know, if a cute boy came around and was like, you need to never talk to these girls again and you can be my girlfriend. I would have been like, bye bitches, the fuck? Like, that's just how it is. Like, there's gonna be faces in your life where, you know, your relationships with people

aren't as genuine. And you might lie to yourself and be like, no, like we have each other's back, we have each other's back, but be honest with yourself, you know. Look at the people that you're surrounding yourself with. Do these people have my back and would they turn on me in a split second? The other thing is making friends and having friends that are truly reliable and have like a sense of stability. I found that when I've been around people

that are really, really all over the place, right? Like they are really good friends one day and then awful friends the next. And then, you know, don't wanna be friends with me the next day, like shit like that. People who are super unstable are not good friends. And they need to figure out their own shit

before they can have friends, literally. Because, and listen, I've been like that too. I've been like that too, where I've been all weird with my friendships, and I've been like, I don't know, not a reliable friend necessarily. And when I have moments like that, and I see myself not being a reliable friend,

I step back from the friendship. I will step back from the friendship. And I'll be like, okay, I'm just gonna back off here and let this person make other friends because I'm not being a good friend right now. Simple as that. But when it comes to you being friends with people who are like that, I think that having

friends like that is just simply not good for your mental state because you can't rely on those people, you know? And I think a huge part about living a happy life is having people that are reliable and who you know you can call anytime about anything and they would be there. And it might be your family. It might be your siblings, it might be your friends. It might be the, it might even be a therapist.

It might be your favorite teacher just having somebody in your life who you can go to. And listen, there might be moments where you don't have that. And you can't find that anywhere. That's okay too. But I think that it's something to strive for. Strive to find those people that are truly 100% reliable. Real friendship and real genuine human connection in life is I think harder to come by than we expect.

Because I think a lot of times in life we have friendships or even romantic relationships that we think are sufficient and we think are good, but if you really look between the cracks of them, they're toxic and healthy relationships in life are in the moment unconditional. It doesn't mean you're going to be in each other's lives forever. You might not be friends forever. You might not be in love forever if we're referring to a romantic partner. But in the moment of the relationship,

you should love someone unconditionally. Ideally, listen, it's not always gonna be that way. But I think that having a few people in your life that you truly love unconditionally is one of the most fulfilling things that you can experience. And it can come into your life in so many different ways. It might be a significant other, but it also might be a best friend. There's no rules, there's no regulations, it can be whatever you want it to be, and it can be whatever makes the most sense in your life.

But having that is so powerful. Even if it doesn't last forever, that's not what the point is. The point is that at any given moment in time, you know, you should strive to have relationships like that. The second ingredient I would say to a happy life is continuing to have challenge in your life. Now this is something I kind of talked about my last episode actually where basically I was talking about how in my job, if you will, I know I hate calling like YouTube and my podcast and all that stuff, my job, but like technically it is,

but it's also my passion in life for sure, but it's also a job technically, you know what I mean? I hate saying it, listen, I hate saying it, it's so fucking annoying, but whatever. I, you know, removed a lot of the challenge from my passion in life slash my job, which is YouTube and creating things on the internet. I removed a lot of that challenge by hiring people who could do the dirty work for me, who could do the hard parts for me. And what I found was that that made my life worse.

You know, not having that challenge took away a lot of my fulfillment from doing these activities. And that really, really made me realize how important challenge is. I even think that I took the challenge that I had and experienced in school, kind of for granted, because what I didn't realize was, is that when I was in school, and I was working on homework constantly,

and working on all the shit constantly. Even though it was miserable, it also weirdly made me feel fulfilled and I didn't realize it in the moment, but having that daily challenge of school was something that made me feel accomplished and made me feel good about myself in a weird way. It also made me feel

like shit about myself sometimes, but when it really came down to it, like having the challenge of school subconsciously made me feel accomplished and made me feel good about myself. Now that might not be the case for everybody. Do not get me wrong. For some people, the challenge of school doesn't work for them. And it even didn't work for me at a certain point, you know, but there were moments when I was in school where that challenge was really actually healthy for me. And it gave me something to focus on, you know, on a daily basis. And I find that really interesting. But the moral of this story is, you know, having challenges in your day-to-day life

and creating challenges for yourself is crucial for living a happy life. I'll give you some examples, you know, making it a goal for yourself. I'm only going to let myself eat out twice a week. And for the rest of the week, I'm going to cook for every meal. I don't know what is going on with my cats. They're like in play time mode and they're like wrestling each other and they're meowing and it's just like out of control. But for somebody who maybe has a busier schedule, right?

Like somebody who has, say a really challenging job, that might be enough challenge. And so creating another challenge for yourself, like forcing yourself to cook might not make sense. So finding your own personal challenge is kind of up to you and it needs to fit your lifestyle. And it needs to be something that is realistic too. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder.

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This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But State Farm can help you with some a lot of what ifs. Like what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what ifs.

They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the state farm mobile app, or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, state farm is there. Call or go to stateform.com for a quote today. I'm literally laying down in bed. I love the fact that I record my podcast in bed. It's like my favorite thing, possibly on the planet, but I was sitting up in bed and I gave up

and now I'm laying down on my heating pad and I feel amazing. Anyway, your daily challenge is gonna look different than your friend or your family. Like it's gonna look different than the other people in your life. I think it might be helpful to give an example about how I'm trying to challenge myself in my life. Number one, I started editing my YouTube videos again, because that's challenging.

And it makes me feel accomplished after, because I created something. I've also been painting. I just started getting into watercolors. And at first, I was absolutely terrible. And every single thing I would paint was like a fucking blob mess. Like it looked terrible. But just a few days ago I painted something that I was actually really proud of. And I was like, oh fuck, this feels good. This like, you know, I've been challenging myself

with this new hobby, per se, and it wasn't working, but it was still challenging, which is good and satisfying, but it wasn't, I wasn't getting any fruits of my labor. I didn't have anything I was proud of. And then, you know, after a few days of challenge, I actually painted something that I was proud of. And then I was like, okay, this is awesome. You know what I mean?

Another way I've been challenging myself is by cooking as many meals a day as I can, trying not to order food. Another challenge that I've been trying to integrate is not watching as much junk on the internet and trying to watch more good shit, you know, whether it's like interviews with really intelligent people or documentaries or instructional videos

instead of watching just like stuff about drama and whatever because as much as I'm like, I love watching inspirational stuff and listening to podcasts that are inspirational and listening to audio books and stuff. I still have days where I just want to go on the internet and just watch all the junk. You know what I'm saying? Watch all the stuff that makes me feel like shit

at the end of the day. And guess what? Sometimes that's necessary, but I've been trying to actively like only let myself do that for a little bit. You know? And those have been some of my challenges, but you can figure out what those challenges look like for you.

And the reason why having challenges is so important is because it gives you this subconscious feeling of accomplishment. When you do something challenging, it actually boosts your self-esteem in a way. And it might not seem like that in the moment because, you know, for example, like when I'm editing a YouTube video, it's challenging and there are moments when I doubt myself. There are moments when I'm like, ah, is that like too boring or, did I not film this in a way that looks good

or whatever, like I'm constantly questioning myself? But when I'm done editing the video, even if there was some self doubt on the way, I leave working on that project feeling accomplished. Even if I had moments of feeling like shit while working on it. You know? And that's fulfilling. I also think that there's something to be said for

people striving for success in life so that they can remove all the challenge from their life. And, you know, it's so interesting because living in L.A. and being around a lot of people who have succeeded in life, you know, I've seen a lot of people who have succeeded in life. You know, I've seen a lot of different roots that people have taken and not to bash on them or any way that they have decided to take their life because it's none of my business. But I've noticed that a lot of people

who become successful immediately decide to remove all challenge from their life. You know, they get somebody who cooks for them, cleans for them, drives around for them, does all their work virtually for them, right? And they have no more challenge left. And you know what that ends up creating is a monster in a sense because a human being with no challenge starts putting their energy in areas that are not good, whether that's being a stuck up in mean person, or that's becoming an entitled person, whatever it may be,

removing challenge from your life immediately destroys your ground. You know what I'm saying? It destroys your foundation and it destroys your sense of reality. And it's impossible to be grounded when you remove challenge from your life and a lot of people who find success, extreme success in life, unfortunately go that route and I think that that should be maybe food for thought for people who say look at these, you know, celebrities, right? And are like, ah, like their life seems so easy. Yeah, it might seem easy because, you know,

they can cheat their way through life in a way, but all of the rewarding challenge in their life gets removed because they don't have to do anything anymore if they don't want. Now listen, there's ways that you can handle this in a way that's good. You know, you can decide as an extremely successful person that you're not going to go that route. That's definitely a possibility, but most people don't do that. And I don't do that. And I don't know, I just think that that's something that should be food

for thought is that, you know, just because you maybe struck it rich in a way doesn't mean that you're going to have a better life because being able to pay your way through life is actually one of the most depressing things on the planet now that might sound ignorant because it's like Emma okay shut the fuck up because you know having Money is extremely you know helpful in in living a

Comfortable life I totally understand that. I'm talking about the extremes here, right? Like it's just interesting to observe how some people reach a peak of success and then just throw away all of their meaning in life because they remove all of their challenge. Again, I don't want to judge anybody because it's very easy to go that route, but I just find it fascinating and something that we should all chew on and think about. The third ingredient to having a happy life is obviously controlling your social media slash internet usage and ideally finding as many things in life that you can that make you not want to go on your phone because there's nothing better than not going on your phone all day and not even noticing, right? My goal on a daily basis is to find as many things I can

that will distract me from going on my phone. Basically, my life is just me figuring out what can get me to not go on my phone. Because just deciding I don't want to go on my phone is very difficult, but finding things that you can do that get you off your phone are, it's the best. And that can look like a lot of different things. Like for me right now, that's cooking, that's editing my YouTube videos, that's exercising,

actually is a big one. Exercising actually is a big one Hanging out with people that I Enjoy having conversation with That's what it looks like for me generally those are my usual distractions That make me go off my phone and not even pay attention. I don't even remember that I'm not on my phone You know Controlling your social media slash internet usage also comes down to deleting apps or blocking fucking websites

that negatively affect your mental health in any way, shape or form. Don't allow yourself to use apps or go on websites that are not disruptive, destructive for you. If something is destructive for you and you are aware of it, it's shockingly not that obvious to like completely delete something from your life. But you know what's crazy is that every time I unfollow somebody that maybe posts things that make me feel bad about myself,

or every time I delete an app, a whole social media app that doesn't make me feel good, it's shocking to me how quickly number one, my life improves, but number two, I forgot I ever even had it. Like I deleted TikTok and I deleted Twitter and it was like 24 hours later. I forgot I even had the apps on my phone and my life immediately improved. Same thing with like unfollowing people. You know, when I unfollow people that I don't really care about or like don't want to see what they're doing or like they, their life maybe makes me feel bad about my own. Like a week will go by and I'll be like,

wow, I wonder how they're doing. Like I haven't seen anything that they've been doing on my Instagram feed and then I'm like, oh, I am followed them. And then it's great because then you're like, oh, I haven't seen anything, and that's amazing. You know what I'm saying? You have more control over your internet usage

and your social media usage than you think. And you're in the driver's seat. So if something's negatively affecting you, it's up to you to remove that from your life. And I know it's easy to feel like you're going to miss out on shit. I totally understand that feeling, but I can guarantee that you're not, and I can guarantee that removing these platforms from your life and removing these segments of the internet from your life

are going to make you feel so much better. The next ingredient to a healthy life is having balance between your social life and your alone time. Now, I think that within the past three years, I have been really trying to figure out the happy medium because I've experienced both extremes. When I first moved to LA, I was never alone, ever.

I was always hanging out with my friends or hanging out with someone. I was always with somebody. And that was not good for me because number one, I never needed to self-reflect. I never had time to self-reflect. And I didn't feel independent because I didn't feel comfortable doing things by myself because I got used to just constantly doing things

with people and constantly having that safety net of having people around me while I'm doing things with people and constantly having that safety net of having people around me while I'm doing things. And so I didn't ever challenge myself by doing things by myself. And that was not good. It was almost like too comfortable and too easy because I didn't have to self reflect and I didn't have to do anything alone. And that was not good.

But then, more recently, I spent too much time alone. You know, I'd spend a week alone straight and not see anybody. And that caused me to self-reflect too much and to start becoming too self-centered, almost, to a point where I was overanalyzing everything that I was doing and I was also overthinking everything that I was doing and I was too hyper aware of myself and I lost touch with the fact that other people Fucking exists on this planet and that you know, it's not all about me

but it started to feel like it was all about me because I was constantly alone. And that wasn't good either, you know? And so I think the key is to find your own personal balance of your social life versus your alone time. And figuring out how much time you need per week by yourself to make sure that you have your own needs met and you're doing your own self reflection

on your own time and that you have time to do all that stuff. But also that you have your social time so that your alone time doesn't get out of control. But then at the same time, your social time doesn't get out of control. Like it's a balance. And listen, there are going to be weeks and even months that are kind of off of the routine, right?

Just because life happens. But generally figuring out the balance so that nothing gets to an unhealthy point. And I think that that's a reoccurring theme in general when it comes to having a healthy life. You know, balance is key and finding healthy balance is key in pretty much everything. You never want too much of something but you also never want not enough of something. And it's a hard balance to find

and it takes reflection and a decent amount of self-awareness to figure that out. But you are all beyond capable of figuring out the balance. And I think that it's something that's worth taking time reflecting on. The next ingredient to a healthy life is having some sense of predictability in your day. No, I'm not sure if this would work for everybody, but this is something that I've found that works really well for me. Having a sense of predictability.

So that might be having a specific morning routine where you meditate for a certain amount of time, you journal for a certain amount of time, you do your skincare routine for a certain amount of time. That might be something that is reliable and predictable in your day. But it also might be maybe your exercise routine or, you know, spending time with the same person every day for a certain amount of time, whether that's on the phone or in person, like having some sense of routine and predictability. And I think that having these daily activities can really help you feel grounded and can

be like the grounding activities throughout your day that bring you back to earth, right? Because life is so hectic and having something that's consistent and reliable can kind of help bring your brain back to neutral. And I think that that's so important. I know for me that's absolutely my morning routine, you know, where I wake up and I make my coffee and I get back into bed and I maybe journal or maybe read or maybe watch something inspiring and maybe I even work on something, you know, who knows. But that's something that is reliable and predictable for me. But then also, you know, my daily movement, whether that's going to an exercise class or going for a walk or

riding my like stationary bike at home, like whatever it may be, moving my body in some way is something that I do every day because it makes me feel good and it's also reliable. Like I know that I have my 30 minutes to an hour per day where I do something active relatively, not necessarily like extremely active. It might be going on a walk in my pajamas, like for real. It might be that, but doing something, you know? And that's something I can rely on every day.

And I know it's gonna be there. I know it's gonna be a part of my day. And I know I can use that time to relax and reflect and, you know, do something for me. This episode is brought to you by Instagram. It definitely feels harder than ever to feel connected to people. Though at the same time, it's easier than ever to get in touch with people. It seems the hard part is making truly meaningful connections. In a time when a lot of empty connections are filling our day-to-day lives. On Instagram, small everyday interactions can lead to big friendships from bonding over a shared love of funny posts to posting to your small community

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Next ingredient. Having things to look forward to on your calendar as much as possible. Now, this can be something as small as getting your nails done or having a dinner reservation or seeing somebody that you love. It can be something as simple as that, but it can also be something larger,

like planning maybe a vacation or a concert or something larger, just always having something that you're looking forward to. I find I get the most unhappy when it feels like my life is all work and no play, and I don't have anything on my calendar that I'm looking forward to that's going to be just simply enjoyable.

You know? Because as much as I'm talking about how good it is to challenge yourself in life, we also deserve moments to just relax and enjoy, you know? And so having things like that on your calendar is so important. And if you're like me, you might feel like, well, I don't deserve to have those moments. I don't deserve to have these things to look forward to. I don't work hard enough. I constantly am battling that feeling, right? I don't care who you are, everybody deserves to have those types of things on their calendar, everybody.

And so making it a priority to put those things on your calendar and to have them there, as often as possible, is so great because then you always have something to look forward to. So when things get tough and you know you're working really hard, you have that light at the end of the tunnel. You're like, okay, at the end of the week though, I get to see my best friend and we're going to, you know, go for a walk and we're going to talk and it's going to be great.

Or, you know, in two months, I'm going on this vacation and this is going to be amazing. And, you know, all my work will be worth it once I go on this vacation. Having something like that is so important. And the last ingredient is practicing gentle self-reflection, journaling, meditating, just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, whatever it may be, having a method in life that you can go to that promotes and encourages self-reflection. It might be journaling, it might be meditating, it might be just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, it might be going on a walk, whatever it may be, making sure that you have

you time where you can reflect and think. It seems so simple and so obvious, but it is huge. I think journaling is my favorite way because I feel like it's the best way to put your thoughts into the forefront of your head for some reason and make your thoughts more tangible in a way.

I just think that checking in on yourself is so important, but also you might have noticed I said gentle self-reflection. And that's because if you're self-reflecting and that just means that you're beating yourself up about things and being mean to yourself, that's not self-reflection, that's just being a bully to yourself. You need to self-reflect in ways that are gentle and that are constructive and you need

to be kind to yourself in these moments. And that is not always easy to do, but I think that it's just so important and also so overlooked, you know. Anyway, that's all the talking points I have, but I asked you guys to ask me questions about living a happy life on the Twitter at AG podcast, and I'm going to answer some of your questions. Somebody said, why do people always preach about how your life can be better and happier? What if you're just happy with a plan in simple life? Is that a bad thing?

I think that this is such a great question because again, with social media, it's like everybody's constantly bragging about how much shit that they're doing and how many vacations that they're going on and how many friends they have and all these nice restaurants that they're eating at. And it's all about bragging and like flexing,

it feels like, you know what I mean? When in reality, for most people, a happy life does not mean some sort of extravagant life. Like for me, I love going out to eat, I love going on vacation, I love doing all that stuff, but I feel happy just doing simple things too. You know, maybe going to the beach a few times a week and like trying new things like painting or drawing or fucking reading books. Like, I can be happy in that state too and I think that sometimes I'm even happier in that state.

And I think that actually a big happiness suck is comparing yourself to other people that seem to have this crazy happy life because the truth of the matter is, you don't know the truth, you know, they might not have a happy life. They might have all these extravagant things and they might go on all these extravagant vacations and all this stuff. But whether or not they're happy is still a mystery.

And chances are, they're probably not as happy as they seem. And there's beauty and comfort and still so much excitement in a simple life. Truly, I actually think that it's possible that even having a simple life for some people could be exponentially happier than having a complex, crazy life. Because everything is relative, right? And so if you live a more simple life, you might get excited about the small things more than somebody who has, say, an extravagant life, right?

Like someone who is constantly traveling and maybe has a lot of money and goes and eats at these crazy restaurants every day and you know, it does all the stuff and buys crazy luxury bags and shit all the time. They might not get excited about somebody in line at a coffee shop paying for their drink on a random Wednesday. That might just not even face them. Whereas someone who has a more simple life might be able to find joy in more things and in more simple things which could then create actually a happier life. I do not think there's anything wrong with living a simple life

and I think if anything it might even be better and it might even allow you to enjoy the small things even more. Someone said, I'm always thinking about the future. What's a good way to stay grounded and enjoy the present? I think to a certain extent, it's impossible not to think about the future, but I think that something that's good to remember is that the future is malleable. You know, obviously there are some things that are uncertain, but there are also a lot of things that you can control.

And so, I think reminding yourself that the future is open. It's a blank canvas and it can become whatever you want. Let that be comforting to you in a sense and spend time maybe journaling about what you want your future to look like and what things you're looking forward to. Take your energy and use it to look at the future in a positive and constructive light and then move on and return to the present moment by doing something, right? That might be getting back to work or, you know, hanging out with somebody or doing something in the present moment that'll bring you back to Earth. But don't necessarily ignore the fact

that you're thinking about the future because I think that that's necessary to a certain extent and normal and healthy and important, but just shift the way that you look at the future. Instead of being scared and terrified and healthy and important, but just shift the way that you look at the future. Instead of being scared and terrified and all of that, remind yourself that it's kind of up to you and that it's actually really exciting and start planning out how you want it to look.

And obviously, it might look completely different when the future comes, right? But it doesn't matter. In the present moment, look at the future as something that's very bright because the truth is it is and it can be whatever you want it to be. You know? Somebody said, how do I distance myself from toxic dynamics in an organic slash natural way? I feel like every time I'm like, this isn't working out for me. I end up going back on that even if it really is better

that we break off the communication. I totally understand this. And I still struggle with this to this day, but I would say the goal is to, you know, distance yourself from people in a way that doesn't burn a bridge. And distance yourself from people in a way where if that person grows at some point

and they become maybe less toxic for you, you could maybe ideally reintegrate them back into your life at some point if it felt right. But also creating those healthy boundaries, I think the key is to kind of politely just decline spending time with them. You might need to make excuses. You might need to lie. But if the relationship is not serving you in that moment, you have the right to do those things. If you need a lie and say, oh, I'm so busy, do it.

Let them down easy in a sense. And eventually they'll get sick of asking you to hang out, you know, and then slowly but surely it faded away. And then there you go. And if at some point they're like, dude, what's up? Like, we haven't hung out in forever. You can just say, hey, blame it on yourself. Just be like, hey, I don't know.

Like, I've just been kind of needing to spend some time alone. And I've been just like working on all this stuff. And I've been really overwhelmed. And like, all this stuff. But, you know, I'm always here for you if you need me. But like, I just need my space right now. You know? And be strict with yourself.

Be like, I'm not going to hang out with this person. Like, I'm going to distance myself and don't go back and don't let yourself go back on it. Like, make it a rule in your brain. Like, I'm not going to make excuses and go back to this. Like, I'm going to stay true to my word. Somebody said, have you ever felt like you'd

never be happy? And if you did, how do you get yourself out of that feeling? I, I felt like that hundreds of times throughout my life. And I think that the way that I feel happiness again is by honestly trying to integrate as many things from the list that I mentioned in the beginning of the episode back into my life so that might be you know reintegrating challenge into my life or Finding a better balance between my social life in my alone time or Deleting social media apps that are no longer serving me. It's like, I just try to make changes.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I take a second to look at my life and be like, what's going wrong here? What's not serving me? And then I just simply remove those things and see what happens. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes, you know, you might need to make it quite a few changes. And sometimes one simple change can make things

feel good again. It's just, it's about being proactive in a sense. And that's that. Somebody said, does a happy life mean that it lasts forever or just temporary when you have the things and people around you that make you happy? I do not think that having a happy life means that it lasts forever in the sense that you're never going to feel sadness again and you're never going to feel frustrated again and you're never going to feel hurt or sad again.

Unfortunately, that's the human condition. We're always going to be living in this constant state of fluctuation, you know? But I think that when I think of a happy life, I think of a life that's more happy than it is unhappy. And that might be 55% of the time you're happy and 45% of the time you're unhappy. It might be like that and it might be that you're happy 80% of the time and you're unhappy

20%. But I think that the main goal should be to feel happy more than you feel unhappy. And the goal should be to make the percentage of time that you feel happy as large as you possibly can, but also while understanding that you're still always going to have that percentage of time that you feel unhappy. And that's okay. And that's normal. And that's part of being a human.

Unfortunately, we're never going to be happy 24-7. Somebody said, can one only truly be happy when you stop being worldly, like being concerned with human or earthly matters, focused on worldly possessions and obsessed with worldly gains, I'm in between that in my spiritual journey, which would mean I have to let go of most, slash all of that. Is it for the better? This is really interesting because this kind of is discussing how as an individual we're faced with basically two things in life, things that are outside of us and things that are within us, right? And what's the balance there

that is the most positive and constructive? When it comes to worldly things, whether that's politics or causes or topics or the news or even possessions, stuff like that like when it comes to all of those things What I've found for me personally that works the best is that I Allow myself to be passionate and to be interested and to be infatuated by those things

but I Don't let them consume me to a point where it's all that I think about. You know, I think that as a human being and it can become in a sense all that you think about and your whole identity is things that are outside of you. And I think that that's not good because I don't think that that's actually productive in any way and I think that it can actually be detrimental. I think that when it comes to finding that balance, you need to make sure that your energy is not only going to things that are outside of you.

A very generous amount of your energy needs to be going inward because if not, you'll lose your sanity. Somebody said, honestly, I feel like I'm at an all-time low in life. I feel so drained and I don't have enough motivation to do simple tasks. Any suggestions to help gain motivation. Get a planner, get a journal, get a notebook, get something. And every morning, write out a schedule for the day.

Now, I'm not talking about writing down shit like, write an entire novel and solve a worldly issue and cook dinner for my entire family. Like, I'm not talking about doing crazy, exhausting tasks. I'm talking about doing things that are feasible, okay? So that might be like painting something, write that on your daily schedule. Like write down everything that you believe

that you could do in that day. Reasonably, right? Find things that you do have the energy to do. As small as they are, it doesn't matter. Write them all down. And then make it a goal to get all of those things done. An example could be, I'm going to cook myself one meal today.

I'm going to write my journal for 15 minutes today. I'm going to go for a walk for 10 minutes today and I'm going to do 20 minutes of homework. You know, all of that doesn't seem like much necessarily, but it's so much more than you think. When it comes to like having motivation and stuff like that, it's a matter of getting started and that's the hardest part about it. So if you can write down a bunch of things in your day that you know that you can do and then you do them. That's a really great first step because at least you're doing something and

that'll get the ball rolling. Do you know what I'm saying? It's about getting the ball rolling. But the other thing is is that if you're truly feeling drained and not motivated and you feel like shit, let yourself lay in bed with no guilt. Let yourself enjoy your relaxation with no guilt and let yourself have that time because sometimes we need two weeks in bed. Sometimes we need a month in bed and that's okay, but when you're ready to get out of bed, don't force yourself to do something big and crazy, do something small. Make yourself breakfast. You know, draw something.

Go for a short walk, like just do something. It doesn't need to be big. Anyway, you guys, that's today's episode. I hope that you enjoyed. I really enjoyed recording it and hanging out with you today. If you enjoyed it let me know. You can leave me a review on Apple podcasts or tweet at me at AG podcast. And I hope that you guys have an amazing rest of your week. I'll see you next week. I love and appreciate you all very very much and I will see you soon.