anything goes with emma chamberlain - alcohol

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

guess who just turned 21 years old? me. and you know what that means. i can legally drink in the usa. it’s nice…i mean, it has some pros, for sure, but it also has some cons. it’s also a little overwhelming to figure out your relationship with alcohol, especially in social situations and with your mental health. so i wanted to share some things with you that i wish i’d known before i started drinking…my thoughts on the positives and negatives of alcohol and even a few drinking tips. if you guys are also new to drinking, or even if you’ve been drinking for a while, maybe this will help.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello. Before we start today's episode, I just wanted to let everybody know that I am not a licensed medical professional. Those of you who listed my podcast frequently, definitely know that. But to those of you who might be new, I am not a licensed medical professional. In addition to that, all of the things I'm going to be discussing today are based on my own personal experience, in my own personal opinions. And so take everything with a grain of salt as you should with everything that you consume on the internet. Anyway, including me, last but not least, I know that alcohol can be a tough subject

for some people. So if this topic makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip out on this episode. No hard feelings. I love you forever no matter what. And on that note, shall we begin? Guess who just turned 21 years old? Me. And you want to know what that means in America? And you wanna know what that means in America? I can drink alcohol. Yep, I am now legally allowed to consume alcohol in America. I was legally allowed to drink alcohol in Europe

when I was 18. Listen, let's just say that on my 21st birthday, I did not have my first sip of alcohol. Let's just get that out of the way. I'm not claiming that. Okay. I'm not claiming that I had never had a sip of alcohol before my 21st birthday because that would be a lie. I had in fact consumed alcohol prior to my 21st birthday. But it's nice that now I can legally drink alcohol in America. This is a big deal because I've been excluded from a lot of activities over the past few years because over the past few years, I've been the only person in my life that I'm close

to that isn't over the age of 21. All of my friends majority of my family is over the age of 21. And so all of them have been going to the club, going to the bar, having a glass of wine with dinner, doing all this stuff. Or shall I say having a glass of wine with dinner legally. all this stuff, or shall I say having a glass of wine with dinner legally. You know, all of them have been doing this stuff with no stress, and I've been excluded from this because I'm always the youngest. And it's a relief for me and for everybody around me

that I'm now finally 21 and can legally participate in the activities that I've been missing out on allegedly. Ha, you know what I'm saying? It makes my life easier than now I can drink, okay? But in today's episode I wanted to talk about alcohol because now I'm 21 and I can talk about things like alcohol. Prior to now it was a little bit weird because it was like,

is she really allowed to know about that? And whether I did or not, I wasn't allowed to talk about it. Now I'm 21 and legally I'm allowed to consume it, which means I can now also talk about it. So today I'm going to be going over my thoughts on alcohol, what I think the pros and cons are, and I'm going to give you guys my advice on how to drink alcohol in a way that is the best for your mind, body, and soul because alcohol is one of those things that's quite complicated.

There are definitely some pros to drinking alcohol. There are some things about it that are pleasant and kind of harmless, but there are also some things about alcohol. In fact, there are a lot of things about alcohol that are really awful. And I think that that's probably pretty obvious to most people. But there are some negative effects of alcohol that I feel like aren't really talked about enough. And those are the things I'm specifically going

to be touching on today, or most heavily going to be touching on today. So here it is, pros, cons, and advice on alcohol. This is the first of many rated R, anything goes episodes, because now I'm allowed to make rated R content, because I'm 21 years old. Prior to now, I could basically talk about Legos, Play-Doh, Bouncy Houses, Apple Juice, that was about it. But now that I'm 21 and I'm a big girl, I'm gonna start talking about sex, drugs, alcohol,

rock and roll, all of this stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna shut up. So I'm gonna start out today with talking about the positive things that can come from drinking alcohol. Now I'm starting out with this because there's not that many. There's not that many positive sides to drinking alcohol, but there are a few. So let's go through them.

The first positive effect of alcohol is that it definitely makes you more social. From my experience, if I have a drink or two at a social event, I am so much more excited about being social. At times, when I will have a drink or two, it will almost make me feel like my social battery just got filled up a little bit. My social battery being my energy for being social. How much energy do I have in me to be social? That's my social battery.

A little bit of alcohol can temporarily and almost falsely fill up your social battery. Now this can be a good thing. If for whatever reason you need to be in a social situation or you think that being in a social situation would be good for you, even though you might not be in the mood for it, it can be a good thing because sometimes being social is just what you need. You know, maybe you're going through a really hard time and you're kind of locking yourself away in your home and it's kind of getting out of control because you're starting to

get worse anxiety and your depression starting to get worse and blah, blah, blah because you're isolating yourself and you're like, wow, I need to go and be social. Maybe having a drink and being social with people is exactly what you need to kind of gain perspective again. And in that case, the way that alcohol can kind of loosen you up might actually be in a way a positive thing. Obviously, as long as you're drinking responsibly

and not too much, right? Because when you drink too much, then nothing good comes of that. So then it kind of eliminates all of the positive reactions that it may have had. I should probably say this for all of the pros of drinking alcohol, is that the only time that there can be a pro to drinking alcohol is if you are drinking a responsible amount. There's really no positive repercussion of drinking too much ever, ever. It usually only ends negative.

And if it doesn't end negative, it ends neutral where it's like nobody got hurt, but also you're definitely not better off. So all of the pros I'm about to mention only apply if you're not overdoing it. And you're only having a few drinks and you're still mentally there. You're mentally there still. You know what I'm saying? The second pro is that it can obviously make a boring experience less boring.

Now, this is a good thing, kinda. It's a good thing because obviously in life, having fun is one of the most beautiful parts of life, right? So anytime you're having fun, usually that's a good thing. So I want to say that this is a pro of drinking alcohol, that it can turn a boring situation into a fun, and possibly funny situation. Let's say you're at a party and it vibes off. You know what I mean? Everybody's kind of tired. Nobody's laughing. People aren't being social. You get everybody a drinker to and everybody's laughing, talking, hugging, loving each other, playing games, giggling, like

whatever in theory. And that is a good thing. But at the same time, it's kind of also a con because you don't want to ever rely on alcohol to have a good time. So I guess I should say that alcohol turning a boring situation into a slightly more fun situation is only a pro of drinking alcohol if it kind of happened by coincidence. People were having drinks and then they just happened to have fun. And if there weren't drinks present, it might have been boring. Does anyone know any different?

No, because the drinks had been flowing since the moment everybody showed up. It's a negative thing if everybody's really bored and then decides to start drinking, and then that becomes a habit, where every time everybody's hanging out, and it gets boring, it's like, oh, let's drink now. Because then it kind of starts teetering on

not using alcohol correctly, because you're using it, and depending on it, for a good time, and you never wanna depend on it for a good time, and you never want to depend on anything for a good time. That goes for drugs and alcohol. That's a bad sign. If you're not having fun without alcohol, or without drugs,

then there needs to be some shifts in life, you know? Maybe there needs to be an integration of more activities at your social gatherings, et cetera. That's a sign that there's an imbalance in your social interactions, if alcohol is required for it to be fun. So I'm gonna clarify that whole statement by saying, alcohol should never really be used as a bandaid

for a bad time. And rather, it should be used to elevate in already good time. Do you see what I'm saying? And maybe if it's used every once in a while to bandaid a bad time, that's fine. But if that's happening on a frequent basis, then there's an issue. The next pro of alcohol is that it tastes good with food sometimes.

This mainly applies to wine. Wine is one of those things that is kind of a delicacy, right? And there are a lot of alcohols that are a delicacy. You know, there's really expensive bottles of whiskey, like whatever, there's like a lot of, you know what I'm saying. It's something that can elevate your dining experience. My dad swears by a glass of red wine with his dinner every once in a while because he's like, this will really elevate the meal. You know, it complements the flavors, blah, blah, blah. It's really, you know, it also makes you feel nice and warm

because alcohol kind of makes you feel warm and a little bit relaxed. If you're somebody who has a positive reaction alcohol, not everybody does, but majority of people have like a warm and relaxing reaction to having a little bit of alcohol. And so, you know, the complementing flavors of the alcohol with food combined with its potentially relaxing effects can lead to a really enjoyable

dinner time experience. Now, that's great. You know, like that's a great element of drinking alcohol is how it can just add to a meal. It also adds to a dinner time experience or possibly even a brunch experience, because if you're brunching or dinnering with people, possibly a little bit of alcohol could loosen you up and make you want to talk more and be more social, which can make the brunch or dinner a little bit more spicy and interesting because you're more apt to talk about stuff because let me tell

you at least for me, alcohol makes me talk a lot. Don't know why, but it does, and I know it does for a lot of other people too. So yeah, another positive side to it is that it can kind of add to a meal. And the last positive side is that it can kind of alleviate nervousness at times. Now, again, with this positive pro of alcohol,

it can also become negative if it starts to get overused. But alcohol can help to relax you when you're a little bit nervous. Let's say you're feeling nervous for a first date. Having a glass of wine while you're getting ready might help soothe the nerves a little bit. Now, in theory, you're only probably going on a first date every once in a while.

So having a glass of wine to help alleviate those nerves is a normal and healthy response. I would argue. I don't know. But if you're starting to drink alcohol every time you're nervous for something, that's not good. That's when this becomes a con. But if you're just using it every once in a while when you're nervous, and maybe you're

nervous about something that is kind of inconsequential, right? Like a first date. Then I think it's actually a positive thing. Whereas if you're drinking alcohol because you're nervous about something that's actually consequential, like you didn't pay your taxes. So instead of thinking about that,

you're like drinking, that's when it's bad, right? And I think that that's a pretty clear and obvious sort of distinction. But yeah, it can like help you relax if you like wanna go on a first date or if you're like going to a big event or you're gonna go to your high school reunion, I don't know, right?

That's a positive thing. So it's definitely fair to say that there are some pros to drinking alcohol, right? Like there are some, there are some positives things that can come to drinking alcohol, right? Like there are some positive things that can come of drinking alcohol. Unfortunately through my few years of experience, there are a lot more cons. Now, before I go into the cons of drinking alcohol,

a lot of cons are obvious. I'm not gonna go into those because I feel like those are obvious. You know what I mean? Like obviously there are a lot of negative side effects for your body, your physical body. Also, drinking alcohol can become dangerous on so many levels. If you drink too much, it's dangerous for your physical body.

If you make stupid decisions while you're drinking, it can be dangerous for yourself and everybody around you. I mean, there's a lot, a lot of really, really serious cons to drinking alcohol. You can become addicted to it. You know, there's a lot of very, very, very serious cons to drinking alcohol. I'm not gonna talk about those today,

but instead I'm gonna talk about the cons that I feel like aren't talked about enough. Just because for people who are maybe my age and just starting to drink for the first time in their life, or your life, if this applies to you, I think these are the things I wish somebody would have told me before I started drinking. Number one, it's bad for your productivity. I found that when I'm in a phase, maybe where I'm drinking a little bit more, right? Overall, I just get less done. Even if it's just like, oh, I'm drinking on a weekly basis, not on a daily basis,

but when I'm drinking on a weekly basis, it can start to slow me down. I feel like I'm not getting as much done because a lot of my free time is spent trying to rest off the fatigue from the drinking. And even if I don't drink a lot, I don't even have to drink a lot to feel the physical effects of drinking.

And I mean, obviously gives you a hangover, but it's actually like less obvious than that sometimes. Like if I'm drinking on a weekly basis, I'll just feel a lot more tired all the time, but I'll never feel like, obviously hung over. Where I have a headache and I'm super dehydrated and I like physically can't move or get out of bed. It's not like that.

It's like just overall, I feel more tired. I feel more fatigued. And then if I go like a week, two weeks without having a drink, I feel like so good. And I feel so fresh. And I wake up in the morning and feel like ready for the day. And I just feel so much more alive on a day to day basis, whereas if I'm drinking more frequently, it can kind of slow me down.

And it takes a while to fully recover. Like I need to take a week or two off completely before I feel normal again. And so that's definitely a negative side effect. Another negative side effect is that it makes my anxiety so much worse. When I'm drinking on a regular basis, my anxiety gets so bad, it is crazy. And when I say on a regular basis, my anxiety gets so bad.

It is crazy. And when I say on a regular basis, I mean, let's say one to three times a week. And when I say one to three times a week, I mean like having a drink at dinner or maybe it's like, I'm going to a music festival. So I'm like drinking more frequently, like whatever, like when I'm drinking

frequently for like a week plus, my anxiety gets so bad. And it gets bad, not just the morning after I've had a few drinks, it stays bad for like two weeks after the last sip of alcohol I had. So let's say I drink all weekend, one weekend because I was at a music festival. For the next two weeks after that, my anxiety is going to be elevated. I'm going to be 50 times more paranoid, 50 times more self-conscious, and just 50 times more anxious in general. And if I go about two weeks without drinking, that anxiety will completely go away. And I return to my baseline where I'm just not anxious,

I feel good, I feel normal, I get anxiety a little bit, but it's more of a fleeting feeling is something that comes and goes rather than it being a constant. When I'm in a routine of drinking, it's a constant and it's really, really hard for me. It sucks, right? Because in the moment when I'm having a drink or two,

I'm like, this is great. I feel loose. I feel warm. I'm dancing. Suddenly I'm dancing. Suddenly I'm laughing. Or, oh my God, this glass of wine tastes so good with my dinner. You know, like this is so good.

I love this. I feel so classy with my little glass of wine in Paris, whatever. Like, it's great when it's happening. And then it's like, for weeks after that, I feel like shit. Speaking of feeling like shit, when I'm in a routine of drinking alcohol, I can also get really depressed. It really, really affects my depression. It worsens it. And it's similar to how it affects my anxiety, where it will make me feel, I would say, 50% more depressed than I do on a daily basis. For about two weeks after I drink. And then after

that two weeks, I return to a more normal state where, you know, I still struggle with anxiety, I still struggle with depression, I still struggle with those things, but it's a lot less and it's a lot more controllable for me. It's, I don't know, you know,. I don't know. I didn't know before I started drinking that it would have such profound effects on my anxiety and depression. It actually took some time for me to figure out, because not everybody has that issue. There might be some of you out there that can drink all weekend and then wake up on Monday and be like, what's up bitches? I'm feeling happy and healthy and ready for the day. Not me. I do not have that experience. And I mean, I envy those of you who don't have that experience because I'd love to be able to have a drink and not have serious repercussions.

But I do. And so, you know, it's been a really difficult process for me because, you know, now I'm finally 21 and I can drink legally here in the US. Obviously, as I mentioned, I've been legal in Europe for quite a while now. And yeah, I had alcohol before. You know what I'm saying?

Allegedly. I don't know what I'm saying? Allegedly. I don't know. I'm like trying not to get in trouble. But what I'm trying to say is, now that I'm 21, I've been really thinking about alcohol. And how I am or am not going to make it a part of my life. You know what I mean? Because I've gone on this journey with it before I was even legal in America,

but whatever. I've gone on this journey with it where I have enjoyed it truly. Enjoyed the social elements of it. Enjoyed the way that it can elevate a meal. Enjoyed the way that it can even make me feel at times, whether that's a good thing to say or not, I don't know, I mean, why do people drink alcohol

because it makes you feel good, right? I've enjoyed the effects of alcohol, I've enjoyed it. But the two weeks or so after I drink, the way I feel is so bad that, you know, I've had to really think about how I can approach this now that I'm an adult and I can, if I want, have a glass of wine every night, if I want. I can, you know, it's like, now that I'm 21, the responsibility is put on me. I can do whatever I want in regards to alcohol,

and I've been having sort of an existential crisis about it because I'm like, I enjoy it, but also it's effects on me are really negative. And so I'm trying to figure out whether or not it's worth it. And it's been really hard because the pros that I mentioned earlier, although they are loaded pros, if you will, because they're not as simple as being like, this is good.

It's like more complicated than that because it's like, this is good as long as you're not overdoing it and as long as, you know, you have a designated driver and as long as you're in a safe environment and like, you know, there's a lot, it's a loaded pro, right? Shall I say? Those pros are still pros and they are things that make alcohol enjoyable

for me personally and for millions of other people, but the cons are crazy. And it's effect on my mental state, especially is very serious and not good. And the main reason why I wanted to talk about this was because there's probably a lot of you out there, especially young people who are just starting to drink. And you might notice that you're feeling really depressed

and anxious after you drink, and you might be like, what's going on? Is this normal? And you might not even link it to the alcohol. And so you might just be thinking that you're feeling depressed or you're feeling anxious and that's just the way that it is. But alcohol can very much make those feelings worse.

And so if you're someone like me who's prone to anxiety and depression and things like that, I really recommend you kind of take note of how alcohol is affecting you in the weeks following even because I was kind of in denial at first that it was exacerbating my negative mental health issues. I was in denial of it at first because I was like, there's no way, you know, like it can't be making it worse, like because it's so fun when I have a drink, you know? Most of the time it's fun, anyway, shall I say.

It's not always fun, but I would say nine times that attendance fun. You know, I was like, how is it possible that this could be bad, but it is. And I think it's interesting because I feel like all, I'm about to go off on a tangent here that's gonna sound crazy, possibly, but just bear with me.

I feel like in life, all good things, all fun things, all things that seem almost too good to be true, always come at a price. And the price might not be immediate, but all good things come with a price. I would say with alcohol, the price is that it might negatively affect your mental health. Or, you know, something really negative and dangerous could happen when under the influence of alcohol. That's another price that you may pay. It seems like this cheat code, you know, having a drink or having three, is like a cheat code to a good time. But it's just, it's unfortunate that in life,

it's not that simple. And everybody's price that they might pay for alcohol is going to be different. For me, it's that it exacerbates my... is it exacerbate? It sounds a little bit too close to the word masturbate. I feel like I'm saying it wrong. Exaster-bait. Is that right? Exaster-bait. Okay.

Exaster-baitate to make worse. That's what that word means. Anyway, for me, the price I pay for drinking alcohol is that it exacerbates my anxiety and depression. For you, it might be that it can make you angry and it can make you start fights with people. For other people, it might be that it makes them really emotional. They just start crying if they drink too much.

For some people, it might be that they make really fucking stupid decisions. For some people, it might be that they reach out to friends or ex-partners and send things that they will regret in the morning. For everybody, there's a negative effect of alcohol. Even if you're on your best behavior, you know, even if you don't overdo it and you handle yourself with the utmost of grace, there's probably going to be a negative side effect in there somewhere, because as I said, in life, nothing so perfect ever comes for free. So perfect ever comes for free. And alcohol in a way is kind of perfect.

It's this sometimes nasty tasting juice that makes you feel good and calm and kind of makes you forget about things that you don't want to think about. I don't know. But anyway, let's move on to another con of drinking alcohol. I have more.

There's a serious issue that I already kind of touched on, but that I want to touch on more. And that's becoming socially dependent on alcohol. Okay. It's easy to do. It's very easy to do. And I personally have struggled with this a little bit. I'm going to be honest. I've found myself, let's say, let's give an example. After maybe I'm in Paris for Paris Fashion Week, and there's a

social event one night. There have been times in my life when I felt like I couldn't socialize without a drink in like that type of setting. And obviously I was a lot to be having a drink because I was in Paris. Love you. And that's, you know, that's not a good feeling because you never want to feel like you need something pretty much ever in life. Unless it's like obviously a medication or whatever. Like, it's something that is like that serious is different. But I'm talking about things that are again,

in consequential, alcohol, people, even at times. You never want to feel like you need things. You only want to feel like things elevate your life, but they aren't necessary. Alcohol is a good example. Alcohol should just take something that's good and make it better in theory. People in your life should not make your life good. They should make your life better, right? By this I mean that your life or the social event that you're going to should be good in your eyes, whether or not you're drinking alcohol or whether or not you have certain people in your life. If you need alcohol for social events to be fun or you need people, certain people in your life. If you need alcohol for social events to be fun, or you need people, certain people in your life

for your life to be good, then there's an issue, right? And obviously we're not talking about feeling dependent on people right now, but I'm using that as an example because I feel like it's a great one. I've struggled with feeling like I socially need alcohol in my life for periods of time for sure. And here's what happens when you start relying

on alcohol socially. You start to lose confidence in your social skills and it can make you lose self-esteem. When I have been in periods of my life where I felt like I needed alcohol in order to be social, when I wasn't drinking alcohol and I was just completely sober and I was social,

I felt less confident in my ability to be social. Like, when I'm in the grocery store and I'm talking to the cashier, I'm less confident in that type of interaction. Or if one of my friends even calls me on the phone and we haven't talked in a while. I would feel a lot more nervous about that conversation because I was like, oh, we haven't talked in a while. What's it going to be like? What's it going to be like? I didn't feel as confident in myself socially without having alcohol in my system.

And now, let me tell you that I was only drinking alcohol socially occasionally. This would be like whenever it was available for me and allowed for me. But I was using it to help me socially, and I was kind of relying on it. And that trickled into my daily life, even though I was only doing it occasionally. And I think that that's the worst part. I lost faith in my social skills because I felt like I was socially my best when I was drinking. That's not good, you know. But it doesn't need to be that way. You can still socialize and

drink and not become socially dependent on it. It's kind of a conversation you have to have with yourself. When you're having a drink at a social event, you kind of have to ask yourself, am I drinking because I need it? Or am I drinking because I? because I needed or am I drinking because I just want to elevate this experience a little bit. And I'm in the mood and fuck it. You know, that's a conversation only you can have with yourself, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, because you're your own bestie in theory. I hate myself, but I'm trying to be my own bestie as much as possible.

I don't know. Becoming socially reliant on it is a very, it's a, there's a very fine line because obviously it's very enjoyable to drink socially, but you just have to be honest with yourself about whether or not you're relying on it. And that's a really hard thing to do. It's a really hard conversation to have with yourself, you know. It's hard to hold yourself accountable in that way. And eventually I noticed myself kind of feeling like I need to have a drink when I would go to an event say in Europe and whatever. I would feel like I needed to have a drink. And at a certain point, I realized I was like, I don't think that's good. Number one, I

don't think it's good. It definitely, something seems off about that. But also, I'm having negative repercussions the next morning and for two weeks following when I drink. So I should probably take a little bit of time off. And so I did. I took a lot of time off from drinking at all, even at social events. And I learned a lot about myself. I will tell you that. I learned a lot about myself. And I grew my confidence back socially. I don't know what it is, but when I'm not drinking or I'm very rarely drinking, I consider rarely once a month, I'm just so much more confident in who I am. I feel so much more connected to who I am.

And I should mention that the only substance that I use personally is alcohol. I do not smoke weed. I do not and cannot participate in marijuana-related activities. So when I'm not drinking alcohol, I'm fully sober, right? Like I'm not doing anything because I don't smoke weed and I don't do anything else. So alcohol is kind of the only thing that I participate in that affects my brain, like that. You know what I'm saying? Takes me out of my normal baseline state.

And when I'm not drinking, I feel so like weirdly self-aware and like spiritually connected to myself. And I just feel really good. I just socially feel more confident in any scenario. I feel like invincible socially because I'm like, I could go to a dinner party with 15 people I don't know, and not have a drink,

and I feel confident in that, because I've trained myself to feel confident in uncomfortable social situations, by not allowing myself to have that drink. And now, if I wanna have a drink at a social setting, I'm just drinking it to elevate the experience. I'm not drinking it to solve the problem. And I found that this is just such a better structure for me. Now listen, for everybody, it's going to be different. I'm just sharing my experience. What you do, I do not judge you. I love you. You can do whatever you want.

Even if you fuck up and you maybe, you know, even if you're fucking up now in regards to your, you know, in regards to alcohol, I don't, I'm not judging you. As long as you're safe and the people around you are safe, I'm not judging you.

And I'm just sharing my experience to hopefully give you some peace of mind, maybe give you a little bit of advice, share my experience, and maybe even just point out the obvious. Maybe this whole episode is just me pointing out the obvious. That's fair enough, but we're just having a conversation right now, so stop putting me in a box. Okay, maybe I am pointing out the obvious, but who cares? So I think this all comes back to this dilemma that I'm facing right now, where on one hand, I enjoy alcohol. On

the other hand, without it, okay, let me rephrase, on one hand, I enjoy drinking alcohol in the moment. It's really fun. It's great. As long as I don't overdo it, which I rarely do, I have a great time, and it's really fun in the moment. I love it, it's great. But on the other hand, I feel so much happier and better when I'm not drinking on a daily basis for the weeks following me having drinks, I feel better. I feel more confident socially and just in general, it's so weird. I don't know why psychologically when I'm in a phase where I'm drinking, I just feel so self-conscious.

I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's maybe an effect of my anxiety being worsened or if it's because I feel less capable socially because I had relied on it for however many instances when I was drinking socially. I don't know what it is, but it just, it makes me feel insecure when I'm drinking a lot. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it just makes me feel insecure when I'm drinking a lot. I don't know. I don't know what it is. And overall, I just avoid a lot of potential bad things that

can happen when you drink alcohol by not drinking it. And so this is a dilemma that I'm facing right now. And it's really tough for me. I don't know. I don't know what the perfect balance is. I feel like right now in life, I'm really trying to find balance in so many different areas. I'm trying to find balance in how I can incorporate drinking possibly into my life in a way that's positive and fun and has no negative repercussions.

I'm trying to figure out balance in my social life. How much alone time is healthy and how much is too much, because sometimes I am alone too much, and then sometimes I hang out with people too much, and I'm trying to figure out what that balance is, and I'm trying to figure out balance when it comes to what's being disciplined with myself when it comes to say work, for example, what's

being too disciplined and what's not being disciplined enough? There's all this that I'm trying to figure out in my life right now. And I think alcohol is, and just even substances in general that are illegal. Like in California, marijuana weed, I don't know marijuana, who the fuck calls it marijuana? I don't know nobody by age Sorry, I have mucus in my sinus. Um like weed is legal here. I Don't know like I'm trying to figure out why I mean I I can't personally I know that I cannot consume

Marijuana products that contain THC. I know that for a fact, if you want a story time, I can tell you the story time, maybe in the next episode or something, if you're interested, let me know. I'm actually going to tell the story anyway, so you don't really actually have to let me know. I have this habit of being like,

let me know if you want to hear this, but I know deep down that I'm going to do it anyway. So I don't know why I did that anyway. But yeah, I already know that I can't participate in that. So alcohol is kind of the only thing. And I'm just trying to figure out like where, how that's going to play a part in my life. And it's definitely something that is taking a lot of time for me to figure out. And that's for sure.

I really don't know, you know, like what the perfect balance is. And maybe there isn't one. And that might be a discovery that I find along this journey in my personal life. Like I might figure out that there's just no way for me to drink alcohol in a way that is just a net neutral effect on my life, right? It doesn't have a super negative or super positive

effect on my life. And that's what I'm trying to find. Is there a way to do that with alcohol? But I think that the way that it affects my anxiety a super negative or super positive effect on my life. That's what I'm trying to find. Is there a way to do that without call? But I think that the way that it affects my anxiety and my depression is just gonna end up making it something that I just can't do. And that's actually really sad for me genuinely,

because I mean, I love making a drink and having it by the pool and hanging out with friends. Like I fucking love that. I love it. And I don't feel like it's something that I am using in a way that is like overdoing it or bad. It's, fuck, it's so hard.

So anyway, if you're going through a similar dilemma, just know you're not alone. It's, fuck, it's so hard. So anyway, if you're going through a similar dilemma, just know you're not alone. It's really tough. It's really tough. But I will say, right now, as we speak, I'm moving into a new house. I bought a house like a year ago, and I've been remodeling it for the past year,

and I've been living in a rental house in the meantime while I was renovating, rebuilding this house. And one of the first things I did was put together a little bar area because I really wanted to have a bar but now I'm like, do I even want to have a bar? I can still have a bar and just not drink maybe. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm, you get what I'm dealing with right now maybe. Based on my explanation, you deal with, you know what I'm dealing with here. It's tough and I think a lot of people probably go through this. Anyway, to end off this episode, I'm going to give a few drinking tips that I have for those of you who either are just starting to drink, maybe you just turn that age where it's time to start drinking whatever, or maybe you're just somebody who isn't too savvy with alcohol. I'm gonna give some advice, and I'm not saying I'm the most savvy, but I think I got a pretty good handle on it.

Personally, at my ripe age of 21, I don't know, I feel like I have a pretty good grip. I'm like what the best practices are. My first tip is you got to take it slow. You have to. Like I've made the mistake before of drinking too much too fast, too soon, immediate crash into the ground. And you know it defeats the whole purpose because let me tell you your night your night's not going to be fun anymore. I have a tip. If you are like me and you like to have something to sip on when you're at a social event or maybe you're at dinner,

let's say you slurp down your first alcoholic drink really fast. Order the same drink, but order it virgin. So order without alcohol as your second drink. I do this all the time, except my drink of choice is a vodka soda. Fun fact, my drink of choice is a vodka club soda with limes squeezed into it. It's fresh, it's refreshing. I love sparkling water anyway.

It's like sparkling water with lime, except it's a little bit spicy. It's the only difference. Anyway. Order the same drink that you got, but order it with no alcohol in it as your second drink to break it up a little bit. If you're like,

I want another drink, but you know that if you keep going with alcoholic drinks, you're going to start feeling a little bit too crazy too soon. Order the same thing, but just order without alcohol. So like for me, when I'm at dinner, let's say I order a vodka soda, I slurp it down so fast, it's gone.

And I really want another one. I'm like, ooh, I want another one. But I'm like, ooh, it's too soon. I order the same thing, a club soda with lime, just without the vodka. Let's say you're really into a ramen coke. You love ramen coke. That's your go-to drink. Just order a coke. You get my vibe here. It gives you the feeling that you're still participating in this evening of socializing, drinking, and living your best life. It still makes

you feel like you're participating but it gives you a little bit of a break. That's a really good tip. I would really recommend that because I think a big reason why people drink too much too fast is because they wanna have something in their hand, right? And I get that. So, you know, you can just order the virgin version

of your drink. My next piece of advice is you need to make a plan before you start drinking. Let's say you're going to a party. Let's say you're going to something like that. Know how you're getting home before you go out because I've made the mistake before of going out and not having a plan and getting to wherever I am, you know, wherever the party is. And then, you know, the end of the evening rolls around.

And, you know, me and all the friends are a little tipsy and we're like, how the fuck are we gonna get home? And we try to call an Uber and there is no reception. And then we have to walk like, you know, a mile to get reception so that we can Uber hump. Things like that have happened, okay? And it's not fun reception so that we can Uber hump things like that have happened. Okay. And it's not fun.

And when you're drunk, things like that are dangerous. It's not good. You don't want to be out and about fucking fronting in the street when you're drunk. And obviously as we all know, we're not getting in the car, right? We're not getting in the fucking car. None of nobody who's drinking is getting in the car. We know that. That's we know that.

So, you know, you have to have a plan for a ride that's safe. So figure out if you're gonna be able to have reception and if not, you might need a designated driver. Somebody who is doing the Lord's work by going out with you guys, hanging out and then driving you home after because you don't wanna be stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Okay? Not good. My last piece of advice is, never, ever feel like you need to drink because other people are trying to get you to drink. Now, I'm not saying this to demonize people who are like, come on, have a drink because I think that to a certain extent, you know, that can be an act of hospitality in a sense. Let's say people are having you over and they're like, oh, relax. Like let me, let me give you a drink. Let me make you a drink. I, I think nine out of 10 times, there is no negative intent by anybody who's offering

you a drink. But I've made the mistake of not being in the mood to drink, not really being in the mental state where I'm in a place where drinking is the right idea, and I let people serve me a drink because I don't want to be rude and decline their offer. The truth is, is that when someone's offering you a drink, you can absolutely say no.

I have said yes despite not really wanting a drink so many times. And it's not good because this kind of relates to an episode I made a few weeks or months back about being a yes man and letting people sort of take advantage of you. This kind of takes this is kind of similar to this. If you want more on this topic go listen to that episode but this is less about letting people walk all over you and more about being a yes man and saying yes to everything just to take the path

of least resistance, right? You can say no. When somebody offers you a drink if you're not feeling it, say no, just be like, oh my God, I'm not in the mood right now. But like, thank you so much. Or not even say that. That's kind of weird. Don't say that. I'm not in the mood. Say it to something like, oh, no, thank you. You know, I'm good right now. It's that easy. But I always say, I always used to say yes, because I felt bad or weird about saying no to people and you don't need to do that. You don't need to drink if you don't feel like it. Period, end of story. Don't just say yes because you know you're trying to accept

somebody's act of hospitality. They will be fine if you say no. Say no. Don't force yourself to drink just to fit into a social setting. Don't fit in just to please the host of who invited you over. Only drink when you really want to and when you feel like it is going to be a positive experience for you. And obviously there's going to be mistakes that you make in life. There are going to be moments when you say yes and you have a drink just because you know you want to fit into the room where you're socializing. You know, there's going to be moments like that. There are going to be moments when you say yes and you have a drink just because you know you want to fit into the room where you're socializing. You know, there's going to be moments like that. There are going to be moments when you drink too much. There are going to be moments when you fuck up while you're drinking.

There are going to be those moments. It's inevitable and it happens to everybody. My advice is do your best to avoid those things and try to learn from your mistakes when you make them. That's the best that you can do. I think that demonizing alcohol is the wrong approach. I think a lot of people look at alcohol and are like, no, that is, you know, no, you know, like people who drink, like, there's a lot of judgment about people who drink alcohol sometimes.

Like you know what I mean? Like I feel like it's kind of a polarizing topic. Obviously there are some people who don't drink for say religious reasons or because maybe they have a family history of struggles with alcohol. You know there are so many reasons why not drinking alcohol is an automatic choice for people. And that is something that does not need to be discussed because that's somebody's personal choice and decision. But on the other hand, you know, there's some people who enjoy alcohol and want to participate

in drinking alcohol. And that is also, you know, a choice that you can make. And it's kind of nobody's business, right? Whether or not someone drinks alcohol, but I think that demonizing it, right? And looking at it as something that's dirty and disgusting and people who drink are this or are that, I think that that whole narrative is not productive and kind of useless. And I think that it is only harmful. And I bring this up because I have known people in my life who have been super judgmental

about people who drink alcohol and who have judged me for drinking alcohol. And even if I was drinking completely responsibly, and because I've encountered people in my life who have made me feel like I was a bad person for drinking, I've felt a lot of guilt about drinking, or about dumb shit I've done when I drank before, maybe drinking too much and throwing up,

I don't know, or telling an embarrassing story about myself, something like that. I felt a lot of guilt throughout my life about drinking because of just people I've known in my life that have just made me feel guilty about it. And the conclusion that I've come to now is that, number one, it's nobody's business. Number two, there's no reason to feel guilty about drinking.

Instead, I think the approach should be if you are making mistakes while you're drinking. Instead of feeling guilt about it, you should feel an inspiration to do better next time, and you should be learning from it. If you're not learning from it, then maybe there's some judgment that is reasonable from your peers or even from yourself. It's necessary judgment. But if you're just experimenting with drinking as a young person and you're doing it responsibly, there's nothing to feel guilty about. And it's nothing to beat yourself up over.

I don't know if this was just something that I dealt with specifically because I just grew up around friends that like were really anti-drinking and had like nailed it into my head that like drinking makes you a loser. For so many years I heard that right and then it was like when it came time where I started drinking I just constantly felt guilt every time I would drink because I was like I'm doing this responsibly but like I feel guilty because of what those people said and what even sometimes the society was like I was like I was like I was like I was doing this responsibly but like I feel guilty because of what those people said and what even sometimes the society was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was I was like I was I was like I was I was like I was I was like I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I would drink because I was like, I'm doing this responsibly, but I feel guilty because of what those people said. And what even sometimes society says, because society's kind of mixed when it comes to alcohol. But I think that feeling guilty or bad about yourself for wanting to experiment with it is unnecessary. And I think that it's not a productive thought to have. Just don't do anything too stupid. Okay. As you're only allowed to go as stupid as text your ex that you miss them,

that's as stupid as you should go. And if you go a little bit stupider than that, then we maybe need to reassess here. And that's a conversation that you need to have with anybody but me. Okay, you need to go have a conversation about that with someone else. Anyway, that's today's episode about alcohol. I don't know what we learned. I don't know what we talked about. I don't really remember. So it's almost like I was drunk the whole time. I wasn't. I

didn't even have a sip of alcohol on my 21st birthday. How crazy is that? I feel like I don't know. I just wasn't in the mood. So I didn't. But anyway, that's all I got for today. Thank you guys for listening. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that you found this episode interesting in some way. Thank you guys for listening. I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that you found this episode interesting in some way. If you did, let me know. Tweet at me at AG Podcast or follow the Instagram and DM me at anything goes. Subscribe to anything goes any platform that you stream podcasts.

Leave a review if you feel like it. You know the drill. Check out my company, Chamlaincoffee.com. There's a lot of amazing stuff on there. I drink a cold brew while I record every episode. And the cold brew is made entirely from my brand. And it's delicious, so check it out. And that's all I got for today.

Thank you guys for listening. I love you so much. And I can't wait to talk to you next week. Keep being gorgeous, keep being beautiful, keep being awesome. Love you.