anything goes with emma chamberlain - why do famous people choose to stay famous? [video]

Episode Date: April 16, 2023

[video available on Spotify] why do celebrities choose to stay famous? on the surface level, this question seems easy to answer because most of us look at fame as a dream come true. we see fortune, power, attention, praise. we see all of the positives. but yet, right in front of our eyes, we witness the way that fame ruins people's lives. it's safe to say that fame is much more complicated than we think it is on the surface level. as much as there are incredible elements of being famous that are life-changing and full of abundance, there are also sides of it that are so challenging that even all the money and abundance in the world can't heal those wounds at times. and so today i wanna try to answer the question, why do famous people stay famous? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do celebrities choose to stay famous? On the surface level, this question seems easy to answer, because most of us look at fame as something that is a dream come true. A lot of us look at fame with rose colored glasses. We see fortune, power, attention, praise. We see all of the positives. A lot of us think of fame as almost a form of enlightenment. Like you reach a whole new level of human. You've leveled up.

But yet, right in front of our eyes, we witness the way that fame ruins people's lives. On a daily basis, we see the struggles of celebrities due to their fame. And yet, we still believe that fame is a good thing. I think it's because, you know, maybe we have a tendency to look at things with rose colored glasses when we're not experiencing them.

Right? It's easy to romanticize something that you have and experienced. Let's say you have a crush on someone, but you don't really know them. Chances are you're going to start to build this person up in your head, romanticize them. Imagine them to be the perfect significant other

because you're filling in the blanks of their identity with your own projections of what you want in a person. But going back to what I was saying, you don't even have to look that hard to see the negative effects that fame has on celebrities. You don't have to look that hard. It's right in front of our eyes. It's safe to say that fame is much more complicated than we think it is on the surface level. And although it might seem easy to answer the question,

why do famous people choose to stay famous, I actually don't think it's as easy of an answer as we think it is. Because as much as there are incredible elements of being famous that are life-changing and full of abundance, there are also sides of it that are so challenging that even all the money and abundance in the world can't heal those wounds at times. And I'm in an interesting position myself because I have experienced a level of fame, but at the same time, I still have a relatively normal life in a lot of ways. I'm not at a point where I can't go to the grocery store

without being followed by paparazzi. I feel like the point I'm at now is not ruining my life. But I see celebrities at astronomically higher points who have had their lives in a lot of ways ruined, but yet they still choose to remain famous, and it's perplexing to me in a lot of ways, because financially, they're set. Like they don't need to make any more money. They have hundreds of millions of dollars,

sometimes even billions of dollars. What are they still in it for? Because from the outside looking in, I don't understand. And so today I want to try to answer the question, why do famous people stay famous? Let's start with some of the negative effects fame has on people. I would say the root of majority of the pain that celebrities experience

is the mass bullying. Anytime you put yourself in the public eye for anyone to see, you're opening yourself up to criticism and hatred in judgment from all angles. You're considered fair game in the eye of the public. Now I can't necessarily blame people for considering celebrities as fair game. Because it is the celebrity's choice to put themselves out there in a public way. They don't have to do that. Celebrities don't have to do that. If the bullying and hatred and judgment became too much,

they could stop. They could turn their phone off. They could stop auditioning for TV shows and movies. They could stop making music. They could just make music as a hobby. You know what I'm saying? Like, it is a choice to put yourself out there in a public way. And when you do that, you have to accept that people can say

whatever they want. And that is their right. And so as much as I don't think the people are at fault for speaking their minds, I also understand that it's an incredibly challenging part of being in celebrity. It's like no one's at fault in a way. I mean, obviously people who leave mean comments probably need to work through some issues because that's not a good thing to do.

You know, I don't admire that quality in a person. That's not admirable. I wouldn't condone somebody to do that, but at the same time, people are free to speak their minds and I never want to take that away from anyone, even if they're saying something negative. As long as they're not saying something dangerous, I don't really feel comfortable saying that

that's not okay, because that is their right. And I believe in that so it's complicated because as much as that is true it's brutal to be exposed to a lot of hatred. an unusual experience because when you're not in the public eye, you're probably not experiencing attacks from other human beings as often. But celebrities experience it on a mass level. You can get to a place where you're in the public eye and the bullying doesn't bother you as much, but I think it always affects you in some way. Even if it's just on a subconscious level, it's always in the back of your head.

I mean, the types of bullying that can happen to a celebrity are pretty extreme. For one, somebody can start a rumor about a celebrity, and it can get picked up by press, or picked up by fans on social media, and get spread like wildfire. And sometimes it's not true. It's another story when the rumor actually is true,

and it's not a rumor, it's actually a fact. But there are times when celebrities get their identities destroyed on the internet falsely. And that can be incredibly challenging for a celebrity because they feel like their identity is out of their control. It's in the control of the media. Also, I find that sometimes online bullying towards celebrities can be sort of imbalanced.

By that, I mean, they might do something cringey or they might do something kind of stupid. Now, this is not to say that every time a celebrity gets criticized, it's imbalanced because I think that there are times when celebrities make mistakes. And you know, I guess they're in the public eye and everybody's allowed to comment on it as they please.

And at times it does feel balanced. It's like, well, they made a really big mistake and this mistake feels balanced with the level of criticism that they're receiving. But I think a lot of times it feels imbalanced. You know, celebrities get bullied beyond a point that is necessary maybe there's also the potential for harassment online and in person, you know celebrities get harassed Followed People trying to find out where you live people trying to possibly even hurt you That's an incredibly terrifying form of this bullying and

I Think most celebrities kind of live in this state where they feel like everyone hates them even when their actual number of haters if you will Are pretty small Their voices are so loud in the mind of the celebrity that a lot of celebrities feel like the whole world hates them. And living in that state of mind is fucking miserable. This is an inevitable part of fame. This sort of online public bullying, right?

It's a part of the game. And if you wanna be famous in some way, you have to deal with this. And what's complicated about it is that it's the right of the people to speak their mind, but that doesn't mean that it's a healthy experience for the celebrity. But I also have to say that I wouldn't consider the celebrities to be a victim of this type of bullying. It's something that they experience, but I wouldn't consider them to be a victim. Because they are choosing to accept the fact that this comes with the career path that they have chosen. I consider someone a victim if they have no control over the harmful things that they

experience. Like they can't control it, you know, and it's happening to them and they can't escape it. Another negative effect of fame is that it has a tendency to really alter people's personalities in a negative, terrible way. A lot of celebrities start to form a massive ego. They start to develop narcissistic personality traits. They start to be known as a bad person. Not necessarily in the public eye, but more in their closer communities.

The thing is, you know, everybody says yes to celebrities. Everybody praises celebrities. And if celebrities aren't very very careful, celebrities. And if celebrities aren't very, very careful, they will begin to believe that all of this praise and reward is true. They will start to believe that they are better than everyone else, that fame did make them a better person, that they are more important in some way because of what they've accomplished on a public scale. And you can't do that. Like that is what takes a celebrity that is famous because they're so lovable and turns them into the complete opposite.

It's when the celebrity starts to believe in their own hype and you can't do that. Because the truth is, is that you aren't any better than anyone else just because you're famous. You should be proud of your accomplishments, but you're still a human being just like everyone else. You haven't reached God-like status. You are still a human being like everyone else. You still have to follow the fucking rules.

You still have to wait in line. You still sometimes. You still have to pay for things. you still have to poop and pee, you still have to treat people with kindness, you don't get to skip all that shit because you're a celebrity. But some celebrities do begin to believe this. And I think celebrities who experience this might feel good about it in the beginning, they might feel like, well, I deserve this. Like, I'm happy because I'm famous and I just get to do

whatever I want and have whatever I want, treat people however I want. And at first, maybe this works for them and they can be happy this way. But I think very quickly, they will start to feel terrible about themselves, but yet they can't stop. And that's a miserable place to be in, because they're enabled. There's no reason for them to stop. Once their egos get big and they adopt narcissistic tendencies and they become comfortable with not being a good person because they can get away with it. It's hard to turn that off because in some ways that's an easier way to live. It's kind of cheating your way through life. And if nobody's there to put you in your place and if the world kind of supports this bad behavior, you don't have any reason to change.

And so I think a lot of celebrities find themselves in this place, and deep down they know it's wrong, but they don't know how to fix it, because it's so much easier to just be a piece of shit sometimes. I think celebrities who get to this point have a hard time looking in the mirror, but they also have a hard time figuring out how to be better. And I think that's a really miserable place to be in mentally. Another negative consequence of fame is losing your soul. I know there's a saying

I know there's a saying that celebrities sell their soul to be famous because number one, you start to feel disconnected from your identity and from your soul when the majority of your identity lives in a digital form in the form of media. You start to feel disconnected from who you really are because you start to feel like you're not just confined to your physical body anymore. Now, your identity is taken on a whole new life in the form of your media output, whether you're an actor, a musician, a YouTuber, a podcaster, you lose touch with your identity at times because the whole world sees you one way. And there's no possible way that they can ever see the true real you without meeting you in person.

Celebrities experience a lot of confusion around their identity. You can start to forget who you are when it feels like everybody else has already decided for you who you are based on what they see of you in your public image. But I also think celebrities can start to go numb because of all of the grandiose sort of experiences that they get to have. Celebrities get to go to the fanciest events. They get to have the most fancy experiences. They have the money and resources to Do almost whatever they want You know they can they there there's a lot of money that comes with fame and so Celebrities just have this incredible amount of access to whatever they want they can buy whatever they want They can talk to whoever they want. They can talk to whoever they want. They get to go to whatever restaurant they want.

They get to rent a yacht for a week if they want. They get to do all this incredibly stimulating stuff and then they end up getting bored with it because we're always wanting more. Like humans are always searching for more. And once something becomes the new normal, you're always looking for more stimulation, something that will excite you even more. And I think celebrities actually hit a point where they don't know what is left to mentally

stimulate them. They have nothing to strive for anymore. There's no challenge in life. There's nothing to look forward to. They can just do whatever they want, whenever they want. And as much as this is a privilege and a blessing in so many ways, if you abuse it, which it's easy to do if you're a celebrity, then you

can find yourself feeling stimulated by nothing, nothing excites you anymore. Another negative of being a celebrity is they really struggle to find people who they can trust because there are a lot of people excited to take advantage of celebrities because they have a lot of money, they have a lot of connections, and a lot of people see that and they're like, well, I want a fucking piece of it. And so celebrities do get taken advantage of a lot. That's something I think that happens a little bit more behind the scenes, but it does absolutely happen. And I think a lot of celebrities become jaded

and paranoid socially because they constantly feel like they're going to be used. You know, it starts out a lot of celebrities are really generous and open-minded and loving and then they get burned enough times and they become jaded and they don't trust anyone anymore. And they end up really isolated and alone because they don't feel like they can truly trust anyone. I think as a result of all of the negative impacts of fame that I just discussed, celebrity struggle with a lot of mental health issues, a lot of celebrities develop anxiety from the fear of constantly being watched

and surveillanceed by the world at all times, feeling out of touch with their identity and having anxiety about that. I think a lot of celebrities live in constant fear at all times that their identity could be in jeopardy at times unfairly. And that's terrifying. It's one thing if you do something wrong and then you're anxious about people finding out.

It's like, well, but you did something wrong. You know what I mean? But there's a lot of times when it's unjust. And I think that's really scary for a lot of celebrities who might actually even be good people. They feel like at any given moment, somebody could make up a rumor and it could ruin their lives and it's scary.

It might not necessarily be a rational fear, but it's definitely a fear. A lot of celebrities develop things like eating disorders or obsessive-compulsive like tendencies. Due to craving some sort of feeling of control in their lives, because their identity is kind of in the control of the people, which is their choice and their decision, but again, it doesn't make it easy and it doesn't make it not scary. A lot of celebrities lean on substance to dull those feelings that are so extreme. And I know that celebrities are not the only ones who do this, right?

So many people struggle with substance abuse in all different walks of life. This is not exclusive to celebrities, but it's incredibly common among celebrities. Probably more common than we even think. It occurs with people that we wouldn't even expect. And I understand it because I think a lot of celebrities feel this sort of weight of the world on them in the sense that everyone's watching, but yet they know that it's their choice, but yet they know that it's their choice, but yet they can't quit.

And so instead of quitting, a lot of them turn to substance abuse, a lot of them end up falling into mental health struggles that they wouldn't have had otherwise that are extreme at times. Now I know it might seem like I'm looking through an incredibly negative lens, and I am. But the reason why I am is because I think everybody is aware of the benefits of being famous. Obviously there is an incredible amount of money in being famous. Obviously there is a level of power that comes with being famous. There's a level of influence that comes with being famous. There's community that comes with being famous, you know,

community in the sense of the people who make you famous, you know, the people who follow you, the people who watch your movies, who listen to your music, who follow you and Instagram, whatever it may be. You know, there is a community there that's incredibly powerful. And all of those things are really incredible. But yet we see celebrities struggle in such an intense way to a point where I would argue the money and the power and the community might not even be enough. We see celebrities struggle to a point where I can't even fathom why they're still famous, why they still choose to be famous,

why they still choose to put themselves out there because they're struggling so hard or they've whatever, and yet they still choose to do it and to me I can't comprehend what's keeping them in it. But I'm going to try to hypothesize why celebrities choose to stay famous even when being famous can be absolutely awful in a lot of ways. And it can actually be life ruining in a lot of ways fame, I would have said, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. I would have said, shut the fuck up. I wouldn't have believed it.

I wouldn't have listened. I would have thought that person was ridiculous. But I've experienced two very different types of living life. You know, I lived such a normal life where But I've experienced two very different types of living life. I lived such a normal life where I didn't have a lot of money. I was not wealthy growing up. I was not famous. My family was not famous.

My grandparents weren't famous. Their grandparents weren't famous. Like I had never been in the vicinity of fame prior to the last few years. And so I understand that perspective because I didn't grow up in a very normal way. But now I've experienced a level of fame, not a level that I would consider to be life-roaning, but I have experienced it a little bit.

And I've experienced some of the struggles that come with it as well, even at my level that's not like 100 million followers on Instagram level, even at my level, you know, I still feel the negative elements of it at times. And I'd be lying if I said, I didn't, I can't lie to you. So now I'm going to hypothesize on why I think celebrities choose to stay famous. Even when they don't need to be famous anymore, they've already made an incredible amount of money. They've already done what they got to do. And at the point that they're at,

it's probably causing more harm than good actually, because we see this often, and it perplexes me. I think one of the big reasons why celebrities choose to stay famous is because they become addicted to making money. At a certain point, I think most celebrities could retire very easily, but they don't. They keep going because there's a lot of money to be made when you're famous. I think there's this desire to always make more even when you don't need it and even if it's coming at an incredible cost to your

well-being. I think there's a level of addiction there. I think some celebrities feel uncomfortable with the thought of not making money anymore, even if they don't need to make anymore. I think a lot of celebrities are like, no, I can't, I'm not done. Like, there's more I want to buy. There's more I want to do. And they just will never feel satisfied. And so that's why I think some celebrities are famous and in the public eye actively until the day that they die, because they can't give up the money.

A lot of celebrities are so wealthy that they could stop working right now and never work a day in their life again and have enough money to live their life in the most grandiose way that they want a hundred times over. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of celebrities who are at that point yet they still can't stop. And that makes me wonder if it is sort of an addiction mentally,

like they become addicted to the feeling they get when they make more money. I don't know. I also think a lot of celebrities stay famous because fame becomes such a part of their identity i think a lot of celebrities would feel really embarrassed to quit actually they would feel like the world would view them as a failure and they can't handle that

i think a lot of celebrities are afraid to let go of their status as famous, because if they do, then they feel like they're going to return to a lower level of society or something. I think a lot of celebrities, egos, become attached to this identity of being a famous person. And so losing that would be an absolute catastrophe for their identity, for their ego, for their confidence, for their self-worth, they would lose everything and they'd have to start over. I also think, you know, probably 90% of celebrities talk about being a celebrity 100% of the time

You know what they talk about what they think about what they do on a daily basis all of it revolve revolves around being famous You know, I think a lot of famous people Don't do anything Besides being famous. Like outside of being famous, they don't do anything. You know, that's it. Now, I'm not saying all celebrities are like this, but actually I think a lot are they lack a level of identity other than being famous. Like being famous is their identity. And without being famous, they wouldn't know what to talk about. They wouldn't even know who they are

because that has become 100% of their identity. I also think a lot of famous people get addicted to the constant ego strokes. You know, celebrities are constantly being praised, complimented. They're constantly being showered with love in a way that's unnatural and imbalanced at times. You know, I talked about how sometimes the bullying of celebrities can be imbalanced. Well, so can the level of praise and love and admiration. That is also out of balance. And I think a lot of famous people become used to this unnatural level of praise and admiration and they can't live without it.

They become used to this level and anything less than that would not be enough to upkeep their ego and their confidence in their self-esteem, they become used to this unnatural level of praise. And the only lifestyle that provides that level of praise is fame, being famous. That's it. It doesn't exist in any other scenario in life. You could be the smartest student at your school. And you might receive praise from every single person in your school, but that's only a few hundred, maybe a few thousand people. The level of praise that celebrities get is millions and millions and millions and

millions and millions of people. That is on a whole other level. Okay, that is so unnatural and at times, imbalanced, but celebrities can become addicted to it, I think. I also think a lot of celebrities don't quit because being famous was their dream. And they made that dream come true. You know, they worked so hard to get recognized for their skill set, whatever that may be. Although nowadays, that's not always true. Sometimes people just get famous on accident. But for the most part, you know, celebrities But for the most part, celebrities dreamed of becoming famous before they were famous. And it's hard to let go of something that you wanted so bad. It's hard to let go of a dream that you had forever and then accomplished. It's so hard to let that go because it feels like a massive failure and it feels like you're

giving up on yourself. But the truth is is that it's not accomplishing a goal and then realizing that it wasn't what you thought it was going to be. And being okay with that and walking away if you need to is not at all a failure. If anything, I consider that to be an incredible success. It doesn't matter what other people think of you. It doesn't matter how other people perceive you throwing your dream away. My fingers are doing the quote things. It doesn't matter. You know, at the end of the day, a success to me is honoring your well-being and making the right choice for you and not caring what other people think about it. It's not a failure to accomplish a dream and then to decide that it's not what you want anymore. But I think a lot of celebrities feel that way.

They're like, God, but I got here. I can't just throw this all away. I got here for fuck's sake. I did it. But it's not what I thought, and I don't think I can do this anymore, but I also can't throw it away, but they can throw it away, you know, but

it's just so hard to come to that conclusion. I also think there are a good handful of celebrities out there who truly have a passion for their art and what they provide to the world on a public scale. You know, whether it's music, movies, TV shows, YouTube videos, podcasts, modeling campaigns, whatever it may be. I think that there are a lot of celebrities out there who truly do have a passion for what they do. They truly value the connection that they have with people who admire them and who follow

them and interact with them. And they cherish the community that they've built through the internet or through the television screen or whatever it may be. And that makes it worth it. I think for these types of people, you know, the fame element of it all is a necessary evil for them in a way. You know, dealing with the negative impacts of fame is just part of the journey, but they feel a calling to produce on a public scale, and that's their passion and their calling and the Famemain is just a necessary evil. You know what I'm saying? I think for a lot of celebrities it starts this way

You know it starts this way where they start to become introduced to the negative sides of fame but their passion for their art or whatever they're doing remains. And so they decide to stick through it. But then unfortunately, I think at a certain point, a lot of celebrities lose their passion. They become burnt out on their passion. And they stay in the industry for longer than they need to because of the other reasons that I listed earlier. You know, they don't want to let go of their dream.

They're addicted to the praise and the ego boost. They're addicted to the money and they can't let it go even when their passion is gone. And I think that's when things go really sour is when celebrities stay famous, even when they have nothing left to give. But that's the thing that's so perplexing to me. Is, you know, why would you stay in the industry that you're in, once you have nothing left to give. And once you're at a point where you don't have to be in the industry at all anymore, you already have the money to go retire and be comfortable for the rest of your life. What are you doing? You know, that's what's so perplexing to me.

But I think that that's the conclusion, you know? Now obviously I Choose on a consistent basis to remain in the public eye Yet I just went on and on Wondering why celebrities choose to stay famous yet I myself choose to stay famous, yet I myself choose to stay famous on a daily basis, right? I myself do this. I haven't taken a second to ask myself why yet. Here's why I choose to remain the public eye. Number one, I still am really excited about putting things out there into the world.

You know, I'm excited about making a podcast and having, you know, I love making anything goes. I love it. It helps me grow as a human being, you know, to those who listen, it hopefully brings something of value. And I've gotten so many kind words about how it does. And that's a beautiful thing to me. Before that, you know, when I was more focused

on making YouTube videos, I was more excited about providing something that was a distraction for people. You know, something that people could just watch and feel comforted by in some way. You know, I love clothes and I love fashion and I love, you know, home decor and I love all of these sorts of visual things and I love sharing those on the internet

to hopefully inspire somebody in some way. You know, I'm inspired constantly by people posting things on the internet, demonstrating the way that they live their life in a way. I'm inspired constantly by people posting things on the internet, demonstrating the way that they live their life in a way, and demonstrating the way that they express themselves. I take inspiration from that, from so many different people on the internet all the time. I'm excited about doing that myself as well. You know, I still have things on a public level that I'm excited to do. You know, that I think are important to me and they fulfill me. And I have more things I want to say. I have more things I

want to make. I have more things I want to do. And all of the things that I want to do and all of the things that I want to do require an audience. You know, if I were to make a movie, I'm using that as an example because I'll probably never do that. Although never say never, I guess, but I'm probably not going to do that. So that's why I'm using that as an example. Let's say we're going to make a movie or let's say we're going to write a book. You know, all of those things require somebody else to perceive them for them to mean anything otherwise they're pointless and so The reason why I am still doing this is because I still have more I want to provide But if I ever reach a point where I don't anymore or I ever reach a point where fame

Get you know ruins my life in some way. That's too extreme Then I I will walk away from it, you know But right now I Still have more I want to do. I'm not done yet. I also I'm so grateful for You, the community that I've built through being in the public eye, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. That's another reason why I'm still here. And I also dreamed of this in some ways. I didn't expect this to happen,

but I did dream of it. And I'm grateful to be here, regardless of the struggles. You know, I'm grateful to be here. And as of right now, I can handle being here without it ruining my life. And so I'm not gonna waste that opportunity. I also have good people around me who really keep me under control.

You know, when I'm spiraling out of control or I'm having, you know, really challenging mental health issues or having trust issues with people and I feel isolated, I do have a core group of people who keep me grounded and that is incredibly helpful. I think the biggest thing is, you know, it hasn't ruined my life yet. I'm still here. I'm still alive. I'm in a healthy state of mind for the most part. I have my handful of struggles, but none of them are too far out of the ordinary for me

to quit being in the public eye. You know, it will always remain perplexing to me why famous people choose to be famous when it's no longer serving them. But I think today we really figured some shit out. You know, I think we really figured some shit out. I think we really came to some good conclusions, although they're not really conclusions, they're just kind of hypotheses. Regardless. Anyway, thank you all for listening today.

I really appreciated you hanging out. As always, let me know what you thought. If you agree with me, if you disagree with me, on Instagram at anything goes or on Twitter at AG podcast, follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, if you wanna keep up with me on a personal level, check out my coffee company Chamberlain Coffee. If you wanna pick up some coffee, tea,

accessories for coffee and tea, et cetera, you can use code AG15 for a little discount there. New episodes of anything goes every Thursday and Sunday, come hang out if you feel like it I really appreciate all of you and I love all of you and I'm excited to hear your opinions and perspectives on this topic So please please share with me. I always am excited to hear even if you disagree with me I love it all and that's all I have for today. I Guess I'll talk to you later. All right.