anything goes with emma chamberlain - choosing between love and career… can you have both?

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

i've noticed that a lot of gen z and millennial people seem to be choosing their career over love. there seems to be this sort of belief within young people that you can't have both and need to choos...e one or the other. i've kind of seen this narrative float around a bit on the internet and in person and it really got me thinking: is this true? do you have to choose one? do you have to choose being in love and being in a relationship or building a successful career? or can you have both? upon reflecting upon my own life, and thinking for a while, i realized i disagree with this idea. i think that relationships don't have to prevent success at all, in fact, i think being in a good relationship can nurture success. so that's what we're talking about today. we’re going to go over why i think this is true and why it could be true for you, too.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, a lot of people in my generation and possibly the generation above me, which would be millennials, I am Gen Z. I've noticed that a lot of people in the millennial and Gen Z age are choosing their career over love. This might be something that is more prevalent in big cities like Los Angeles, where I live or New York, where I go frequently, but I'm not sure. This might be a universal thing. I'm not completely sure where this mindset resides. Is it mainly in the big cities? Is it also in more normal towns throughout the world? I don't know. I don't
Starting point is 00:00:58 know. But regardless, I've noticed that there seems to be this sort of belief within young people that you can't have both. You can't have love and a successful career. You have to choose one or the other. And I've kind of seen this narrative float around a little bit on the internet, narrative float around a little bit on the internet, a little bit in person too. And it really got me thinking, is this true? Do you have to choose one? Do you have to choose being in love and having a relationship or having a successful career? Or can you have both? And upon reflecting on my own life
Starting point is 00:01:49 and thinking for a while, I've realized that I think you can have both. And I actually don't think relationships have to prevent success at all. I think actually a good relationship can nurture success. So the moral of the story is I disagree with this idea. I feel like this narrative, that if you wanna be a fucking hashtag girl boss.
Starting point is 00:02:23 And now when I say hashtag girl boss, okay, that can apply to anyone. Girl boss can apply to anyone. I use the term girl boss as an umbrella term for anyone who is grinding, hustling, getting their shit done, making that money, having that career, you know what I mean? Like that's a girl boss.
Starting point is 00:02:47 And it can apply to anyone. Okay, so we're not just talking about girls today. We're talking, girl boss, it applies to everyone, all right, in my eyes. And this is my podcast. So I'm allowed to sort of create my own definitions because it's my podcast. You know what I mean? Anyway, I've seen a lot of this narrative
Starting point is 00:03:11 that if you wanna be a girl boss, you have to go at it alone. And again, I just don't think that it's necessarily true. I've experienced both scenarios in my life. A good relationship, helping me succeed, and a bad relationship preventing me from succeeding. I've experienced both sides of the coin. So I think that a statement like, relationships can absolutely aid you in your success would be false because the type of relationship you're in
Starting point is 00:03:47 is very important in this discussion. If you're in a good relationship, that can be very, very positive in your success, in your career. But if you're in a bad relationship, it can destroy everything. And so I think that that's something important to get out of the way now. I'm not saying that relationships in general are positive for your success. I'm saying that a good relationship should
Starting point is 00:04:18 be something that we strive for because it can be really impactful in our lives in a positive way. And it does not get in the way of our success. I'm also not saying that being single is wrong or is bad. And if you're single, you're not going gonna succeed in whatever. No, I'm not saying that either. I'm just saying that this whole idea that we need to run away from love and avoid love at all costs because it'll ruin our chances at succeeding in life and having a slay hashtag girl boss career. I just don't think that that's true at all. And so in today's episode, I'm going to talk about how a good, healthy relationship can actually enhance your success. And why I think that running away from love and running away from finding a deep connection with
Starting point is 00:05:21 a partner is something that's really valuable, can be really valuable, and it shouldn't be feared, and we shouldn't feel like if we fall in love, we're weak, and our careers are over, you know? And our success grinds to a halt because I just don't think it's true. A lot of this is based on my experience, so take it with a grain of salt, but here we go. A good relationship can enhance your success in many ways, many, many ways. The first way being a good relationship A good relationship creates a blanket of comfort around you. And that's because a good relationship has to have trust within it. If you are in a relationship and you don't trust each other, it's not a good relationship. Point blank.
Starting point is 00:06:20 That's a bad relationship. An ideal good relationship is rooted in trust. That is the foundation of a good relationship. You trust one another, you're honest, and you're open with one another, and you're loyal to one another. All of those things are included in trust, in a relationship. And when you and your significant other trust each other,
Starting point is 00:06:53 there's this level of comfort that is so invaluable. It kind of sets you free in a way. When you feel comfortable in the romantic aspect of your life, you feel safe, comfortable, reassured. You can now use that part of your brain that you used to use for trying to find the perfect bay, significant other. The part of your brain that is constantly scanning around the room, like, who am I gonna hook up with, or who am I gonna go on a date with,
Starting point is 00:07:36 or does anyone hear like me, or whatever? You can now take that part of your brain that used to go towards thinking about all things dating, all things romantic. And you can kind of put it to rest because now you have something that's comfortable, that's solid, that you can rely on, that's at home. And so you can now take that part of your brain and use it for something else. You can use it towards getting closer to your goal.
Starting point is 00:08:08 You know what I'm saying? I'll give you an example in my life. When I got into a comfortable, safe, feeling relationship, I felt like I freed up all of this brain space and I could just work on my work for so much longer because I wasn't getting distracted in the back of my head thinking about, you know, am I gonna be forever alone?
Starting point is 00:08:33 When am I gonna kiss a boy next? Like, even if it's just substanceless, like, does that boy have a crush on me? Well, I can't really date right now anyway. I don't even wanna date anyone right now anyway. But like all of those thoughts that used to run through my head were gone. And I just had all this new brain space
Starting point is 00:08:59 that I could use towards working. And that was extremely valuable, extremely valuable. And that is extremely valuable. I didn't realize how much time I spent thinking about boys when I was single until I was in a relationship that was comfortable and I was like, I don't think about boys at all anymore because I'm not thinking about all the different boys I met at a party and then whether or not any of them liked me and then whether or not I liked any of them and then contemplating
Starting point is 00:09:38 when the next time I was gonna talk to a boy was like, I, it was like all of that was gone. And it's a beautiful thing. Being in a good relationship also prevents you from participating in unfulfilling social interactions. I'll explain. When you're single, you feel the pressure to go and be social, whether that's to meet people to hook up with,
Starting point is 00:10:08 or that's to meet new friends, whatever it may be, you feel this pressure, a lot more, to go and socialize. And you might have slightly lower standards because in a way you're more alone. You don't have a person like you do when you're in a way, you're more alone. You don't have a person like you do when you're in a relationship. So you might go and hang out with people that you don't necessarily love,
Starting point is 00:10:32 but you're like, well, but I'm single and it's better to go out and be social than to do nothing at all. And at least for me, when I'm single, I party a lot more. I go out a lot more. I go out a lot more. I hang out with a lot more people and a lot of those people that I end up hanging out with,
Starting point is 00:10:51 I don't really like. I have the sense of pressure to go and be social more because I'm like, well, if I don't go and hang out with whoever's available, whether I really like them or not, then I'm just gonna be alone and like, listen, I'm cool with whoever's available, whether I really like them or not, then I'm just going to be alone and like, listen, I'm cool with being alone sometimes, so I don't want to be alone all the time.
Starting point is 00:11:10 And like, you know, and I think when you have a relationship that's comfortable and healthy and good, you have this automatic built-in BFF best front, right? And so you don't feel the pressure to lower your standards and go and hang out with people that maybe don't really align with you, don't really click with you perfectly. You don't feel the pressure to go spend time with those people as much anymore, or to go out and possibly go out in ways to hold evening,
Starting point is 00:11:42 trying to find someone to hook up with. You don't have to, you just don't have to do that anymore. You have this automatic best friend that you can spend time with and you know it's fulfilling. I think you naturally just become more choosy about how you spend your time and who you spend your time with because now you have someone who you know can fill your cup at the end of the day, and that's your significant other. And so you don't feel the need to search for that elsewhere. And I think that you can waste a lot of time searching for that elsewhere sometimes.
Starting point is 00:12:19 So I think being in a relationship can sometimes prevent you from wasting time with unfulfilling social interactions in general. That's not to say that you and your significant other aren't going to go out and party on the weekends sometimes, but because you have each other, you are less likely to stay out all night, even though you're not having that much fun. You're less likely to interact with people who you don't really like that much, because you have someone there that you can talk to instead, who's much better.
Starting point is 00:12:53 You know what I'm saying? I think that being in a relationship helps you be a lot more intentional with your energy, because you have someone there who you really love in respect and in joy spending time with. So it almost raises your standards. And the truth is, is that in my opinion, useless and empty social interaction is one of the biggest preventers of success, at least in my own personal experience. When I have been in periods
Starting point is 00:13:29 of my life, when I was single or I was in a shitty relationship, I found myself hanging out with people that I just didn't really click with, who didn't align with me morally, who kind of made me feel like shit because I was desperate for social interaction and I didn't have anyone to fall back on at home, like a significant other that was healthy and positive. You know what I'm saying? So I wasted a lot of time going to parties, hanging out with shitty people,
Starting point is 00:14:10 and that ruined my productivity because it made me feel like shit about myself because hanging out with shitty people makes you feel like shit about yourself. And it sucked out all my energy. So I had no energy because not only was I partying late at night or hanging out with people for hours and hours that sucked all the energy out of me, but my soul was drained. You know, when you hang out with people that don't fill your cup, they empty your cup.
Starting point is 00:14:44 You leave that situation drained of your spirit. You just feel empty. And that slows you down when it comes to getting shit done and working towards your career goals. You know, it's so important to be present and energized as often as you can be when you're working towards a larger goal. Also being in a good relationship gives you somebody to talk to and that might seem mundane, but good relationships in theory also live on a foundation of communication. And healthy relationships that experience frequent communication are close relationships. You and your significant other will inevitably be close if you have a good foundation of communication in the relationship.
Starting point is 00:15:52 And that closeness to your significant other will open the door to being able to talk about your work life a little bit, and vent about your work life to your significant other, and having somebody to talk to about your dreams and the things that you're working on can be so incredibly helpful when you're trying to reach your larger goals, because talking about things, verbalizing things, in an environment that is safe, and isn't necessarily a part of the world
Starting point is 00:16:40 in which you're trying to succeed in, can be so valuable. I'll give you an example. Let's say you work in nursing like you are a nurse and Your significant other is a writer their journalist, right? Those two career paths are very different so you can go and talk to your significant other about nursing and they can just be an open ear and they can just listen to you talk about it, talk about the struggles, talk
Starting point is 00:17:12 about this, talk about that. They can just be a shoulder to lean on who's unbiased, doesn't really know about the industry that you're involved in. So they just can't really get super involved, which is actually kind of a good thing. You know, all they can do is just listen to you and support you. In vice versa, when your significant other talks
Starting point is 00:17:35 about being a journalist to you, you don't know about journalism. So you just listen to them and give them a shoulder to lean on, end of story. And that's a really valuable thing. Whereas let's say you're a significant other as a journalist. If they want to go invent about their job, they can't go talk to their boss or their co-workers, because that's too close.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Do you know what I mean? That's too close because their peers who are also journalists might have a little bit of competitiveness. They know too much about the industry. They're going to start getting in their head. Their boss, obviously they can't talk to because that's a professional relationship to a T. Like you can't start venting to your boss. Like that just doesn't work that way. You're supposed to be professional and never complain and
Starting point is 00:18:30 It just it gets messy and maybe Your significant other doesn't have a close relationship with their family where they can go and vent to their family Because maybe their family is emotionally unavailable. Who knows? And then maybe your significant other is like, I just want to talk about my life to my friends. But maybe their friends are a little bit competitive with them.
Starting point is 00:18:57 And they get a little bit competitive over money or whatever, and it gets a little weird. So your significant other just doesn't talk to their friends about work, because it just gets weird. It's so nice that they can have you, somebody who is unbiased, but also on their team. That's an extremely valuable thing. Having somebody in your life who is not competing with you
Starting point is 00:19:24 and is completely the opposite is on your team, but also isn't so close to what you're doing to a point where the conversation starts getting too technical and it's not just venting anymore. It's like if you are a journalist and you go and talk to your journalist co-workers about the issues you have with your journalist job the journalist co-worker might be like well
Starting point is 00:19:52 You should start writing articles like four weeks before they're due if you want to not be stressed out about this article that you have to publish You know at this deadline. You should just start sooner. You know, why are you not starting sooner? Like, whereas going to your significant other and be like, I'm struggling with my job, they're like, oh, I'm sorry, like that's such a bummer. Like, is there anything I can do to help, you know, like whatever? And it's a lot less weird.
Starting point is 00:20:18 You get what I'm saying. A healthy relationship can also help you grow. And growing as a human being is so important in succeeding in life. You have to continue to grow, even when it's uncomfortable, even when it's not fun. The people who succeed are the people
Starting point is 00:20:43 who never stop growing. A healthy relationship will help you grow. It will, it will. Because a good relationship challenges you at times, whether it's your significant other presenting a moral conflict that you and your significant other have. And one of you has to maybe adjust their way of thinking. That's growth. Or maybe it's that you have an issue with your partner. Maybe you are feeling frustrated because even though you know
Starting point is 00:21:21 your significant other loves you and that your relationship is very valuable, you might feel like, I feel kind of neglected right now. I feel like my partner has been spending more time with their friends than they are with me right now. Like, it's just a phase, whatever, but it still sucks. And you feel neglected and you think, okay, I want to confront my significant other about this. I want to confront them and say,
Starting point is 00:21:50 I feel neglected because you're not spending a lot of time with me. You're spending your time working and hanging out with your friends. What's going on? You know, is there something I'm doing like whatever? It takes courage to confront. And every time you confront somebody, you grow a little bit, because it's so uncomfortable and it pushes you out of your comfort zone.
Starting point is 00:22:12 So no matter what the challenge is, that comes up in your relationship, as long as it's not a deal breaker, like someone cheated, someone lied, someone hurt someone, someone did something extremely morally wrong. Like as long as it's not something like that and it's just a normal, healthy bump in the road, getting through that with your partner
Starting point is 00:22:38 and coming out the other side, a stronger relationship, is a growth experience for both people involved. Working through minor issues with your significant other is a lot more powerful for your own growth than I think you realize even in the moment. But the other thing is too, is that if you're dating somebody that you really love and respect in cherish, you will find yourself feeling pressure to rise to the occasion because you admire your significant other, you're going to want to be the best version of yourself for them. And so you might start working on yourself in ways that you wouldn't
Starting point is 00:23:28 have otherwise. This very much happened to me. In my life, I've met dudes where I've been like, hmm, oh, we're dating now. Like this is fun. And I just never felt like I needed to rise the occasion to be dating them. I was just like, well, we're dating. And then after years of experiencing that, I experienced a relationship where I got into the relationship and then immediately it felt like I was looking in a mirror when I started dating them.
Starting point is 00:24:05 And I became self-aware in a way that I wasn't before. I started looking at myself through their eyes because for the first time I really respected the person that I was dating and that caused me to look at myself and reflect on myself and ask myself, am I a good enough person for this person be with me? Because I think that this person is so incredible. They chose me by some miracle. Am I a good enough person for them?
Starting point is 00:24:47 And I started reflecting on myself. And there were certain things where I was like, you know, I wanna improve in this area. I'll give you an example. The person I was dating had a very responsible sort of schedule. They woke up really early. You know, they seemed to be very productive. and at that time in my life, I was waking up at like noon every day and not starting working on things until like 8 p.m. and then
Starting point is 00:25:14 I'd stop working at like 5 a.m. and then I would go to sleep and then I'd wake up at noon and do it all over again. That was sort of my schedule and it was very dysfunctional. The person I started dating had this gorgeous schedule where they woke up at seven in the morning and then they got their work done and then they did their little workout and I was like, whoa, whoa, what? And then it inspired me and I was like, I want to be like that because I want to rise to the occasion and be a little bit more like them, you know, because they have their shit together more than I do.
Starting point is 00:25:50 And I can't speak for the person that I'm discussing in this situation. I can't speak for them. But I can imagine that there's maybe certain ways that they looked at me and they were like, oh, she's a little bit farther along than her path in this certain area. I wanna rise to the occasion and meet her there. You know what I'm saying? That's what a healthy, good relationship does.
Starting point is 00:26:16 You inspire one another to do better, to be better. And it can be life-changing. Me dating that guy literally changed my sleep work schedule forever. Like I'm never gonna go back to the way I was before, waking up at noon, working from 8 p.m. to 5 in the morning and then going back to sleep and then whatever. And like I will never do that again.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I fully broken that habit because of dating this guy and him being, he, him inspiring me. And now I wake up at six in the morning and I, and I'm living, laughing and loving and whatever, you know what I mean? And that's something that he inspired me to do. You get what I'm saying. A good relationship will force you to grow and growing and becoming a better you, there's kind of no downsides to that. Like, you can't really argue that one.
Starting point is 00:27:10 You know, it benefits every part of your life. So, you can't really fight me on that one. Another thing that a good relationship can do is give you a slight boost of confidence. And a slight boost of confidence never heard anyone, okay? Being loved and valued by another person can really help to jump start your own personal journey into self-love.
Starting point is 00:27:39 The journey of loving yourself is a journey that only you can go on, okay? You are responsible for that journey. But a good relationship can be a catalyst for that process because getting into a relationship can reassure you that you are lovable and you are awesome. And even though your goal should always be to find that feeling within yourself, if you're down in the dumps
Starting point is 00:28:10 and you're in a really bad spot with that, getting into a relationship can sometimes wake you up and be like, hey, you know what? This person loves me, for me. This person chooses me every single day. I must not be so fucking bad. Maybe I should work on loving myself more because this person loves me.
Starting point is 00:28:32 And so I want to love myself that much. It can kind of be a wake up call for you. And having self love, having confidence is so important for success because you have to believe in yourself to succeed in a way. You have to believe that you're worthy of success in order to acquire it.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And the truth is that everybody, almost, except for like really bad people who do really bad things. But almost everyone, other than evil people who do bad things, actually even those people, everybody deserves success in some way. You know what I'm saying? But not everybody feels like they deserve it. And if you don't think that you deserve success
Starting point is 00:29:23 and you're not confident that you can achieve success, then it's a lot harder to get it because you're not gonna take as many risks. And risks are kind of crucial and succeeding a lot of times. Taking risks can lead you to some amazing, amazing things. You might not work as hard, you might not feel as inspired if you don't feel confident in yourself
Starting point is 00:29:54 because you're like, well, what's the point anyway? Like, I don't really think, you know, am I even ever gonna really succeed? I don't know because like, I kinda suck ass and you know, blah, blah. I don't want because like I kind of suck ass and you know blah blah. I don't want this to get misconstrued and to me saying, being in a good relationship will give you all the self-confidence and self-love that you need. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is is that being in a good relationship can kind of be a wake up call for you, that you are worthy of feeling those feelings.
Starting point is 00:30:33 You see what I'm saying? That maybe you need to do some work there. You need to work on yourself love and your self confidence. And the reason why it's a wake up call is because your significant other loving you and cherishing you more than you love and cherish yourself can sort of prove to you. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I am not a piece of shit. Maybe I do rock because this person thinks so.
Starting point is 00:30:58 So how can I figure out how I can think so too? And that's why it's a valuable thing. But at the end of the day, it does need to come from within. What I've experienced is that a good relationship can be that wake-up call for you. But the work that you do to build your own self-confidence and your own self-love is something that will not go away even if the relationship goes away. Because that's something that you still built on your own.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Even though it was inspired by this healthy relationship, it doesn't live within this healthy relationship. So even if at some point that relationship becomes unhealthy and it's not what makes sense in your life anymore. And maybe the relationship ends. That self-confidence can last you forever. Same thing with the growth that you might experience in a healthy relationship,
Starting point is 00:31:56 that growth that you experienced in that relationship will live beyond the relationship. It will last within you throughout the rest of your life. And that's why healthy relationships can be so valuable because even if they don't last forever, the lessons that you learn while you're in it are invaluable and permanent. lessons that you learn while you're in it are invaluable and permanent. Last but not least, and I've already kind of touched on this a little bit, but I'm touching on it again. Being a relationship that's healthy and good prevents you from participating in
Starting point is 00:32:38 what some people call hookup culture, which is having a lot of meaningless sexual encounters rather than settling down with just one, just kind of going into situations with no end game in mind, right, just sort of like, well, we're just going to have fun for the evening. Now listen, there are some things about hook up culture that are very bad, in my opinion. And then there are some things about it that are really good and important. I think that going through a phase where, you know, you're just hooking up with a lot of people and just trying things out and trying to figure things out, everybody has to go through that, honestly, at least once in their life.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Actually, not everybody. I'm not gonna say everybody, but I think for a lot of people, it can be a very valuable experience, because you learn a lot about yourself. What I personally learned is that I never wanna do it again, because it didn't really make me feel very good. For someone else, they might be like,
Starting point is 00:33:45 well, I learned what types of partners I enjoy and what types of partners I don't. And you know, you might learn things like that. Like everybody will learn something different from a phase of hugging up with people non-stop. I will say though, if your main goal in life is success, participating in hook up culture can definitely make success a little bit harder to acquire because participating in hook up culture is very distracting.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Okay. It is very distracting. It takes up a lot of the space in your brain because you're constantly thinking about when am I going on my next date, when am I going to my next party? Is that guy going to text me back? But what about that other guy from three weeks ago? Okay, wait, he's not going to text me back. Okay, wait, I don't even care because I don't care.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Wait a minute. Do I kind of have feelings for this one person? Wait a minute. What about that person? Are they gonna call me? Wait, I don't care. I'm not supposed to care because I don't care. But also I kind of do care. Why are they not texting me back?
Starting point is 00:34:56 It is a huge energy sack to be living in that world. Sometimes you gotta live in that world. Sometimes you got to live in that world, and I think you can very much succeed in living that world, but it's a lot easier to focus on your career and your success when you're not focusing on that. I would argue it takes a lot less of your brain's power to be in a comfortable relationship, then it does to be participating actively in hook up culture. Because even though there will still be struggles in your relationship, even if your relationship
Starting point is 00:35:38 is the most perfect, healthy, happy relationship there ever was, there are still going to be things that you guys need to work through together. There are still going to be bumps in the road. And actually, that's crucial because that's what inspires growth. And it's important for things to have bumps in the road sometimes. The difference between the mental gymnastics that you experience in a healthy relationship and the mental gymnastics that you experience while participating in hookup culture is that in a healthy relationship,
Starting point is 00:36:10 the mental gymnastics that you are experiencing will most likely end up teaching you something extremely valuable, and it'll also leave you feeling closer with your significant other. Or it might be a sign that the relationship needs to be over and you need to move on and be single and live your best single life. Regardless, it's a little bit more productive. Like the mental turmoil that you experience when you're participating in hookup culture is more like, why are they not texting me back? Wait a minute, can we, we need to figure out
Starting point is 00:36:47 what party we're going to? And when I'm mocking this type of person in the type of situation, I'm literally referencing myself when I was living that life, okay? I was so focused on like, where I was gonna find the next dude. Where are they? Where can I the next dude. Where are they? Where can I find them and who are they?
Starting point is 00:37:07 It was such a waste of my time and I learned nothing more than wow, I never really wanna do this again. And that's a valuable lesson to learn, don't get me wrong. But that was definitely less valuable than like what I learned in uncomfortable moments in my relationship. Do you see what I'm saying? Now I know I just spewed about how relationships can enhance your success, contrary to popular belief.
Starting point is 00:37:46 But I don't want to take this too far and make it seem like I don't also see the value in being single when you have a goal in mind. Because if you can't find a healthy relationship, if you're not in a healthy relationship, if you maybe don't really care and you genuinely just don't care and you aren't interested in being in a healthy relationship or being in a relationship at all. Being single is also a great way to succeed in life, because you can fully just focus on you and your career and whatever you want to focus on,
Starting point is 00:38:37 you can be selfish, all you want. I mean, trust me, being single can be incredible as well. But I think that everyone knows that, and that's why I didn't talk about it today, because I think it's common knowledge that being single is ideal for trying to succeed in your career, or in your life in general. I wanted to talk about how it's not the only way that you can succeed in life.
Starting point is 00:39:10 You can succeed in life also in a comfortable, healthy, happy relationship. And if something comes your way, that seems like it could be really good and really happy and really healthy. You shouldn't run away from it or be afraid of it just because things are going really well in your career. You should give it a try because it might actually be able to enhance your life even more. And we shouldn't be afraid of it getting in the way. A bad relationship is a whole other story. I mean, you can still succeed even in a bad relationship. It's just not easy.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Because a bad relationship obviously ruins your confidence, makes you feel emotionally unstable, is extremely distracting. And it's miserable whether your relationship is harmless but just bad because maybe there's drama, there's a lack of openness, or maybe it's something even more, I mean, obviously, there's a lot of different types of bad relationships.
Starting point is 00:40:25 The truth is, is that you can honestly succeed in life no matter what your relationship circumstances look like. But we shouldn't be running away from love because we want to succeed. In conclusion, we don't need to be scared of falling in love. Being in a long-term relationship doesn't have to get in the way of our success in life. That's my opinion. This is an opinion piece. This is not Bible, okay? This is not, you know, how everyone needs to feel.
Starting point is 00:41:08 You know, some people just never fallen love and they just never wanted to and they never felt the desire to. Some people fall in love too hard and they can't focus on their career, even if they try when they're in a relationship. Even if the relationship is great, they can't focus on anything else but that relationship, which actually in turn makes the relationship bad. So never mind, a good healthy relationship will always enhance your career. A bad or a balanced relationship can get in the way. Whatever, undone. My brain is fried now. See, it's like by the end of these episodes, when I talk
Starting point is 00:41:53 about something for a long time, my brain actually stops working. And I know the point when it stops working, I can kind of feel it happening because I'm trying to form sentences that make sense and like words that don't fit in the sentence start showing up in the sentence and I'm like where did that word come from? You know like I just start losing it and I know when that's happening and I know when that's time to Wrap up the episode. I know it's time to wrap it up and we have hit that point because I'm no longer able to form proper sentences. So that's all I have for today. Let me know what you guys think.
Starting point is 00:42:30 I mean, listen, this is my perspective. This is my point of view. What I value so much about, you know, making these episodes of anything goes about these topics is that it's an open conversation. I'm sharing my opinion, I'm sharing my experience and although when I'm portraying, you know, the topic a certain way, it may sound like, oh, I'm just talking about this as if it's fact. Yeah, because it's kind of fact in my brain as of right now. So that's why I'm portraying it that way,
Starting point is 00:43:04 but it nothing is fact, nothing is set in stone. And I'm always open to a conversation about things and hearing your guys' perspectives, your guys' experiences, what do you think? Let me know. You can DM me on Twitter, Instagram, Instagram is at anything goes. Twitter is at AG podcast. Let me know what you think.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Let's start a respectful loving and open-minded conversation. The world needs as much of that as it can get because that's what allows us all to grow and become the best us that we can possibly be. So let me know what you think. Also go ahead and follow anything goes on those platforms if you would like to. Follow anything goes on any platform you stream podcasts. Check back in every Thursday. We always have a new episode unless I'm a little bit late because I recorded three episodes and then hated all of them and then pushed to the last minute to get an episode out which happens
Starting point is 00:44:02 sometimes. Check out my coffee company, ChamberlainCffee.com. Take up some coffee or some tea. We do coffee and tea, and we also do accessories. Lots of cute stuff. Lots of yummy tasty stuff on there. I've been drinking a cold brew this whole episode in my Chamberlain Coffee Tumblr Cup, my ideal coffee setup for recording, is my cold brew with a little bit of caramel nut pod creamer in my Chamberlain Coffee Tumblr. Okay, it's like dream come true, seriously. Go check out Chamberlain Coffee and use code AG15
Starting point is 00:44:44 if you want a little discount. What else? That's all I got for today. Thank you guys for listening. I really, really, really, really appreciate and love all of you so much. And until next week, I love you. And keep being awesome. And that's it. Okay, bye!

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