anything goes with emma chamberlain - getting back on track

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

a few episodes ago i talked to you guys about an existential crisis i've been going through and let me tell you it's been rough. so i decided to take a day and work on pulling myself back together and it made me feel SO MUCH better. so i'm going to share my journey with you all and hopefully help you with some tips on how to get through a rough patch or a hard time. we all go through it but there are definitely some ways to get out of it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, to jump right into the meat of it, I have been struggling with a little bit of an existential crisis recently, and I made an episode about it. You can go check it out. It's probably called existential crisis. I don't remember what I titled it, but I've been kind of battling with having an existential crisis a lot recently. And if you don't know what an existential crisis is, it's just kind of painfully pondering what the meaning of life is. And yes, it's kind of dark.

It's a little bit morbid, but at the same time, it's very normal. Everybody experiences some form of an existential crisis at some point in their life. I think it's like inevitable. And recently, I've been kind of dealing with that, you know, like what's the meaning of life? What are we all doing here? What's my purpose? Why do I, you know, have to get up in the morning? What is all of this about, right? I've been dealing with that a lot recently. And it kind of sent me into a bad spot.

It kind of knocked me off of my momentum, if that makes sense. For a while there I was doing really good. I was meditating a little bit. I was cooking and trying new recipes. I was reading books as my main form of entertainment. I was not really going on my phone as much. I was a light, easy-going energy to be around. I would hope. At least I thought so. And me dealing with this sort of existential crisis kind of sent me down the wrong path a little bit, sorry, I have mucus in my throat for some reason. Yeah, it just kind of sent me down the wrong path. I stopped cooking. I wasn't really that fun to hang out with,

I don't think, because I was kind of all over the place, like emotionally, and my confidence plummeted because I didn't have grounding rituals in my daily life. Anymore, I eliminated all of those. have grounding rituals in my daily life anymore. I eliminated all of those. And those things keep me sane and keep me confident and keep me calm, right? Like things like reading and journaling

and meditating and trying new recipes and stuff like that. Like that all makes me feel happy and makes me feel content and makes me feel content and makes me feel confident for some reason. And those things kind of drifted away. And, you know, so my confidence did as well. And my contentment did as well. And I just ended up in a really bad spot, you know what I mean?

Where I kind of pushed away all of the things that make me feel good, because the things that make me feel good are a lot more difficult to do than easy stuff. Easy stuff is like scrolling on Instagram all day, watching YouTube videos all day, being negative towards myself, being hateful towards myself, not forcing myself to put my phone down and actually live in the real world. You know what I mean? Like, going on your phone and going on YouTube and just kind of like disappearing into the best of the internet is like such an easy escape.

You know what I mean? It's such a great way to kill time. And that's kind of what I was doing. Instead of living in the moment and doing things that enrich my life, that might be a little bit more labor intensive, but actually make me really happy. Instead of doing those things, I just started becoming a robot and I just was disappearing into my phone and computer and just not doing anything that made my life feel exciting, right? And the irony of the whole thing is like, I was having this existential crisis asking myself, what's the meaning of life?

What the fuck is going on? Why are we all on this planet? What makes life worth living? You know, I'm asking myself all these questions. And meanwhile, in the background of my life, I'm doing things that make my life miserable, which is neglecting things that I enjoy, and just disappearing into the internet,

and just going on my phone all the time and just going on my phone all the time and going on my computer all the time. You know what I mean? I'm like not being present, right? So it's like, it's ironic because when you are dealing with an existential crisis or something of that sort, the best thing that you can do is journal and read books and meditate and go outside. You know what I mean? All of those things will help you find the answer, or at least the temporary answer to your existential crisis, right? But yet, when you are mentally dealing with the turmoil of an existential crisis, it's exhausting. And it might cause you to neglect all of those good things.

And the next thing, you know, you're in a double bad spot, right? You're having an existential crisis. And you've fallen off of your path. You've fallen out of your rhythm. You're not doing your daily things that keep you sane. And then you're just in a way worse spot than you need to be. And that can, you know, cause a little bit. If you're prone to depression, that can start

to cause a little depressive episode. And even if you're not prone to depression, it can just cause a moment of sadness, a moment of pain, like a moment of kind of despair and like, where do I go next, right? And I found myself falling into a kind of a depressive episode. And you're probably like, Emma, how often can one little bitch have a fucking depressive episode? Y'all, I'm asking the same question, let's not go there. Let's not go there. Listen, if it was up to me, I would never have one again, babes. Let's just get that clear, okay? I am not choosing to have these. They come in, they start to creep in,

and I can like, cut them off, right? I can cut it off before it gets bad, okay? But I bring it up a lot because, you know, the demons come back, okay? They come back, and they come up a lot because, you know, the demons come back. Okay, they come back and they come back a lot. And, you know, I'm constantly battling them, right? That's why this is a common topic for me. Okay? Because they want to come back.

But I gain my strength and I push them away and I get rid of them temporarily until they want to come back again because that's how mental health works is that it's an ebb and flow. And if I sound like a broken record, maybe you should go listen to a murder podcast or something because that's always spicy and that's always different and it never sounds like a broken record. It's always something fresh that's always different and it never sounds like a broken record. It's always something fresh in like a murder podcast. There I go getting all defensive again. Like I swear to God it's so funny.

Like I'm literally sitting in my bed talking to myself and I'm like getting defensive towards no one. So, any who, yeah, so basically I got to a point, I'm to be honest, I got to a point in the last few days where I hit a wall and it got really bad and I just, you know, like I couldn't see things in a positive light in any way, you know, and I couldn't even begin to problem solve and figure out how to get out of my slump. I just, I'd fallen so deep into the slump

and it seemed like it happened so quickly. You know, it happened in like, the span of a few weeks, right? And then it just, it all went to shit so fast. And I had to turn it around, you know, as one does, I had to turn it around. And I, as one does, I had to turn it around. And I just hit a point where I was like, all right, we got to fucking clean up our act here.

And the hard thing about that is that when you see yourself falling off of the path, right, kind of straying away from Rutz Wright and becoming lazy in the sense of self-improvement, right? Like when you become stagnant in that process and you kind of let yourself go a little bit, right? That can make you really upset and I think for everybody that makes everybody upset, right? But the hardest part in those dark moments is realizing that you need to turn it around but feeling so

shameful that you got to that point in the first place that you don't even believe in yourself. You don't believe that you can turn it around and When you tend to be in those dark places when you fall off the beaten path, that tends to fuck with your confidence, right? And when your confidence is shit, then you don't believe in yourself and you don't believe that you can turn it around.

And that's why it's such a hard thing to pull yourself out of, right? It's so hard when you're in those spots to pull yourself out of it because you're like, I don't even believe I can. I don't believe I'm strong enough. And I just feel like a loser for ending up here. You know what I mean? I feel like shit that I ended up here.

I'm embarrassed. And I feel shameful about it, you know? And you almost feel dumb even trying to turn it around because you're like, I'm a lost cause. Like, I'm just a piece of shit idiot. How am I supposed to turn this around when like, I didn't even have enough strength to prevent myself from getting here in the first place. What am I going to do? Listen, the first step is that you gotta be like, okay, I need to become friends with my ego again.

You know what I mean? Like, my ego is telling me that I can't turn this around because I'm stupid and I'm a dummy. You have to look at that ego in the face and be like, I don't believe you. You're lying to me and I can turn this around. And in fact, I can turn it around today if I want. There's no better time than right now. I'm, you know, you look at your ego in the face and you say, I'm done fighting with you. We're going

to be friends again and we're going to work together. Okay? And you're gonna stop beating me down and making me feel like shit. And I'm gonna turn this around today. You watch, bitch. And then once you make the decision that nothing's going to get in your way and that you're gonna turn it around, you're in a really good spot, but there's still a lot of work to do.

And so I'm gonna tell you what I did over the past 24 hours to get myself from a really shitty spot to a pretty damn good spot in a very short amount of time, just by taking 24 hours to get myself back on track so that I could get back into my routine and I could get back into my good healthy, strong habits. So my approach was kind of like, okay, let's take a day, one day, to really turn this around. Like, let's spend a whole 24 hours turning this shit around. And the first thing I did when I woke up was I went out and I got myself a coffee. I tried a new coffee shop. I brought that coffee home. I laid in bed and I read a book and I read this book for six hours straight. No break. Just laid in bed and read this book for six hours. And this was the this was the first thing that like I knew I could do because emotionally I was exhausted. Like, my brain had been fighting itself for weeks on end,

trying to figure out how to pull myself out of this rut, and then not believing that I was capable of doing it and thinking that I was just a lost cause, and then covering up all that pain by disappearing into the internet. Okay, so it was like this endless loop of pain, right? And that process for me was really exhausting. And so I knew that like I couldn't sit down and write in my journal, and I knew that

I couldn't sit and meditate. That just wasn't in my wheelhouse. I didn't have the energy to do that. I also knew that I didn't have energy to go outside and go on a walk yet. I was tired. I didn't have it in me to do anything but lay in bed and read a book.

And that's what I did. And I did it for six hours. And at a certain point, I had regained energy. And I was like, you know what? Actually, I'm ready to go and do something with my day. And so I decided to book a hot yoga class. Okay, I've never done hot yoga.

I don't know, like I didn't know anything about it going into it. But I was like, you know what? I want to try something new. I want to do something that's relaxing, but also physical. I felt like I needed to move my body, but I also didn't want to move my body, but I also

didn't want to do anything extremely rigorous, you know, because again, I was exhausted. And so, I needed to move my body in some way, but I needed it to be soothing to a certain extent. So, I booked this hot yoga class. And I went and let me tell you you I don't like hot yoga. I found out. I don't like it. But that wasn't the point. The point was I was getting up. I was trying something new and I was moving my body in some way. That's all that matters. Even though a hot yoga isn't my thing, I probably won't do it again. I'm so glad I did it and I left the class feeling great. I was like, okay, I accomplished something. I did this stupid hot yoga class.

I did not like it, but I completed it and I lived to tell the tale and it wasn't terrible by any means. It just wasn't for me. Like, let me tell you, I mean, we can delve into that for a second. Number one, like hot yoga is so hot. Okay. I mean, they have like heaters everywhere. And you're like doing yoga while you're profusely sweating, which is like a very self explanatory.

Yes, Emma, that is what hot yoga is. We get it. But the sensation of it is not great. You know, like doing physical movement when it's like a hundred degrees in a room is it's actually more uncomfortable than you'd expect. I'm also somebody that gets really angry when I'm overheated and that is actually a scientific thing. like if you look into it Human beings release a chemical in their body when they get really warm and it makes them irritated and it's like not Stupid weird bullshit like that's truly science. I looked into it Because I was like why do I get so pissed off when I'm hot? Like why is that anyway? there is a reason for it.

I didn't really think about that going into this hot yoga situation, you know, that like I'm somebody who particularly gets frustrated when I'm overheated and hot yoga is exactly that being overheated for an hour straight. Anyway, I also found the class to be very intimidating. Like, I've never done a yoga class. And like, all these people in this yoga class knew what was going on.

You know, they were pros, it felt like. And I just felt stupid, to be honest. But at the end of the day though like it didn't bump me out by any means even though I kind of look like an idiot in comparison to all these yogis that like go to yoga every single day and even though I didn't really enjoy it and I wouldn't do it again it just it didn't matter it didn't matter I tried something new I got out of my comfort zone a little bit and I wouldn't do it again, it just, it didn't matter. It didn't matter. I tried something new, I got out of my comfort zone a little bit and I moved my body, end of story, great.

Then I decided to go for a little walk and I went on a walk and the sun was going down and I enjoyed that a lot, you know, just going for a walk in silence. I forgot to mention that I maybe went on my phone twice this whole day. I didn't check Instagram. I didn't go, I didn't let myself go on YouTube. And something that is really interesting is actually, I always watch something on YouTube when I'm eating a meal. Like I always eat with some sort of background noise. I like to watch YouTube videos or

you know listen to podcasts or something like that. But I I just I forced myself to not do that on this day. I was like I'm gonna be fully present in the moment. And so I ate all of my meals in silence. I cooked all of my meals in silence. And that was that. I forced myself to just reflect in my thoughts, and that was it. And then I decided to write my journal. And in this journal entry, my goal was, number one, to just discuss where my head's been at, and what the current state of my head is, just so that I could have it on paper

and see it in front of me and be like, okay, this is where my head's at. You know what I mean? Because my head was feeling kind of scrambled. So I wanted to like lay it all out. What are the struggles that I'm dealing with? What in my life is making them worse? And then following that, how can I

Turn this around? Like what do I need to do to fully turn this around? What habits do I need to reinstill in my life? What people are making me feel good? What people aren't making me feel good? What about my Priorities are off. How can I shift my priorities to being better? What kind of burdens in mental being better, what kind of burdens in mental baggage? Am I carrying around that's weighing me down? How can I release that?

How can I let go of that? This journal entry was basically a combination of me figuring out where my head is at and then trying to figure out how I can move forward and basically just making a plan, you know what I mean? Like taking a look at my social life, my work life, my family life, my own relationship with myself, what work needs to be done in all of those areas?

Because I realized that as I was neglecting my healthy habits, like journaling and meditating and getting outside, as I was neglecting all of those things in the midst of my existential crisis, I was also neglecting myself, like my own relationship with myself. And I was also neglecting my relationships with people around me. And I kind of started to cut people off a little bit. You know what I mean? Like shut down. I kind of started to shut down and stop talking to people.

And so through journaling in a lot of thinking, I was able to look at all the things that have gone astray. And so through journaling in a lot of thinking, I was able to look at all the things that have gone astray and create a plan for each individual element in my life as to how I can get those things back on track. And when I wrote everything down and I looked at it all on paper, I was like, this is not really that hard, honestly. It's like, okay, Emma'm a instead of going on Instagram

You need to be reading books instead of you know, looking at yourself in the mirror and saying mean things just don't fucking say mean things, you know what I mean and Change the way that you perceive yourself make the conscious effort to change that Stop letting your anxiety take over your brain. You know, you know how to, you have the coping mechanisms to prevent anxiety, right? Use those. You know what they are. Use them.

Stop neglecting your tools as to how to deal with, you know, things like anxiety. Don't let anxiety consume you and don't be weak in that way. Like stand up against that shit and get rid of it. Stop putting band-aids on everything. Stop just disappearing into meaningless shit like the internet to blur your problems. Like you need to face them head on

because then they just fester and get worse. It's all right in front of me. It was all right in front of me. The solutions to all of my problems and all the things that I had began to neglect, they were right in front of me. You know, I know how to fix them because at one point they weren't broken, right? So I knew how to fix them. And nothing was really that far gone nothing was that severe I had only fallen off my path for a Really short amount of time in the grand scheme of life. I mean for fuck's sake so like This is this is reversible and I've reversed it before I'm gonna reverse it again

I just fell off a little bit. I just got to get back on the horse and everything will be fucking fine. And all it really took was just 24 hours to just feel back to normal. I think a big part of this is just taking the first step, which is really hard, but it is so crucial. you just have to make that First step and for me, you know, that was reading a book in bed for six hours and for me why that was such a big first step is that in my darker moment I was waking up and I was going on my phone immediately and I was staying in bed, you know, for hours after getting up. And that made me feel hopeless. So getting up and reading, which I think is something that is never a waste of time, right?

Waking up and doing something like that, it took a little bit of strength, you know, like it took a little bit of strength on my part. It took some courage to do that, but I knew that it was the right thing to do. And I knew that it was also the only thing I had the energy to do. It was my only option, but it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed. And then I read books until I had the strength to do,

the other things that I needed to do in order to get back on track. The other thing that I did was that I talked to people. I actually spoke to a therapist, which, you know, my experiences with therapy have never been great. But I was like, you know what? I'll try a new therapist. Sure. Why not? And I don't know, you know, I don't know if it's if it's the right thing for me yet. I don't know. But it doesn't hurt to try. And I can't say that our one conversation did bring some things to light for me, you know, and made me have some realizations that I wouldn't have had otherwise. So you know, although I can't say that I'm going to be a weekly therapy attendee, although it would probably do me good, I can say that that conversation helped me for what it's

worth. And I also talk to people in my life that I normally don't get as vulnerable with about what I was going through and ask them for their perspective. People that I'm close to, but that I don't tend to necessarily let into my darker moments, you know?

Like I don't tend to discuss them with those people, but I decided to open up to those people because they wanted to help me. You know what I mean? And they're close to me in my life, but they don't ever see that side of things. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to open up to them.

It's uncomfortable. I feel like they're going to reject me if they hear that I am having this issue, but I'm going to open up to them anyway because they want to help and they want to talk through things with me and they want to relate to me and connect with me over this. So I'm going to let it happen even though it scares me. And I did and that felt really great as well and that also helped me. Allowing people to help me that aren't just my parents, right? Was another huge thing that I did. And that was what I did.

And, you know, I don't know if this is the solution for everyone, right? But it really helped me. And maybe you can take a few of these things and use them in your own life. I don't know, but that's what I did. I asked you guys to ask me questions about how to get back on track after a tough moment. And you guys asked me some questions, and I'm going to answer them and give some advice.

And if you wanna participate in a future episode and ask questions and ask for advice, the Twitter is at AG podcast. So go do that if that interests you. All right, somebody said, how did not feel guilty when you're going through a rough patch for no particular reason? Like you're just going through it and not feel guilty when you're going through a rough patch for no particular reason? Like you're just going through it and you feel guilty because why do I feel this way?

You know? I totally get this. Like I was actually feeling this when I was dealing with my existential crisis situation. Right? I was like, you know, it sent me into kind of a dark spot, right? And not only did it have me questioning the meaning of life, but for some reason, you know, it also just made me negative and pessimistic, you know, and like, and just generally unhappy, right? Like pondering that question,

turn me into a really unhappy gal for a second. But I was looking at it and I was looking at the bigger picture, right? Even while I was in the midst of that pain and I was like, I have a great life. Why does it not feel great? Like I have nothing to fucking complain about. I don't deserve to feel this way.

You know, like I felt so shameful. I was like, I don't deserve to feel like this. I have nothing to fucking complain about. Why am I complaining? You know what I mean? Like why am I upset? Why am I questioning the meaning of like, why is all of this happening when I should be fine? I don't feel like I deserve to complain. But the truth of the matter is, is that everything is relative. And you have to remember

that when you're dealing with this type of struggle, every personal experience for you, Every individual's experience is simply their own. And it doesn't, you know, your own personal experience on this planet doesn't take away from other people's experiences. It doesn't affect other people's experiences. It's simply your own. It is completely your own, and it's only relative to your own experience. You see what I'm saying? So, like, something that causes you pain, you know, might seem like a stupid little petty issue to someone else. But it doesn't matter because how something affects you is not up to you and you can't fight it. You can't fight how something makes you feel because unfortunately you're going to feel

it regardless whether you fight against it or you accept it. So what you have to do is and what I've been trying to do is accepting the fact that I'm going through a rough patch, accepting that I'm going through a moment where I need to sort some things out, and accepting that that's uncomfortable for me, that is uncomfortable for me, and I am having a shitty fucking time doing it. Accepting that is weirdly calming, and it actually alleviates the discomfort by quite a bit. Pushing it away and feeling guilty about your own pain only makes it worse. Nobody's asking you to feel guilty for feeling upset.

And anybody who is an idiot and you shouldn't talk to them or hang out with them or be around them because they don't get it. They don't understand the human condition, which is, I farted. Okay. I'm like, do I say that again or do I just leave whatever? Hopefully you didn't hear it. I'm getting too comfortable, you guys. What is going on?

I just forgot that I farted until like halfway through my fart. This happens to me too frequently. Anyway, turn that guilt into acceptance that you're allowed to feel however you feel. You're allowed to feel that way. And the way that you feel is completely valid. Even if you kind of feel like you're overreacting, fuck all that. If you feel a certain way, that's just the way that you feel.

Accept it. Somebody said, what do you do when you feel drained all the time, even after just taking a shower, et cetera? This was something that definitely happened to me. It happens to me frequently when I'm going through a tougher time is that I definitely do neglect my hygiene. Like that's one of the first things that goes, right? It's like, first it's the hygiene,

then it's the reading the books that goes away, and then it's, then the meditating starts to go, it's like everything kind of goes away, like one by one, right? And then I'm left in a shitty spot. Hygiene is definitely one of them. I don't necessarily have a solution for this because when I'm in a tough spot

and I just can't get myself to shower and You know, I can't get myself to Take care of my hygiene I don't force myself to do it. I just don't because if I don't want to do it I'm just I'm not gonna do it But what I will say is that something that has helped me a little bit in the past is Trying to come up with something that has helped me a little bit in the past is trying to come up with something that will get me out of bed that excites me in sounds inviting

that isn't like showering, for example, or isn't brushing my teeth or isn't washing my face or isn't shaving my legs. I'll try to think of something else that will get me out of bed. And that might be getting up and getting a snack. Like oh, I'll make myself like a yummy snack. That'll get me out of bed. And that might be getting up and getting a snack. Like, oh, I'll make myself like a yummy snack. That'll get me out of bed. And then that gets the ball moving. And then I'm like, okay, I've had a snack.

I had a glass of water. You know what, maybe I will get in the shower now. But if you're stuck in bed and you're feeling like shit, and you're just scrolling through Instagram and you're like, I don't want to do anything, the last thing you're going to want to do is force yourself to shower when that's the I don't want to do anything. The last thing you're going to want to do is force yourself to shower when that's the last thing you want to do.

And so the thought of getting out of bed is so daunting, you know, because you're like, if I get out of bed, I have to go shower and I don't want to do that. So tempt yourself with something else that's exciting. Like, oh, I'll make myself a fun little snack or I'll go and go for a walk even though I smell like shit, who cares? Nobody can smell me because I'm outside by myself, like it's fine. And if somebody starts to get close to me, I will cross the street so that nobody smells me, you know what I mean? And then once you go on a walk, maybe that'll be the thing that sets things in motion.

And then you might be like, okay, now I can actually go take a shower because I'm up and I broke this cycle. It's really important to break the cycle in some way, right? I mentioned this earlier, but you have to break the toxic cycle of using your unhealthy coping mechanisms, which might be going on Instagram, might be going on YouTube, might be going on TikTok, you know, it might be looking

in the mirror and saying mean things to yourself or, you know, becoming obsessive about shit, like whether you're obsessive about, you know about organizing or how you look, you have to break the cycle and turn those things off for a second and get yourself to do anything but those negative things. It could be anything as long as it's not negative. Just find one thing and then get the ball rolling and then you will start to regain the energy to do things like shower. Somebody said, how to not or try not to let small things affect you when you're trying to get back up.

Sometimes a minor inconvenience will happen and it'll bring me all the way back down. Totally, this happened to me multiple times before I made the decision and hit really rock bottom where I was like, okay, I really need to actually turn this around because I'm really getting into a really dark spot. Like, I was in a dark spot before, but like, now I'm in a getting to a point where it's too dark, right? I really need to turn this around now. In the moments leading up to me hitting the turning point, right?

I kept trying to get myself back on track, but then one little thing would knock me off my path, right? A good example would be like, one day I spent half the day in bed and then I was like, okay, I'm going gonna go cook a recipe. And I opened the fridge to get out the ingredients and like half of the ingredients were rotten. And I was like, fuck, okay? And so I was like, you know what, fuck this, I'm going back into bed. And so I just went back into bed. But what I should have done truly, and even though, you know, I'm literally like, I'm giving my past self advice, I really should have forced myself to just go to the grocery

store and do it anyway. Get all the ingredients again and force myself to do it. I should have forced myself to do it because that would have been the first step. And I know that now because I'm in a much more rational state, right? I know now that like if I would have gone to the grocery store and I would have pushed through that minor inconvenience, it would have, you know, gotten me back into rhythm much sooner.

And I think that remembering that doing something that seems really hard when you're in a dark spot that normally seems so easy, like going to the grocery store or taking a shower or picking up a book and reading it, The stuff that feels really hard in those moments are exactly what you should be doing, because here's what happens. A minor inconvenience sets you off and makes you just want to give up, right? But if you problem solve, and despite the minor inconvenience, you managed to accomplish that thing that felt so hard. For me, it was cooking that recipe, right? If I would have just went to the store, got the ingredients and cooked that recipe.

At the end of it, I would have a burst of confidence because I would have shown myself that I was able to overcome my own discomfort and that my demons and my dark energy in my brain did not win. It lost. And that would help me rebuild my confidence in myself that I am capable of doing these small little tasks that seem impossible. I am capable of doing those.

And I did. And then once you get that burst of confidence, your energy starts to come back. Someone said, I really want to get back into routine and start exercising again, but I'm very stressed with school, work, and so much other stuff that it feels like I have no time. But when I do have time,

I feel like I'm always wasting it or I'm being unproductive. Tips on getting out of a slump. The first thing that you need to address is your stress because you being stressed out about school is making you so exhausted that when you do have free time, you don't have energy to do anything except for sinking to your bed because you're spending all hours of the day stressing out about school 24-7 and work whatever you're stressed out about because you're stressed out about something your mind is constantly working on that it's

constantly thinking on that and it's making itself exhausted so that you can't use your free time in ways that make you happy and so the first thing that you can't use your free time in ways that make you happy. And so the first thing that you need to do is address the stress. What can you do to alleviate your stress? At least by 50%. What can you do to make your life a little bit less stressful? Get out of journal, make a plan. Let's say with school, you're like,

studying is so overwhelming for me. I never feel like I'm being efficient when I'm studying. I don't ever feel prepared for tests and I don't know what to do. That's stressing you out. The fact that you feel like you don't have a strategy when it comes to studying for tests. Without a journal and map out a plan of how you want to structure your studying time for

school, you know, maybe that means changing the way that you take notes in class. Maybe that's changing, you know, the frequency of how you study. Instead of studying for six hours the night before, you start studying two weeks in advance for only 15 minutes a day. You set a timer and that's it. You know, start brainstorming how you can make these inevitable situations in your life like working school more tolerable and less stressful, so that your brain can be a little bit more at ease,

so that when you do have free time, instead of being completely exhausted by your stress, you feel energized because school and work isn't draining you as much, because you have a structure in place that makes it more workable and makes it less stressful. You'll have the energy to exercise and you'll have the energy to figure out a routine and you'll have the energy and excitement to do those things and you won't be so drained

that you can't even begin. Somebody said, any habits to help stop negative self-talk It usually just ends up getting into a cycle and it's very hard for me to pick myself up The first step is you need to get off your phone. I don't know what it is But being on my phone being on Instagram Being on YouTube all of that shit makes my self esteem so much fucking worse. I don't think it's avoidable. You know, it's out of our control at this point.

It's a fucking monster. And it can be used for great, you know what I mean? It totally can. And there's so many great things about the internet. I learn things daily on the internet. I'm inspired by things daily on the internet. But when you're on it too much and you don't have a balance between your real life and

your phone life, for whatever reason, that can really make yourself a seamless because when you start to see too much of what other people are doing, it's so overstimulating. You're seeing what so many people are doing at once. It's impossible to not start to compare yourself to what other people are doing and what they look like and what they're wearing. You know, you have to put that shit down when it starts to be too much

and you have to know your limits. That's how I always, you know, that's first step for stopping negative self-talk for me. But then step two is to immerse yourself in things that make you feel good and help build your confidence, whether that's leaning into your hobbies or, you know, disappearing into a book that makes you feel good or moving your body in some way, doing some fun form of exercise, hanging out with friends that make you feel good and that boost your confidence and excitement for life, like whatever it may be, be present in the real world without the

internet in some way that uplifts you. And it'll make you realize that number one, you're not a bad person. You are not an ugly person. You're not boring, you're not a loser. All of that is just your brain's response to being overstimulated by the internet and seeing what millions of people are doing at any given moment while you're sitting in your bed looking at it. That's huge. I know that negative self-talk is also rooted in many other things, but I think above all,

it's really rooted in the internet, like a lot of it is truly, and just not having a good balance between internet and real life. But I will say that when it comes to negative self-talk, that can also be a coping mechanism in a way, like for me personally, when I feel out of control in my life in some way, or I feel vulnerable in some way and it's making me uncomfortable, my mind immediately resorts

to negative self-talk, almost as a coping mechanism and as a defense mode. You know, because I'm like, if I'm mean to myself, then no one else can be mean to me. And I'm in control of it. I'm in control of making myself feel like shit. You know what I mean? And I'm in control of the narrative of myself, which is that it's, I hate myself.

I'm in control of the narrative of myself, which is that it's, I hate myself. I'm in control of that narrative. Be aware of where your negative self-talk is coming from, and address it at the source. You know what I mean? Be like, OK, why am I being so hard on myself? Is it because I've been on my phone too much? Or is it because there's an area of my life

that I feel out of control in or I feel like I'm you know insufficient in some way in some area of my life like where is this rooted like Where is this stemming from address it at the root and then immerse yourself in Things that make you feel good in whatever way you need to in things that make you feel good, in whatever way you need to. Somebody said, when you have a period of days where you feel like you're slipping back into a bad place mentally, how can you prevent that or what have you learned to do to help yourself

before you get into the bad place? I think the key is to remember that tomorrow is a new day. He is to remember that tomorrow is a new day. And to make a decision that you are going to make tomorrow a good day, right? That might mean planning out your day. You know what I mean? Planning out your following day. And being like, okay, I'm going to do all of these things to make myself feel good tomorrow. I'm going to, you know, wake up at this time. I'm going to go for a walk and then I'm

gonna go get a coffee and then I'm gonna come home and I'm gonna study for two hours and then I'm going to listen to music and paint for two hours and then I'm going to, like, make it detailed schedule for yourself that you know will make you feel good and will make you get back on track. And then that might just be what it takes to snap you out of it. Somebody said, how do you fall back in love

with things that you've lost interest in? Sometimes it's hard to keep sight of your dreams or even your favorite craft because it isn't what you expected it to be. Is there any way to change this or should you just keep moving forward? I think you take a break. Sometimes the best thing you can do

to revitalize a passion for something is to step away from it for a second. Too much of anything is not good. And if you're forcing yourself to be focused on something 24-7 when the passion isn't there, you're just beating a dead horse. You need to take a break. Even if it's just three days, even if it's just a month, it doesn't matter, take a break. Get away from it for a second. It does a world of difference. And it allows you to see things from a new perspective,

from a more open-minded perspective so that you can figure out a way to fall back and love with it. Somebody said, how do I stop comparing myself to other girls? Again, I really think it is the internet, especially TikTok for whatever reason when I had TikTok. I don't know what it is about that app, but it made me compare myself to people constantly. And, you know, be honest with yourself,

is your usage of the internet making you feel like shit? It's not healthy to be seeing all of these beautiful women that are like perfectly done up, you know, with the perfect lighting possibly even faced you into a little bit. It's so unhealthy for us to be seeing that all the time. And I know it's so cliche at this point, but seeing tailored images of people on the internet that are perfect all the time absolutely take a huge toll on us subconsciously. That cannot be ignored. So number one, really be honest with yourself.

Is your internet usage making this worse? The answer is almost definitely yes. Number two, you need to find confidence that has nothing to do with your looks and with surface level things about you by doing things like becoming more knowledgeable, by reading, or by finding hobbies that you're passionate about, or by taking care of yourself physically. By doing those types of things, you start to build a confidence

that transcends your appearance. The realist and truest confidence comes from being a happy person. It doesn't come from looking good. It doesn't come from you know being the most talented at something. It comes from just being a happy person and the moment that you are able to find happiness

within your own life is the moment that you stop looking around at what other people are doing and comparing. And it doesn't come easy, you know, it takes time, but start trying to find things that make you excited about life, whether it's a hobby or anything, right? Anything. And lean into it. And treat yourself with love. And feed your soul with things that make you feel good, no matter what that may be.

And that will make you naturally happier. In addition to cutting down your social media usage, doing things that make you happy, no matter what they are, will help you build your confidence in your own life and in your own purpose, so that you don't feel the need to look around anymore. It's a lot easier said than done,

and it's a lifelong journey that we're all going to have to deal with. But I'm just planning the seed. You know what I mean? Not only for you, but for me too, because listen, as much as I know the answer in a sense, it doesn't mean that it's an easy journey. I don't have it figured out. That's for damn sure. I know what I'm striving for, but it's a journey that we're all on together. Anyway you guys, that's all I got for today. I appreciate you guys so much for coming back and listening to me. It really does mean the world to me and I just love talking to you guys. So thank you for hanging out today.

I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your week. And if you don't, listen, it happens. And you're gonna figure it out. And you're gonna pull your ass out of that shit. Okay, we're in this together. If you wanna subscribe to anything goes, you can do so on any platform that you listen to podcast. And if you wanna follow anything goes on Twitter,

you can do so at AG podcast. And you can leave a review. Let me know what you think of my podcast on Apple podcasts. I really, really appreciate it. And I appreciate you guys support every single day. And we'll talk soon.