anything goes with emma chamberlain - everyone is gross and weird

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

to be human is to be gross, weird, disgusting and bizarre. we're all gross and weird. but most other people don't see us being gross and weird. it makes me shudder to think about it. however, ironically, today, i'm going to be sharing with you all of the gross and weird shit that i do when i'm alone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To be human is to be gross and weird. To be human is to be disgusting and bizarre. To be human is to poop and pee and pick your boogers and talk to yourself in the mirror and itch your armpit and then sniff your finger. To be human is to be ultimately gross and weird. And that's normal. We're all gross and weird. And that's normal. We're all gross and weird. However, most other people don't see us being gross and weird. On occasion, our family member, best friend,

or significant other might catch us being gross and weird. And depending on our closeness to that person, it might not be so bad. But for the most part, other people don't see us being gross or weird. Some of our grossest and weirdest moments usually happen alone. And there's something kind of stressful about that. I know I personally find myself feeling like, oh my God, I'm a freak and no one knows. I feel like an imposter. I'm putting off this facade to the world that I'm cool. I'm cute. I'm clean.

Actually, nobody thinks I'm clean. And nobody has since I was a teenager. When I one time said on the internet that I don't like to shower, that has stuck with me. And people have thought of me as unhygienic for the remainder of my career. So maybe my feelings are irrational because people actually do think that I'm gross and weird. So that's kind of nice. But people don't know how gross and weird I am. People don't know how gross and weird you are.

We are the only ones who are with ourselves 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to see every single side of ourselves. Our most disgusting and bizarre of moments come out when we're alone. Recently, in my moments alone, I've been finding myself doing shit that I cannot imagine other people seeing. Like truly, it makes me shudder to think about others seeing into my home, seeing into my car, seeing into my mind in my moments alone because some of the shit I do is just fucking weird or gross or bizarre.

Like it's kind of mortifying. However, ironically today, I'm going to be sharing with you all of the gross and weird shit that I do when I'm alone to make you feel less gross and weird about yourself and to hopefully entertain you and to get it off my chest. This episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by Amazon. I will admit, giftgiving is not my love

language. However, there are many people in my life who do care about gifts. Gifts is their love language. And so when it comes to gift-giving, I love a one-stop shop. And that's why Amazon is so phenomenal because it truly is a one-stop shop. I mean, you can really find everything all in one place. Whoever you're gifting for, there's something for them on Amazon. Shop Black Friday Week starting November 21st for deals on toys, fashion, home, beauty, and more at amazon.ca slash holiday shop. Trying to escape the holiday playlist. Well, it's not going to happen here.

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Visit your local travel agent or sunwing.ca. This episode is brought to you by Dyson On Track. Dyson On Track headphones offer best-in-class noise cancellation and an enhanced sound range, making them perfect for enjoying music and podcasts. Get up to 55 hours of listening with active noise cancelling enabled, soft microfiber cushions engineered for comfort, and a range of colors and finishes. Dyson On Track, headphones remastered. Buy from DysonCanada.ca. With ANC on, performance may vary based on environmental conditions and usage. Accessories sold separately. Let's begin with a story.

One of my most disgusting stories. I actually cannot believe that this happened. And please refrain from harsh judgment. Cause this story is hard to fathom and it's, it's a little weird. So just bear with me here. So I was sitting at my desk in my office working on my computer one evening around 5 p.m. Sun was going down, it was getting dark. I was like, ugh. I was sitting there at my desk working and I was starting to get a little bit distracted,

as I do sometimes after working for a few hours. And I noticed that I had a weird taste in my mouth. I think I have a tonsil stone. I get tonsil stones every once in a while. If you don't know what a tonsil stone is, let me educate you. This is a little bit disgusting, I'm warning you. So bear with me.

Tonsil stones are small, hard lumps that form in the tonsils. They're made of food debris, bacteria, fungi, and minerals like calcium. Tonsil stones are caused by debris trapped in the tonsillar crypts, which calcifies. This can often be food, although bacteria, fungi, and mucus can also form tonsil stones. They can also form due to allergies when you have an upper respiratory tract infection like the flu, common cold, or post-nasal drip. I personally get tonsil stones in my left tonsil because number one I have very bad seasonal allergies and post-nasal drip, it's mucus issues. In addition to that from inspecting my left tonsil I have a lot

of folds and creases and crevices in my left tonsil that basically are begging for things to get caught within the folds of it, right? So I have very good dental hygiene, oral hygiene, I brush my teeth twice a day, I always get good reports from the dentist. It's not that, it is that I have allergies and a particularly folded, increased left tonsil. Now, the first time I got a tonsil stone was traumatic for me. I had no idea what the taste in my mouth was because this is disgusting, but tonsil stones,

you can kind of tell that they're there. You can't feel them unless they're really big, but mine never get that big. You can taste them. And I'm very hyper aware of my body. Okay. So the second I start developing a tonsil stone, I can taste it and it's subtle, but I can taste it. And the taste of it comes in waves. It's disgusting. And I've asked people in my life, boyfriends, my parents, like, hey, can you smell this on my breath? It's disgusting. I know, I'm sorry.

And all of them have so far said no. And I know that one of them would at least be honest. All of those people, those are people in my life that are not yes men, okay? Yes women, if we're talking about my mom. They would tell me. So luckily my tonsil stones are not severe enough to cause social issues, but to me they're disgusting, okay?

And to make the matters even more disgusting, if I taste one or smell one disgusting, I will shine a flashlight into my throat and look at my tonsil. And I'll take my long acrylic nail and I'll push my tonsil throat and look at my tonsil. And I'll take my long acrylic nail and I'll push my tonsil around and look and see if there's a little tonsil stone hidden on my tonsil. Now you can see them very easily. They're not on the inside of the tonsil, they're on the outside. It's almost like having a pimple on your tonsil and it's like a white little growth. Now mine are very small usually.

Mine never get that big, which is great, but I can still find them and remove them. And removing it consists of picking it out with my nail, spitting out the excess, and then gargling with salt water until it's really clean back there, and then moving on with my day. So let's go back in time to 5 p.m. working at my desk.

I taste a tonsil stone in my mouth. I have a little mirror in my office. It's there for decor purposes, not really there for a functional mirror, but just adds a bit of texture to the room. For the first time in my life, I decide, you know, I'm actually going to use this mirror because I think I can taste a tonsil stone. And I start flashing my flashlight into my throat to try to get this thing out.

And I'm looking around and I'm looking around. And it's clearly in one of the folds or it's not big enough to see yet, you know, one or the other. So I'm like really digging in there. And I will say, you know, I have a pretty good gag reflex, like not to be weird, but like I... I can really dig my finger back there and like get in there, you know what I mean? And I'll gag a little bit,

but like I'm pretty good. I have a good tolerance for that. So I'm really getting in there. My eyes are watering. It's getting intense, okay? I'm really digging and really making myself gag, but I was like, I need to find this thing. It's really bothering me. And honestly, I was also kind of procrastinating.

I was like, I don't really want to be working right now on my computer. I'd much rather be doing something else. So let me just spend an hour trying to get out this tonsil stone that I can't even find apparently. All of a sudden, the unthinkable happens. The unthinkable happens. I projectile vomit, I kid you not, onto the floor. Actually, not just on the floor.

On the rug in my office. On the curtains in my office. On the curtains in my office. On the wall. I mean, it... I... I was in shock. Okay? I've tested my gag reflex enough. I've never thrown up. And I've pushed myself to the limit.

I thought I had it. What? Throw up all over the floor. Not just like a cute little bit. No, no, no, my entire lunch from a few hours, but it was an unbelievable tragedy. I'm glad no one else was there, okay? Cause it was a tough cleanup process. There's only one person on the planet

who I would allow to do it. It's me. I don't even think I'd allow to do it. It's me. I don't even think I'd allow my mother to clean that up. And I'd let her clean up a lot because she's my mom. And I still am like, mommy, you know, but no, that was even I that's a mess. Only you can clean up. It was unbelievable.

It was a freak accident. But it was one of those scenarios where I was like, oh my God, thank God no one else is here. Like randomly throwing up. Oh my God, I've been having like a lot of weird random throw up incidences recently, like alcohol all of a sudden making me throw up after one glass of wine, that is not an exaggeration.

Go listen to my episode about my alcohol intolerance, question mark. Apparently I have that now. That is not an exaggeration. Go listen to my episode about my alcohol intolerance? Apparently I have that now. Self-diagnosed, should probably go get it tested before I jump to conclusions. But anyway, go listen to that conversation if you want. It's an episode from a week ago or two. Insane, insane situation.

So yeah, me accidentally throwing up everywhere in my office. You know what's so fucked up too? Normally I try to remove my tonsil stones in my bathroom because that's where all of my other mirrors are. So it was like this freak accident that I was in my office where there's a rug and there's a curtain. And it's like, you know, whereas if I would have done that

in front of the sink in my bathroom, I would have done that in front of the sink, in my bathroom, I would have then thrown up in the sink, which would have been gross and whatever. And it's not ideal to throw up in the sink, but it's better than throwing up all over your, you know, beautiful rug. Luckily, that's a one-off story. Let's move on to a reoccurring theme in my life.

Walk with us. Connect to the land that connects us all. Grow with us. Come together and make space for each other. Eat with us. Taste the many flavors of our cultures. the many flavors of our cultures. Laugh with us. Smile. Joke. And bring each other joy. Come.

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Stay in the know. CBC News. So, I currently have bleached blonde hair. And in order to maintain the beautiful blonde color and not have it turn yellow, I use purple shampoo. If you've never bleached your hair or you've never been blonde and you don't know what that means, it's bright purple shampoo that you use in your hair, every other shampoo and condition session,

to basically deposit cool toned pigments into your hair to counteract the warm tones that your hair naturally want to develop. It's kind of hard to explain and it's weird, but basically, like, if you don't continue to deposit cool tones into your hair, your hair will turn warm-toned. And a lot of times, that's not what you're going for, especially if you have blonde hair. So anyway, you have to use purple shampoo. And the catch is with purple

shampoo and conditioner is that you need it to sit on your hair for anywhere from two to five minutes, right? So every few showers, I am left with five minutes to kill. And a lot of times I don't wanna shave my legs. So you wanna know what I do? I lay on the ground. I just lay on the ground in my shower. And I know that this sounds somewhat normal, but like, I need you to imagine me,

like I'm such a, I'm so lazy that instead of just kind of standing there like a normal person waiting the five minutes, I cannot bear that. I have to lay on the ground. And so I'm laying flat on the ground in the shower. And usually when I get down there, I get really cold. So then I'm adjusting the temperature every like five to 10 seconds for the next, at least for a minute out of that, trying to get the temperature comfortable. Then my legs will start to get cold,

so then I'll like lay down with my legs crunched in, and so the water's hitting my legs, and then I'll realize like, oh fuck, like I think my hair's getting wet and I don't want my purple shampoo and conditioner to wash out. So then I'm like, kind of like putting think my hair's getting wet and I don't want my purple shampoo and conditioner to wash out. So then I'm like, kind of like putting my hands under my head in the shower.

Then like my tailbone and back start to hurt because I'm like laying on the ground. So then I'll like try to sit, but then my hair's getting wet, so then I lay down again, and then I'm like laying on my side, and then I'm like, what am I even doing? Like I should probably just stand up.

Then I stand up again. Then I'm like, I don't want to stand up. I still have like two more minutes. So then I sit back down. Then I lay back down. Like if somebody were to sit there and watch me try to kill five minutes in the shower, it is a catastrophe. I need to figure out something to do.

Like I either need to get like a shower mat so that I can lay down comfortably in the shower or I need to get like a shower chair or something. I... It sounds ridiculous, but my current routine is clearly not working. And it looks fucking weird. I know it looks weird. It might not sound that weird, but if you were to be sitting there and watching me,

you'd be like, she is a fucking freak. She's, like, changing the temperature, she can't get it right, she's, like, moving every 10 to 15 seconds. Like, just fucking choose a position, you know? Speaking of lying down in the shower and it being kind of unusual, I also will lie down in random, unexpected areas of my house. Like, I'll be in my closet getting dressed, and I'll be like,

mmm, I'm tired. And I'll sit down in my closet that has some carpet in there and I'll lay on the floor in silence for like five minutes. Or like the other day, I was in kind of an emotional mood, which I hadn't been in in a while and I was feeling sort of sentimental, which is something that happens, you know, sometimes when I'm alone. And I was standing by my dining room table, and I saw my little kitty walking up to me, Declan, my little orange kitty, the boy,

my little boy kitty. He's walking up towards me, and I sit on the ground, and then I lay on the ground, and I call him over to me, and I make my little kitty lay with me on the ground and then I lay on the ground and I call him over to me and I make my little kitty lay with me on the ground for like five minutes. I'm crying, I start crying for some reason. Again, if somebody fucking watched this, I think it would be a little bit unusual.

Like I'm pretending to be a normal human. Everything is as usual. I'm in my garage, okay, another example. I'm in my garage. Okay, another example. I'm in my garage organizing my garage. My garage has a lot of junk in it and mainly stuff that I'm sent, which I've talked about this briefly before, but like you'll hear a lot of people say this

once they are in the public eye or there are any sort of public figure. The second you become a public figure, you just start getting sent stuff. And I'm even guilty of this myself. You know, like I have a brand, I've worked with brands, I've created products and I've sent them to, you know, other public figures.

Like I'm guilty, right, of doing this myself. But you end up just having a lot of stuff. So I've just a garage filled with a lot of stuff and a lot of it ends up getting donated. Some of it ends up getting kept. And so I spend time every few weeks being like, what am I donating? What am I keeping? Whatever. And sometimes I'll be doing that. And I'll decide all of a sudden, you know what? I'm going to lay down on the cold cement floor,

dusty cold cement floor of my garage. I'm just gonna lay down in the middle. Like, imagine me, close your eyes and imagine me in my garage. You don't know what my garage looks like, but just imagine me in a garage with a bunch of stuff in it. Boxes, all this stuff. Imagine me just working away, as normal, nothing too weird. And then all of a sudden just laying down on the ground.

You'd think I was possessed by something. It's very odd. It's very odd to see, but I do it and don't even think about it. So yeah, moving on. Another weird thing I do is I feel like what I wear around the house is kind of weird.

For one, I have these orange shorts, okay? They're an orange, a rusty orange pair of sweatshorts from Aritzia. They're like a size larger than what I would normally order, right? But they fit perfect. Like they're the most comfortable, they're like a little baggy,

they're a little baggy in the butt, right? Like they don't fit properly, okay? That's what I mean by they're like not the right size. Like they look a little off because they're, it looks like I'm wearing a diaper. I wear these shorts 99% of the time that I'm at home. Like right now, I'm not wearing them because it's very cold in my house

because I like my house to be cold and during the winter I just like won't turn the heater on. I'll just let it be like fucking 60 degrees in my house, 50 degrees in my house because I like it, which is another weird thing I do, which is like keep my house really cold and then walk around with a robe on and then with a blanket around my shoulders and then with a heating pad. And then it's like really weird.

It's like I'm walking around like a snowball because I don't know why I like that, but I do anyway, back to the orange shorts. Like I am constantly wearing these orange shorts. It's really hard to even get to wash them because I'm usually wearing them while the laundry is being done. I sleep in them every night. For guys that date me, I'm always thinking about it. I'm like, I wonder if they wish that they had a girlfriend

that at night would put on cute little silk pajamas and their butt looks all cute in it and maybe a little shoulder's popping out. Ooh, a little, their butt looks all cute in it. And like maybe like a little shoulders popping out. Ooh, a little shoulder. Oh my God, so sexy. So, so smoldering and like the hair is looking so, like I am wearing my fucking orange shorts and at my like sexiest, if you will,

like a fucking Brandy Melville tank top from like six years ago that just for some reason is like the perfect softness that I can't get rid of it. Like it just, I will never get rid of it. There's something about it, you know? Like that is, and it's just, nothing fits right. If I look, it's not cute, it's not flattering. It's a mess, but that is what I have to wear at home.

And you know, I work from home a lot and I work in this outfit, okay? This is what I work in because it allows me to focus and feel comfortable, you know? But if you saw me walking around, I look horrible. There's like a few little cozy outfits I have for at home that are cute, you know, I have like two sort of at home when it's really cold sort of sweat sets,

like whatever that I can wear around the house. And I wear those sometimes, and I look put together when I wear those, but for the most part, 90, let's say 95% of the time, I'm wearing those orange fucking shorts in some sort of really worn in, about to fucking disintegrate t-shirt, or like, again, at my sexiest,

a six-year-old Brandy Melville tank top. It's not that weird, but it does feel a bit weird. It's like, girl, do you have, why are you wearing the orange shorts again? Like, it's weird. It's like, it's very odd. I don't know, maybe it's not odd. Something a bit more odd than the orange shorts

and bundling up in like 15 layers around the house in a way that makes no logical sense would be some of the shit I do in the mirror. Like I'll like get out of the shower. Okay, now it sounds like, oh my God, it sounds like this is going in a weird direction. I'm not talking about, I have to see my butt all, like that's not what I'm about to say.

Although every once in a while you have to do that just to see like what's going on in there. But that's not where I was going with this. Like let's say I'm like doing my makeup or something, right? Or I'm getting dressed for the day and I'm looking in a mirror, you know, whatever. Sometimes I will suddenly become entranced, but not like by myself in some sort of like self-love way,

like, wow, what a beautiful woman. That unfortunately doesn't happen for me, but I'll become like distracted, like, huh, how am I like perceived by others? What do I look like? I'll almost pose for a photo in the mirror. I will look at what I look like when I'm posing in certain ways, or what I look like from different angles.

And I do that frequently. Like, I don't even know why or how it starts. But I will say something interesting about it, even though it looks fucking weird. Like, when I'm looking in the mirror, it's almost like I'm practicing posing in the mirror, okay? Which is not completely useless for me in my life because I do photo shoots here and there, you know, I go on a red carpet here and there.

Not as much recently because I'm not, I'm not loving the vibe. Not loving the vibe of a red carpet right now. It just does not sound ultimately fulfilling for me. So not recently, but I've had years there where I've gone to many red carpets and there's something helpful about understanding the connection between your body movement and like what it looks like in the mirror. You know, there's like a, like it's nice to understand, like oh, if I move like this, I look like that.

And it's impossible to know that unless you move around a lot in the mirror. You know, in a way it's actually been like a helpful weird thing that I do. And maybe that's subconsciously why I do it because I'm trying to teach myself movement to appearance connection, you know?

Make that connection. I don't know, but either way, it fucking looks weird. And I will say it, I think it's made me photograph better. I think I photograph better now because of this weird thing that I do. It's not like the fucking posing in the mirror that you see in a music video. Some fucking hot girl feeling herself in the mirror. It's weir the fucking like posing in the mirror that like you see in like a music video. Some fucking hot girl like feeling herself in the mirror. It's like weirder than that. It's just a bit more unhinged. I don't know, it's just cringe.

Okay, next weird thing I do, this is weird. Like some of the things I've mentioned this far, it's like, that's not that weird. This next one's pretty weird. So I have grown accustomed to a squatty potty. If you don't know what that is, it's basically this little stool-like contraption that you place where your feet go when you're sitting on the toilet to elevate your feet, probably eight inches or so off the ground,

to allegedly align your colon or something in the correct position for pooping. Basically, the reason why the squatty potty was created, apparently, was so that your body, while sitting on the toilet, could be in the proper position to let poop come out easier. Because, allegedly, sitting normally on the toilet, as though you're sitting in a chair,

is actually not the ideal position for poop to easily come out, right? Because you've got a lot of stuff going on in your lower abdomen. You've got a lot of tubes and pipes and all this. And so in order to straighten things out, I guess not straighten things out, but like create the least amount of blockage, I guess, apparently having your knees up while you're going to the bathroom is very helpful. I agree with this.

I think it absolutely makes a difference. So I have squatty-potties all over my house. But sometimes when I'm in public, I don't go to squatty-potty. They actually do sell portable ones, but I just find it disgusting. The idea of unfolding his squatty-potty, putting it on the floor in a public bathroom and then refolding it back up and putting it in my purse with all the bathroom bacteria on it. No thanks.

So what I will do is I've done this many times when I've pooped in a public bathroom, kick over the mini trash can. Okay. If there's like a mini trash can, I'll kick that over and I'll put my fucking legs up on it. One time, oh my God, I'm actually remembering something hilarious. I'm so used to doing this. I have one bathroom.

It's like, it's right off the kitchen, right off the dining room, right off the living room. It's sort of like the communal bathroom. And then I have my own private bathroom in my bedroom. And so that one obviously has a squatty potty in the whole nine. But that bathroom doesn't have a squatty potty in it. Just because I was like, it's the one that when guests come over, they tend to use. And I don't know, I just didn't put a squatty potty in that one. One time, I went pee in that bathroom.

And there's no squatty potty in there, but there is a little trash can. Now, I was just going pee, okay? And I was not alone, okay? My boyfriend was at my house. I pulled the little trash can over, I have my legs up. I literally, I do what I would do if I was in a public bathroom. I kicked over the fuck, just to go pee by the way.

I wasn't even pooping. But I just, for some reason, was in autopilot. I was on my phone doing a text, like texting somebody who was very in the zone. So I kicked it over and I had my legs up on it. And I was like peeing. I was like bent over on my phone with my leg. And of course, it's my boyfriend.

I'm very close with this person. He walks in and I'm fucking, I have my legs up on the trash. And he's like, what the fuck is, what is going on? I was like, oh, totally. So let me explain. And I had to explain this to him. I was like, okay, so like I'm used to the squatty potty

when I'm in a public bathroom, this is what I do. I don't know why I just did it right now. I'm only peeing. Like he's like, what the he's like, I can't even fathom. And I was like, I know, I'm so sorry. So um, I made myself a delicious, delicious matcha latte today that is better than usual. What a treat, and I'm just sipping on it and I'm just enjoying it. Okay, moving on. Get ready for the movie event of the year with Disney's Mufasa the Lion King. It's time I tell you a story.

A story? About Mufasa and the prince who would come to be known as Scar. So glad I brought some crickets. Bring your whole family. Come on, Mufasa. Let's get in some trouble. On December 20th, a kingdom of adventure awaits. We can do this.

We're busy. Let's hustle. Disney's Mufasa the Lion King in theaters and IMAX December 20th. The next weird thing I'll do is listen to the same exact song over and over and over again for five hours straight. Now I know like people are like, oh shit, like I got that song on repeat too, like yay. I don't, I like don't fully believe that people have songs on repeat to the extent that I do.

I am convinced maybe naively and narcissistically so, that I have like a weird, I take it to a weird level. Most people are like, oh man, I have that song on repeat. I listen to it like three times in a row. I'm like, oh yeah, I have that song on repeat. I've been listening to it for eight hours straight, four days straight sometimes. Like I will become obsessed with a song

and will just fucking, I cannot stop. Sometimes for over a week on end, over and over and over again. And I just, to me, that can't be normal. Like, I just, I can't imagine other people are doing that. I mean, I guess other people must be doing it. I'm not like a fucking anomaly, you know what I mean? But it is pretty weird to me that I can handle

hearing the same exact song over and over again for a week straight at times. It's just very odd to me. Next, when I'm alone and I remember a cringe memory or I have sort of like an intrusive thought about something that is maybe uncomfortable or embarrassing or tragic or whatever, when I'm alone, I will have physical reactions

to these things. When I'm around people, I don't tend to have those types of intrusive thoughts or like cringe memories come into my head because I'm distracted, I'm with other people. But when I'm completely alone, I will have those thoughts and I will physically cringe and twitch when I think about them.

And I'll notice myself doing it and I'm like, wow, you're like physically reacting. Like, this is so interesting. Like it's not odd odd I think it's normal to have a physical reaction sometimes to cringe or painful thoughts you know like when you think about something extreme you will react extreme it like makes sense but it's just one of those things where like if somebody were to be looking in on me all all of a sudden, like I'm like driving alone, all of a sudden I like have a full body cringe.

Like my whole body, like you see the cringe, it starts in my toes and it crinkles my nose. You know what I mean? Wherever it goes, I always know. Colby Kalei. And to me, like it just, it looks weird. It looks weird. It's like, did she just get a shiver?

It's like when you are peeing and you get a little shiver, it's like that, but I'm completely alone and it's out of nowhere. You would never know why it happened. It's like one minute I'm cleaning the garage. The next minute I'm lying completely flat on the floor in the garage. And if you were an onlooker looking at that, you'd be like, I cannot, like this is a little weird. What's going on with her? Okay, moving on. So this next thing is like kind of a funny stereotype, but it's actually something I do.

And I think this must be somewhat normal, but like when I eat by myself, I eat like a fucking pig. Okay, I just, I eat with my fingers. I'm like, I eat really fast. I like probably fucking chew with my mouth open and at the end I lick the fucking plate. I eat like a pig when I'm alone. Unless I'm like feeling cute and I'm like reading

while I eat or I'm like working on my computer while I eat, which happens sometimes too, but for the most part, if I'm eating and I'm by myself, it's pig-like, it's absolutely pig-like. It is animalistic. And I will literally physically pick up my plate and lick it. And it's hard for me when I'm like eating dinner with like my family or like my boyfriend or whoever or one of my best friends. And I'm like, I can't lick the plate with y'all. Like I've never been closer with anyone. I love you guys, but I cannot lick the plate with y'all. I can't.

I just can't. Even with you, it's too much. You know? Like there's just a certain way that I eat when I'm alone that like no one should see. And it's funny, because at times I get really hungry and I forget that I'm not alone and it kind of comes out a little bit.

And I'm like, I know you're looking at me a little weird even though you love me, you know? Anywho, last but not least, this is something that I've talked about before in an episode, but if you all could see it, you would think it was fucking bizarre. My job consists of a lot of filming myself, recording myself, for the most part, actually, filming myself, recording myself, for the most part actually these days recording myself,

this podcast, I mean twice a week we're on here, we're talking a lot. I make these episodes a lot, twice a week. And a lot of times I don't get it right the first go. So I'm re-recording stuff, I'm saying things again. So it'll be, I'll give you an example. I'll say something like, I really like candles, but candles aren't my favorite.

And then I'll stutter on something. And then I'll say, you know, I really don't like candles. Well, candles are, I really don't like candles. Well, candles are kind of, I don't like to collect candles. I'll say things over and over and over again before I get it right. You know, you have to redo things, you have to re-say things,

because sometimes you stutter, you don't get it right, whatever. But then you kind of have to say it again with the same cadence, and it's very odd. Notoriously, as you may know, if you listen to this podcast and you heard my episode about my meltdowns a few weeks ago now,

you would know that I sometimes re-record my podcast intro over and over and over again up to, I don't know, 60, 70 times, I don't remember, before I get it right and I can actually get into the flow state and start recording an episode and talking normally. Can you imagine watching me re-record my podcast intro saying the exact same thing 60 times. Pretty crazy. Like I'm like, hello and welcome back to Advice Session. A series here on Anything Goes. Like I'll like, and then I'll be like,

mm, that one wasn't good. Hello you guys, I come back to Advice Session, this is a series called Any, oh I fucked that up. And then I'll go over and over and over and over. And to watch that is to be disturbed by it. So anyway, it would be honestly interesting to like Truman show my life and like watch all the weird shit that I do when I'm alone

because I bet there's stuff I can't even remember, but this is all the stuff that I can remember. And I hope it makes you feel a little bit less gross and weird, we're all gross and weird. And if you're thinking to yourself, Emma, that stuff isn't that weird. I bet your stuff isn't that weird either. Whether you talk to yourself or I don't know, pick your nose and eat it. Those are two things I don't do but I don't judge you if you do. Okay? I still can't. The concept of picking the booger and eating it is crazy, but I don't judge

because you know what? Everybody has their favorite snacks. I have mine. You can have yours. So that's all good. Anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all. I hope that this made you feel a little bit less gross and weird. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Tune in if you want. Find Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes and find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's a pleasure to hang out and I hope that we get to hang out soon. So yeah. Okay, bye.