anything goes with emma chamberlain - "you look tired... " [video]

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

[video available on spotify] about a month ago, i posted a casual selfie, and i saw comments saying “wow, she looks tired,” and “she looks kind of sick.” i was like, wait a minute. i’m well rested and healthy… what's everyone going on about? and then it clicks. i'm not wearing makeup in that selfie. at first it was sort of disturbing to me that i was getting so many comments about how tired or sick i looked just because i wasn't wearing makeup. but then i had an epiphany. so that's what we're going to be talking about today: how makeup impacts the way that we perceive natural appearance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

About a month ago, I decided, you know what? I'm gonna post a selfie today. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna open up Instagram, and I'm gonna post a selfie. And that's exactly what I did. About a month ago, I posted a selfie. It wasn't an interesting selfie. It's a picture of me laying in bed, wearing a white tank top,

with almost no expression on my face. Nothing, nothing extraordinary, nothing groundbreaking, just a casual, normal selfie. So I post this selfie and a few minutes go by and I decide, you know what? I'm just scroll through the comments and see, see what's up. So I start scrolling through the comments and I see one that says, wow, she looks tired. And I was like, okay, relax. I got seven hours last night. I'm well rested.

What's your problem? Keep scrolling, keep scrolling, keep scrolling. Wow, someone's tired. What? I'm like, what? I got seven hours last night, and the night before and the night before. What's everyone on about?

Keep scrolling, keep scrolling. Oh, someone's tired. Wow, she looks tired. Oh, tired. Oh, my God, she looks kind of sick. Oh, she looks tired. Oh, she looks sick. I was like, wait a minute. What's going on here? I'm well rested. I'm healthy. What's everyone going on about? And then it clicks. I'm not wearing makeup in that selfie. That's all it is. I'm not wearing makeup in that selfie. And I'm someone who has genetic dark circles under my eyes, no matter how many hours I sleep, I have dark circles under my eyes. I used to hate them because I was like I always look tired or sick or whatever. I used to hate them. Now I love them.

I don't even cover them with concealer anymore when I do my own makeup because I've grown to really appreciate them. And at first it was sort of disturbing to me that I was getting so many comments about how tired or sick I looked just because I wasn't wearing makeup. But then I became curious. Why is this happening?

And it didn't take long for me to realize it's because most of the time I wear makeup on my Instagram. Most of my Instagram followers know me in makeup. And then I had an epiphany. Makeup has really impacted the way that we perceive the natural appearance of those who are makeup. And it's definitely interesting. And I think we all know this, you know, like, I'm not reporting groundbreaking news here. Everyone who wears makeup has experienced a time where they're not wearing makeup and they usually do.

And someone says, oh, you look tired today or, oh, are you okay? Are you a kind of sick? Like, are you okay? Like, this is not a new concept. But I'd never really thought deeply about it until this instance. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. How makeup impacts the way that we perceive natural appearance? It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well almost almost anything

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There are a lot of people that we have never seen without makeup. And I know that's kind of obvious, like again, I'm not making a groundbreaking point, but I'd never really thought about it. I'd never thought about the fact that there are certain people in our lives that we've never seen without makeup in real life and online. There are a lot of people who don't feel ready to go in public without makeup. Probably for one of two reasons. Number one, they feel more confident while wearing it.

And number two, they feel more confident while wearing it. And number two, they feel more professional while wearing it. I know when I'm going to a business meeting, I don't feel comfortable showing up without makeup. And I don't think that's necessarily a healthy thing. But wearing makeup makes me feel more presentable. It makes me feel more professional. I don't necessarily condone that ideology, but I have it because there are certain norms for professional life, you know. But in the same breath on the weekends,

I'm probably not going to go to a party or a bar or whatever without makeup on, because I don't feel ready. Makeup makes me feel more put together. And I don't always feel the need to be put together. I'm not a super religious makeup wearer. You know, I have my set scenarios where I like to wear makeup, but I definitely leave the house very often without it on. But there are a lot of moments in my day-to-day life where I feel like I need to have makeup on to be prepared. A lot of people feel

a pressure to wear makeup every day, whether it's a pressure coming from within or it's a pressure societally, many people feel a pressure. And as a result, there are a lot of people that we never see without makeup. You know, when I was in school, there were teachers I never saw once without makeup every single day that I saw them. They were wearing makeup. There were kids in my school that I never saw without makeup on. Now as an adult, people I work with, I never see without makeup.

People at my favorite coffee shop, I never see without makeup. The waitresses at my favorite restaurant, I never see without makeup. People at my favorite coffee shop, I never see without makeup. The waitresses at my favorite restaurant, I never see without makeup. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I have no idea what they look like without makeup on. And that's definitely a universal experience. I think we all have those people in our lives. And you might even be that person in someone else's life. And when you think about that, it sort of makes more sense why it's kind of jarring

to see someone then without makeup, because makeup really changes the way a person looks. Like, I look completely different with makeup and without completely different. And that's okay, that's why I love makeup, because it allows me to enhance certain features. That's what's fun about it. and there's nothing wrong with that. But I do look completely different within without makeup.

And so when somebody sees me all of a sudden without makeup, and they only knew me with makeup, it makes sense that they'd be like, oh, that's a different person kind of. Like, that's not mean, that's not wrong. That's just inevitable. But even though it's not wrong to notice a difference when somebody's not wearing makeup, it's still an unfortunate situation because

usually when you see someone without makeup, it's jarring in a negative way. Hence the comments that were on my Instagram photo, everyone thought I looked tired and sick. You know what I'm saying? That's when it becomes a negative thing. Our perception of what makeup wearers really look like is so skewed and it's not anyone's fault, right? Like the norm in our subconscious minds becomes the makeup wearer with makeup on. When that's all we ever see, that becomes their identity in our head.

We only know them as a makeup wearer. So then when we see them without makeup, we're shocked, you know what I mean? We're like, wait, that's a different person. That's not who I knew before. Something must be wrong. Like I think a lot of it happens in our subconscious. But in reality, no one's sick.

No one's tired. I mean, sometimes people are sick and tired, obviously. But there's a lot of times when a makeup wear takes off their makeup and everyone's like, oh, they look sick and tired. And they're truly not. That's just their natural face. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Life is full of crossroads. And a lot of times it's very unclear which path is best. Maybe you're considering a career change, a relationship change, the best way forward looks a little different for everybody. And we have to figure that out for ourselves.

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wearing makeup, but it's a whole other thing to only know someone through a screen with makeup on. When it comes to social media, people feeling client to put their best foot forward, our social media presence is a highlight reel of our lives. There's a lot of people who won't post on Instagram unless they're wearing makeup. And I sort of relate to this. I don't intentionally do it. But if you just looked at my Instagram, you would think I wore makeup every day because a lot of my photos on Instagram show me wearing makeup. And that's sort of a subconscious thing.

Like I don't plan that out. But I think subconsciously I feel more presentable when I'm wearing makeup and when I'm wearing makeup, I tend to be wearing a more exciting outfit. And as a result, a lot of my Instagram photos show me wearing makeup. In real life, I don't wear makeup every day. But if you were to look at my Instagram, you would know me as a makeup wearer. Social media exacerbates this problem because not only do a lot of people only want to put their best selves out onto the internet, but on top of that, we also will choose the best photo

of ourselves to post. You know what I mean? A photo doesn't show our truest essence. It's just a moment in time. There are photos of me where I look like myself, but it's not an accurate representation of what I truly look like. And so I think social media just takes this problem to the next level, you know what I mean? Because it just feeds into our skewed perception of what natural appearance is for a makeup wear. When we see celebrities through the screen, we're usually seeing them on TV, in movies, on a photoshoot, on a red carpet, in a paparazzi image that they probably knew about beforehand. There are many celebrities that we have never seen without makeup. I think a lot of celebrities feel the pressure to always be done up, to always be ready for

the camera. And when we see celebrities through the screen, we take their appearance at face value. Celebrities are almost not real to us at times, because we only ever see them through a screen. And we tend to take them at face value. I'm thinking of certain celebrities in my head right now. I have no idea what they look like without makeup on, but I've never even really thought about it that deeply. We constantly see celebrities in makeup.

And a lot of times we don't even know that they're wearing it or how much they're wearing a celebrity could be in a movie. And in this movie, they're supposed it or how much they're wearing. A celebrity could be in a movie and in this movie, they're supposed to look all natural. In reality, they're wearing so much makeup. I don't think a movie or TV show has ever been shot where the actress in it weren't wearing makeup. Even when an actor is supposed to look all natural on screen,

they're usually still wearing some sort of makeup. But we take that celebrity's appearance at his value because we just assume like, oh, that's what they look like naturally. They're not wearing a smoky eye in this movie, so they're all natural. This is why I think articles come out about celebrities. Like, oh, it's very clear that this celebrity's

going through a rough time. They might be addicted to drugs or partying too much. When they're photographed without makeup on, I've seen so many, you know, breaking news. This celebrity was seen with dark circles under their eyes. They're clearly on drugs. They're on a drug bench. It's like, no, they're not. Well, maybe they could be, but they might not be. They might just be tired. But we're so used to seeing celebrities with makeup on that when we don't. It's like, oh my god, they've been partying too much. It's like, probably not actually probably, but maybe not. This episode is brought to you by Lego Duplo. Take your toddler and their most exciting learning adventure yet with Lego Duplo sets of your toddler and their most exciting learning adventure yet, with Lego Duplo sets

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Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. I think another factor is the no makeup trend. This is the popular makeup style

where people wear very light makeup that is almost undetectable just to lightly enhance features, but not to a point where it's obvious. You know, when someone's wearing a smoky eye and a red lip, they're not trying to hide the fact that they're wearing makeup. The idea of the no makeup makeup trend is that you look and feel like you're not wearing makeup. I participate heavily in this trend. My version of no makeup makeup is concealer on blemishes, lip liner and lipstick, eyebrow gel, a little bit

of clear mascara or light brown mascara, maybe a little bit of bronzer just to kind of warm the face up. It's not nothing. And it looks different. Like I look different when I participate in the no makeup makeup trend, then I do completely naturally, but I do still look natural. If someone didn't know what I look like with truly no makeup, they would be like, oh, she's barely wearing any makeup. I don't cover my dark circles under my eyes. I'm not putting eyeshadow on. I'm blending my concealer out really well, so it looks just like skin,

like instead of powdery, thick product on my face. You know what I'm saying? Like, I use a light hand so that it looks very natural and it's almost undetectable. I do that on purpose and I have no shame in it. There's no shame in it.

I'm not being deceptive. I'm not lying to anyone. I'm just wearing makeup in a way that feels comfortable to me. And there's nothing wrong with that. But as much as I'm in support of the no makeup makeup trend, I can't ignore how this exacerbates this issue. I guess it's not necessarily an issue. I shouldn't call it an issue,

but no makeup makeup at times is undetectable. Yet I would argue there's still a difference in appearance between what somebody really naturally looks like and what they look like with no makeup makeup on. As a result, there are people that think the no makeup makeup where naturally looks the way they do with that makeup on. When in reality, they do look different without that makeup on, right? But here's the problem. Know what's that fault here?

I don't think anyone's at fault necessarily. Makeup wearers are not deceiving, they're not lying, they're not catfishing, they're doing what they want with their face. And we all have that right and we should not be judged for that. I love makeup. Okay. I think makeup is an incredible tool. I think it's an incredible art form. Not for me necessarily. I don't do makeup in an artistic way, but for many people it's in art form. It's nothing to be ashamed of. People can do whatever the fuck they want with their face. It's nobody's business why you use makeup. There's no wrong reason to use it. On the other hand, those who feel slightly jared when they see someone that they normally see wearing makeup, suddenly not wearing makeup, aren't bad people either necessarily. It makes sense. We constantly see a certain person with makeup on, we subconsciously

believe that that's what they look like. Then we see them without the makeup and we're like, what's happening? I don't think that that's morally wrong. I don't think we can control that thought in our heads. That isn't inherently wrong. I think what is wrong is saying something out loud about it. It should never be mentioned. I think we all should remind ourselves that it's not a makeup wearer's job to tell you,

hey, I know I'm not wearing makeup today, but don't worry, I'm not sick, I'm not tired, I'm not on drugs. It's not a makeup wearer's job to tell you that. It's all of our own jobs to just simply remember that a natural face looks very different from a face with makeup. And when we've never seen someone without makeup and all of a sudden we do see them without makeup, we're allowed to maybe be jarred a little bit because it's just different.

But we all just need to remind ourselves that that that's their face. And the difference is what's making us feel like there's something wrong with them all of a sudden. But that's all in our minds, that's not real. A natural face is normal, beautiful, healthy, and looks different on everyone. And I think as long as we remind ourselves of that, everything can be fine and dandy. That's all I have for today. The power of makeup,

listen, I have a hard time leaving the house these days without some sort of lip tint on. Like I need my lips somehow tinted a little bit. There are some people who have never seen me without that on. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I just find all this so interesting. Let me know what you think. As always, what do you think about this topic? Let me know. We can chat at anything goes on Instagram, tune in every Thursday and Sunday. Watch anything goes on Spotify, listen to anything goes anywhere you stream podcasts, see what I'm up to on my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. Use the store locator, see if there's any Chamberlain Coffee near you in stores, order

stuff online, delicious coffee, and tea, cute little accessories online. Check it out if you want. I really appreciate all of you hanging out today. And I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And I hope that you have an incredible rest of your day. And if the rest of your day sucks, I get it. Tomorrow will be better. If tomorrow isn't better, maybe the next day. I love and appreciate all of you so much and I'll talk to you soon. TTYL