anything goes with emma chamberlain - what makes someone "stylish?" [video]

Episode Date: August 6, 2023

[video available on spotify] we all know stylish people, and it's easy to decide whether or not someone's stylish just by looking at them. it's pretty obvious. but it's much harder to describe what makes somebody stylish, or why somebody is stylish. so today i want to discuss what truly makes someone stylish. but here's something i want to discuss before we even get into it; not everybody wants to be stylish or looks at clothes as a way to express themselves. and that's okay too. but if you're into fashion and expressing yourself in that way, it can be an incredible hobby. but it’s just not mandatory, and it's not for everyone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all have at least a few stylish people in our lives. Whether it's a friend or it's a person we follow on Instagram or it's an enemy, it sucks when your enemy is stylish. Listen, I don't endorse having enemies. I'm not a fan of the concept, but it happens. Okay, we all have enemies every once in a while. And wow, does it fucking suck when our enemy is stylish? There's just something about it like it just sucks.

It sucks extra bad. I don't feel like I need to elaborate. It's self-explanatory, but wow, a stylish enemy. That hurts. It just sucks. Anyway, we all know stylish people. And it's easy to decide whether or not someone's stylish just by looking at them. It's pretty easy. It's pretty obvious. The answer sort of presents itself. It's almost like a feeling. When you look at someone,

you just get this feeling like, yeah, they're stylish. And I'd argue it's pretty easy to come to that conclusion. But it's much harder to describe what makes somebody stylish. Why somebody is stylish. And so today, I want to discuss what truly makes someone stylish. And hopefully in the process, we can all learn something about our own personal style if that's something that we give a fuck about. Because here's something I want to discuss

before we even get into it. Not everybody wants to be stylish. And being stylish doesn't make you a better person. Not everybody looks at clothes as a way to express themselves. Some people just look at clothes as a way to cover up their private parts and stay warm in the winter. You know what I mean? And that's okay too.

But if you're into fashion, you're into clothing, you're into expressing yourself in that way. It can be an incredible hobby. It can be an incredible tool to express yourself. And that's a magical thing. But it's not, it's not mandatory. It's just not mandatory. And it's not for everyone. So anyway, now that we got that out of the way. So I want to start out with some misconceptions around what makes someone stylish because there are definitely quite a few.

Because style is so abstract, we can sometimes mistake things that are not stylish for being stylish, because yeah, the concept is so abstract. There's no specific list of rules. And so first we're going to attack that. The first misconception is that having expensive or designer clothes makes you stylish. I think most people automatically think, yeah, obviously, but it's not always obvious, right? When we see somebody roll up in a full designer outfit with logos popping off everywhere, whatever. We can automatically think, oh, well, that person is stylish. And it's because this sort of overwhelming display of wealth can be so striking and so attention grabbing that it can almost trick you into thinking that it's

style. When in reality, it's just a sign of wealth. That's all that it is. I think that's why the saying exists. Money can't buy taste because for an instant, money can convince people that you have taste because expensive clothing, designer clothing is known to be the top tier, you know, the most elevated, the most trend setting. But when it comes to all of the logos and all of this and that, the price of someone's outfit has nothing to do with whether or not it's tasteful. And I'd argue sometimes a full designer outfit where every single piece is the price of, you know, an iPad or something. It's kind of cheating sometimes.

I'm not saying all the time, but I think a lot of times it is sort of like cheating because it's creating this wow factor that can so easily be mistaken for style. But when someone's just focused on the price of the clothing that they're wearing, a lot of times that priority when getting dressed in the morning can create an outfit that lacks individuality and lacks substance and lacks creativity. That's not to say that expensive clothing can't be stylish because of course it can. because of course they can, but so can non-expensive clothing. You know, style has nothing to do with how much the piece costs.

Someone could be wearing a fully thrifted outfit, right? The whole outfit in total costs less than $30, right? That outfit could be more stylish, and probably is more stylish actually. Then the outfit that's comprised of all expensive designer pieces and. It all comes down to whether or not you're taking a unique approach. Whether or not you're taking your time to style things. whether or not you're taking your time to style things in a way that feels creative and Genuine to you and what you want to express about yourself and that's simply that I

mean It's definitely a lot easier to go to an expensive store and pick out all of these hot trending items And to slap them together and call it a day because again this sort of and to slap them together and call it a day. Because again, this sort of illusion of style can just kind of be handed to you on a silver platter in that way. Whereas going to a thrift store, spending hours and hours searching through every single little piece and finding the little golden nuggets, takes a lot more time.

You're definitely not getting the illusion of style handed to you on a silver platter. I mean, it's a bit more time. You're definitely not getting the illusion of style handed to you on a silver platter. I mean, it's a bit more time consuming, it's a bit more challenging. But in a lot of ways, it's much more impressive to go into a thrift store and pick out a bunch of random things that are exciting to you and to put them together into an outfit that feels cohesive than it is to just go to a designer store and buy a full outfit and call it a day. You know, I would say it's much more impressive to go the other route. Another misconception is that more is more, right?

The more accessories you have on, the more layers of clothing you have on, the more stylish your outfit is. More definitely does not mean better, okay? Though taking a maximalist approach to your style can be totally intriguing and exciting and fun. It's not a marker of how stylish you are. It's almost like the more accessories you add, the more layers you add, the more unique your outfit is. And I think in a lot of ways that is true, right? A plain white t-shirt and plain pair of jeans

can look stylish and cool, but it's nothing super special or different, right? Whereas a white t-shirt with another gray t-shirt layered on top, and then jeans with a colorful belt and maybe like a little charm hanging off the belt may make an outfit feel a little bit more different, a little bit more unique. I think where the misconception lies is that you have to be sort of over the top. You have to create outfits that are busy and completely one of one to be stylish. But the truth is, more doesn't always mean better. You know, more doesn't always mean better, you know. When taking a sort of maximalist approach to fashion, things can feel cluttered at times,

aimless at times, messy at times, confusing at times. It doesn't always mean better. It can be great and super cool and exciting, but not always, and sometimes a super simple outfit can look really, really chic and cool and hot and fun. You know, it's all about, again, expressing yourself in a way that feels exciting and fresh to you.

If you wanna take a maximalist approach, it should be because it's something that makes sense to you. If you want to take a maximalist approach, it should be because it's something that makes sense to you. It's something that's clicking for you in your brain. When you look in the mirror, every accessory, every layer makes sense to you. You know, you shouldn't take the maximalist approach just because you think that that makes something more stylish because I don't think that that's the case. Next misconception is that when you're following trends in your fitting in your stylish. Now many stylish people pick up trends every once in a while because it can be fun and it can be inspiring and it can be exciting.

And it can be inspiring and it can be exciting. But I actually think a lot of times following trends too closely and too rigorously can be a sign that you don't have a sense of personal style necessarily. And there's nothing wrong with that, right? If you want to follow every single trend to a T and you want to stick to it and you're into it and that's that's your vibe. There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't know if that's necessarily being a stylish person. I don't know. It's kind of up for debate because some would argue that being sort of in tune with what's trending at the moment and copying all the current trends is the epitome of being

stylish. But I sort of disagree on a personal level. For me, style is about individuality, right? And I think my idea of a stylish person is somebody who sort of marches to the beat of their own drum. You know, does their own thing and picks up a trend here and there, but makes it their own when they do. So it doesn't even necessarily feel like this direct copy of a trend. It feels like a mere suggestion of a trend with this individual's personal twist on it. Another misconception is that bizarre and unusual automatically means stylish.

This is somewhat similar to expensive slash designer automatically means stylish. In the way that it's extreme in eye catching nature can sort of fool the mind into thinking, oh, this is stylish, this is fashionable because it's shocking and it grabs your attention. A lot of people look at weird and unusual clothes and assume just because they don't understand it, that it must be stylish. And that's definitely not the case. I mean, obviously, weird and avant-garde pieces can totally be stylish. But it comes down to how it's styled, how genuine it is to the person, and whether or not the person wearing it is confident and excited about what they're wearing. There's no such thing as like,

oh, if this, then that in fashion. Like if it's expensive, then it's fashion. If it's weird, then it's fashion. There is none of that with style. There's so much more nuance needed to determine whether or not someone is stylish or something is stylish. In the last misconception is that in order to be stylish, you must have a specific aesthetic that you stick to.

You must have your own code, your own manual, your own rulebook, and you must stick to it. You must be consistent. I think the reason why this gets mistaken for style is because, you know, sticking to one sort of vibe gives the impression that you know yourself, you know what you like, and you have a specific point of you and you stick to it. But I don't know, I just I don't really think that that's accurate. I'd argue that most stylish people are constantly experimenting. They're constantly going out of their comfort zone and trying new things and trying to reinvent themselves from an outward expression perspective, right?

Everyone has their thing, right? Like everyone has their personal preferences and their area of comfort, right? I would say for me personally, I tend to like sort of things that feel kind of preppy in a way. Like I love, I've always loved a sweater vest, I've always loved a dress pant. You know, I love loafers, I love a longer skirt. Like I tend to play in that world a lot, but I also really like to experiment and do

things that are the complete polar opposite of that. And in my opinion, experimenting doesn't mean that you are aimless and don't have a strong point of view. It just means that you're trying to develop your personal style even more. And yeah, I just don't think you have to stick to one thing and be consistent to be stylish. So I actually went on the internet and I googled what makes someone stylish because I was curious to see what the internet had to say. Now I have my own ideas about what makes someone stylish, but I wanted to see what the internet

had to say. And I pretty much agreed with everything that the internet had to say, although I feel that they missed a few things. Although the internet is very vast. So it's probably that I didn't look hard enough. But yeah, there were a few things I didn't see. So first we're going to talk about what the internet thinks makes someone stylish. And then I'm going to fill in some of the blanks with some of my own points of view. So number one, according to the internet, stylish people have clothing that fits them properly, clothing that's tailored to perfection. Now, I actually do agree with this. I think Now, I actually do agree with this. I think clothing looks best when it fits the way that it's supposed to. You know, it can completely change the way an outfit looks when a clothing piece doesn't

fit properly. And it's challenging because everybody's body is so different and finding clothes that fit you perfectly right off the rack can be really challenging. But I do think that it makes a huge difference, you know, making sure that your clothes fit properly, that your pants aren't too long, that your shirt's not too tight, that your blazer isn't too oversized, whatever it may be, I do think that that's an important detail, because it does make an outfit feel sharper, more chic, and I've started going to a tailor, especially for pants, because I just think pants are so, they are so complicated. Like pants will be too tight in the legs,

and then too loose in the butt area, or they'll be too long, or they'll be whatever. And I've started to go to the tailor to get my clothes perfectly tailored to me so that they don't just collect dust in my closet or they don't fit wrong when I'm you know wearing them out and that's been incredibly helpful but I do think that you know there's a way to shop mindfully so that you don't end up with a bunch of clothes in your closet that don't fit properly, shopping in person and trying things on kind of a lost, now that we all order things online constantly. And bringing things to the tailor to get them perfectly tailored to you, if that's something

that you have the energy to do. I mean, getting close tailored is also a bit expensive. And so if it's not something that you want to pay for, I think that's when being a mindful shopper and going and shopping in person and trying things on becomes the right way to go. You can also teach yourself to tailor things. Now listen, that's pretty tough. That's not an easy thing to do. You also need a sewing machine. But I will say I've been teaching myself how to hem things shorter. And it's been pretty nice. Like, if I get a pair of pants and they're too long, I just hem them myself.

I got a dress recently for a wedding that was way too long. And I was like, you know what, I'm just going to hem it myself. And I did. And listen, was it perfect? No. But it did the trick. I do think that this is a valuable point and it's something that I think makes someone more stylish when they're closed fit properly.

Although it's definitely one of the less exhilarating points, I think it is crucial to mention. Next, the internet said that stylish people receive a lot of compliments and are copied constantly I'm not fully sold on this one. I do think that yes, it is true probably 90% of the time, but I do think that there are a lot of stylish people who get little to no recognition, maybe because their particular style is too odd or unusual to be broadly enjoyed and appreciated. I don't think that a large number of people need to look at your style and think, wow, that's really good. In order for it to be good, just because people don't understand your style or don't want

to copy your style doesn't mean that you're not stylish. It might just mean that you're going down a path where if you can follow. And I think that that is the epitome of style in a way, going in a direction where a few can follow. And as long as it's genuine to you and it's something that you're wearing with confidence, that's style. Although I would say it's more common to see stylish people receiving a lot of compliments and getting copied left and right. Because most stylish people aren't going off in a direction that few can follow.

Most stylish people are dressing themselves in a way that's exciting to them and new and fresh for them. And a lot of times that type of styling can be inspiring to people who would have never thought to wear that type of outfit. But now that they're seeing it, they're like, oh, how have I never thought of that? I wanna do that. It makes sense. But I don't think that in order to be stylish,

you have to be receiving lots of compliments and you have to be copied constantly. I was happy to see that the internet also said that you can be stylish without spending a lot of money. This is so, so true. As I mentioned earlier, style has nothing to do with what's on the label. Style has everything to do with how it's put together. Style is about how you balance colors, fabrics, fits.

To make something that feels balanced and cohesive and intriguing and unique and expressive, you know, I can't express how often I'll be scrolling on Instagram and I'll see someone wearing an outfit that's clearly like fully thrifted, you know, that and then, you know, I'll look at that outfit and be like, wow, what a fucking masterpiece, you know, what a masterpiece of an outfit. That is just so special and so unique and so exciting and so exhilarating. And then I'll scroll a few more times and I'll see somebody wearing a full designer outfit

and I'm like, I'm bored, to be honest. I'm bored, I don't, this is like, yeah, this is nice, this is beautifully made and, you know, but it's not that exciting. And it doesn't strike me as super stylish. A good outfit is a good outfit. That's it. It has nothing to do with where things are from and blah, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't matter. It literally does not matter. In my opinion,

it does not matter. Next, the internet says that stylish people are confident in what they're wearing. confident in what they're wearing. This is definitely true. The thing is, style and fashion and trends, it's all kind of a figment of our imagination. When you look at the fashion world from a bird's eye view, it's almost silly how abstract the whole thing is, right? It's like, things are fashionable because we decide that they're fashionable. Someone is considered stylish because a lot of times we decide that they're stylish. It's very malleable.

There's no sort of fact in fashion because whether or not an outfit is good is sort of determined by the beholder who's looking at the outfit and also Who's wearing it right and and how they're wearing it? All of that plays a role in whether or not something is stylish like our own sort of ideas about things and Whether or not the person wearing the outfit is selling it in a way. Wearing an outfit with confidence is not an easy thing to do.

In order to wear an outfit with confidence, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in the outfit. You have to make it an extension of yourself. Otherwise it's almost impossible to wear an outfit with confidence. And I think the mere fact that that's a challenging thing to do makes it all the more valuable. People who perceive your outfit also have to perceive you at the same time. And if you're walking around confident in yourself and in what you're wearing, people are going to be like, wait, they have something figured out that I don't. You know what I mean?

This is working for them. This is making them feel good. This is allowing them to express themselves. I want to do that. I want to try that. I want to be like that. That's where the confidence works. It's magic. Not only does confidence show yourself that you're truly dressing for you and you're truly expressing yourself in a way that is authentic, but it's also showing the world that you believe in what you're wearing and that what you're wearing is making you feel good. And that means that it's stylish. Even if some people don't understand it or some people don't get it, you know, the internet

also said that stylish people dress to express themselves not to fit in. I already have touched on this many times today, so let's not do it again. But I think this is very, very true. We can become so hyper-focused on our community and what's deemed as cool and stylish in our community that we can become convinced that that's what stylish is to fit in within our tiny little corner of the world, right? Whether that's what everyone at our school is wearing, what everyone at our work is wearing, etc. But I think style is universal.

And we have so much access to fashion nowadays. We can watch runway shows online. We can find really cool, fashionable people online. We can watch YouTube videos. We can listen to podcasts. We have so much access to information about clothing and style and fashion. That I think that's something to consider if you love fashion and you want to take it to the next level, you know, look beyond your community, look beyond your circle and see what everyone

else is doing across the world and look back at history and see what people were wearing back in the day and pick and choose your favorite pieces in trends and color palettes and fabrics and pick all your favorite things and make a list in your mind and create something that's unique to you and dress to express yourself not to fit in. If that's something you wanna do. The internet also said that stylish people get inspired, but don't copy.

I literally just talked about this, but a truly stylish person will take little bits and pieces from everything that they like that literally exists. Okay, we're talking about things from history, we're talking about new things, we're talking about things from the runway, we're talking about things from someone that they saw on the street, and then take all their favorite little bits and pieces and then create something brand new that feels unique to them. And it might be reminiscent of some trends, but it is unique to them.

I think copying is crucial for learning, right? Especially with creative endeavors. You know, if you're learning how to paint, it's incredibly helpful to try to recreate one of your favorite paintings. You know, you're gonna learn a lot in the process. If you're learning how to play guitar, you have to learn how to play songs that already exist before you can go and write your own music.

I mean, copying is a crucial step when it comes to learning how to do things. And so it's so natural to copy trends directly and copy other people's outfits directly when you're trying to figure out your own personal style. But eventually you'll get to a point where you're kind of doing your own thing. And that's when you're really stylish. The internet also said that stylish people are selective about what trend they follow. I definitely agree with this. Following every trend is a sign that you just enjoy participating in what's popular. And that's totally fine.

Like there's nothing wrong with that at all. Enjoy yourself as long as you're being, you know, as smart of a consumer as you possibly can be and you're not being wasteful. I mean, if there's a way that you can participate in every trend and do it in a way that's responsible, fucking be my guest, who am I to judge? But I wouldn't say that that's a demonstration of personal style. There's just no individuality in following every trend. And style is kind of rooted in one's individuality in a way.

That's what makes someone stand out. And last but not least, the internet said that the ability to rewear pieces and make them feel new is a key characteristic of a stylish person. And I also completely agree with this. It takes a level of creativity to figure out a way to constantly be making old pieces feel new. And that's a crucial part of being stylish, you know, being creative and figuring out new ways to do things, to keep things feeling fresh and exciting for not only yourself, but also other people.

If you use clothing as a way to express yourself, you know, you're not expressing yourself just to look at yourself in the mirror, you're expressing yourself to tell others about you in a way. And being able to constantly reinvent yourself using a lot of the same pieces is sort of crucial because it's unrealistic to constantly be wearing a new outfit, to constantly be wearing new clothes. In a lot of times we have to get creative and figure out how to reinvent our old stuff. And so I agree. Now, as I mentioned earlier, there were a few things that the internet did not touch on that were in the back of my mind. I shockingly didn't see a lot about the art of building an outfit

and how that is crucial when deciding whether or not someone is stylish. In my opinion, stylish people put together outfits and have a vision. You know, they have direction. They put thought into their outfits and they're trying to create a sort of feeling with the clothes that they're wearing. And that might be through using more technical methods like following a color palette or taking inspiration from a specific movie or balancing different silhouettes of clothing so that things flow nicely and look cohesive, there's something to be said for an outfit that makes sense. Now, it doesn't need to make sense to other people, it just needs to make sense to you. But putting together a cohesive outfit that creates a certain feeling is honestly what makes someone fashionable to me. The ability to put together an outfit that balances clear vision in direction with uniqueness and individuality, with technical things like a color palette

or a methodical way of pairing pieces together based on the way that they fit and what their silhouette is, et cetera. You know, it's this like perfect balance that's constantly trying to be found. And that's what creates an outfit that is really special. As I mentioned earlier, I think somebody's stylish when they experiment. They get a little weird with it. They do something that they've never seen before and they throw things at the wall and see whether or not it sticks. And that comes with failure too.

Just because someone's stylish doesn't mean they're not going to put together an outfit that doesn't really work so well. Like, it's going to happen, right? But that's all a part of the journey. You know, that's how you develop your personal style even more. You gotta fail sometimes. You gotta try things that don't work. I think stylish people experiment.

I also think stylish people try to innovate in a way, whether that's through layering pieces in a way that's unique or that's DIY-ing things, like creating things themselves, you know, taking their old pieces of clothing and cutting it up and adding things and doing whatever to make it feel new, finding pieces from the thrift store that are so incredibly random. No one else could possibly have them. Just doing something that feels exciting and new by whatever means necessary. Now, that's what I think makes a stylish person stylish. Well, I guess it's not only what I think, it's also with the internet thought too.

We did do a big mega Google search for this one. Although a lot of those ideas were already in my head, I was curious to see what the internet would sort of provide me. And the internet did pretty good this time. Anyway, that's all I got for today. Thank you for hanging out. Thank you for spending your time with me. I really appreciate you and just love you and just hope that the rest of your day today is absolutely gorgeous. And if you want to hang out with me some more new episodes of anything

goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can follow anything goes on Instagram and anything goes. You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee, at Chamberlain Coffee on Instagram, Chamberlaincoffee.com, if you wanna go to the website, code AG15, if you want a little discount. Right now I'm drinking an iced matcha latte, okay. That was my fun drink of the day

using the Chamberlain coffee matcha, the wish. Yeah, that's all I have. Thank you again for hanging out. Can't wait to see you soon if you decide to come hang out again. All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye. Alright, I'll talk to you later. Bye.