anything goes with emma chamberlain - back to school

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

It’s that time of the year again. Some of us look forward to it, some of us dread it. Whichever situation you’re in, Emma has you covered as she shares all her tips and things she wish she knew heading into a new school year. From fitting into a social circle and finding the right friends, to dealing with new teachers, to getting involved with activities, and do grades really matter that much? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello! It is literally 7am and we're fucking on the air baby. We're on the air. Do you want to know how my morning started? I will tell you. I got up at 6.30 for some reason. My body just wanted to be awake. I go into the kitchen, I make a coffee, I come back into my room, I put it on my nightstand,

and within 15 seconds of it being on my nightstand, I knock it over, and spills all over my carpet, and my slippers, and my electrical wires. Anyway, so if my house happens to spontaneously combust, we can lead it back to the fact that I spilled coffee all over everything this morning, including electrical wires. So super stoked and excited about that. I do not know what has been possessing me to wake up so early recently, but I've been waking up so early and it's actually disgusting and scary. I wake up at like 6 a.m. every morning and I'm like, why am I ready for the day, but I force

myself to go back to sleep because I've come to the conclusion that waking up too early for no reason is actually bad. It's like cost effective because you end up having nothing to do by 12 p.m. and you end up taking a nap and it's just like not necessary. Unless it is necessary because you have something to do that early, but otherwise I don't think it's worth it. That is beside the point, what are we talking about today? So I know that it is the unfortunate time of the year where school is back in session, college, high school, middle school, the whole nine yards, everybody's going back to school. I obviously don't go to school anymore.

school feels like a very distant memory for me. Oh God, don't get mad at me for saying that. I know that that would probably be like if I was about to go to school and I heard someone say, oh school is such a distant memory for me. I would actually want to punch them in the face. So please excuse that comment. Let's just move forward and move on. But basically today I'm gonna be talking about all the advice that I wish that I listen to

when I was in school, because when you're in school, school starts to feel like your whole world. I can't explain it, but hopefully if you're in school now, you know what I mean. It's like when you're in school, the people that you go to school with and the environment itself starts to feel like your whole world. It starts to feel like your whole universe because you are there every single day and you're interacting with the same people every single day. So it starts to feel like the whole world is just your school.

Like that becomes your universe. I can't explain it, but because of how demanding school is, it becomes such an intimate part of your, that it's hard to distinguish reality from your reality at school sometimes. And because of that, I think that sometimes getting some advice can kind of snap you out of it and help put into perspective how although school is a very prominent part of most people's lives, it's also not the end all be all.

There is a world and a universe and bazillions of people outside of your school. And things that happen at school are not as big of a deal as you think. So I'm just going to give some advice today for school, going back to school, and hopefully it's useful. And if not, maybe it's even just a little wake up call, just to snap you out of your school brain, you know, and kind of keep you connected to reality in a sense, because it's very easy to lose touch with reality in school. And I'll explain why more throughout the episode, but let's get into it.

The first thing is that grades are not everything, and that it is so toxic and negative to tie your worth to your academic success. And I'll explain why. Number one, your grades in school, down to a percentage, may have something to do with what college you get into, and may have something to do with, you know, whether or not you get valedictorian at the end of the year.

But besides that, they really hold no weight. Do you know what I'm saying? Obviously, in anything in life that you do, it's good to do your best. Obviously, that is not... School is no exception. Like, working hard at school and doing your best at school, is your goal. That should be your goal.

It should just work as hard as you possibly can and do the best that you possibly can. If that means that you have straight A's, good for you, that's incredible. But if that means that you have straight C's, that's okay. That is okay. All you can do is the best that you can. And the truth of the matter is, is that it's not as important to your long-term success as you feel like it is. The truth is, you might get straight C's in high school

and just not be loving it, right? But you might get to college and feel like, okay, this is great. Now I can finally take classes that interest me. And you might start getting A's and B's, who knows? The thing about the school system is that it's very type A. Do you know what I mean? It's very stuck in its ways.

It is very standard. It's the same at every single school pretty much. And it's very based on, you know, a certain learning style that just simply doesn't work for everybody. So just because you're not retaining information as well as the person sitting next to you, doesn't mean that you're dumb, doesn't mean that you're stupid, doesn't mean that you're a failure. It just might mean that the traditional learning style doesn't work for you.

And that's okay. As long as you're doing the best that you can, you should be able to sleep easy knowing that there's nothing more that you can do, and that it's simply unfortunate that the way that school is structured when it comes to teaching just doesn't work for everyone. And I wish that I would have realized this when I was in school because number one, I tied my identity like in my worth to my grades. And I would literally look in the mirror after getting a bad grade on the test and see an uglier person in the mirror. Like that's how deep it was. Like I took it so seriously. And when I look back, I just feel like that was

such a waste of my energy because at the end of the day, I was working really hard and I was doing the absolute best that I could. And if I got a fucking D on a test, there was nothing I could do about it. So it was pointless for me to hate myself for getting, you know, bad grades every once in a while because that had nothing to do with my intelligence or how good or bad I was as a person. It had nothing to do with that. And it could simply be that the way that the teacher taught that subject was not compatible with the way that my brain learns. It didn't necessarily mean that I didn't study hard enough or that I'm not smart enough to be in that class. That's what it does, and it does necessarily mean that I didn't study hard enough or that I'm not smart enough to be in that class. That nothing makes me fucking more mad than when my alarm goes off when I'm recording a podcast.

Oh my god, it makes me like violent. It makes me want to literally punch someone. Anyway, long story short, as much as you should be trying your best when it comes to getting good grades, it's not the end all be all. It doesn't necessarily determine how successful you're going to be throughout the rest of your life. And as long as you're doing the best that you can, you should just let yourself be and be kind to yourself and just be proud of yourself for trying. Because school is difficult and I don't care what people say about how like everybody does school, you know, like, you know, there's no need for any kind of like reward or celebration, like everybody does it. So like, it doesn't need to be celebrated.

No, that's not true. Going to school every day is a mini success. Every single day that you show up to school and do your best is something to be literally celebrated because it is so emotionally hard. Number one, you know, learning is difficult in general and mentally taxing, but also the social side of school is extremely emotionally taxing. Every single day that you get your ass out of bed and you go to school is an accomplishment

and do not take that away from yourself just because everybody else goes to school and just because in some people's eyes it's not that big of a deal. The next thing that I wish I would have remembered is that there is a life after high school. There's a world outside of school. If shit sucks in school, find comfort knowing that it's not the real world. It's just a very small segment.

This kind of ties back to what I said in the beginning. School becomes such a big part of your day to day life that it starts to feel like that is the only reality that exists. The people in your school are the only people that exist. Your homework is the only challenge that exists. It's so easy to feel like school is your whole universe. And that can make things really tough when it's not going well at school, right? Maybe you're struggling to learn certain subjects.

Maybe your social situation at school is not the best. You don't have friends or your friends suck or you know, you just broke up with your boyfriend and now you have to see him in the hallways, whatever it may be. When shit sucks at school, it can make it feel like your whole world sucks and that everything sucks.

But in those moments, it's so important to remember that there is a whole world outside of school that is completely unrelated to school. It's almost like a similar sensation to how social media is. Do you know what I mean? How when you're scrolling through your phone and you're looking at what everybody else is doing,

it's so easy in that moment to get sucked into it and to feel like everything you see on your phone is real life. It's the same thing with school. When you're in school every day, it's so easy to feel like the mundane dramas and trials and tribulations of being at school are the end all be all and they are the only reality. But fortunately, the real functioning world outside of school doesn't give a fuck about

school. If you go to a coffee shop and you have a sweet interaction with someone, they don't go to your school. They're not in your classes. If you fucking do a sport or something outside of school, like a club sport or something, that has nothing to do with school. Those people don't go to your school

and like know what that's all about. You know what I'm saying? Like, try to find those moments where you can escape from the school reality. You know, like, get some distance away from your friends from school, get some distance away from your homework. Like, turn your school brain off sometimes and go exist in the real world, you know.

It could be as simple as going to a fucking bookstore and just interacting with the people that work there and the other people that are there. It could be signing up for some sort of extracurricular activity that doesn't have anything to do with your school that has a whole new group of kids. It could be going thrifting on the weekends and just talking to the old ladies that are in the thrift store. Whatever it may be, like find ways to remind yourself that there is a world and there is a community outside of the community that you're so heavily tied to at school.

I think it can really help put things into perspective because it shows you that like, you know, the fact that you're so heavily tied to at school. I think it can really help put things into perspective because it shows you that like, you know, the fact that you're fighting with your friend that's in math class is not that big of a deal. And the fact that you've got a D on your test is not gonna kill you, you know what I'm saying? Also it's important to remember that there's life after school, you know?

Like, once school is over, you don't ever have to see any of these people again. You don't ever have to learn the same things again. This is a passing moment, you know what I'm saying? And it's better to just enjoy it while you're in it and to try to make it as fun as possible and as relaxed and enjoyable as possible. You only get to go to middle school once, you only get to go to high school once and you only get to go to college once. I guess you could go to college a few times if you wanted to.

I don't know why you would, but you could if you wanted to. But you only get to have those experiences once. So, by taking the pressure off of yourself and just trying to look at it as a life experience rather than this grind to the finish line, you might find yourself enjoying it more and creating more memories. And that leads me to the next piece of advice that I wish I would have had, which is that you shouldn't be embarrassed to get involved. Like I was always kind of embarrassed and weirdly

stubborn about getting involved with my school, but to a certain extent I kind of regret not doing it more when I was in high school specifically. Like I put all of my eggs in one basket. I decided I was gonna take all of the borderline impossible honors classes. For what reason I don't fucking know? I didn't even go to college. Did I even use those classes to my advantage?

No, but I don't regret it because, you know, in retrospect, it taught me a lot about how to learn and how to have a relatively decent work ethic just because I had to be like on my shit or else I would have gotten F's and everything. But I regret not balancing my time better. I regret, okay, regrets the wrong word. If I were to do it again,

I would have taken less honors classes and stuff like that because that just ruined my life and gave me no time for anything else, besides studying and going to school. And instead, I would have tried to get more involved at my school, you know, whether that was volunteering for school events or joining different clubs, like, I wish I would have done that more.

I just didn't have enough time because of the classes that I was taking and because I was stubborn and I was like, this shit's stupid. Like, I don't wanna volunteer, what the fuck? Ew. Ew, I don't wanna, ew, I don't wanna do that. Fuck, ew. I hate my school, ew. I'm not getting involved.

I'm doing the bare minimum. So the moral of that story is lean into being at school. You know what I'm saying? It makes it 10 times more enjoyable. You meet people that you wouldn't expect to meet. Overall, I think that it's a really positive thing. And I think that if I would have done it more,

I might have enjoyed my school experience a lot more. Obviously, I didn't plan out my schedule well enough because I stacked my schedule too high with other things so I couldn't really get involved, but I really think that I should have prioritized that more and taken my ego out of it and just participated in the activities that my school had to offer because every time I did do that,

like the few times that I did get involved and I did volunteer for things or I did go to a book club type of thing or whatever, I always ended up having a good time. It was never terrible. I always ended up enjoying myself. It always ended up being fun and I always ended up meeting new people and bonding with people that I wouldn't have bonded with otherwise. I found that it was always such a positive experience. And if I would have just taken my ego out of it in the moment, I think I would have made

a lot of really cool memories. So don't be afraid to get involved and take your fucking ego out of it. You're not too cool for it. Trust me. Nobody's too cool for it. That's a very high school way of thinking and I understand that. But like, you're not too cool for it. That's a very high school way of thinking, and I understand that. But like, you're not too cool to get involved with shit. Like, if something peaks your interest, you should do it. And even if it doesn't, but you feel like it would be good for you, do it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's

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Check out Squarespace.com for more features and inspiration, and when you're ready to build your site. Use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day or I lay in bed at night

thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the state farm mobile app or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, State Farm is there. Call or go to stateform.com for a quote today. Next, dating in school is not important. You have your entire life to date, whether you're in high school or college, I think that this

applies. You have your whole life to fall in love and to like make that the center of your universe for a second. Obviously not for the whole relationship, but in the beginning of a relationship, you know, you make your significant other feel like the entire center of your universe, you know, for the time being. Eventually you get over that. And you're like, okay, back to me time. But, you know, you have your whole life to fall in love and enjoy that feeling.

And I really just don't think that there's a need to force it while you're in school. Because being in school is a lot. It takes a big toll on you emotionally. It's a lot of fucking work. It requires a lot of focus. And I really think that the best thing that you can do in school is just try to meet as many people as you can and make as many friends as you can. And don't focus as much on trying to find a significant other.

Obviously, if that falls into your lap, amazing, like don't stop it, don't like reject it. You know, try your best to make it work while in school. But don't put pressure on yourself and be angry at yourself that you haven't found your high school lover, your high school sweetheart or like your college sweetheart. Don't beat yourself up because once you get out into the real world, you graduate and you're done with school. There are going to be so many more options for you that you didn't even realize existed. And so there's just no reason to rush it now. Let people come into your life as they may. And if you fall in love with one of

them, that was meant to happen. But if you don't, then feel comfort knowing that they will come eventually. And it's actually harder to date in school than it is to date once you've graduated. Because when you're in school, you just see the same people every single day. Whereas when you've graduated and you're out in the real world and you have a job and you're doing this, this and that, you have so many more weird opportunities to meet people that you wouldn't otherwise. And that's when you end up meeting people that really align with who you are, I would say.

And that applies to friendships too. Like, once you're exposed to the real world and you're meeting so many different types of people on a day-to-day basis. You end up meeting so many cool people that you wouldn't have met otherwise. And instead of being confined to the small group of people that you know at school, the whole world is your oyster. And there are so many people that you can meet, friendship-wise, or relationship wise. Speaking of friends, the next thing that I wish I would have

prioritized when I was in school was that when it comes to having friends, it is quality over quantity. I don't know why I thought that I needed to have a bazillion friends when I was in school. It was so exhausting and it ended up causing me so much more drama than just having a small group of friends would have caused me. But I felt like I wanted to be well, like super liked in, you know, in a way popular. I wanted that, you know, I mean, I think everybody does.

And so I tried to make as many friends as I possibly could, my main friend group was a massive group of girls. I tried to be friends with everybody else too, you know, at the same time. And it made me tired. You know what I mean? It made me tired for one, but also the more people that you surround yourself with, the more potential there is for drama, the more potential there is for drama,

the more potential there is for miscommunication, the more potential there is for one rotten apple in there, like one bad friend in there that kind of slips under your nose and you don't notice. There's so much room for that, right? And I think I would have been better off just sticking to two or three friends that were drama-free and that I clicked with really well.

I think that my high school life would have been so much easier if I would have just narrowed down my friend group and just had my go-to people and then just left it at that. And that's actually something that I've recently adopted a lot more. You know, I'm not really as interested in having a lot of friends as I used to be.

Even when I first moved L.A., I really wanted to have a lot of friends and I wanted to be accepted and I wanted to have as many friends as possible and be as popular in a sense as I possibly could. Now I don't necessarily mean popular in the way that the movies portray. I don't mean popular in the sense of like being like viewed as some sort of ethereal popular borderline celebrity at school. That's not what I wanted. When I say popular, I meant like I wanted everyone to like me.

Everybody to like me. I wanted to be friends with everybody. I wanted to walk into any school function and be like, yo, what up to everyone? Like that was how I wanted to be popular. Not in some sort of mean girl way. And I wanted to be like that when I first moved to LA too, like I wanted to be like that, because it just seemed cool to me.

But now that I'm a little bit older, I've realized that that can be nice to a certain extent. But when it comes to day-to-day existence, that's unnecessary. You know what I'm saying? There's no need to force massive groups of friends with like 12 people. There's no need to force friendships with someone in your math class just so that you can have as many friends as possible. You know, just find your people that you click with best stick to them and then Otherwise just be nice to everybody and naturally, you know Friendships will blossom

But it's just Quality over quantity, you know not to mention big groups of friends in high school always end up causing drama. Like I was in so many different big groups in middle school and in high school. I was always a part of at least one big, bigger group, you know, it would be like a group of like 12 people and then little friendships would kind of spray off of that, right? And for whatever reason, when you put 12 young people together, drama is inevitable.

So yes, there was a lot of drama. And I think that that could have been easily avoided by me just politely exiting these massive friend groups and instead just sticking to one to three friends that really makes sense for me. There's actually a period in middle school and high school where I did that. And both of those periods where I just had like a few friends like two or three. Those were the least drama-filled times of my school experience.

Because when you just have a small group of people and you're all on the same page, it's seamless, it's easy, it's smooth sailing. Next, a thing that I wish I knew is that you'll never regret being nice. Okay, and it's really so true, you know, especially when I was in middle school. Like, I didn't have social cues. Like, I was a fucking idiot. You know, like, I started middle school in fifth grade. And I was still learning about how to be a literal functioning human being. And so I remember I had this like feud with this girl in my history class. I don't remember why we started hating each other, but we did. We ended up being friends after that,

but in fifth grade we hated each other. And I wish I could remember why we hated each other. And I wish I could remember why we hated each other. But I remember we would pick on each other. Like it was very much mutual. But we had a feud, you know what I'm saying? And we were like mean to each other. Like I remember we would like, we would fake. Okay, one thing that this girl did, it was so funny in retrospect, like, there's no way

that this girl's listening to this, but if she was, I would hope that she could laugh about this with me because it's funny. Like, she would, okay, so I remember one day in history class, she started like, fake taking notes about me. Okay, I don't know how to explain this, it's so bizarre in random,

but she would like stare at me, right? And then act like she was writing things down about me. Like she was observing me and spying me on me. Spying me. Spying on me. And I notice this and the next day I was like, oh, it's fucking on bitch. It is on bitch.

You're taking notes about me. You're observing every move I make and writing it down in a notebook, which makes no sense. But whatever, bitch, I'm gonna start doing it. So I remember like the next day, I got out of a tiny little piece of paper and I start like scribbling on it while staring at her. And then we just started doing this to each other.

What is that? What even is that? I don't know, but regardless, I remember once we became friends again, we were both like, we should have just been nice to each other, like, why were we being mean? And I remember that was the moment when I realized, like, you'll never ever regret being nice.

I regretted being mean and fighting fire with fire with that girl. We weren't even mean to each other, but like fifth grade mean. You know what I'm saying? Like, we thought we were being mean to fighting fire with fire with that girl. We weren't even mean to each other, but like fifth grade mean. You know what I'm saying? Like we thought we were being mean to each other, but nobody was harmed in the process. But I realized in that moment, like you'll never regret being nice and you never know who's going to be your friend on the line. So just being polite to everybody and taking that extra step to just be kind to everybody and try to be amicable.

Is that the right word? That is the right word. I always impress myself with the words that I come up with and I'm like, did I use that word, right? Like I literally have never said that word in my life. Like I'm really hoping I use it right. Anyway, it never hurts to be amicable with people. And I understand that when you're at school,

it's easy to be grumpy. It's easy to get pissed off. You know, your fuse at school is so short. You're already like pissed, you know what I'm saying? So it can be easy to lash out at people. And sometimes, you know, participate in petty petty drama because you're just already on the edge. Your fuse is already so short, but taking the extra effort to really try to be just kind

to everybody and as nice as possible gets you so far. And it also makes the whole experience ten times more enjoyable because even though it's sometimes more difficult to be nice, then it is to be a little snotty and snobby. When you're in a bad mood, it just trust me. It's so worth it because you never know who you're going to become friends with down the line. And also you never know what someone else is going through. You just will never regret being kind.

It sounds so simple, but it's not as obvious as it sounds. Speaking of that, be respectful to teachers. I was such an asshole to teachers. Like, I was such a sweet, nice student up until freshman year of high school, and then I just like went off the rails, Like, I was such a sweet, nice student up until freshman year of high school, and then I just like, went off the rails and I just started being kind of an asshole to teachers.

Like, I was the type of student that would like, correct the teacher. Like, let's say the teacher made a spelling error or like made a mathematical error or, you know, whatever wrote something down wrong, I would be the first one to raise my hand and be like, oh, you fucked up. Like you spelled that wrong.

Or like, oh, I don't think that that's the right answer. And like even though that's not necessarily like the most evil thing that you could do, like I probably just should have minded my own business and let the teacher find out on their own. I also would give teachers attitude. Like if I felt like I was graded wrongly on a test, I would go up to the teacher and be like,

this is not fucking fair. And I would like have an attitude about it. And some teachers actually respected it and like appreciated it. They were like, honestly, like, you know, you're kind of a piece of work, but like, you stand up for yourself and that's good. But then other teachers were like,

you need to fucking chill. And I think that in retrospect, I would have been better off just minding my own business. Obviously, if there's some sort of injustice in the classroom, bringing it up is crucial. You must do that, bringing it up is crucial. You must do that. You have to do that.

If your teacher graded you wrongly on something, you should go up and confront. But you don't need to do it with an attitude. Okay, everything that I was doing was fine. Like asking for a teacher to regrade my test or my essay or whatever, that's fine. Correcting a teacher on something is fine, but being an asshole about it is not, and I was an asshole. Like the way I went about it, my tone was not,

was not always the most kind. You know, and I just don't think that that was good for me. Because it made teachers sometimes not like me as much, and I think that having teachers like you is so much more important than you think. for me because it made teachers sometimes not like me as much. And I think that having teachers like you is so much more important than you think because teachers, number one, they work really hard and they're just doing their fucking best.

They're human, most importantly, you know? But also, they will be so much more helpful with you if you treat them with kindness, you know? Also, they will be so much more helpful with you if you treat them with kindness, you know? Cause I remember there are moments when I'd be like, hey, I need a little bit of help with this. And teachers would just like not wanna help me cause they'd be like, you're a fucking bitch, you know? And I'm kind of exaggerating, I think,

I think that in my memory, this was a lot worse than it maybe was in real life. I don't think I was as much of an asshole and I don't think teachers hated me as much as I'm portraying, but based on my memory, this is how it was. And regardless, I think that it's a good message to just be kind to teachers. They're human and becoming friendly with them will only benefit you. It will only benefit you. Okay, the next thing I wish I would have remembered is that prestigious colleges are completely unnecessary and a college education is just a college education.

Now, obviously I didn't go to college. I skipped that step. But when I was in high school, I was obsessed with the idea of going to a prestigious college. Why? Not for the education, but for the bragging rights. I didn't realize that in the moment, but looking back, I know now that the only reason why I wanted to go to a prestigious college was because I wanted to have bragging rights. That was it. And I busted my fucking ass to try to get into a good college. I was taking so many difficult classes. I, you know, did sports for no reason just so that I could put it on my college application.

Like I did track in cross country just so that it would look good on my college application, not because I actually even really had passion for the sports, you know. I literally had no social life. I slept for three hours a night for like two years straight just so that I could get good grades and look impressive on my college application so that I could get good grades and look impressive on my college application so that I could go to a good college and brag. That was it. That's not right. If school is your whole life and you love it and it's your passion and you know, your dream is to go to this crazy prestigious college because they have this amazing

program that will benefit you in your future. That makes sense. That's a rational reason to bust your ass. But if you're just busting your ass to get good grades so that you can go to a good college, you're better off taking your foot off the gas pedal, taking a few less hard classes and just focusing on enjoying your high school experience because trust me there are so many amazing colleges out there. A lot of them being relatively easy to get into but it doesn't matter like your success in life is not based on whether or not you go to the most prestigious

college. A college education is a college education. And you need to find what that looks like for you. That might be going to community college. That might be going to a local college in your area. That might be going to a prestigious college in your area, that might be going to a prestigious college, that might be your path. It also might be not going to college at all.

Have an open mind about college and furthering your education and don't look at it in such a black and white way, don't look at it as if I don't get into my dream school, I'm not gonna go to college, fuck it. No, you can get great educations at every college. Don't sweat. The bragging rights should be the last thing that you're thinking about when it comes to going to college.

The truth of the matter is, a lot of people, me included, wanted to go to a prestigious college because at graduation, when everybody's announcing what colleges they're going to, I didn't want to be the one that wasn't going to an impressive college. You know, I wanted to impress people because weirdly, my grades and my Success at school was like my whole identity. So I was like I have to go to like a really impressive college You know what I'm saying or else like what's the point of all of this? I just want people to respect me from this, you know But the truth of the matter is is that once graduation is over You know you never see people from your high school

again unless you want to, and nobody else cares about what college you go to. It's not competitive in the real world as much as it is in your school, you know. At the end of the day, make decisions based on what you wanna do, not based on what your classmates are gonna think at graduation because the truth of the matter is, you never going to see them again unless you want to. So don't make decisions based on anybody but you.

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and I'll see you there. The next thing I wish I would have remembered is that it's okay to want to fit in, but it's also okay to want to stand out. Like, school years are very transformative and don't beat yourself up for trying to figure out who you are. You might have moments throughout your school career where you feel most comfortable fitting in, wearing what everybody else is wearing, talking how everybody else is talking, etc, etc.

But there might be moments in school where you're like, I feel reckless. I want to kind of break out of the norm here. There are going to be moments of both throughout your school experience. And both are normal and healthy. Neither of them are wrong or bad. I remember feeling weird whenever I wanted to kind of step outside of the box when I was in school. Like if I wanted to kind of step outside of the box

when I was in school, like if I wanted to start dressing differently or whatever, I was like, ah, there's just like no room for that, like I'm gonna be judged heavily if I do. And so I just never did it, even though I wanted to. And then on the other hand, sometimes I'd beat myself up for feeling like I was trying to hard to fit in. And I should have just let myself exist comfortably in whatever way I wanted. If I wanted to dress differently, I should have just let myself do that and, you know, ignored what anyone else had to say. And if I wanted to fit in in some moments, I shouldn't have been angry at myself for being

kind of like a sheep in a way because sometimes that's an important part of your development as a human being is to actually have moments where you do try to conform to what everyone else is doing because sometimes that is exactly what forces you to look deeper and try to figure out who you are in the midst of trying to fit in. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes it can force you to be like, wait, what parts of this are me? What parts of this aren't me?

And it forces self-reflection and that's really good. Go with the flow. Let yourself go through different phases and give yourself freedom to do that. Okay, so on that note, I'm going to answer some questions. I asked you guys on the Twitter to ask me questions about just school in general. And you guys asked some amazing questions. So I'm going to answer them. The podcast Twitter is at AG podcast, so feel

free to follow it if you want, and you can participate in future episodes. Somebody said, I'm starting university at the beginning of next year, but I'm scared. I'm moving out of state, and I'm worried that I'm not going to see my family enough. I'm really nervous about taking this next step in life, like moving out and stuff. I totally understand this feeling because when I first moved out, I moved to LA, I was 17, and I was like, oh fuck, like, am I about to fuck up my relationship

with my family? Like, you know what I mean? Because at the time, I was very close with my parents, very close, because I lived with them and also because I'm an only child, so we had a very, very intimate bond as is. And I was like, is this all going to go down the drain because I'm moving out and I'm not going to see my family as often? That was not the case at all actually. I feel like I have a better relationship with my family now than I did when I lived at

home and that's because distance makes the love grow fonder. When you aren't around somebody as often, it gives you more to talk about when you do end up seeing them and it makes the time that you spend with them so much more special. I find that I spend probably more quality time talking to my parents now than I did when I lived at home. I call my parents all the time. I call both of my parents at least once a day. I would say that that's pretty rare, not a lot of people do that, but I do.

And I love it. Like I love it. I love talking to my parents on the phone. I feel equally as connected to my parents on the phone as I do in person with them even. Like, I feel like I have the same quality of conversation with them on the phone. Sorry, I'm laying down flat in my bed now.

It's just that time of the day. It's that time of the podcast, and it's that time of the day. It is 8.15 in the morning now. And I'm already like getting back into bed. That's worrisome. So I would say as long as you make an effort to reach out to your family while you're in college, you will not have any, you know, lack of connection with them. It's just about making the effort to call and to text and to check in, but it's that easy. And obviously when it comes to holidays and stuff like that, you know, when you go home and you do get to see them, it's going to be so much more special. And you're going to have so much more to catch up on. And it's really not a negative thing.

And when it comes to moving out, it's such a healthy part of your development, to move out. And obviously for everybody, timing is so different. And for some, it doesn't work out at all. But I would say that moving out is one of the first real steps that you take to becoming an adult. And as scary as it may be because it's unknown, feel comfort knowing that literally everybody does it at some point.

And you will survive. You will get through it. And you can always move back home if you need to. Like, there are options. You know, this isn't the end all be all. And honestly, I think you should be excited about moving out. The independence that you experience

and the self discovery that you experience after moving out is truly magical. And although there are rough moments, it's a really beautiful time. And now I personally love living alone. I think it's amazing. You know, I get to walk around my house and like, do weird shit.

Like if I want to go make dinner wearing no pants, like I can do that, it's amazing. But obviously, while moving out doesn't necessarily mean that you're living alone, but regardless, you have a newfound independence and that's really exciting. You have nothing to be nervous about. I totally understand why you're feeling nervous, but in reality everything will be completely fine and you're probably going to love it. Somebody said, school kills me and consumes my entire life. I get anxious and have mental

breakdowns, but I really don't think I have a mental illness. However, it's still really hard for me, even though I'm a good student. I don't know how to face this problem without getting a diagnosis, anxiety pills, etc. I totally understand this because I was in the exact same boat. Although I did have a little bit of depression and anxiety, but that's beside the point. Even in moments when my depression and anxiety wasn't as bad, I still found myself having like breakdowns and like meltdowns that were like strictly just school related. And I don't know about you know your exact situation, but what I would recommend is take some things off your schedule, okay? Lay it in your load, stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

Take a few easier classes, you know what I'm saying? Like, don't feel the need to only take honors classes and only get A's on your test. Like, create some boundaries, you know? Only allow yourself to take two difficult classes out of the seven that you take, you know? When it comes to studying, only allow yourself to study for X amount of hours per day and don't let yourself go above that,

because that's when the meltdowns come in. It's because you're putting too much pressure on yourself to be perfect at every single element of your curricular school life. Is that the right word? I don't care, I don't care. Whatever, you're putting too much pressure on yourself and you're putting too much on your plate and you're spreading yourself too thin and that's why you're having these meltdowns because you're overwhelmed.

You know, having meltdowns and anxiety about School doesn't necessarily mean that you have a mental illness It could simply be a result of your circumstance You are stressing yourself out too much and your body and mind's natural reaction is to be anxious and to have a meltdown That's just human. You know what I mean?

That's like basic human. There's not one human on the planet that wouldn't react the same way. Take some things off your plate. And I know it's hard because I know that in high school and college, even like your ego is alive. It is alive and it is working, right? So taking easier classes might hit your ego a little bit and make you feel like shit. But you need to take your ego out of your school life as quickly as you possibly can. Because it's just not that deep, you know what I mean?

Somebody said, hey, Emma, since I've been going back to school, every morning, I've been feeling the need to throw up basically nausea. Do you know anyway for that feeling to go away? I don't know. I always feel nervous before school making me skip school and having me lie to my friends. I really, really would recommend a meditation. I would really recommend waking up a little bit earlier than normal and sitting down, closing your eyes and just deep breathing for 10 minutes. Breathing really helps with nausea. It really helps loosen up, okay, I'm not a fucking doctor, so do not take my word for this, but based on my experience, it helps to loosen the chest area, which is where

a lot of anxiety presents itself, and taking deep breaths, like loosens your chest so that the nausea will lessen, and overall, you just feel more calm. So, I would really, really try meditating. It only needs to be like five to ten minutes, but it makes a huge difference, and make sure to focus on deep breathing while you're doing it, because I think that that will really help with the nausea. And then the meditation in general,

whether you're successful at your meditation or not, meaning whether or not you're able to clear your mind fully, it doesn't matter. Regardless, it'll help calm you down. Somebody said, how do I manage having a significant other and also working hard at school and having a job? I feel like I'm going to completely ignore them and make them upset. It's all about communication. This can be fixed with a simple conversation. When work in school start to pick back up, you go to them, your significant

other, and you say, listen, I just want you to know that my schedule is about to get crazy. You know, my school and work are going to consume my life. You know what I'm saying? For the next few months or X amount of time. And I want you to know that if I'm off the radar and I'm kind of MIA, it's not because I don't love you. It's because, you know, this shit's a mess. Like I'm stressed and like I will do my absolute best.

But like, you know, there might be moments and days when I'm just kind of MIA and I'm just too tired to be there. And I want you to know that it's not because I don't love you very much. It's just because of the circumstance. And the other thing that you can do is make it a routine to send a text in the morning, to say good morning, and to wish your significant other a good day, but to also send a text at the end of the day. And it can be a call, that's call or text interchangeable.

Call is actually probably preferred, but I know that sometimes that's not as easy. Reaching out at specific times of the day and making it a routine to check in at those times of the day is a great way to stay connected with your significant other while having a busy schedule. I know I have had moments where I've been really busy or my significant others have been really busy. And it's not like I have multiple or I have ever had multiple at once,

but you know what I'm fucking saying, okay? There have been moments in relationships where this has been very important, you know, in my own personal experience, like making sure to at least call them on the phone once a day, you know, if things are crazy and things are busy, and have like a good conversation because that really keeps everything moving and keeps everything alive. Somebody said, I'm going back to school as of sophomore who missed the entire freshman year because of

COVID. And now I feel like I've missed so much and I haven't made any in person friends. And I honestly feel like I'm still in middle school help. Remember, you're not alone in this. Everybody that's about to start sophomore year at your school missed freshman year too. You are not alone. And if anything, I think that this might actually help you make more friends because you already have a conversation starter.

You can be like, dude, I don't know fucking, I don't know how to talk to people anymore. Like I'm so uncomfortable. And everybody else that you're gonna meet is gonna be on the same page. They have the same experience. So don't single yourself out here, like everybody's in it together,

you guys all have the same experience. And I think it could actually help aid in bonding, honestly. I'm out of coffee. Ah, I'm out of coffee. I made cold brew last night and then I poured it all into my cup this morning and then I spilled it all over my rug and now I don't have coffee.

I'm like, do I postmate coffee? Maybe I take the day off. Oh, I can make maca, okay, I'll do that. Speaking of that, wait, this is, okay, I, please, please let me promise you that this is not a plug that I planned. Like I genuinely just remembered that Chamberlain Coffee matcha just came out.

So if you wanna pick that up, it's www.chammerlaincoffee.com. I've been using it for months, so it's not, like I'm in the routine, like I know what's going on here. But I've been keeping it a secret. But it's very delicious. Anyway, so that's what I'm gonna make today, now that I don't have any coffee left. Although I'm in more of a coffee mood than a matcha mood,

but the universe is forcing me to be in a matcha mood today, so what are you gonna do? Anyway, last question. I'm a high school senior this year, and I need advice on how to make it fun while making friends and still get good grades and do well on my exams. I want it to be the best year and minimize stress as much as possible while still being productive. The way that I would go about doing this is by taking classes that number one are not going to be too challenging. So, like, don't take all AP classes.

Don't take all honors classes. Don't take all advanced classes. Take classes that you feel like you will be able to handle a thousand percent. Take classes that you feel confident that you know you'll be able to succeed in, you know. And that I think will help free your schedule in ways that will allow you to make new friends and will allow you to have those experiences that you want. I found that in school, the biggest thing that got in the way of me having fun and me making friends and me

living my best life was that I took way too hard of classes and I couldn't enjoy myself. And I think that if I would have taken easier classes, I probably would have had a way more fun high school experience. Again, no regrets. I don't regret it because the experience was definitely a learning experience. But yeah, I mean, I would definitely do it differently now. If I were to go back to school, I would just take classes that were normal and not too hard in just classes that I would actually enjoy rather than being so challenged by them that I'm like, you know, having an anxious meltdown every day, which then gets in the way of me being able to be social, which then gets in the way of me being able to make memories. And then next thing you know, you know,

my whole life is a mess. Anyway, on that note guys, thank you so much for listening. I really enjoyed hanging out with you guys today. And I hope that if you're going back to school, you're not too sad. I think school can actually be really fun, and I have made some really amazing memories at school,

and do the best you can to enjoy it for what it is, and remember that it's not gonna last forever. So the best thing that you can do is just make the most of it now and you'll be done before you know it. Trust me. I love you guys very much. And I'll talk to you next week. And follow anything goes on any of the platforms you stream podcasts

and leave a review on Apple podcasts if you want. I really appreciate the reviews. And I'll talk to you soon. Bye. and leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you want. I really appreciate the reviews. And I'll talk to you soon. Bye.