anything goes with emma chamberlain - i should take my own advice
Episode Date: September 10, 2025[video available on spotify] one of the things i’m known for is giving advice, but i often find it hard to take my own advice. today i thought i’d share my own advice that i struggle with the most.... eBay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. Uber One for Student Members save on Uber and Uber Eats. https://www.uber.com/us/en/uber-one/student/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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                                        One of the things I'm known for is giving advice. On this very podcast, I give advice every other
                                         
                                        Sunday in a series called advice session. And in my real life, there's nothing I love more than
                                         
                                        sitting down with somebody and talking through a challenge. It's up for debate whether my advice
                                         
                                        is any good. I think all advice should be up for debate. Advice is biased. Advice is based on
                                         
                                        people's personal experiences in life. However, I will say I'm someone who's always prefacing my
                                         
                                        advice with, you should take this with a grain of salt. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
                                         
                                        I'm not a professional. I'm just yapping. You need to figure it out for yourself. But regardless
                                         
                                        of all of this, I'm known for giving advice. And so you'd think, oh, if Emma gives a lot of
                                         
    
                                        advice, then she must handle almost every situation with perfect tact in grace.
                                         
                                        She can take her own advice and find the solution so easily and so seamlessly.
                                         
                                        Life must be so perfect and so easy for Emma.
                                         
                                        No.
                                         
                                        Unfortunately, no, that's not how that works.
                                         
                                        I struggle to take my own advice.
                                         
                                        But even if you're a person who has flawless, incredible, perfect advice, having the wisdom
                                         
                                        to be able to give it.
                                         
    
                                        advice is one thing. But executing on advice is a whole other thing. It takes discipline to handle things
                                         
                                        the right way. Oftentimes, handling situations well comes with delayed gratification. Instant gratification
                                         
                                        is usually a red flag. And so that's why it's hard to follow advice sometimes. It requires you
                                         
                                        to be the bigger person, to have uncomfortable conversations, to stand up for yourself. So even though
                                         
                                        I often know what the answer is, what should be done. That doesn't mean I always do it. And so today I thought
                                         
                                        I'd sit down and share with you all my own advice that I struggle to take the most. This episode is presented
                                         
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                                        things people love. When someone comes to me and says, Emma, I'm feeling burnt out. I feel
                                         
                                        overworked. I'm exhausted. I'm starting to feel depressed. I just don't know how to keep going.
                                         
                                        What should I do? My advice is you need to listen to your body. You need to slow down.
                                         
    
                                        Now, sometimes that's unrealistic. Sometimes we have things that we actually have to do.
                                         
                                        If that's the case, then everything else gets thrown in the garbage temporarily. Actually,
                                         
                                        let's say gets thrown into a storage unit, a metaphorical storage unit, so that we can get it back
                                         
                                        out later. The only thing on the agenda should be what needs to be done indefinitely until you start
                                         
                                        to feel better. You know, it's so important when you're feeling burnt out to take it seriously
                                         
                                        and to let yourself truly rest because that's the only way that you can recover from it, at least in my
                                         
                                        experience. And I've experienced burnout quite a few times in my life in pretty extreme ways. You can't just
                                         
                                        keep working through it and then one day wake up and it'll just be gone. If you keep pushing through it
                                         
    
                                        and you keep working at the level that you've been working, it's only going to get worse.
                                         
                                        That's the nature of burnout, you know? Burnout is more extreme than, I don't know, just being
                                         
                                        a little tired. It's very different. Let's actually look up the definition of burnout.
                                         
                                        Burnout, according to the internet, is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion,
                                         
                                        caused by prolonged or excessive stress.
                                         
                                        It's characterized by feelings of cynicism, detachment, and reduced personal accomplishment.
                                         
                                        Unlike typical tiredness, burnout is persistent and doesn't easily resolve with rest.
                                         
                                        It can significantly impact one's work, relationships, and overall well-being.
                                         
    
                                        Okay, well, listen, I know what you're thinking.
                                         
                                        Emma, your advice is saying to just rest, take as much off your schedule as possible, and then rest.
                                         
                                        Yes, but that's not the full extent of my advice.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        That's step one.
                                         
                                        how I've gotten through burnout is by doing the bare minimum and in the moment of rest,
                                         
                                        analyzing my life to figure out what is causing the burnout and try to come up with solutions
                                         
                                        as to how I can restructure my life so that I'm not under as much stress.
                                         
    
                                        Okay. So that's my advice for burnout. Now, I have a really hard time slowing down.
                                         
                                        This happened to me like in the last month. I've been working very hard.
                                         
                                        in all areas of my life. In my work life, I've been working harder than I probably ever have in my life,
                                         
                                        six, seven days a week from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. And then on top of that,
                                         
                                        I've been really focused on certain creative hobbies. I love the watercolors. I love making
                                         
                                        stuff out of clay. I've been doing a lot of different arts and crafts and trying to improve on those
                                         
                                        skills. So when I'm too tired to work, I'm working on my creative little hobbies. And then in addition to that,
                                         
                                        I also am very regimented about my exercise routine because it keeps me feeling good mentally.
                                         
    
                                        So this sort of structure in my life of like, I'm working nonstop, but then when I do need to
                                         
                                        stop a little bit, I'm doing a creative task or I'm like exercising and then and I'm never
                                         
                                        sitting down and doing nothing. I'm never on my phone. I've been scrolling around. I'm never
                                         
                                        wasting any time. I'm always doing something active with my brain or with my body or with something.
                                         
                                        I have been in this routine lately that's like almost too productive to the point where it's like
                                         
                                        I'm never just sitting down and resting.
                                         
                                        This is self-inflicted.
                                         
                                        No one's telling me to do this.
                                         
    
                                        I don't need to do this.
                                         
                                        I started to feel a little bit burnt out.
                                         
                                        And for me, it feels like not feeling like my sleep is recharging me, like never feeling
                                         
                                        rested, even if I'm getting a lot of sleep.
                                         
                                        I start to get a bit irritable.
                                         
                                        It gets harder for me to motivate to work.
                                         
                                        Like I'm not excited to work on stuff that I normally would be excited to work on.
                                         
                                        Everything starts to feel like a chore.
                                         
    
                                        I start to isolate myself.
                                         
                                        I'm too exhausted from the structure of my life to, like, be around other people.
                                         
                                        Little signs start to pop up.
                                         
                                        And I know that I should nip it in the butt before it gets bad.
                                         
                                        That's my body begging me to slow down a little bit.
                                         
                                        But you want to know what I always do?
                                         
                                        Even though I know I shouldn't ignore it, I keep pushing through until one day I wake up and
                                         
                                        I am done. And I feel depressed. I can't get out of bed. I feel psychologically horrible, dark, bad. And then it gets worse. And then it gets worse. I have a really hard time not getting to the point where I burn myself out. Maintaining a work life balance for like an extended period of time. I'll get a grasp on it. And it'll be really good for a while. But I'm just kind of an extreme person I've realized. And I'm kind of addicted to working on things.
                                         
    
                                        I think because it distracts me from anxiety, it makes me feel in control and I'm a control freak.
                                         
                                        I think there's some sort of like fucked up reason why I have a tendency to run myself into the
                                         
                                        ground. And I know better. All the advice that I would give to other people about burnout,
                                         
                                        I time and time again, fail to follow myself. And it gets to the point where I feel actually
                                         
                                        depressed and it can actually devolve into a depressive episode even at times. I will say,
                                         
                                        I'll give myself credit. I've gotten much better at it as I've gotten older when I was younger. Oh my God, it was
                                         
                                        chaos. I was like in a constant state of burnout for like years. But I didn't know how to recover from it
                                         
                                        properly. Even when it was at its worst, instead of just truly resting, I would lay in bed and feel guilty.
                                         
    
                                        Whereas now I know like, okay, I can now be like, all right, this needs to heal. So I need to just give myself a set amount of time to chill and figure out how to not get to this
                                         
                                        point again, you know, when I had this most recent spurt of burnout, I think the root of the
                                         
                                        problem was anxiety. I've had a lot of anxiety recently. I have a lot of anxiety all the time,
                                         
                                        big whoop, Emma's favorite thing to do, be anxious. I've been particularly anxious as
                                         
                                        of recently. Everything's fine. My anxiety's just been up a little bit, right? And in order to distract
                                         
                                        myself from that. I've thrown myself into work and into my hobbies and into exercise 100%.
                                         
                                        It's given me this sense of control. It's given me this sense of distraction. All this other stuff
                                         
                                        is actually like what I need to be working on anyway. All those things are important for me to have in my
                                         
    
                                        life anyway, but I've taken it too far and I'm not doing anything else and not giving myself
                                         
                                        any time to rest. And so that's the root of the problem. I need to figure out a different way
                                         
                                        so that I'm not almost addicted to everything in my life. Does that make sense? I know it sounds
                                         
                                        like ridiculous to be addicted to working and like doing arts and crafts and like going to
                                         
                                        workout classes. It sounds ridiculous. But it's like I'm addicted to the distraction that those
                                         
                                        things give me. And then I never have any downtime to relax and just be peaceful and quiet
                                         
                                        because I'm constantly working on something, doing something. I'm always being productive.
                                         
                                        I'm addicted to the productivity because it's distracting me from my anxiety. Do you see what I mean?
                                         
    
                                        And so I know better and I shouldn't even be getting to this point.
                                         
                                        It's hard advice for me to follow.
                                         
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                                        instant access to your sales plus the funding you need to go even bigger and real-time insights so you know what's working what's not and what's next because when you're doing big things your tools should to visit square.ca to get started okay next whenever someone comes to me and says emma you know i'm feeling really bad about myself because i'm having a hard time not comparing my life and my journey to other people's lives and
                                         
                                        journeys. Comparison is really bringing me down. Listen, it's natural. It happens. But comparison
                                         
                                        is the thief of joy. And my advice is usually to, number one, put the jealousy and comparison into
                                         
    
                                        perspective, right? The grass is always greener. We look at other people's lives and romanticize them
                                         
                                        and fantasize about them in a way that's completely unrealistic and just not rooted in reality at all.
                                         
                                        Like a lot of our comparisons are actually delusional.
                                         
                                        Let's say we're in a relationship that's struggling.
                                         
                                        We'll look at other people's relationships that look so happy and so wonderful and compare.
                                         
                                        But you never know what's going on.
                                         
                                        That couple might be cheating on each other.
                                         
                                        It might all be an illusion that they're a happy and healthy couple.
                                         
    
                                        They might be fully fucking cheating on each other.
                                         
                                        You know what I mean?
                                         
                                        Like you never know.
                                         
                                        So that's usually the step one.
                                         
                                        And then the step two is usually to work on yourself, on your self-esteem.
                                         
                                        You know, if you feel good about yourself, you're not going to compare yourself to others as often.
                                         
                                        Now, I'm so hyper aware of how damaging comparison can be.
                                         
                                        I'm also hyper aware of how delusional it tends to be, like it's not even rooted in reality.
                                         
    
                                        I'm so hyper aware of how to fix it.
                                         
                                        As hyper aware as I am of these things, I still compare myself to others.
                                         
                                        I'll still go through little phases where I'm comparing myself to others and I don't even check it.
                                         
                                        Like I know I'm doing it and I know it means I need to do some work on myself because when I find
                                         
                                        that I'm doing that a lot, it's usually because I'm not tending to my self-esteem, my confidence.
                                         
                                        There's a disconnect.
                                         
                                        Something's off.
                                         
                                        You know what I mean?
                                         
    
                                        I'm not in a good place with that.
                                         
                                        I still get to that point.
                                         
                                        And sometimes it'll go on for like six months.
                                         
                                        And then I'll be like, wait, I've been feeling like shit lately.
                                         
                                        And that's because I'm in a little routine of comparing myself to others.
                                         
                                        You know, I'm stalking people on Instagram who are hot.
                                         
                                        I'm seeing, like, a cute couple on the street and being like, they look so happy.
                                         
                                        Like, why are they, they look so happy.
                                         
    
                                        Or like walking past a bar and seeing a group of friends and being like, wow, that group
                                         
                                        of friends looks like they're having so much more fun than I've ever had in my life.
                                         
                                        Like, it creeps in.
                                         
                                        And then I'll have the epiphany one day.
                                         
                                        Like, wait, I've been doing this.
                                         
                                        Like, I've been in this state of mind.
                                         
                                        for a few months now. And this needs to be addressed because this is unhealthy and it's making my
                                         
                                        quality of life worse. Sometimes it takes me a lot of time to realize that I'm doing it and then to
                                         
    
                                        put in the work to stop doing it. And then it creeps back in again, you know, and then I have to
                                         
                                        handle it again. It's like whack a mole. It's a really hard one to manage. And I have a tendency to let it
                                         
                                        linger for too long because I'm just too lazy to like address it. You have to be disciplined
                                         
                                        and motivated to catch these toxic mindsets and then to eradicate them. Like it really is like
                                         
                                        it's almost like owning a home. Your brain is like a home. You're constantly up keeping a home.
                                         
                                        And it's exhausting, you know? And sometimes you're going to miss something. You're going to miss that
                                         
                                        you had rats in your walls and they've been pooping in there and now it smells like poop.
                                         
                                        You know what I mean? Like you're going to miss that. You're going to miss stuff sometimes because you're not
                                         
    
                                        always going to be paying super close attention to every single thing that's going on all the
                                         
                                        time. Or you might have a suspicion like, I think we have a cockroach infestation, but I just don't
                                         
                                        want to deal with it right now. So then you ignore it, ignore it, ignore it until it becomes a bigger
                                         
                                        problem. I don't know. I feel like taking care of a home and taking care of your brain is very
                                         
                                        much the same thing. And in an ideal world, we would have a firm grasp on where we're at all times
                                         
                                        and we would handle little toxic things that pop up as they pop up. And the second they pop up,
                                         
                                        we handle it. But again, that's not always realistic. We don't always have the energy to do that.
                                         
                                        And I don't. I try to be as good about it as I can. But I'll let it linger for a little bit too long
                                         
    
                                        sometimes. Okay, moving on. A piece of dating advice that I've given many times is to stay
                                         
                                        emotionally vigilant because love and lust can really cloud our judgment. It can make us accepting
                                         
                                        of bad behavior. It can cause us to make excuses for bad behavior. It can have us prematurely
                                         
                                        come to conclusions about the fate of the relationship. If you let yourself be blissfully,
                                         
                                        ignorantly in love, it can bite you in the ass. You have to stay vigilant. This is advice that I
                                         
                                        give to other people and I also am constantly giving to myself. Like, when in love, it's so easy to just
                                         
                                        become, like your brain fills with like mush because you're just so excited and you're so in love
                                         
                                        you think. And you just want this to be the one and you want this to be your soulmate. And especially
                                         
    
                                        in the honeymoon phase, you probably think that this person's your soulmate because everything
                                         
                                        feels so wonderful and new and exciting. And the reason why that's so harmful is because who you're
                                         
                                        dating is really important, you know, whether it's something casual for the time being or it's
                                         
                                        the person you're going to be with for the rest of your life, it's so important that you're with
                                         
                                        the right person. Because even if you're just casually dating, who we surround ourselves with
                                         
                                        impacts our lives so much more than we realize. If we're around somebody who is lazy,
                                         
                                        we will often become lazy. If we're around somebody who's negative, we will often become more
                                         
                                        negative. We should be incredibly critical of the people that we're dating. But funny enough,
                                         
    
                                        it's so hard to be critical.
                                         
                                        I've gotten a lot better at it, a lot better at it.
                                         
                                        I used to date somebody and be like, I'm marrying them, like a month in.
                                         
                                        I wouldn't usually say that to their face, but I was thinking it.
                                         
                                        And they might have some red flags.
                                         
                                        I'd be like, it's totally fine.
                                         
                                        It's totally fine.
                                         
                                        It's no problem.
                                         
    
                                        I don't even care.
                                         
                                        Or I just turn a blind eye, whatever.
                                         
                                        I've gotten a lot better, but I still jump to conclusions.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        Next, advice I give to anxious people, fellow anxious people.
                                         
                                        It's pointless to worry about things we cannot control.
                                         
                                        All that we need to focus on is what we can do in our lives.
                                         
                                        However, this is the hardest piece of advice for me to follow.
                                         
    
                                        Because even though I know that it's like technically a waste of my energy to worry about things
                                         
                                        that I can't control, of course I'm still worried about them.
                                         
                                        There's a lot of scary things that I can't control.
                                         
                                        That's actually a root of a lot of my psychological issues.
                                         
                                        And it seems that the older I get, the harder this is for me to have.
                                         
                                        handle. But it's a practice that I'm constantly working on. You know, when I find myself worrying about
                                         
                                        things that I can't control, I have to sit down and repeat in my head over and over again,
                                         
                                        you cannot worry about things that you can't control. You cannot worry about things you can't
                                         
    
                                        control. And I just do whatever I can to try to let it go. But it's so fucking hard. It's so hard.
                                         
                                        And it doesn't work every time. And I'm still figuring it out. So is that good advice to give?
                                         
                                        Yes and no, because I think it's true, but executing on it as an anxious person is so
                                         
                                        fucking hard. And I will say, again, I've gotten a lot better at it over the years. I know that it's
                                         
                                        just kind of a mind game. It's just a mindset shift and it gets easier with practice. But again,
                                         
                                        it's like whack-a-mole. It'll get really bad. And then I'll get into a practice of like calming myself down
                                         
                                        and, you know, self-soothing in a way and like even sort of getting into the practice of
                                         
                                        accepting the fact that there are things that I can't control and that's just how it is and there's
                                         
    
                                        nothing I can do so it's not worth my worry. I'll get into a practice like that and then I'll lose
                                         
                                        it and then it'll get worse and it'll get worse and it'll get worse until it's unbearable
                                         
                                        and then I'll handle it again. If I were to be following my own advice, I would never let it get to
                                         
                                        a bad point again. I would put more effort and more time and more energy into keeping it under
                                         
                                        control, but I don't necessarily do that. And I should because it's a serious issue that I have.
                                         
                                        I briefly paused this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Uber.
                                         
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                                        first four weeks free. Become an Uber one for students member and start saving on Uber and Uber
                                         
                                        Eats. Eligibility and member terms apply. Now back to the episode. Another piece of advice that I
                                         
                                        always give to people is that we need to be touching grass. We need to be outside. Humans need to be in
                                         
                                        nature. It's so important for us. It grounds us. It brings us joy. It puts things into perspective.
                                         
                                        there's something about being outside and just seeing the world that puts things into perspective.
                                         
                                        If you're inside on your computer, on your phone, you get sucked into that world and that starts
                                         
                                        to feel like the world. And then the second you go outside, it's like, oh, okay, I see.
                                         
    
                                        There's this. This is what it really is. You know what I mean? This is what the world really is.
                                         
                                        However, I do not prioritize being outside enough. I am inside so much. It is so depressing to me.
                                         
                                        and it genuinely makes me sad, but I just, everything that I do makes most sense to do indoors.
                                         
                                        Like when I'm working, everything requires some sort of technology, computers, recording equipment,
                                         
                                        makes most sense to do that indoors. All of the arts and crafts that I like to do
                                         
                                        indoors. My favorite exercise, hot yoga, hot Pilates, stuff like that. That's all indoors in a
                                         
                                        room. Like, I've spent so much of the summer indoors. I went on one vacation and I was outside like the
                                         
                                        whole time and it was amazing. And then I got home and I've barely been outside since. Like I
                                         
    
                                        completely lost my tan. I'm indoors in the AC looking outside like I should maybe bring my laptop
                                         
                                        out there and like work outside or something. But it's like I know I should and I know it would
                                         
                                        make me feel better. But it seems like too much work and it's hard for me to motivate to do it.
                                         
                                        And then even in my free time, I could go outside and go on a walk. But sometimes I'm like,
                                         
                                        oh, fuck it. I'll just walk on the treadmill. I have a tendency.
                                         
                                        to be inside too much. And I know how bad it is. I know that I would be a happier person
                                         
                                        if I was outside more often, but I really struggle to motivate to do it. And it's not because I'm
                                         
                                        sad or like, it's not even like a sad thing. It's not like I'm sad. I just, it doesn't make
                                         
    
                                        sense in my schedule. Does that make sense? Like, I don't know how to schedule it in and it's
                                         
                                        not quite enough of a priority for me to like force it into my schedule because there's other things
                                         
                                        that are more important to me, and then I just end up inside all the time. And it does impact
                                         
                                        my happiness a little bit. I mean, I touch a lot of metaphorical grass. I don't scroll on social
                                         
                                        media anymore. I don't, like, I'm very much off the internet. And that's where that saying came
                                         
                                        from. People who are chronically online need to touch grass. But I actually need to touch more real grass.
                                         
                                        Like, I actually need to go outside. Anyway, another piece of advice I give a lot is that we must hold our
                                         
                                        sense of self and confidence in who we are as people, our character, rather than our superficial
                                         
    
                                        qualities, like our appearance and or our success. I am pretty good at this, like 60% of the time.
                                         
                                        But again, it comes back to this whack-a-mole thing. If I don't keep tabs on it, next thing I know,
                                         
                                        my self-esteem is rooted in how I look, my success. Like if I don't keep an eye on it,
                                         
                                        my sense of self-in-confidence will go into the wrong places.
                                         
                                        And again, I think this is normal. It's so hard, especially today, to keep our self-esteem and confidence rooted in our sense of self, our character, when what's being rewarded on the internet, and in the world a lot of times, too, is success, is looking good. And I mean, I think it's always been rewarded, but the internet makes it feel 10 times worse. And I'm not even on the internet that much. I don't even scroll and even I still feel this pressure.
                                         
                                        I scrolled on there for enough years that that's permanently ingrained in my brain.
                                         
                                        It's something I have to upkeep.
                                         
                                        And listen, I think for me in particular, I tend to struggle more in regards to my appearance,
                                         
    
                                        more so than success.
                                         
                                        My self-esteem has rarely been based on my success.
                                         
                                        However, my appearance, yes.
                                         
                                        And this might come as a shock to a lot of you because I'm a particularly casual girl.
                                         
                                        I will post on Instagram with no makeup. I'll look like shit on the internet. It's all good. I'm pretty
                                         
                                        open about that. I'm pretty flexible about that, you know? But I have my own criteria. I have my own
                                         
                                        idea of what I want to look like. I have my own. It's exhausting. Listen, I don't want to dig into this
                                         
                                        too far because then we'll be here all day. But let's just say this. Okay. There are times where I start to base my sense of self
                                         
    
                                        in how I look, and I become obsessive with how I look. And not in the ways that are common these days.
                                         
                                        That's why it, like, maybe goes unnoticed, because I haven't gotten any cosmetic procedures.
                                         
                                        You'd look at me and be like, wait, she doesn't seem that obsessed with her appearance.
                                         
                                        Listen, it's weird, but it happens, and it can go unchecked for a year at a time, where I just
                                         
                                        don't have the energy to figure it out. It's exhausting, you know? I always eventually figure it out,
                                         
                                        but a lot of times I should take my advice sooner about that particular challenge than I do.
                                         
                                        Another piece of advice I give is that people pleasing and saying what others want to hear is not
                                         
                                        healthy for ourselves or for those around us. We should strive to be honest and firm in our beliefs
                                         
    
                                        regardless of the audience. This makes us more trustworthy, respectable people not only to others,
                                         
                                        but also to ourselves. Being a people pleaser in the moment seems like the right thing to do.
                                         
                                        Seems like, wow, this is having good social skills, you know. I'm telling people what they want to hear. Everyone likes me. This is great. But it actually is not. You don't respect yourself. Others won't respect you. And you don't add anything to the conversation when you're a people pleaser. And I'm allowed to say all this because I've struggled with people pleasing tendencies my entire life. And I've gotten a lot better, like a lot better. However, there are still times where I crack. And I'm just telling people,
                                         
                                        what they want to hear, especially in work settings.
                                         
                                        Like, there will be something that I genuinely do not like being presented to me.
                                         
                                        And I'll be like, I love it.
                                         
                                        I've never loved anything more in my life.
                                         
                                        And then it steers everybody wrong because they're like, oh, okay, you like it.
                                         
    
                                        Great.
                                         
                                        And then a week later, I'm like, I actually, wait, I want to change everything.
                                         
                                        And everyone's like, what?
                                         
                                        Wait, where did that come from?
                                         
                                        Being a people pleaser is ultimately very harmful.
                                         
                                        It's also kind of like a social cop out in a way.
                                         
                                        it's just taking the easy way out.
                                         
                                        Instead of having your own ideas, instead of having your own character to share with
                                         
    
                                        others, you're just kind of copying what everyone else is doing.
                                         
                                        I still do this sometimes, especially when I'm not around people I trust.
                                         
                                        Like when I'm around people I trust, I'm not a people pleaser.
                                         
                                        But when I'm around new people and I don't exactly understand how they work yet,
                                         
                                        I'll just go back to my default of people pleasing if I'm really uncomfortable
                                         
                                        and I don't know how to handle it.
                                         
                                        And if I were to take my own advice, I wouldn't do that anymore.
                                         
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                                        Okay, next.
                                         
                                        Moments of peace, quiet, and boredom are so important for recharging,
                                         
    
                                        tapping into the creative side of our brain.
                                         
                                        We must make the time in space to be bored sometimes.
                                         
                                        It's so incredibly important.
                                         
                                        And I kind of mentioned this earlier talking about burnout and how, like, I recently was having
                                         
                                        a sort of a fit of anxiety, and to cope with it, I overworked myself.
                                         
                                        No moments of boredom. No peace and quiet. Work, work, work, doing something all the time, doing something all the time to distract myself from my anxiety. Because I was afraid of boredom. I was like, if I get bored, I'm going to have to think about all the things that I'm anxious about. And it's going to be painful and it's going to be scary and I don't want to do it. So I'm going to avoid boredom at all costs. That is a red flag. If you're afraid of boredom, it's because you're running from something, I think. Or you just haven't gotten comfortable with it yet because it's something that's sort of foreign to you. But that's also a red flag.
                                         
                                        It's like we need to be able to be bored sometimes.
                                         
                                        I know how important it is to honestly even schedule in a moment of peace, quiet and boredom
                                         
    
                                        aside from falling asleep.
                                         
                                        Like that's its own thing.
                                         
                                        That doesn't count.
                                         
                                        You're going to bet.
                                         
                                        We need moments during the day when we're just sitting, just relaxing, quiet, you know.
                                         
                                        And yeah, that might be in the car.
                                         
                                        That might be perhaps eating lunch with no stimulation, no YouTube video playing, no one on the phone
                                         
                                        to talk to, you know. It doesn't necessarily need to be just sitting and staring at the wall.
                                         
    
                                        It could still be productive, right? I used to fill my boredom with going on the internet,
                                         
                                        scrolling on social media, blah, blah, blah. I don't do that as much anymore. And so I thought,
                                         
                                        oh, I guess I'll never run away from boredom again. There's no way I can because I don't have social
                                         
                                        media. But what's funny is, if you want to run away from boredom, you'll run away. So now I just
                                         
                                        run away in different ways, responding to emails that I don't really need to be responding
                                         
                                        to. I don't know. I'm like, I'm doing anything but just sitting there in silence. Instead of
                                         
                                        driving in the car in silence, I'm calling my parents or calling a friend. Like, I just need to talk to
                                         
                                        somebody. If you're uncomfortable with peace and quiet, it's very easy to avoid peace and quiet.
                                         
    
                                        And yet we need that. That's advice I give a lot. And clearly I struggle to follow it because I
                                         
                                        recently struggled to follow it. Another piece of advice that I give is when people are mean to us,
                                         
                                        it's because they're hurting. Think about the times in your life when you've been mean.
                                         
                                        Have you ever been mean when you were in a good place? Have you ever been mean when you
                                         
                                        are happy? No, we're mean when we're hurting. As they say, as the quote is,
                                         
                                        hurt people, hurt people. And so my advice to people who are dealing with mean people is don't
                                         
                                        take it personally because they are struggling. It has nothing to do with you. And I really do believe
                                         
                                        that that's true. However, I'm a very sensitive person. And even though I know that that's true,
                                         
    
                                        I still sometimes take it personal. There are still moments where I'm like, this feels like a
                                         
                                        personal attack. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like they're being mean
                                         
                                        to me because I deserve it. Like, I don't even know. I don't even know. But sometimes it still
                                         
                                        stings. Like, it's one thing to get constructive criticism, okay? Some people take offense to
                                         
                                        constructive criticism. I personally don't. I'm all about constructive criticism. I might not agree
                                         
                                        with it. Somebody might give me constructive criticism, and I might analyze it and think about it,
                                         
                                        think about it, think about it, and come out the other side. Like, you know what? I appreciate it,
                                         
                                        but that wasn't, for me, I don't really agree with it. When people are just fucking mean, that's different.
                                         
    
                                        And it's hard for me not to take it personal sometimes, especially if I'm in a particularly
                                         
                                        sensitive state of mind. I'll take it personally even though I know better. Okay, last but not least,
                                         
                                        this one's a bit mortifying, to be honest. When someone's struggling psychologically, my first piece
                                         
                                        of advice is stop fucking talking to me and go talk to somebody who's a professional who knows how to
                                         
                                        handle this. I always give this advice. Do I take it? No. There are so many psychological challenges
                                         
                                        that I probably should be seeing some sort of professional for. A little bit of OCD.
                                         
                                        anxiety and the panic disorder and then all these other issues there's more um but we'll just cut it off
                                         
                                        there it's like just a little short list you know what i mean which by the way everyone has psychological
                                         
    
                                        issues sorry i i don't care who you are if you dig deep enough there's a challenge there's an issue
                                         
                                        there's something it's just normal it's normal being a human is fucking challenging and we're all we all
                                         
                                        got something no one gets through this life unscathed okay there are a lot of things that i should
                                         
                                        probably be speaking to a professional about that I'm not. However, I will say that,
                                         
                                        and I'm not saying this is the right answer, but in my defense, I have solved a lot of my
                                         
                                        psychological issues along the way. Like, I've had psychological issues in my life and been
                                         
                                        able to figure out through help from people in my life and just figuring it out on my own.
                                         
                                        And I don't necessarily think that that's wrong, but I just, I give that advice a lot,
                                         
    
                                        and I don't always take it. And there's been moments where I've had a bit of
                                         
                                        professional help here and there, but majority of my psychological issues have been solved by me
                                         
                                        and my parents. And that definitely contradicts the advice that I give. Like, I would probably benefit
                                         
                                        from a bit of professional intervention. Like, how could it hurt? But I probably should follow that
                                         
                                        advice. Anyway, that's it for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did, new episodes
                                         
                                        every Thursday and Sunday, every other Sunday is an advice session. So now that I just devise
                                         
                                        valued all of my advice by saying, hey, this is like all the advice that I give that I don't
                                         
                                        follow myself. Totally tune in to the advice session. No, but I actually do follow this advice.
                                         
    
                                        Sometimes it's just the hardest advice for me to follow. It has the highest failure rate out
                                         
                                        of all of my own advice to myself. Do you know what I'm saying? Keep up with anything goes on
                                         
                                        social media, add anything goes. Keep up with me on the internet at Emma Chamberlain. And check out
                                         
                                        my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. We're online. We're in the world. You can find us. You'll find
                                         
                                        if you want to. That's all I got for today. Thank you for listening. Thank you for hanging out.
                                         
                                        I hope you enjoyed it. And I'll talk to you in a few days. Love you all. And goodbye.
                                         
