anything goes with emma chamberlain - post it or it didn't happen?

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

recently i went to the harry styles concert in los angeles and it was amazing. the concert was incredible...but something did happen at this concert that was interesting. i was sitting kind of far up, so i could see the whole arena and when harry first came on, everybody took their phone out and started filming him...but then the phones never went down. this wave of phones just up in the air never stopped...and i started getting a weird feeling in my tummy...like, 'wait, maybe this is weird/a bad sign?' so i tried not to think about it, but then two weeks ago, i went to an event and, the same thing happened...everyone was taking photos and videos of everything. and i was like, 'this is actually weird.' it's become so routine and so normal, but i don't think that it actually is. so that's what i want to talk about today: why we are so obsessed with taking photos of everything? and why i think maybe we should stop.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello! Oh my God, I'm hungover. I'm hungover today. Okay, I'm going to be honest. I am hungover. I went to an event last night. I'm feeling it today. I'm feeling it.

The funny thing is, I went to bed at 11.45. Like, that's not even that late. But I am in pain today. I am in pain. But the weird thing is, when I'm hungover and in pain from a night out, the only thing I want to do is record a podcast. It's so weird. I don't want to do anything else.

Nothing else sounds appealing to me. I don't want to go to the grocery store. I don't want to take a shower. I don't want to brush my teeth. I don't want to move more than two inches. Like, nothing sounds appealing to me except for recording a podcast. So this all worked out today. I'm really happy we could get together and do this today and just talk and just hang out.

I'm just thrilled. I'm thrilled. This is exactly what I want to be doing today. So let me tell you a story. Recently, about two weeks ago, I went to the Harry Styles concert in Los Angeles. It was amazing. Harry Styles is a force of nature. Harry Styles is a magician. He's incredible. The concert was incredible.

I sang my heart out. It was great. I mean, it was great. But something did happen at this concert that was interesting. So I was sitting kind of far up. So I could see the whole arena, the whole concert venue. I could see all of the other concert goers. I was kind of able to see everything, right? And when Harry first came on, everybody took their phone out, which is like normal, right? Everybody took their phone out and filmed him come out and, you know, filmed him starting the show. And I didn't really think anything of it because I was like, okay, like whatever, everybody's gonna post Harry coming out on stage on their IG story, like I get it. I didn't think twice about it. But then 15 minutes go by and I still just see this wave of phones up in the air. And I'm like, geez, people still have their phone out.

Like, it's been like 15 minutes, like it's still happening. And then like another 15 minutes go by and I'm like, geez, this wave of phones just up in the air has not stopped. And I started to get a weird feeling in my tummy where I was like, wait, maybe this is weird. Wait, maybe this is kind of a bad sign. And at the time, I was like, I'm not gonna think about this now. Like, I'm not gonna analyze this now,

because I'm enjoying Harry Styles singing my favorite song, Sadolite. I don't want to think about, you know, whether or not everybody filming everything all the time is the sign of the downfall of our society. Like, I don't want to think about that right now. I'm singing Sadolite our society. Like I don't want to think about that right now. I'm singing satellite by Harry Styles. I don't want to think about this.

I don't really think about this again. And then a few weeks go by and yesterday, or no, two days ago, I go to an event, not the event that I'm hungover from right now, but a different event. I go to this event and everyone is taking photos and videos of everything. Like, for example, it was someone's birthday and everybody was singing Happy Birthday to this person. Instead of everyone just singing Happy Birthday to this person and enjoying this moment of appreciation for this person, everyone's phone was out filming the person

whose birthday it was while they're singing Happy Birthday. And they're not even really looking at the person whose birthday it is. They're just looking at their phone filming the person. And I was like, this is actually weird. And you know, we've normalized it, I think. It's become so routine and so normal to see everyone film these big moments, concerts, birthdays, everyday life.

Like, it's become normal to capture every moment. It's become so normal that it didn't dawn on me how bizarre it was until recently. Like it's always been kind of bizarre to me. I was like, oh, this is weird. But I didn't really think twice about it. It was like, yeah, this is weird. It's probably not good, but also like, I don't really care.

But for whatever reason recently, it's actually started to bother me. And I think the reason why it started to bother me is because I'm no longer really participating in it. I used to be someone who was the same way as everyone else would take photos of everything, would take videos of everything. And I was a part of that pack. So although I thought it was kind of bizarre

that we were all doing it and something about it maybe felt a little bit weird, I didn't really care and I was also participating. So it just didn't hit me. But now that I don't have this desire to capture every single moment anymore, which we'll talk about later, I'm really aware of how weird this is.

And so today I wanted to talk about why we are so obsessed with taking photos of everything because it is a fascinating phenomenon. Like if you really think about it, if you just look at the concept of people taking photos and videos of everything objectively or subjectively, I don't, I don't know the difference between those two words Somebody please tweet me and let me know you'll realize that it is bizarre anyway Why do we feel the need to take photos and videos of everything? Here's what I think I think part of it has something to do with this fear of losing a memory, you know

we're afraid of a magical moment in our lives happening and us not having a permanent version of it in the form of a photo. I think that is part of it. This sort of compulsion to capture all meaningful moments out of this sort of uncomfortable fear that if we don't get it in photo version, video version, that it'll be gone forever, that our own memory in our head is not enough. The fear that our memory in our head is not enough and that we need this photo, we need

this video, we need this to be permanently frozen in time, in our phones, in photo video version, or else it's gone forever. I feel like we've sort of been programmed weirdly in a way to think about memories in that way. Nowadays, you know, I know personally I've felt pressure to capture important moments in my life on photo or on video because I was like, I need to remember this forever and I need the photo to help me do that. I need the video to help me do that. I think that's part of it, but I think that it's more than that now. I don't think that that's the core reason why people are snapping photos of every moment in taking videos of every moment. I don't think that that's the main reason.

I think the real cause of this weird behavior that we're all participating in is its social media. Woo-woo! There it is, w, there it is, wound there it is. It's social media, of course it is, because I love talking about social media. I don't know why, but I do. If you really think about it,

we're kind of building a second version of ourselves online, almost like an avatar, like a digital version of ourselves. We all joke about the metaverse and how it seems dumb. You know, if you don't know what the metaverse is, it's like this concept of like, I don't know, another world that only exists digitally that you can enter into and you have another life in there, You can enter into and you have another life in there, maybe by putting on a headset or something and, you know, being fully immersed in another reality that's digital. We joke about that being like crazy and not ever going to happen or whatever. But we're kind of already doing it by creating this specific version of ourselves online through what we post and how we edit those posts and what we're wearing or doing in those posts. We're creating this sort of ideal version of ourselves

that lives on the internet permanently, you know? I mean, you can delete your account and then it's over. But unless you delete it, it's permanently there, you know what I mean? And people can scroll back and look at who you were two years ago, what you were doing back then, they can look at you. Now, what are you doing? Now, but it's all hand- hand curated by you. So you're kind of creating this person that is a combination of you and who you really are and what you want people to think you are. Now I know this is old news, we know this.

But I think the reason why we're so obsessed with taking photos of videos of everything and posting those things on social media is because I think that subconsciously we all know that our identity online is not inconsequential. It's not like something, it doesn't, it's not like it doesn't matter. And it's not like nobody is judging us based on it.

The truth is is that the online version of ourselves are perceived the same amount if not even more than our physical being. And this begs the question, what is more real to other people, the online versions of ourselves or the real version of ourselves? Like when people think of us, do they think of the us that they know in person or the

us that they see online? Or is it a combination of both? I would say it's a combination of both, but depending on how much you see each other, it might be more the online version of you. Like you might be known for the online version of yourself more than the physical version of yourself. So when someone thinks of you, they think of what you're doing on Instagram.

They're thinking of the version of you that's on Instagram and on TikTok and on blah, blah, blah, YouTube, wherever. That's the version of you that they have in their mind combined with the version of you that they know in person. But there aren't many people that you see every day. There aren't many people that you talk to every day. But there are a lot of people that see you on social media every day. If you're posting on a frequent basis. And so my point of this is whether we know it or not, whether we're conscious of it or not, we all know in some way how powerful our online identity is and how it's not just like a fun

little hobby to post on social media. No, this affects the way that we're perceived by others. This is not inconsequential. And so we need to curate this image to the best of our ability for our own personal gain. Like, we all know that this has become something very powerful. And I think that that's why we feel so much pressure to capture everything is because we want everyone to know

online that we're doing shit. We're at the Harry Styles concert. We're at lunch at a park in New York City. We're at a cute cafe in Los Angeles. We're wearing a cute outfit in Paris. We're eating a croissant in a cafe in Paris. Like, we want people to know when we do these things that are exciting and fun and beautiful and ideal because

they build our online identity and make us look interesting and busy and successful and productive. There's two things going on. Number one, there's people taking photos and videos of everything so that they have as much content as they can to portray themselves a certain way on social media. And then there's also this pressure to capture every single moment out of fear that if we don't capture it, we'll lose it. This is what's happening.

These are the two reasons I think for this behavior. Now, the next question I'm asking myself is this even a problem? Like, is this hurting anyone? Because if it's not, then it's not a problem. Well, I think it can be a problem. I think this can be a problem. I don't think it has to be, but I think it can be.

And I think it's hard to find balance enough for it not to be a problem. The obsession with getting photos and videos of everything really doesn't allow you to just enjoy a moment. And I know that that's a cliche and that's something that everybody says, but it's very true. And I know that because I've compared moments in my life

when I've just kept my phone down and just taken the pressure off myself and said, you know what, this is a memory I'm just going to keep for myself. I'm not going to post about it. I'm not even going to take a photo of it for my own memory. I'm just going to live in the moment and take the pressure off and not stress out about whether or not I'm going to remember this moment perfectly or if people are going to know about it.

I'm just going to sit here, phone in my bag and just exist. I've done that numerous times in my life, but I've also been concerned with capturing the moment, hundreds and hundreds of times. And what I've noticed is that there is a big difference. The truth is, when you're concerned about getting a photo of something or a video of something, you're focusing on getting the photo or video right too much to a point where you're not even thinking about where you are anymore. Like, for example, when I'm at a concert and I take my phone out and start filming, I'm not even thinking about the music anymore. I'm like, wait, are they in frame? Wait, am I, is my phone still recording?

Wait, you know what I mean? Or if it's someone's birthday and I'm trying to get the perfect video of them blowing out their candles? I don't even, I'm not even thinking about them blowing out their fucking candles or even the fact that it's their birthday. I'm thinking about how the video looks on my phone. Is the lighting okay? Should I like tap the exposure over here because it's like kind of bright or like whatever. And I'm thinking about that. I'm not thinking about

the moment at hand. And so yeah, I think taking photos and videos of everything can really ruin a moment. And that's not necessarily a good thing. But also, there are many moments that I've captured on my phone that I've been so happy to be able to look back at. And that's why this topic is so confusing to me, because I enjoy going back in my camera roll and looking at years and years of memories and part of me is happy that I've done that. So I am conflicted.

I would say another problem that comes with this whole situation is that what happens when you don't have anything to take a photo of, you don't have anything to take a video of nothing happening. What happens when there's nothing to capture? People can freak out about this. I've freaked out about this. Some of us feel like our lives are boring if we have nothing to post.

It's like our obsession with wanting to record and take photos of everything has not only made us obsessed with that, but it's also made us obsessed with always having that, like always having something to take photos of in record and post about or whatever. I remember when I was younger, I don't really feel like this is much anymore, but when I was younger, if like a week would go by and I didn't do anything memorable, necessarily, I didn't do anything cool or interesting. I didn't wear any cool outfits. I didn't go do any cute things with my friends. I didn't go to a concert or an event or any whatever. I would feel like my life was boring and I'd feel genuinely sad. I'd be like, oh my god, what's going on? Like nothing's going on. Like on. I would feel this pressure to make it seem like I'm doing things on social media when in reality I wasn't.

I can't even tell you how many times my friends and I have gotten dressed up just to go take pictures of us to make it look like we're out and about doing shit. When in reality, we literally got dressed up to go take photos in an outfit that we're only wearing for the photo that will be taken off five minutes later just so that we could have like a cool Instagram photo to post.

Now listen, do I think that in, do I think that that's fun? Actually yes. Like I've had fun doing that before. I'm not shitting on that activity completely. It is kind of ridiculous when you think about it, but at the same time, it also is a sort of art form in a way, like putting on a cool outfit,

taking cool photos with your friends. Like, it's not all bad, don't get, but also what was it rooted in? When I really think deeply about it, and I really look back, it was rooted in this pressure to look like I'm doing shit on social media. It was like I was creating something photo worthy because I didn't have anything in my life organically

that was photo worthy. And that's just interesting. Again, I don't know anything in my life organically that was photo worthy. And that's just interesting. Again, I don't know if it's bad, but it is a little weird that I would put on an outfit and just to go take a photo. And I'll still do it sometimes. Like, if I have a cool outfit that I'm really into, I'll be like, hey, I'm gonna wear this today

so I can take a pic in it. You know what I mean? Whatever. I guess when I look back, in the moment, when I was like putting on cute outfits and stuff to go take Instagram photos with my friends, I didn't really think I was participating in this sort of pressure and obsession to like make sure

it seems like I'm doing shit. You know, I think in my head I was like, no, this is just like me having fun, putting on an outfit, like this is not because we feel the pressure to constantly look like we're doing something on social media, like no, I think I was kind of in denial, a little bit, because now that I don't really do that anymore,

I realized that there was this insecurity looming in the back of my mind at all times, feeling like if I'm not constantly posting myself on social media doing things, then people will think I'm not doing posting myself on social media doing things, then people will think, I'm not doing shit. You know, and that's kind of embarrassing, whatever, whatever.

So, although I used to enjoy getting dressed up and taking photos with my friends, it still was kind of rooted in security and fear at the same time. So, that's an interesting problem. You know, this sort of pressure to have things, to take photos and videos of all the time or else you feel boring in the eyes of social media.

The unfortunate part about that is that being boring, if you will, you know, not doing crazy stuff, not getting into your coolest outfit every day for the whole week, you know, not leaving your house very much. All of that is normal and honestly incredible sometimes. Sometimes that's what you want. You just want to hibernate and live a simple life. Sometimes we just crave that. And I think that this pressure that we feel to constantly

be posting ourselves doing fun shit or cool shit doesn't allow us to enjoy those moments of relaxation and solitude and quiet. It makes us feel like those moments are almost embarrassing in a weird way. I also think that a lot of people without even realizing it make decisions and do things for the sake of posting it on social media. They're not doing it for themselves or because they really want to necessarily even,

but they're doing it for the photo. So, for example, I've gone to events before, like events where I didn't even really want to go to the event. Like, I wasn't really that excited about the event itself, but I was excited about the photo because I was like, I'm all dolled up, I'm in a cool outfit, I'm in a cool setting, I'm gonna get a cool photo while I'm here.

And that's the value in this event for me. I might meet a few cool people, maybe, but really why I'm going is because I'm gonna get a cool pic. Like I've fully felt that before. But a more sinister example would be someone doing charity work so that they can take a photo of themselves doing it so that they can post it on social media and look like a very charitable person.

But the truth is if they couldn't post it on social media, they wouldn't do it. That's not a good sign. If you're doing things and taking photos of you doing these things and you're posting it on social media and you wouldn't do the thing, unless you could post about it on social media, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Whether it's something small, like going to have a picnic in the park with your friends,

that's aesthetically pleasing and stuff. When deep down, you just want to postmate with your friends in your living room in a very non-instagramable way. That's really what you deep down want to do. But you plan this whole picnic in the park because it's an Instagram sort of thing and it'll look pretty on the internet and it'll be like aesthetically pleasing and whatever. Even though maybe you don't, you're allergic to grass and you don't even really want to do it, but you're like,

oh, but it'll be good for Instagram, whatever. Whether it's something like that or it's something much more extreme like doing charity work only so that you can take a photo or video of you doing it versus social media. I don't think it's a good thing to do things for just the sake of your online identity. Like I don't think that's a good thing. Here's the issue I have with all of this. Here's the confusing part of all of this for me. Sometimes this pressure we feel to post everything

and take photos of everything can be a harmless thing. For example, sometimes capturing a moment on photo or video can give you a photo or a video to look back on for the rest of your life. That's a beautiful memory. And you have this snapshot of that moment that will last forever that you can look back on forever that will bring you so many laughs and smiles. Sometimes the pressure Sometimes the pressure to make your life look interesting on Instagram can actually bring you to some amazing places and give you an activity to do with your friends. It might force you to do things that you wouldn't normally have the motivation to do. That are good because you want something to post about on Instagram. Like sometimes it can be neutral, it can be fine, it can be harmless, but sometimes it

can be really bad and even kind of sinister. You know, it's bad when you can't enjoy your downtime because you feel guilt about not having anything to post about. It can be bad when you don't get to live in the moment at all because you're so focused on capturing every moment. It can be bad when you start to become too obsessed with the online version of yourself and you become too obsessed with curating that perfectly to a point that becomes maybe obsessive or can bring you stress and anxiety and insecurity in some ways.

It can be even sinister if you're only doing things that are charitable or nice for others because you want to just post about it on Instagram. And you wouldn't do it out of the kindness of your own heart. Like that's not good. I mean, I guess doing positive things for the community is good, no matter what your intent is and why you did it. It's still helpful, it's not any less helpful, but it's just not morally good. You know, it's like, it's not morally good to do things out of a selfish intent,

especially when it's something like charity. That just is icky, it's icky. Is it still helping people? Sure, but it's still fucking icky, you know, that's something that needs to be looked at if that's why you're doing charitable things. So I don't know. I don't know if there is an answer to the question

is our obsession with capturing every moment and feeling the pressure to post every moment or every good moment, should I say. Is that good or bad? I don't know if there's an answer to that question. You know, I don't know if all of this is good or bad. I don't know if it's that simple. It's interesting because my own experience has been, My own experience has been personally I don't feel a pressure anymore to take photos of everything or videos of everything.

And I don't feel bad if I don't have anything cool to post all the time on my Instagram, I don't feel bad if I'm not doing anything interesting and I'm just in my fucking sweatshirt for seven days straight and my hair is dirty and I'm breaking out and I'm in my house and I'm doing chores and I'm just doing boring shit and like I I don't feel bad about that anymore. I'm over it and I didn't get to that place overnight and to be honest. I didn't even mean to get to that place. It happened on its own It happened because I felt fatigued by this pressure to take photos and videos of everything all the time. And you know, planning interesting things to do on my days off to make sure my social media remained interesting.

I was tired of sort of pushing myself to put on a cool outfit and go do something cool with my friends just because I wanted to take an Instagram photo, when what I really wanted to do was just relax that day. I used to kind of push myself to make myself interesting on social media. When now, I'm like, no, I'm interesting sometimes naturally. Sometimes there are weeks when I get all dolled up and dressed up in a cool outfit every day And I'm doing cool stuff and I'm going to concerts and I'm going to you know This and I'm going to that and it's just like and it happens naturally and I don't even need to like force it

And other times I just don't do anything and there's nothing to take a photo or video of you know, it just depends But I actually even taken it a step further. And now, even when I do interesting stuff, sometimes I don't film it or take a photo of it at all. Because I'm like, eh, I don't really need to share this. Like, for example, when I went to the Harry Styles concert, I didn't take a video of it or a photo of it, and I didn't post about it. Because I was like, well, there's a lot of content, you know, out there on the internet of Harry Styles singing in concert. So no one really needs to see my version of that. And nobody really cares that I'm here either. Like, I don't think anyone cares that I'm here.

So I'm just going to enjoy it, you know? And I didn't take any photos or videos. I just, I don't know. I just didn't feel like it, so I didn't. I challenge some of you to put your phone in your bag during a moment when you would normally take a photo or a video. Maybe you're at a concert, maybe you're having an aesthetically pleasing picnic in the park.

See how it feels to just put your phone away for the whole experience. And do this as an experiment to see if it's more enjoyable for you, if it's the same level of enjoyable for you, or if you're stressed out and upset that you didn't get to capture the moment. Like, test this in your life. How does this make you feel? If you feel happier, not capturing the moment, then there's a good chance that you've been taking your phone out

and capturing these moments because you felt pressured too by some sort of force, whether that's this pressure to capture every moment. So you never forget it, or it's this pressure to capture every moment so that you can post it on social media to curate your own digital identity, and by not taking a photo of it, you've set yourself sort of free from that pressure. You've eliminated it.

You didn't succumb to that pressure, and that's a good feeling. So if you're feeling good when you do this experiment, then that's probably what that means. If you feel neutral and you're like, well, nothing really changed, then that means that you probably have a healthy relationship with what you decide to take photos of

and what you decide to not take photos of. And you probably aren't a victim of this weird pressure that we put on ourselves to look interesting on social media and capture every moment. And so you might have nothing to worry about. You might already have this figured out. You might already have a healthy balance. And so you can just continue living life as is.

And if you feel stressed out in upset about not being able to capture the moment, you need to ask yourself, why? Is it because you're bummed that nobody's going to know that you were doing what you were doing? Because now you can't post about it. Does that upset you? Because if that upsets you, then that means that you might have an unhealthy relationship with your online persona. You might be too obsessed with curating that.

Two point words becoming almost too emotional for you, which is not good. You know, that's like, you're almost too dependent on that online persona and what people think of it. If you're deeply upset by not being able to post the activity that you're participating in, and if you're upset because you're like, I'm gonna forget this, like this is not gonna be, like I won't have access to this memory anymore because I won't have a concrete photo of it.

Wait a week and see if the memory that you have of that moment in your head fills you with joy or if you can't remember anything about it. Like, analyze how well you were able to remember it. And I think you'll be shocked to see that the memory that you have in your head of that moment is powerful, just like a photo. But it's powerful in a different way. Because a memory in a photo is interesting because

you can see it. You can physically see it. It is a real snapshot of that moment. But a memory in your head is special because when you close your eyes, you can actually be there almost. And our brains have an interesting way of processing memories where actually when we remember things We don't remember them exactly how they were because it's impossible to do that like our brains I don't think are capable that our memories are sort of a spark noted version of what happened our memories call out the key

points that were maybe the most memorable. And that's all you need, you know. You don't need to have every memory documented in photo. And there's something kind of magical about a memory that's just in your head because there's just something beautiful about it too, you know. There's something beautiful about that too. You know, there's something beautiful about that type of memory as well.

Not to say that there isn't something magical about a memory in a photo, there is. But not every memory you have needs to be documented in photo. And so I don't know, try this out, try this out in your life and see how it all makes you feel. And from there, you can become more aware of how this sort of societal pressure is affecting you.

Or not. It's interesting. I'm curious. Let me know what you think. You can tweet me at AG Podcast or send me a DM on Instagram and anything goes. And let me know what you think. Do you feel like this is an issue

or do you feel like it's fine? And it's like who cares? Yeah, I might not be as present, but at least I have a video to look back on or a photo to look back on so I don't care. Or do you think it just depends on the situation? Let me know. I'm so curious. Thank you guys so much for listening.

Per usual. I am hung over as we know. I really want to take a nap and eat something warm. Don't know what it is yet, but it's just like something warm and yummy. Like I just want something warm and yummy. Like a warm breakfast burrito or something like, wow, that would be delicious. Yeah, that's all I have for today. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. Also, super exciting announcement. You might have seen on the anything goes Instagram, but come 2023, anything goes and Spotify

are now in an exclusive partnership, which is insane to me. I am so excited and I've just been the biggest fan of Spotify forever and I've been listening to everything, literally everything, music, podcasts, everything on Spotify since I was like 14 years old. And it's just been my place that I go to listen to everything for as long as I can remember. And I'm just so excited to be partnering with them next year. It's going to give me the resources and tools to make anything goes even better. But don't worry, by the way, I'm still going to be recording

in episode every week from my bed that is, nothing will change there. That is not changing, but I'll be able to add more. It's not like the podcast what it is now is not going to change, but rather I'm going to be able to add even more. I'm going to be able to provide even more every week, not just one episode for my bed, but also some other ideas that I've had forever that I've always wanted to try, but just haven't had the resources to do necessarily. Thank all of you for listening every week and supporting this podcast, because

without you listening and hopefully enjoying it, I wouldn't have been able to make this partnership happen. So I'm so incredibly grateful for you and I truly just love doing this every week and I can't wait to do even more in the future. That's all I got today, you guys. I will talk to you next week. Okay, I love you. Bye. can't wait to do even more in the future. That's all I got today, you guys. I will talk to you next week. Okay, I love you, bye.