anything goes with emma chamberlain - things feel weird rn

Episode Date: July 22, 2021

For some of us, the world is starting to open back up again. It’s something we’ve been looking forward to for so long, but that doesn’t mean the transition is easy. Emma is chatting this week about some of the struggles and anxieties associated with things getting back to normal. From not wearing masks indoors, feeling super drained in social situations, not having the energy to make plans, feeling awkward when reconnecting with people we haven’t seen in so long, and difficulties making new friends. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to anything goes. I'm Emma Chamberlain, your host. Today, we're going to be talking about the world post-COVID, post-pandemic, because in California where I live, things are really starting to open back up and really starting to get back to normal. And it is freaking me out a little bit. And I know that in some places of the world things have been back to normal for months now and I know in other places of the world things are not opened up yet. So take this with a grain of salt depending on where you live and all of that. But I just wanted to talk about the effects

that this is having on me, the world opening back up. Some advice I have for those of you who are struggling to readjust to normal post pandemic life and just have an open conversation about it because it's been very weird and I just think we need to talk about it. We just need to talk about it. The first major adjustment has been not having to wear a mask anymore. I remember the first experience I had with this was actually at the gym.

I went to the gym to work out and I show up in a wearing a mask and all the people at the front desk weren't wearing masks. And I was like, what is going on? And they were like, oh, you don't have to wear masks anymore. In the gym. And I was like, oh, and I remember my first thought was, why am I not excited about this? Why am I not excited about this?

I should be so stoked that I don't have to wear a mask because exercising will be easier because the mask tended to get in the way and kind of suffocate me when I was trying to exercise. But also just because, you know, that's a sign that the world's opening back up and that should be exciting. But I was immediately anxious. And I went down to the locker room and I took my mask off and I felt so weird. I felt like I had shed a layer of my skin. I felt naked almost. That's the best way to put it. I felt naked.

And I immediately was so anxious. And then I walked up to the main area of the gym where all the machines are and stuff. And I started working out. And I felt an extreme sense of paranoia. Because number one, I felt like I was breaking the rules. And I had anxiety about that. I felt like I was doing something wrong, even though we don't have to wear masks. So simple as that.

But I felt like I was doing something wrong by not wearing a mask. Because it had been a major rule in our lives for the past however many months to wear a mask. Now suddenly, I don't have to and I felt like I was doing something wrong the whole time. On top of that, everybody could see my face. Every facial expression I make, every time I move my mouth, somebody can see it. That made me feel so weirdly vulnerable.

And it's so weird because I never thought that the mask would affect me that much. Like I just always thought that that was just gonna be an easy transition. Once the pandemic was over, taking the mask off would be easy, you know? But for some reason, it wasn't. And I was very anxious the whole time.

I even considered just putting the mask back on because it made me feel weirdly protected. And the weird thing about the mask was that, when I say protected, I don't mean necessarily it's obvious purpose, right? The obvious purpose of a mask is to keep out bacteria and to prevent spread of bacteria from your mouth and nose, right? Whatever.

Obviously, I felt protected by the mask in that way, but much more than that, I felt protected socially. I felt like the sense of incognito when I was wearing a mask, because not seeing an entire half of somebody's face takes away a lot of facial expression, takes away a lot of someone's identity, and I started to become more comfortable in that way where people can only see my eyes, you know what I mean? And that's it, like I started to feel more comfortable like that. And so taking the mask off at the gym, freaked me out.

And then, you know, it started happening at grocery stores. Now we don't have to wear a mask in the grocery store. I actually still wear one because I feel more socially comfortable. I feel like I can kind of fly under the radar in a sense. Nobody can see what my face is doing. My face is 50% covered. I feel safer socially wearing a mask. It's not even necessarily a health precaution

for me at this point. It's like an emotional precaution. Feeling hidden in that way is comforting for me at this point. It's like an emotional precaution. Feeling hidden in that way is comforting for me and I ended up becoming more comfortable in that state. And that is something I could have never anticipated and it's so weird, but not wearing a mask makes me feel vulnerable. And so that's something that I'm currently adjusting to and it's making me feel very weird, but I can say that it's already getting easier. I'm already adjusting to not wearing it. Practice makes perfect.

You know, the first few times I went to the grocery store and went to the gym with no mask. I felt very uncomfortable. And I almost felt paranoid because I felt like everybody was looking at me and could see every facial expression I was making and could see every detail of my face and that felt very weird. But after going back to the gym and going back to the grocery store with no mask, maybe 10 times, I now feel normal pretty much.

But I was shocked at my own emotional response in the very beginning to not wearing it and how it made me feel. So the main reason I'm bringing this up is because if you feel the same way, I just want to tell you this is a normal response. It's normal to feel weird and vulnerable, not wearing a mask after wearing one for over a year. Like, that's a natural response. But I felt kind of stupid at first because I was like, shouldn't I be like, just stoked and not question it and just enjoy it and just take it off?

But no, unfortunately, the human brain's a little bit more complicated than that. So that's the first order of business. Masks are kind of out of the picture and it's weird. But it's also in a sense exciting because it's a sign that we're getting somewhere, you know. The second thing that's been affected by the world opening back up for me is my work life. Because for the past year and a half I

Have been working kind of as usual when it comes to recording podcasts episodes and making YouTube videos and stuff like that all of that Is pretty much the same like none of that really changed during the pandemic But some things that were removed for my day-to-day life were in-person meetings, photo shoots, although I did have a few, but not as many as I did pre-COVID, traveling for work. All of that kind of stopped, or at least a lot less of it happened during the pandemic. And I've noticed a few things about myself. Number one, my stamina to get work done has lessened and decreased a lot. I feel like I get so drained from one photo shoot or from one in person meeting or from one

little weekend trip for work. Like I get exhausted so much easier and my social battery for work has declined as well. I find that I used to be a lot more chill and relax throughout the day when I would be working in a sense. And now I feel like I get tired and I kind of shut down, if you will, where I just am not as social anymore at a certain point in the day.

And it's weird. Like, I am not functioning at the rate that I was pre-pandemic. I have zero stamina for work. And it's making me feel kind of lazy in a sense, because I get so tired from things that used to not make me that tired. Like, doing a photo shoot for me always has been tiring, but afterwards I would be able to go to dinner if I wanted or I could record a podcast after I had a photo shoot.

Now, no. I do a photo shoot or I have an in-person meeting and for the rest of the day I feel like I have to be in bed. My stamina is just not where it used to be. And I was kind of hard on myself in the beginning because I was like, I'm a, you should be revved to go. You should be energized as hell because you just took a year and a half off of all of this stuff, you know, involuntarily, but still, you know, you should be energized.

Why are you more tired? It doesn't make sense. And I was beating myself up over this, but then I realized that, you know, the pandemic itself was exhausting. Even if we were just laying in bed all day looking at the news, it was exhausting. Even if we were just laying in bed all day contemplating our next moves in life once everything gets back to normal, that's exhausting. We may have had a break from work during the pandemic to a certain extent, but the emotional

work that we had to do during the pandemic naturally made us all feel drained. So for all of you who are struggling to get back to work and are feeling really tired and just drained, I feel you. And I think that that's also a normal human response. I think that that's just natural. I think a lot of us expected ourselves to bounce back so quickly and so easily because a lot of people maybe looked at the pandemic as a time that was only rest, really. But it wasn't at all. And we can't look at it like that.

It was so emotionally exhausting. It was so confusing. It was so scary. It was so weird. It was so bizarre. Of course, we're not bouncing back as quickly as we thought. But it was hard to predict, you know. It was hard to predict how we were all going to come out the other side. how we were all gonna come out the other side. The next thing that's been affected by the world opening back up is that I feel like I'm being invited to more social events and it's stressing me out. Now I know that I should be excited, right? Like, oh, I'm getting invited to this dinner party.

Oh, I'm getting invited to this movie night. Oh, I'm getting invited to this game night. I'm getting invited to this brunch. Like, I should be excited, right? But I am not. I feel very overwhelmed because just like with my social battery for work and my social energy for work I Also have a shorter fuse when it comes to being social in my personal life as well

I find that I get Exhausted after hanging out with people for literally an hour. And I hit a wall and I just want to lay in bed and be by myself. And it even exhausts me to be social to a point where after I'm social for a while, I just fall asleep. It's the weirdest thing. I've never been like this. But after I get back from a social event of some sort, let's

say it's a barbecue, let's say it's a dinner, let's say it's whatever. I immediately go to sleep. No matter what time of the day it is, it could be 8.30, it could be 9.30, it could be 5.30 pm, like I immediately fall asleep. I'm physically and mentally exhausted from being social, even if it's just for a few hours. I get exhausted so quickly. And that's weird because I feel like my social stamina

used to be so much better. I could hang out with people all day and then go and record a podcast or film a YouTube video or talk on the phone with somebody for hours, even after I had been social earlier in the day. And now, it's like, everything that I do needs to be spread out between moments by myself. And it's kind of frustrating.

And it's kind of exhausting. And's kind of exhausting and it kind of makes being social less enjoyable than it used to be for me because I just get so tired from it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's in all in one place to make an online space that's entirely your own. Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one

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I also feel overwhelmed because I haven't seen a lot of people in a really long time. And so when people ask me to hang out or want to see me after all this time, I feel this pressure to say yes to everything. But at the same time, I don't want to. You know, because as I said, I get exhausted so easily. And I've also found like a routine in my life that makes me feel good and makes me feel happy that only involves me. Okay, my day to day routine only involves me, okay? My day to day routine only involves me. And when I'm agreeing to all these social events, that takes away from my alone time

where I have a routine that makes me feel good. My routine consists of going to the gym, reading my book, writing in my journal, laying in bed with my cats, cooking, all that stuff. When I agree to social events, that takes away time from my me time, right? And that also stresses me out because I know that I need to have my me time or else I turn into a raging bitch because my me time is how I recharge. But there's such a surplus of social events

that I feel bad saying no to everything, but at the same time, I have to, because I still need to keep my own personal me time intact. But at the same time, I worry that I'm isolating myself too much. Do I need to be taking these opportunities to be social and any chance I can get to try to make up for lost time? Is that how I should be handling this? I don't know, it's just weird.

It's weird because I again thought that I was going to have more energy to be social once everything kind of cooled down a little bit and things started to open back up. But no, like that's not happening. It's not as easy as I expected it to be. Not to mention, when I am in social situations, I find that I'm very tense and a little bit more anxious.

I have never been somebody who really overthought what I said when having a conversation with somebody. I feel like I've always been pretty comfortable with my conversational skills and I've never overthought them. But recently being social has been taking a toll on my anxiety because after I get home from being social for a few hours,

I can't help but overthink every single word that I said. And even in the moment, I'm overthinking every word that I'm saying, which makes me more tense. And also makes me feel like I'm not being myself. Like I feel like I'm struggling to be just myself around people now because I am overanalyzing everything that I say and do because I don't feel like being social is a

natural thing anymore. It doesn't feel natural anymore. It used to be natural because I was social so often, you know, whether it was for work or just because of my personal life, I was constantly seeing people and talking to new people and meeting new people. Now that stuff is not automatic. It's not comfortable. It's not easy like it used to be. And that's weird. And I know that for me and for all of you,

we're gonna get back into the swing of things and things will be completely fine. And it's all about practice, not to mention everybody's dealing with this. Some more than others, but everybody's dealing with this, some more than others, but everybody's dealing with this weird discomfort. So that's another thing that we have to remember is that we're not alone in this, the whole world dealt with this.

So when you're feeling like, I feel like I'm acting weird or saying weird things, remind yourself that everybody's feeling that way. And everybody's a little bit uncomfortable and everybody's a little bit tense. And we'll get back to it. We'll figure it out, but it's just, it's uncomfortable right now and it's exhausting. After being really hard on myself for how I was readjusting for like a month or so, I started to realize that being hard on myself was not gonna fix anything.

And you listening being hard on yourself or how you're adjusting is not gonna help you with anything either. I think that what we need to remember is that we're all going through this together and that what we have been through as an entire world has been traumatic and scary and weird and uncomfortable, and we need to give ourselves some grace

and allow ourselves to recover at our own pace. And if we're a little bit awkward, if we're a little bit nervous, if we're a little bit nervous, if we're a little bit anxious, if we need to spend more time alone than we anticipated that we'd need to, that's all okay. You know, it's so important to go easy on yourself as we're figuring this out because I think all of us expected ourselves to bounce back immediately and be stoked to do so. But it's not feeling like that as much as we thought.

And so we're hard on ourselves, but there's no reason to do that. And listen, don't get me wrong. There's parts of this that have been amazing. Like, even though I get a little bit more exhausted from being social than I used to, I've still been able to be social in ways that I haven't in over a year and a half. And that's so exciting.

And it's still fun, even though I get exhausted after like an hour, it's still fun. And eventually, get exhausted after like an hour, it's still fun. And eventually, I'll get back into the swing of things and I'll be able to be social at the rate that I used to. And I know that. And this is all exciting, but it's also uncomfortable. It's crazy.

It really is crazy. But anyway, on that note, let's answer some questions. I asked you guys to ask questions about this topic on the Twitter at AG podcast. Feel free to follow it if you want to interact with the podcast episodes, ask questions, et cetera. Somebody said, how do I build my social battery back up again? Social battery is basically how much energy you have to be social before you get burnt out, tired, and just want to go home. I would say the key to rebuilding your social battery is balance because you don't want

to do too much of anything. For example, you don't want to isolate yourself too much because that doesn't help rebuild your social battery, whatsoever. That just makes it worse, honestly. But you also don't want to hang out with people too often and you don't want to be too social because then you're going to wear yourself out too much and it's gonna make you

want to isolate yourself even more. So I think that the key is to balance your time between spending time alone and charging your social battery and then integrating little bursts of social interactions and slowly building it up. You don't need to go from being alone seven days a week to hanging out with people seven days a week. Maybe you start out with hanging out with people once a week, then once you're like, okay, I think I'm ready.

Let's take it up a notch. You start hanging out with people three times a week. And then you keep building up. You know, you can't immediately go crazy and just start hanging out with people every fucking day. It's just not going to work. You know, it's just going to burn you out worse. So I would say build it up slowly, but also make sure to prioritize your alone time and

your quote unquote, you time. And that's really gonna help. Somebody said this isn't a question, but I fully forgot how to make friends, LMAO. I totally get it. I forgot how to make friends too. I feel like I used to be somebody that would talk to strangers a lot more

and just spark up conversations randomly a lot more, which then caused me to make more friends. Whereas now I feel like when I'm in a social setting with a lot of new people, I don't put in any effort to make new friends. Like when I'm at a social event, I talk to people that I know and that's it. I honestly, I've even been struggling to introduce myself to people I don't know. Like, I've found myself waiting for other people to introduce themselves to me instead, which I never used to do. I used to be pretty good about introducing myself and then now I just get nervous and just decide not to do it. And then that makes me come off a little less approachable, which is not good, but again, we're adjusting,

we're going to figure it out. I would say the way to make friends is to make the conscious effort, because when I'm at these social events these days now, and I'm not introducing myself to people, and I'm not trying to start conversations with people I don't know. It's not really a conscious decision to do that. It's like subconscious. It's like I'm on autopilot and I just for some reason don't introduce myself to people

and don't spark up conversation like I used to. It's not the natural response to being social anymore. And so I think the key is to become aware of it as you already have. And then to make conscious efforts while you are being social, even if it's uncomfortable, you almost have to tell yourself before you go to a social situation, today you are going to talk to people. Like you have to tell yourself, okay, I are going to talk to people. Like you have to tell yourself, okay, I am going to talk to people today. I'm going to introduce myself to three new people, and I'm going to try to start a conversation with them.

That's my goal. I have to do that. And you make it a goal for yourself, and you kind of force yourself to do it. And it's a little bit uncomfortable, but again, it's like to make something into a habit, you have to do it. You know what I'm saying? You have to start doing it and you have to get through the uncomfortable beginning stages of creating a new habit. And the habit at hand in this situation is just being more open socially and talking to people that you don't necessarily know so that you can build new connections with people. Somebody said, is it normal to be in your anti-social phase and not want to go out?

I feel so pressured to do stuff but I don't want to. We talked about this earlier, yes, like this is normal. It's normal for us to feel more comfortable being antisocial now because we have been antisocial for so long. It's so funny because I think all of us expected to never want to be antisocial again. Because we had been so isolated and we were so lonely, especially in the beginning, but I think a lot of us have become more independent than we've ever been. Which is not necessarily a terrible thing.

I think that the pandemic situation has made a lot of us more independent than we ever imagined we could be, which is a great thing us more independent than we ever imagined we could be, which is a great thing because being independent is great. But I think some of us have gotten a little bit too independent. And now we feel almost too comfortable being by ourselves. And so that's when the slow integration of social interaction comes in, taking it slow, integrating ourselves slowly and not rushing ourselves, not forcing ourselves, just doing fun little social things here and there that excite us, and then eventually we'll feel more social again.

Somebody said, I haven't seen a lot of my friends in two years now because of COVID and my mom being ill. I'm going to see a bunch of them to go camping in August, but I'm worried it will be awkward, and I'll be shy and closed up the whole time. I tend to feel very anxious in big groups of people. Well, I totally understand this fear because it's a valid fear.

You know, we have not worked our social muscles in so long that they are a lot weaker than they used to be. And so it's going to take rebuilding. It's like if you were a track athlete or an Olympic athlete, let's say you're an Olympic athlete and you break your leg. A lot of the muscles in your leg are going to become really weak. And so the Olympic athlete is going to have to rebuild those muscles to get back to where they were before and it's going to take some time. And it's the same thing with

social situations. We're going to have to rebuild our social muscles. But the good news is the social muscles will start to rebuild immediately as you start to be social. So you just have to push through the first few awkward moments, the first few moments filled with tension and then things will start to feel better and better almost immediately. You just have to push through. Somebody said, with all the changes I've gone through during the pandemic, how can I gain confidence in showing my friends those changes, the new me, and what if they don't like how quarantines changed me? How

do I deal with that? Because I'm afraid that they might judge me for that. Well, if we're being honest, you know, if your friends don't accept the new you and who you are post pandemic, then they just might not be the right friends for you anymore. You might have outgrown them. And that's completely natural. We go through so many friends throughout our lives. And so the worst case scenario is that you meet back up with your friends and it doesn't click the way that it used to.

Well guess what? There are 7 billion people in this world and you will find new friends that match who you are today much better. The other thing is you should be proud of who you've become and how you've grown over the past year and a half. That's something to be proud of. You know what I'm saying? And don't be nervous about presenting the new you. Be excited that you've grown. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know when you get so caught up in what

everyone else needs that you totally forget to take care of yourself? I mean, it happens to me all the time. And there's nothing wrong with taking care of other people, but it only becomes an issue when you neglect yourself in the process. Spending all of our time giving can make us feel burnt out and resentful, which is why it's so important to have a space where you can talk through problems, reframe thoughts, and prioritize your well-being,

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for anyone. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give better help but try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time for no additional charge. To get started, visit betterhelp.com slash anything today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help.com slash anything. This episode is brought to you by the all new 2024 Chevy tracks pack lightly. It's okay if you did in the all new 2024 Chevy tracks you in all your family all your family, all your friends, all your kids, all your pets have all the space and versatility you deserve in need for your next big adventure.

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true. It is a two-way street. And that's the hard thing about friendship sometimes is sometimes you have to put yourself in a vulnerable position in order to start a friendship or to keep a friendship going because a lot of the times we rely on other people to ask us to hang out to put the effort in. And we feel like we can kind of sit back and relax. And I know I do that far too much. But the truth of the matter is friendships are two-way street, and so you and your friends need to be putting the effort in.

And maybe this is a good opportunity for you to go and try to find some new friends as well, because it sounds like you're kind of working with a blank slate. That might not even be a bad thing, because that might inspire you to go talk to new people that you wouldn't have talked to otherwise. And it might actually be fun and exciting to catch up with your old friends. I would say make it a goal for yourself to reach out to your old friends. See if the good energy is still there. And if not, use this as a time to try to find new people.

Somebody said, how do you deal with anxiety from our country not opening back up? Whereas the rest of the world seems to be ahead of us. So this person is living somewhere where things are not really back to normal yet. In California, things moved a little bit slower than it did in the rest of the United States. And so I kind of understand this feeling of frustration where, and anxiety, for that matter, where you're like, why is it not getting back to normal where I am?

You know, like, why are we being left behind? But in a situation like this, you know, the best thing that you can remind yourself is that this is out of your control. And getting anxious about things that you can't control is one of the worst things you can do for yourself because you can't control it. You know what I'm saying? So unless you can figure out a way to remind yourself of that, your anxiety will just keep going. And so the way that I helped myself deal with the anxiety

of California taking a little bit longer to open back up was that I just accepted the situation for what it was. I said, you know, this is unfortunate and this sucks. And I'm seeing other people, you know, going kind of back to their normal lives and I feel kind of sad that I'm not there yet and that California's not there yet. But I learned to accept the situation for what it was and I learned to trust.

Like, okay, you know what? There's a reason why things aren't opening back up yet. I'm just going to trust and I'm just going to relax and I'm just going to accept the situation for what it is. A great way to deal with anxiety in general is to learn how to accept what you're anxious about. So if you're anxious about your country not opening back up, just accept that in your mind, accept the fact that that is the current state of your country and accept that it might take a little bit longer for things to get back to normal. And once you learn to accept it for what it is, accept the situation for what it is, I can almost guarantee your anxiety will decrease by 30%.

Just by doing that. And more than that, you know, as we've done for the rest of the pandemic, find ways that are positive to distract yourself. You know, I know that we've all been the rest of the pandemic, find ways that are positive to distract yourself. You know, I know that we've all been doing that for so long. It's like we've all run out of positive things to distract ourselves, but there's always more. You can always find more.

And you know, you might have to put a little bit of effort in, but who knows? You know, you could fall in love with making music, with crocheting, with making YouTube videos, with going to bed early and reading books instead of going to bed late and watching movies. Like, you know what I mean? You could shift areas of your life and you could find new things to help make your life better so that when the world does get back to normal in your country you feel like an even better version of yourself. Somebody said how do I deal with school anxiety? Like I never used to be anxious to go to school but now my stomach drops when I walk in. The whole situation just freaks me out now.

when I walk in, the whole situation just freaks me out now. As I've said about all of these social scenarios, it's normal what you're feeling for one, but for two, a lot of this is just ripping off the bandaid. You know what I'm saying? It's ripping off the bandaid. It hurts at first, it's uncomfortable at first, but then once the bandaid is off, you feel great, and you feel back to normal.

I think that it's about taking the leap, and it's about pushing through the discomfort, because the discomfort will inevitably go away. It might take a little longer than you expect, but it will eventually go away. Eventually, you'll feel normal at school again. Eventually, we'll feel normal, not wearing masks. Eventually, we'll feel normal going to work and we'll feel normal going to parties and we'll feel normal doing all that stuff. At some point, we will return to where we

were before, but we have to start somewhere.. But we have to start somewhere. Simply, we have to start somewhere. And that's gonna come with the anxiety and that's gonna come with this discomfort, but it's kind of what we have to do. And it sucks, but it's a part of it. And what we have to look forward to is that it will pass and things will feel normal again.

to look forward to is that it will pass and things will feel normal again. Somebody said, how do you plan on balancing your alone time with your social time now that there are so many opportunities to be social? I think this is a great point because I think a lot of us have learned how to appreciate our alone time, be productive by ourselves, be overall just more independent in general, and we've gotten really good at it because we didn't really have a choice. But now, you know, the opportunity to distract ourselves and be social 24-7 is on the table. And I think a lot of people are concerned about losing

their independence and losing their alone skills, if you will. Like being able to be alone is a skill, because it's kind of uncomfortable, and it can be tough. Like it takes strength, you know? And a lot of us have built up those muscles which are great muscles to have but We don't want to lose all of it by being social too much, you know what I'm saying. I think the key is to

Kind of schedule out Your life like really learn to schedule things because This is a big prior like this is something I really, really do, and it really helps me so that I don't do too much of one thing. I don't spend too much time alone, but I also don't spend too much time social. And I think it's really helpful to have a calendar and to write everything out and to see everything in front of you and to schedule out time for yourself, but to also schedule out time to be social and to kind of look at it on a calendar and

see it in front of your face. You know what I'm saying? That's so helpful and it ensures that there's not too much of anything going on because in life too much of anything is not good, right? I think in life we're constantly striving for balance. For me, I found that scheduling really helps me with that. So you know, on a day where I know that I'm going to be going to a party, I might decide to spend the rest of that day alone and to get some work done, but also

do something for me. Go and get my nails done or go and get a massage or spend an hour reading. I'll make sure to put those things on my calendar. I think a lot of people just tend to put stuff on their calendar that's like work-related, but I also try to integrate other things that I know will make me feel good like exercising or reading a book or getting my nails done or getting a massage or something like that so that that is a priority because I don't think that we prioritize ourselves as much as we should and we don't look at self-care acts and time spent alone as a priority.

So it doesn't even make it onto our calendar. You know what I'm saying? But it should make it on there because it's just as important as getting your work done as being social. So he said, I feel the need to get back into the world and experience and make new memories only to realize how expensive everything is. Could you recommend outings for friends that are cheap or free? Yes, one of my favorite things to do is to make food, maybe you sort of like picnic situation

or something of that sort. Make food that you already have at your home, which is not free, but kind of free, because you're gonna eat it anyway. And then take it to some sort of outdoor location, whether that's the beach, the forest, you know, a nice grassy park, something like that. And just hang out there in the outdoors.

It's crazy because there are so many places that you can go outdoors that are literally free, but that can be an amazing place to hang out all day. You'll feel entertained all day. Like if I bring some food to the beach, I'm there all day. I bring food, I bring a book, it's like amazing. Another thing that you can do is you can invite your friends over and you can cook with your friends.

You can put on music and then everybody helps and cooks dinner. That's so fun. Again, food, you have to pay for it anyway. So, might as well make dinner with your friends. Another thing that you can try is finding a cute little Airbnb, something really tiny. They have these cute little tiny Airbnb's that are sometimes like 50 bucks a night and

you can road trip to one of those. And they're not, you know, the most luxurious, but they're cute and they're comforting and they're still exciting because you're getting out of your normal routine. That's always really fun. And if you do a road trip, you're saving the cost on a flight, but you're still getting a little getaway. Somebody said, how do you feel normal dressing up again? I feel like I haven't worn real clothes since the beginning

of shutdown. I definitely know what you mean. I had it kind of a difficult time, and I still am now getting motivated to dress up for different events. Like if I'm going to brunch or I'm going to dinner or I'm going shopping or I'm going wherever, like just going out into the world. I really struggle to get out of my pajamas

and to go and do it and to dress up cute. And the truth of the matter is, there's really no rush. You can wear whatever you want. But if you wanna get back into it, I think that something fun that you can do and I've done this a few times is to set up like, okay, let's say one day you're bored, right? Pick out some outfits in your closet

and put them all on different hangers so that you have like say three to five fun outfits that you just put together. Now next time you get an opportunity to leave the house, whether that's to go to dinner or to even just go to the grocery store, now you have some outfits already picked out. And you can just wear them out. And you don't have to think about it in the moment. Because I find that I get so pressured in the moment to pick something out and then I end up just wearing PJs, which is fine. But sometimes I don't feel confident out in PJs and I want to be wearing a cute outfit, but I just didn't have the energy to pick it out.

So use a moment of boredom throughout your week to pick out some fun outfits that you can wear. And what I do is I put them all into one hanger, so I'll take one hanger and I'll put a pair of pants, a shirt, and a jacket, and maybe even a bag or something like that on the hanger, and then I hang it up, and then I save it until I want to wear it. And then that's what I've been doing recently, and it's very helpful, and it kind of forces me to dress up to go out, but it takes a lot less thought in the moment, and it's just great.

And I think that that's helped me personally learn how to get dressed properly to do normal day-to-day things, which sounds like it should be easy, but I totally understand why it's not. So that's what I've been doing. I actually love doing that. It's a fun little past time too. On that note, thank you guys for listening. I hope that you enjoyed.

I know that this time is very uncomfortable and weird, but we're all in it together. And I really enjoyed hanging out with you today. If you enjoyed this episode, give anything goes a review on Apple podcasts, follow anything goes anywhere that you listen to podcasts, follow anything goes on Twitter at AG podcast to interact with me and upcoming episodes. Thank you for listening. I love you all very much. Have an amazing and gorgeous and beautiful rest of your day. Bye y'all.