anything goes with emma chamberlain - lower your expectations about people [video]

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

[video available on Spotify] we often find ourselves disappointed with other people. there are times when we set realistic expectations for people, such as expecting somebody to treat you with respect, or to follow the law and not steal from you or harm you. those are realistic, normal, healthy expectations to have. but there are times when we become disappointed in people because they didn't meet our expectations. but we have to ask ourselves, did we set the expectation too high? today i want to talk about having unrealistic expectations about people and why we should try to eradicate those from our mind. because i think many of us expect a lot. and it's complicated because having a set of expectations for how you want to be treated and for who you want to have in your life is important, healthy, and how you keep yourself safe and happy. but at the same time, we can take it too far and we can set expectations for people that are impossible to reach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We often find ourselves disappointed with other people. This is a common and constant experience. There are times when we set realistic expectations for people. Realistic expectations would be expecting somebody to treat you with respect or expecting somebody to follow the law and not break into your home and steal all your stuff. You know what I'm saying? Those are realistic,

normal, healthy expectations to have. And there are times when people don't meet those realistic expectations. They stoop really low and they disappoint you in a big way. And when that happens, it's very clear that this is not a person that you want to be around. And it's very clear that it's their fault, right?

They couldn't meet a realistic expectation that shouldn't even be a question. Handling that situation can be very challenging, but it's very clear who's at fault, right? The person who didn't meet the realistic expectation. But there are times when we become disappointed in people. They didn't meet our expectation, but we have to ask ourselves, did we set the expectation too high? Did they even have a chance to meet our expectations or were they destined to fail from the start? Today I want

to talk about having unrealistic expectations about people and why we should try to eradicate those expectations from our mind. Because I think a lot of us expect the world out of other people. Whether it's people we know or it's people we don't know, we tend to expect others to be superhuman without even realizing that we're doing it. And it's complicated because having a set of expectations for how you want to be treated and for who you want to have in your life is important and healthy and how you keep yourself safe and happy. But at the same time, we can take it too far and we can set expectations for people that are unrealistic and impossible to reach.

But we can convince ourselves that those are realistic expectations to have when in reality they aren't. We set expectations about people that we know and people that we don't know. For the people that we know, we tend to set expectations based on what we know about them. And when we know somebody, we tend to think that we know everything about them. But the truth is, nobody knows everything about someone except for that person. And even that person might not know everything about themselves. But I think we can find ourselves assuming that we know everything about a person

because we're close to them. When in reality, there are things still that are a mystery to us about them. And so we can set expectations about the way that they behave and we can expect them to remain consistent in a way with who they are because we know them a certain way. But there's a chance that there's things about them that you don't know.

And they might come out to surprise you and they might shock you about the person because you didn't expect it. You thought you knew everything about them. And you had this expectation about who they were and what their character was. And something kind of unusual might pop out at some point and surprise you. And not align with your expectations for that person. And you can find yourself disappointed in them because something that they did didn't align with your perception of who they were or who they are.

I'll give you an example. Let's talk about your grandma. Let's say you and your grandma are really close and she never raises her voice. She never, ever raises her voice. And one day you're at your grandma's house and you drop a piece of cake on the floor, on accident. She gave you a slice of cake and you dropped it on the floor. And then out of nowhere she starts screaming at you.

She's like, what the fuck? Pick it up. She explodes. And you're like, what? Like grandma has never raised her voice. And you're pissed. You're disappointed. You expected your grandma to be a perfect sweet kind angel. You didn't even know she had this in her to yell at you. And you become incredibly disappointed. And you're so hurt.

Which, you know, it's not nice for somebody to raise their voice at you. But, you know, it's human and it happens sometimes. And as long as she didn't say anything to me, and I think, you know, it's a forgivable action. And so you call your parents and you have them pick you up from grandma's house. And you make the decision that you never want to talk to your grandma again.

Because you saw a side of her that didn't meet your expectation of her and you never want to see her again. You're scared of her, you don't like her, you never want to see her again. This is like a weird example, but you get the idea, okay? Something out of character happened with somebody that you know. And even though it was technically something that's forgivable, you had an unrealistic

expectation for your grandma. You expected your grandma to be the perfect sweet angel grandma 24-7. And the second that she wasn't that for a moment, you can never think of her the same again. You don't like her anymore. You don't want to spend time with her anymore. Again, this is such a weird example, but I think it's painting the right picture.

But let's say what you don't know is that your grandma just lost $50,000 because she got robbed. Somebody robbed her. Somebody robbed her bank, okay? And she lost $50,000. Sorry, I'm not laughing because of this metaphorical grandma, lost $50,000.

I'm laughing because I don't know where the story is coming from. It's coming out of my ass. Let's say your grandma lost $50,000. The bank got robbed. Her money's gone. Her credit card got stolen, okay? She's really upset because she doesn't know how she's gonna pay her mortgage that month.

She just lost $50,000. Anybody would be a wreck if they got $50,000 stolen, okay? But you don't know that, right? You don't know that about your grandma. She didn't want to tell you that because she didn't wanna burden you with that information, but it came out in a different way. She exploded, she raised her voice at you, she yelled at you,

and she didn't live up to your expectation that you had for her. And now you don't think of her the same. You don't like her anymore. And you don't even wanna forgive her because you're so confused and upset by this. That's an example of how we can set expectations for people that we know that are unrealistic.

In this example, expecting grandma to be perfectly sweet and kind and soft in gentle 24.7 and to never lose her temper or raise her voice in a way that's normal, you know? That would be an unrealistic expectation, in my opinion. We can also set our expectations unrealistically high for people that we don't know, and we can put people on a pedestal

before they've earned that spot. When we don't know somebody, there's a lot of room in our minds to build them into something that they're not. We have a tendency to fill in the blanks when we don't know the full story. And with somebody who's still kind of a stranger to you, it can be easy to assume what they're really like in person. But the likelihood that they're going to meet that expectation is low. Okay. For example, with celebrities we like, we don't know them personally. We are familiar with their online identity, but we don't really know them. It's so easy to assume that someone's personality is the exact same in real life as it is online, because all that we know about a person

is their online identity, you know? But there's so much that isn't seen on a public level with celebrities. And we're left with a lot more question marks than we even consciously realize we are. Like, I think a lot of us feel like we know celebrities, but then if we were to really look into our heads and close our eyes and think about it, we would realize how much we really don't know about them. We use our imaginations to fill in the blanks

of celebrities' personalities. And if we like the celebrity, we can have a tendency to build them up in a good way. Because they seem good online or in the press, we can assume that they're also good in all other categories of life because it's just easy to infer. And because celebrities are already put on the pedestal just by nature because with fame comes a level of status, I guess, although it is all kind of an illusion, but does it matter

if it's an illusion, if it benefits these celebrities in their lives? You know what I mean? Is it really an illusion? If a lot of people believe it, that's a question for another day. But we already put celebrities on a pedestal just by nature because they're successful and they've accomplished the ultimate dream of becoming a celebrity. And so if we like a celebrity and they're already on a pedestal just by nature, we can really build up our expectations for celebrities because not only do we think that we like them as people based on what we've seen so far, but also they are already on this pedestal that society puts them on.

So, they're on like an ultra-high pedestal. And we expect perfect behavior from celebrities. I've noticed this on the internet. You know, there is virtually no room for error for celebrities on the internet. And I understand why on a psychological level because because again, we don't know the full story about celebrities. We see what we see, but that's not everything. And on top of that, we already deify celebrities.

We look at them like they're almost God-like creatures at times. And those two things combined make us forget that they're just human beings like everyone else and they're not going to live up to your expectations. You know, they're definitely not going to live up to that expectation. If you meet a celebrity and they're kind of an asshole, don't be surprised. You know what I'm saying? Even the nicest celebrity, the one who is the most

likely to live up to your expectations would still fail to meet your expectations. Because the level that we expect them to reach is not even human at times, expecting them to be morally perfect. A lot of times always look perfect in a lot of ways. We expect celebrities to handle every situation with grace, to constantly be polite and in a good mood, etc. And in reality, a lot of celebrities are not even close to that. In fact, they're on the complete opposite end of that, you know, behind the scenes, maybe. But I think that that's a good example of setting unrealistic expectations for someone that you don't know. But another example would be when you have a crush on

somebody. I just recently talked about this in another episode. So this might sound like I'm just a broken record. But you know when you have a crush on someone and you don't really know them yet. Like they're still a stranger to you. Maybe they're in your math class and they're across the room and you've never spoken to each other. But you have a huge crush on them because they're so cute and they're really funny. Like one time they raised their hand and made fun of the teacher and made a joke at the teacher and now you have a crush on them because they're so cute and also they made fun of the teacher. They're so silly, you know, so you have a crush on someone, but you don't know them yet. And over the course of a few months, let's say, you just watch this person from across the

room and you never have the courage to talk to them, but you just start building them up in your mind. You know, you start imagining what it would be like to date them. And you paint this whole picture in your mind like, oh, you know, they would text me every day and tell me how beautiful I look. And we would kiss every day under the sunset. And we would go on dates every night. And their voice would sound like this in my ear.

And like, you know, you just start building them up in your mind. I've done this a million times. I've done this every time I've ever had a crush on someone. I completely create them in my mind. During this weird period between me getting to know them and me starting to have a crush on them. It's like, I have a crush on them,

but I don't have the courage maybe to talk to crush on them. It's like, I have a crush on them, but I don't have the courage maybe to talk to them quite yet. So maybe a month goes by and then eventually I get to know them. And then I find out the truth after. Yeah, when you have a crush on somebody, but you don't really know them, you weren't friends with them first, you can completely formulate them in your mind into the perfect significant other. And you can dream them up to be this perfect bay. I love the word bay. So underrated. So freaking underrated. You guys bringing it back. And then let's say you actually end up dating your crush. And then let's say you actually end up dating your crush. And they're okay. They're an okay significant other, but you know,

maybe they're a little bit immature in some ways. Maybe they don't respond to your texts sometimes for a whole day. They kind of leave you hanging because maybe they have a hobby that they're really into and they don't respond to you immediately. Or maybe their voice is actually a little bit annoying. It wasn't what you expected it to be. Like when you actually were

talking to them, you know, their voice was kind of squeaky or something and you'd never heard it before. And now you're hearing it and you're like, oh, I don't really like that. And then they actually aren't maybe as smart as you expected them to be, you know, maybe you're talking to them about some sort of complicated topic and they're just not really getting it and you're like, what? Like I thought that they were going to be so smart, they looked so smart and witty from across the room, like what's going on? But yet they are a good person in a lot of ways, they're not necessarily doing anything wrong, but they're just not living up to the expectation that you set. This is another example of setting an unrealistic

expectation for someone that we don't know. And last but not least, when it comes to making friends, this can also happen. You see some kids, a friend group maybe from across the room, maybe at work, okay, maybe you're at work, and you see this cool group of people at lunch sitting together, and you see this cool group of people at lunch sitting together and they all have cool outfits maybe and they're kind of a cool

friend group and they just seem so laid back and chill and nonshellant good vibes, you know, you're like, wow, what a cool vibe friend group and then maybe in reality you actually join the friend group, you become friends with everybody. And, you know, the conversations you have with them are cool, but they're maybe kind of boring. And maybe you get to know them and you see that they actually don't have good taste in some stuff. Maybe their outfits are really cool, but then their music taste is awful. But you assumed their music taste would be amazing because their outfits were cool,

and usually if people have good taste and clothes, they have good taste and music, and they just aren't really what you thought. And maybe they're even decent friends, but they just aren't what you thought they were going to be. This is another example of setting your expectations to high for people that you don't even know. We have to leave some room for error for people.

Now obviously we can't leave too much room, right? This is when things get complicated, okay? We have to leave some room for error for people, but we can't leave too much room. Now, anything that's like this, where it's like the line is blurred is Confusing and there's no Perfect way to explain where the line is right between Leaving a healthy amount of room for people to grow and evolve and become better people Versus putting your foot down and saying I'm not tolerating this behavior. You messed up way too big time and it's over. You know what I mean?

I can't have you in my life. The line is blurred, but I think it's important to set your deal breakers in your mind so that you can refer to them in moments when you're trying to figure out whether or not something is a deal breaker. If somebody disrespects you, if somebody hurts you, bad in some way, if somebody breaks the law, if somebody puts you in danger, if somebody

takes advantage of you, you know, if someone does something really bad, it's obvious. Like, it's obvious that that's a deal breaker. It's a little bit more obvious at times to call those things out. I'm not saying that it's easier all the time because there can be relationships in our lives that sort of cause us to become blind to certain things. But for the most part, those things are easier to call out. It's when we set our expectations too high and don't leave any room for error that maybe we need to alter the expectations that we set. The truth is humans are flawed.

All humans are flawed. It doesn't matter if it's a celebrity or the president of the United States or your doctor or your therapist or your significant other or your priest at your church. It doesn't matter. Every single human being is flawed. And at times, we can convince ourselves that people are not flawed, that certain people are not flawed, especially when someone's on a pedestal. You know, when we're young, we put our parents on a pedestal, we think that they can do no

wrong. When we're super involved in a religion, we can believe that our leader of the church can do no wrong at times. When we're dating somebody and we're just so infatuated by them, we can start to believe that they can do no wrong. But the truth is across the board, everyone is flawed. And it's inevitable that at some point, someone that you put on a pedestal will disappoint you. Someone that you set high expectations for will disappoint you. And I think at times it's okay to be disappointed, even if you set your expectations too high. And even if they never had a chance to live up to your expectations, I think at times it is okay to feel disappointed even when you did set your expectations too high.

Because that's a human emotion to feel. But I think what's really important is what's your next step? Are you going to find a way to forgive them, to see the humanity in them, to give them room to become better. Are you going to communicate with them and explain to them why you're disappointed in them and hopefully help them in their growing process? Or are you just going to walk away because you're disappointed and you just don't even want to keep trying? It's your right to make whichever decision that you want to make. And at the end of the day, nobody can say

that that decision is wrong. The line is so blurry between what's a deal breaker and what's not at times, that I can't write out a specific formula for how to handle the situation properly. But I think as long as you have in mind that everyone is flawed and that everyone's going to disappoint you at some point and that that's okay. And that in a lot of scenarios, that is an opportunity for both parties to grow and both

parties to become better people. Then I think that's a really good place to be. As long as you're still protecting yourself from really bad behavior. I mean, that's why I just get so messy, you know, because it's like, what is bad behavior? Some bad behavior is obvious. Some bad behavior is a little bit harder to pinpoint. The other thing is, not everyone is like you. You know, not everyone was raised like you. Not everyone has had the experiences that you've had. And so naturally,

your moral compass, your list of priorities, your nature, like your personality and your nature, and your, I feel like everybody's particular makeup, you know, the combination of morality and values and priorities and personality. I feel like everybody's makeup is like a thumbprint, you know, it's, they're all different. There might be two that are similar, but they're never exactly the same. It's like a snowflake. No two snowflakes are ever exactly the same.

Personality's are like that. And so, a lot of times we can set in unrealistic expectation that people are going to be just like us. You know, they're going to handle situations like we would. They're going to treat us how we treat others. And the truth is, is that as much as it would make life easy if that was true, that actually is kind of an unrealistic expectation. Because all of our make-ups are so different. The way that we function is unique to us. And so we can't expect somebody else to match that because it's impossible.

We are all individuals with our own set of life experience and set of morals and values and traits. And because no two are the same, it is unrealistic to expect other people to behave in the same way you would in all situations. I think the key and my promotion of mindfulness, okay? But it is true. A certain level of reflection is necessary to distinguish whether or not we're disappointed in somebody for a rational reason or for an irrational reason. And the only way to figure that out is to reflect and maybe even to talk about it with somebody and maybe even to journal about it, but to somehow figure it out because it is a complicated thing to navigate.

And it can be easy to convince yourself that your unrealistic expectations are realistic. But I think it is a challenge that's worth taking on because it's not fun to have unrealistic expectations about people. It's not fun. You know, not only are other people being rejected by you possibly, but also you are suffering on a personal level. I would argue the one who suffers most

from unrealistic expectations are actually the person who has the expectations. The other person who was expected to live up to set expectations probably will have an easier time moving on from, I mean, I guess that's unfair to assume, but I would argue that the haver of unrealistic expectations is the one who suffers most. Because if you're expecting too much out of people,

all the time, you will constantly be left disappointed. You know, expectation equals disappointment. This is like something every therapist will tell you. You know, when you expect things, you will end up disappointed. When you're open-minded about what comes to you, you will be left in a much happier headspace, regardless of the outcome. Constantly being disappointed in other people will leave you feeling unhappy.

It'll leave you feeling a sense of hopelessness. It will make you miserable because you'll feel like everyone in the world sucks, you know. When in reality that's actually not true. It's just that everyone in the world is not perfect like you wanted them to be. And in a way that's sort of you're doing, you know, the way you see the world is not based on the world itself always. At times, we can convince ourselves that something is true, and then we can start to see the world in that way.

So if you set your expectations too high, and then nobody lives up to those expectations, and so you're constantly disappointed in the people around you, you might start to believe that everybody sucks because that's the world that you've created. But if you lower your expectations to a point that's more realistic and you're more open-minded about people's behavior and who they are as people, you'll find that you're much happier in a lot of ways. Because even when you do get disappointed, it's much less of a blow to you because you didn't expect anything to begin with.

You were like, eh, we'll see what happens. I don't know. I don't know what this person's gonna be like. Or, you know, this person's personality is ever changing and they could bring a new side of them to the table today. I don't know. And if you're constantly just open-minded and sort of flexible, then in a weird way,

it's just much easier to be accepting of whatever they end up being. You know what I'm saying? Okay, now I'm getting, now I'm like getting a little wordy. Okay, my brain is starting to hurt from this. I also think that, you know, setting expectations too high for other people can be a sign of some issue in your mind. It could be a sign that you're relying on external sources for your happiness. When you're your own source of happiness, it's much easier to be resilient to the world around you and to the people around you because your foundation is so solid and it's within you. You're in

control of it. But when you put the power into other people and you expect them to behave a certain way, which will then result in your happiness, then you're bound to be miserable. If your happiness is in your hands and your contentment is in your hands, then you're much less reliant on other people's behaviors or whether or not they reach your expectation because you're already content

with you. So it's much less of a blow if they disappoint you. It's much less of a blow if they make a little mistake or they're not what you expected them to be because you're not as emotionally invested because they're not providing you a sense of happiness. I'll give you an example of this. Let's say you're in a relationship with someone and

you have a lot of expectations for them because subconsciously you're relying on them for your happiness. You know you expect them to text you every morning and every night and say good morning and good night. And you expect them to answer their phone every time you call them. And you expect them to surprise you with flowers and surprise you with little dates on the beach once a week. You have all these expectations that they're going to spoil you in a certain way.

And they're going to shower you with attention. But in reality, they don't do that. Okay. Sometimes they don't text you before bed. Sometimes a month goes by and you guys don't have time to go in a date. Sometimes they don't surprise you to pick you up at the airport when you land from a flight. You know, sometimes they don't fulfill those fantasies, right? And whenever they don't fulfill one of those expectations, you are so upset.

Okay, let's say one night you don't get a good night text from your significant other. And again, you expect them to, right? Because you think that that's the right thing to do. And yet, you're not telling them that you have this expectation. You're just expecting it. And they don't text you good night. And you're waiting to go to sleep for them to text you good night. First, because you want them to do it first. Then they don't do it in your miserable. The next morning, they text you and they're like, oh my god, sorry, I fell asleep.

How are you? Good morning. And you're like, oh, okay, well, like that was good. But they didn't text me. Like, why didn't they text me last night? And you're pissed at them. And you're upset. And you're disappointed in your mad. When in reality, expecting somebody to text you good morning, good night, every single day is kind of in unrealistic expectation without some level of communication. You know, that might not be somebody's communication style. Like for example, I don't always text people, significant others, friends, parents. I don't always text people before I go to sleep, but I know some people who expect that out of their significant other.

Yet, if they never asked for it and they never communicated that that was a priority for them, they just expected it, then of course they're going to be left disappointed. And I think this is just a great example of how unrealistic expectations will leave you miserable all the time because you are weirdly subconsciously relying on that good night text to bring you a sense of happiness. And, you know, I have to admit, I've been like this before. My first relationship especially, I felt like I relied on them completely for my happiness. Their attention and their praise and their compliments to me, like that was like my oxygen, so toxic. But that was my oxygen, okay, like I needed that.

And I had incredibly high expectations for them. And when they didn't live up to those expectations, I was beside myself. I was a mess. I was miserable. I couldn't function. Because all of my happiness relied on them meeting my expectations. And it was this game in my head constantly. Like, are they going to meet my expectations today? Now what's interesting about that situation was I do feel like to a certain extent, they actually set the expectation because in the beginning of the relationship,

they treated me so well, you know, in a way. Like they were like so above and beyond. And then it all stopped, right? I think a lot of people experience that. So in a way, yeah, they sort of set that expectation, but in another way, I set that expectation too, because I sort of took what they gave me in the beginning of the relationship

and decided that it was going to be like that forever. When in reality, the honeymoon phase of a relationship is always going to be filled with more emotion and more attention and all of this. Listen, I'm not saying that that was a good situation for me or whatever. Like, I'm not saying that that was like, that was not a good relationship. Okay. But I will take responsibility for my part in it and say, yeah, a lot of my happiness relied on them at the time. And my expectations were set way too high for them in a way that they were never going

to be able to meet. I think there are a few things that you can do to try to maintain healthy expectations for people. Obviously, as I've already said, number one is being mindful, constantly checking in with yourself on what you expect from others and asking yourself where the expectations are coming from, whether or not they're realistic, whether or not you would even be able to fulfill the expectations that you're setting for others, et cetera. Checking in with yourself and asking yourself questions, I think, is one of the best things you can do.

But also, I think taking your preconceived ideas about a person with a grain of salt is key as well. We all have preconceived ideas about people we know and people we don't know. And those ideas can create unrealistic expectations very easily. And so I think if we remember that nothing is said in stone and we take our preconceived ideas with a grain of salt and

Be open to the idea that our preconceived ideas might end up being wrong Eventually in some way we might be proven wrong by them. We might get disappointed by them Then we're so much less likely to be disappointed because we're sort of anticipating any outcome. I also think it's so huge to be open-minded when it comes to your perception of somebody. Be open to letting it evolve and change over time. I also think unrealistic expectations lack a level of empathy. When someone doesn't live up to your expectations, try to find empathy inside of you somewhere

and empathize with the person for a minute. But you might empathize with them and find, wait a minute, maybe they're struggling in their life right now and I don't know about it. And that's why they behaved in the way that they did that I didn't like. Or maybe they weren't raised in a way where they learned how to behave a certain way. Or maybe they're just not wired the same way I am.

And so they didn't automatically behave in the way I expected them to. You know, when you empathize with someone, you're able to sort of look deeper into what the root of something is. And you can't do that when you're just looking on the surface level. Like, let's go back to my grandma example from earlier. You know, grandma yells at you for the first time ever and she's always this sweet angel and

It's just so weird, okay, but the reason why she was on edge was because she got $50,000 stolen from her from the bank, okay? That's why she was she freaked out. Okay, that's why she was in a bad mood from the surface level You might think well grandma sucks now fuck grandma, I don't fuck it, fuck grandma. But then in reality, it's like, no, she's going through something and you never even asked grandma what she's going through to ask why she exploded with anger in a way that was out of character. You know what I'm saying? Before jumping to conclusions, it's important to empathize with others and also to communicate with them.

If it makes sense to ask them like, hey, why did you do this? Or why are you like this? Or whatever. It never hurts to communicate respectfully and it never hurts to empathize. Even if you come to a conclusion that you're dumb with somebody, they're out of your life, you're dumb with them. It always makes sense to empathize first, at least for a moment. And last but not least, focus on being the source of your own fulfillment in happiness.

Now I know happiness is complicated, right? Because happiness is such an abstract complicated thing. It's so not easy to describe or to, I don't know, there's a lot of talk about happiness, right? Like, be the source of your own happiness. Now I think we all know what that means, right? Like finding fulfillment within yourself, not searching externally for happiness, but happiness is complicated because it's not a constant in our lives. It's always coming and going and the source of it is always a little mysterious to us, you know.

But I think we all kind of know what I mean. When I say to focus on being the source of our own happiness and fulfillment, like we have the ability to lean on ourselves for emotional fulfillment. It's not easy to do that. It takes a lot of mindfulness and practice and growing to get to a place like that, but it's absolutely possible. And I think making that a goal for yourself, you know, making it a goal to not rely on others as a source of happiness can be so helpful when it comes to keeping

the expectations that we have for people realistic. When you are the source of your own fulfillment and happiness, you're much less likely to create unrealistic expectations for other people. I don't know you guys. That's just freaking me. Okay, that's just me. I'm literally sweating my ass off. Oh my God, why am I sweating? Like, I don't know, I'm sweating. I'm totally sweating right now. Oh, I'm actually, I know I am sweating, actually. It's because my light that I use to film the podcast,

if you're watching the video version of this episode, then you can see me and I'm properly well lit by a professional light. And that light gets really hot and I'm wearing this sweater. So I'm just sweating. But also funny story. So I was at the nail salon yesterday and I was like, okay, I want this sort of creamy Yellow color like that's what I want this week creamy yellow color and so my nail artist goes and

Gets the color right and I look at the bottle and the name of the nail polish is blinded by the ring light and I'm like And the name of the nail polish is blinded by the ring light. And I'm like, this is a little bit too fucking real for me today, babe. This is a little too real for me because I really am just blinded by the frickin' ring light. Like what am I doing right now? I'm blinded by the ring light. Okay, there's a, well, it's not exactly a ring light, but there is something very similar to a ring light lighting me right now, blinding me.

And so this nail color is just so fitting, but I am, I am embarrassed by it. The nail color names are getting a little bit too real. They're getting a little bit too current. Anyway. Thank you all for listening. Thank you all for hanging out. As always, please let me know what you think. You can tweet me at AG podcast or you can message me on Instagram at anything goes.

You can follow me on Instagram if you want to see me as a person at Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlaincoffee.com, use code AG15 for a little discount. You can listen to new episodes of anything goes every Thursday and every Sunday. Come and hang out whenever you want, okay? My arms are wide open for you. Come hang out whenever I'm always here, ready hang okay and that's all I have for today. I love and appreciate all of you and I will talk to you soon. I need to turn off my ring light okay love you all. you