anything goes with emma chamberlain - plastic surgery

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

hello. so i got to go to fancy event recently…and that’s great, but unfortunately that day, i was just not feeling myself…i was feeling a little insecure and not too cute. and the thing about fancy events is people always take a lot of photos and that happened there…there were some pictures taken of me at the event that i was not a fan of that kept getting reposted and honestly, i had a little freak out. i was really struggling with my self-image. and that got me thinking about plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures…what are the negatives, positives and should you tell someone about them? so i am talking all about that, including how i feel about them and whether i would ever get one. honestly, it’s kind of a layered topic, but i love talking this stuff out with you.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm going to tell you a little story. So a few weeks ago, I had like a fancy event where I had to wear a dress and put on makeup, stuff like that. And on the day of the event, I was not feeling too cute. Okay, I wasn't feeling very confident. I just felt gross. But yet, your calendar does not pause when you don't feel cute. You still got to keep going. You still have to fulfill your promises, right? Even if you're feeling a little bit gross. So,

I still had to proceed, get ready for this fancy event, and go to this fancy event. So, that is what I did. Was the event enjoyable? Of course, it was great. I try not to let my own insecurity of my appearance get in the way of a good time. So I did enjoy myself. Anytime there was a photo taken of me, I was a little bit on edge because I was like, ooh, I don't know why I just don't feel cute today.

And I don't really want this to be captured, but at the same time, at fancy events, a lot of images are captured. And honestly, that's one of the main purposes of these events is capturing images. So, a lot of photos were taken of me on this day. And in the moment, it was challenging

because I just wasn't in the mental space to be having photos taken of me. So, you know, I had to just push through it. Anyway, I know that all that sounds fucking ridiculous. It's like Emma, shut the fuck up. Like that is the most ridiculous problem to have in the most ridiculous thing to complain about. I understand that.

It's ridiculous, but at the same time, it didn't feel ridiculous to me in the moment. In the moment, it felt big and it felt real, right? Anyway, so I wasn't feeling too cute. A lot of photos were taken of me blah, blah, blah. Fast forward to the next day. I'm looking through my tags on Instagram, like photos that people tagged me in. And I see this one photo that was getting reposted over and over and over and over and over again, where I looked really bad.

I was caught off guard in this photo. I was not sitting with good posture in this photo. My eyes were half closed in this photo. And for whatever reason, this photo was being reposted quite a lot. And it was in my tags a lot of times. As I was scrolling through my tag photos, it just seemed that this photo would not leave me alone. Like it was posted probably 50 times. Again, not that big of a deal. In retrospect, that's not

that big of a deal. Okay, it's an unflattering photo. Get over it. Who cares? I can see that now in retrospect. In the moment again, it did not feel small to me. It felt like a big deal. And after staring at this photo for probably five minutes, I had a little freak out. I had a freak out. And if I'm gonna be completely honest with you on what was running through

my head, which is a little bit scary for me to do, but if I'm going to be honest, what I was feeling was, how is it possible that there are some people who just never have a bad photo? Like there are some people on the internet where I see photos of them all day long in my explore page, on their Instagram, in articles, online, all this stuff. How do they never have a bad photo? How is that possible?

I see bad photos myself constantly and there's nothing I can do about it. You know, if somebody posts a photo of me, there's nothing I can do about it. How is it possible that some people have no bad photos of them out there? Like, how is it possible? It's not fair. And then I started looking at the photo a little bit deeper. And I was like, maybe it's because, now this is, this is where things are going to get a little bit crazy. So please bear with me. But I was looking at the photo and I was like, maybe it's because I've never had work done.

Like, plastic surgery, Botox, lip injections, veneers, et cetera. Maybe it's because I've never had work done. Maybe the reason why there are so many bad photos of me out there is because I don't have work done. Okay. I know it's a little bit ridiculous, but I will say I was kind of in

an irrational state of mine. I was definitely emotionally charged at this point because it was really emotionally challenging for me to go to this event while feeling insecure for one. That kind of beat me down. But for two, I was really jet lagged because I was traveling and I was really tired and grumpy as it was. Those two things combined put me in a very fragile state of mind. And so I was immediately going to the worst, right? I was immediately going to the extremes. And so I was immediately going to the worst, right? I was immediately going to the extremes. And so I started genuinely thinking

about plastic surgery and like Botox and filler and all this stuff. I started to really think about it for myself, but I very quickly ran into a moral dilemma. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about today. I really started to think about plastic surgery as a whole, the good elements of it, the bad elements of it, and everything in between. And once I started to calm down from my freak out, I was able to sort of look at myself in third person and analyze why I, in a vulnerable state of insecurity,

immediately started to think about just changing my body and face instead of trying to accept what is already there. Like, why did my brain immediately start thinking about getting surgery done or getting work done? Instead of trying to figure out a way to accept my physical body for what it is, at what point in society, I hate saying the word society. For some reason, it sounds so like cliche, but whatever. At what point did we all change our mindset to, I need to learn to accept myself for who I am?

Two, I don't need to accept myself for who I am because I can just fix the stuff that I don't really like. And then I can accept myself once those things have been changed. When did that shift happen? I don't know. It must have been within the past, I don't know what, 10 to 50 years, I'm not really sure. But this is kind of a new thing, right?

Where if we're feeling insecure, we don't have to learn to accept the things that make us feel insecure. Instead, we can just literally go and change them. Now, not everybody can do that. It's an expensive thing to do. It's not something that everybody has access to. I'm fully aware of that. But it's becoming more and more accessible and more and more common. And today, I just want to talk about whether or not that's a good thing. Because if I'm being completely honest, I'm not sure yet. I've never really thought that deeply about plastic surgery. And also, let me give a little footnote here. When I say plastic surgery, I don't necessarily mean,

should I say cosmetic work? What word should I use? Well, listen, when I say the word plastic surgery, I'm referring to all cosmetic procedures. I'm talking about actual plastic surgery, like getting new boobies or whatever. I'm also talking about stuff like getting a facelift or getting Botox or getting filler. When I say the phrase plastic surgery, I'm referring to just getting cosmetic work done. Getting work done that is non-practical

and that's fully aesthetic. It's fully just to enhance your appearance or change your appearance in a way that is unnecessary. It's not necessary for survival. Something that is like necessary for survival would be to get braces or to get a nose job because you broke your nose a few years ago and you wanna get your nose back to its original state.

That's like more functional plastic surgery. The plastic surgery I'm referring to today is stuff that serves no purpose beyond you looking different, okay? And in your eyes, hopefully looking better. I say hopefully because if you get worked on it and you'd feel like you look worse, that's really unfortunate. You know what I mean? It kind of defeats the whole purpose. Anyway, so let's just break this down. Let's just break this down. Let's take a step back and let's break this down.

I've done a lot of thinking over the past few weeks since my little meltdown. I've been thinking about the positive elements of plastic surgery and the negative elements of plastic surgery. And even though I've been thinking about this for two weeks, I still cannot figure out where I stand on the topic morally. Like morally, I cannot figure out what my thoughts are. But maybe through discussing it today with you guys, I can figure something out. I'm not sure yet.

Let's start out with the positive elements of getting work done. I think surgery and cosmetic enhancements aren't as negative if the person getting the procedure done is at a place where they're not relying on changing this physical feature for their happiness. It's rooted from a place of wanting to feel more confident in yourself, for yourself, and not for anyone else.

And it comes from a place of confidence. I think a scenario when getting work done can be a positive or a neutral thing is if somebody goes into getting work done, feeling like, okay, listen, this is something about me that I'm just not a fan of. I'd like to tweak it a little bit. Maybe it's their nose. Somebody says, you know, I've always not really liked my nose. It's just, it's something that I've learned to accept, but that I also would like to change. Surgery

is available in a way that it's never been available before. And if there's something about yourself that you're not obsessed with and you have the resources to go and change it, it's like, why not, I guess, right? I think the key is to come to a place where you do accept yourself for who you are. You accept yourself for who you are with all of the features that you have as is. If you can reach that place, then I think any cosmetic procedures that you get done following

that point are not a negative thing because you're coming from a place where you actually feel secure with yourself. You're just getting work done to enhance or to slightly alter things on yourself that you feel could use a little bit of work. But if you're coming from a place of self-acceptance when you do do these things, then you're less likely to make the mistakes that I'm going to mention later that come with the negative sides of getting worked on. You're going to approach getting worked on in a more rational way, in a more level headed way. And I think it can actually be a positive thing. level headed way. And I think it can actually be a positive thing. I've read stories online of people who have gotten a nose job, gotten a boob job, gotten Botox, gotten lip filler. I've read articles online of people who said, listen, I loved myself before I got this

work done. I felt a good sense of self acceptance before I got work done, but that didn't mean I was fully satisfied with my appearance. I wasn't, and there was a few things that I felt the desire to change, and once I did, I just enjoyed my appearance a little bit more. There's been no negative side effects to it. I just enjoyed my appearance a little bit more. Myself acceptance and self-love stayed the same because my physical appearance has nothing to do with that.

And overall, it was a really positive experience. I've read so many articles like that that were like, listen, I was at a place where I felt good with myself. And so getting a little bit of work done just made me feel a little bit more confident in my physical being. Period. That was it. And I don't think that that's necessarily a negative thing.

You know what I mean? It's so complicated. It's so confusing for me because on one hand, I want to say you should learn to accept yourself for exactly how you are. But also, we're human and we're really, really critical of ourselves. And a lot of us are hyper aware of our own appearance. And so if there's something that appearance. And so if there's something that sticks out and bugs us, and we have the resources to alter it in a way that will make us feel a little bit more confident, is that a bad thing? Like, I don't know. Should we be forced to learn to accept ourselves for exactly the way that we were born? Or is it okay to

want to do a little bit of tweaking here and there? You know what I mean? Is it okay to want to change a few things? I don't know. I should also mention that cosmetic procedures can only be a positive thing if proper research has been done. And proper thought has been done. It's never something that should be done impulsively. It's never something that should be done when you are in an irrational state of mind. It's a big decision. And I think that cosmetic surgery can only be a positive thing

if it's been fully thought out, fully fleshed out. You've looked into the procedure, you've looked into theed out. You've looked into the procedure, you've looked into the side effects, you've looked into the potential, things that could go wrong. You look into how much money it's going to cost to keep it up, right? Because most procedures you have to continue

to touch them up, going forward, like with Botox, you need to get Botox, I don't know, every few weeks or a few months, I'm not sure. With lip filler, youox, you need to get Botox. I don't know every few weeks or a few months, I'm not sure. With lip filler, you know, you need to go back and get that filled every few weeks or months with a facelift, you might have to get another facelift in a few years with a boob job. You might need to go and get the boobs fixed up in about 10 years. You know, it's like knowing all of that stuff. And also, truly asking yourself, am I doing this to make myself happier? A part of fleshing out this decision is also having

a conversation with yourself. If you can remind yourself that you might not find happiness and you probably won't find happiness through a cosmetic procedure. And if you can be honest with yourself and say, self acceptance and self love comes from a much deeper place than changing something I don't like about myself. If you can accept those things and you can say, listen, I know I'm probably not gonna find happiness in self-acceptance through this procedure. I might find a little bit of confidence in my physical appearance, but happiness in self-acceptance

are much deeper. I'm probably not gonna find those things. If you can be honest with yourself about that and you can say, I already have found those things. I already found happiness and self-acceptance. I don't need it from this cosmetic procedure. If you can say that, then I think you're in a good spot.

Or if you can say, I'm not at a place with my happiness or self-acceptance that I'm stoked about. Like, I still have some work to do there, but I know that this cosmetic procedure is not going to get me to a good place with those things. I know that this is not gonna help. I know that this is something that's completely disconnected from my happiness and self-acceptance

and the work that needs to be done on my happiness and self-accept is going to need to happen outside of this cosmetic procedure. If you can kind of confirm that with yourself, then I think you're also in a good place. You know, I think you're in a rational place. And I think that you're going to be better off if you do decide to get one of these procedures done.

So that was kind of a brain dump of my thoughts, but I think to kind of sum up how and when it can be positive to get cosmetic surgery done, it really comes down to having done proper research, having done proper self-reflection, confirming that it's rooted in wanting to feel a little bit more confident in oneself for themselves, not for anyone else, not for Instagram, not for fuck all that, for you, for when you look in the mirror, when the person getting the procedure done is aware that it might not give them happiness and it might not help with their self acceptance. That's a completely separate thing.

It might help with confidence, but it's not gonna help with those other two things. Being aware of that, and last but not least, I think the mindset when going into cosmetic surgery should be, I wanna enhance the features that I have, rather than I wanna completely change myself, I wanna to enhance the features that I have, rather than I want to completely change myself, I want to turn myself into somebody else, you know, which that's something

we're going to talk about right now, which is there are also some very negative elements to getting worked on. I would argue there are a lot more negative elements to getting cosmetic procedures. I think the first scenario where it can be negative is if you want to get cosmetic surgery in order to look like someone else. That's not good because that starts tapping into the issue of you wanting to run away from your own identity. If you want to look like somebody else, like let's say you bring in a photo of a celebrity and you're like, turn me into this person. That's not good because it's so magical that we're all so different. And the second that we all start bringing in the same reference images to plastic

surgeons saying, I want to look like this, that's when things start to get a little bit sticky, right? Because now we have a lot of people who look really similar. And that's not a good thing because that removes our individuality. And I think it actually has a reverse effect because it's so cool and beautiful how different everybody is. How there are so many people on this planet yet everybody looks different. It's very cool that no two people look exactly the same, even identical twins don't look exactly the same. And I think going in and getting a procedure done to try to look like somebody else

that I can't get behind, because that's removing the unique qualities that you have. And I think that that's a the unique qualities that you have. And I think that that's a deeper rooted issue. Bouncing off of that, a less extreme, but still possibly problematic reasoning for getting cosmetic work is because somebody feels like they need to fit in. Now, I think that this is kind of a double-edged sword

because on one hand, I understand it in. Now, I think that this is kind of a double-edged sword because on one hand, I understand it actually. I understand possibly getting cosmetic surgery to fit in. Let's say there's a feature about you that's a little bit more unique, maybe less common. And maybe it's something that sparks up conversation more than you wish it would, like some people comment on this one feature that you have. And it makes you stand out in a group because it's a little bit unusual. It's not as common, right? There's nothing wrong with that at all.

There's nothing wrong with having that feature. If anything, that makes you even more unique, which is a great thing. But if it's something that is having a negative impact on your life, because it's not allowing you to fit in, then yeah, I mean, I can understand wanting to change that. But when I'm talking about people wanting to fit in in a negative way, I'm more talking about people getting surgery to fit I'm more talking about people getting surgery to fit a mold, right? Like so, for example, in Los Angeles, maybe there are a lot of girls who have their lips done, I would say. So have like more full lips, right?

Probably have Botox. Maybe have gotten some work on their body a little bit. OK, so there's like, you know, that's pretty common in LA. I think there's a lot of people in LA who have gotten cosmetic work done, right? So let's say you want to be friends with this group of girls, and they all have their lips done, and they all have blah blah blah

other procedures, right? These girls have never really shown interest in being friends with you. And so you think, well, maybe if I got the same procedures done that they did, they'll want to be my friend. And that's what I mean by wanting to fit in in a negative way. You want to match and emulate what other people have done so that they will accept you. That's negative because number one, you're not doing it for yourself.

And number two, if those people don't accept you the exact way that you are now, then they're not for you. If somebody suddenly is interested in you in a friendship way or in a romantic relationship way, all of a sudden is interested in you after you've gotten worked on, they're probably not a good person for you. Their morals might be in the wrong place. I think cosmetic procedures can also be negative if not enough research and self-reflection has occurred. You know, if you haven't checked in with yourself and asked, why am I really doing this?

Is this an impulsive decision? Is this something that I'm going to regret? Is this something that I have enough knowledge about? Do I know the potential side effects? Do I know how often I'm going to need to get this touched up? Do I have the resources to get this touched up for the next 50 years of my life? Is this something that I can remove?

If I want to remove it, is this something that I can dissolve? If I want to dissolve it in reference to filler and Botox and stuff like that? Like, can I get that removed if I want to? If I get boob in plants, can I get those removed if I want to? If I get a BBL, if that, I don't even want to explain that, if you don't know what that is, it's whatever. If I get a BBL, can I reverse the BBL? Like, et cetera, et cetera.

Are these things that I can reverse later if I want to? If I can't reverse them later, is that something that I want to commit to for my entire life? You know, it's these questions you need to ask. If there hasn't been proper self-reflection, if there hasn't been proper research, you could get yourself into a really sticky situation. This shit is serious, but it's so normalized now because so many people have gotten work done. It's so common that a lot of people think it's no biggie

and so then they don't do research and then they get themselves into a sticky situation. Luckily, a lot of it is reversible, but some of it is not. And it's not good to do anything serious like that without proper research. I think it can also be a negative thing if it becomes in obsession or in addiction. I have heard stories and read articles about people, especially people in the public eye, who have become obsessed and addicted to getting cosmetic work done. I mean, I think a very famous example would be Michael Jackson, who continued to get work

done throughout his life. And it's really sad because he didn't need to do it. He didn't need to, right? He didn't need to do anything that he did, right? But he never felt satisfied. And that's why he kept going. And it got so extreme. And I mean, I think there were probably some other psychological issues that added to that.

I don't exactly remember what was going on deeper there, but I do know that, you know, it became an obsession for him and he just kept going and going and going and going and going and he never felt happy, he never felt satisfied. And that's why he kept going back because I think when you go into getting cosmetic surgery with the expectation that it's going to bring you happiness and it's going to bring you self-acceptance and it's going to make you love yourself. If you go into it with that mindset, then when you come out the other side and you find that it has not changed your happiness, it's not changed your level of self-acceptance.

Then you feel like, well, I guess it's because I didn't do enough. I need to go back and do more. And I think that that's an issue that a lot of people run into is that they end up overdoing it, right? They end up getting too much done to a point where they don't even look human anymore because they never felt satisfied. They never got what they wanted emotionally

out of the cosmetic surgery or the cosmetic work and so then they just kept going back for more. Another thing is that body dysmorphia is a very common thing that a lot of people experience. I personally experience it. I've experienced it my whole life. It's very, very difficult to manage, because, okay, well, I'll look up the definition,

so I'm reading a scientific definition. Okay, body dysmorphic disorder is a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. The flaw may be minor or imagined, but the person may spend hours a day trying to fix it. The person may try cosmetic procedures or exercise to excess. People with this disorder may frequently examine their appearance in a mirror, constantly compare their appearance with that of others,

and avoid social situations or photos. Okay, so that's body dysmorphia. I've struggled with this. And when I look at people who have clearly gotten more work done cosmetically than they need or then is helpful, I almost see myself in that sense because I don't know what I look like.

I really don't because I don't know. I just don't. I look different every time I look like. You know, I really don't because I, I don't know, I just don't, I look different every time I look in the mirror. Sometimes I look in the mirror and all I can see is flaws, specifically like one flaw, usually at a time. All I can see is that one flaw. It's like a hyper focused on this one flaw, right? At a time, I always have like, it's usually like one thing that's sticking out.

And sometimes it kind of goes away for a little bit. And I just look in the mirror and I'm like, yeah, I feel fine today. But sometimes I go through phases of obsessing over different flaws. And I mean, I don't, it's so common. We all have that, right? To a certain extent. But when I see people who have gotten extreme amounts of cosmetic surgery done, and it's very obvious, I see myself in them because I understand that they don't know what they look like. I think there's an element of dysmorphia. You're so prone to becoming addicted to cosmetic surgery. And I know that I struggle with body dysmorphia, which is a reason why I kind of don't want to get work done. Because I know that I am the type of person that might take it too far because I have the

tendency to become obsessive about my appearance. So I know that and that's the reason why I've avoided it for so long. And I look at people who get ridiculed on the internet because they've gotten too much work done. And I think, think no I understand it's because they literally don't know what they look like their vision their view of themselves in the mirror is not accurate so when they look at themselves they're not seeing what we see and I know that because I don't know what I look like for fuck's sake I don't I. I mean, I feel like I might have fleeting moments where I do, but like, the way that every time I look

in the mirror, I look a little bit different. I look different. It's like I'm noticing something differently. I'm seeing myself in a different way. It's so different every time in a way that I don't think is necessarily normal, right? I can see why there's a struggle there, and there's an obsession there,

and there's an addiction there. And I don't want to risk myself losing control in that area. I think another negative element of this whole thing is the potential for guilt. I know a lot of people, especially people in the public eye, feel guilty for getting cosmetic procedures done. And I think usually the guilt comes later.

It's guilt about number one, adding to the sort of negative beauty standards, toxic, if you will, beauty standards that we experience in society today. I think guilt can come from adding to that. I think guilt can come from changing features that your parents and the universe and your ancestors gave you, changing those things can make you feel guilty in a way, because you might feel like you disrespected your family in some way, which I don't think that's necessarily true. And I don't think that's necessarily

a necessary reason to feel guilt. But people feel guilt about that. I think the potential for guilt is something that should be considered, because in the moment it might feel like a good idea, but after, you know, you've gotten worked on a lot of times, you can't get it reversed. And so, you know, you've permanently deleted an element of your genetics, right? Not really, because you can still pass on genes. You're still passing on the genes

of your ancestors and family, of course, but you've permanently deleted on yourself a gene that you inherited from your family. And I think that that especially comes with things like a nose job or a facelift or getting different areas of your face, different pads of fat removed in your face or changing, you know, the structure of your mouth, eyes, whatever it may be, right? Ears even.

A lot of that can be permanent and non-reversible. So there might be guilt later where you're like, God, I should have just accepted what I had because now when I have children, they're gonna be born with a completely different nose, ears, eyes, mouth, than me. And that's gonna be weird for them possibly, right? There's so many I can understand that guilt as well. That's huge. I think that that's something that maybe isn't talked about enough. The guilt and the regret

potentially. The last negative element of cosmetic surgery as a whole comes down to our society as a whole. Now, it's a little bit complicated. Our society looks to celebrities for inspiration. A lot of times. I mean, I do, even. Everybody, it's a very common thing, right? Whether it's clothing, home decor, like whatever the fuck we look to all of these things for inspiration.

And I think we're at a point now where I would argue probably 90% of celebrities have cosmetic surgery done, which is completely fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I actually understand it because when you're in the public eye, people are ready to call you ugly, no matter what. I mean, being in the public eye for me personally has made my self-image worse because I'm constantly being perceived by a lot of people

whether I like it or not, and that's something that I accept. I'm fine with it, like, whatever, it is what it is, and it's worth it because there are so many elements of being in the public eye that I'm so grateful for and that I appreciate and that are priceless. And so, if it means that my physical appearance has to be lumped into that, then so be it. You know what I mean? I can handle it, whatever. But it's not to say that it isn't really difficult for me at times because I've had people call me ugly on the internet.

Of course I have hundreds of times. I've also had people be like, oh my God, you look beautiful right now. I've had both, I've had everything in between. And as much as I think people in the public eye wanna say that when someone calls them ugly, it doesn't bug them, I don't care who you are, it bugs you. It bugs you. It bugs you.

And when you're getting berated by comments about how you look at all times, it makes sense that people in the public eye feel very, very, very obsessive about their appearance and wanna change a few things. Because it's not normal to hear commentary about your appearance as often as public figures do. So on one hand, I understand that a lot of celebrities want to get some work done so that they don't have to read as many comments about their different,

I say imperfections not from my mouth, but from their mouth, if that makes sense. I don't think, I don't really think the word imperfections is a useful or positive word because I just think it's like, I don't know, maybe it's a good word, I don't know. More all the story is, it makes sense why celebrities, majority of celebrities have had some sort of cosmetic work done because more than anyone else, they get reminded of their imperfections, if you will, more often than other people. Okay, makes sense, right? So like,

okay, then what's the issue? Well, here's where I think the issue comes in. I don't think that there's an issue with people getting worked on. I really don't. I think as long as it's coming from the right place and enough research has been done and enough self-reflection has been done, I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily. I really don't. But in regards to celebrities specifically, there's an added responsibility that people who are not in the public eye don't have because you're putting yourself out there and naturally people are looking up to you. So there's this added responsibility when you get cosmetic procedures done.

For somebody who's not in the public eye, it's easy. It's like, all right, I did this. I don't need to tell anyone in my personal life. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It doesn't really matter. It's your business. But with celebrities, it's a little bit more complicated because they are setting the tone of beauty standards, et cetera, et cetera.

On one hand, I feel like celebrities, although they put their lives out there, celebrities don't necessarily owe anything to anyone. I mean, that's the truth of it, right? On one hand, I feel like that. And I know that we can feel like we're owed explanations from celebrities, but we're really not. We're not. They're individuals, they're humans, and they can share whatever they want with us

as a perceiver of them. They can share whatever they want. They don't want to talk about something they don't have to. They don't have to do anything. In fact, we don't have to talk about anything that we don't want to talk about something they don't have to. They don't have to do anything. In fact, we don't have to talk about anything that we don't want to talk about. That's up to us, you know, as an individual. And celebrities are not exempt from that. As much as, you know, it might be helpful for them to share personal elements of their life as much as it might give us context. They still don't owe it to us. So that's something that is something to think about.

But on the other hand, what I don't think is okay is lying. I think where celebrities go wrong is when they lie. If a celebrity doesn't want to talk about the work that they've done, that's fine. They don't have to. Nobody has to talk about anything that they don't want to talk about, especially celebrities. Celebrities have this sort of privilege that they don't have to talk about anything that they don't want to talk about. Point blank. So, if a celebrity doesn't want to talk about the surgery that they've had done, then they should just not talk about it at all. Never bring it up. If somebody asks them about it,

they say, you know, I don't really want to talk about that. That's something I just want to keep personal. Boom. That's fine. That's fine. And then it's left up to the speculation of us as the people who perceive celebrities to guess, do we think they got work done? Do we not know? We don't know.

We don't know. And guess what? We don't have to know. We're not owed that knowledge. When it gets bad is when celebrities lie. When celebrities lie about the fact that they have gotten worked on. They say, no, no, no, I was born this way. No.

Don't say you were born this way if you simply were not. If you don't want people to know whether or not you have gotten work done, then do not address it. That's the issue. The issue is lying. The issue is not admitting it is lying when it comes to celebrity culture because so many celebrities lie. because so many celebrities lie allegedly. And listen, I understand, I understand, I'm not like gonna shit on these people because it would be really difficult to be in the public eye and be under all the scrutiny

and to want to get cosmetic surgery done, but also feeling like you just wanna do it without anyone knowing, but yet that's not possible. It's tough. It's tough. And even though it's a fucking first world problem to the max and it's a ridiculous thing to complain about, everything is relative and people's struggles are all relative to

their own life. So even though something might seem completely ridiculous and stupid to the person, it might feel like a big deal and it might be a struggle. And so I can see the desire to wanna lie, but you cannot lie in life. Lying only leads you to bad places. So my conclusion is, if we're all getting work done here, if we're all getting stuff done,

we all just need to accept that we're doing it and admit it and be honest, especially with celebrities when it gets toxic is when you're lying. Either don't talk about it or put it all out on the table for celebrities that people look up to. It is harmful for them to lie. Would it be harmful if they said, I don't feel comfortable talking about that?

No. Because in that case, it's not setting an expectation, right? It's just saying, that's not a topic I want to talk about. And it leaves it up to the imagination. But when you definitively say, no, I have not gotten work done when actually you have, then the people perceiving you from home are like, God, you know, I got messed up with some bad genes. When in reality, that's not true. You know, sense of peace that you can find in knowing that somebody that you perceive as the most beautiful in the world has maybe enhanced their appearance a little bit. In chances are, that's the case, especially when it comes to celebrities. I think it's actually is really comforting to know that celebrities aren't born perfect either. Almost no one. Maybe 0.001 percent of the population is born

fitting the beauty standard. And most celebrities have enhanced things, have changed things a little bit in order to fit the beauty standard. And I think that when we know that and when we remind ourselves of that, it's not a negative thing. It's something that just gives us context so that we aren't looking in the mirror like, well, why wasn't I born like that? It's because nobody was. And that's okay. It's okay that they decided that they wanted to get that cosmetic work done because at the end of the day, it's up to them. It's their life.

But knowing that is just so helpful for our own expectations of our own physical being. Okay. Now, these are all things that I've been thinking about. But now let's discuss me on a personal level. My own personal dilemma with plastic surgery. Now, this has nothing to do with anyone else. This has nothing to do with anyone else.

This only applies to me in my own moral code. Now, my own moral code only applies to me in my own moral code. Now, my own moral code only applies to what I do and what my behavior is. It doesn't apply to anyone else. I don't care what anyone else does. To be completely honest, people can do whatever they want. They can do whatever they want to their body. They can make mistakes.

They can say whatever they want. I don't care, right? I don't care about what other people do. It's about how I respond and it's about what I do. That's all I can control. So that's what I focus on and that's what I put my energy towards. So when it comes to making this decision

about my own moral standing on plastic surgery, it has nothing to do with anyone else. And it only applies to me. I do not care what anyone else does. And let me tell you, that's a really nice feeling. It took a long time to get there, but not caring about what other people do and just only focusing on what I can do

and how I respond to what people do. God, it is a good thing to practice because it is very healthy for me in my brain. But anyway, here's my own personal plastic surgery dilemma. So the first thing is that plastic surgery promotes a beauty standard that requires cosmetic surgery to achieve. I would say that our beauty standard that we're experiencing right now in society is not something that occurs in nature, okay? The beauty standard right now emphasizes enhanced features

and it's very rare for somebody to have all the features that fit in the beauty standard. It's basically an impossible beauty standard. Now, I don't like, I fuck beauty standards. It's fucking annoying. It's gross. It's toxic. It's negative. It's unnecessary. It is ridiculous. But at the same time, it's there. We can hate it all we want, but it's there. And I think by getting cosmetic procedures done to myself, I worry that I'm adding to the promotion of the impossible beauty standard that we're experiencing right now.

And that's something that I personally don't want to do. You know, on one hand, there are a few things about myself that I would love to change. And I honestly feel like I'm in a place where, you know, I accept myself enough as is. I mean, listen, I have my struggles, I have my insecurities, I struggle with my view of myself on a deep level. But at the same time, I feel like I am aware of the fact

that getting cosmetic work done won't make me happier. I know that. I know that for a fact. I also know it won't make me accept myself more. Literally, the only reason why I would wanna do it is just because I just think I might look a little better, like whatever in my own eyes. But is that me participating in a really, really negative

element of today's beauty standards? Is that me falling victim to beauty standards? Like is that me falling victim to it? I don't know. I don't really know. I do know for sure that I just have a really hard time with the idea that by getting cosmetic surgery and by also being in the public eye that I might add to the promotion of the impossible beauty standard that we're living in that I that I hate so much

It's really, it's tough. But I also feel the fear of anger and rejection from the people of my life and people on the internet. Like if I were to get a little Botox in my forehead or get a little lip injection or, you know, whatever it may be, if I were to do that, I worry that number one, you know, my family would be angry at me. Number two, my friends would reject me, you know, and be like, what the fuck, dude?

Like, why? Like, why would you do that, you know, and be like, what the fuck, dude? Like, why? Like, why would you do that, you know? And other people I love in my life would be like, you didn't need to do that, so why did you do that? Like, that's weird, you know what I mean? Like, that's unnecessary, that's weird. Like, I worry that people would look at me differently. If I were to get some sort of cosmetic work done,

I worry that people would look at me differently if I were to get some sort of cosmetic work done. I worry that people would look at me differently in my personal life and outside of that. And to a certain extent, I could kind of understand it. You know, it almost shows a level of vulnerability in a person when they get work done and are honest about it. It shows a level of vulnerability to talk about it because it's openly admitting that you were not satisfied with something that you were born with and you decided to change it. That is vulnerable. And showing vulnerability can sometimes be endearing and can sometimes make people look

at you differently, unfortunately. so I don't know. I also fear that I'm going to regret it or that I would regret it, that maybe I would get my lips done, right? Let's say I got lip injections and in a year, I'm like, I don't like this anymore, I don't like the way that this looks, and I maybe get the filler in my lips dissolved.

I get it removed. But my lips never quite looked the same. I would regret that forever, you know, because I'd be like, wow, I permanently fucked up my lips. And my lips, you know, I didn't even hate them before. They're fully functioning normal fucking lips. You know what I'm saying? Same thing with Botox.

Let's say I were to go and start getting Botox now. What if at some point, you know, I get so much Botox that then's say I were to go and start getting Botox. Now, what if at some point, you know, I get so much Botox that then my face stops moving and then it has permanently messed up the muscles and the nerves in my face. And then, you know, it's like, there's so many things that could go wrong, right? That's another reason why I fear I will regret it. And then I could never return to my natural state. Oh, I don't know. I don't know where I stand on it. On a personal level, I think there's a lot of thinking that needs to be done for me. I don't really know how I feel about it. And when it comes to what you do, the only person that can decide whether

or not it's a good idea, it's the right idea is you because everybody's situation is so different. Everybody's so different. Everybody's scenario where surgery might make sense is so different and I think that you know in life the way to finding the most peace that you can find is to do things for yourself and to only focus on your own behavior when it comes to these moral dilemmas, right? When it comes to plastic surgery, when it comes to, I don't know, anything in that world, you know, when it comes to what somebody does to themselves, to their body, I think it's best to let that be their business. How somebody does their makeup,

what kind of clothes they wear, whether or not they get plastic surgery, how they decide to design their house, where they decide to live, but all those things only affect the person who is doing them. And because of that, it's kind of none of your business. So leave everyone

else alone, let them do what they want to do. And you do what you want to do. And if that means getting a bunch of cosmetic procedures done, great. If it means not doing any, great. If it means getting a few little things done here and there, great. And if you're in the public eye, either not talking about it or telling everybody about it. All right. That's all she wrote. Long episode today, long episode, because I really, really can't stop thinking about this topic. And one day I might get work done. I can almost guarantee you guys. By the time that I'm like 30, I will be getting Botox. Sorry.

I will say that I don't care. At some point, I will be getting Botox. I'm sorry, I will say that, I don't care. At some point, I might get, I don't know, what else would I do? I don't know, like at some point, like, you know, let's say, as I get older, my lips start to sort of lose their volume. I might get lip injections, like, I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I might do nothing. I might just know what I'm gonna do. I might do nothing. I might just come to a point where I accept that, you know, the aging body of a human being is a beautiful thing and there's no need to cover it up. I might get to that point. I might even decide to get cosmetic work done within the next five years. I don't know.

I don't know. I know right now I'm not. I need to do more thinking because I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I know right now I'm not. I need to do more thinking because I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. I haven't fully come to a conclusion yet. But I don't know. I'm not going to promise that I'll never do it. Up until this point, I've never done it, which is actually crazy because I don't know how I've lived in LA this long where cosmetic surgery is very common.

I don't know how I've lived in LA, this long where cosmetic surgery is very common. I don't know how I've lived in this area for this long and never done it. I thought about it. Oh my God, have I thought about it? I've never done it. Not saying that that makes me like any kind of like magician over here, it doesn't.

It doesn't at all. But it's just interesting. I don't know how I've never, I don't know, it's just never happened for whatever reason. But I will say this. If I ever do decide to get cosmetic work done, I don't know how I've never, I don't know, it's just never happened for whatever reason. But I will say this, if I ever do decide to get cosmetic work done, I will tell you that is a promise I'm making right now. If I ever decide to get any sort of work done, I will fucking tell you.

And that's something that I do know for sure. Anyway, that's all I got for today. Thank you guys for listening. I love taking topics like this and just like ripping them apart, brain dumping, discussing. It's so enjoyable for me. And I appreciate you guys listening. If you have anything you want to add to this conversation, tweet me at AG podcast or DM me on Instagram at anything goes. Leave a review on anything goes on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, subscribe to anything goes on all the platforms that you stream podcasts. I really appreciate it. I love you guys. Oh my god, I almost forgot. I appreciate it. I love you guys.

Oh my God, I almost forgot. If you are a coffee or a matcha drinker, and you like me, go to Chamberlaincoffee.com and pick out a few things and use code AG15 on the site. It's my coffee company. That code will give you 15% off. We have really delicious coffee, really delicious matcha, a bunch of coffee accessories.

Go check it out if you want. And that's all I got. Okay, I'll talk to you guys later. Love ya.