anything goes with emma chamberlain - the fear of missing out [video]

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

[video available on Spotify] i had fomo recently. what is fomo? fomo is the fear of missing out. it's probably not an unfamiliar feeling to you as i assume most people feel fomo at least once in their life. the more expanded definition of fomo is anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media. i thought that i was done experiencing fomo. i thought i grew out of fomo. i thought i had evolved past the point of experiencing that feeling, but i was wrong.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I had FOMO recently. What is FOMO? FOMO is the fear of missing out. It's probably not an unfamiliar feeling to you, as I assume most people feel FOMO at least once in their life. The more expanded definition of FOMO is anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media. I thought that I was done experiencing FOMO. I thought I grew out of FOMO. I thought I had evolved past the point of experiencing that feeling, but I was wrong. I was wrong.

And I was bummed out about this because I actually grew up with a really intense sense of FOMO. Growing up, middle school and high school, I always felt like I was missing out. I always felt like I wasn't at the best party. I always felt like I wasn't at the coolest hangout. I always felt like I was missing something constantly. And it was actually an issue. I don't think I realized it in the moment, but in retrospect, it was an issue. I don't think I realized it in the moment, but in retrospect it was an issue. I was so

focused on what I was possibly missing that I Rarely lived in the moment when I was in middle school and high school Do I think I wasted my teen years? No Because there were definitely moments that I lived in the moment, you know? I had fun here and there.

I learned a lot from my flawed teenage mindset. I wouldn't be who I am today without it, but I did spend a lot of that time in my life feeling like I was missing out. I was always so desperate to have fun experiences and to be included. But I also think a lot of young people feel this way because young people are so vulnerable and insecure because they haven't quite figured out who they are yet, although adults struggle with that as well. But I think when you're a teenager or a kid, you're especially vulnerable.

You especially don't know who you are. You might still not know who you are as an adult, but you definitely know a little bit more than you do when you're a teenager or a kid. I don't know, I think you seek approval less and less as you get older. You seek less acceptance as you get older and older. You're more content, hanging out with your close circle,

hanging out by yourself. Your ego doesn't get as boosted by being included. I don't know. I just think the more mature you get, the less you get fomo, because you're less vulnerable and insecure. vulnerable and insecure. Although I will say, as with all things, there are still some adults, unfortunately, who have this sort of immature mindset around what their identity is, and their identity is still built on what kind of cool stuff they do, whether or not they're included into the cool group, whether or not they do a lot of fun stuff.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, I guess they're still adults like that, but I would say in general, the older you get, the less you give a fuck about that stuff, the less you get FOMO, just overall the less that you care. I thought I had grown out of FOMO. I thought I was done getting it. Because over the past few years, I've had some really powerful realizations about the truth

of most situations. I feel like I've opened my third eye to seeing how the things that we think were missing out on are actually not so great after all. I'll give you an example. Growing up, I always used to look at things like Coachella or the MacGala, and think that if I were to go to those things and experience those things, that I would experience a new level of happiness, a whole new level of fun that I had never felt before. And although I've had fun experiences at Coachella or the MacGawa. They weren't as mind-bending as I expected them to be.

You know what I'm saying? Even those types of experiences that are so exciting, didn't unlock my brain to feeling this new level of fun that I'd never felt before. I think a big part of FOMO is feeling like, oh, if I could have this sort of experience, then I would feel something I've never felt before. I'd have more fun than I've ever had before. You expect so much out of the things that you have FOMO about. But in reality, if you actually were to go, you'd find that they don't live up to those expectations.

They might still be fun. They might still be a good experience. But chances are they're not going to live up to that expectation that you have in your head. And I realized that pretty quickly once I began my internet career and started to have these unusual experiences that I had had FOMO about my whole life, FOMO about going to different fancy events or going to music festivals or whatever it may have been. Once I had access to those things and I was able to go, I realized, wait a minute, I had been having FOMO about these things this whole time.

And I am having a good time here, but it's not as mind bending as I expected it to be. And I have had weird and unusual life experiences that I think have allowed me to come to this conclusion possibly sooner than some. Just, that's how my cards were dealt in a way. You know, I just was sort of handed these experiences that allowed me to come to that conclusion a lot sooner. But I think regardless, it's a rational conclusion to come to. I think a lot of people probably come to that conclusion a lot sooner. But I think regardless, it's a rational conclusion to come to.

I think a lot of people probably come to that conclusion in adulthood. But as much as I thought that I had grown out of FOMO and that I was done so, okay, no more FOMO for me, I learned that FOMO is kind of an illusion in my own head. I'm actually not missing out on stuff really. Like I am, like maybe a little bit, but not as much as I think I am, and it shouldn't torture me, and I don't care anymore,

and I'm too cool for that now. I don't get FOMO anymore. Ha ha, like no, I was wrong. So I got FOMO last week. Listen, I got FOMO because there was a big party in Los Angeles. It happens every year. It's not an event. Okay, it's not an event where there's like a red carpet and everybody, no. It's a party that is sort of secret, or not secret, but it's not secret at all. But how do I put this? It's not like the MacGala or like a red carpet event.

It's like a Los Angeles party. And I almost never go to L.A. parties ever. But for the past few years, every year when this party comes around, I've gone. And it's kind of hard to get into, but I've always gotten in as a plus one. Although I think last year I actually got invited, which was, yay! But I've managed to get my way into this party for the last few years. But this year, the party comes around,

and I don't get in. Loo. Now, here's the thing. I didn't like show up at the door, but I like didn't get invited and couldn't find anyone who was invited, who I could be their plus one. I couldn't think of anyone, but here's a thing, okay. I've been to this party a few times,

and every year it's been, okay, it's been okay. It's not like, again, it's not that amazing of a party. It's not a life-changing party by any means. But it's one of the best that I've been to in LA. And that's not saying much because I haven't been to any good LA parties, okay? But this one's definitely the best. And every year, this has been the one big party

that I go to. And then that's it for pretty much the rest definitely the best. And every year, this has been the one big party that I go to. And then that's it for pretty much the rest of the year. And so, I was really looking forward to it this year because I was like, oh, it'll be so fun and interesting to get to go out and finally do a party thing. And then I didn't get invited. And even though I had been to this party before and knew that it was just okay, you know, it wasn't mind-bending I had the worst

FOMO The worst I was so fucking pissed and I'm so embarrassed like I'm so embarrassed to admit this I'm so embarrassed that I was pissed like I'm so embarrassed to admit this. I'm so embarrassed that I was pissed. It's actually embarrassing for me to admit. I didn't want to admit this, but I am because it's important for the sake of this episode to admit it. Was it fun?

I don't know. I'll never know. Were the last few years fun? They were all right. Was I telling myself that this year was probably going to be the best year and I was going to miss it? Yes. You know, I felt kind of a hit to myself a steam.

Not being invited to this party because I started to wonder, you know, wait, am I not cool enough to experience this party? Like, am I not fun enough to experience this party? Like, am I not fun enough to experience this party? Why am I not invited? I know that this is like such a shallow way to think, but I also know that this is something that we all experience, whether we think we've grown out of it or not. So, point made, continuing.

I did feel a little hit to my self-esteem. I won't say it was a hit to my ego because I don't know, I didn't feel like my ego was crushed by it. Maybe a little bit, honestly. But I think more it was my self-esteem just wondering what I bring to the room. You know, like, am I bringing enough to the room?

Maybe not because I wasn't invited to this party. And then the whole evening of this party, I was not enjoying myself. I was trying to ignore the fact that I wasn't invited to this party. I was trying to just live in the moment, because I actually had another sort of event that I was attending earlier in the evening. And so I was trying to enjoy this event that was earlier in the evening, but I was so bummed that I ruined my experience at this event,

just fixated on the fact that I wasn't invited to this party and that I was going to miss out on the party later that evening. I was so obsessed with it, I could not let it go and it ruined my evening. So that was my recent FOMO experience. And I learned a lot from it, but I'm not going to tell you the conclusions I came to after this experience until the end of the episode. Because before we get into that, let's dig into FOMO a little bit more, the sort of psychology around FOMO.

First, let's start out by discussing when FOMO happens. When do you feel like you're missing out? Number one, feeling excluded from your friend group. Let's say your friend group all gets together and they don't invite you. Pretty easy way to feel FOMO. Or maybe you're busy and you can't go hang out with your friend group, but they're all together and you're at and you can't go hang out with your friend group, but they're all together. And you're out of doctor's appointment. You couldn't go or you're on a family vacation and you couldn't go.

Very easy way to get FOMO. Because whenever you hang out with your big friend group, you know that you all have fun and you know you're missing out on these inside jokes and these memories and you know that they're all going to be talking about it and you're going to be left out and so you get FOMO. You can also get FOMO when you're on social media. This is huge. This is huge because social media is a FOMO machine. It's probably the biggest source of this feeling.

Because as we know by now, social media is a cherry-picked highlight reel of someone's life. So, they're showing the coolest moments, they're showing the hottest moments, they're showing the most interesting moments, and it's very easy going someone's Instagram and think, wow, they have the coolest, most dynamic life I've ever seen. I wish I was doing all the things that they're doing. Wait, where are they right now? I wish I was there.

How can I go there? What are they doing? Wait a minute. Are they all hanging out? What are they all doing together? Wait, why didn't I invite it? Can I come? You know, it's like, FOMO exists in every form on social media.

You might see somebody wearing an outfit and you feel like you're missing out on that trend because you don't know where they bought their clothes or maybe you're not in the mood to spend money on clothes right now or maybe you're not in a place to spend money on clothes right now. So you can't participate in that trend, but you see somebody else wearing that trend and

it gives you FOMO. Or maybe you see a bunch of kids hanging out doing stuff that seems fun and you wish you were friends with them and you wish you could go. It is an absolute FOMO machine. Social media is. I think that's one of the greatest reasons why it's so bad for our brains, is because it's a FOMO machine.

Every minute that we spend on social media is a minute feeling like we're missing out on something. Even if it's not someone that we know personally, we can still feel fomo about that person and what they're doing. We feel like we're missing out on the types of experiences that they're having because they're doing something more fun than we are at a given moment.

Even if we never had the chance to be invited because that's a celebrity that we don't know or an influencer that we don't know. We can still feel a FOMO, right? So that's when FOMO happens. I hate the word FOMO, actually. Sorry, brief interlude to complain about the word FOMO. My God, could it get more cringe? It's so fucking cringe to me. FOMO.

But it's so much easier than saying fear of missing out every time. That's kind of a mouthful. So we're going to have to roll with FOMO. But my God is it cringe. Next, let's discuss whether or not FOMO is a rational feeling. Is FOMO something that's actually rational and justified, or is it something that's irrational and of sort of figment of your imagination, a fabrication of reality in your mind, a false fabrication of reality in your mind. Which is it?

Sorry, my oven is beeping. I always decide to like pop food in the oven before I record my podcast, only when it's food that takes a long time to cook or whatever, but still now my oven's beeping. My podcast only when it's food that takes a long time to cook or Whatever, but still now my oven's beeping I'm not burning the house down I think FOMO can be rational and irrational. I think it's both. I think it's rational Because it is absolutely true that there are always fun things happening around you that you're not included in

You can't be everywhere all at once. And so naturally, even if you're doing something fun, there's always a chance that there's something even more fun right next door that you're not invited to. Even if you really love your car, there's always a nicer, cooler, more fancy car at the dealership a mile away.

Even if you love your outfit, there's always someone who's wearing an outfit that you think is cooler and maybe costs more money or maybe is more rare or something ridiculous like that. But you get my point. It's rational because it's true in a way. There's always something better around the corner, but you can't live like that. And we'll touch on that later, but I do think it's rational because it's definitely true in a lot of ways. I also think it's rational because we're constantly seeing FOMO inspiring things on social media. And rational because we're constantly seeing

FOMO inspiring things on social media. And now that we're on our phones all the time and we're constantly seeing it, we're constantly being fed stuff that makes us feel FOMO. So the chances that you're gonna feel FOMO every time you open up your phone is high. And rationally so, I would argue

because there are a lot of things on social media that are FOMO worthy. For example, when I see celebrities flying on private jets, yeah, maybe I get a little bit of FOMO. I mean, I don't know, I don't really any more, but I definitely used to. And it's not because now I have a private jet, okay, because let's be very clear.

Be very clear, I do not. Thank you. But that's valid to get FOMO about being jet. Okay, let's say this. Let's say you're flying to Europe, okay? Flying to Europe in a normal economy, airplane seat is so fucking uncomfortable. 10 hours, at least from Los Angeles,

flying from LA to say Paris is like 12 hours, right? Sitting for 12 hours in an upright seat is torture. I don't care what anyone says. That is torture. And let's say you're doing that. So let's say you open up your phone and you see a celebrity posing in front of their private jet. While you're sitting in coach in a tight seat, killing your back, yes, you're gonna feel FOMO a little bit.

You're gonna be a little anxious in a way because you're frustrated that you're not having that experience. It makes sense. It makes complete sense and it's rational. Or let's say all your friends are hanging out without you because you're at a doctor's appointment. Yes, that's a rational reason to feel FOMO because you know that your friends are fun

and you love them and you love hanging out with them. And you're bummed out that you can't be with them that day. That's rational. Now, let's talk about when FOMO is irrational because it also is irrational at times. This is because the majority of the things that we get phomo about are not as good as they look. And I talked about this earlier, but I'm going to expand on it now.

When talking about phomo, I would say, we tend to romanticize things in people that we don't know a lot about. We fill in the blanks with our imagination. There's a really good chance that the situations that you envy, that you have a film about are not as great as you think they are. A good example of this is when you have a crush on someone from afar, you know, you don't know them. You just see them across the classroom every day at school and you think they're really cute and you have a crush on

them. And months go by and you have a crush on them. And months go by and you never speak to this person. You just see them from across the room and you start to romanticize them and just think that they're perfect and you start to imagine them in your mind as being this sweet, smart, perfect person. And you fill in the blanks because you don't know what type of person they are. So in order for your brain to have a full picture of who they are in your mind, you have to fill in the blanks. The same thing happens with things that you get fomo about.

You know, you see a bunch of kids hanging out, it looks really fun. You're filling in the blanks in between the Instagram posts. You know what I'm saying? You're filling in the blanks based on the Instagram posts. You know what I'm saying? You're filling in the blanks based on all the clues that you have about what's happening there. But you don't really know because you're not there. There's a good chance that you could be there and be miserable and bored and want to go home. But it's impossible to know that when you're not there. So your brain is going to inflate these situations into

these big amazing things because you're not there to know otherwise. And it takes a lot of practice to train your brain to not romanticize these things. And instead to tell yourself that you will never know how fun or not fun it is unless you're there. And because there's no way to find out for sure, it must be let go. It takes a lot of practice to do that. But then let's play devil's advocate here. Let's say your FOMO is completely rational. You know, like actually the thing that you have FOMO about was actually the best day ever.

It was the best night ever. It's the best thing ever, whatever it may be. It's okay. Like, you're gonna have fun again. You're gonna enjoy something again. You're gonna have endless fun experiences in your life. If you miss them here and there, which you will, it's going to be okay. Your life is not ruined. There's so much more to life than the small little things that you get

FOMO about here and there. Is FOMO a good or a bad feeling? Let's discuss. I think FOMO is actually healthy and good at times, because I think it's healthy to feel in general. If you never experienced FOMO, if you never felt FOMO, if you were just constantly unbothered by everything, that would be really unusual. And I'm not going to say that that would be bad or wrong, but it might be, if you don't care about anything, that's not good. I don't think. I think it's good to care sometimes about this stuff because it's a sign that you're thinking about things, that you care about things. And I don't think that that's a bad thing. thinking about things that you care about things. And I don't think that that's a bad thing. I think feeling in general is good, no matter what the feeling is. But I think what can be bad is bad actions that follow a feeling.

You see what I'm saying? Like feeling something is good. Accepting that feeling is good. Accepting that feeling is good. Taking that feeling and doing something bad with it is bad. Taking something with that feeling and doing something good with it and productive, that's good. So I think actually feeling FOMO is not a bad thing. It's what you do after you feel that FOMO that can be bad. I would say a positive reaction to feeling FOMO is to maybe feel inspired by it, inspired to have similar experiences

to the ones that you fear you're missing out on. You know, let's say you fear that you're missing out on a party. Well, maybe you throw a party with your closest friends and you normally wouldn't have done that otherwise, but because you kind of felt like you're missing out on this other party, it inspired you to throw a party yourself and to make fun experiences for yourself. It can also inspire you to feel more social because if you feel like you're missing out socially, maybe it'll inspire you to make new friends that you wouldn't have made otherwise because you got inspired to be social. Maybe it inspires you to be grateful for what you have in the moment because I've had moments where I've felt phomo and then I've been like, wait a minute, I need to step back

and be grateful for where I am right now in this very moment. You know, I actually am having fun right now and I am around really good people and my life is good in a lot of ways, it's challenging in others, but it's really good in a lot of ways. So, you know what? I'm just gonna try to replace this feeling with gratitude. I think that's easier said than done,

but I don't think feeling FOMO has to be a completely bad thing, but it can be bad if when you get FOMO, you allow it to become an obsession and it completely prevents you from living in the moment. I think occasional FOMO is healthy, normal, and good. I think constant FOMO is a sign that there's some work that needs to be done in your life possibly. So how do we limit experiencing FOMO?

How do we experience FOMO rarely? I'm not gonna say that there's a way to never experience FOMO again, because I don't know if that's possible, but I do know some ways that you can limit the amount of times a year that you feel FOMO. So let's discuss those. Number one, I think it's so important to find things in your life that you can control that you truly enjoy because one of the biggest qualities of FOMO is that it's out of your control in a way. The thing that you think you're missing out on is

out of your control in the sense that you are scared that you're missing out because you can't be there. So everything that's happening that you think you're missing out on is out of your control. You can't get yourself put on a guest list of a party. You can't magically buy a private jet. You can't magically meet a group of 10 cool friends. It's nothing happens magically. You know what I'm saying?

How do I put this? You do what I'm saying. It's like you can't control those things that you have FOMO about. You can't always control what you're included in. But there are a lot of things that you can control that are really fun and really enjoyable. For example, it's so important to have a group of people in your life.

It doesn't need to be big, but just a group of people in your life that you enjoy spending time with, who are consistent. People who are always there for you, who don't exclude you, who always keep you in the loop, who never make you feel fomo. Because that's just not who they are. It's so important to have people like that. And I'm not saying that it's easy to find that because it's not. It's hard. But I think finding that is so powerful and can really help you not care about what other people are doing because if you have a really tight group of people around you, it can be friends, family, significant other, it can be whatever, but just having people around you

who you enjoy spending time with, who make you feel fulfilled and excited can help you not care as much about what everyone else is doing, because you feel satisfied with your social circle. And those people are in your control, that sounds so bad, but they're in your control in the sense that you have open communication with them. You know, you can hang out with them

whenever you both are available. And it's not like, oh, they're not gonna invite me to their big party, like big bummer. No, of course they would, you're like best friends or your family or you're dating or whatever, you're married, whatever it may be. Having those types of people around give you this sense of consistent inclusion. And so you always have a place where you feel included.

So you don't feel social fomo as often. Another fun sort of activity that you can control is little hobbies or activities that make you feel fulfilled. Like for example, for me, I love going to LA workout classes. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guilty. It's hot yoga for me. It's the bootcamp classes for me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, guilty, it's hot yoga for me, it's the boot camp classes for me. I'm sorry, I love them. That's one thing for me. Another thing would be different like little art projects, like I like drawing a little bit here and there or whatever.

I like playing the drums here and there. I have little hobbies and stuff that I can fill my time with when I have downtime that fulfill me to a certain extent. There's something empowering about having consistent things to fill your time with that are reliable because they help fill your time so you have less time looking around having FOMO. And you feel fulfilled doing the things that you're doing. So you don't feel as bummed out when you see other people doing things that look fun

or exciting because you're like, I'm actually satisfied with my life as it is. It might not be as grandiose as what I'm seeing on social media or what my friends are doing from high school, but it's right for me and it feels good for me. And I'm happy with what I'm doing. I also think it really helps to enjoy your alone time because I think FOMO is the worst when you're alone and if you can find ways to fill your alone time in a way that's satisfying, that is incredibly beneficial. I already kind of talked about that with this little hobbies or activities that are consistent and reliable and can be done anytime, anywhere.

But I also think that there's something to be said for kind of romanticizing your alone time in a way, finding little things that you only do in your alone that are so special, whether it's cooking, doing your skincare routine, organizing your house, making little arts and crafts, I don't know, it could be anything, but enjoying your alone time makes it so much easier to not feel intense fomo. But it's really hard to go from a place where you don't enjoy alone time to then enjoying alone time because it takes a lot of work and practice in a way and it's not easy at first. You can find yourself feeling incredibly bored and lonely and under stimulated.

But over time through practice and through boredom and through discomfort, you end up finding ways that you can fill your alone time that are so satisfying, but it does take time. But it's super empowering because feeling content on your own makes you feel like you don't need anything in a way. You're like, I don't need to go to parties. I don't need to be friends parties. I don't need to be friends with people who aren't good friends. I don't need to date somebody who isn't good for me. I don't need to do that because I can feel fulfilled on my own. Now, that's not to

say that you should completely be alone all the time and isolate yourself and not have social interaction at all. Absolutely not. But yeah, there's something really empowering about becoming comfortable alone. And it really does help with FOMO. I also think FOMO sort of digs into your self-esteem in a way. This happened to me with my recent experience with FOMO, okay? Not being invited fucked with myself a steam. I was questioning myself and questioning my worth in a lot of ways, which sounds far too deep for the situation I hand here, but it's true. I did feel weirdly unworthy, so unfortunate, but it's true.

But this was a huge eye opener for me because in retrospect, you know, a few days after my FOMO experience, I realized, I need to check in on myself a steam here because this shouldn't have taken a hit on myself a steam. It really wasn't personal. Like, me not being invited was not personal. Okay, let's be honest here. I don't even know the person whose party it is.

Like I don't even know that person personally. Okay, that's number one. That's ridiculous. Me being like offended by the fact that I wasn't invited when that person who throws a party doesn't know me is ridiculous. Like that shouldn't have affected my self-esteem because that person doesn't know me is ridiculous. Like that shouldn't have affected myself esteem because that person doesn't know me. So it's very clear that they're not not inviting me because there's something wrong with me. They don't know me.

Okay, so that's number one. Number two, me immediately coming to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me and that's why I wasn't invited, that's a sign that already subconsciously, I was struggling with my self-esteem, whether I realized it or not. And the truth is, I actually am struggling with my self-esteem a little bit right now. And I'm not actually exactly sure why yet.

I don't know if I've come to that conclusion yet. But yeah, I think upon reflection, I realized, yes, I am kind of struggling a little more than usual with my self-esteem. And I don't really know why. It could be because I don't like my hair. It also could be because I don't really feel connected. You know, when your mind and body don't feel

connected and so you sort of feel out of touch with yourself, you kind of feel out of alignment in a way. You just don't feel connected to your soul in a way. I don't know how to explain it. I might be feeling that a little bit. I think I am for what reason I don't know, but I did check in on myself a steam and realize, yeah, there is a little bit of work that needs to be done here. And maybe it's nothing serious. Maybe it's just normal phase of lower self esteem. Who knows? Maybe it's just here because it's here. There's no real big reason why we'll find out later. But later as in when I figure it out, but I think me not being invited to this party wouldn't have bothered me actually

if I was in a different phase of my life. If I was in a phase of my life where my self-esteem was more solid, I can tell you for certain, I would not have cared about this. I would have been maybe a little bit bummed out because it's like the one party I go to all year. And I would have been like, okay, well, no parties for me until next year.

Or maybe I'll just find another one. But anyway, you see what I'm saying? I maybe would have been a little bummed out, but I wouldn't have had FOMO. I wouldn't have felt like I was missing out. I wouldn't have had anxiety around it. I would have just been kind of bummed for a second and then been like, all right, and I would have moved on because that's normally how I am. But it's very clear that my self-esteem is suffering a little bit, which is normal.

I just kind of feel not so good about myself a little bit. So I think working on your self-esteem, addressing why you might not be feeling as confident and then sort of addressing it head on like let's say I Was struggling with my self esteem because I was in a period of burnout. Okay. I couldn't get any work done I couldn't do anything creative. I was spending a lot of time in bed That can sometimes affect myself esteem because I just feel like I'm not getting anything done and I'm a loser And that's what my brain's telling me. So let's say I was in a phase like that. Well, maybe I could figure out a way to do things

that don't make me feel more burnt out, you know, but are still productive in some way. And I could address it head on after figuring out what the problem was. I think that can be incredibly beneficial. I also think being mindful is so important. When you feel FOMO coming into your mind, you don't want to reject it and be like, no, I'm not supposed to be feeling that. That's wrong. I'm not supposed to be feeling that. But instead, you want to just let the thought come in and

you want to address it rationally. Okay, so let's say you're having FOMO because there's a huge music festival and all of these people are there, right? And they look like they're having so much fun. And you have FOMO. Think of the reality of the situation. Is the music festival really that life-changing for these people? Probably not. Is there probably a lot of drama happening at this music festival? Probably. Is it probably really hot and sweaty at this music festival? Probably. You see what I'm saying? Like, you can give yourself a little dose of reality if you're mindful about your fomo, and it'll just help you put it into perspective.

You can still admit to yourself that it would be fun if you were there. But you can also give yourself a little dose of reality about the potential flaws with the things you have foam about. And although this might not fully heal the foam, it might help a little bit because it's not healthy to lie to yourself on either end of the spectrum. It's not good to lie to yourself about how fun and event is and to put on rose-colored glasses and look at it like it's the best night ever or the best day ever or the best thing ever or whatever.

It's not good to look at the thing you have FOMO about and romanticize it. But it's also not good to look at the thing you have FOMO about and convince yourself that it's terrible and awful and bad. When in reality, it might be kind of fun. You need to find that middle ground where you're like, yeah, there's fun things about it possibly, but there's also probably not fun things about it too. Nothing is all sunshine and rainbows.

All things that are good come with things that are bad. And when you remember that, it makes FOMO a little bit less painful. In last but not least, stay off social media when you're feeling FOMO because it'll only make it worse. I already mentioned that earlier, but I'm just throwing it in here at the end to nail it home. If you are already feeling FOMO, let's say, you know, you didn't go to a party, right? You feel left out. The last thing you want to do is

go home and lay in bed and go on your phone and then get more FOMO because now you're seeing everybody else in the world doing other fun things on your phone. Don't do that. When you feel FOMO, take action in directions that avoid feeling more FOMO. Don't go on your phone. Don't do that. When you feel FOMO, take action in directions that avoid feeling more FOMO. Don't go on your phone, go in, call a few of your friends and go out to dinner, instead. You see what I'm saying? Take action in directions that will distract you and make you feel fulfilled in that moment. Going on social media and just scrolling around is just gonna make it worse. Mic drop, I just mic dropped.

I'm done zo, okay. Why did I see, oh my god, I said done zo twice today. I hit my done zo limit. No more saying done zo for me. But anyway, hopefully I don't feel FOMO for a while and hopefully you don't either because it's not a fun feeling. It sucks ass, but also when we do feel it again, which we will We'll get through it and hopefully we'll Come to a valuable conclusion from it. Anyway

Thank you all for listening. Thank you for hanging out. It was such a pleasure. It's always a pleasure. New episodes of anything goes, come out every Thursday and Sunday. If you want to keep hanging out with me, you can follow me on Instagram at

Emma Chamberlain if you want. You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. You can use code AG15 for a little discount if you'd like. And I will see you soon, and I'll talk to you later. Yeah.