anything goes with emma chamberlain - how am i really doing?

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

Gossip and rumors have been floating around the internet about Emma’s mental health recently. While it’s lead to some positive reactions, it’s also lead to a lot of negativity and judgement. Emma is diving into the state of social media today, and how it plays into our mental health. Why do people find the need to stretch narratives and make up lies about others just for likes and retweets? And why are we so drawn to all the drama? Maybe it’s time to get off some of the apps… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everybody, welcome back to anything goes I'm Emma Chamberlain your host and I hope that you're having a beautiful week. You know, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I had a pretty rough week and I know it seems that I say that a lot. But I'm being honest. This is the truth. I'm not going to come on here and say, oh, I had a great week when I simply didn't. And when I think about it, I don't have good weeks very often. I find that most of my weeks are challenging. Most of my weeks are challenging. Most of my life is challenging. And it's hard to say that and it's hard to admit that sometimes, especially when I have a good life.

I have a really great life. I have really great people in my life. I have a great job. I am healthy. My friends and family are healthy, I have a great life. And that makes me feel like I'm not allowed to struggle. Yet I struggle constantly. Now, I want you to look inward at yourself for a second and ask yourself how often you're struggling and how often you find yourself to be uncomfortable or in pain. Now, I don't know you personally, but I would guess that you would say pretty frequently. I don't think there's one human being on this planet that doesn't struggle weekly, if not daily.

It's just part of being human. It's a part of the human condition. As uncomfortable as it is for me to share my struggles on the internet, I know that it's important because in a sense it's rare. I was thinking about this the other day. It seems that on social media, mental health in general is only really talked about once it's been relieved for example if somebody struggled with really bad anxiety or really bad depression, but they found a way out of it Most of the time on the internet

We're only hearing the success stories We're only hearing of the person that Found the way out of it and is doing better now and hasn't been anxious in two years. That's what we hear most frequently and that's what's really widely accepted. That's what's exciting to people because it gives them hope, right? Oh, that person, you know, cured their depression, cured their anxiety. I can do it too. But why is it that when somebody is in the midst of a bad day and they decide to share it, they're weak almost or they're oversharing or they need serious help and they need to get it now. Why is that?

Why does the conversation change when somebody is in the midst of a mental health struggle? I've noticed that it seems that the conversation about mental health on the internet is conditional. It's not unconditional. People only want to talk about mental health on the internet when it's not current, when it's solved, as I said earlier. But the second that somebody is going through something in real time, it becomes drama. It becomes negative. People start looking down on the person that's struggling. They start pitting them in a sense and looking at said person

who's struggling as somebody who's almost broken or lesser than, and it's really bizarre to me. And I didn't realize that this was something that was going on until it happened to me this past week. And a few TikToks went viral, basically creating a narrative about me being depressed in this current moment, right? Saying that I was a walking cry for help and that I clearly have a terrible life and I'm really depressed and that I clearly need help and that there's clearly all these

things wrong with me and that I'm sick and that I am blah blah blah blah blah. And I've read through the comments and there were a lot of comments that were genuinely concerned about me and were loving and constructive and super sweet. And to the people who left those comments, thank you so much. I appreciate you more than you know. But I also noticed some comments that were almost judging me,

almost angry at me for supposedly being depressed and in this terrible place. There were people saying that, you know, I'm faking my mental health struggles for relatability so that people can relate to me on the internet, who watch my videos, whatever, or listen to my podcast or whatever. There were people that were saying that

I have no right necessarily to be depressed or to have mental health struggles in general because my life is so fortunate. Now before I talk any further about that whole thing, I think it's important to mention that I'm doing better than I've ever been doing in my life, ever. I've never been happier in my life than I am right now. Does that mean that I'm exempt from struggle? absolutely not. But in comparison to the literal past 19 years of my life before now, like, I've never been this good. I'm doing much better. The best that I've ever been doing. Now, this whole thing was so confusing for me. Because on one hand, the TikToks about my mental health

and, you know, assuming my mental health were false for one, to a certain extent. But also, reading all these people saying that I don't necessarily have a right to feel depressed or to struggle and that I am using my struggles to be relatable and I'm even amplifying my struggles to be relatable. That was something that kind of rumbled my foundation a little bit. Because I share, you know, my thoughts and my feelings and my bad days and stuff like that,

because it's honest and that's it. It's honest. because it's honest and that's it. It's honest. None of it is some sort of tactic to gain sympathy or to be more relatable to the average person. It's just simply honest. And what people take from it is up to them.

If somebody relates to it, amazing. If somebody just simply is relates to it, amazing. If somebody just simply is entertained by it, great. I don't care. But having people assume that I'm lying or tell me that I have no right to feel depressed just completely rocked my world. Now at the moment that I started watching these TikToks about me and this started kind of blowing up and becoming a topic of conversation, at the time that I saw these TikToks,

I was in a great place. I was actually on vacation with my friends and I was having a great place. I was actually on vacation with my friends, and I was having a great time, and I was a little bit mentally fatigued because I had just moved, and I had worked really hard before I left for my trip to get a lot of stuff done, so that I could truly relax on my vacation.

So I was definitely mentally fatigued, right? Because I had just done a lot, and then I went on vacation, and I was relaxing, but I was recovering from overworking myself, in a sense. And so I was a little bit fragile, and when I saw these TikToks, I immediately, something inside me like cracked. And I started to feel myself slipping into a depressive episode,

which was incredibly ironic, right? Because it's like, I was doing great. All these people on the internet are saying that I'm depressed and have all these things wrong with me. And then it became true because I guess I've never been criticized maybe for my mental health before. And the reason why it upset me is kind of all over the place. Like there's 15 different reasons why this situation upset me. I already named a few.

Number one, people invalidating my mental health. Number two, people, in a sense, kind of violating my privacy by assuming what my mental health state is. Which again, that's something I can't control and that's completely everybody's prerogative. If they want to talk about my mental health, if they want to talk about,

people can talk about whatever they want. It's my problem whether or not I decide to participate in it. And don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware of that. I know that I could have turned my phone off and just shrugged my shoulders and said, this doesn't matter, and moved on. I know that. But for some reason, I couldn't.

Having people assume things about my mental health felt like a huge violation of my privacy. And that upset me. But also seeing how quick people are to pity you in like a negative way when they think that you're struggling or call you broken or unfixable or in a sense pathetic because you just can't get your life together. That is crazy to me. And it's crazy to me because of how accepting I thought we all were at this point on the internet.

Right? Everybody's so praised for talking about their mental health, but I had that realization that people are only accepting of your mental health struggles. If you're talking about them in past tense, if you're talking about them in present tense, people get freaked out. They don't want to be a part of it. They start judging. They start thinking that you're weak.

And that was something I had never realized. And that was a really weird thing for me to realize. And it started to freak me out. Because even though I'm in a really good place right now, I am fine. I'm doing great. I may be bored sometimes in my YouTube videos. I may come on my podcast and vent about a bad day

or vent about something that I maybe had a realization about that was deep or maybe a little bit emotional or whatever. But generally I'm doing really good. But what happens when I'm not doing good next time? And what happens when I do have a two month long depressive episode, you know? What happens then? Will I be able to handle people, you know,

invalidating my mental health struggle? Like, am I going to be able to handle that? Yet my goal since day one has been to share everything and to be honest about everything and to be vulnerable about everything. That's what I've built my whole internet life on. And I'm proud of that because it's not easy. It's kind of uncomfortable sometimes, but it's so necessary and it's so important.

And it's been my core value and goal since day one. But am I going to be able to keep it up if it seems that the response to it is not as positive as it maybe should be? This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's an all-in-one place to make an online space that's entirely your own. Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point.

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of a website or a domain. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away get-night rehashing something I said earlier that day or lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into?

But State Farm can help you with some of those big what ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the State Farm mobile app, or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, State Farm is there. Call or go to stateform.com for a quote today. The thing about mental health struggles is that they are not linear and they are not ever

fully over. Usually. Mental health struggles are an ongoing journey. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have little bursts of depressive episodes here and there throughout my life. I would be completely lying because even though I would say that my depression has improved since I was in high school, it is not something that has gone away. I still do deal with it occasionally. I have moments where it's gone,

I have moments where it comes back for a few days. That's just a part of my journey, you know what I'm saying? But even though I'm dealing with these little bursts of, you know, depression here and there throughout my life, I'm doing better than I ever have been before. And nobody needs to worry about me. Nobody needs to, you know, call my doctor for me. Like I have it all handled. I have an amazing support system, and like

I am all good, you know what I'm saying? My goal of sharing the ups and downs is not a cry for help. It's honesty. That's it. If I needed the help, trust me, I would not be, you wouldn't be hearing from me. I would be seeking that help. I share the more tolerable, more normal kind of day-to-day struggles. And I feel comfortable doing that. And I hope that some people relate to it,

and some people connect to it, and some people benefit from it. That's the whole goal of everything for me. I don't really know what's to be learned from all of this, necessarily. I don't. But I think that this specific scenario kind of relates to day-to-day life in a sense of people don't know how to react when somebody is struggling.

Right, a take talk about me goes viral saying that I'm struggling even though i wasn't really that bad no more than normal let's say that and some people in the comments now i respond and are loving and you know like saying like you know all well hopefully she figures it out whatever and being kind and stuff like that but then the other half is like she doesn't deserve to feel this way oh it's not that big of a deal like whatever blah blah

Oh She needs like you know, she's broken she needs to get help like she's pathetic like she can't figure it out She's never been able to figure it out after X amount of years blah blah blah blah I Have actually noticed that kind of I have actually noticed that kind of reaction to somebody who's struggling with their mental health is like, it actually happens in real life too. Like, when I am struggling and I vent to people,

I don't know what kind of response I'm going to get. Sometimes people just don't get it. And sometimes people are frustrated and they just can't be bothered with your problems. And so they'll kind of try to invalidate your feelings or make you feel like you're overreacting and stuff like that. And then you have other people who get it

and who are accepting and who are willing to go on the journey with you and help you find a solution. There's two types of people that you'll deal with when you try to have a mental health conversation. And I think it's just important to remember that if you're struggling with your mental health and you find that some people are invalidating you or not listening to you fully

or are making you feel like you're a failure or you're weak because of your struggles, you are not. That is false. You're just talking to the wrong person. You're talking to somebody who has never felt what you're feeling before and who just simply doesn't understand the complexity of mental health. Because I think a lot of people don't realize that mental health struggles happen to everybody and they can happen at any time and they're normal and they're not a burden.

I also think the other thing is too, you know, this is also kind of a broader lesson that you shouldn't assume people's mental health. Ever. I mean, people can, I'm, I'm, I put myself on the internet, right? So my situation is a little bit different. I put myself on the internet. People can assume whatever they want about me, people can say whatever they want about me, there's nothing I can do. You know, I can wish that they wouldn't say things all I want, and that's my prerogative, but just the same. It's anybody's prerogative to

share any opinion that they want about me. I can't do anything about it and it's not my place to tell them to stop. It simply isn't. So I'm not here saying to the people who are making assumptions about my mental health in a negative way, you know, like, stop. No, I'm not saying to stop. But I do think it's a lesson. If you see somebody in your life

and you think that they're struggling, but they haven't said it. Maybe they've just been laying in bed a little bit more than usual. Maybe they've been a little bit more bored than usual. Maybe some of their habits have shifted and you think that there's something wrong with their mental health. Don't sit down with them and say,

Hey, I think you're depressed and you need to fix it. Ask them, Hey, how have you been doing? Let them tell you because there's nothing more confusing than having somebody tell you where you're at mentally, there's nothing more confusing than somebody coming to you and saying, you have this and you need help. That is not helpful. I'm so sorry. That is not helpful because the person who's struggling

is now gonna have to try to figure out where they truly stand between their own inner voice and the voice of others. Dealing with mental health struggles is hard enough, but having other people's opinions about whether or not you're struggling and how bad your struggle is makes it even more confusing

and it can actually make you go deeper down a darker place. It can make you go deeper and darker, if that makes sense. It can make the problem worse because it's confusing. Let people come to you about their mental health struggles. And if they're not coming to you and you can tell that there's something wrong, have conversations with them that make them feel safe so that they can come out and share when they are ready and they are ready to talk about it.

Because putting words into somebody's mouth about their own personal life is extremely confusing. Anyway, that's my little rant for the day. I guess to wrap it up in some rise, I had one of my worst depressive episodes that I've had since high school, probably. I had one of my worst depressive episodes that I've had since high school, probably. One of the worst I've had. Eh, I got some bad ones in there. But up there, I was up there

with one of the worst ones I've had since high school. Because people were assuming it about me. And the irony of it is so insane. Like, it almost feels like the matrix because it's like, I was doing fine. People assumed that I wasn't and then I wasn't. Like, it's insane. It doesn't make sense.

And what I'm gonna do, you know, to be proactive so that this doesn't happen again, is that I'm deleting the TikTok app off my phone. As soon as I possibly can, I am no longer going to scroll on TikTok. I might occasionally post on TikTok, because that doesn't bother me, but I'm literally

going to delete the app on my phone and re-download it every time I want to post something. If I have an idea or whatever. But I'm no longer going to be scrolling on TikTok. I don't want to see what the fuck is on there anymore. I think that TikTok is the most toxic platform. It's also the most addictive. I waste so much time on there, which is not good for my mental health either, because spending two hours in bed on TikTok does not make me feel very good about myself.

And I think that it's one of the most disruptive platforms that we have right now because the app is rooted in a foundation of drama. That's really what keeps TikTok going. Don't get me wrong, there's funny videos, there's helpful videos, there's entertaining, in harmless videos, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of great content on TikTok. I will be the first to say it. I've gotten great ideas on TikTok. I've gotten fashion inspiration, cooking inspiration.

All of the above, I've laughed because I've seen funny TikToks. Like, I enjoy the great parts of TikTok, but it also feeds drama. Like it is built for drama. Now the reason why I say this is because things go viral so easily on TikTok, whereas anywhere else, not really. Like on Instagram, things don't really go viral. On YouTube, things go viral,

but in a slower and more controlled way. On TikTok and Twitter, I found things go viral so quickly and so easily and it's dangerous. And if you remember, like I deleted my Twitter so easily and it's dangerous. And if you remember, like I deleted my Twitter a few months ago because of that reason, I was like, things go viral so quickly. And people will create rumors and drama and they'll dramatize things and they'll take things out of context and they'll blow things out of proportion in order to get retweets

in order to get likes on TikTok so that they can go viral. That doesn't really happen on Instagram and YouTube. It just doesn't. It does, but like in a less harmful way, it's not as fast. And it's not as much of a goal. You know what I mean? Whereas on TikTok and on Twitter, the goal is to create the most dramatic, interesting tweet or TikTok that you can,

that will get as many retweets or likes as you can get, so that you can have a viral tweet. And nothing goes viral like drama. Let me tell you. so that you can have a viral tweet. And nothing goes viral like drama. Let me tell you. And so, I don't wanna be a part of that. I don't wanna be a part of platforms that run like that. I just don't. And I feel like TikTok is just exactly like that.

Like, I'll give an example of people taking things out of context. One of the TikToks I saw about me was saying that I'm constantly bored all the time, and that that's a sign of depression, which is fair, and that I didn't have a lot of motivation to get out of bed and stuff like that. And that all of my titles have the word board in it, on YouTube. All my YouTube video titles have the word board in it, which insinuates that I like live this empty boring life. When, in reality, the reason why I've been bored for the past year and a half is because we've been

in a pandemic. I've had nothing to do, and neither of you, and the effects of the pandemic have been very confusing. You know what I mean? Like, I'm now figuring out how to fill my day again in a way because I spent so long and we all did with virtually no fun activities to do outside of entertaining ourselves in our homes. You know? So yes, I've been bored for a year straight, but it's not because I'm cripplingly, cripplingly depressed, it's because that was the circumstance.

And in addition, in moments where my mental health wasn't maybe not as good, it wasn't anything to be concerned about. You know, nothing too serious. Not as dramatic as, you know, the internet is making it seem. Father's Day is coming up, and you know what that means. It's time to find the perfect gift for the special men in our lives. I am not gonna be seeing my dad this father's day because I live in Los Angeles.

He lives in San Francisco, and I will not be home during father's day, but I sent my dad a gift in the mail. I got him some blue Ralph Lauren T-shirts from Macy's.com because he wears pretty much the same thing every day. He wears a navy blue hoodie, blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and flip flops. That's his everyday outfit. Pretty much every father's day, I will replace the T-shirts that he had been wearing for the year prior. So I found the perfect blue Ralph Lauren T-shirt

on macy's.com and I sent them to him and I know he's gonna love them because I get them for him like every year. I got him, I believe three and I think he's gonna love them and they're really nice and they're soft and they're perfect. I'm also probably gonna talk to my dad

for approximately two hours on the phone, although we do do that pretty much every day anyway. But that's how I'm planning to celebrate. Macy's has so many different great options for fathers' daygifts, not just clothes, but they have cooking utensils, food, art, jewelry, little knickknacks, anything you can imagine. They have so many different options. And I even got ideas just from being on the website.

I also picked out some of my favorite things on macy's.com that are perfect for Father's Day. Or if you just want to pick yourself up a little gift for yourself, on macy's.com slash Emma, that's macy's.com slash Emma, you can check out some of my favorite things on the macy's site for Father's Day or just for you if you want to pick yourself up something nice. Again, that's macy's.com slash Emma, check it out. Now some people might be saying Emma, people are just looking out for you. Like why are you upset?

Like why did this bother you? You know? Besides the negative comments, like why does it upset you that in the first place these videos were made? What upsets me is that I can tell when somebody's coming from a genuine place and when somebody's not. It's clear as day to me. Some people who were concerned about me and my mental health and stuff like that were

kind and genuinely concerned and were understanding and weren't trying to gain attention or do anything of that sort from the fact that I may or may not be struggling. Whereas there were other people who were almost looking at the potential that I'm struggling mentally as a way to go viral. And that's simply being it. That sucks because now not only is my privacy being violated, but it's not in a caring way. It's in a way with an ulterior motive. The ulterior motive being, let's just create a false narrative that's based in a little bit of truth, but let's blow it up, let's blow it make it seem like, you know, Emma is moments away from, you know, going to the hospital,

like, you know, like, let's blow it all the way up and let's make it so extreme so that I can go viral on TikTok and stir it up a little bit. Why not? That's not good. Like, that's just fucked up. Now listen, I'm not saying that people that are doing this are bad people. I'm not saying that they should stop.

They can do whatever they would like and it's none of my business. But it's just sad. It's just sad that it happens. Like, it's just sad. It's just sad that it happens. Like it's just sad to me. That that's the point that we've gotten to on the internet where we're going to lightly make us, we're gonna make huge assumptions

about people's mental health and mental state and blow it out of proportion just for clicks. This really is telling of our generation and the world that we live in now. People are so fucking obsessed with fame and hatred and judgment and I'm not

exempt from this I Like when drama goes down on the internet I would be lying if I didn't know every detail. It's interesting. It is interesting. I get it. But we forget that the people that we talk about are human beings. We make assumptions. We put together false narratives to create more drama just so that we have something to talk about, just because we're so fucking bored and we don't know what to do with our lives. So all we do is fixate on internet drama about people that don't even matter. Not that they don't matter, but they don't matter in our own personal lives. We don't know them. They matter as human beings, but in our day-to-day lives, they don't matter. They're the last thing, they're not even on our list of priorities.

What they're doing, what they're not doing doesn't matter in our own personal lives, right? in our own personal lives, right? Yet we as a society love drama and are nosy and we can't take our fucking eyes off of it. make it even easier to create a rumor or to make some sort of drama public knowledge in an hour or less. And so many of us are so entertained by this. And so addicted to this, that we don't even realize that there are real people behind this, real people that this is their lives. And we don't know the full story. We never will, whether it's about me, whether it's about anybody else on this planet,

I'm not even talking about me right now, I'm talking about other people. This is completely unrelated to me right now. We will never know the full story. And what does this information really do for us? You know, it's like a guilty pleasure, this drama. But the problem is is that it's made the internet a terrifying place, because somebody can fabricate a story about you, post it, And it can ruin your life. People can say whatever they want. And whether it's true or not, the public will take it as fact immediately upon seeing the information.

I'm guilty of this. I see one rumor on the internet. I immediately believe it to be true. Why do I do that? Why do we as human beings do that? I don't know, but it's terrifying and it's toxic because, you know, my example is very harmless. People were just assuming that I was like really sick mentally, which is like harmful in a sense where, you know, it was confusing for me to figure out what's true and what's not, you know.

And it was harmful because a lot of people became concerned for me when there was really no reason to be, right? Which is upsetting. And some people were passing judgment on me and whether or not I'm allowed to feel pain or sadness, well, but whatever. And that's harmful or whatever, but there's, you know, that's nothing in comparison to what goes on

on a day-to-day basis on the internet. I don't think people really care about the truth on the internet. I don't think they do. I don't think people really care about the truth on the internet. I don't think they do. I don't think people really care about whether or not the information that they're consuming online is true or not. I don't think that they care. I think that it's simply entertainment.

I don't think that people realize that it's real. And subconsciously, it just feels like almost a reality TV show. And subconsciously, it just feels like almost a reality TV show. I don't think that we remember that the human beings that we discuss are human. They're human. I think people assume that people who are public figures don't see anything, don't see criticism, don't see criticism, don't see rumors, don't see assumptions, don't see criticism, don't see it.

That's not the case. But it is a complicated matter. Because on the other hand, people who decide to put themselves on the internet and be a public figure, that's part of it. You know, it's part of it. It's not fair that people can just start rumors and do whatever they want and, you know, talk about you however they want. It's not fair, but there's also nothing that you can do to stop it, and it's also not

fair to ask to stop it. It's one of those situations that there's no solution to. I think my conclusion is I'm not going to put myself in a box. I think that I felt like I, you know, at one point I felt like I needed to be on Twitter and I needed to be on TikTok because it's a part of our society, right? It's ingrained in our society, like to be on these social media platforms. And when you're not on it, you feel left out, you know what I mean? Like, you go and hang out with your friends and they're like,

did you see the tick talk about this? Did you see the tweet about this? And if you don't have the platforms, you're immediately left out, you know what I mean? It's almost like there's FOMO when it comes to social media. You feel like if you're not present on every platform, you're missing something, you're missing out on something, you're missing out on an opportunity. And I always felt that way.

I hit my limit with Twitter because it was just literally destroying my mental health. To a point where I did have a little depressive episode and I was really depressed for a few days and I realized it all came from Twitter and I was like, okay, there's no reason for this anymore. I don't need to be on this platform. You know what I mean? It's just too much for me and it's too negative and I can't be on here anymore. So I deleted it and immediately I felt better and I didn't miss it for a second. I thought I would and I didn't and I

think that I'm reaching the same realization with TikTok. I refused. I knew deep down that it was a problem and I knew deep down that the nature of the app was toxic for my personal brain because number one, it's so extremely addictive, but number two, it feeds off drama. It is based in drama and negativity in general and rumors and lies. Like the amount of fake and false information on TikTok, the amount of conflicting narratives, conspiracy theories,

harsh opinions, like all of that, being on your for you page on a day-to-day basis makes it hard to form your own opinions and to have your own individual thought when you're constantly being flooded with all this information, and half of it being fake or dramaticized or twisted in ways to fit the narrative that whoever is telling the story wants it to fit. You know, but because it's on the internet, it's all taken as fact. That gets confusing, subconsciously even.

And so I knew it was toxic for that reason, but because it never directly affected me, I never really found a reason to delete the app off my phone But I hit my rock bottom with it, you know and now I know that it needs to go. It's not serving me in my life I make you know obviously on the internet, you know like I make, obviously, on the internet. I make content and create things that I'm so proud of on here on my podcast, on my YouTube channel, and on my Instagram. And I'm absolutely happy just using those platforms. I've found a much healthier balance with Instagram.

I've put too much weight on Instagram in the past, but I've kind of removed that weight. I don't too much weight on Instagram in the past, but I've kind of removed that weight. I don't really even look on Instagram anymore. I mainly just post on there whenever I feel like it, and I don't really put any pressure on it. I just have fun with it now, and I've found that I've found a balance with that, and I've been able to do that.

I've obviously not been able to do that with TikTok, and obviously not been able to do that with Twitter. And that's why I'm now removing those things from my life. Eventually, I'm going to delete my entire TikTok account. I'm not gonna do that yet just because I don't wanna go cold turkey. Like, who knows? Maybe at some point, I'll be able to figure out a way

where I can like post on there and have fun with it without scrolling, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to find that balance and I don't think I will. So we can expect that my TikTok account will be permanently deleted probably within the next six months, depending on whether or not I can somehow find a way

to never look at my for you page again. We'll see, I don't think it's gonna work. I think I'm gonna end up deleting the whole thing. The app will definitely be removed from my phone, except for emergencies when I want to post something. This episode is brought to you by LiquidIV. LiquidIV believes everybody needs hydration every day. It's not just for athletes or that one time you try to hot yoga class. Staying hydrated is essential, whether you're just taking a stroll through your neighborhood, traveling or slogging through back-to-back meetings.

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times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks. I am a big fan of liquid IV. I drink liquid IV after a workout. I drink liquid IV after a long day of sweating in the sun during the summer. I drink liquid IV if I just feel a little bit dehydrated. You know, maybe I have a little headache. I feel a little off. I love it. It's so easy. You just rip the packet open, pour it into a bottle of water, shake it up,

and gulp, gulp, gulp. I always keep a liquid IV in my bag because I never want to feel dehydrated again. My favorite flavors are the passion fruit in the watermelon. And I actually think they're delicious. It's so easy to chug water when there's a liquid IV in it. It's so simple to use. Just rip open a stick and pour the powder in some water for a boost

because real life is extreme enough. Liquid IV, real people, real flavor, real hydrating. Buy a stick of liquid IV at a store near you or head to liquidiv.com and use the code anything for 20% off your order. That's liquidiv.com with the code anything. Tap the banner or visit this episode's page to learn more. I think a lot of times in life we force ourselves to endure things in order to not feel left out or in order to feel accepted in society. You know, like we feel it necessary to have an Instagram account, to have a

take talk account, to go to a certain college, to get a certain job, to wake up at a certain time, to eat a certain way, to live our lives, you know, a certain way, because we're programmed in a way to be kind of like a herd, you know, like, we imitate one another. We want to fit in with one another. So we tend to make decisions based on what will make us feel the most accepted by society, right? So we'll make decisions or put up with things that are bad for us so that we can feel included. And I know that I did that with keeping TikTok and keeping Twitter

for a period of time, because I wanted to fit in. I didn't wanna miss out on stuff. But you have to step back for a second, maybe pull out a journal and write down all of the things in your life, your friends, your family, your hobbies, your lack of hobbies, write it all down.

And then assess what things, and be honest with yourself, assess what things are making your life better and what are making your life worse And if you have something on your list that's making your life worse Cross it out and remove it from your life permanently. There's no reason to Make yourself miserable Just because everybody else is doing it. You know what I mean? Just because everybody else has a TikTok account, I should have a TikTok account.

No, it's bad for me. Or just because everybody's going, you know, to go to college for four years at a university, you know, doesn't mean that I wanna do that. Like maybe I wanna take a gap year. Like, it's important to step back every once in a while and to ask yourself, what do I want for me?

What do I wanna do for me? Not for anybody else, not because I wanna fit in with everybody else, fuck all of that. What do I wanna do for me? I think that that's all I have to say for today. In conclusion, I am doing great, better than I've ever been doing. My daily battles with mental health issues are nothing to be concerned about and are normal. If you feel frustrated with yourself

because you want your mental health problems to just go away and not exist anymore, and you feel almost bad because they never seem to go away. Let me be the person to tell you that that's normal. feel almost bad because they never seem to go away. Let me be the person to tell you that that's normal. There are gonna be ups and downs throughout our lives. Some are gonna be a lot fucking worse than others. It's not linear and you can't expect it to be linear because that's not how the universe works. That's just not how life works.

It just doesn't work like that. Unfortunately, life is an ongoing journey of moments of bliss in between struggle. That's really what life is. Nobody feels blissful all the time. And guess what? If you felt blissful all the time, you wouldn't be living life to the fullest because every time I have a rough week, every time I have a rough day, I always come out of it on the other side and I learn something every single time because

discomfort forces you to grow. Growing is uncomfortable and That's good. I'm going to do my best to be honest and to continue to show the normal and natural and healthy ups and downs of being a fucking human being, because I don't think a lot of people want to do that, which I understand, because it's uncomfortable, and it's vulnerable, and it's scary, and it opens up room for criticism about something that's very vulnerable. I understand why a lot of people don't like to do that,

but I'm going to do't like to do that. But I'm going to do my best to do it, to prove to at least one person that even though I can say that my depression and my mental health has improved since its lowest point, that doesn't mean it's gone. It will never be gone. And I'm okay with that because that's part of being a human being and that's part of the cards that I was dealt. And post pandemic, even though we're still kind of, I don't really know where we're at

with it right now, but, you know, after such a crazy, crazy year and a half, we're all feeling a little bit weird, I think. Don't beat yourself up for that. We all need to be a little bit more graceful and understanding with one another and ourselves. I think that's another lesson of this podcast. Listen, I could go on all day, but I'm not going to because we all know I love to talk in circles. So I'm going to stop all my head. But thank you guys for listening to this episode of Anything Goes. I really hope that you gained something from this or found it interesting. Whatever you may have gotten from this, I'm happy

that you did. If you fucking hated it and you hate me, rock on. Go check out Joe Rogan. You might like that a lot more. I think that's all I got. I love you guys, and I appreciate you listening to me every week. And I appreciate our connection that we have to one another. And if you've recently been concerned about me and my mental health or whatever,

I can assure you that I'm doing fine. I have an amazing support system and never to worry about me. Never worry about me. That trust me. I appreciate it more than anything and it is so fucking nice and kind and I appreciate all of the loving support and concern, but at the same time, like, I'm, there is no need

for it. Like, you know, I'm just sharing the mundane sides of day to day life and, and I am good. All right. I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your week. If you want to follow the Twitter, it's at AG Podcast. If you want to leave us a review on Apple Podcast, I'd really, really appreciate it. If you want to follow anything goes, you can follow us on any platform. Why do I say that every time? You can follow me on any platform that you listen to podcasts. It's just under anything goes. And I really appreciate all of you guys.

I love all of you guys. And life is good. Struggles in all, life is good. Life is good.