anything goes with emma chamberlain - traveling alone

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

Emma is back from a much needed solo trip to NYC. She chats through it and discusses the benefits of traveling alone, even if it’s outside of our comfort zone, when we need a little reset. Plus, why being alone can be beneficial, how to be comfortable being alone if you aren’t used to it, and some tips on doing some self-reflection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody welcome back to anything goes I'm Emma Chamberlain your host and your best friend otherwise known as your bestie I hope you're having an amazing day it's nice and early in the morning it's like 8am right now I just woke up so if you're wondering why my voice sounds maybe a little bit raspy, that's why. You're probably like, I might doesn't sound raspy. You want it to sound raspy. You want to have hot, sexy morning voice, but you don't bitch.

And I know. And I know that. I'm I know. Anyway, let's just get right into the topic today because I have really nothing to talk about. Like I have nothing else to talk about. Nothing has happened that's worth updating you on. We're just going to get straight into the topic of today's episode.

Today's episode is going to be about traveling alone because this is a newfound passion of mine. I just got back from a trip to New York. I went to New York for about a week by myself, and I had so many realizations, and I also never realized how truly great traveling alone can be, and I urge all of you to try it. If you're a little bit too young to travel alone, this is something you can look forward to, And if you're not fully comfortable traveling alone, personally,

which I totally get, some people just cannot do that, maybe this is something that you can warm up to down the line. I'm just planting the seed, okay? But I just think that there's a lot to be gained from traveling alone. And I personally never saw a reason for it because I felt like being in a foreign place is so much more fun with, you know, your friends or your family and it's more comfortable. But after going to New York by myself for a week, I truly realized why traveling alone is such a borderline spiritual experience. And I wanted to share what I learned, what happened, how it was, et cetera, et cetera, and just plan a seed for you guys.

If you guys aren't loan travelers, you know? Okay, so the first kind of thing I wanna talk about is why I went. Basically, I was kind of a loan in LA, like everybody that I hang out with or that I'm close to was doing things. Like either working or on a trip or, you know, and it just, I was just kind of on my own.

And listen, I'm on my own 90% of the time anyway. I'm usually on my own. But it feels a lot worse when you know that you couldn't just hit someone up if you wanted to to hang out. Now listen, I'm pulling from a small circle here. I talked about three people in total, max. And so I was kind of on my own, which was fine, but kind of a bummer, especially because

LA is not really my friend right now. The energy here is pretty awful. I can't really put a finger on why. I've also been here for four months straight, which is kind of a long time. I try to get out of town every few months. And so four months is a lot for me to be here at once. And that might sound so fucked, right?

But there's something about LA that's so draining and I know it is a privilege in itself to even be able to talk about this as an issue. But issues are relative, you know? And for some reason, Los Angeles just drains me and makes me sad and makes me feel like shit. And so I try to either go on a road trip, whether that's like somewhere in California or whatever,

or I don't know, just do something. Even go stay in a hotel somewhere, just get out of my direct house in Los Angeles every few months. I don't know how I just ended up here at this point. I don't know how I ended up at this talking point. I like, but anyway, so all my friends were out of town. I had a relatively free week.

I didn't have a lot of, quote unquote, work stuff going on, hate talking like that, but you know what I'm saying, okay. I didn't have any meetings, I didn't have any photoshoot, like it was just free week. So I was like, you know, I'm just gonna seize this moment, right? I'm gonna have to be home alone anyway. I kinda need to get out of town, let's just do it.

So I looked into traveling to New York, figured out if that was something I could do right now safely and legally and all of that. And it looked like something that was very possible. And so I started planning the trip. And immediately I felt really good. and immediately I felt really good because prior to planning this trip, I was in a really serious lull, but also a depressive episode too. I mean, I was kinda going through it and I don't really know why, you never really know why,

but I was just in a rough spot, but immediately as I started to plan this trip, it gave me something to be excited about. Because I hadn't been excited about something in months. And this was something that was all for me. I was doing this all for me. And it felt really good to finally be taking initiative and finally do something for me.

You know, it felt really good. initiative and finally do something for me. You know, it felt really good. And so I was super excited. Planning the trip was obviously complicated because right now in this climate, of course, there's a lot more precautions that you need to take and stuff like that. But I was so motivated to do everything

and cover all my bases so that I could go on this trip. And that was exciting too, because I had had no motivation to do anything besides exist for months. Like I couldn't shower, I couldn't, I didn't want to cook, I didn't want to clean my house, I didn't want to cook. I didn't want to clean my house. I didn't want to do anything.

But seeing myself be motivated to do somewhat, tedious things like going and getting COVID tests or filling out online forms, I was motivated to do that. And that may seem like a small victory, but it was like cool to see, okay, wait, Emma, you aren't down that bad. You know what I mean? You actually are motivated by the right things right now.

You're just not, your life just doesn't have exciting things going on in it that make you feel motivated. If that makes sense, it proved to me that, okay, if I find something that excites me, I still have drive in me somewhere. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyways, I'm getting a little bit, I'm getting a little wordy over here,

but I finally felt excited. And so this was great. But another reason why I wanted to go was because my social battery was severely drained. Now what I mean by that is my ability to be social in any capacity, not just in person, but also over the phone. On social media, even, was just gone. I could not answer people's phone calls. Like I could not interact with people. And I've been struggling with this for upwards of six months now, just not having it in me to have a conversation, because conversations drain me more than they uplift me, and so I just couldn't find a reason to be social really in any capacity. And I was trying, but it just wasn't working. My social battery, empty, gone, it's been gone, whatever.

But the appeal of going to New York was, okay, if I go to New York and I don't answer my phone, that's at least a more valid excuse than, oh, I just don't want to talk to you right now because that had been my excuse for the past four months. And so it was almost like this relief, right? Where being in New York would make me feel better about ignoring everybody. And that might not be a great coping mechanism,

but it was so appealing to me to relieve that pressure. I also don't know anybody in New York. Nobody's gonna ask me to hang out. Nobody's gonna, you know, see me at the grocery store and be like, hey, what are you doing later? Like, which, none of that, you know what I'm saying? Just me, by myself, and a bunch of strangers, and that was just so tempting to me. But I also think that my social batteries drained because of social media and I know, oh, don't even get me started. I know the last thing that anybody wants to hear about is the effects of social media on our brains.

Because guess what, we've all been talking about it for years, for months, for weeks, whatever, everybody's sick of it. It's such a stale conversation, I know. Whenever somebody starts a conversation or starts a sentence with, yeah, and do the social media, shut the fuck up, trust me, I know, it's so frustrating to me as well, I hate it.

But I watched the social dilemma, which is a documentary on Netflix about social media and the effects that it has on your brain and how it's extremely addictive and whatever. And they were talking about how it's not natural for humans to have access to what everybody's doing and to have access to opinions of everybody at any given time. And I might be butchering this because I watched it a week ago or so, but they were mentioning something about how

humans are kind of instinctually wired to listen to what other people have to say. Because a long time ago, before, far before social media, we were in tribes in a way or families. Like that's how we lived our lives. That was our community. And it was tight knit. And so you would listen to what your community was saying. You'd listen to what your tribe was saying. And that meant something to you. But now we're

wired to listen to our community, listen to our tribe in a sense. But it's on such a larger scale because we're seeing comments from bazillions of people seeing posts from bazillions of people, and that's not natural. It's not natural to have to process that many people's actions and that many people's opinions. It's just not natural, and it creates so much anxiety, and it makes you feel drained, because you're just not wired to be analyzing that many people. And so I think that that's why you can go on your phone all day and see nobody,

but you'll extremely drain socially by the end of the day, because you've been on social media all day, and you're kind of in a weird way being social, but not directly. And it drains you. And I think that that's what I was dealing with. I was feeling this exhaustion socially, but it was confusing because I wasn't actually hanging out with really anybody.

So it didn't really make sense to me. I was like, why am I so drained for no reason? But then watching that documentary made it all make sense to me. And so I was just feeling severely drained. So not only did I want a way to escape the responsibility of having to hang out with people or talk to people, but I also wanted a fun new environment that could distract me from going on my phone

because I am severely addicted to it as we all are. Anyway, this episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like what if I get into a fender bender?

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Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point. Then, at whatever you need to show off your ideas to get your side hustle on, you've got all the tools you need to sell products, schedule appointments, and send email campaigns to your mailing list. Plus, everything is optimized for mobile, so it looks just as good on a phone as it does

on a desktop. Check out Squarespace.com for more features and inspiration, and when you're ready to build your site, use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Another reason why I went was because I feel like a change of pace, that could mean so many different things, but a change of pace can really help recharge your brain. And especially if you're by yourself, having to navigate a new place by yourself is extremely, it's very stimulating on your brain because I know when I'm in LA, I have a routine, I have my set few people that I talk to

and it's so easy to just sink into that routine and kind of become a robot, to be honest. And I've definitely become a robot. And it's just going to a new environment and having to figure it all out is exciting. And it taps into parts of your brain that you're not using on a day-to-day basis because you're out of your routine. And I think that that was something I really needed. But now let's talk about what I was concerned about going on this trip

by myself because I can imagine, you know, I feel like I'm a pretty independent person and I was having these concerns. You know, I mean, independent, not in the sense of like, yeah, I'm independent, independent in a sense of, I spend a lot of time by myself and, you know, I'm an only child and whatever. So that kind of naturally made me more independent, but I still have these concerns. But for some people who maybe don't feel as comfortable being independent, which is totally fine, these concerns might even be amplified. But I'm here to comfort you and show you why you should be traveling alone.

So I'm trying to prove a point here. So my concerns were number one feeling stranded. I was getting anxiety prematurely before I even left on the trip about feeling like I was trapped there. And if I ended up not enjoying myself, I was scared of feeling like I couldn't leave because you know, I had a set date that I was going to leave and I could leave early, but I, there's reasons why you wouldn't want to do that. You know what I'm saying? It costs money. It's like, in inconvenience, whatever.

So I was worried about feeling trapped and that was kind of my anxiety speaking being like, well, what if you go and you have a terrible time and you feel trapped there? In reality, I could leave if I really wanted to. So that was a stupid concern, but it was there. The second one was just being bored in general. Like, is it gonna be boring not having people to talk to? Is it gonna be boring at night in the hotel room by myself? You know, watching TV, like, is it gonna be boring at night in the hotel room by myself? You know, watching TV, like is that gonna be depressing?

And boring? I don't know. I was also concerned about having FOMO in a sense, and I don't really feel like I get FOMO anymore, I kind of grud of it. Fear missing out. I feel like I don't really worry about missing out anymore because I'm just too tired, which is honestly, it's like what's worse, I guess, but I don't really get

filmo anymore, but I was worried that I was going to because maybe something fun was gonna happen in LA. Like, they were gonna have super big avocados at the farmer's market. I don't know, but I was worried that I was going to feel like I was missing something. I also was worried about not feeling safe. In a way, like, being there by myself, I was worried that I wasn't going to feel safe enough to go and explore by myself, which is one of the things that you don't really know if you're going to experience that or not once you're there. So that was a concern.

And last but not least, I was concerned that I wasn't going to have the confidence to go out and about by myself and truly get the most out of the trip. I was scared that I was just going to kind of give up and just stay in my hotel room the whole time, which to me it was going to be a failure because I wanted to explore and try new foods and try new restaurants and try new coffee shops and just walk around. Like that's what I was so excited about. And to me, a failure would be, you know, just to stay in my hotel the whole time because it's like, well, why wasn't I just in my own bed?

God damn it. So I was concerned that my own mind was gonna get in the way and I wasn't going to go explore and do what I plan to do because it takes mental energy to go out and explore especially by yourself. When you have other people around, it's so much easier because they're like, oh, I want to go out and explore, especially by yourself. When you have other people around, it's so much easier because they're like, oh, I wanna go see that Empire State Building.

Oh, I wanna go try this new restaurant. Oh, I've been wanting to go to this thrift store and then next thing you know, like everybody else planned everything for you and you're just going along for the ride. And then maybe at some point, you might be like, oh, actually, I wanted to go in here. And then it's like, you get to explore a lot

because there's so many people that want to do so many different things if you're traveling in a group. But when you're traveling by yourself, it's like you have to motivate yourself to want to go see things or go experience things. And that's sometimes a little bit more difficult, especially if you're in a low mentally. But I can tell you that number one,

I never felt stranded. I never felt bored. I never had FOMO. I only maybe felt unsafe like once, and that's because I was walking around late at night, which is scary, but that's also normal. And I ended up motivating myself to get out and go and walk a lot every single day.

I really was determined to make the most of it. And I mean, I did lay in bed for hours on end here and there just because I would get tired. But like, I felt okay about that because in moments when I had enough energy, I was getting up and I was doing it. I was making the most of it and it was great. I gained a lot from this trip. And so naturally I need to tell you what I gained from this trip.

Number one, I really felt truly independent because normally in my, you know normally in LA, I feel independent because I'm by myself a lot, but I also don't feel independent, because my family lives an hour flight away from me. They can literally, if I have a meltdown, they can book a flight and be here in an hour, or they could hop in the car and be here in five hours. So there's definitely a lifeline there. But also I have,

you know, my few friends in loved ones here that are a support system for me and they live even closer to me five to ten minutes. So if I have some sort of meltdown or I'm feeling lonely, or whatever, I can call them and be with them within 10 minutes. So, as independent as I am, I kind of have a lifeline here. You know, I feel like I can fall back on my support system so easily in LA because everybody's so close by. Whereas being in New York, I was completely alone. I couldn't just go and hang out with somebody late at night because I felt lonely or sad.

I kind of had to fend for myself mentally in that way. I mean, and I could always give somebody a call, but it's different. And so I felt fully independent for the first time in a really, really long time, possibly even a year. It's been that long. And it felt empowering to prove to myself,

okay, I don't need anybody else to comfort me. I can comfort myself. You know what I'm saying? I don't need to go hang out with a friend when I get upset. I can actually be upset by myself and comfort myself. And that's a really important skill to have. Comforting yourself. But it's not an easy thing to do. You know, it takes a lot of practice, but I think when you get thrown into it by going and traveling by yourself,

you can actually learn a lot quicker because I had no temptation to go hang out with anybody or see anybody that I love. And I was less apt to call my mom or dad or my friends because I was like, no, Emma, you need to handle this by yourself. You're on this trip by yourself. Handle your discomfort or handle your sadness by yourself

and see if you can do it. And that was just so empowering, because I would end up comforting myself, whether it was by listening to music or doing my skincare routine or writing in a journal, whatever it may have been, I had to figure out how to soothe myself myself. And proving to myself that I can do that

is really comforting, because at the end of the day, you only really have you. And so feeling confident in your ability to comfort yourself can really help alleviate anxiety because you're not relying on other people to alleviate your anxiety. And that's a really important thing. And I feel like being on a trip by myself helps reinforce that within myself. But it also proved to myself that I can have fun by myself because I always feel like I

need certain people in order to have fun. I don't mind spending time alone and in fact, it can be really pleasant, but I don't necessarily have fun by myself. That's like a whole different thing. Having fun is a lot harder to come by. Being calm by yourself or being relaxed by yourself or having a decent time by yourself is great in itself, but actually having fun by yourself

is a whole nother level. I actually had fun days by myself when I was in New York, and I proved to myself that I can have fun by myself. I think the main reason why I was having fun was because I could do whatever I wanted. You know, there was nobody saying, oh, I want to eat at this restaurant. Oh, I want to see this sculpture in this park. Oh, I want to go see this museum. It was up to me. Like, I could go do whatever I wanted. Listen, I don't like museums that much. They're

great in all. But like, that's not something I want to do by myself. So guess what? I don't like museums that much. They're great and all, but that's something I want to do by myself. So guess what, I didn't go and see museums. I like going for a walk. That's what I really like to do. I like to go out and I like to walk and just enjoy the outdoors. That's something I really like doing. And so I was able to walk for as long as I wanted, for as many miles as I wanted, and walk to any part

of New York that I wanted. And whenever I got hungry, I would go eat lunch. Whenever I got hungry, I would go eat dinner and I could go eat wherever I wanted. And nobody was saying, oh, I don't wanna eat there. Oh, I don't wanna walk there. And listen, there's amazing things that come with traveling with people.

And I totally know that, and I'm not saying that traveling with people is bad But I'm just saying that I was truly able to have fun by myself because I made my own itinerary And if I would get tired and want to go back to my hotel room, I would do it If I wanted to eat dinner at 10.30 p.m. I could do that if I wanted to Wake up at four in the morning and go for a walk, I could do that. It was like, I got to do whatever I wanted and there was no outside voice, no outside opinion.

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whether you're just taking a stroll through your neighborhood, traveling, or slogging through back-to-back meetings. And with just one stick of LiquidIV's hydration multiplier, you can hydrate two times faster than water alone and get three times the electrolytes as leading sports drinks. I have been drinking liquid IV actually for many years now. And I've used liquid IV for so many different things. When I'm hungover, after a long plane ride,

when I'm really dehydrated, when I have a headache sometimes, I'll sip on liquid IV and it can really help. When I'm sick, when I just need a little boost, liquid IV is almost always in my bag, almost always. And my favorite flavor, if anyone is wondering, watermelon and passion fruit, although there are a lot of great flavors, but those are my most commonly consumed.

And the interesting thing about liquid IV is that my preferred way to drink it is to pour it into a water bottle with lukewarm water and chug it. So not sure what that says about me. Grab your liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code anything at checkout. That's 20% off anything when you shop better hydration today using promo code anything at liquidiv.com. Another really interesting thing that happened was while I was in New York by myself,

I did a lot of self-reflection. But instead of doing self-reflection on myself, my own personality because I do that kind of a lot, because I'm alone so much, it was more about my life as a whole. So when I was there, I found myself looking at all the different areas of my life, where I live, you know, who I surround myself with, how I structure my actual life day to day.

And I was actually able to look at that from a bird's eye view, which I haven't done in a really long time. Again, probably six months to a year, where I fully was thinking about how I structure my life. And it made me realize, you know, I don't know if I want to live in the heart of L.A. anymore, you know. I don't know if that's for me. That was something I never really realized until I was away from my own life. I was able to realize, wait, I don't know if I want to live in LA anymore.

It also made me appreciate the people in my life that I love a lot because I was able to see it from a bird's eye view and see how they positively impact my life. But I was also able to see how certain people make me feel bad, you know, and don't align with where I'm at in my life. And that was also really important, you know, to see, okay, you know what, maybe I don't want to put up with this person anymore. Maybe I just kind of want to cut this thing off, you know,

like I was able to make those realizations. And nothing drastic, but I just was able to see everything from a bird's eye view, you know? I realized that I feel really good when I go and a walk every day. And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna try to incorporate that into my life in LA. And I just was able to really analyze everything. I also was off my phone a lot. I didn't post on social media. I wasn't really looking at social media.

I would on accident, but then I would turn it off. That lasted for the first about four days that I was there. And then after that I kind of gave up because I was like, okay, I want to post TikToks and I want to post Instagram photos that I took. Like, you know, at a certain point, I was like, okay, I kind of want to share my trip because that's like naturally wired in my head.

You know what I'm saying? It's weird because nobody actually cares that much about what you're doing, but I felt this like drive to share what I was doing with the internet and it was kind of overwhelming actually. At one point I was like oh my god I want to post this photo I took this beautiful photo of a bagel and I was like god I want to post this so bad and I was like Emma

Why the fuck do you care this much about posting this stupid photo of this stupid bagel? The bagel was not stupid. It was literally the most delicious thing I've ever read in my life to be honest But no you get what I'm saying. Why did I feel so antsy to post this photo of the stupid bagel? It doesn't make any sense. But at a certain point, I crumbled. I was like, no, I want to post. But I don't think posting is the negative part.

I think it's the scrolling that's the negative part. So I really tried not to look at anything. And that allowed me to just do so much more thinking, but also to enjoy everything for what it was. And in turn, my anxiety was a lot better. Not going on my phone constantly made me feel so much more calm and so much more level headed. And it was a really beautiful thing.

And I told myself when I was on this trip, I was like, Emma, when you get back home, you're not gonna go on your phone. You're gonna stick to this. You are going to limit yourself to a half an hour a day of scrolling and that's it. But that hasn't really happened. But I was determined when I was on this trip.

I was like, this makes me feel so good. You need to stick to it. But of course, the second I got back, it was just like everything that I had, everything that I had worked on went back to. Square one. But I do think that I planted a seed in my own head while I was there.

And that's step one. I do think that I planted a seed in my own head while I was there. And that's step one. So, anyway, that is what happened. That's what I learned, that's what I experienced. I think traveling alone is so important, and it's something I really want to incorporate into my life so much more, because I think it's so much more powerful than I would have thought. But I also think that it's what you make of it. Like if you go on a trip by yourself and you don't motivate yourself to get out of bed

and you just go on your phone the whole time that you're there and stay in your hotel room, you're not going to have a profound experience. But if you force yourself to stay off your phone and you force yourself to get up every day and make the most of the day, you're inevitably going to have a good time and you're inevitably going to realize things about your life that you wouldn't have otherwise because you're breaking the routine and you're doing something different. This is something I really wanna start doing, because I like traveling, I do. I mean, I have a love-hate relationship with it

because it's really physically demanding in a sense. Like, it takes a lot out of you to travel and I envy people that are super resilient to traveling. They can just, you know, sit on a plane for 15 hours to Australia and, you know, spend three days in Australia and then go to Japan and then go to, you know, France right after. And they just are fine. Like I am not like that at all. like I get drained emotionally and physically very easily for some reason, but I Do enjoy traveling and I feel like I always wait up for everybody else to have a free schedule or to Be excited about the idea of going on a trip to go in a trip and that ends up

idea of going on a trip to go on a trip. And that ends up meeting I rarely travel, you know, for pleasure anyways. And now that I know that traveling alone can be so fun, I want to start doing it more because you only live one life, right? And why wait up on everybody else to have experiences? You can't. You can't do that. You'll wait your whole life to have experiences. If you want to experience something, chances are you might have to experience it by yourself because waiting up for other people may mean that you'll never actually get to experience it. So, I'm going to start traveling alone more. Like, I've been really wanting to go to Portland, Oregon for a long time, but I've been waiting for somebody to want to go with me. No, now, when the time is right, maybe I'll go to Portland, Oregon by myself, because I don't want to wait up for anybody anymore. You know? I don't know.

It's just I learned that fuck waiting for everybody. Fuck waiting up for the for everybody. Fuck it. Okay, so I asked you guys to ask me questions about alone time and you guys sent me some great questions. So that's what we're going to get into now. Somebody said, whenever I'm alone, I always end up daydreaming about being a character in the shows that I watch. And I'm never present in reality. I guess I'm trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. Is that normal? Totally. I mean, obviously, I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a doctor. Like, I don't know what's normal or what is in, but I can say that I totally relate. I do this too.

You have a muse in your head, in a sense. You'll daydream about whatever. You'll daydream about your crush. You'll daydream about having the life that you wish you had. You'll daydream about your crush, you'll daydream about having the life that you wish you had. You'll daydream about so many different things. I don't think that that's harmful, but I also think that it is important during your alone time to do a little bit of self-reflection based in reality too.

And if that's something you struggle with doing naturally because naturally you distract yourself, I would recommend journaling. I really think journaling helps because it forces you to be honest with yourself because whenever something hits the paper, you're more likely to be honest when you're writing something down on paper than if you're

just ruminating in your own head. A lot of weird shit can happen when you're just ruminating in your own head. But if you have a solid notebook and a solid pen and you just start writing, I can guarantee that that'll be more honest and more rooted in reality. So I would recommend journaling. And you can even use prompts, you know, like, what do you want to change about your life? What's going right in your life? What's going wrong in your life? And you can answer these questions in the form of prompts. There's a lot of great workbooks too that you can buy on Amazon or wherever the fuck. And that'll guide you on your journaling journey.

But I think that that really helps. Somebody said how to motivate yourself to do something else from sleeping or watching TikToks or YouTube while being alone. My dad and I talk about this all the time because we both struggle with this. Once you get into bed and once you start scrolling on TikTok, you have to break the cycle. You have to break the cycle because you'll just keep going.

TikTok and Instagram and YouTube are all made to be extremely addictive. You have to break the cycle in almost a harsh way, or else you'll just go back to it. So something that I'll do is I'll go on a walk. That's something I never did before. I like dappled and going for walks, but I'm really getting into it now. I really like going on walks.

I think it's really, really helpful. If you put your AirPods in, put your headphones in, whatever, turn on some music and just go for a walk for 15 minutes and you don't go on your phone. It doesn't need to be an hour long walk. It doesn't even need to be a 15 minute walk. Maybe it's just a 10 minute walk. Maybe it's just a five minute walk.

It doesn't matter, but it's getting you off your phone for a period of time so that you break the cycle. And then when you get back home, you can do something else. You can maybe cook yourself a meal, maybe bake something, maybe start working on your homework or start working on work stuff that you've been putting off.

But the first step is to break the cycle. start working on your homework or start working on work stuff that you've been putting off. But the first step is to break the cycle. So you just need to find anything that you can possibly do for five to 30 minutes that will break that cycle and get you off of TikTok for a period of time so that you can kind of re-root and then now you can go do something else. I also just ordered a few books on Amazon and I'm going to start reading because when I'm in bed, I don't know what else to do than to go on my phone, then to go on YouTube, then to watch a documentary. That's all I know how to do in bed.

But inevitably, we're going to spend a lot of time in bed. We're human beings and we need to recharge. So I'm literally gonna start fucking reading books. I know I can't believe it either. I don't know who I'm becoming. I'm changing. But I just want the quality of my life to be better. And so at this point I'm desperate. I can't spend as much time as I am on my phone anymore and have a good life. I'm realizing that.

My life is shitty because I go on my phone so much. It's a huge part of my depression and my anxiety. All the science in the world proves that and backs that up. A lot of my issues are rooted in my phone addiction, like almost all. And when I have a break from my phone for a period of time, it's evident that that is a root of a lot of my problems. Or at least it exacerbates the,

you know, already existing problems. Like a lot of anxiety and depression, that's there, that's gonna be there. And that's something that is unavoidable for many people and myself included. But the phone makes it worse. And social media makes it worse. So my ass is gonna start reading books.

I ordered two. They're coming today. I'm excited. I'm nervous because I literally don't even know if I remember how to read. Like I'm not fucking with you guys. Like I don't know if I know how to read still. Because I haven't read in so long that I'm like scared

that the vocabulary is gonna be too complicated for me and I'm not gonna know how to read it. Like I'm genuinely nervous about that, but regardless, I'll let you know how it goes. But I think reading is so good. I think it's so good and it's so much better. And yeah, it's kind of weird and old fashioned, but I am desperate at this point.

I know, it's funny, I like reading is almost, it feels old fashioned now. It shouldn't, but it does. Somebody said, what if you're becoming too obsessed with being by yourself? You know, for me personally, I find when I'm getting really obsessed with being by myself and I like just don't want to be around anybody.

It's not because there's something wrong with me. It's not because I hate everybody necessarily. It's because that's what I need in that moment. And eventually, I will end up wanting to be social again if I give myself the alone time that I need. I only get obsessed with alone time that I need, I only get obsessed with a alone time when I need it. And my brain needs it to help me grow, you know. Your body and your mind will subconsciously make you do things sometimes when they

need it. You know, you might accidentally fall asleep during class. It's because you're exhausted and you need to sleep. You know, you might isolate yourself from everybody else because you need that time to recharge or to grow or to work something out. You know, I feel like you sometimes need to trust your intuition and your body's intuitive nature at times. If it's telling you that you need to be alone, then you need to be alone.

And eventually, you'll wanna be social again. It'll happen, it's just not the right time right now. So I would say be patient with yourself. If you're obsessed with being by yourself right now, write it out. I can guarantee you'll probably end up wanting to be social again pretty soon. Somebody said, what are some of your favorite things

to do by yourself? Recently, I love going on walks. I love listening to, this isn't really like, a, this is more really like, you know, a, this is more of a mindless thing, but I like to listen to podcasts that are educational, whether it's about like science or politics or psychology, whatever.

I like to listen to those while I'm doing something else, like while I'm doing my to those while I'm doing something else, like while I'm doing my chores or while I'm cooking or while I'm cleaning. And I really enjoy that, actually. Like I know that that sounds weird because it's like, okay, Emma, you're doing chores in listening to like an educational podcast that sounds like hell.

But there's something really nice about it because it's like, I'm being productive but I'm also listening to something that's productive and It's soothing in a weird way. I don't know why that is. I think as I'm getting older I'm enjoying cooking and cleaning and Doing chores a lot more which is nice because finally makes my life a lot easier to kind of enjoy it But I really like doing that. I also like to exercise by myself. Exercising socially is great too, but going for a jog or doing a little weight workout or something makes me feel good because I'm releasing endorphins, but it's also

kind of meditative in a sense when you work out by yourself, maybe even in silence or with relaxing music, it's great. It gives you something to do with that's productive, but it also makes you feel good afterwards. You know, when you sweat in any way, or move your body in any way, just feels good. So I like to exercise by myself. I also been stretching recently. Like stretching for probably 10 minutes a day. I really enjoy that because again, it's kind of meditative,

but it's also useful because it feels good. And then obviously, you know, sometimes I'll watch a documentary or that's pretty much it. I mean, it's simple, it's nothing too crazy. But going on a walk is my new favorite thing. Oh my God, I also love going to the grocery store by myself. That's a new thing that I really like to do. I love going to the grocery store. Sometimes I'm not in the mood,

but like when I'm in the mood, my God, it's my favorite thing. I love it. I don't know what I am turning into a middle-aged woman. Like I'm not kidding. I swear I skipped a few steps and I became a middle-aged woman over the course of COVID. Like I literally went from rowdy teen girl to middle-aged mother in a year. I go to bed at 9.30. My bedtime gets earlier every night. I woke up this

morning at 7. I'm turning into a mother. It's not good. Oh, I've also been laying in the sun recently. That's really nice. If it's warm where you live, go out and get a little vitamin D where your sunscreen though, although I've been forgetting to wear sunscreen. So I'm literally wrinkling as we speak. Somebody said, how can I spend time with just my thoughts? I feel like I always need some sort of distraction, like music, social media, Netflix podcasts, etc. Well, I would say that's pretty normal, but I think that this leads us back to journaling or reading or even meditating. You don't need to spend a lot of time just completely in your own thoughts, but spending 10 minutes journaling, spending 10 minutes meditating. That goes a long way. Then after that,

That goes a long way. And then after that, you can return to your podcast or your music. I wouldn't recommend returning to the social media part. But after you meditate, it's like you can go and listen to a podcast and you can listen to music or you can watch a fun thing on Netflix and feel a little bit better about it because you did put in that work, you put in that time by yourself and it doesn't need to be long but it's very useful. I would also recommend looking into

different forms of media or entertainment that's actually like educational rather than just entertainment because then at least you're learning something that's what I found like don't get me wrong I will watch junk food on the internet sometimes drama videos I mean it's inevitable it shows up in my explorer page, I have to click it, whatever. You know, I'll watch just like content that maybe like isn't useful or doesn't teach me anything or doesn't make me feel good. I watch that stuff all the time. But it's balancing it with also stuff that's, you know, useful. Like, I'll listen to a podcast about the ocean for like an hour. And if the person that's talking is interesting, then it's great because I just, you know,

spent an hour being entertained fully, but in a way that is actually enhancing my life and my knowledge of the world and such. So it's about balancing, you know. Somebody said, how do I explain to people that I enjoy spending time alone? I struggle with this myself because I will not call people back. I love doing that, you know, I will. Not hang out with people for months. I will ignore people, I will.

And it's just, and it's not even personal. It's just because I want to be by myself for a while. Or maybe I just only have energy to nurture a few relationships in my life at that time. Maybe that's like a significant other or my best friend and just my parents. Maybe that's all I have the energy to deal with. That's all I have the energy to nurture. It's just those handful of relationships.

So for anybody else, I just don't have the energy. You know, the way that I justify it is I just say, listen, you're awesome, you're great, but I'm so overwhelmed right now, I have a lot going on. I just, I can't be good friend to you right now. I mean, I'll be honest if I need to. But another thing I do is I'll just ignore them, to be honest. I'll ignore them. And then when I have the energy to interact with them again, I'll explain, hey, I was going through a time there where I just needed a lot of alone time, but I'm back, I'm ready to hang out if you're free and if you're down or whatever. And people are generally pretty understanding. If you just say, listen, I needed my alone time and I'm here,

like now I wanna be here and nurture this friendship, but I just didn't have it in me before, sorry about it. I can, most people are very open-minded, they don't really care that much and they're just happy that you're talking to them now. And that's great. But if they don't understand and they're like, well, it's obviously personal

that you don't wanna hang out with me, like what the fuck? You'd be like, well, it's obviously personal that you don't want to hang out with me, like, what the fuck? You'd be like, no, it's not personal. I just don't maybe have as large of a social battery as you and I need a lot more time to recharge and I don't have the energy to be a good friend right now to everybody. Sorry. And if they don't understand that, then they're just not empathetic enough, you know?

Anyway, that's all I got, y'all. That's all I got for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you did, let me know. You can tweet me at AG Podcast, or leave a little review on Apple Podcasts. Whatever floats your boat. This episode, I feel like I was fucking on one. So I'm sorry, I just was really, like my brain was just moving.

Like it was just on one, it was just on one, and sometimes when that happens, I can't stop it. So here we are, but I love hanging out with you. I really appreciate you, and I appreciate you coming back every week if you do. You can follow us on the Twitter at AG Podcast if you wanna participate in the episodes. Let me know what you want me to talk about next.

And the moral of the story is, go on a trip by yourself. I think it's really, really good. And the moral of the story is, go on a trip by yourself. I think it's really, really good. Have an amazing week. Love you all. Bye.