anything goes with emma chamberlain - growing up too fast

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

i had an epiphany recently that for my entire life thus far, i’ve been trying to grow up way too fast. in middle school and high school i wanted to find a boyfriend, have my first kiss, and lose my virginity. i wanted to do all of these things that i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, but my peers would praise me if i did. in my early twenties, i wanted to be more like a real adult: retire nightlife and start focusing on settling down and finding my future husband. but i had this sort of epiphany recently where i was like, hold on a minute. i'm 22 years old and I'm trying to live like 40 year old. why am i not giving myself the space and room to be young? so today we're going to be discussing the natural, self-inflicted desire to grow up too fast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I hadn't epiphany recently that for my entire life thus far, I have been trying to grow up way too fast. I felt this fire under my ass to grow up since I was in preschool. It started in preschool with wanting to find a boyfriend. Okay, literally at three or four years old, I became obsessed with this idea of having a boyfriend because I wanted to be like the adults that I admired and all of them were in relationships. And so in preschool, I started having crushes on boys

and I wanted to be in a relationship. Now that was pretty innocent and harmless. In middle school and high school, it got a little bit more serious. I still wanted to be in a relationship, but it was less because I admired the adults in my life, and it was more because my peers would think it was cool. To be mature was cool to my peers. I wanted to find a boyfriend.

I wanted to have my first kiss. I wanted to lose my virginity. I wanted to do all of these things that I knew deep down. I wasn't ready for, but I knew that my peers would praise me if I did. I also tried to dress more mature when I was in middle school and high school. You know, I really wanted to buy short shorts. I really wanted to buy a bra, my first real bra. Why?

Because that's what all the cool mature people were wearing. And why were they wearing that? Because they can. Their parents aren't telling them what to do. And again, wearing more mature clothing made my peers respect me more. In middle school and high school, I wanted to party. I wanted to drink alcohol, even though it was so illegal.

I wanted to randomly get with a guy irresponsibly. I wanted to do the party thing. Why? Because participating in that made me cool, made me cooler to other kids. In middle school and high school, I wanted to be more mature to impress my peers. In my early 20s, everything turned upside down. I wanted to be more like a real adult, like a 40-year-old. I have this desire to retire nightlife, start focusing

on settling down, finding my future husband, maybe moving in together at some point, preparing for that life. In my early 20s, I'm talking about 2021-22, I'm 22 now. Everything turned upside down, and I wanted to be as adult as possible, now looking at 30 and 40-year year olds as my inspiration. The reason why I wanted to become more adult is because I felt like it was praised by older adults everywhere when someone in their early 20s

has their shit together. You know, they're working on their future. They're retiring the nightlife. They're finding the person that they want to settle down with, they're planning to have a family. And I think it gets a little bit more complicated when you're in your early 20s because I actually think that that's not a terrible focus to have.

I still believe that in a lot of ways, that's a healthy focus to have, if that's something that you want to do with your life, but I think it becomes unhealthy when you're forcing yourself to do it. You're forcing yourself to meet your forever partner. You're forcing yourself to move in with them. You're forcing yourself to retire night life

because you want to grow up too fast. If you naturally want to do those things, that's one thing. But if you're sort of forcing yourself to do it, then what you're really doing is just forcing yourself to grow up too fast. In a way that's unnatural and unhealthy. And I have this sort of epiphany recently, where I was like, hold on a minute, I'm 22 years old,

and I'm trying to live like a 35 year old, 40 year old. Why? Why am I doing that? Why am I not going out until five in the morning with my friends? Why am I not giving myself the space in room to be young and not be planning a family one day like holy shit wait. Sorry. That's weird. I'm too young for that. I don't want to have a family until I'm in my late 20s. That's my sort of goal for myself. That's what feels comfortable and right for me. I'm 22.

Okay, I'm probably not gonna be in that space for another five, six years. That's a long fucking time. I need a minute to enjoy this time. And this epiphany also brought me back to middle school and high school. I need a minute to enjoy this time. And this epiphany also brought me back to middle school and high school. And I was like, why was I trying to party back then?

You know, why was I trying to dress more mature than I was? Why was I doing all of these things? And it made me sad actually. When I looked back at myself in middle school and high school, trying to grow up too fast, it's not necessarily a fond memory. It came with a lot of anxiety and stress and pain.

It didn't make me happy to go to parties. It didn't make me happy to force myself to date boys and kiss boys and do all those things. It didn't make me happy to focus on my appearance and try to look more mature than I was. It made me very unhappy. I remember I forced myself to have my first kiss new year's eve of freshman year.

And it's a funny story. I've told the story a million times, but basically my friends set it up for me because I was like, I need to kiss someone, I need to kiss someone, I felt so rushed. And they were like, well, we'll find somebody for you, so we'll set you up with someone. So they found someone who was interested

and it was so set up, which is terrible. And I had never kissed anyone before, obviously, it was my first kiss. And he grabbed my butt and I laughed during it because I was like, what the fuck to use? I just didn't even know that that was a normal thing. So I laughed and he was like, why are you laughing? And then he laughed at me because he was like, oh my god, she has no idea what she's doing. Anyway, funny story, ha ha, but the next day, I felt like I had exploited myself in a way.

I felt like I had exploited my innocence. Deep down, I wasn't ready for my first kiss. I really wasn't, and I didn't even want to have my first kiss, really. I just felt pressured by society to do that. And I cried, I cried, I cried for the whole day after my first kiss because I felt like I had exploited myself. And it was a similar thing when I would wear more mature clothing, you know, I'd wear really short shorts where I'd wear like a bra.

I felt sort of wrong about it. I was like, I know deep down that this doesn't feel like me. I know deep down that I don't feel right, this is wrong, but I do it anyway and it made me feel bad about myself. I felt gross, I felt, you know, I just felt wrong to me. And it's because it was. I sort of had this epiphany about all of this. And I was like, I'm done trying to grow up too fast.

I'm 22 years old right now and I'm gonna allow myself to enjoy it, because I've yet in my life to enjoy my age. Based on my research, it seems like there are two reasons why we feel the pressure to grow up too fast. Number one, because we lacked proper care from our parents, and so we were sort of forced to grow up too fast

because we kind of needed to be our own parent. But that's not what I'm going to be discussing today. I'm going to be discussing a sort of self-inflicted pressure to grow up too fast, something that's almost impossible to prevent in a way. I don't know if there's anything parents can do to stop their children from wanting to grow up too fast. It's something that happens when parents aren't around.

You know, it's the way that young people interact when it's just them together, whether it's at school or college or young people's first jobs or young people's friend groups, whatever it may be, it tends to happen without the parents around. And, you know, I have incredible parents who protected me and did the absolute best they could to preserve my childhood.

But I still feel like I grew up too fast. I don't think that there's anything they could have done. They would tell me to enjoy my age. They would tell me to enjoy the period of life that I'm in. But it was going in one ear and right off the other because my desire to grow up too fast couldn't be stopped by anyone or anything. It was coming from other kids. It was coming from myself. There was nothing that could get in the way of it. So today we're going to be discussing the natural desire to grow up too fast.

So why do some of us have this natural desire to grow up too fast? I think a big part of it is to seem cool. In middle school and high school, especially, the cool kids in our age group were always the ones that were the most mature. I'm closing my eyes right now thinking of the cool kid in middle school and high school. And I think if a kid who is in a relationship throws parties at their house when their

parents aren't around, smokes weed, way too young, that's the cool kid. The kid that's participating in mature activities, even though it's incredibly inappropriate. That's the cool kid. I also think a lot of kids feel rebellious by nature. We as humans don't always love being told what to do. In fact, we usually don't like to be told what to do. It feels good to rebel against your parents when you're young.

Now I listen to my parents like Bible. I'm like everything that they say. I'm like, okay, I know that you know better than me. So please tell me. But when you're a kid, you want to rebel. It feels fun and edgy to rebel against your parents. And obviously most parents tell you, hey, don't go and do these mature activities. Don't dress too mature. don't participate in mature activities.

Don't do things that don't make sense for your age. Don't do that. Most parents clearly state those rules. Young people love to break rules, love. Not only does it make you seem cooler to your peers, but it also is satisfying. Like the feeling of rebellion is satisfying. But young adults who are in their early to mid-20s,

it's cool to actually have your shit together. It's cool to be 25 and to be living in a cute house with your partner. Like that's cool because it's admirable to have your shit together at such a young age. It sort of switches at that age. It becomes cooler to be like a super mature person, right? I also think we feel the pressure to grow up too fast because society maturity is praised

in one way or another. I think a lot of it comes down to peer pressure. It's about the other people in your age group. That's not to say that there aren't parents who try to force their kids to grow up too fast because I think that that definitely happens. But that's sort of an extreme variable. What I'm trying to focus on today is this inevitable pressure to grow up too fast. Having a parent who's forcing you to grow up too fast is not inevitable pressure to grow up too fast. Having a parent who's forcing you to grow up too fast

is not inevitable. That's actually like a toxic variable, right? I wanna talk about the inevitability of it. You know, even if you have the most perfect parents and everything's going right, you're still not safe from this pressure. And I think the reason for that is because it comes from your peers a lot of times. I also think young people want to grow up so fast to finally feel independent.

And this makes sense to me because independence is rightfully desirable. Being able to control your own life is a really special privilege. I don't think there's anything wrong with craving independence, because I think if we didn't have the desire for independence, we would never go and be independent, which eventually we all have to. So I wonder if that's something that were biologically built to crave. And I didn't do research on it. So I'll have to, do I Google it now? Let me look.

Interesting. Okay. So I was right. My hypothesis was right. So according to the National Institutes of Health.gov, there's evidence that suggests that the desire for control is not something that we acquire through learning, but rather is innate. You know, it's something we're born with. So, yeah, that sort of supports what I was saying.

Like, we innately want to be independent because independence equals control. And what comes with maturity? More independence, a lot of the times, right? The older we get, the more independence we acquire. On top of that, I think a lot of young kids are weirdly embarrassed by their lack of independence. They wish that they could drive themselves around, make their own rules, make their own choices,

but they can't. And the kids who have more independence are considered cooler because it's like, oh, they're more mature, they're more independent. They have more of what I want, which is control over my life. They're cooler than me. A lot of young adults want to be as independent as possible to prove to everybody that they are truly an adult. They have transcended properly into adulthood,

they're nailing it, they have their shit together, they're a proper adult and they should be treated as such. Because being a young adult is interesting. You're technically called an adult on paper, but yet people who are older than you still kind of look at you as a kid. Like I'm 22 years old, people look at me as a kid. I'm not a kid, I'm a kid. Like I'm 22 years old, people look at me as a kid. I'm not a kid, I'm a full adult, I'm 22 years old, I can drink alcohol, I can have sex,

I can drive a car, I pay my own taxes, I make my own money. Is my brain fully developed? I don't know, it depends. On average, apparently your brain stops developing at 25. So yeah, on paper I'm an adult, but my elders look at me as a child because I've barely been an adult for one. And for two, my brain might not be fully developed. But more than anything I'd love to be seen as an adult

because technically I am one. And so I want that as do most other young adults, right? But a lot of times young adults don't get that cred yet. You know, that's something you have to earn. That's why I think we want to grow up so fast. We want to be cool. We feel pure pressure and we want to be independent. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Life is full of crossroads. And a lot of times it's very unclear which path is best. Maybe you're considering a career change, a relationship change, the best way forward looks a little different for

everybody. And we have to figure that out for ourselves. And therapy can help you do that. I can't even express how much talking through issues has helped me throughout my life. I'm someone who heavily relies on talking with others to help me get through a challenge, whether it's just getting something off my chest or it's getting advice from somebody who is wiser than me about something, talking through challenges can be so beneficial. And no matter who you are, therapy can be a great option. It gives you somebody to talk to who isn't directly involved in your life and has no bias. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule, just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a credentialed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Visit betterhelp.com slash anything today to get 10% off your first month. That's betteraglp.com slash anything. Tap the banner or visit this episodes page to learn more. But see, it gets a little messy, it gets a little sticky because growing up too fast, you know, feeling this pressure to grow up too fast is kind of similar to just naturally, healthily, maturing. Growing up too fast and healthily, naturally maturing,

have a lot of similarities in a way that makes them hard to distinguish at times. In order to mature into an adult, we have to feel a level of discomfort in life. You know, we have to feel a little fire under our ass to grow up because if we don't feel that at all, then we'll never grow up and we'll be kids forever. We don't wanna be kids forever. You know, we wanna become adults

because that's healthy for us, right? So let's try to distinguish the difference between growing up too fast and naturally, healthfully maturing. I think the difference is growing up too fast is forced and usually unhealthy, whereas maturing is more natural and organic and eventually leads to a fulfilling, happy, healthy life. Growing up too fast is rooted in wanting to be cool, wanting to fit in, succumbing to peer pressure. It's not rooted in making choices that will lead to the life that you truly want to have. It almost has nothing to do with you as an individual. It's all about what other people want, what other people are doing.

It's not about you, what you want, and what you naturally would do. When you're growing up too fast, you're following someone else's timeline. And we're all unique individuals. We all have a different timeline, you know what I mean? That we should be following. And it's sort of abstract, and it can change as time goes on. We all have a different timeline, you know what I mean? That we should be following. And it's sort of abstract and it can change as time goes on. I also think growing up too fast tends to feel wrong in one way or another.

It feels wrong. You know, in the case of middle schoolers and high schoolers, they're doing adult things that at times are even illegal because that's what makes them feel cool And that's very obviously inappropriate and wrong, right? Like I'm so sorry But you can't look at a 15-year-old drinking and say to yourself now that's healthy You know what I'm saying? Like that's not good and even me at 22 years old retiring the nightlife Being a stickler about it, kind

of leaving myself no room to explore it again if I wanted to, being super hyper focused on eventually starting a family, you know, luckily I wasn't feeling pressured to like get married or actually have children. But rather feeling like, okay, I need to make this a priority to figure out what that's going to look like. And I don't think it was the right time for me to be doing that. I think what I need to be doing is just experience being young and not having that commitment to life. I'm saying, I think I was sort of forcing myself into that mold

and I don't think it was fitting. I'm 22, I need to be young, dumb, and random. You know what I mean? I don't need to be not going out and not just enjoying being 22. I don't need to be planning out my fucking family at 22 years old. You know what I mean?

It's like, okay, relax. Okay, my love, relax. You need to go out, experience a bar and a club every once in a while, stay out till five in the morning, see how that feels. And if naturally, I am like, you know what, I'm not really in a phase where I want to go out anymore. I'm not really in a phase where I want to socialize right now. I'm not really in a phase where I want to feel like a 22 year old.

I kind of want to feel like a 40 year old. Then I'll do that. But that's obviously not what I want. You see what I'm saying? The point is I think growing up too fast feels forced. It feels forced. It feels unhealthy. It feels wrong.

In one way or another, it feels wrong. And that leads to a worse quality of life because when you're trying to force yourself into a mold and you don't fit, you're never gonna be happy that way. Whereas I think a healthy rate of maturing is much more natural, it's much more organic. That's not to say that it's always fun and easy. You know, a lot of times we mature the most

during challenging experiences, but that's the beauty of challenges in life. It forces us to grow up a little bit, and a lot of times we need that. I think I should distinguish a healthy challenge from an unhealthy challenge. I would say a healthy challenge is something normal, natural, and inevitable.

Your first breakup, losing friends, failing a test at school. Like, I don't know, those types of things where it's like, yeah, it's going to happen to everyone. I think an unhealthy challenge is some sort of trauma, some sort of unfair circumstance that nobody should have to experience. Unfortunately, many of us experience challenges that are unhealthy, unfair. I'm not really referring to that right now, because that's a whole other variable. But I'm talking about a healthy rate of maturity that comes just through life's natural challenges, right? I think we also become more mature when we're forced to step out of our comfort zone in a way that feels right. As our brain develops, we suddenly have the

capacity to do new things. And it's not always going to be comfortable. In fact, it's going to be scary at times, but I think it's a sign that it's the right time when you do those things. In afterward, you feel empowered. That's a sign of healthy maturity. You do something that's a little bit more mature. And then afterward, you're like, wait, I feel better about myself. Growing up too fast is when you do something because you felt like you had to, because you have this pressure to grow up too fast.

You do this thing. And then afterwards, you feel wrong, you feel dirty, you feel weird, you feel broken, you feel bad. You might feel more accepted by your peers, but deep down inside, you don't feel better about yourself. You know that that didn't feel right. And I think at the end of the day, maturing at a normal rate does make life better in a lot of ways. As I said, about 15 times, it does come with challenges, it does come with discomfort,

but you always end up feeling better than you did before. You know, I think about my first kiss. If I would have waited a bit longer for my first kiss. I would have waited for it to happen naturally when I was ready, when there was someone in my life who I wanted to kiss. I think I would have felt really excited afterwards. I think I would have felt elated, but you know, because I rushed myself to do that,

I felt bad about myself afterwards. I felt stressed out, I felt weird, and I think that that's the difference between growing up too fast and naturally maturing. Now, why is it unhealthy to grow up too fast? Obviously I've mentioned vaguely a few reasons why it's unhealthy, but let's really zoom in. I think it's such a shame to prematurely lose

the carefree sense of childhood in young adulthood. We don't need to be dealing with shit too heavy for our age. You know, there's a reason why we have this sort of established timeline for human beings. There's a reason for that. A 15-year-old is too young to be drinking alcohol. A 15-year-old is too young to be drinking alcohol. A 15 year old is too young to probably even have a boyfriend to be honest. Although, if I had a kid, I don't think I would not allow them to date at a young age because I did. I had a boyfriend in fifth grade and then I had a boyfriend in, oh no, I didn't have another one until I was like 17. But I like played around with boys here and there,

but never dated them. Like I was like a short fling always. So I kinda dated in high school, but like, not really. I don't know if I'd prevent that, because I think, you know, it's something that young people desire so much that I don't know if I would not allow my kid to date.

I don't know if that seems fair. Like if my parents didn't let me date, I probably would have done it anyway and I probably would have been more irresponsible. You know, so I don't know. But there's a reason why, you know, a 15 year old's not getting married. It comes down to brain development.

It comes down to the ability to comprehend certain subjects at a young age. It comes down to the pressure and the danger of certain things at a young age. There's so many reasons why we're not exposed to certain things when we're young. And when we are exposed to those things, it rips away our carefree sense of childhood and young adulthood. It reveals the harsh reality too soon, and there's no reason to do that. We have our whole adult lives to face the pressures of maturity and adulthood.

There's no reason to rush that. It's just too heavy. I also think growing up too fast can potentially prevent wholesome memories. When it comes to childhood, innocent, sweet memories are so fond to look back on. And the more of those that we can have the merrier, I have so many special memories with my young cousins. I didn't have siblings growing up, but I had cousins who are around my age. We used to do the most fun innocent shit. I don't know. We would steal food from the pantry. We'd steal candy from the pantry of one of our parents' house, and we'd go and hide in the closet and we'd eat it.

And of course our parents knew, they were like, it's totally fine, but we loved it. It was so fun. We wanted to be sneaky. What a beautiful memory that is. Or like, that sounds like our parents did not let us ever have treats. That is not true.

There was just something fun about the mischievous, like, oh, we're creeping into the kitchen and we're stealing marshmallows from the pantry and we're sneaking into the kitchen. And we're stealing marshmallows from the pantry. And we're sneaking into the closet. And we're, you know, we have a flashlight. And it's like an adventure. And you know, trust me, we had incredible parents. But it was like this fun adventure

or even taking chalk and like breaking it up in water, like a big bucket of water. And like then adding leaves and then adding like dirt and like mixing it up and turning it into like, which is cauldron. And it's like, oh, this is the which is cauldron. And then it's like, you know, one of us would touch it and then everybody would run away

because you'd be like, now you're a witch or whatever. Like stuff like that is so sweet. And when I think back on those memories, obviously me telling you right now, you're like, that is so boring. That's the most boring memory you've ever, where's the drama? But for me, you know, when I close my eyes at night and I think of a memory like that, I feel warm inside. I feel good. And it's a shame to lose those memories due to trying to grow up too fast.

As a young adult, trying to grow up too fast means trying to be like a 40 year old, you know? That means no parting with your friends. That means no being single and hooking up with random people and like experimenting there. It means throwing all that away. And to some, that's fine. You know, that's not fun. I would say I'm even one of those people. I don't love going and hooking up with random people necessarily.

I don't love going to a party and getting super drunk all the time. I'm not obsessed with that stuff. I think that that's why I was more prone to wanting to retire all of that and turn into a 40-year-old early. But it was complicated because it was also paired with this subconscious desire to be mature.

So I've recently been trying to figure out, you know, what's the middle ground for me, because I'm not into all the stereotypical 22 year old activities. But there are definitely a few that I do enjoy that I was suppressing. And I think that I missed out on some memories between the ages of 20 and now because I didn't want to allow myself to be my age. I didn't want to allow myself to be a 20, 21, 22 year old. I wanted to be more mature than that. And now I'm allowing myself to have a bit more fun, go and hang out with friends until five in the morning.

I'm not somebody that likes to drink a lot, so I don't do that, but I love the feeling of like being a blade and hanging out with friends and going all night, like I like that vibe, but I don't like the drinking, so I don't do the drinking, I don't do the drugs, but I like that piece of it.

So I'm kind of leaning into that piece of it, you know? That's sort of an example. And that's been so fun for me, and I've made so many memories already by allowing myself to do that. I think in general, being a young adult comes with this sort of freedom, this perfect balance

of freedom. You're old enough where you don't have to report to your parents. You can make your own rules. That's that. But at the same time, you don't have the responsibility of having a family. And some people don't ever have a family. But for me personally, I'm somebody who does want to have a family one day. And eventually, that's going to be a huge responsibility for me personally, I'm somebody who does want to have a family one day. And eventually, that's going to be a huge responsibility for me.

And when I have kids and a husband, I'm not going to be able to go out and do my thing. You know what I mean? I don't get to go and do my thing, okay? Those days are over at that point. There's still going to be fun times then, but it's going to be different. And right now is my time to be 22 year old and make these fun memories with friends. And it would be such a shame to lose out on those memories because I was trying to rush being a fucking 40 year old,

you know, I also think the pressure that we put on ourselves to grow up too fast sets unrealistic standards for ourselves, which can negatively impact our self-esteem and overall well-being. We're trying to do things too soon, which will almost always lead to failure. You know what I mean? When you go against your natural path, you'll almost always fail. Now, that's totally fine because failure is crucial, like we have to fail. That's how we learn. But the failure comes because we set unrealistic standards for ourselves. It's unrealistic for a lot of us to be ready to be a full, full,

full adult in our early 20s. We're not going to be able to fulfill that desire and inevitably we're going to be upset about it. And last but not least, I think growing up too fast can lead to a sort of regret in a way. And regret is a controversial feeling. Some people believe that we should not feel regret because, you know, without our experiences, we would not be who we are. And it was sort of our destiny to experience what we did and to make the choices that we did. Other people think that regret is a necessary emotion, you know, because even though we can't change the past, we should be aware of where we weren't wrong, you know? I don't know where I fall.

I probably fall somewhere in between, but I think I lean more towards the no regret side of things because again, we can't dwell on what is already done, in a way. I guess we should dwell on it to an extent because we have to learn from our past experiences, but when I say dwell, I mean, we don't want to just sit in this state of feeling regret.

It's much more beneficial to look at our past decisions and say, okay, what would I do differently now? How can I use that to make my current life better? But I definitely have certain... I don't know if I want to say regrets, but it's kind of the only word I can think of. I mean, I guess I could say I'm sort of upset about some of the ways that I force myself to grow up too fast.

You know, I sometimes wonder if my childhood would have been happier had I not force myself to grow up too fast. Luckily, I'm only 22 years old. I haven't wasted my 20s too badly yet trying to be a 40-year-old, so I still have some time. I caught it early for this phase of my life, but I don't know if I regret it, even though I felt somewhat exploited by myself at times, I think that experience led me to avoid peer pressure, avoid the opinions of others, because I felt the pain that came with succumbing to it. So I don't really regret what I did. Like I don't, I don't think I would

be who I am without it. You know, in an ideal world, I was born with this sense of self where I never would listen to peer pressure. I found my sense of confidence and self-esteem within myself. But that's just unrealistic. I think I almost had to succumb to that peer pressure in order to become the person I am today, who doesn't really care what people think is cool as much. You know, I kind of marched to the beat of my own drum now, and I think that is completely as a result of how vulnerable I was to other people's opinions when I was younger.

I wish that young kids were able to take advice in the way that young adults and adults are able to. I don't know if there's a way to prevent young kids from this desire to grow up too fast. I don't know if I know anyone who hasn't felt that desire. Maybe in some ways it's crucial for our development. Maybe it all is rooted in our innate desire to be independent. Maybe that's just how it manifests in a lot of people or a lot of kids. Maybe it's inevitable. I think what we can do is try our best, you know?

Try to explain to the best we can to the kids that we know that there's no rush. You have your whole life to dress how you want, party like you want, be an adult. Enjoy this time, have fun being young. But I don't know if the kids will listen, because I know that I didn't. It's a shame. But I think when it comes to young adulthood, it's much easier to take the advice because your brain is just more developed. I think we as young adults need to stop forcing our life to happen.

We have to enjoy our youth for as long as we can and protect it for as long as we can and trust that we'll be full adults one day and it'll all fall into place if that's what we want it to do. You know what I'm saying? We don't need to have the perfect job at 22 years old. We don't need to have the perfect job at 22 years old. We don't need to have the perfect relationship at 22 years old. We don't need to have the perfect home at 22 years old. That can all come later.

I don't know. That's all I have for today. That's all she fucking wrote, okay? That's all she wrote. I feel like such a pessimist talking about this whole thing and not feeling like there's a solution in a way, especially for younger kids, but maybe it's not my job to find that solution. Maybe I'll find that solution at some point.

Maybe when I have kids, I'll figure it out. But I have a feeling it's really going to be an interesting challenge when I'm a parent. That's going to be one of my goals. How can I preserve this childhood to the best of my ability while not sheltering them to a point where they're not maturing at all? It's finding that balance, and I don't know how I'm going to do it, and maybe it's not possible, but I'm not giving up just yet. It's going to be a long time before I have a baby. So no pregnancy rumors

until I'm at least 28. Because if I see a pregnancy rumor before then you've got to know it's not a baby, it's food. So just don't say anything until I'm at least 28. And don't be brewed. And you should never assume if someone's pregnant. So know that, okay? Stop being an asshole. Don't ever assume. That's truly the worst thing you could do. Honestly. Is there something worse that you could do? Yes, but barely. Like, that's one of the worst things you can do is assume someone's pregnancy. Don't do that. Anyway, that's all I have to say today. Thank you so much for listening and hanging out. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. If you did tune in Thursday, Sundays, every week for anything goes, you can listen to audio anywhere you stream podcasts, but for video, you must go to Spotify. Although

this episode was audio only because I'm in a hotel room and I'll be honest, it's a mess in here. My suitcase exploded and I don't want anyone to see it. So audio only this week, but most of my episodes have videos. So check that out on Spotify. Follow anything goes on Instagram and anything goes. Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, if you want to keep up with me. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee.

We have the most delicious coffee. We have the most delicious tea. We have the most delicious matcha. We have all the beverages that you can dream of. So go check it out, Chamberlaincoffee.com, go on the store locator, see if we're in a store near you, use code AG15 if you're checking out online. And that's all I have to say. Thank you for listening. Thank you for hanging out with me. I hope that you enjoyed it.

And I'll talk to you soon. Talk to you later. All right. Love and appreciate you very much. Goodbye. it and I'll talk to you soon. Talk to you later. All right. Love and appreciate you very much. Okay, bye.