anything goes with emma chamberlain - [REVISIT] you are on your own journey, advice session

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

[HOLIDAY RERUN] if you're a long-time listener of anything goes, you might remember a little series i used to do called advice session, where i would ask you to submit current challenges and struggles... that you're dealing with, and i would take a few of them and give my advice. i think the reason why i stopped doing this series was because i had imposter syndrome about whether or not i had the credentials to give advice. however, i enjoy giving advice and so we're bringing it back. i have the best intentions and i want you to win in life! but still, take everything i say with a grain of salt.  if you’re struggling with something right now and want my advice, send me a dm on the anything goes instagram page https://www.instagram.com/anythinggoes/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Listen, I know what you're thinking. Okay, hey, haven't I seen this podcast episode title before? This sounds familiar. I feel like I'm already talked about this. Yes, okay, I did. This is a rerun episode. This came out probably months ago. But I'm on my holiday break right now.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Yeah, I'm resting. I'm recharging. I'm healing my inner child. I'm completing my winter arc. It's all happening right now. I'm taking a few weeks off, but just because the episode's a rerun doesn't mean it's not good. So give it a listen anyway. And don't worry, I'll be back on January 16th, 2025 for our regularly scheduled programming. Back to Thursdays and Sundays for another year.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Happy holidays. I love and appreciate all of you and I'm sending you all of my love and light. Now without further ado, enjoy this rerun episode. If you're a longtime listener of Anything Goes, you might remember a little series I used to do here on Anything Goes called Advice Session where I would ask you, the listener, to submit current challenges and struggles that you're dealing with. And I would take a few of them and give my advice.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I think the reason why I stopped doing this series was because I had imposter syndrome about whether or not I had the credentials to give advice. I don't. I still don't. Nothing has changed. I have absolutely no credentials now and I had absolutely no credentials then. However, I enjoy giving advice. I don't know why. Maybe it's some sort of maternal instinct inside of me that makes me excited about giving
Starting point is 00:01:44 advice, But I enjoy it and so we're bringing it back. Okay, we're bringing it back. I posted on the Instagram at anything goes, submit your current challenges. What's happening? What do you want advice on from me? And a lot of you responded and we got some great ones. Okay. And so today I'm going to be giving you my unprofessional advice based on my own life experience. Take it with a grain of salt, but also my intentions are good. Okay. My intentions are great. I want you to win in this life, but yeah, still take it with a grain of salt. This episode of Anything Goes is brought to you by Amazon. I will admit gift giving is not my love language. However,
Starting point is 00:02:29 there are many people in my life who do care about gifts. Gifts is their love language. And so when it comes to gift giving, I love a one-stop shop. And that's why Amazon is so phenomenal because it truly is a one-stop shop. I mean, you can really find everything all in one place. Whoever you're gifting for, there's something for them on Amazon. Shop Black Friday Week starting November 21st for deals on toys, fashion, home, beauty, and more at amazon.ca slash holiday shop.
Starting point is 00:03:02 This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's official. Summer has come to an end. I know it's a little painful, but it's also kind of exciting. I look forward to hibernation. The fall and winter is about relaxing, eating warm foods, enjoying yummy spices. It is awesome. As we prepare for the upcoming chili season, let me remind you that you can get almost anything you need for the upcoming season
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Starting point is 00:04:41 Shop the Level Up sales event today at canon.ca. Okay. Someone said, I'm 19 years old and I've never been in a relationship. I feel very behind and embarrassed. I completely relate to this because when I was 17, I moved to Los Angeles and I had never been in a relationship. Now in retrospect, I know I was a child. I was 17, fresh out of high school. It's completely normal to not have been in a relationship before. But moving to LA was really jarring because I was now placed in this environment where there were a lot of mature teenagers. I was hanging out with kids who were 19, 20, and all of them were light years ahead of me. They'd been living in LA since they were, some of them, like 15, 16, adults.
Starting point is 00:05:33 They felt like adults. Yeah, they're 19, 20-year-olds, but they felt like adults. Meanwhile, on this little 17-year-old, waltzing in, naive in every single category, a virgin, never had sex, barely kissed a boy, like literally did not, like yes, I had kissed some boys, but I didn't know what I was doing. Like I wasn't confident in my abilities. I was a complete fish out of water
Starting point is 00:05:57 and I felt so behind and so embarrassed. And I know some of you might be thinking, Emma, you were 17, like that is to be expected. But I moved into a culture that was very different. Like, what was normal in LA was to have already had three relationships and a whole lot of sex by 17. Meanwhile, I've done nothing. So I'm aware that that's sort of a unique scenario. But all this to say, I understand the feeling. I understand the feeling of being behind. And I think what that really stems from is comparison. If you're comparing your life to the norm
Starting point is 00:06:34 or the popular route around you, and you're a little different from that, you're gonna feel weird, you're gonna feel behind, you're gonna feel embarrassed. And I know that it feels too simple to say, hey, listen, comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing and you'll feel free. But that's sort of true. That's kind of where it starts.
Starting point is 00:06:56 It's so important to remember that your timeline is uniquely yours. And there's kind of no wrong way to do it when it comes to dating, relationships, sex, intimacy. I mean, in general, with all things, but to answer this question specifically, it is so your own journey. And other people's timelines have nothing to do with yours. Now, I would stop there, but I know that there's more to it.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Like, if it was that simple to be like, don't compare your life to other know that there's more to it. Like, if it was that simple to be like, don't compare your life to other people. Everybody's a little different. It's like, yeah, okay, thanks, thanks for that. Like, I could have figured that out. I think what's the most reassuring is that when it comes to sex and relationships and intimacy
Starting point is 00:07:39 and all these things, you would be shocked and you will be shocked at how quickly you catch up. Like, my first relationship was with somebody who was incredibly experienced, had had many relationships before me, had had a lot of sex before me, had done it all, okay? Had really, no, like actually done it all. Like, had more experiences than the average 30-year-old,
Starting point is 00:08:04 probably, just because of who they were and how, like, they just lived a lot of life. And I was so freaked out because I was the complete opposite. I had had no experience at all. And I have a crush on this person, and I'm like, oh, my God, like, I want to make this happen. But I don't know what to do. And they're so experienced,
Starting point is 00:08:24 and I'm completely inexperienced. What the fuck am I going happen, but I don't know what to do. And they're so experienced and I'm completely inexperienced. What the fuck am I gonna do? This person's not gonna be attracted to me because I actually have never done anything. It's gonna be so embarrassing. I'm gonna be shaking, I'm gonna be scared. And guess what? I was, okay?
Starting point is 00:08:38 I remember the first week that that relationship became intimate. I was in shambles. I was in shambles. I had no idea what to do. And you know what? This person was patient with me because they cared about me
Starting point is 00:08:50 and they didn't judge me, which I'm so grateful for. That's very nice of them. And by the end of the week, it was like, I knew what was up. There was no problem. I got caught up quick. Like, I think the key is communication.
Starting point is 00:09:04 And I think that that's why it wasn't weird for me was because I was like, listen, you're a lot more experienced than me. So you're gonna have to be a little patient with me because I don't know what the fuck is going on. And you're gonna have to help me learn along the way. There are a lot of things that you understand that you've already experienced
Starting point is 00:09:23 that I am just now experiencing for the first time. Hold my hand through this experience, you know? Like, be on my team for this, right? And I think if you're honest about that, it just takes all the weirdness out of it, really. I think where you go wrong is when you try to pretend that you're more experienced than you are. You know, you go into a situation with somebody who maybe has dated a bunch of people, whatever, and you're sort of fresh on the scene and you're playing it off like, nah, nah, I know what's going on. It's totally fine. It's totally cool. This is no problem. I've been here before.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I've done this. And it's like, no, you fucking haven't. And that's fine. But you just have to say that or else you're setting an expectation for people like, oh, this person maybe has equal amount of experience to me. And then that's when it gets awkward. You're not going to ruin anything by being inexperienced. I think the only time you ruin anything or make things weird is when you aren't honest. I wish that I would have taken the pressure off of myself when I was younger to have my first relationship, have sex, do all these things.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I wish I would have taken the pressure off of myself and just trusted that it was going to come at the right time, because it did for me. In the period of my life when I was rushing it, say in high school, I was miserable. Everything went wrong. It was chaos. You know, I'd like go and make out with a boy and I was too scared and I didn't trust the boy. And I would like try to make out with the most popular boy I could find that
Starting point is 00:10:58 would like, well, not that like I would find, I would never seek it out. I'd wait for them to, but like, I was always striving for the wrong guy, just trying to prove to myself that I could do it, and it would always end up destroying me mentally because I was just trying to rush the process. I wasn't just letting it unfold naturally. Like, I would have been completely fine
Starting point is 00:11:17 had I skipped out on all the shitty high school bad hookups and just waited for my first relationship to do everything. Like I would have been fine and it would have saved me a lot of grief. And you learn quickly, you figure it out. Like we as humans just, we're built to do this shit. You know what I mean? And so there's something to be said
Starting point is 00:11:39 for just trusting yourself. It's never too late. There's nothing to feel behind about. There's nothing to feel behind about. There's nothing to feel embarrassed about. Your first relationship is coming and it'll come into your life when the universe decides if you believe in the universe or some sort of, some sort of, some sort of pull, some sort of spiritual presence in the world. The universe will bring that to you when it's time.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I really believe that. Now you might not believe that and that's totally fine. I'm not religious, but I do believe that things like this just tend to unfold almost in a divine way. Like in retrospect, my relationship timeline unfolded so beautifully. You know, like I feel like my first relationship came at the right time in my life.
Starting point is 00:12:26 And then every relationship following that has come at the right time in my life and has ended at the right time in my life. And so I just tend to trust at this point, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, if it makes you feel better, you could even be kind of silly about it. Like make a joke about it, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Make light of it, own it. That helps so much. Anytime I'm embarrassed or ashamed of something about myself, a weird coping mechanism for me is going in the opposite direction and owning it and talking about it. And that might not work for everyone. Okay. So trust me, it's okay if that doesn't work for you. It's kind of weird that it works for me, but I've found so much power in that. So maybe that's something you could try too. But just remember that it's all gonna be okay. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and you're not behind.
Starting point is 00:13:17 There's no such thing because there's no one singular timeline to live by. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead. Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. Someone said, I'm scared of the future. I'm a senior in high school and I don't know what I want to do with my life or who I want to be. Any tips? I think it's so ridiculous. No, see, here's the problem. Okay. When you're a senior in high school, you're already deciding what
Starting point is 00:14:13 college you're going to go to if you want to go to college or figuring out what your first job is going to be if you're going straight into the workforce. Or if you want to go to trade school, like you're already sort of figuring out what trade you want to get into. It is asking a lot of an 18 year old to make a big step towards their career when their brain isn't even fully developed yet. Like at 18 years old, your brain is not fully developed. I'm pretty sure. Should I Google that or should I just say that fact and only vaguely know if it's true? I will Google it. The brain finishes developing and
Starting point is 00:14:49 maturing in the mid to late 20s. So yeah, it's a really huge ask of an 18 year old to know what you want to do, know who you are, and start making steps towards that. However, it's an inevitable decision that must be made. After high school, you need to figure out your next move. But I think the problem is not that the 18 year olds need to figure out their next move. The problem is the pressure that schools and parents and friends put on these 18 year olds
Starting point is 00:15:27 to have it all figured out. That's where the problem is. Because making a next move is crucial. You have to figure out what the fuck you're doing next after high school. You have to figure it out. Everyone does. But the problem is, is that that choice
Starting point is 00:15:39 is almost always lumped in with, well, do you know exactly what you want to do with your future? Because if not, how are you going to make this next move? That's ridiculous to me. And that's getting it all wrong because you can make your next move and not know what you want to do with your life.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Like, I don't even know what I want to do with my life. Okay. I left high school to pursue an internet career, as we know, here I am doing it. Do I want to do this forever? Is this even going to last forever? Maybe not. I might pivot and go and do something else at some point in my life. For me, my next move was sort of presented to me in a very unusual way. You know, posting on YouTube became an option for a job and I was like, well, let me just pursue this while I can.
Starting point is 00:16:28 You know, it's here. I would be stupid not to pursue this. And that's gonna happen to some people in life where their next move is obvious. Whether they've had the same dream job since they were five years old, they've always wanted to be a veterinarian and they're pursuing that. So it's very obvious to go to veterinarian school, veterinary school,
Starting point is 00:16:50 whatever. Or they've always wanted to be a coffee shop owner. So they go to business school and it's obvious, or they've always wanted to be a lawyer. So they go to law school, whatever. For some people, the next move is going to be obvious. Maybe even for some people, it's like, I just want to get married and be a stay-at-home mom, or I want to get married and be a stay-at-home dad, whatever. And maybe they're marrying their high school sweetheart, and they don't have to go do that. They can just get pregnant at like 20. You know what I mean? It's like, for some people, it's clear. It's obvious. It's written in the stars. They've known it since they were young. It's whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:24 For other people, it comes right at the right time. It's like, oh my God, I had to make this decision and now suddenly I had this epiphany. Okay, yeah. But that's a small majority, I feel like. Most people are like, I kind of know what I like, but I don't really know what I like. And that's fine. That's completely normal. I think it's important to remember that the pressure to know what's gonna happen next is not fair to you. It's not fair to you. As a senior in high school, I don't think it's fair. It's a ridiculous thing to ask of a child.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I think, well, I guess at 18, you're not a child anymore, but still sort of a child. I think 18 is still very much a child. You were a kid yesterday. You know what I mean? I think a better way of thinking about it is what's something that I'm interested in? What's something that I want to try out? What's something that excites me?
Starting point is 00:18:20 Let's say you want to go to college and you're trying to figure out what to major in. Unless you have a clear idea of what you want your career to be major in something that's interesting to you That's the next right move Major in something that you're interested in studying choose something that you're genuinely going to be excited about Showing up to school for if you can find that if you don't even want to go to college and you're like, you know What I just want to get straight into the workforce. Start getting little jobs in industries that interest you. You know, if you're like, well, you know, I've always sort of had a thing for food. I've always sort of been a foodie in a way or something.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Maybe that's something that you're interested in. Go work at like a cute cafe that sells creative pastries nearby your house. I don't know. These are very simplified examples, but take the pressure off to see 10 years down the line. And think about right now, what's interesting to you right now?
Starting point is 00:19:15 What would inspire you to get out of bed every day, right now? And go and do that. And when it comes to not knowing who you wanna be, does anyone know? I don't think anyone knows who they want to be at 18. And anyone who thinks that they do will realize soon that who they want to be is changing. It just changed.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Like, again, you're not fully developed at 18. You're not fully there yet. You just, you're not supposed to know who you want to be yet. You haven't even existed in the real world yet. When you're a senior in high school, you have not lived in the real world. You have not functioned in the real world yet. You've lived in a high school sort of bubble in a way.
Starting point is 00:19:55 And not until you experience the real world, can you have a clear understanding of who you want to be? I think because high school is sort of a bubble. You're there every single day, five days a week. It's sort of an echo chamber in a way because you're around the same kids, the same teachers, every single day, you're in the same town. It's sort of an echo chamber. Not until your community becomes the world
Starting point is 00:20:24 when you graduate high school, can you gather enough information to know who you want to be. When I left high school and I came to LA and I started meeting so many different types of people, and when I started traveling a bit more and meeting all different types of people, only then was I like, okay, now I'm starting to gather information and a well-rounded amount of information. When you're stuck in that bubble, you cannot gather enough information
Starting point is 00:20:51 to figure out who you wanna be. It's impossible, not until you're just in the world. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are some very worldly high schoolers and don't let me take that away from y'all, but I just think for the most part, you're in a bubble in high school. You need to gather more information.
Starting point is 00:21:08 You haven't lived enough life yet to know who you wanna be. Okay, the next person said something similar, however, a little different. I'm starting my third year of college and still don't know what I wanna do with my life. Obviously, everything I just said for the last person applies here, but I think
Starting point is 00:21:27 the difference here is that towards the end of college, the pressure I imagine grows even more to know what the fuck is going to happen next. But my argument still stands that it's ridiculous to expect someone in their 20s, early 20s, to know exactly what they want to do with their life. You're still a kid. Not really. You are an adult. But like, I don't know. It's still allowed to ask of someone in their early 20s to know exactly what they want to do with their life. And I think the same advice applies here. What's the next most interesting, inspiring thing that you can find? It might not be ideal. It might not be where you want to stay forever, but what's the best next option?
Starting point is 00:22:11 You know what I mean? I also feel like a lot of confusion about one's future in today's day and age, I think there's this societal pressure to find this sparkly, shiny career and have that be one's purpose. And don't get me wrong, I think that that can be someone's purpose and that can end up being the conclusion that is came to. However, it doesn't need to be sparkly to be right for you. I think that that's where people forget to look when they're trying to figure out, okay, what's my passion or what's a job that I think would enhance my life in some way. People tend to overlook the less shiny options. And I think that that's where a lot of people get lost. I also think people fail to ask themselves
Starting point is 00:23:07 What do I actually enjoy doing? Like when I think about the bare bones of what I personally enjoy doing like the most generic Explanation of what I personally enjoy doing nothing specific no specific sort of actions, but just Overall in life. What do I enjoy doing? What specific, no specific sort of actions, but just overall in life, what do I enjoy doing? What are my hobbies? I like telling stories for one. I also like organizing things. I kind of like solving puzzles sometimes, like not actual puzzles, but solving a puzzle of a problem. And I like comforting people and making people feel good. Okay, those are the things that I like to do.
Starting point is 00:23:48 I like those things. And being aware of those things helps me make decisions in my life, but more specifically in my career, because I know that those are things that I like. So I go towards things that allow me to utilize those skills and those things that I like. So I go towards things that allow me to utilize those skills and those things that I enjoy. I think that that's a great starting point to be like, okay, most basic question ever. What do I like doing? Do you like movement? Like, do you like moving your body? Do you like talking to people? Do you like getting into the flow state and like grinding solo on a project?
Starting point is 00:24:26 Like what do you like? The answer to the question is not as specific as like, well, I like going shopping for groceries and I like, it's even more stripped down than that. It's like, I like being told what to do and having a set of instructions and completing it. It's something like that. You see what I mean? That is a great place to start when you're trying to figure out what your next move is.
Starting point is 00:24:52 And then from there, you can find things that fall into those categories and you can try those things out. And again, they might not be the most sparkly option, they might be the most sparkly option. It might be something very impressive, like starting an entrepreneurial endeavor, but it also might be something that's a little less societally sparkly. It might be something like, I don't know, it's not societally sparkly. It might be something like working for a garbage company or something. It doesn't matter, but it's like what utilizes the part of your brain that you like to utilize and start there. And also just know that it's never too late to pivot. Okay. My dad's a great example of this. He was in a band. I've done an interview
Starting point is 00:25:36 with him if you want to go listen to that, but he was in a band in his twenties, I believe. And that was potentially going to be his career, but then he ended up not doing that. And then he got into construction work and he was doing construction work for a while. And then he eventually became an electrician when I was a kid, up until I was honestly like a tween-ager probably. And then eventually he became a full-time artist, oil painter. And he started oil painting when I was a baby. Like he started when he was probably 35, I think, or 32, in his 30s. He started in his 30s, long after college.
Starting point is 00:26:17 And like he doesn't care about how much money he makes doing art. He doesn't care that it's maybe it's less than if he had another job. He doesn't care because this's maybe it's less than if he had another job. He doesn't care because this is ultimately what he enjoys doing. And he got to where he is now by just taking the next most appealing step. He didn't have this grand plan to become a full-time painter. He just, it happened. If somebody would have told that to him when he was like 20, he would have been like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm not a great artist, you know? But now he's an amazing artist
Starting point is 00:26:47 because he just fell into it. I don't know. So I think that it's important to remember that things can change. Like you don't have to have it all figured out in your 20s. You don't have to have it all figured out in your 30s. Some people figure out what they really like to do in their 50s.
Starting point is 00:27:02 But in the meantime, it's about just finding something that you enjoy in some way, at least. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply, details at fizz.ca.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Next, someone said, dude, my life looks so different than what most people want. Is that okay? Of course that's okay. It's so hard to take the traditional life trajectory off of the pedestal and to sort of unlearn it and realize that we're all on our own journey and it's going to look different for all journey and it's gonna look different for all of us and it should look different for all of us. And that's okay. But my God, is it challenging because we see a certain trajectory praised online
Starting point is 00:27:57 and in our communities. If you're from maybe a smaller, more traditional town, what's praised is school and then more school and then job and then married and then kid and then retire and then die. Simple, traditional, easy, timeless, iconic. Everyone's doing it. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:28:21 It's like that is what is praised and rewarded a lot of times. And then on social media, I feel like the lifestyle that's, I don't know, I mean, it depends on what corner of the internet that you're in, but I think what tends to be praised is sort of the opposite. Like entrepreneurship, being independent, not getting married, not having kids, making a lot of money. That tends to be the lifestyle that is praised. Not always, I guess.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I don't know, it depends. The internet is just so vast that it's hard to say, but I see that a lot. But all of this to say, I think it's fucking cool when the life that people desire is different than the average. I think that that's cool. I also think it's cool when people wanna go the average,
Starting point is 00:29:07 not even average, the common route. I even think that that's cool too. There's no right or wrong way to live your life. As long as you're working towards a fulfilling life in one way or another, and that can look a trillion different ways. You can find fulfillment from your career in some ways, in some circumstances.
Starting point is 00:29:27 You can find fulfillment from family. You can find fulfillment, not from your job at all. Your job is just something you do from nine to five, but you find fulfillment in your friendships or in your hobbies. You know, you might find fulfillment from a mixture of everything. You might find that you don't even want to have a job
Starting point is 00:29:44 and you just want to marry someone who's rich and you want to be done. Like it doesn't matter, who fucking cares? As long as you are taking steps towards a fulfilling life, there's no wrong way to do it. And I actually find that if you're someone who maybe craves a life that's a bit unusual and you succumb to the pressure of
Starting point is 00:30:06 fitting in and following the trajectory that's popular, you will end up miserable. You will be miserable. That will make your life suck. And at the end of the day, you have to live your life for you. Who else? Who cares? Who the fuck cares? Who cares? When you look at life through the lens of like, this is a blank canvas and I can do whatever the fuck cares? Who cares? When you look at life through the lens of like, this is a blank canvas and I can do whatever the fuck I want with it because this is my life and the sky's the limit. I can do anything.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Yeah, there might be challenges along the way. There might be roadblocks, whatever. Sure, but this is all up to me. You know, I don't have to structure it in any specific type of way. I can get creative with it. When you start looking at life like that, you might still end up doing what is maybe common,
Starting point is 00:30:53 but you'll come to that conclusion yourself instead of that conclusion being come to for you by society or the people around you. It's so important to embrace the blank canvas that life is, I'm so cringe today. Oh my God, I'm like a fucking walking, I feel like a Pinterest quote today, fuck. Like this is just, this is just whatever.
Starting point is 00:31:14 I love it. I'm cringe. I'm a little cringe sometimes, sorry. But it's cute, it's cute. It's fine, it's cute and that's fine. Anyway, long story short, when you look at your life as a blank canvas and you embrace that and you look at that
Starting point is 00:31:30 as a beautiful thing and an exciting thing, and you keep your eyes on your own fucking canvas and make a piece of art that looks good to you, who cares what other people think of it? This piece of art is for you, it's for your house. It's for your metaphorical house. Think of it like that. Think of your life as this magnum opus of an art piece. Okay? And you start with a blank canvas and you can choose to paint this canvas however you want. It can be easy to look around and see what your friends and family are painting.
Starting point is 00:32:01 It can be easy to Google online, like famous painters, what did they do and copy? Yes. It can be tempting to do that. And maybe that's exactly what you want to do. Maybe that's what will bring you fulfillment. Maybe that truly is the best for you. Like maybe that is actually the answer. Maybe that is your magnum opus is to do something sort of metaphorically van goh-esque because van goh is idol. You see what I'm saying? Okay, maybe that's the case, but what you have to remember is that this is your painting.
Starting point is 00:32:30 This is your painting, and you're the one that has to live with it. No one else has to live with it in their house. This is the one painting that is in your house, your metaphorical house. Only you have to live with it, therefore, you must love it, or you must try your best to love it. And every single day you can add a little bit more paint
Starting point is 00:32:49 or you can scrape off a chunk of paint because you didn't like that chunk. Every day you're adding to this canvas, but you have to like it. It has to be painted for you. Yeah, other people are gonna see it when they come over to your house, but guess what?
Starting point is 00:33:04 They leave your house. You're stuck in your house. It's your house, you live there. So you going to see it when they come over to your house. But guess what? They leave your house. You're stuck in your house. It's your house. You live there. So you have to like it. Do you get what I'm saying? We feel pressure because it's like, Oh, other people come over to the house and they see the painting and like, Oh, my painting is kind of weird.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Like it's, it's different, but it's like, that's what makes it cool though. You'll be shocked at how many people will come in and see your weird painting and be like, that's actually fucking cool though. Like I don't know that metaphor. That's all I have to offer. Okay. With that one. But I hope that that was helpful.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Okay. And last one of the day, someone said, how to genuinely stop caring what other people think and do what you want in life. In my experience, what's helped me sort of stop caring about what other people think is to make myself proud. If I'm proud of myself, then I don't give a fuck what other people think.
Starting point is 00:33:56 And this is naturally a bit harder for me personally, because I have horrific imposter syndrome. It's better now than it used to be. And I actually have an episode about that if you wanna go listen. But if I'm making myself proud, then I don't care what other people think. Now, the sneaky thing is that we can be in search
Starting point is 00:34:17 of making ourselves proud in the wrong areas. For example, for me, being successful in my career doesn't really make me feel proud of myself, unfortunately. It just doesn't. Because yeah, if you look at it on paper, it's great. You know, maybe that's great. It is great. That's great. But that doesn't for some reason, and people don't get to relax, that does not fulfill me. That's not what fulfills me. I don't look in the mirror and feel proud of myself because my career on paper looks like a success in many areas. That does not fulfill me. That does not make me feel proud. Okay? What makes me feel proud is when my work ethic is on point, when I'm working hard and I'm proud of how much I'm working.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Also, when I'm doing good in some way for the world, that makes me feel proud. Being a good person makes me feel proud when I treat other people kindly and I'm fair and I'm reasonable. And listen, I'm not great at all this all the time. Sometimes my work ethic is shit. Sometimes I'm a. And listen, I'm not great at all this all the time. Sometimes my work ethic is shit. Sometimes I'm a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:35:27 I'm like calling my friends or like calling my parents or whoever. And I'm like in a phase where I'm just being negative and I'm talking shit and I'm just like a piece of shit. You know what I mean? We all have phases like that. This happens, that's fine. But I know that that's what makes me proud of myself
Starting point is 00:35:43 is when I'm working hard and I'm being a good person and That's when I'm the most proud of myself and in those moments I don't give a fuck what other people think but when I'm slacking in those areas that I know make me feel proud of myself That is when I start caring what other people think to me being a good person Overall and doing my best that sets me free. Because at the end of the day, being a good person and having a good work ethic, all of these things, they are far more important in the grand scheme of life than anything else.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Honestly, the most important thing. And if you have that, then you can have a failing career at a given moment. And it doesn't matter because you're a good person and you're working hard and you're trying your best. And that is the ultimate challenge. That's maybe why it's the most fulfilling thing is because we're all on an even playing field there as humans. Being a good person, anyone and everyone can be a good person today. There's no barrier
Starting point is 00:36:52 to entry. I mean, there is at times, depending on, you know, your challenges may be growing. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are, there are, I guess, some barriers to entry. However, everyone can do it. Yet it's so challenging to do the right thing and to make yourself proud. It is so hard, yet anyone can do it. And that's why it's so effective, I think, because it's something that we can all do, and it does set you free.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Anyway, so that was my little advice for today. Hey, I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe you got something from it, maybe you didn't. Maybe you didn't at all. Maybe you disagree with my advice. And if that's the case, that is totally fine. If you wanna be included in a future advice session, go check out the Anything Goes Instagram at Anything Goes.
Starting point is 00:37:40 And you can DM anytime, but also we post on stories every once in a while and specifically ask for more current challenges. So either way, send them in and get my unprofessional advice. If you enjoyed this, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts. You can follow me on Instagram too if you want to keep up with me at Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee company. If you live in the US, we might be in a store near you. So go check out the store locator
Starting point is 00:38:12 on chamberlaincoffee.com or you can just order it and it'll come straight to your door. Also on chamberlaincoffee.com. That's all I have for today. I love you all and appreciate you all and love hanging out and love giving you advice. And hopefully you like receiving advice. Maybe you don't. Sometimes I hate receiving advice, but I kind of like to hear advice and then I just choose little bits and pieces that apply to me. So anywho, okay, that's all I have. I love you all.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Talk to you very soon. Bye.

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