anything goes with emma chamberlain - social life, success, and sleep [video]

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

[video available on Spotify] when i was in high school i was scrolling through instagram, and i stumbled upon a graphic of a triangle. at the end of each tip of the triangle there was a priority - sleep, success in work/school, and social life. on the bottom of the screen it said choose two. the concept was that you can’t prioritize everything in your life at the same time. for years of my life i’ve sort of lived with this instagram graphic in the back of my head. i’ve constantly reminded myself, something’s gotta give. i can’t prioritize everything i want to prioritize 100%. but recently i had an epiphany and thought, is this true? so today i want to explore this concept, because i think there’s a lot of value there, but it could use a little bit more nuance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello. When I was in high school, I was scrolling through Instagram and I stumbled upon a graphic and the graphic looked a little something like this. Okay, there was a triangle and at the end of each tip of the triangle, there was a priority. So on one tip of the triangle, there was sleep. On the other tip of the triangle, there was success in work or school. And then on the last tip of the triangle, there was social life. And on the bottom of the screen, it said choose to. And basically, the concept of this was, you can't prioritize everything in your life that you want to prioritize. You might want to have good quality sleep,

good quality social life, in a successful work life or a successful school life. But the truth is, we're not capable of that as humans. And you have to choose to in your life. You can't have all three. You can't succeed in every area of your life that you want to succeed at. That was kind of the concept of this graphic. Now for me as a high school student, this absolutely blew my mind.

This was philosophy at its finest. This was everything I was looking for at the time. A basic explanation for why I was struggling so much. And it did explain that to me because at the time I was prioritizing social life and success. And I wanted to be prioritizing sleep, but it just seemed like I couldn't get that part under control. And so for years of my life life I sort of lived with this Instagram graphic in the back of my head. I constantly reminded myself something's got to give I

Can't prioritize everything. I want to prioritize 100% but Recently I had an epiphany and I was like, you know, is this true? Is this accurate? And so today I want to explore this concept and I want to talk about what parts I think are true, what parts I think are false, and how we can use this Instagram graphic to come to a useful conclusion that's maybe a little bit more developed than the simple Instagram graphic.

I think that there's a lot of value there, but I think it could use a little bit more nuance. I think that there's more there. So, we're going to be talking about this today. Who would have thought that a weird Instagram graphic from 2016 would follow me into 2023? The first thing I want to discuss is the truth in this model. I think the truth is that at a given moment, you can never give your 100% to everything that you want to give your 100% to. Something is always going to get 50% effort in your life. If you're in a season of your life

where you're really focused on getting enough rest, but also getting all your school and work done, there's a good chance that you're not gonna be hanging out with your friends very often. Your friends are gonna be receiving 50% of your effort. If there's a period of your life when, you know, you're just trying to enjoy life. And so you're hanging out with your friends a lot, but you're also getting proper sleep. Your school slash work life is probably going to suffer a little bit, or it's just going

to receive 50%. I think it's impossible to expect yourself to give 100% in every category of your life at all times. It's completely unrealistic. And if you expect that from yourself, you're not gonna be feeling so good. Because you're destined to fail. You're destined to not complete your promise to yourself.

If your promise is, I'm gonna give 100% to every category of my life at all times moving forward You will fail at that most likely and you will feel bad as a result So I think the nice thing about this model, you know Is that it sort of shows you that you can only choose to at a given moment and that third thing is going to suffer But that's okay, and that's human. And I think that that's a good thing to remember. It's inspiration to give yourself some grace when you find that certain areas of your life aren't getting proper

attention. It's like, no, that's not a failure. That's being a human. But now I want to talk about why this diagram is flawed. I think the first issue is this model kind of makes it feel like you have to choose your priorities and leave some things behind when choosing those priorities and that that has to be your life's mission. Not to read too deeply into this, but that was sort of the way I interpreted this model when I saw it. I was like, this feels like a huge commitment. Like, wow, I have to choose two of these things

to prioritize for the rest of my life. Instead of looking at it like, at any given moment, I can only choose to. But if I decided to change my mind down the line, I can do that. If I want to prioritize school and social life for the month of February, great. But then if March rolls around and I want to prioritize social life in school and let my sleep suffer a little bit, then I can do that. I feel like this model made me think very one direction. And so that was the way I misinterpreted it, I think, at the time. Because I was like, in order for this model to make sense, I have to stick to it forever.

I don't think that that's true. I think that this model is a positive thing and an accurate thing if you look at it in the sense of, well, yes, I can only choose two priorities at a time, out of three, but I can also shift that on a monthly basis, on a weekly basis, even on a daily basis, if I want to. I think this model kind of makes you feel like you can't constantly be shifting your priorities in a way that eventually allows you to actually find success and balance in all of these categories. It makes you feel like one thing will always have to suffer forever. And I'm not so sure that that's true. Another issue I have with this model is that I think it neglects two more crucial categories

and priorities that we have in our lives. I think it neglects quiet alone time, slash boredom time, time to be bored, time to be alone, time to be quiet, which is crucial, I would argue. I mean, I guess that could be grouped into sleep, but I don't really think so, because sleep is like not awake. And it's really important, in my opinion, to be awake and alone and quiet and introspective. I think that's so important. And I think that that should be a priority. And that was neglected from this model. But another thing that was excluded from this model diagram was time to be creative, time to participate in hobbies, time to do extracurricular activities. I think those two things are incredibly

important and should be included in this diagram. So in my mind, I think that this diagram needs to be updated to instead of being a triangle that says, sleep, work slash school, and social life, I think it should be a pentagon that has sleep, work slash school, social life, alone time slash recharge, time slash boredom, time to be bored, and time for hobbies, creativity, and extracurricular activities. And then instead of saying choose two,

it should say choose as many as you can at any given moment. And it's okay if it's only one. And it's okay if it's only two. And if you can get up to three, you're a superhero. And if you can get up to four, you're really a superhero. And if you can get up to five, you are annoying and everybody's jealous of you. And you're defying all laws of humanity,

basically. So now that we have this updated diagram that I believe is more accurate, let's talk about why this is a useful diagram. I think it's useful because in order to be intentional about your time, you have to decide what your priorities are on a given day. And I think a lot of us do this subconsciously. You know, we wake up and we're like, okay, what's my priority for today? We look at our calendar, we're like, all right. And it all happens subconsciously.

But I think there's something to be said for being mindful about our priorities and what we want to use our time for. There's nothing wrong with falling into autopilot and letting those choices be subconscious, but I think it's actually a superpower in a lot of ways to be mindful about our priorities and to be sort of strategic about what we prioritize and when we prioritize it, because I think it makes us a lot more efficient. It makes life a lot smoother because you're correlating your priorities with your current mental state and your current amount of energy, et cetera, in order to have the most flow in life as

possible, you know? Because if you're just listening to your subconscious priorities, you might find that you hit a roadblock, you hit burnout, you hit frustration because your priorities in your current state are not matching up because you're not taking the time to be mindful and make sure that everything's clicking together at once. Like for example, let's say I wake up one day and I'm just exhausted. But all my calendar, I have a lot of work to do. I have a dinner with my friends. I have an exercise class and I have, hey, yeah, that's good. But let's say I'm so exhausted. I'm like, there's no way I can do all of this

today. I might look at this list and say, okay, what takes the most energy out of all these things? And I might think and say, it's getting dinner with my friends. If I have to do that, I'm not going to be able to do anything else. So you might cancel those plans. And then you look and say, okay, let's see. What else here can I just not do today? And you're like, okay, I can't do my workout class today. That's like an extracurricular activity. I don't have time for that today. So you cross that out, you cancel that class. And you focus on getting your work done that day and getting sleep. That's what it looks like to be mindful about your priorities, to say, you know what, I know I can't give all of the stuff on my calendar today 100%. So I'm going to cancel the stuff that doesn't really need my

attention and can be focused on later. And I'm going to choose the one to two things that I can do today. Get worked on in sleep in the example that I just gave. So I feel like that's what it's like to be mindful on a daily basis, but on a more long term basis, maybe you're looking at your priorities for the month or for the year, I think the best way to be mindful about that is to sort of make a decision, you know, make a decision about what you think those priorities are, knowing that it can't be everything. And then keep that in the back of your mind on a daily basis when you wake up.

Be aware of what is on the top of your list every day. And sort of live by that. You know, when you look at your to-do list, check the things off first that are related to your top priorities for the month or for the year. Start out with those things. Because then once you're done giving 100% to those things, if you end up not having energy later in the day to do the other things that you have on your to-do list, it's not as big of a deal because those things aren't your number one priorities right now. You know, it's less of a blow to let those things go and not not have the energy for them. I would say my personal priorities that I've set for myself

personal priorities that I've set for myself, kind of indefinitely, would be number one sleep because I just can't function properly without it. Number two, a loan time slash time to be bored slash time to recharge. That's my second priority. And I would say my third priority is work. I would say those are my three biggest priorities. My social life is important to me, but I can't put it in my list of priorities at this point in my life. It just, it doesn't fulfill me enough. And so it's not on my list. It's not on my top three. Obviously, you know, talking to my parents on the phone,

spending time with my boyfriend, that's different because that just would happen no matter what, I guess. So that's always kind of in there too. But I don't really consider that my social life because that's not me going out. That actually counts as part of my alone time in a weird way. Because when I'm with my parents or boyfriend or my family,

it recharges me in a similar way to being completely alone. So I sort of group it in there into that priority. I would love to dedicate more of my time to hobbies, extracurricular activities, etc. But I'm just not in the season of my life where that makes sense for me. I think my social life and my hobbies are the things that are suffering in this chapter of my life right now. And I think the word suffering is kind of extreme, but they are getting less attention. You know, they are things that I really want to put more energy into at some point in my life. And they are things that I can occasionally give some effort towards, but they aren't

things that I can fully dedicate myself to right now. What I can dedicate myself to is my work, my alone recharge time, and my sleep. Those are my priorities right now. My daily schedule really reflects this, I would say. I tend to go to bed pretty early on a consistent basis. You know, I wake up and I exercise, which exercise for me is something I like to do alone. And I'm able to think when I'm working out, and I think to myself, it's very like internal. For me, like that experience is very internal. I don't work with a personal trainer. I don't want to have one-on-one conversation. I want to exercise and be alone at the same time.

That's huge for me. I live alone, so when I'm at home doing my thing, whether I'm like working at the computer or hanging out on my couch or whatever, I'm almost always alone thinking, doing whatever I gotta do. I'll spend, you know, a few hours a day, maybe one to three hours a day, three hours probably max, hanging out with one of my family members or my boyfriend or whoever. And then I go to bed at like 10, 30, 11 p.m. and I wake up and do the whole thing all over again. There's an occasion where I might go out and party. You know, I'm like, you know what? Tonight I'm saying, fuck it.

You know, maybe I got a lot of sleep the night before and I feel like I'm super rested and I feel like I could Go for a night out. Maybe I am Done with my work for the week. I have nothing to work on anyway, so I didn't have to put any energy towards that So I have a lot more energy than usual Maybe I I'm I've had a lot of alone time Over the last few weeks or whatever and I'm feeling a lot of alone time. Over the last few weeks or whatever, I'm feeling actually kind of hungry for some social interaction.

Then maybe I'll go out and I'll party and I'll have fun. There are still times when I can give my 100% to things that are not on my priority list, but it's only when the things on my priority list don't need any attention. So that's kind of how it plays a role in my day-to-day life. I think the way that I chose my list of priorities, top priorities, was through a lot of trial and error, you know, throughout my life I've had a different list of top priorities.

I've noticed that there's certain priorities that when they're in my top list, they make me unhappy. For example, when my social life is in my list of top priorities, I find that I'm a little bit less happy. And the reason for that is, is that when I'm prioritizing my social life, that means that something else is suffering. And that might mean my work, that might mean my sleep, that might mean my alone time. And I need those things. Through trial and error, I figured out that I need those things. For example, when I used to prioritize my social life, I was constantly stressed out, feeling like I wasn't getting enough work done.

I couldn't even enjoy hanging out with friends because when I was, I was constantly thinking about how I could be working on, you know, clearing my schedule a little bit by getting work done. I was constantly sleep deprived because friends like to hang out late at night, like to go do fun stuff, go get a milkshake at a diner at 2 in the morning, you know. And that's so fun. But when I was doing that all the time, I was constantly sleep deprived. And so I didn't have the energy to do anything physical when I did have a loan time instead of using it to be Recharging and introspective all I could do was sleep

So I didn't have any a loan time to just sit with my thoughts, which is something that's really important to me And so you get the point the way that I figured out my list of priorities was through a lot of analyzing each priority and also through trial and error, you know, trying it out and seeing how it felt for me. And so as you're on this journey for yourself, there's gonna be a lot of trial and error and it's gonna look different for you than it does for me. 100%.

We're gonna talk about the pros and cons of each priority on my new trademarked diagram, the Pentagon, the new and improved diagram from Emma's Instagram feed in 2016 that was a triangle, which is so 2016. So I thought it would be interesting to go through the pros and cons of having each of these life categories in your top list of priorities. Because obviously all of these things will get our attention sometimes. But what are the pros and cons of putting these things in our top list? Having them in the forefront of our mind, whether it's for a day or for two weeks. We're going to talk about the pros and cons of social life, being a priority, success,

being a priority, sleep being a priority, a long time being a priority, and time to be creative slash do hobbies, slash do extracurricular activities. So let's get into it. First, let's start out with the pros of prioritizing your social life. I think having a lot of friends, having a strong social life definitely can help give you balance in your brain. Instead of your mind becoming an echo chamber of your own thoughts, which can happen if you spend too much time alone. When you have a strong social life,

you find that you're constantly bouncing ideas off of other people, getting other people's perspectives, talking through issues and stuff like that. And that can really help keep you down to earth in a way. When you're stuck in your own mind too much, you can become an echo chamber of your own thoughts. And you can spiral out of control. And so I think a social life is powerful for preventing that because you're constantly surrounded by other people who have other ideas

who can give you perspective when you might need it. Being social is also crucial for developing new meaningful connections. You know, if you already have a solid group of a few friends, you maybe have a close relationship with your family, maybe you have a solid group of a few friends, you maybe have a close relationship with your family, maybe you have a significant other, then maybe your social life doesn't need to be your number one priority because you already have meaningful relationships in your life that take a little bit less developing because they're already developed. I would say that's kind of the place that I'm in right now. I don't really need to go out and develop new friendships, new relationships because I have that infrastructure in my life right now. I don't really need to go out and develop new friendships, new relationships

because I have that infrastructure in my life right now. But if you don't, then it might make sense to prioritize your social life so that you can find some meaningful friendships and relationships. And in that case, that makes sense. Because having meaningful relationships is one of the most valuable and rewarding things that we experience in life. And it's just a fundamental part of being a human being. So that definitely cannot be ignored. I also think that social interaction and having a busy social life can at times be a healthy distraction, if done responsibly. It can very easily become an unhealthy

distraction, but there have been times in my life where I've sort of shifted my priorities so that my social life was in my top list because I needed something that was fun and that was a distraction and that just gave me something lighthearted to prioritize. When I look back at the time of my life where I was prioritizing my social life in a way where it worked. Number one, it was only for a short period of time, but number two, it also replaced my work a little bit. It was like, okay, I can't handle work being in my top list of priorities right now because I'm too burnt out. So instead I replaced it with my social life

and my social life kind of shifted into my top list of priorities for, I don't know, a period of time. And it actually worked out really well for me because it was a lighthearted, fun distraction. And it wasn't something that I could keep up for very long, but it was something that made sense for a period of time. And there's something about it that can actually help you recharge. Don't get me wrong.

Being alone, spending time alone, is crucial for recharging and for self-reflection. But being social also can recharge you. If you're really burnt out with worker school, sometimes the best thing you can do is prioritize your social life for a little bit and use that as a way to recharge. Having fun and enjoying yourself can really do wonders for burnout. Prioritizing your social life can also be really beneficial if you wanna work on your social skills.

You know, constantly putting yourself in social situations will naturally bring up some challenges socially. You know, you might get into an uncomfortable conversation here and there. You might find yourself having to navigate social cues to handle a situation properly, there's no better way to develop your social skills than to put yourself in a lot of social situations. So if you're in a place in your life where that's something you wanna develop,

maybe prioritizing your social life makes sense for you. I think prioritizing your social life can also be helpful. If you find that you're kind of stuck in one way of thinking. And maybe you're experiencing a sort of echo chamber in your small community, your family, maybe your significant other, and you all kind of think the same way, all kind of function in a similar way. And if you find that that's fatiguing or not inspiring growth

for you, maybe it makes sense to prioritize your social life for a little bit. Go meet some new people who have different perspectives, different life experiences, who can provide some sort of fresh perspective for you to chew on. Now let's talk about the cons of prioritizing your social life. I mean, a lot of people are not gonna click with you in this life. And a lot of people are gonna suck and drain your energy. But it can be hard to see that sometimes. So you may find yourself spending time

with the wrong people. If your social life is one of your priorities, it should also be one of your priorities to be intentional with that social time. And to spend time with people who are good people, who make you feel good, who inspire you to be a better person. But I think the reason why it can be challenging to successfully have your social life be in your topless of priorities is that just so many people will drain your energy and so many people are not gonna make sense in your life.

And so many people are going to misuse your time. And I think that that's the main challenge with this being a priority. I think when your social life is one of your priorities, it can be easy to get too involved. To a point where 90% of what's taking up your mind is the drama in your social circles, talking shit about somebody in your social circles. When you're too involved, it can just end up filling all of your time with pointless frustration. But there's also something kind of addicting about it too. Like there's something about the drama

that we just love as humans, not all of us, but a lot of us. We kind of eat it up. And so it can be easy to make the decision like, hey, you know what? I need to be a little bit more social. This is gonna kind of be on my top list for a little bit. I'm gonna really make this a thing,

but then to fall into the wrong social circle and then to end up spending all of your time thinking about drama, talking about drama, et cetera. Getting influenced by your friends or the people who you hang around to do things that don't align with your personality, et cetera. I think it's also really easy to overdo it with having a social life. It's so hard to have a healthy balance when it's in your top list of priorities.

Like for me, because my social life is not in my topless to priorities, I'm really comfortable with saying no to people all the time because I'm known as someone who says no to social gatherings frequently because there's just a lot of times when I don't have the time and energy to participate. And so I'm kind of known as that person. And so that's kind of become a part of my identity in a way. And now people know me as, well, she might come, but she probably won't.

But when you're somebody who is consistently present, socially, it starts to become an expectation in a way. And people start to invite you to everything. Because they're like, oh, you're somebody who always comes out and always wants to hang. So you always get invited to everything. And listen, that's time consuming. Going to every social gathering that you get invited to,

that's a lot. But when it's in your list of priorities, it can be hard to figure out what to say no to and what to say yes to because you're like, well, I know I need to be more social in my life. So I'm just going to say yes to everything within you end up having time for nothing else. And that's not good.

That's a complete imbalance. It's, I think, in my opinion, healthy to have a few things that you can give 100% to, or maybe even just 80% to, but you have that list of things that get your first priority. But I don't think you should ever have one thing as your priority for more than a week. Like I would say for a week, if you have one priority, everything else gets ignored. You have one priority for like a week. I think that's healthy. But if that goes on for too long,

then you have some problems. There's an imbalance. Because now all of your eggs are in one basket. And if things start to go wrong in that area, then you don't have anything else to fall back onto or you won't feel that way. If all you're doing is prioritizing your social life, what happens if your whole friend

group breaks up? And now you're like, wait, what do I, that's all I've been doing for like months is just focusing on my social life. What else do I have? You know, you look at your work and you're like, I'm so behind. Like I don't even know how I'm going to catch up on my work because I've not been giving that any attention. And then you look at like your sleep

and you're like, my sleep schedule has been so fucked up for months. I'm going to bed at like 2 a.m. and waking up at like 12 p.m. and I have no structure with my sleep at all. Like how in the world am I gonna fix this? You have all this stuff that you need to go back and fix and address, all at once. If your main priority is just one thing

and you're not kind of spreading it out a little bit. It's nice, you need to have a little bit of variation there. You obviously can't prioritize everything all at once, but you can't also only prioritize one thing for too long. That's why this is so complicated, I guess. My point is, with your social life, it's very easy to have tunnel vision and your only priority become your social life. Because being social takes a lot less discipline if it's something that comes naturally to you, or it's something that you find enjoyment in. And so it could be easy to completely

disappear into it. And I think that's a con. I think if you're spending too much time with people, you can sometimes lose your sense of individual thought. You know, you might fall victim to peer pressure in some ways. You might morph the way that you think to align more with your social circle. You might become a clone in a sense of your social circle if it's too much of a priority.

And you don't have balance in other areas of your life as well. And it's also hard to balance with a loan time. You know, I've noticed in my own life that I can usually only have one at a time, either social life in my list of priorities or alone time, in my list of priorities. Because I feel like I can only usually prioritize three things at once. That's like where I think I kind of level out. I feel like I get three things. You might be different.

You might be only two. You might be only one at times. You might be a magician who can prioritize five things at once, the whole Pentagon diagram that we've made today. But I think for me, I can only usually do three things at once. And if I'm prioritizing my social life and my alone time, then I only have room for like one more thing.

You know? Yeah, I usually have to choose one or the other, either a alone time or social life. I have to choose one. Now let's talk about the pros of prioritizing success in work or school. I think we can't ignore the fact that school and work are there for us in attempt to make us money. We go to school so that we can

gather enough knowledge so that we can be a valuable employee at some point. The whole reason why we go to school and we go to work is to either directly make money or to indirectly make money. Like obviously going to school a lot of times costs money. So that's not quite making you money yet. But the idea of going to school in 99% of scenarios is to eventually get a job that will eventually pay us money

so we can support ourselves. And when we work every day, it's to make money, right? I don't think anyone wants to work for free. I mean, there definitely are scenarios when working for free makes sense or is enjoyable or whatever, but I would consider that more of an extracurricular hobby. And I don't think there are very many people going to school past a certain point that aren't going to school to get a job. Obviously, there are exceptions. You know, there are some people who just love learning, but I don't know.

When it comes to college, especially, I think people are investing in college to hopefully make the money back eventually in a job, right? So I think the first positive that comes with prioritizing school and work is that you're working towards an income that can support your life. In the world that we live in, we have to make money in order to support ourselves, right? At least to a certain extent. And again, very complicated topic. It's like, there's so many exceptions,

but I think in theory and in an attempt to encapsulate school and work, the goal is to make money. And as frustrating and unfortunate as that can be, you know, that's just a part of our reality. And so I think having work or school in your list of priorities is a good thing because it's kind of something that we have to do

to a certain extent. If we have the access to it to function as well as we can in society, I would say. And I would say too, when you prioritize work or school, in theory, you might be working towards an income that could help you support yourself and maybe could allow you down the line to have more financial freedom in a way so that you can maybe pay for some wants, you know, instead of needs, right? You could afford maybe a vacation that's kind of

bougie. You can afford a car that you're excited about, or maybe just a car in general, or whatever, you know, I guess in theory, working hard now can potentially bring great rewards down the line financially. But again, it's complicated because number one, it's not always promised. Number two, it's a lot easier said than done. Number three, there are so many other variables that impact what job you're able to get, how much school you're able to attend, et etc. I mean, it's so complicated. But I think that working towards making money is not necessarily a bad thing

in the circumstances that we live in right now, you know. But now that we got the money part out of the way, because obviously that is a huge reason why we work and go to school. I also think that there's something to be said for, you know, the great level of satisfaction you can feel when you complete a project, whether that's at school or at work. Even if something is grueling or feels unnecessary, I think that there's a lot of opportunity to feel satisfied and proud of yourself at the end when you complete a project.

I know when I was in school, for example, I would torture myself to try to finish every project in every homework assignment right on time and have it be you know impeccable quality in all this and In the moment I would I would feel like oh this is so fucking stupid like why am I doing this like why does this even matter? It doesn't matter but then once I would turn it in I would feel this like euphoria.

Like I would feel so good because I worked so hard on something. And even though the only thing I get in return is a grade, what I got out of it was more than that. What I got out of it was this sense of confidence. Like, okay, I can accomplish shit. You know what I mean? If I put my mind to it and I work really hard, I can produce shit. You know what I mean? If I put my mind to it and I work really hard, I can produce shit. I can do things, you know, and that gave me a sense of confidence and it

made me more inspired to work hard in other areas of my life. So even though when you're working at school or work, it might sometimes feel pointless. You know, if you're working for someone else's company or you're going to school and you're studying a subject that's mandatory that you don't even really care about, obviously sometimes that can be frustrating and can feel completely unnecessary, but I also think that it develops you in so many ways. And that's a valuable thing, I would say. I think practicing discipline in work in that school is also a really powerful thing

because discipline is a great trait to have. It's not easy to have discipline with yourself, but I think mastering it or at least trying to master it. I don't know if you can ever master it, but attempting to master it, I think, is a really great thing. And I think at work in school, you have to practice discipline constantly because a lot of times, you don't want to be doing what you're doing. You don't want to be doing math homework. You don't want to be responding to emails. You don't want to be making a spreadsheet.

You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't want to be doing this shit. But it takes discipline to do it. And I think learning discipline is such a valuable thing to learn. And I think you could learn it elsewhere. But I think school and work is a great place to learn that. So that's another reason why I think prioritizing your success can come with other benefits. And last but not least, it helps with self-esteem.

You know, when I'm not working hard enough, this is applied for my whole life, by the way, not just as an adult, but my whole life. When I'm not working hard enough, I feel so shitty about myself. My self-esteem goes down substantially because I want to be a hard worker. You know, I admire people who work hard. So when I'm not doing that, I don't feel good hard worker. You know, I admire people who work hard. So when I'm not doing that, I don't feel good about myself. It makes me feel good to know that I'm working hard to create a life for myself that I'm excited about and proud of. Some may argue that your self-esteem being too heavily tied to your success in

work in school is not good. Actually, I would argue that. I would argue that, you know, your self-esteem shouldn't be completely tied to your level of success. But rather, it should be tied to your level of effort. I don't know if that's necessarily unhealthy. If you're doing the best that you can, but you're still failing, it doesn't matter that you're failing. It's about if you're doing the best that you can. And I think that that's what I mean here.

Myself esteem suffers when I know that I'm not doing the best I can when I should be, especially in worker school. You know, it's less about whether or not I succeed in the eyes of everyone else. It's more about whether or not I succeed in putting my max effort in. It makes you feel good when you work really hard, and it makes you feel good when you have a little success here and there. And so I think priorit you work really hard. And it makes you feel good when you have a little success here and there. And so I think prioritizing work in school

can sort of indirectly help with your self-esteem. Now there are definitely some cons when it comes to prioritizing success. Number one, tomorrow's never promised. So although prioritizing work in school is important to a certain extent, having it in your top list of priorities might give you less time to enjoy moments in life

that are more meaningful. You know, when you're on your deathbed, you're not gonna be thinking about how hard you worked. In your junior year history class, you're going to think about the time that you spent with the people that you care about. You're going to think about the discoveries that you made during your loan time. That's what's going to come up, okay? Working a tedious job, going to school, and it being tedious, that's not going to

feed your soul in the way that everything else does, right? At the same time, you can't completely neglect it. It needs to be at least somewhat of a priority, but whether or not it needs to be in your list of top priorities, I think, is up to you. But also, there might be chapters of your life when you're like, okay, I need to prioritize my work for like the next year because I need, I'm trying to get to a certain point. I'm trying to reach a certain goal. And then once you reach that goal, you're like, okay, now I can shift and put my priorities back into other areas that

fill my soul more. It's inevitable that at some point, you know, you're probably going to have to prioritize work or school but It doesn't have to be a forever thing in the last potential Problem with prioritizing your work in school is that your quality of life can suffer because You're not having enough fun. You know, working school is rarely fun, okay? Don't get me wrong. Sometimes it can be fun for some of us, maybe, but it can be easy to burn out.

And I guess that kind of applies for any of your top priorities. You can burn out on any of your top priorities pretty easily because they're in your top list. You know, it's easy to burn out on anything that's on the front of your mind. You have to take careful care to not let that happen. But I think with work in school, especially, it's so easy to get burnt out, because it's not always the most rewarding. Now, let's talk about the pros of prioritizing sleep. I think the most important thing is sleep is something that we can't live without. Like you need to sleep or else you bad things happen, Google it. So it's not a bad idea to have it in your list of priorities because

you kind of can't live without it. But also you function so much better when you're sleeping properly. I can't think straight or get anything done when I don't have enough sleep. I am a mess. I'm a mess. It makes everything in my life suffer. So if sleep is not a priority for me personally,

I can't get anything else done. Some people aren't this way. They don't need to prioritize sleep. They prioritize other things. Sleep is on the bottom of their list of priorities. It's not in their top three. So, some people can make it work, but it's good for your health, and it makes you so much more efficient. And I don't think there's much more to say about that. I would say the only con of prioritizing sleep is that maybe that you miss out on some fun activities occasionally, you know, sometimes things happen late at night.

People are going out, it's gonna be a fun crazy night at the club, you know what I'm saying? And you miss out because sleep is in your topless to priorities. But I don't know, I don't? And you miss out because sleep is in your top list of priorities. But I don't know. I don't really know if there's any cons to prioritizing sleep. I mean, maybe you're not as prone to sacrificing sleep to get something done on time.

And sometimes that makes sense to do, you know? Sometimes that actually makes your life easier longterm to sacrifice your sleep one day so that the next week you can sleep as much as you want. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. There's not a lot of cons. Next, let's talk about alone time.

Alone time being a main priority can be incredibly beneficial for self-development on a self-awareness level. You learn so much about yourself when you spend enough time alone. You aren't a stranger to yourself when you become comfortable with alone time, and you start to talk to yourself a little bit more. And that's incredibly valuable. Also, with a loan time comes boredom. And boredom is very important for discoveries on so many levels. You might discover something about yourself. You might uncover a rabbit hole that you want to go down on the internet or in a book or

whatever. You might discover a new hobby because you're bored and so you're like, oh, what can I do? Ooh, I kind of want to draw. You know, you discover things when you're bored. And I don't think you really get bored when you're with your friends or when you're working or you're at school. Like, yes, you get bored, but you also are doing something else.

So you can't fully be bored. And also being alone helps you recharge, you know? Like being able to be silent, not having to be on, not having to think about anyone but yourself, that is so incredible for recharging. And when you're able to properly recharge, you're able to focus better on other things. You're better able to focus on your work. You're better able to communicate with strangers politely.

You're better able to be supportive to people in your life, et cetera. When you're properly recharged, you can be so much more present. But the cons of prioritizing alone time is that you might overdo it. And as I mentioned earlier, you know, you might end up finding yourself in an echo chamber where you're just wallowing in your own thoughts and you might spiral and you have no one necessarily there to give you another perspective to help bring you down to earth. If you're like, no, I'm trying to handle everything on my own right now.

I'm prioritizing my alone time right now. You might feel less motivated to reach out to others in times of spiraling in a sense. You could also end up unintentionally alienating yourself socially. And you might end up cutting everyone off because you focus too hard on spending time alone and making that a priority. And it's also really easy to waste your alone time. Similar to how it's easy to waste your social time, alone time is not beneficial if you're not using it properly.

You know, if you're spending all of your a loan time on TikTok the whole time. Now listen, going on TikTok, going on Instagram, you know, watching TV and shit during some of your a loan time, 100%. Like we're human. Like we gotta do that. We gotta check in on our social media. We gotta catch up on the newest TV shows. Like we got to do that. We got to check in on our social media.

We got to catch up on the newest TV shows. Like don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you have to be fucking meditating every time you're alone for it to be beneficial. Like that's not the case. But you can't only be scrolling on TikTok when you're alone. You can't only be watching TV when you're alone to make it beneficial, right? I think if alone time is a priority for you, maybe you dedicate 50% of that time

to mindfulness, alone time that's mindful, rather than mind mindless like TikTok, TV, whatever. I think you can do both, but I think it's easy to spend all of your alone time distracted, and I think that removes the value from having that on your list of priorities. And last but not least, we're talking about the pros and cons of having creative time, extracurricular time, hobby time in your top list of priorities. I would say the pros would be, number one, if you're a creative person, this feeds your soul, this breathes life into you. It also gives you something to do that has nothing to do with money.

You know, a creative passion project, a hobby, an extracurricular activity. All of these things are things that you do that don't make you money. You do them because you want to do them, and they make you feel satisfied on a personal level and it has nothing to do with money It has nothing to do with your career. It's just you doing something because you want to do it And there's something really empowering about that also a lot of times these sorts of activities are challenging and They can teach you lessons. They can help you understand yourself better.

There's a lot of self discovery that can happen when you pursue a hobby or a creative interest. There's so many things you can learn from yourself based on how you approach these things and how you problem solve. But the other thing is, it's low stakes. I think these sorts of activities are one of the only opportunities we get in life to be presented with a challenge and not feel pressure to solve it, but rather feel excited

to solve it. You know, for example, your creative expression is through photography and you buy a new camera and it's really hard to use. Now, you don't have to figure out how to use the camera, but you want to know the ins and the outs of this camera because you want to know, because you know that once you figure it out you're going to be able to take incredible images and that excites you because you want to take those images you have things in your mind that you want to live in a photograph and you know that if you figure out how to use this camera you'll be able to do that. And so you feel this desire to figure out how to use the fucking camera, not because you're going to make X amount of money if you figure it out, but because you're going to have something that you're proud of that feeds your soul when you figure it out. And the process that you experience trying to figure out how to use this camera will show you how capable you are of problem solving.

You know, did you find a book in the library? So 2010, everything to do. But did you get a book on your Kindle about it? Did you look up a video on YouTube? Did you ask your friend to help you like all the different ways you go about problem solving help develop your ability to problem solve in any in all areas of your life. And it also makes you feel confident when you figure out how to solve a problem on your own. It makes you feel good. I would say the only con of prioritizing

these sorts of activities is that yeah, they don't make you money. So some may argue it's stupid to prioritize your creative expression, your extracurricular activities, your hobbies, because it doesn't make you money. And there are other things you could work on that would make you money. But I would say it depends on the person. Some people need these types of activities to be in their top list of priorities, because it makes them happy and it feeds their soul and it makes them a better person because they feel fulfilled by this.

Some people don't feel this way. And, you know, extracurricular hobbies and all of these activities, these things are on the bottom of the list. And when there's time, maybe we'll doppel in these things, but when there's not time, it's on the bottom of the list, and we have other shit to do, you know? It depends on the person.

Like for me right now, these sorts of activities are not on the top of my list. But at some point in my life, I can almost guarantee it will be. It's just not right now. Anyway, you guys, my brain is so exhausted from this. I don't know why, I don't know why my brain is so exhausted from this, I feel, dare I say, I feel wiped out. I feel wiped out right now.

That was exhausting, but I think in conclusion, you know, your main priorities in your brain are going to be shifting on a constant basis. And there's going to be a day where your list of top priorities are completely different than the next day. There are going to be years when your top priorities remain consistent for the whole year. There are pros and cons to having anything as a top priority. The moral of the story is you can't necessarily have your cake and need it to. You know, we're human. We can't give everything 100% all at once. But I think what we can do is try to strategically commit to certain priorities for certain chapters of our lives so that eventually we can reach a balance where maybe we can prioritize everything all at once. That might be a little bit too dystopian, but that's all I have

for today Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. I hope this was interesting if it wasn't okay Whoops, I appreciate all of you. I love all of you. Thank you for listening. I make episodes every Thursday and Sunday tune in I have a coffee company, chairman and coffee taking a sip. My cold brew is watered down because I didn't drink it fast enough, but we're dealing with that. You can use code AG15 for a little discount on ChammolineCoffee.com if you want.

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