anything goes with emma chamberlain - the real reason i moved to LA

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

After 2 years, Emma can finally share the wild (and scary) story that finally led her to move to LA. Plus, drama with her neighbors in the apartment complex she was living in, and questions on topics like how to judge if a person is right for you, how to approach toxic family members, and what’s the deal with so many older people being friends with younger people? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everybody, welcome back to anything. Go's, I'm Emma and I'm tired and I've been tired for like two weeks. Why, you may ask? Because it's foggy in LA. And when it's foggy in LA, I can't wake up. I can't wake up, I can't get out of bed. I can't work out, I can't cook. I can't clean. I basically break as a human being. And I don't mind it. I don't. But that's where I'm at. How are you guys? Good. I'm glad to hear that.

Unless you say something bad, then I'm so sorry. And I hope that ends soon. Um, and I hope you feel better soon. Anyway, I can't believe I'm finally telling the story. It's literally been three years of me holding on to the story until it was like safe to tell. But finally, I can tell this story. Um, so today I'm going to be telling the story of why I moved to LA. Obviously, I moved because it made sense career-wise, blah, blah, blah, but there was a specific event that made it almost safer for me to move to LA.

And so that's the story I'm going to be telling today. It's very, I mean, I don't know how great of a teaser that was because I don't know if that even made sense without context of what happened, but we're going to get into that story today. But not yet, because I have a few other things that I've been thinking about that I want to talk about first. Okay. Number one, I've been drinking iced tea recently.

What the fuck is going on? What's going on? Why, who, what is, I'm scared. I'm scared, but I have been ordering iced tea at coffee shops because I drink so much of my own coffee at home that when my friends are like, hey, let's go eat coffee. I'm like, I don't really want any more coffee. Like, I'm already had like seven cups today.

I'm of my own. I don't really want more. So then I've been ordering iced tea. I've been getting iced herbal tea. Alfred, I've been getting iced peach tea at Bluebottle. I've been getting iced herbal tea, which is just like kind of a, I don't even know, like chamomile peppermint blend. at BlueBottle, I've been getting iced herbal tea, which is just like kind of a,

I don't even know, like chamomile peppermint blend. I mean, and it's kind of delicious. I never liked hot tea, but like iced herbal tea is kind of fire. So, I don't know, I don't know, it's just something new I've been trying. So I just had to share that with you and kind of tell you the truth,

because I felt like a fake liar that I've been like drinking tea almost daily. And like, I just feel to share that with you and kind of tell you the truth because I felt like a fake liar that I've been like drinking tea almost daily and Like I just feel like you know, I have a coffee company. This is so off brand But you know, I also had a matcha phase back in the day, which now I hate matcha. So I don't know What happened or what came over me when I was having my When I was having my matcha phase, I don't know what came over me, but Now I'm drinking iced tea iced herbal my match of phase, I don't know what came over me, but now I'm drinking iced tea, iced herbal tea. I don't know, I don't know what's happening.

So that's that. That was thing number one that I wanted to just get off my chest. Yeah, was that it? God, see, so that's what's exciting to me these days. Is the fact that I just started drinking herbal tea. Like, that's the fucking most exciting thing that happens to me. Is that literally it?

Oh my God, I'm scared. Okay, I think that's it. Oh my God, that's so sad. Oh my God, that's so sad. Oh no, I had another thing. Okay. So since the pandemic began and everything shut down, I have saved so much money and my credit card bills have been so much lower. And I was sorry, I'm out of my mom. And I found out it's because I'm not going to work out classes anymore. I'm having to work out at home and I found a whole workout

routine at home and I wanted to share it with you guys because it's fucking free and I've been saving so much money. So for all of my friends out there that are into workout classes, I know it's fun, I know it's like a community thing, I get it, I'm probably gonna start going again once the pandemic ends if it ever does, because it's just like nice to be social and like go out and it's kind of more motivating because you're like in, you know, it's like a fun experience

and it's kind of a luxurious experience. But recently, I've been doing this. For cardio, I do sprints up and down my stairs. Okay. I know I looked down when I'm doing this. Like I know that if anybody ever saw me doing this, they'd be like, what the fuck? But finding a staircase,

it can be inside of your apartment building, it could be at a park, anywhere, find a staircase, it can be inside of your apartment building, it could be at a park, anywhere, find a staircase. And I've been doing this thing where I run up and down it five times. So like, running up and then back down, that's one. And I do that five times as fast as I can and then I rest for a minute. And then I do that like three times. And it's a great workout.

And it's a great workout and it's free. And then for the other half of my workout, I just do Chloe Ting workout videos for free. I'll do like one or two and sometimes I'll even do a little bit of jump rope. I do about a minute 30 of jump rope and I'll maybe do that three times, but that's if I have actually any energy

and recently I've had no energy to do anything. So the sprints up and down the stairs are enough for me. But I almost like it better than like going for a run because I'm in the safety of my own home. And it's like controlled. It's not like I'm running around a random area. Like if you find a staircase at a park, you're like, you can just stick to that one area

and you don't have to figure out where you're gonna run and like, I don't know. It's just, there's something nice about it. So that's what I've been doing. And I've been saving so much money y'all. Workout classes are a money suck. I didn't realize how much money I was wasting on it. So that's been cool.

So that's just like a little food for thought. Maybe just figure out a workout routine that works for you at home, because it has the same effects. And it makes you feel just as good, and right when you're done with your workout, you can just hop straight in the shower. You don't even have to leave your home.

So all you are probably like, yeah, I'm a duh, but listen, you haven't understand, I was addicted to Soul Cycle for a year and a half, which is a cycling class if you don't know. And so I was doing that every day, and it was a lot of money and a waste of money. So, that's our amount with that. Here's the story of the day.

Let's get into it. Let's get into the meat of this, right? Because whatever the fuck I just talked about for the past five minutes was a waste of both more times. Kind of all my burps. I've been burping so much. I've been burping and having gas. It's just like,

and it's the worst because whenever I'm around people, I'm just like clenching everything inside. The whole time, every time I'm with someone. And that's why I like to be alone because I can just burp, fart, poop, pee, do whatever I want, pick booger, whatever I want. I love being by myself. Anyway, we're gonna get into the story of today, which is why I moved to LA. This is basically half of the reason I moved to LA because the other half was like, because I wanted to and because everybody was here blah, blah, blah. But like, there was an instance that made me,

they kind of put me in danger that made me want to move sooner than I probably would have otherwise. I'll tell you the story. So I was living at my mom's apartment at the time. I had already tested out of school. I was out of school and I was just living with my mom in her apartment. And for some context about the way that her apartment was laid out, it wasn't the type of apartment that like had a lobby.

It was like the whole apartment only had four units. It was more of kind of a townhouse. So you could access our front door from the street, right? You didn't have to go up an elevator. You didn't have to go up an elevator. You didn't have to use a code like you could just walk straight up to our front door. So that was kind of the situation. And I felt pretty safe there. I mean, I never, I mean, well, there was a whole issue there with my downstairs and neighbors.

But that wasn't a reason why I wanted to move. But they were like, we were constantly arguing with them. I talked about this a little bit in my episode about money. Though my downstairs neighbors were not great. I mean, they were like scary, scary. Maybe I'll do a whole episode about my downstairs neighbors at some point. But that wasn't the reason I wanted to move. I mean, I normally felt pretty safe there. We had a few weird instances of like, you know, there was one time there's a guy that was like watching us through our big front window and that was kind of weird but we never

really did anything about that. Like, there was a few weird things, but this set me over the edge sent me over the edge So one night I'm editing in my room and I'd been editing for 10 hours so basically the whole day and I was definitely grumpy at this point emotional overworked blah blah blah and I was just in a terrible mood. And my mom and I were maybe budding heads a little bit. And so, because I mean not because we, like just in normal way,

but I think I just was hangry and like overworked and she was like, do you want me to get you dinner? I think she knew that that would solve every issue that we were having. And I was like, yeah, can you to get you dinner? I think she knew that that would solve every issue that we were having and I was like, yeah, can you go get me dinner? So there's my favorite burrito place right down the street and my mom was like, I'm gonna go run and get you a burrito and I'll bring it back and I was like, thank you so much.

I already feel like our relationship is improving just from that little gesture. So my mom leaves. And I continue working on my computer and I get a knock on the door and I'm like, ooh, I don't like that but I feel weird. But I ignored it because I was like, I don't need to answer it. Like my mom's not here. Like what do they want from me? I'm like, fucking 16 year old, like what do they want from me? I have nothing to give them. It's also at this point eight or nine p.m. What do you want from me? No.

So I decided not to answer it. And then they knocked again. And I was like, hmm, I don't really like that. And I was like, you know, I'm just gonna ignore it again. Like, I, whatever, the door is locked. I locked it when my mom left. I'm just gonna ignore it. So I go back to my computer again,

and I start working again. And about 15 seconds later, I get a knock, and they're on my doorbell. And I'm like, if I just act like I'm not here, they're gonna have to leave eventually. But what the fuck are they doing? And I don't know who, I'm like, who is this? And I'm like, is it my mom?

So I call my mom and I'm like, someone's banging on the door. Like, what's going on? And she was like, I don't know, honey. Like, just ignore it. And I was like, OK, but there's someone banging on our front door, like, over and over. They're not leaving.

She's like, oh, look. So basically, the way that my apartment was laid out, you could see my front door from my mom's bedroom window. So because the building was kind of in a curve, it was kind of in a U-shape, right? So like from my mom's room, I could see the front door. So I look out the window and it's this woman

and she's just like standing there waiting and she was wearing kind of a funky outfit and I was like, but I didn't really get much of her what she looked like, right? I just could kind of see like a basic outline of what she looked like. But I got so scared that instead of even like calling the police, I just went into my mom's closet and I texted my mom like you need to get home right now.

And she was like, okay, at this point, I'm hysterically crying in my mom's closet because I'm like, what is this woman doing? Like this is so scary. Whatever, my mom's, luckily like five minutes away. The knocking in the banging on my door continues for about another minute and a half. I'm just in the dark in my mom's closet, shaking, and then by the time my mom got home, she was gone. And I'm like telling my mom this shit is not okay. I'm like, I am so scared. What the fuck does this lady want from me? Is she trying to kidnap me?

What the fuck is going on? My mom was like, it was probably just like some weird like one-off thing, like who knows what she wanted, but like, it probably won't happen again. I was like, okay, I eat my burrito, I go to sleep, blah, blah, blah, the next day. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only

one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the state farm mobile app, or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Call or go to stateform.com for a quote today. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's in all in one place to make an online space that's entirely your own. Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point. Then add whatever you need to show off your ideas to get your side hustle on. You've got all the tools you need to sell products, schedule appointments,

and send email campaigns to your mailing list. Plus, everything is optimized for mobile, so it looks just as good on a phone as it does on a desktop. Check out Squarespace.com for more features and inspiration, and when you're ready to build your site, use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so now, fast forward to the next day. So I have a neighbor to the left of me. The neighbor under me, I have beef. The neighbor to the left of us, I love. So it's the next day and it's like during the day

and my mom runs into that neighbor and she has a conversation with her. And she had actually seen the whole thing go down and was like very weirded out by the whole thing. And she said that she was watching it from her window as well. And she was like, I was wondering like what happened? Like that's so weird. And so then she was like, if this happens again, Emma,

just give me a call because I'm over here and like I'll come out and I'll rip her a new one. I'll tell her to get the fuck off of the property. Like, don't worry, I got your back. She was kind of that type of girl, you know? She was very like badass, kind of scary. Like you don't want to fuck with her. I think she was from New York, that type of thing.

So a firecracker, right? So I felt safe knowing that if my mom were to leave again, I would have her there fast forward to later that night. I had been editing all day again. And my mom was like, I'm gonna go get dinner. Is that okay? I was like, yeah, it's fine. I'm just gonna be on my computer for the next fucking 12 hours. It's fine. But I was also like, wait a minute, you know what happened last night.

Should we maybe not do this? She was like, no, I think it's fine. And I was like, yeah, I think you're right. I think it's probably fine. I was hesitant. I had a bad feeling about it, but I was also like, I know I have my neighbor next door that I can trust. If something weird happens, she'll come out and rip a manoeuon.

It's fine. Okay. So my mom leaves for dinner. Exactly three minutes after my mom leaves, I get a bang on the door. I'm losing my mind at this point. One knock on the door and I fucking start balling my eyes out and hyperventilating, I'm freaking out because I realize that this woman is watching and waiting

for my mom to leave. And the second that my mom leaves, she's banging on the door. Because it's way too much of a coincidence that both evenings, a few minutes after my mom leaves, this woman comes to my front door and starts banging on the door. That is not a coincidence. Nobody can tell me that that's a fucking coincidence.

I'm freaking out at this point. I text my mom. I'm like, it's happening again. My mom's like, call the police. I call my neighbor first because I'm like, the neighbor is gonna get here quicker than the police ever could. Like, so I call my neighbor.

I'm like, are you home? She's like, no. I'm like, fuck, fuck. What do I do? My neighbor below me hates me and wants me dead. So there's no way I can call her. I'm the other unit. The fourth unit in our building is empty at the time. I'm freaking out.

Freaking out. I call the police. They don't answer. This is not a joke. I call my hometown's police department because instead of calling 911, I was like, I'll just call the St. Croix Police Department because they are gonna be able to react sooner than like 911 that they have to connect you and all shit. The police department

doesn't answer. Mind you, this lady is banging on my door, ringing my doorbell over and over again. I'm bawling my eyes out. I think I'm gonna die. I'm like, this is the end of me. Like she's gonna break in somehow and kill me. This lady is being so aggressive, banging on my front door. She knows I'm here. Why, what does she want from me? What is going on?

Why is she waiting for my mom to leave? All these thoughts are going through my head. I'm, I literally thought I was going to die. I've never hyperventilated that hard in my life. I was ready to die. I was thinking of a way to escape my apartment. I was like, I can climb out on the deck and I can climb onto the roof. Like, I was thinking about every scenario. And I was like, if I need to get out of this apartment and climb onto the roof, I fucking will. And I like, I don't care.

So I'm like, thinking about all of that. Actually, in retrospect, from my deck, I could have climbed onto the roof. And that would have, I could have climbed onto the roof. And that would have, she would have never found me there. So that's something to think about. I didn't think of that then. I was thinking about going onto my deck and climbing onto the lower part of my roof, but there was like an upper level,

like the very top of the building, and I could have climbed up there. So, I don't know, food for thought, but anyway, I'm losing my mind. I get on the phone I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night.

I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. I'm not even in the middle of the night. Two nights in a row, once my mom left, and y'all think this isn't some fucking kidnapping situation? Like, y'all are dumb, y'all are very dumb. At this point, I just got in a following, right? Like I just started becoming known on YouTube.

And I was like, what if they wanna hold me hostage and like make it a viral thing? Like, I'm like, I don't know. Because I've never experienced fucking any type of eyes on me besides like doing a science presentation in third period. Like that was the most attention I'd ever received. So I was like, is this part of gaining followers on the internet?

Like is this person trying to steal me and hold me hostage? Like that's where my mind's going. The police take forever to arrive. Meanwhile, I'm curled up on the floor in my room, bawling my eyes up, listening to this woman, violently bang on the door. She banged on the door for 10 minutes. And it took 10 minutes for anyone to show up.

Meanwhile, I'm texting my parents. I'm texting my neighbor. I'm like, it's not stopping. She's not giving up. I'm being so quiet so that she thinks I'm not home. I was whispering everything so she didn't think I was home. I'm terrified and I know it seems like I'm overreacting, but she wasn't just knocking on the door.

This woman was banging on my front door with a fist, with the side of her fist. She was not being gentle and she's holding down my doorbell was very loud. It was the type of doorbell where you press on it and it goes, eh, very 80s, okay? Also mind you, I have no security system. I have no like, you know, crazy double lock on my door. Like I had a chain lock on my door, along with the key lock.

Like it was like very, I just, I thought I was going to die. My mom rushes home, obviously at this point, because I'm hyperventilating. The police arrive at the same time as my mom, and they both talk to her. And they're like, what are you doing here two days in a row? And she's like, Oh, I'm just a fan. Like, I just wanted to talk to her. And they're like, how old are you, ma'am? She's like, I'm 27. And they were like, we've

seen you before. And she was like, what? And they're like, yeah, we've seen you before. And she was like, what? And they're like, yeah, we've seen you around before. We've seen you before. Whatever the fuck that means. Not a good sign if the police are familiar with your face. Maybe not a good thing. And they were like, you can't come here anymore. Like you can't just come bang on her door.

She was like, oh, I just wanted to like tell her, like I just wanted to talk to her and hang out. My mom is like, no, you can't come to our home and bang on the door for 15 minutes when I'm not home and try to hang out with my daughter. No, you can't do that. And she's like, okay, whatever. I don't mean any harm.

Like I'm just here, I'm not, I don't mean any harm. The police are like, okay, bye. And I'm like, okay, bye. You're just gonna trust that this woman just wanted to fucking know. So they just let her go. And they told her, you can leave a note at the front door if you wanna talk to her. And you wanna connect with her, but you can't be standing outside the door and banging on her door. I'm like, no, y'all, y'all are fucking fake.

Y'all are fake. This woman was trying to fucking murder me. But this is when things get really interesting. So my mom comes inside and she's like, honey, I'm so sorry. I was like, it's okay. I'm still having a little lady at this point, screaming, whatever, and holding on yards. And my mom's like, honey, this lady used to be our neighbor in the fourth unit. Like she used to live in our building.

She was like dating the guy that lived here. And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, okay. That's weird. And so I was like, this woman used to live in my building. Like, why is she, I just, none of this made sense to me. I was like, what does she want from me?

What is going on? And I have my conspiracy about what I think her goal was. I have my conspiracy about what I think her goal was because I know damn well that she didn't just wanna say hi. I think she's wrapped up in some no good stuff based on some of the stories that I had heard about her from my other neighbors. And I think she was trying to kidnap me for ransom. Like that's genuinely my conspiracy.

And some people think I'm crazy for that conspiracy. But I think she knew who I was because she lived in my building and I think she was wrapped up with some bad people. And I think that she was like, well, I know somebody in the public eye that we could kidnap for ransom. They would cause quite the buzz.

And that's my conspiracy, because I can't imagine why else this woman would show up two days in a row and harass me at my front door when my mom wasn't home. I just can't imagine another scenario where that would make any kind of sense. There's no way she had any type of peer intention. And you know the other reason why I know that because if she was so interested in becoming my friend, she would have listened to the police and she would have just left a note at my front door maybe the next day. And she never did because that's not what her intention was.

So that is my story there. And after that point, my mom was like, you need to be in, you need to be far away from here where nobody knows where you live. Because way too many people know where we live because we were locals in the town and people knew where we lived just because we lived there for so many years. And so, you know, it was a relatively small town so it's not like hard to find people or like, you know, whatever. And so my mom was like, yeah, we need to get you out of here.

So I mean, pretty soon after, you know, we went to LA, we found me in apartment and I moved in a week later. So it was probably three weeks after that whole incident that I was out of, I was out of the Bay Area. And I'm so grateful that nothing bad ever happened from it, but at the same time, it's fucking awful and terrifying. So

That is my story. Yes, we waited three years, but it was worth it. Because now my mom has moved to another place and she's now living somewhere else. And I'm living somewhere else, and I have maximum security at my home. So if you even try to get in here, it's going to make a very loud sound and the police will be here within seconds.

So that's that. Crazy though, crazy story. That's for my downstairs neighbors. They were more harmless, but I talked about this in the money episode, but they were just, we would constantly have these screaming fights with them because they would be mad that we were being too loud and then we would be mad that they were being too loud and it's just because our building had no insulation.

It was a very old building, very dated, so you could hear everything and everything was creaky and it was just like, so they could hear everything. Whereas like the apartments I've lived in in LA, you can't hear shit. Like maybe you can hear a little bit of a hum of talking, but like we could hear full conversations that my neighbors were having downstairs if they were talking at a normal tone. And vice versa. So we were constantly fighting.

They were like constantly smoking a bunch of weed, which is like super dope and lit, but also like, you know, I was 13. So maybe didn't want to be inhaling large amounts of weed and I didn't like, when my clothes smelled like weed, when I went to school because it's seeped into my closet, all that stuff. Although I don't smoke weed now either, so it's kind of never been my thing and I don't, it was awful.

Kind of traumatized me with the weed thing, but also, you know, it's funny. There was this whole TikTok trend that was like, my dream smoke sash, like who I'd want to smoke weed with. And I, people kept putting me in them, and I was honestly so honored because I'm like, y'all think that I'm like cool like that? I, like, I was the best compliment I've ever received. I don't even smoke weed. But I'd be there to help anybody who was having a panic attack and I love that. So, I don't know, I just find that to be very sweet. So thank you to everybody who wanted me

and their smoke sash. Not that I can don't drug use in any way, but also, you do you boo, you know. I think I'm gonna answer some questions now, but I hope that you guys enjoyed that story. And if there's any other stories that I have brought up that never fully told you about, I feel like now I'm at such a different place in my life, I can kind of talk about anything. But yeah, so let's answer some questions. This episode is brought to you by LiquidIV.

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Okay, first question, how do you take your own advice? I am literally the CEO of this. I give, I genuinely believe in my advice. I think I give amazing advice, but I think the reason I give such good advice is because I know exactly what I need to hear and exactly what advice I need to follow. And I never follow it. But it makes me like, but I think because I'm so aware of the advice that I need, it makes

me better at giving advice because I'm self-reflecting on what I would want to hear and what I need to hear. But the problem is I'm such a harsh critic of myself and I feel like I don't respect myself enough to take my own advice. I don't maybe even love myself enough to take my own advice. And I'm learning and I'm getting better. I remember I made an episode about a month or two ago where I was talking about how myself a steam was awful. And it's gotten a lot better recently. I mean, seriously, full 180. I like feel so much better about myself.

I don't know exactly what helped with it. I think it was just like riding the wave of insecurity because it sometimes happens. And doing things that made me feel good and only being around people that make me feel good, that really helped. But, I mean, my insecurities make it so that I don't listen to my own advice because I'm like,

no, you don't deserve to have a good life. You deserve to suffer. Like, that's literally my brain wants me to suffer. It's very odd. And so I understand the struggle, but I'm learning how to get over that, and I'm learning how to move past that. And I think that envisioning yourself talking to you when you're younger and giving your younger self that advice can be a helpful exercise.

I've tried to do that, almost trying to think of myself energetically as a baby. And that sounds so fucking weird and twisted, but like people tend to demonize themselves and look at themselves as this like evil person and all you can see in yourself is your flaws. But if you look at yourself as this like fresh slate and you look at yourself as who you are today and not who you are yesterday, it's so much easier to be gentle with yourself

and to give yourself advice and then to take it because you're not all jaded by your own past. I feel like I look at my past and I'm just like, I mean, you've been so dumb so many times you fucking idiot. And you know, remember when you're ugly at this, during this time of your life, or do you remember law? So I can think about, but you have to understand that nobody sees that anymore. People see you for who you are today, not who you are yesterday.

Unless you did some dumb fuck shit yesterday, but you apologize for that and you move forward. You know what I'm saying? Or you create a new vision of who you are and other people's eyes. It's like nothing set in stone. Your identity is never set in stone. You can always, people's eyes. It's like nothing set in stone. Your identity is never set in stone. You can always, it's fluid.

It evolves as you do. So don't hold yourself back because you're judging yourself for who you were and don't not take your own advice because you don't think you deserve it. Think of yourself as a child who's innocent and pure. And look at yourself in the mirror in that way and that really helps. I've been really trying to do that and it genuinely helps.

And sometimes you'll cry about it. I've cried about it. I've been like, Emma, you, I've literally looked in the mirror and been like, Emma, you are a good person. You're not a bad person. You've made mistakes. You've done shit that is embarrassing. You've had some rough phases of your life. You've had some great phases of your life. You've done shit that is embarrassing. You've had some rough phases of your life.

You've had some great phases of your life. You've done shit that now you cringe about. You've done shit that now you look back on and you're proud of. It, to a certain extent, I'm never really that proud of myself. It's a disease, but you know what I'm saying? And you're a good person. You don't hurt people on purpose. You don't hurt yourself on purpose. All of

it is part of growing and you are a human being and that's a beautiful thing. And you're on this planet and you deserve to have the best life that you can. And now look at myself in the mirror and think those things. And this genuinely happens every once in a while. And I will cry about it. And it happens when I'm driving. I'll like look at myself in the rear view mirror and I'll like think those things for like 30 seconds at a stoplight and then I'll start bawling my eyes out. And because I realize like Emma, you are,

you look at yourself in such a negative light and yet no one else is looking at you like that. Some people, I have my handful of haters. You guys know who you are, but, like, you know, generally, like, I'm a, I was a baby once, I'm a human being. And so, treat yourself like, treat yourself gently, you know what I mean?

It's so important. Okay, another one from the same person actually. Hey, so I don't feel like I get as excited about any boy the way my friends do. I'm so specific and I like such a certain type of dude that most guys don't really excite me. And I know perhaps it's good to be picky with your potential partner, but I'm also worried that my specific type makes me judge too quickly whether or not a guy is right for me. On the other hand, I feel that chemistry and excitement is something that I feel right

from the jump or not at all. Very rarely has chemistry slash butterfly slash the crushy feeling grow if the guy didn't originally give me that feeling. Okay, I have many opinions about this. So I'm the same way. I, it's very rare for me to be excited by a guy, like very rare.

And actually, I've even been like, I've even judged people by their cover. And been like, I don't, like, I've sometimes just been like, you know, either no, there's no way you're, I'm gonna like you, I know this for a fact. But there's also been guys where I'm like, I feel like I could like you, but I feel like you'd hurt me. And I've just like, jump the gun like that, which is just not good to do. Like, but I feel like you'd hurt me, and I've just jumped the gun like that, which is just not good to do. Like, you know when you look at a guy in the face, and you're like, there's no way you're not gonna break my heart.

I just know that you would be the one to do it, and I don't even want anything to do it with it. Or, like, oh, you're kind of too intimidating for me. So, like, fuck that, I'm not even gonna dApple because you're just intimidating to me, and I just don't even want to try that. I don't feel like I could be myself in gonna dabble because you're just intimidating to me and like I just don't even wanna try that. Like I don't feel like I could be myself in front of you because you're cooler than me.

Like there's so many different things that deter me. Even if it's like kind of ironic, because it's like, okay, well I think that you're cute and I think that we'd work great, but like I think you'd hurt me, so no. Like what the fuck is that, right? I don't think that you need to overanalyze the way that you feel about people,

because I think that it's just gonna happen on its own, and I think that giving everybody a little bit of a chance, not a full chance, but being open-minded and giving the guys that have a little bit of potential, a chance, that could literally be the guy that you never knew that you needed. It's really crazy how sometimes that happens. Like one time there was a guy and I was like, I just, like, I'm attracted to this guy. He's hot.

But I just feel like I wouldn't, I think it was almost like I didn't feel like I was going to live up to what they probably thought I was. Does that make sense? I was like, okay, they like are trying to hang out with me, but like I know that I'm gonna disappoint them because they just seem really fucking cool and like they have their shit together in a way that like I just never will and so I'm just gonna dodge this bullet. Even though I was like into the guy but I was like, this is too scary for me.

But I like put that aside and I was like at some point and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna give it a chance. And it was, and I'm point, I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna give it a chance. And it was, and I'm really glad that I did. You know what I mean? You have to like, sometimes it's not always gonna be perfect in the beginning. Your mind isn't always gonna process the situation perfectly from the beginning.

Sometimes, it's the dudes that you see, and you immediately, it's like, love it for a site where you're like, I think this is me, so am I. The first day that you fucking see a photo of them, right? And then you meet them and they end up being such a disappointment. And you're like, this is everything that I didn't want. So, like, lay yourself be surprised

and let people prove you wrong before you X them off. And even if a guy, like, also, I mean, I'm kind of, this is advice that I've never taken myself. Because I, I don't normally talk to guys unless I'm like very, this is so fucked up. Like, I don't know if this is wrong thing. But like, I always am, I'm, but I usually am not gonna be romantically interested in a guy that I don't think is hot. So maybe this is bad advice, but also even if a guy,

I always, does that make sense? I'm not gonna give, oh my God, this is so sad. Like let's say I get a DM from a guy that I don't think is cute, I'm not gonna respond. And like that's fucked up. But what my advice is, maybe I'm doing the wrong thing there. Like maybe you should, I mean, I don't think I'm doing the wrong thing, I think maybe that's definitely normal.

But like, kind of give everybody a chance that has a little bit of potential. I don't do that, I. I don't do that. I... I don't do that. But I don't think it's a bad strategy, like giving everybody a chance in a way when you're really picky,

because then it's like, because somebody might shock you, you know? I don't know. But I can't, I don't even think I really can give that advice because I've never in my life done that. How fucked up is that? Like I've never, but it's not like I'm,

but also attractiveness is something that's so personal to you. Like my friends are attracted to guys that I am not remotely attracted to and vice versa. So it's like, you know, it's all like in your own mind and it's like what you're, it's all like in your own mind. And it's like what you're, you're what clicks in your mind and stuff. But then it's also like for me, I'm the same way. There's a lot of criteria that needs to fit for me. I feel guilty about this conversation. And I'm going to move on. Somebody said, my friend and her boyfriend broke up

on our homecoming night. He was a dick about it and said that he saw me and my boyfriend together and didn't think he would ever get there with her. Now I feel like I ruined something, advice. You didn't ruin anything. You cannot control how other people perceive you and how they take their perception of you and act on it. That is out of your control and that is not your responsibility

Your friend dodged a bullet With this guy if that's the way that he thinks dodged a bullet Do you think that it's a good idea to be with somebody who'd break up with you because they saw another relationship And was like that one looks better from the outside and I don't think we're ever gonna be like that. So I'm out, the fuck, very toxic. That's not a good thing. Also the fact that he came to you and told you that is even worse.

You're her friend. No, she dodged a bullet. You didn't do anything. If anything, you saved her without even trying. Somebody said, hey, I'm on my mom was abusive and struggles with alcoholism. So my sister and I live with our dad full time for the past three years.

She still texts us and says she misses us, but I've been hearing that she hasn't changed and she's still drinking. I still feel guilty for cutting her out of my life, even though I know that it's better for me and my mental health. Do you have any advice for easing this guilt? I think that as humans, we feel guilt when we put ourselves first.

I know this feeling because on a way different scale, I am constantly cutting people out of my life. I'm really the worst. Like I just am always, no, I'm not the worst. See that immediately my mind went there, right? But I don't like being around people that don't make me feel good or that make me anxious or that aren't on the same page as me in life. And so I cut people out constantly for my mental health,

and I do feel guilty about it. That's why I just said that I'm the worst, but I'm not the worst because that is up to me and that is my job for myself. My job as a human being is to take care of myself as best as possible. And sometimes you have to remove people from your life, even your own family for your own well-being.

And there's nothing to feel guilty about. Your mom is abusive. There's no reason for you to feel guilty about getting away from that. I mean, anybody would getting away from that. That, I mean, anybody would need to escape that. That's not, this is, you deserve that. You deserve to be removed from that. And it's harder when it's your own family,

because it's like, well, this is supposed to be a lifelong bond. This is supposed to be something, whatever. But family doesn't just mean your family that you are born into. If the family that you are born into is abusive or is not healthy for you to be around, there's nothing wrong with finding family elsewhere and without that person.

Remind yourself that anybody in your situation would do the same thing, and that you deserve to be far away from anything that is relatively abusive, anything that has the word, you deserve the best treatment by everybody in your life. And anybody who's not giving that to you shouldn't be in your life. There's no reason to feel guilty about taking care of yourself because taking care of yourself is not only important

for you but also the people that are around you that love you and care about you and want to see you happy. It makes others happy to see you happy and to see you in your mental health, thriving. That's all anybody wants. So whatever you need to do to get there, never feel guilty about that. Never feel guilty about prioritizing your own mind because that's all you have at the end of the day. It's you in your mind. That's what you have forever until the day that we all die. That's all we have

is our own body and mind. So take care of it like it's a fucking temple and don't let anything or anyone make you feel bad about prioritizing that. Somebody said, what's your opinion on young people being besties with middle-aged slash grown-ups. I feel like it's very normal in LA for that to happen, but also what are your thoughts? I have quite a few friends that are old. I mean, I don't know, I'm okay, so I'm 19. And I think my oldest friend is like 35 maybe. And to be honest, when I hang out with somebody who's 35, I don't feel like it's any different

than I'm hanging out with somebody that's 20. And I've never been somebody that's really gotten along with people younger than me, necessarily. I don't have any friends that are younger than me and I literally never have for whatever reason. So I don't think that it's weird and I think that nine times out of 10, it's gonna be, it just is a matter of like some adults, like hanging out with younger people because it makes them feel youthful in a way,

or they like the youth perspective. And I think that that can be a really cool relationship where it's like almost like a mentor and a child type of thing, right? But I also think that sometimes it's a little bit weird. I can definitely also see it being weird. I've seen some scenarios where I'm like, how does that make sense? But I also understand that I have friendships with people that are older than me.

I'm friends with people that are older than me. I mean, when it comes to my general friend group, there's usually a two to five year age difference, but with my other friends that are a little bit older, sometimes it's like seven to 10 years, 15 years even. I mean, and some of those friendships are really great friendships that I need in my life. Like sometimes you need almost somebody who's like

an older sibling to give you advice, even when you're an adult, because technically I'm an adult, but like it's nice to get advice from somebody in their 30s. You know what I'm saying? They've lived a lot more life than I have. And I think in L.A. it's so normal

because a lot of kids are like shot into adulthood. Like I, you know, kind of was forced into adulthood when I was 17. So now I'm like, you know, it's easier for me to relate to older people. I think that's why it's a popular in LA is because a lot of kids have to grow up really fast here. So I don't think it's a bad thing.

But I think that some situations are weird and confusing. Okay, so I just paused this recording. You guys didn't know that though, because how would you know that? Because I fucking was 20 minutes late to a Zoom call that I forgot about, because I get so deep into the podcast that I forget about my responsibilities. So I just forgot about that Zoom call and I had to hop on it for 20 minutes and now I'm back. That was extremely jarring and upsetting.

So yeah, okay. Last thing I want to talk about because I just was on my phone for like a few minutes before I came to finish this podcast recording. And I was on TikTok for a little bit. And I saw a tarot card reading and it reminded me of my tweet the other day where I tweeted about how I'll see like a tarot card reading, and it reminded me of my tweet the other day where I tweeted about how I'll see like a tarot card reading on my for you page and like, get all anxious about it and shit. And then that made me think about

reading my horoscope. Recently guys, I've stopped reading my horoscope and my life has improved. Reading my horoscope or listening to tarot card readings about my star sign, anything relating to zodiac gives me the worst anxiety. I don't wanna know how my day's gonna be. I wanna just find out on my own.

So I'm dumb reading my horoscope. And I think all you guys should be too, because it's genuinely improved my life. Not paying attention to that shit anymore. I don't know. Something to think about. I think it's toxic and bad. When shit's going really bad for me,

that's when I read it and then I'll feel like it gives me clarity and it might and sometimes it does. But, you know, at what cost? Because sometimes it'll be like, you need to have a serious conversation today and don't hold back. And then I'll like live my whole day and I never needed to have a serious conversation.

Then I'm like, did I not do something right? Like, did I fuck up my own day? Like, what did I do wrong? That that didn't happen, you know what I mean? And what's the point of all of that trauma? So anyway, done with horoscopes, we don't do that anymore, we don't fuck with that. So just on age share, but any who, that's enough for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed that story and I hope you guys enjoyed the episode in general. I love all of you guys so much. Tweet at

AG podcast and let me know what you want me to talk about in the next episode. You can also ask me questions on there. I do advice sessions on here where I give you guys advice about your specific life problems and if you guys want to be a part of that at AG Podcasts, that's the Twitter. That is the main spot to be. Also if you want to rate us an Apple Podcast, give us a little five stars. Never hurts anyone. It actually helps me a lot, and I really appreciate it. And I also love to know your guys' feedback.

So either treat me or leave me a review and let me know what you like or don't like. But also don't tell me what you don't like. Just tell me what you like for my own ego. Anyway, okay, I love you all. Talk soon. Talk next week. See you next Thursday.

Bye bye. Hey, bye. Anyway, okay, I love you all. Talk soon. Talk next week. See you next Thursday. Bye bye. Bye.