anything goes with emma chamberlain - alone but not lonely

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

ok sorry this ep is late but we lost the first one i recorded and i havent felt heartbreak like that since a high school breakup… anyways a lot of people have been saying how sad it is that i’ve been spending a lot of time alone, but it’s what i need right now and honestly it’s changed my perspective on things allowed me to experience things i wouldn’t have otherwise. being alone isn’t a bad thing. also i think i found a hobby thats going to stick after getting obsessed with a youtube series.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, you guys, let's just start out this episode by discussing what happened to me a few days ago. A few days ago, I recorded a podcast episode for this week and I sent it to my podcast editor and was like, all right, it's time to go hammy on this thing, like really just turn this thing out. Can't wait to hear it, you know? Anyway, he responds to me and says, this file is empty.

Like there's nothing in this file and I was like, what? So I go back onto my computer and I click play and I listen to it and there's no sound. At all. Like no sound was recorded. There's a two hour long file, but there's no audio at all. I proceed to break down and cry. Don't feel bad for me. That's not the point of this.

Okay, I'm not begging for your sympathy. I'm just telling a story. Anyway, ball my eyes out for approximately two hours. I genuinely felt an equal amount of sadness that I felt in my first teenage heartbreak, my first teenage heartbreak, which was possibly some of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

I thought I would never recover. Like the pain I felt when this episode got deleted is reminiscent of my first teenage heartbreak. And that scares me. You know, like I thought I'd never have to feel that way again. So anyway, but we're here. It's a few days later. I am posting this podcast a few days late, which I apologize for if you're listening to

this, you know, months down the line, ignore all of this. This is completely irrelevant to you. But if you wait for the episodes to come out, which I really appreciate if you do do that. I'm sorry that this one is late, but that's what happened. And it was fucking traumatizing, but we're here. I'm ready. And, you know, coming off that traumatizing experience of having a whole episode go down the drain,

I just thought it'd be fun, honestly, if I just sat and kind of talked about miscellaneous things that have been on my mind. And so that's what we're gonna be doing today. But the main topic that I wanna talk about is whether or not I'm lonely, okay? Because I talk a lot about spending time alone, why that's important.

I've even talked about how spending too much time alone can be bad. I talk a lot about spending time alone, and that's because that's something I'm very familiar with, and also something that I've been playing around with a lot over the past year or so. Because I never really spent too much time alone up until the past year or so.

I always had people around up until I was 16, 17, I lived with my parents, so I was never really alone. And then for the first few years, after I moved out, I constantly had friends around. You know, people were constantly sleeping over. I was constantly hanging out with people, and I was never really alone. And then, you know, over the past year, more and more, I've started spending more time alone. And that has led to some great things and some terrible things. One of the great things being that I've had a lot of time to self reflect, I've had a lot of time

to mature and grow. And because of my reinvigorated sense of independence, I also have a reinvigorated sense of confidence because with independence comes confidence. If you feel good completely by yourself and you're not relying on anybody else, then you feel confident. They go hand in hand. You feel like, I don't need anybody.

You know, if somebody starts treating me like shit, I'm throwing them in the trash can because I don't need them. And I'm confident and happy by myself. So I don't need anybody. And also, you know, I feel free to be who I am in front of other people because if they reject me, I don't care because I'm

comfortable being by myself. So I don't need them and I can wait for the person who will appreciate me for exactly who I am. So that's some of the good stuff that comes with spending a lot of time alone. Obviously, some of the bad things being that, you know, sometimes you can lose perspective because you're wrapped up in your own head by yourself with nobody to help bring you back to Earth. You know, you can start to feel lonely.

You can start to develop more anxiety than you might otherwise, just because you have a lot of time to ruminate, you kind of have to discipline your own brain to not think rationally and negatively at times, because again, you don't have anybody to help ground you and give you perspective. You also might focus too hard on yourself and start nitpicking at yourself, because you have so much free time to do so. I've touched on these things many, many times,

but I think it's an important refresher. You know, spending a lot of time alone has a lot of pros and cons. I would say generally it's a positive thing as long as there's balance and you still are seeing people and you still have people that you speak to on almost a daily basis But I think that generally spending time alone does a person good and

you know recently It's so interesting I've gotten to a point where And I don't know if this is just a phase or what, we're not only do I really need time alone, but I also like don't want to see anyone. Like I don't really want to see anyone. Like I don't have a desire to go out with friends, really right now. And I don't have a desire to maybe even travel with friends, occasionally for sure, but like generally,

I don't really feel this strong desire to hang out with people. And obviously, you know, that doesn't mean I never hang out with anybody. And that, that doesn't mean I never hang out with anybody, and that doesn't mean that I never want to. But I would say 80% of the time, I would rather do an activity by myself right now.

And I've been doing that a lot. I've been traveling quite a bit by myself primarily for the past month or so. And I mean, you know, there's been moments when people that I'm close with have popped into the trip. You know what I mean? Like my dad was with me for a period of my trip. For a few other little chunks of my trip, I was with friends, but I would say 80% of the trip I was by myself,

and I wanted it that way. And I make videos on YouTube. I show things that I do in a day on YouTube. And I've noticed that I've been getting a lot of comments of people seeming to be concerned about me because I spend so much time by myself and because I adventure and do things by myself. And there were a lot of people that were concerned about me and worried about me because of this behavior, you know, of me just doing most things by myself. And some people were pitting me a little bit like, God, she's so lonely, it's depressing and like whatever.

But I wanted to share an interesting perspective and concept to those who don't understand yet how spending time alone can be so enjoyable. I want to be by myself when I'm by myself. If I wanted to go and do things with other people, I would. I genuinely want to be by myself. I like having experiences by myself. And right now, in this phase of my life, this is what I want the most.

You know, I prefer alone time right now. And I think that the reason for that is that when I'm by myself, number one, I get to experience things however I want to experience them. You know, I don't have anybody else's perspective about what they think about what we're doing. You know, for example, let's say I go to a coffee shop and I try the coffee and I'm like, oh, this is really good. I'm going to come here tomorrow.

You know, if I'm traveling by myself and I'm trying out new coffee shops by myself, then when the next day rolls around, I can go there again and I can experience that again. And it's kind of all up to me. Whereas let's say I'm traveling with somebody else and we go and do the coffee shop together and I think this coffee shop is incredible.

But the person that I'm with is like, this coffee shop sucks ass. I hate my drink and we're never coming here again. This is awful. You know, now my experience and my perception of the things that I'm experiencing starts to shift, right? Because I'm also experiencing the experience

through the lens of whom I'm with as well. And as much as that can be great, don't get me wrong. Like there are moments when that is fun, and even preferred. There are definitely moments when experiencing things with others is great, you know, and even preferred. There are definitely moments when experiencing things with others is great, right? But for whatever reason, like I want to just experience things for me right now, like just for me.

And I also think that, you know, doing a bunch of things by myself helps me to, a bunch of things by myself helps me to number one, like form my own unique opinions, but also helps me grow confidence in them. And I'll explain that. Like, you know, in the past, I feel like I've always been kind of a yes man, you know. So we'll go back to the coffee shop example. If I went to a coffee shop with somebody and I loved it and they hated it, you know, I was always kind of the type of person that would be like, oh, I think this coffee shop is pretty good and then somebody else would be like,

oh, I think it's terrible. And I'd be like, yeah, well, you know, it's not the best. I think it's kind of, it's not that good. I mean, I, I didn't meet what I said. You know what I mean? I used to be like that because I was constantly just trying to mediate every situation that I was in and like make, and just like be agreeable. You know what I mean? And I never really had time to like develop my own opinions because I was too busy just like agreeing with everybody. But spending time by myself is like allowing me to create and develop and form my own opinions on things and experiences and really like solidify the way that I look at things. And I know that that sounds kind of weirdly abstract, but I think it's been really good for me. And I've noticed that now, you know, when I have conversations with people,

I'm less likely to adapt my answer to their opinion, you know? Because I've grown a certain level of confidence in certainty in my opinions on things. Because I've spent so much time alone that I've had time to form those opinions, think them through, and then have a conversation about them with somebody and stand my ground more. And I mean, I don't know if I'm kind of reaching here and this is all just making sense in only my brain,

but that's been really great for me. And the last point I'll make about this is that I think that spending time alone is similar to getting adjusted to running. I will explain. So people who are really good at running and they enjoy running. Always say that, you know, the first few months when you start running, it is brutal.

It is painful. It is uncomfortable. It is awful. You hate it and you never want to do it again. But then one day it clicks and you fall in love with it and you're like, wow, I love this. You know, you start to get a runner's high. and you fall in love with it and you're like, wow, I love this. You start to get a runner's high, when you run, you start to look forward to it, you start to get excited about it and it becomes the highlight of your day,

whereas before it used to be the worst part of your day. It is the exact same thing with spending time alone. And what's so funny about it is it's like, it's so true. It's such a perfect comparison because when you first start spending time alone, you know, your mind won't know what to do with itself. You're going to feel bored a lot. You're going to feel under stimulated a lot. You're going to start having anxious thoughts a lot more. You might start beating yourself up in a way and like over analyzing yourself and all this

negative shit, right? But then if you do it long enough and you push through the uncomfortable parts, you'll actually learn to really love and appreciate it. But you just have to do the dirty work. You have to push through the uncomfortable parts of it. And then you'll learn to really appreciate it. And once you learn to appreciate being by yourself, your friendships will be better, your relationships will be better, everything will improve as a result. And that's just what I'm noticing right now. But for some reason, I'm not really in a place

where I'm finding a lot of balance. I'm kind of in a place where I'm like, I actually really need to be alone for a month straight. And I don't know why that is. I think part of it is that I honestly, this is so weird and I've never said this in my entire life. But for the first time in my life,

I'm genuinely just craving silence, like complete silence. I've never felt like that before. I've always loved talking and constantly talking to people or listening to people talk on podcasts or listening to music or I always have enjoyed noise, okay. But recently, I just want silence.

I want to just get in my car and drive to the grocery store with no music. That's what I want to do. And I want to go for a walk and drive to the grocery store with no music. Like, that's what I want to do. And I want to go for a walk and listen to birds. Like, I just want fucking silence. I don't want anyone to call me on the phone. I don't want anybody to text me. I don't want to speak to anybody that I know. I just kind of want to be completely alone.

And I don't know why that is, but I'm just kind of gonna follow that gut instinct because if that's what I need, then that's what I need. Part of me wonders if that's a good thing. As much as independence is important, it definitely can be taken too far. Part of me wonders, you know, am I taking it too far?

Like is my desire to literally not speak to anybody for a month like toxic? I don't know But for whatever reason like it's what I need and so I'm just not gonna fight it But to touch on the overarching topic of that rant that probably didn't make sense. Per usual, you know, I don't even know what I say when I press record on my recorder at home. I like black out and I don't know what I'm saying. I don't I literally don't know what I'm saying until I listen back to it. If I decide to listen back to it,

which I usually don't anymore, actually. Because again, as I just said, I'm craving silence. So I don't wanna fucking hear my voice. That's the last thing I wanna hear. To touch on the overarching topic, which is the question, whether or not I deserve pity and whether or not I'm a lonely piece of shit. The answer is, I want this right now.

Like I want to be by myself. This is what I'm craving and like that's just what it is. Like it, you know,, I'm not lonely. Like, this is all my choice, you know what I'm saying? I'm choosing to be by myself. I'm choosing to do these things by myself. And I'm sprinkling in, you know, moments of quality time with people that I love, which I just choose to do privately

because I prefer to do that. And then that's it. And I think that the moral of the story is, you know, like, if you're a really independent person, or if you're in a phase right now, where you're really craving a loan time, don't let the outside noise of people saying, oh, well, that's so sad. Oh, that's so pitiful that you're being by yourself right now. That's so bad. Then sad. You need friends. Don't let people saying stuff like that make you feel like your desire to spend time alone is in some way wrong or fucked up or like bad because it's not bad.

You know, if the only time it's bad is if it's not voluntary, you know what I mean? Like if you're really lonely and you need somebody and you need a support system and you don't have that, that's different. Like that's, that is unfortunate and sad. And you know, it's moments like that when people need to step in and like help out and be there for you. Like absolutely. But if you're voluntarily kind of being a loner for a second and that's what you want to do, don't let anybody tell you that there's something wrong with that because for whatever the

fuck reason, people think that being independent is like a negative thing and that it's like emo or something, it's not fucking emo. Sometimes it's just necessary for growth or for, you know, recharging yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that, you know? You can be alone without being lonely. And it's more than possible for one. And for two, it's usually a very healthy thing as long as there's still an element of balance. So the moral of that, how many times am I gonna, it's like a fucking inception of moral of the story. It's like I keep being like, so the moral of

that story is, okay, so the moral of that story is, listen, bear with me, okay. But the moral of that story is, is that I am not, and not everybody who likes to spend a lot of time alone is lonely. It's important to know that that possibility exists. So, the other thing that I found about doing things by yourself is that for some reason, it opens you up in a new way to bond with strangers. I'll give an example. So when I was in New York a few weeks ago, I needed to mail something at the UPS store. If you don't have UPS stores near you, it's basically a postal service. It's like where you go to mail packages and stuff, whatever.

I woke up bright and early one morning at like six in the morning. I went online, I saw that the UPS store opened at eight and so I loved my package all the way to this UPS store. Got there at 805, they opened at eight, I got there at 805. And the door was locked and I was like, fuck. I'm standing in the middle of the street right now and I'm by myself and I don't know if this place is closed all day or if maybe the employee that's opening the store that day is late like I don't know what's going on

So I decided I would wait there for a bit and as I'm waiting this random dude comes up holding a package as well And he was like are you waiting for the UPS store and I said yes So I tell this dude. I'm like, I don't know where they are. Like, you know, I've been waiting here for a few minutes. Nobody's showing up. I'm really confused. And he was like, well, it's, you know, it's Memorial Day, but I called their corporate office.

And they said that they would be open. And like, this is so weird. Like, what should we do? Should we go walk to another place? Like, to another UPS store? What do we do? Should we go walk to another place, like to another UPS store? What do we do? As we're having this conversation, another dude walks up with a package

and he's like, you guys, what's going on? And we're like, the store's not opening, like whatever, like, and then, you know, ultimately the three of us decided that we were gonna call again. We were gonna call the corporate office again to see if this store location was opening today. And we're all standing there carrying these big boxes

like uncomfortable and like whatever. And we call the corporate office and they're like, oh yeah, they should be coming. Like the employee opening the store is just running late. So sorry, you know how the subway works, which I should have responded and been like, actually I genuinely don't know how the subway works, but that's beside the point.

And they were basically like, you know, he should be arriving any minute now to open the store, just wait patiently if you can. And so we were like, all right, so me and these two strangers waited outside of this UPS store together for five minutes, had a beautiful conversation that we never would have had otherwise. If I would have been standing outside of that UPS store with a friend, respectfully,

I would have not spoken to those other people just because I would have, by default, I would have resorted to speaking to my friend who I was with and I probably would have paid a lot less of mind to the strangers waiting with me naturally and you know there's nothing wrong with that I don't think but that's just what would have happened you know but because the three of us were all by ourselves we ended up having a really fun conversation and then more people kept showing up to the UPS store after five minutes.

They're like, by the time that the store actually opened, there were 10 people outside of this UPS store waiting for the store to open. And we all ended up having a conversation. We were talking about the differences between LA and New York and like which one we think is better. And you know, having this whole conversation. And it was actually really fun and kind of wholesome. And it was really special to see how 10 strangers could all find a way to conversate with one another in a moment of boredom, you know. And like that's something that was only really possible because I feel like we were all by ourselves. You know what I mean?

We all showed up to this UPS store by ourselves. We're kind of in a vulnerable state here and it forced us all to bond in a way that we wouldn't have otherwise. And that's something that happens a lot when you go out and go on adventures by yourself. You end up having experiences with strangers that you wouldn't otherwise.

You know, it might even be a short conversation with the Briesta and a coffee shop or the cashier at the grocery store or some random person sitting near you at a restaurant that's also eating by themselves. Like, you end up having these conversations and social interactions that you just wouldn't otherwise. And, and obviously going out and exploring with friends

can be extremely fulfilling and exciting and fun. And even social, to a certain extent, like sometimes you and your friends might go and meet new people while you're out and about whatever, like that's possible. But it's not the same as when you're by yourself. And that's the other reason why I never feel lonely when I'm exploring and doing things out and about by myself is because I always end up meeting people, you know, and I always, it's like the little cute short wholesome conversations that really fulfill me, even sometimes more than being

with my friends, and not that, you know, being with friends is bad at all. It can be really fun and it's great. But there's something about meeting a stranger and talking to a stranger one-on-one. Even if it's just for a few short moments, that's so weirdly fulfilling. You know, I can't put a finger on it, but that's the other reason why, you know, going on adventures by yourself

is never really that lonely. If you open yourself up to having little cute combos with random people, you'll feel plenty social. Another interesting development that's happened to me recently, because I've had a lot of alone time. Again, self-inflicted alone time. I am inflicting this on myself.

God bless you. Okay. Okay, again, self-inflicted alone time. I am inflicting this on myself. God bless you. Okay. I have actually developed a hobby that I genuinely think is going to stick. And it's been like a long time coming, but it's coming in hot right now. And I will explain the progression of how this happened. So basically, I recently became obsessed with this series on YouTube called Gorma Makes. It's basically a series

where this pastry chef named Claire takes a common snack item such as a Dorito chip or a Kit Kat bar or a Milky Way bar or M&Ms or Something like that and basically tries to remake it by hand and make it gourmet So you know, I started watching these innocently a lot of people have watched this series on YouTube before. It's gone viral. A lot of people have watched it. I never watched it. I'd seen like a few episodes, you know, a few years back, but I had never binge watched the whole situation, you know. But that recently became my new like YouTube obsession.

And the obsession grew to like an unhealthy amount. I was spending all moments in bed watching this series on YouTube. I could not stop. And then once I had watched all of them, I started watching them again. And then I went through probably for a third time. And at this point, I've seen every single episode, probably three or four times. And it was getting to a point where that was kind of excessive. So I started watching different cooking videos that started showing up in my Explorer page

because the YouTube algorithm quickly figured out that I'm clearly showing interest in cooking videos more than even normal. I've always liked cooking videos cooking shows, but never I've never watched them this intensely. And the YouTube algorithm was like, oh, she's going through a phase. Like this is a phase and it is strong and we need to feed it. So, you know, the YouTube homepage was giving me all the cooking videos I could ask for.

And I'm not talking about cooking videos that are like reality TV type cooking videos like I'm not talking about you know cooking shows that are more about the drama or like you know what I'm saying like I'm watching cooking videos that are like very instructional and like scientific which is again something that I had never really watched before Like videos talking about the chemical reactions that occur when you mix certain Baking ingredients or certain cooking ingredients, you know watching technical videos on how to cut vegetables properly like I

I started getting into the nitty gritty like I'm You know obviously it started with me watching this pastry chef Claire remake M&M's into gourmet M&M's, but it turned into me watching instructional videos on genuinely how to cook, which I've never really watched before, because I've always watched stuff that was more for experienced chefs. And it was always stuff that I was like, I don't really know what's going on here. I'm just enjoying watching it,

cause there's something satisfying about it, but like I'm never gonna actually make this shit, you know? And I'm not actually even really learning much from this shit. Like I'm just kind of enjoying watching the process. Or like, you know, I used to love watching cooking competitions. Like, that doesn't teach you anything about cooking. That's about the drama. Okay. But no, I have genuinely started getting into watching instructional cooking videos. And I became so obsessed with them that they were all I was watching. All I was watching.

Actually, to this day, they're all that I'm watching. Present day, all I'm watching is instructional cooking videos. And at first, I was just watching these for fun. And I was like, you know, these skills could come and handy down the line, but I probably will just continue to eat multiple tubs of hummus per day, pre-made hummus to be clear, and just like boil pasta and put pre-made sauce on it, you know.

And like maybe whip together like some sort of veggie situation that's very low maintenance max. Like that, like, you know, like that's, I didn't think that what was going to happen next would happen next. But with all this, you know, self-inflicted free time, I was like, what if I did get in the kitchen a little bit, you know? I've been watching all of these instructional cooking videos just for fun. Why don't I put like some of this stuff to work and actually try to cook like actual restaurant level meals like not Some bullshit like not You know taking pre-made soup out of a can and putting a mint leaf on top. I'm talking about making shit from scratch.

I'm talking about getting my hands dirty. It started by me making muffins. That was the first thing I made in my cooking journey. The muffins turned out okay. I made strawberry muffins. They were okay. They werenins turned out okay. I made strawberry muffins, they were okay. They weren't really sweet enough. The texture was pretty good. The strawberries weren't really that flavorful, so that was kind of a bummer. They were mediocre, but I enjoyed

the process. The next day, I was like, hmm, I'm gonna make like a fun roasted vegetable of some sort. Like that could be fun, you know, like a fun roasted vegetable of some sort. Like that could be fun, you know, like a fun, like a really tasty one. Making vegetables actually taste really delicious can be kind of a challenge. And I was ready for the challenge. So I made some roasted broccoli

with like this gorgeous tahini dressing, homemade, all of it homemade. And wow, it was so good. I used a new recipe and it was just gorgeous. And then I was like, hmm, what if I try to make some homemade sauces? Because, you know, people tend to skimp on the sauces, and they tend to buy store-bought sauces. But now that I'm on my chef journey, you know, I I'm gonna make sauces from scratch. So I made this spicy green sauce

with a bunch of fresh herbs. And again, tahini, because I love tahini. If you don't know what tahini is, it's blended up sesame seeds. Don't ask me how that tastes good, but it does. It's really good. It was like a bunch of fresh herbs and tahini, and lime juice and a habanero and salt and garlic,

whatever, it was really delicious. And I made that, and then I've been just like putting that on everything, and then I was like, hmm, I'm gonna make pesto. And I made pesto, but it was kind of watery and not very good, and I was like, hmm, okay, I'll just put this in the fridge and I'll eat it, it's fine. The next morning I wake up and I was like, I need okay, I'll just put this in the fridge and I'll eat it, it's fine. The next morning I wake up and I was like, I need to turn this pesto into something.

I'm gonna turn it into tomato sauce. So I threw some cherry tomatoes and garlic into the oven, roasted that shit, mixed it with my shitty pesto, blended it in the blender, dip my finger in it, lick my finger and it was delicious. And I didn't follow a recipe. I just won't it. I was like, I'm just gonna add tomatoes and garlic to this and roast them. And it turned out good. No measurements, no nothing.

Suddenly I had a surge of confidence. I think I have a genuine passion for cooking. And what's funny about it is that I've always liked cooking, but for the wrong reasons. Like I've always liked cooking because I like the result at the end. Like I like eating it, basically is what I'm saying. In the past, I've always liked eating what I cook

and that's why I've, you know, enjoyed the concept of cooking. But when it came down to actually cooking the thing, like putting the effort in, that I've always hated, because it takes patience. And I've never had a lot of patience for things that are time consuming.

But now that I have so much self-inflicted alone time, I actually appreciate things that are kind of time consuming. You know, because I have time to spend on these things. And so, I really want to teach myself how to cook like restaurant-level stuff, you know? Today I made a simple appetizer salad and I really wanted to make it spicy. Like I wanted to, you know, usually like when you're eating a meal like the vegetable element or whatever, it's kind of the most boring part. It's just kind of there, you know? But I

was like, I want to make this really good. So I made a salad I did butter lettuce, and I sliced up a fresh avocado perfectly green, okay, because I learned from my instructional videos that I've been watching how to find and then preserve the perfect avocado, okay. Anyway, I took butter lettuce, I did some avocado, I chopped up some dill, I chopped up some capers, I made a homemade salad dressing with lemon and dijon mustard

and wasabi and olive oil and lemon. Did I say lemon twice? Whatever salt blended that up and lemon. Did I say lemon twice? Whatever, salt. Blended that up in the blender. Ported on top of this salad. It looked like restaurant quality. And if you don't believe me, I will put a fucking photo of this stupid salad

on the podcast Twitter. So if you have a Twitter, you can see the salad. The Twitter's at AG podcast. I am getting somewhere with this. The moral of this section of the episode is that when you have all of this free time, you can really put some TLC into getting good at something. And a big part of getting good at something is doing research. And that's something that I've never had the patients for in the past. And that's the reason why a lot of the hobbies that I start kind of fall through, you know,

because I never have the energy to do the proper research. Like, with everything I tend to just want to be good at it the day that I start, and unfortunately, that's not really how it works. But I naturally, you know, just started watching these cooking videos, and then, you know, that evolved into watching these instructional cooking videos.

And then after spending probably 200 hours watching instructional cooking videos, I actually had a decent idea as to what I was doing so that I could get in the kitchen and kind of know my way around there. But without that alone time and that free time to like just surfer on the internet and see what peaks my interest, like I wouldn't have learned about how to cook and I wouldn't have been inspired to start. And I'm so into it. Like I can't stop. Like I get so excited to wake up in the morning to cook breakfast and then, you know, start preparing other foods for the remainder of the day. My goal is to cook restaurant quality meals for myself, for every meal. Because why not? That's the benefit of having time to yourself.

I have time to cook restaurant quality meals for myself for every meal, because I am not, because I'm by myself a lot. And I'm excited about it. I'm genuinely excited about it, which is so weird. Because I've gone through phases and it's never stuck, but for some reason it's sticking right now. So I'm just gonna run with it.

I'm so excited. Like I'm actually excited about like cooking stuff. The other thing about cooking that's so great, and I think the reason why so many people love it and like get obsessed with it is because, you know, it's not just like fun, you know, in itself, it's obviously the act of cooking is fun. But the other thing that is so great about it is that you get like a tangible reward afterwards. Like you cook something, it's delicious.

Now you get to eat it. Like that's a fucking hoot. And then also, you know, it's impressive to cook things from scratch and then share them with your family and friends. Like everybody's always impressed when you cook something from scratch. So obviously there's like clear room for bragging rights here. It's overall just great. But I wouldn't have taken the time to learn about how to actually cook, unless I had decided that everybody needed to leave me alone

and that I was going to spend a lot of time by myself. Anyways, I'm done. I need to go to bed. It's like 11 p.m. And recently I've been going to bed at like 8.30. It's past my bedtime. and recently I've been going to bed at like 8.30. It's past my bedtime. Sorry that this episode was kind of short. I'm not gonna lie.

My episode getting deleted that was supposed to be for this week. Genuinely, it just hurt me. It hurt me, but I hope that you enjoyed this episode for what it was. And I really appreciate you guys listening to this every single week if you do, or even just for listening to this episode. If you want to follow anything, you can do so on any platform that you stream podcasts.

If you want to leave a review, you can do so on any platform that you stream podcasts. If you want to leave a review, you can do so on Apple podcasts. I read those all the time and they make me extremely emotional. You can also follow anything goes on Twitter at AG podcast. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for supporting me. I appreciate you all and love you all very, very much. And I hope you have an amazing rest of your week, and I will see you next week with an episode on time, hopefully. And please pray for me that it does not get deleted after two hours. I love you all.

Talk soon. Talk soon.