anything goes with emma chamberlain - soulmates [video]

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

[video available on spotify] the concept of soulmates can be a relief to people, a nightmare, complete bullshit, or somewhere in between all of those things. everyone has their own unique perspective on the concept, and it's pretty rare to find two people who see it exactly the same. humanity as a whole has believed in soulmates for a very long time. though it's a very old concept, it has evolved to fit our current time. this isn't some sort of niche spiritual idea. this is very mainstream and even has sort of a trendy feel in some ways. so today we're going to talk about the concept of soulmates.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To some, the concept of soulmates is a relief. What a relief it is to know that there's someone out there that's perfect for me. What a relief it is to know that I'm looking for this person and they're looking for me and when we finally find each other, it's going to feel like the missing puzzle piece in my life has been found and everything's going to make sense and the connection is going to be electric and it's going to be obvious to the both of us and it's going to be magical and it's going to feel great. What a relief that is. And to some people, the concept of soulmates is a nightmare.

How terrifying is it to know that there's someone out there just for me and I can't guarantee that I'll even find them. Is it to know that there's someone out there just for me and I can't guarantee That I'll even find them What a nightmare it is to know that there's someone out there just for me and they might die Before I ever meet them What a nightmare it is to know that There's a person out there for me and they might get confused And choose someone else What a nightmare That there's a person out there for me and they might get confused and

Choose someone else what a nightmare and to some people the concept of soulmates is complete bullshit It's just complete bullshit Relationships are gonna come and go throughout your life Some of them are gonna be deeper than others But it's not anything more than that. And then some people fall somewhere in between all of those things, you know. I would say I'm one of those people. When you look up the definition of soulmate in the Oxford dictionary, you'll find that it says, a soulmate is a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. That was shocking to find because the word soulmate insinuates something so much deeper

in our culture today than what the Oxford Dictionary provides. The Oxford Dictionary basically says, it's just someone you feel close to. That is so broad. I feel like the majority of people look at the concept of soulmates and think of something much, much deeper, much more spiritual, much more kindred in a way. So I went on Wikipedia, because the Oxford, okay, listen,

the Oxford Dictionary is a very reputable source. Wikipedia, not as much, but I went on there anyway to see what Wikipedia's definition would be. And here's what I found. In current usage, soulmate usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner with the implication of an exclusive life-long bond. It commonly holds the connotation of being in the strongest bond with another person that

one can achieve. People who believe in soulmates commonly accept that one will feel complete once they have found their soulmate, as it is particularly in the perceived definition that two souls are meant to unite. Now that was the definition I was looking for because that's more in line with the cultural significance of the concept to me. I feel like the concept of soulmates is discussed a lot. You know, this isn't some sort of niche spiritual idea.

This is very mainstream. And it even has sort of a trendy feel in some ways. You know, people talk about finding their soulmate and there's something weirdly modern about it to me. And there's something weirdly modern about it to me. It feels like it's evolved to fit our current time. Though it's a very old concept. Apparently Plato, the ancient Greek philosopher, introduced the first known reference to something like a soulmate. He wrote at one point a long,

long time ago, each of us then is a matching half of a human whole. And each of us is always seeking the half that matches him. More all of that story, this concept has gone back far, okay? Humanity as a whole has believed in soulmates for a very long time, and it's still very much present today in its own modern way. It's safe to say that today the concept is polarizing, you know? Everyone has their own unique today, the concept is polarizing. Everyone has their own unique perspective on the concept. It's pretty rare to find two people who see it exactly the same. But regardless of that, it's a very relevant topic in society today.

And so I want to talk about it. We're going to talk about the concept of soulmates. First, let's discuss whether or not it's real. Are soulmates real? Well, it's really complicated. When I first started my research, I expected to find, no, you know, no, it's not a real concept. We don't know for sure that it's real. But the more I researched, the more I realized it's complicated. So there's two ways to look at the concept. From a spiritual perspective and from a scientific perspective,

let's first explore the spiritual perspective. OK. Soulmates show up in many different religions. But I've noticed that there's a general spiritual conversation around soulmates that is much less strict. It's much more fluid and sort of a combination of various different religions. There's a spiritual conversation happening outside of organized religions.

And it's much less organized, you know, it's kind of all over the place. Depending on what article you're reading, you're gonna read something a little different, right? It's very, very abstract. And that's because I think today a lot of people are Taking their own spiritual journeys and coming to their own conclusions Mixing and matching things from various religions that fit them the best

Make the most sense for their lives. I know I do that in my own way, right? But because people's spiritual Beliefs have become much more personal to themselves, it's much harder to find a super specific sort of explanation for soulmates. It's much harder to find specific criteria for soulmates from the spiritual Side of things because if you're looking outside of religion,

you're looking at just a bunch of people's guesses, you know what I mean? And the guesses are usually based on experiences, like what people have personally experienced in their lives, what they have witnessed, other people in their lives experience. And so arguably it's based on evidence, I guess, but it's not, it's still not necessarily backed by science.

But I guess it shouldn't be ignored and it shouldn't be disrespected because we don't know anything for certain, you know, just because something isn't backed by science, it doesn't mean it's completely impossible. I don't ever discount something as being bullshit just because it's not proven by science because there's a lot that we as humans can't comprehend. I don't know. I like to keep an open mind. So according to the more open-minded spiritual side of the conversation, more open-minded spiritual side of the conversation. Soulmates can look very different for everyone. You know, some people have just one soulmate.

Some people have many soulmates. Some people only have romantic soulmates. Some people only have platonic soulmates. Some people have both. Some say soulmates are sexually magnetic. Like when you meet your soulmate, you're going to really want to fuck them. And you're going to end you feeling, oh my god, I've never felt so sexually attracted to somebody. Again, some people say it's completely platonic at times.

And there's no sexual desire there at all. Some say you know you found your soulmate when you feel like you immediately connect with somebody on a deep and familiar level. Like when you meet your soulmate, you're going to feel like you're reconnecting with somebody that you've sort of known before. Like you know this person, but yet you don't, because you just met them for the first time. But you're gonna feel like you're reconnecting with somebody again, like it's not the first time. Some people say that that feeling comes from reincarnation,

the fact that we have lived multiple lives before. And so some people believe that your soulmate is the same person in this life that it was in your past life. And that's why, you know, you feel this unusual familiarity with your soulmate. Some believe that you'll know you met your soulmate because you met at the perfect time and that looks different for everybody but it feels like divine timing

played a role in your meeting and you know that's not a coincidence that's a soulmate, right? Some believe that you'll know you found your soulmate because you'll always be on the same page with this person. You're aligned in all areas of life your goals your emotions your spirituality etc And you may be on the same page to a point that you even have psychic connections with this person, you know, you can read each other's minds You don't even have to communicate always externally. You can communicate just through this kindred deep understanding. And that type of connection is so rare and so special that it must be the concept of soulmates

at work. Some also believe that you found your soulmate because they align with you in all the right ways, and then they don't align with you in all the right ways. You're perfectly balanced with this person. You have enough in common to relate to each other and to be aligned on a deep level, but you're different enough to where you can teach each other things. And that balance again is so rare that it must be the concept of soulmates at work. The sort of proof of soulmates from a spiritual perspective is more based on finding a really rare connection. You know, it's not based on science.

It's based on how rare and special something feels. And I don't immediately want to discount that as bullshit or attaching a fancy word to something that's just human, you know. Because maybe there is something deeper that we don't quite understand. I sort of understand why some people look at this as proof in a way, because I personally have soulmates in my life. If I were to, you know, fully lean into the spiritual side of this concept, you know, I would have soulmates because I definitely have relationships with people that feel different, you know. I'll give an example. There's one person in

my life who I'm thinking of specifically. Now, this is a platonic relationship. This is almost like a soulmate big sister. I met this person at a divine time. They met me at a divine time. We both have helped each other grow in so many different ways. I've never had a sisterly bond with somebody like I do with her. It's so fascinating. It's actually fascinating. And that relationship to me is so unique and so special

that I have a hard time believing that it's nothing more than just humans connecting because humans connect. Could that be the case? Maybe. But I have experienced a relationship that feels like more than just a relationship. Something know, there is something deeper is there. And obviously it's not tangible proof, but I don't know, it's not nothing. Now when we look at the concept of soulmates from a scientific perspective, there actually is a level of proof. Okay. It's not like science immediately comes out and says no, this is bogus

So according to science we as humans are technically wired to choose some people over other people that we like more Now our brains are wired to pick someone out of a crowd and say, I like that person. I want to be close to that person. I connect in a different way to that person.

There is a part of our wiring in our brain that does that. That's why we all have unique tastes in friends, in romantic partners, because we're wired to do so. We don't just choose anyone to be friends with. We don't just choose anyone to date. There's something deeply inside us that gives us the ability to choose the people that we like the most.

And it's not completely random. According to some studies that I read about, appearance plays a role, like we just sort of have preference when it comes to appearance. Smell plays a role. Someone's smell can be very appealing, and then also very not appealing to us. And that can actually change the way that we click with a person. And to my understanding, it's not even necessarily something that we consciously do. But I actually have personal experience with this because when someone I know in love For gets to put on deodorant and I really smell their natural smell when I really love them

It's not gross to me like it's not as gross to me Like I'm not like you like I'm not like offended. You know what I mean whereas sometimes Someone's body odor can actually offend me a little bit. Now it never deeply offends me, okay? I'm not like, ew, this person sucks, fuck this person. Because they forgot to put on deodorant or because they don't like deodorant

and because they want to own their natural smell. Like, I'm able to sort of shut off that side of my brain that sort of gets offended, but I think we all sometimes get a little bit offended by someone's body odor. Like if it is really pungent, I don't know, it's not always, it can be kind of upsetting at times, right?

But when you really love someone, it can be much less upsetting, which is so bizarre, you know? And actually, my current boyfriend told me a story recently about how when we first met, like around the time that we first met, we had a pool day. And obviously, when you're at the pool, all your deodorant washes off, okay?

I'm normally really good about constantly having deodorant and constantly having perfume on, because I just don't like smelling, like podiodotly, it bothers me personally. Some people doesn't bother them. That's great. Do your thing. Do you love you?

Me? Don't like it. Do not like it. Okay. But this one day, you know, we swim around in the pool, got out, tan for a little bit, and I started to smell a teeny bit, right? And he smelled it a little bit. So started to smell a teeny bit, right? And he smelled it a little bit,

so bare, and it's not embarrassing, but it's in retrospect of like, cringing. He didn't bring it up in the moment, but more recently, he brought it up, you know, years later, and he was like, I knew that I really had serious feelings for you because the smell wasn't gross to me. Like, it was just kind of like, oh, and then I sort of look back at my, I mean, I was like, that's so true. So I think the smell thing definitely plays a role, but I went on a whole fucking tangent about that

that I didn't need to go on. According to science, we also choose specific people to be friends with, to have relationships with based on similar brain patterns. Now, this is also something that we aren't consciously aware of, but some studies have been done taking two people who are in a close relationship, romantic or not. Their brain patterns were looked at and they have similar brain patterns. Now, we don't obviously have awareness about our brain patterns.

We don't know, but subconsciously, we connect with people who have similar brain patterns to us. And so it's not like we just choose people at random. You know, we are more deeply compatible with some people more than others, which sort of add some legitimacy to the idea of soulmates, not necessarily on a spiritual level, but on a scientific level. Like, yeah, we're much more compatible with some people based on various factors. Science can prove that we have the ability to choose some people over others, and science can prove that we'll have deeper connections with some people versus others based on certain variables.

But what's also interesting is how science kind of rejects the idea that we only have one soulmate. The science world believes that we can have many soulmates. If we look at soulmate by the Oxford Dictionary definition, a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. If we look at it from that definition, and then we look at it from the science perspective, we can have a whole lot of soulmates. Our ability to choose a close friend or an extremely compatible, significant other, and our ability to put those people on a pedestal and see them as more special and more deeply connected to us is not limited. Okay, we can feel this again and again and again and again throughout our lives.

Because from the scientific perspective, your soulmate is somebody who you're just deeply compatible with, but it has nothing to do with one specific person being your missing puzzle piece. That's where the scientific perspective differs from the spiritual perspective. A lot of people view soulmates as being like, you're missing peace. Science doesn't really vibe with that. But I think it's safe to say, we can't prove or disprove the concept of soulmates as a whole because there are so many different ways to look at it and we don't really know anything for sure.

You know, so I guess whether or not the concept is real doesn't really matter because it's just a little too complicated. You know, there's no conclusion. I think what is productive to look at is how the concept impacts society as a whole because I do think that the concept of soulmates has had an impact on society. And I think it's had a positive and a negative impact. And I think if we're able to look at how it's positively impacted us and how it's negatively impacted us, we can form our own unique perspective on the concept to best suit our lives in a way that's healthy and productive

and not harmful and destructive, right? I don't think it's a positive or negative concept. I think it's up to you how you wanna look at it. And I think it's something to sort of dig deep on because whether we like it or not, the concept has really impacted the way that we perceive relationships. And relationships are some of the most important things in our lives. So I find it important to analyze this topic because it plays a role in how we perceive

one of the most important pieces of our lives relationships. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Life is full of crossroads and a lot of times it's very unclear which path is best. Maybe you're considering a career change, a relationship change, the best way forward looks a little different for everybody. And we have to figure that out for ourselves. In therapy can help you do that. I can't even express how much talking through issues has helped me throughout my life.

I'm someone who heavily relies on talking with others to help me get through a challenge, whether it's just getting something off my chest or it's getting advice from somebody who is wiser than me about something, talking through challenges can be so beneficial. And no matter who you are, therapy can be a great option. It gives you somebody to talk to who isn't directly involved in your life and has no bias.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule, just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a credentialed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Visit BetterHelp.com slash anything today to get 10% off your first month. That's better aglp.com slash anything. Tap the banner or visit this episode's page to learn more. So let's discuss the positive and negative impacts the concept has as a whole. Let's start out with the positives because I think there are actually less positives.

Not to say that, not to sort of take value away from the positive impacts, but there are definitely less. So, I think the concept of soulmates inspires us to find deep, healthy, and meaningful connections with people in a really positive way. The concept of soulmates comforts us in a lot of ways, gives us hope in a lot of ways that there are people out there for us. There are people out there that we can form deep connections with. And I think that this is important now more than ever, because we all fall into moments of loneliness

in our lives. We all fall into bad relationships in our lives. And during those moments, we can sort of lose hope. And that is not good, right? Because the truth is whether soulmates are real or not, there are so many people on this planet, and there's so much potential for deep connection that I think the fact that the concept of soulmates inspires us to keep that hope is positive to me. Anything that inspires us to keep searching

for those connections is positive to me. Because there's been moments when I've lost hope, whether it's in platonic relationships or romantic relationships, there have been times when I've lost hope. And I've been like, I don't know if I'm ever going to find friends that understand me. I don't know if I'm ever going to find a partner who truly

values me as much as I value them. And those moments have felt so lonely and so heartbreaking. And in those moments, to have a belief in something like the concept of soulmates, it inspires you to get back out there and keep looking. And I just think that that's a really good thing. Next, I would say the concept of soulmates gives us as humans a pedestal to put special relationships on. You know, it gives us a fancy word to use for the most impactful relationships we have in our lives. And I don't think that that's good for nothing because there's something satisfying for us about putting various pieces of our lives into categories.

You know, like, oh, these are our goals. These are our soulmates. These are our morals. These are our values. These are our deal breaker. Like, we like to put things into categories. We like to organize things. You, we like to organize things, you know, it makes us feel in control, it makes us feel satisfied, you know. And so having

this category for special relationships makes us feel more organized in our lives in a weird way. Like, oh, this certain group of people or this one person falls into the category of soulmate. And there's something relaxing and relieving about that. But there's also now this designated pedestal that we can celebrate in a weird way. Like, oh, this is the group of people or the person in our lives that fall under the category of soulmate. And that relationship deserves to be celebrated more than the rest. And I think that there's some value to that because whether you believe in the concept of soulmates or not, we all have people in our lives that are more impactful than others

and have brought so much love and value and friendship into our lives, that those relationships deserve to be celebrated more than others, naturally so. And it's important to celebrate those special types of connections, you know? So I feel like the concept inspires us to figure out who those people are and celebrate them. And not to me, I think is somewhat beneficial.

I think it is beneficial, actually. And last but not least, I think the concept of soulmates inspires us to work harder to preserve those special relationships. Instead of just giving up, the word soulmate has so much weight to it that if we believe someone in our lives is our soulmate, we might work harder to preserve those relationships because we feel like they're worth fighting for. Now, obviously this can get complicated because it's like, okay, well, what if you think somebody is your soulmate

and then they do something really wrong? You know, you shouldn't just enable someone to do something wrong, totally. But a lot of times we throw relationships away, especially romantic ones. I would say especially romantic ones, we can throw relationships away because we don't

want to grow at times. You know, a relationship is kind of forcing us to grow or else it's going to end and we don't want to grow. So we just end it. Sometimes we end relationships because we're dealing with our own challenges and we don't feel like we have the emotional bandwidth to stay in the relationship. Sometimes those types of things are a true sign that a relationship should end, but sometimes there are incredible moments for growth in oneself. And I think it's always worth a try, right? And I think trying to push through the challenges of relationships is what makes them such

incredible learning and growing opportunities. And sometimes we get scared and we just want to leave the relationship instead of seeing if it could be a learning and growing opportunity. And so I think the concept of soulmates inspires us to stay in it and keep trying when not all is lost and nobody's done anything too bad. And I think trying to fix things is important. Whether or not things get fixed, whether or not you're any other's lives forever things is important. Whether or not things get fixed, whether or not you're in each other's lives forever,

is less important. It's more about feeling determined to try because you believe this person is your soulmate and they're worth fighting for. And what you end up finding on the other side of that varies, but you get what I mean. I think fighting for special relationships is a lost art at times.

I don't think, I don't know, I just, I think especially young people date with unrealistic expectations. I mean, not just young people, but I just know because I'm in my own generation that a lot of young people are not willing to fight for relationships. Like the second there's like a disagreement. It's like, okay, we broke up and I understand it because you know when you're young

it's like, ah fuck it. Like there's's someone out there I'll click with better but relationships are never perfect and I think a lot of young people expect perfection from their relationships and they're never going to find that and I think the concept of soulmates at least can potentially inspire people to at least try to make things work before they walk away, if there's still potential left. Now, let's discuss the negative impacts the concept has because it definitely has its negative impacts on myself included. I think the sole-mate criteria can negatively infect your brain. You know, there's all these things that you're supposed to feel and experience in the presence of a soulmate.

And who's to say how accurate that really is? Everybody's so different and every experience in life is so different. There are no two experiences in life that are exactly the same. So you might go online and Google, how do I know I'm at my soulmate and you might read through the criteria and then go and look for that in your own life. Chances are you're never going to find exactly that because everybody's experience is so different. And also, what if you meet somebody who could be a soulmate to you, but they only fit some of the criteria

in not all? Well, maybe it'll take time for them to fit all the criteria. The timeline is different for everyone. You might not immediately connect with somebody on a super deep level, but then after hanging out a few times, you do. It just took a little extra time for everyone to open up. What a shame it would be to throw away potential just because it didn't meet abstract criteria immediately.

Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense. I don't know. I think sometimes these sort of abstract concepts can lose their abstract fluidness and can sort of solidify themselves in our brains as like a set of rules. When in reality, that's not what makes the concept beneficial. When something like this becomes too cut and dry in your brain, it can end up having the opposite effect. Instead of you finding your soulmate, because you're so focused on what that looks like, you end up putting yourself in a box and not creating an experience that's unique to you.

When you're looking for something so specific, you end up failing to see something else that might not fit the exact criteria of a soulmate, but is exactly what you want. You might miss something when you're looking too hard for one specific thing that looks one specific way. I also think the concept of soulmates can set unrealistic expectations. There's a lot of rhetoric going around about how when you meet your soulmate, it's gonna feel automatic. It's gonna feel like you're meeting an old lover or an old friend, it's gonna feel calm and kindred

and it's gonna, you know, it's gonna, that may not necessarily be true. Like, when I first met one of my best friends who I believe now is one of my platonic soulmates, when I first met this person, like it didn't feel like I was meeting an old friend, at all. I had no idea how important this person was going to be in my life.

It took time for us to open up to each other, but I don't think that that takes away from the connection that we have today. Like the expectation that you're immediately gonna connect with your soulmate is unrealistic. But beyond that, with a lot of the soulmate criteria that you read about online, there's a lot of unrealistic statements going on, okay?

Like the fact that you and your soulmate of unrealistic statements going on, okay? Like the fact that you and your soulmate should be able to read each other's mind. You and your soulmate are constantly going to be on the same page. You and your soulmate are gonna be constantly balanced energetically, emotional, spiritual. I just don't know if that's possible. I don't think I've ever, ever met anyone

who has a relationship like that. It's painfully unrealistic, and if you're looking for that, you're gonna end up throwing away so many great relationships. But also, I don't think you should want to be perfectly aligned 100% of the time because where's the room for growth?

You know, when you're not aligned with somebody or you're in a relationship with, there's room for one party to grow. That's where the growth comes in. Growth can also come in when, you know, one person has wisdom that the other person doesn't. And that's great. But also learning comes from one person going astray a little bit. And then the other person being there to help them get back on track. I don't know. I just, I feel uncomfortable with the expectations that the concept sets at times. Because I think it sets people's expectations to an unrealistic level, and they end up alone because they

can't find a relationship that fits that criteria. I also think the concept of soulmates makes heartbreak, much more painful and scary. When you believe that you only have a set few people on this planet that you connect with, or even more extreme, just one person that you're going to connect with on that deep level. If that relationship doesn't work out the fear and the pain that comes with that is so much more catastrophic. Depending on how you perceive the concept, heartbreak can become catastrophic. And I think that is unnecessary.

Heartbreak is already brutal enough. The last thing we need is to feel like we lost something that was one of a kind. Yes, our individual relationships with individual people are one of a kind, simply because only you two individuals can have that relationship, it can never be duplicated. But the fear that you'll never feel a deep connection again is irrational. It really causes devastation that I think is unnecessary because according to science

literally, you can feel that way over and over and over again. We're wired to be able to feel that way over and over and over again. We may never feel it again with that person, but it's more than possible to feel that again with someone else. And so I just think depending on how you view the concept of soulmates, it can make heartbreak way scarier and way worse and way more painful. But it depends, because I actually think for some people it could make it less scary.

If you believe that you have a lot of soulmates, then it's not really scary. If you believe you only have one, it can be a catastrophe, right? In last but not least, I think the concept of soulmates can make you blindly trust a relationship and blindly accept a relationship or what it is. If you convince yourself that who you're with is your soulmate, you're going to question a lot less.

You're going to analyze it a lot less. And relationships require constant analysis, constant questioning, constant re-evaluating. You never want to be too comfortable in a relationship. You want to be constantly analyzing their behavior, your own behavior to make sure that everyone's doing what they got to do to keep the relationship in a healthy, happy place. I think the concept of soulmates sort of inspires complacency at times. You feel like, well, I found my person and now my work is done. I don't need to analyze this.

I don't need to deeply think about this. It is what it is. We found each other. We're soulmates. That's it. And a story. I don't think that that's healthy. Do we ever really know if someone is our soulmate? How often do we think someone's our soulmate and they're not? With all that in mind, we should constantly be questioning our relationships. We can think, yeah, this is my soulmate, but you never really know for sure. So, you should never stop doing the work in a relationship just because you think you found your soulmate. That's all I got. That's all I got for today, okay? I don't really know where I stand on the topic, you know? I definitely have some really special, really vivid, really kindred relationships with people

that feel completely different from any other relationship I have in my life. I have that. Do I know how to explain that? I don't. You know, is it scientific? Maybe? Is it spiritual? Maybe? The conclusion I've come to is it doesn't really matter. My priority is to maintain those relationships by nurturing them while analyzing them, not just letting the relationship float on by maintaining balance, even though the relationship is special and different, you know. Also being open to the fact that the relationship could end at some point. And if that's the case, that's okay and I'll find someone else.

And this applies to, by the way, for me personally, platonic and romantic because I think I have both types of soulmates. I'm also open to the fact that I could be wrong about these people. Like, I don't know. I try to be very fluid with it and very open-minded about it because I think that's the way that I keep it healthy. You know, I take positive impacts from the concept, apply that to my life, and avoid the negative. And that's all I can do. And I think when it comes to romantic soulmates, that's when things get a lot heavier for me personally.

Like, it's much easier for me to control my perspective on my platonic soulmates because I have many more of them, whereas I am a monogamous data, personally, and like, I don't know, like like it's much scarier to choose one person as your soulmate, whereas with friendships, it's like you can have 50 friend soulmates, very unrealistic, but you can have that. And it's not breaking a promise, whereas when you're in a monogamous committed relationship, you know, that means you're with that one person, right?

And so that's much more of a commitment. And that's where it's harder to keep a balanced perspective because there's so much more pressure on that. A lot of times with romantic partners, we start a family, moving together, combine our funds at times. Although I will be signing a prenup. No. No.

I don't believe in soulmates enough to not sign a prenup. I'll tell you that. That's what I'll tell you. My ass is signing a fucking prenup because I might think you're my soulmate, not for sure, not for sure. Not for sure, I might need to get a divorce. And I am not afraid of divorce. I'm afraid of thinking that I found my soulmate and being the wrong person. I'm afraid of not signing a pre-nut. So watch out for that.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, it's much harder to have a balanced perspective and to have a balanced relationship. I'm afraid of not having a divorce. I'm afraid of not having a divorce. I'm afraid of not signing a pre-nut. I'm afraid of not signing a pre-nut. So watch out for that. Anyway, where was I?

Oh, well yeah, it's much harder to have a balanced perspective on the concept of romantic soulmates because there's so much more pressure on it, but what I try to do is just believe in whatever I'm feeling at the moment. You know, if I feel like somebody's my soulmate in the moment, go with it. If at some point I don't feel like

they're my soulmate in the moment. Go with it. If at some point I don't feel like they're my soulmate anymore, okay. That's the perspective I tried to keep because it allows me the freedom to change my mind. And there's something so scary about saying, this person's my soulmate and then later being like, wait, I don't think I was right. And then feeling like, oh fuck, I'm frozen here. I've been telling everyone this is my soulmate,

and now I'm not so sure, and now I'm scared because everyone's gonna like judge me, and how could I have been so wrong? And maybe I'm wrong, and maybe they actually are still my soulmate. So I should stay in this, even though it's really unhealthy and not working out for me. And I've been trying to fix it, but it's not fixing and I just don't know what to do. Do you see what I'm saying?

You have to keep an open mind for it to be healthy, I think. And that is a tough reality because it's so much easier to just be like, I found my soulmate, I'm done. But you can't, you can rarely responsibly come to that conclusion. That's all I have. That's it. That's all I come to that conclusion. That's all I have. That's it. That's all I have to say today.

I hope that you all enjoyed. I really enjoyed. I had such a phenomenal time with you today. Tune in every Thursday and Sunday, new episodes of Anything Goes. Stream and watch video episodes on Spotify. Stream to listen anywhere you stream podcasts, follow anything goes on Instagram and anything goes

to keep up, follow me on Instagram and Emma Chamberlain to keep up with me as an individual. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, to pick up coffee and tea related goodies. I'm drinking a little latte today, iced latte today in an extra large, not extra large, large mason jar, okay, super cute, it's totally melted because I didn't touch it the whole time, I recorded,

but whatever. If you want to know a blend I'm using, I'm using the Chamberling Coffee, early bird blend, it's the light roast, it's probably my favorite, and I shouldn't say that, but it is, if you want to to ChamberlainCovvy.com and get a little discount, use code AG15, get a little discount, follow ChamberlainCovvy

on Instagram and at ChamberlainCovvy. That's all I have for today. I really appreciate you all listening and coming to Hangout, it is always so much fun. Yeah, all right, I guess I'll talk to you soon. Love and appreciate you so much and talk to you soon. Love and appreciate you so much. And talk to you soon, okay? Seriously.

Okay, talk to you later. Love you.