Are You A Charlotte? - He told Carrie Bradshaw to clean out her closet and get rid of her shoes! UH OH!... (S4 E13 "The Good Fight")

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

We’re bringing in an expert to help us better understand Carrie and Aiden AND Charlotte and Trey.“Compromise is healthy but sacrifice is dangerous.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotopje is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivac and DePippo.

Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said, I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave. Listen to the devil's quarry in the Bone Valley Feed on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is.

Getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit season two is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority black City in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got like so much more to do.

Like Prince, he dropped like 30 albums. We dropped like five right now. That's the rate we got to be going. Yeah, that's a good attitude. No matter the era, Drink Chams brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations. Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kristen Davis, and I want to know, are you a Charlotte?

Okay, you guys, very, very exciting. Today we have an expert. It's always fun to have an expert on. Her name is Dr. Jamie Bornstein. She is a, you can tell me how you like to be described, a relationship therapist. Is that good? Yes, and coach. And coach.

So you coach people about dating, about relationships. I saw a lovely list about how to be vulnerable, which I think you're just so perfect to be looking at this episode with us today. Everybody, we are rewatching the Good Fight. Super interesting episode. It is episode 413 and it aired in 2002. Okay, you're here and I'm so excited. So you talk to people.

I just want to get a good understanding of what you do before we talk about the episode. How, it seems you've been doing this a long time, which is also really interesting. Yeah, so I've been a licensed dating and relationship therapist and coach for over 20 years. Wow. My brand is the relationship expert. And my clients are around the world. They're singles, couples, breakups and divorces. I'm also the author of Man-A-Festing.

How to Man-Fest a Man. Cute. I'm a speaker and podcast host. And yeah, so I do a lot. I'm a little busy. Wow. So impressive. I can't believe you've been doing this for 20 years.

You must have seen a lot. I love my job so much. It brings me so much joy to literally, I help people change their lives. Oh. It can be better. That's so nice. How do people find you from around the world?

Like, how does that work? You know what? When people find me from Australia or Switzerland, or France, which I currently have clients from those places, I just am grateful. I mean, logistically, I think it's through my Instagram and my website, probably. There's definitely word of mouth, but probably nobody in the United States was telling their friend. Maybe they told their friend in Switzerland, I don't know. Right.

I mean, I do feel like people are very global now in their friendships and relationships and whatever. So people can, like, Zoom with you, I'm going to assume. Yeah. So my clients are, like I said, all around the world. It gets very interesting when we try to figure out the timing. Like my client in Australia, I'm like, how is it tomorrow? What's going on tomorrow? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a big jump. That's a big jump. Yeah, but the cool thing is that what I see is that these relationship things, there's such commonalities. And it doesn't matter where you are in the world. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Going on everywhere. For sure, for sure. I mean, I, one of the things about our show, we kind of broke lots of rules and also broke lots of expectations. And one of those expectations was that comedy doesn't travel well and that female-driven things somehow weirdly are assumed that they don't travel well, which, you know, I don't

think that's true. But with us, it definitely, definitely wasn't true, which was part of the reason for our success was that we had, you know, success around the world, which, you know, then we got to travel the world. And when we did the movies, they had global success. and everybody was like shocked, you know, oh my God. But, you know, I think that is because all people everywhere are going through these things. Yes.

And I, I mean, I watched the show when it was on. Originally, it could not get enough. I watched every episode. I was telling you my friend group, we all had names. But anyhow, but I, I mean, since I was born, I've been a romantic and I just love, love. That's why I do what I do. But the show is just. I mean, watching this episode again was fun and it's so well done.

And it's, it evokes emotions. It's so great. I'm so glad. So when you say you're a romantic, would you consider yourself a Charlotte? You know what? I always said I'm between Charlotte and Carrie. Cool. That's me too.

Definitely a mixture. That's me too. Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. Well, I think it's the best. I mean, they're the best, aren't they? I don't know. You know, it's really relative.

I mean, there's been so many phases, which I think is also. also very fascinating. You know, there are people who wrote a book, We Should All Be Miranda. And it's a really funny book. And it's about how, you know, she's so smart. And she cuts, you know, she cuts through things. Like she's very, she tells it like it is.

And she's very perceptive and smart about things. And that's totally true. And then I think that the power of Samantha, you know, cannot be understated. Like she's so free and so unapologetic and has such power. because she is those things, you know, she is like, I want what I want, and I'm going to get it, and I don't make apologies, and I'm very open about what I want.

You know, it's not like she's manipulating anyone. She's just like, this is what I want. Do you want that? Okay, you don't want that. I want this. You know, she's just so free in that, and I think we could all take something from that. So I think they're all great in their own ways, you know.

Actually, when I was watching the episode, I know we're going to get to, but when I was watching the episode last night, I was literally thinking, how amazing it was to watch her. She literally said to the guy that she's dating, she said, or about to date, she said that this is only sex. Right. And so it was like the roles were a little reverse.

She was so empowered. And I liked that because, looking back in my whole life, I mean, I'm a very emotional person. I'm a Pisces. Me too. We only have Pisces on the podcast. When's your actual birthday? It's so funny.

My actual birthday is February 23rd. one's years. Okay, and March 8th? Cool. Who's the other prices? Oh, oh, we've had like six of them on and the last six guests. Like, like we, even when we don't know it, it's really funny. Anyway, welcome. We're very emotional people. Yes, we certainly are. Yes, yes, indeed. But go ahead. So you're very emotional. And yeah. So I was saying that like it was so cool to watch it. First of all, I haven't watched that episode in probably 20 years, but it was so cool to watch it. And looking back at younger Jamie, who, I mean, I've always been emotional, but I was especially just everything was so dramatic and every guy and like just a lot of tears and a lot of such happy times also obviously. But I was looking at actually at Samantha and I was thinking, wow, what if I would have lived my life like that?

It would have been really interesting. And the interesting thing is that guys actually like not everything. They don't like slutty girls, well some guys do. but they do like, I think she's mysterious. She's a little bit of a game player because she's not like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. And guys like that. That's true. I don't think she's a game player, though.

I think she's so direct that she's not a game player. Do you know what I'm saying? Right. They might think, it's not that she is playing the game, but some guys might, if they don't really know her, they might think she's putting on some act or whatever. And so whatever it is, making the man want her more. For sure, for sure. And I mean, the other thing I think, you know, which I, one of the things that I love about our show, and then I think people have also gone through phases about this.

And sometimes we would write it in. Sometimes people would criticize us because they said that all we did was, you know, talk about men and try to get men or whatever. And that's really true for Charlotte in terms of like Charlotte wanted, you know, a great love. And she wanted to have babies and, you know, do all the things. And eventually she did, as we know. But it took some time and some effort and some changes and some growth, which was great. But I think that one of the things that I really like about Samantha is that as I've re-watched it as well, I mean, I knew at the time that she was a really, really different character and that there were not any other characters in film or TV, really, that were like her, you know? And people were so like, oh, my God, you know, when we first started, like, shocked.

But I, and I, it's funny because even still, I do feel like in some. ways powerful women are celebrated in a way today that wasn't necessarily true in 1998 when we started, right? It was more like shocking, like what? But now it's more prevalent, I think, because of social media and people are, you know, like, you know, celebrating like power and feeling good and, you know, everyone takes their pictures of their outfit and, you know, they glow up and all the things, you know, which I love. But I also feel like when I look at her back, back, you know, in a retrospect, it is amazing how direct she is, like unrelentingly direct.

And I think that sometimes they said that we centered men, but I don't really feel, I feel like, yes, these women and many women obviously are trying to figure relationships out and maybe they are into men, and therefore there's the confusion based on how we're brought up and socialized. And, you know, the differences, I'm sure you deal with a lot in your job. But I think that,

You know, like not playing games actually does sometimes confuse people, and that's kind of crazy. You know? Yes. And I totally agree with you. I was thinking the same thing watching this episode that it is, we are on such a different time now. Because that obviously was groundbreaking and that was a little controversial back then. But now, yes, it's all about women's women empowerment. And yes, men and women are so, so different.

as women, we are very, very complex, and men are so much simpler. So she was kind of in her masculine a little bit being so direct, so not emotional. And so it was cool to see how, yeah, men like they're not used to that. They don't know how to navigate that. Now the men are a lot more used to someone like that. But yeah, one of the things I love talking about is how men and women are so different. And when we, so I'm, I just, I'm launching a digital course this summer. It's called single.

It's a soulmate. And it's for women who are looking to man, a fest. And I actually interviewed men, and I call them man interviews. And it's giving women the insight into understanding men more. That they have feelings also that they. I believe they do. Go ahead. Go ahead.

But it's great because I feel like there's so much in the media and so much in the world about, man, you need to understand women more. But we need to understand men more also. Well, for sure, because now the whole man is fair. Like, what the heck's going on, man? It's a lot out there. It's a lot. I think anytime we can understand each other more, it's a great thing. And I don't like it when people, and I do feel like people misunderstood the show in this way and thought that we were trying to kind of separate, you know, the women from the men, you know how the whole talk of like, do women talk like this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I do think women talk like this.

Women can talk any way women want to talk, right? There just hadn't been a TV show where it was, you know, open, right? But I think that, you know, we're all just human. You know what I'm saying? And different people want different things. And I think that's really important. I think that sometimes it seems like everybody wants one thing, but I don't think that's true. And I think that the younger people now are showing us, you know, that things are

different. They've been through a lot the younger people and they have dating apps. They've never known life without dating apps. It's really different. And I don't know quite how that's going to shake out. I have a 14 year old daughter. So obviously, we're not dealing with that right now. But sometimes I feel worried. Like, do the young people know how to talk to each other? I don't know. What do you think? Yeah. So, and this is why I love the work that I do because I do my best to inspire and teach the world as many people as possible, exactly how to communicate, how to love yourself unconditionally.

You're talking about your young daughter, and this is why I wrote my book, this is why I'm doing my course, all the work, and yes, I work with men also, but let's just talk about this for a second. We need to, I feel like a lot of the issues that women have as they go through the dating journey with men is that they feel insecure.

In my book, I have something called the chameleon. you change for the man. I personally took scuba lessons for a guy years ago. I spent so much money just so I can spend time with him. And I did not like scuba. I'm never going to do it again. I thought I was going to die. So there are a lot of things that I, like it's my mission in life.

One of my missions is to empower and teach these young women to love themselves unconditionally, show up as themselves no matter what. And to know that the right guy is going to, love them for who they are. That's great. That's so good. I mean, in the end, I believe that I can't remember if it's the end of the show or the end of one of the movies where her voiceover, Carrie's voiceover, says, you know, the longest, most important relationship that you will have is with yourself and loving yourself. And I do think that was the underneath of all of the years of show and comedy and love and trying to find love was your relationship with yourself and finding the way to show up

as yourself and not not sell out you know not like give up who you are or what you want and it you know it's kind of interesting and we've talked a lot on the podcast about the aiden you know we've got big and then we've got aden and they're really interesting and really different but i had forgotten about this whole storyline and i'm so curious to hear your thoughts about the storyline with aiden and Carrie because they've moved in and Aiden has this plan now that he is buying the apartment next door and he wants to knock the wall down. Now, I'm pretty sure this doesn't ever happen, but obviously we know this now, but we didn't know it when we were watching.

So he's moved all his boxes in. I'd forgotten all about this. And Carrie's never lived with anyone, which I'd also forgotten about, but makes total sense, right? So they have this whole thing. I mean, there's so many ways that is manifesting in their relationship that they're going through one of those kind of learning curves with each other. And they're now in a different phase because they're living together.

So many things happen. One is that she comes home and he's like, how you doing? Where are you been? Who are you talking to? And she's like, ah, which is so cute. And eventually she tells him possibly in the next episode to please let her be silent for an hour after she gets home, which is so cute. And then she ends up missing him, which is also so sweet.

You know, he's in the next room. but, you know, because you ask for what you need and you get it and then you're good. You know what I mean? It's like magic, right? I loved that scene. So she's so frustrated the whole episode. They're fighting. And finally at the end, she uses her beautiful voice, and this is what I teach my clients to do, use your voice.

And without the fear of the outcome, without the fear he's going to leave, without the fear of the relationship is going to end. So she walks in and she just, her friend, somebody had said, just say what you need, whatever. So anyhow, she gets on power. Miranda said, you can't even, because she's telling, making jokes to Miranda about, you know, Miranda wants to have sex with that guy

even though she's pregnant with Steve's baby. And, you know, they're kind of criticizing each other. And Miranda goes, well, you can't even, you know, ask Aidan to stop talking to you when you get home. You know what I mean? It's a perfect showing of what friends can do for friends, right? I love that scene so much. because this is why I loved it so much because of his reaction.

He was so sweet and calm. And you could tell that he just loves her no matter what. Okay. Okay. That's good. That's good. That's good. I mean,

this is the thing about the Aden, which, you know, it's also one of the things I've been really appreciating in the rewatch is like you see all these tiny little moments over time that add up in a way. there has been with Aiden from the beginning of their relationship, this kind of subtle situation of her trying to change for him. Like remember he didn't want a day to smoke or.

I don't know if you remember this in the beginning. And so she said, oh, yeah, I'm quitting. And she just tries to quit really casually. And of course, it's not really that easy. So then she's secretly smoking and she feels bad about herself, but she's trying to do this for him. There's a lot of these kind of areas where he's kind of trying to get her to change. Like, for instance, in this episode, he doesn't try to get her.

Well, he does try to get her. to stay home. He says, I don't want to go out on Saturday night, which, you know, if you know, Carrie, Carrie obviously wants to go out on Saturday night. She does have a whole column where she writes about, you know, dating a nightlife in New York City, right? But he's like, I want Kentucky Fried Chicken. You're just like, oh my God. So I think all that is so, it rings so true to me. Like, you can think someone is amazing and you can be in a great relationship with them, but you might not have every single one of the same things that you like or that you like. to do, right? So it's a hard balance to see like, like I would have, I mean, he does say at one point,

I think it's the next episode, he says, oh, I'll go out. I'll go with you. Even though it's so obviously not what he wants to do. But like you want to see both people trying to change, right? You don't want just one side trying to change. So what I always tell my clients is there's a difference between compromise and sacrifice. In a relationship, compromise is so important. These are things like the smoking thing, first of all, that's going to benefit her. Of course. When it's something that is not part of your core, who you are, compromise. You go to, like, my parents are obsessed with, no, my dad's obsessed with the Cubs.

I'm from Chicago. And so my mom always said, she goes to the Cubs games to support my dad, you know, like you take them for the team, whatever. So that's a compromise. It's when it's a sacrifice, it's out of your integrity. This means it doesn't feel right. You doesn't feel like scuba. Scuba didn't feel right to me.

Right. But like, so there's a difference between when you shift and try to align more to make each other happy when it's more of a surface-y thing versus a core value. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's interesting. I like that. I like that. Pride month, Toronto.

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Pride is so great because it gives a whole bunch of people this visibility that they've never had before. We have a ton to celebrate Toronto. Happy Pride. IHeart Radio. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no

anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fear to say this was the biggest case of your career? Yes, sir. Rape a murder for a young 12-year-old child.

As bad as it gets. I would think so. People, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivac and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said, I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grief. Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And to hear the devil's quarry ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to Love for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. You can't order it. you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life, but now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life.

If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy after a breakup. Joy is an empty nester. Joy after a loss. Joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you. Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Champs podcast, We're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got, like, so much more to do. Like, Prince, he dropped, like, 30 albums. We dropped, like, five right now. Like, that's the rate we gotta be going.

Yeah, that's a good attitude. You also hear stories from industry legends and hip-hop pioneers, like Fab Five Freddy. I directed when Naz's early videos. Which one? One love. Wow. Yes. I literally filmed.

his apartment in Queensbridge. His moms were still up in that apartment. Nans was just beginning to take off. His pops used to live near me in Harlem. His dad introduced him to a whole lot of, you know, conscious stuff, and he made a young prodigy. No matter the era, Drink Chams brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations.

Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right. So for the good fight, my Hyundai hot take is going to be the scene at the very end where Carrie finally asks Aiden to be quiet and for an hour. And then she sits behind this curtain and he sits on the other side of the curtain reading his book, being very quiet. And you can see her through the curtain like leaning

back, trying to relax, then like getting uncomfortable it looks like, but she's just through this curtain and it's a beautiful shot. And then she comes out and she pops her head through. And she says, what are you doing out there? And I just thought it was so great because the writing is so good and Sarah's acting is so good. And the way Charles McDougal shot through the curtain and you can just barely see her. And then she comes back into the scene with him and they're connected again. I just loved how it was filmed and acted. So that's my Hyundai hot take, celebrating iconic moments, bold moves and unforgettable style, just like Hyundai.

So I feel like with Aiden and one of the things that I think is so interesting is that John is such a great actor. So like in that scene at the end, which we're kind of jumping to the end, but it was such a really good scene. It's such a really different, interesting scene, like from what you see on television. You know, she comes in.

You can tell she's nervous to say this thing that, you know, she would like some quiet when she comes home. She's scared to say it. She says it very, very cleanly. And she says something like, I've never lived with anyone. Like she's very much like taking responsibility for herself,

you know, and saying, what I like. And he looks at her really sweetly, like really sweetly. I mean, you can tell it's not necessarily what he wants, right? But he's totally going to do it for her. And she shuts the little, she's got like a little drape in between the bedroom and the living room, which they've put up. So she shuts it. And it's so beautifully directed. This is directed by Charles McDougal, one of our, like, amazing, amazing directors. And he films her through the, through the curtain. And you see her just sitting there and she's like trying to relax. You know what I mean? And then he's reading his book.

and she's sitting there, sitting there, and a little time passes, and then she gets up, she opens the drape back up, and she says, you know, what are you doing in here? And he goes, like, I can't talk, you know, which is also so cute because he told her that he wasn't going to talk for a whole hour. It's adorable in so many ways. But I think a lot of that is also John just being such a great actor. You know what I'm saying?

Like, it surpasses. I mean, the writing's great, but like, I don't, I don't, It's hard for me sometimes to separate the actors making it so great and you wanting the actors to be together because the actor's chemistry is so good. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I don't remember him being that good looking. He's so good looking. I know, right? It's crazy. This is what I picked up from that. I thought it was really interesting. I felt like it was portraying a very confident, self-assured, not cocky, self-assured, confident man. Because in my own life, when I I was 25 years old living in New York. I had a boyfriend who, this literally happened. He was just, he wasn't happy in his job, so he just would, this was before a lot of, like, things, but it was just, there was I am, like AOL, I am, whatever it was. Yes, yes. You would write to me back and forth every day.

I was studying, I was studying, I couldn't write back and forth to him. He was just kind of a little annoying, like a little too much. But I really liked him. He had wonderful, great qualities. So we went to the Jersey Shore one weekend with his family. The next weekend was 4th of July, he was going to fly back to Chicago with me. And I literally said to him 25 years old. I said to him on a Sunday.

I said, can we not talk until like Wednesday or Thursday whenever we were going to Chicago? Oh! I needed a break. I can't believe I did that. And he was probably one of the most insecure man I've ever met. Very good-looking, but just insecure for whatever reason. He didn't like that. First he said yes, I think.

And then he said, no, that's not going to fly with him. So we ended up talking and then we went to Chicago and it was okay. But I don't know. There was something in me that I was like, I'm going to either break up this guy because he's like, it's too much. And that's what Carrie was going through. It was too much. It's kind of like COVID when you're 24-7 together. It's not healthy.

So true. So true. Oh, my gosh. Yes. It's well put. It's well put. He's very, but I do think he is, he is confident. I mean, you can see in this.

when they fight at the beginning, right? Because they've got all these boxes and she can't get in the door. And he does seem to be kind of home all the time, which is also kind of weird, right? And at one point, and then he goes, well, we just got to clear some of this stuff out. We've got to clear your clothes and your shoes out. And she's just like, oh, my God.

Like, it's so funny. And Sarah Jessica is so funny in it. Like, she's so animated and hysterical. And she tells him many things like, you know, don't, you know, don't denigrate the clothes. I think at one point she says, like, And then he tells her to throw this top out, which is a Cavali top, which she ends up wearing. I mean, it's also interesting because also you feel like does Aiden really get Carrie that he's saying throw the clothes out, like so casual like, like throw the shoes out.

Why does anybody need so many shoes? You're like, are you paying attention to who Carrie is? But at the end, it seems like there is growth. But it's interesting. I think it's just a man in general. all, it's not that he doesn't love her, want to understand her, or respect her job and her love of fashion and everything. I think it's just he truly, once again, men are so simple, he didn't understand in that moment. I don't know what. It was also some interesting. She said

these shoes were $380. And I was thinking, wow, those shoes would be like $1,500. I know. I know, because it was 25 years ago or whatever, like a crazy amount of time ago. I know, I know. I think the same thing every time we say a price of anything. I'm like, What? What? It's crazy how things have changed. I agree totally. But I mean, at the time, it seemed like a lot, you know? There was a lot of judgment also in their fighting. A lot of like you and judgment. I always say if you have judgment in a relationship. Uh-huh. There's no room for connection. So judging meaning like he said he was judging her stuff and she was judging, they were using a swear word. She was judging his stuff. Uh-huh. The way that there was not hatred, but just like, my stuff is more important.

Your stuff's not important. It was in the moment. But it wasn't, it didn't mean that they didn't love each other. It was this a little bit of a probably like a regression, like an immature thing that their little boy and little girl are coming up to the surface. But it was definitely judging. So I don't think it's that he doesn't love and respect what he does. I think it was just, he just didn't get it. So when people are judging, because really people are judging all the time, don't you think?

And I don't just mean in a relationship. I just mean in a life, right? Like you're thinking like, I like this. I don't like this. This is good. This is bad. Things like that. I mean, how do you deal with that, you know, in a relationship in terms of knowing when it's going over the edge, like too much judging?

You know? This is going to sound, I don't know, controversial or funny or something. I can't wait. I teach people how not to judge. Literally my couples that come to me to work with me and they all end up being okay if they're meant to be, if they're both willing to make it work. They learn how to not judge and it's it's a lot simpler. Part of it is being neutral. I'm going to stay in a state of neutrality.

Part of it is going a little too deep, but a lot of times judgments are a projection. So if you say you are a, you're untrustworthy. then I would say, okay, well, what is going on inside of you that you feel like you can't trust yourself? Something like that. So everything is a projection and reflection in our lives. So this is going a little probably. It's fine. There is no too deep. But yeah.

And like I said, you almost need to threaten yourself. If I judge, I'm not going to be able to connect. Oh. It's bringing more compassion and trying to understand each other into the relationship. Okay. I like that so much. So you would say to your clients, when you go home and if, let's say, you're fighting over, who's going to empty the dishwasher?

I'm picking something random. And the other person is saying, well, I don't have time, right? And the other person is saying, well, I don't have time. Like, whose time is more important? Which I know this is something couples fight about, right, in terms of, like, who's going to do the, you know, kind of day-to-day things because usually it seems like one person, the work seems more important and one person that works seems less important, you know, which is not necessarily fair, but I do feel like people make agreements in their relationships, like unconscious agreements.

Well, with this and in general, I always say get to what the feeling is. Take away the words. How are you feeling, which it might sound a little cliche, but it is so powerful. I'll give a little example. And next boyfriend of mine, we were in, we were visiting his family. And it was really cold in the house because his parents didn't want to spend money on the heat. And we were saying in the basement. So I remember feeling like just upset. And finally, and this was a million years ago when I first started learning about this concept. And I said to him, I don't feel taken care of. Because I realized, I kept being like, can you just please ask your parents to turn up the heat? I'm freezing. We actually had to go to the store to buy a comforter so I can be warmer and a space heater.

So but finally I turned it on myself. Instead of being mad at him, I turned to myself and I was like, well, what is really going on? What is the feeling? So once I said, I'm not feeling taken care of, he understood and he went right up the stairs and told his parents because he didn't want me to feel not taken care of. That's good. So if you get to the feeling in any situation, it expresses that, it changes everything.

That's good. I like that. That's very good. that's some good, good, good advice. I like it. So let's, now, this is one of the problems of having an expert on is that, you know, we're doing a TV show, right? So, and we have to keep going.

We can't have everything figured out, right? So sometimes what you guys would say about such relationships on the show, you know, we're just going to have to make it roll on. Exactly. But when you're watching Aiden and Kerry, so you felt like when, when, so when we have this first argument where he's talking about the shoes and the clothes and you felt like, it was a bit of a regression. She's talking about his stuff.

He's talking about her stuff. They're, like, going through it. And I think this totally makes sense in terms of what we know about the characters because she's never lived with anybody. You know, this is, it's a big thing. The relationship with big had been, like, very, you know, held off, right? For, you know, he had kept it at a certain place, which, you know, was uncomfortable for her, as we all know.

But so with this one, I feel like she's really growing, you know, that she's trying, you know, she's doing her best to like find her voice and talking to us about it and then going back and using her voice and, you know, he's handling it as best as he can. Like, it's kind of adorable, you know? Yeah, and I love that he's compared to big. He is open to a real relationship. And they both are so, they're young and, and navigating this together. I don't remember. Had he lived with anybody before? I think he, we don't ever really see that much. And I feel like he, I don't think he, I don't think he ever says, I think he, I don't know. Someone's going to tell us in the comments.

I don't know. Later on, we see that he marries somebody else and he has a kid. And then we later on, we see the kids. This is much, much, much later. But that, I feel like Carrie was like his first big thing, I think. I mean, he had this other girlfriend when she broke up with him and went back to big. He had a girlfriend that we saw a couple of times. She was blonde.

I can't remember her name. People are going to tell us with the comments. But it's unclear how serious. You know, you don't ever get the sense that they've moved it together or anything like that. But what's interesting is that they came into this both not wounded necessarily. Maybe he was, but Carrie going through the same with Big, he was never really present and never really gave her what she needed. So they're both coming together and they have some hurt from the past. And so they're bringing these what I call unresolved issues.

Once again, we don't need to get deep. But anyhow, they're bringing these issues. Let me ask you this. Does anyone not have unresolved issues? Everyone has an unresolved issue. Non-resolved issue is anything that is disturbing your piece. That's all it is. It's not a big deal. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. You come with these unresolved issues, and this is part of what we were talking about before with the judgment. The work that I do to help people is that you get to the root of what is this unresolved issue? And you say, this is a little long. I forgive myself for, it's called compassionate self-forgiveness.

Love it. So with them, so let's say she's hurt because she feels like she's not good enough for big, okay? But then now all of a sudden she's used to that and now she's here. So she goes, I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that I'm not good enough. Because she's walking around subconsciously thinking she's not good enough just because one man thought she wasn't. So she needs to make sure or anybody in the situation that she shows up in this relationship, once again, loving herself unconditionally, showing up knowing her worth. Oceaga, with four nights at residents in downtown Montreal, flights from Porter Airlines, two weekend gold tickets, and $1,000 of cash.

Please love it. Lord, Zara Larson, Tate McRae, Sombor, 21 pilots, and more. Download IHart Radio. Listen to IHart new music for 10 minutes and enter to win. Osiaga, 26. Every day you listen is another chance to win. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live.

I was terrified. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fear to say this was the biggest case of your career? Yes, sir.

Rape and murder for a child. She's as bad as it gets. I would think so. People wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Creveit and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said, I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grief.

Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the Devil's Quarry ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to LaVip for Good Plus on Apple. Apple Podcasts. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. You can't order it, you can't borrow it, or simply hope it into life. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.

Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy after a breakup, joy as an empty nester, joy after a loss, joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you.

Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got like so much more to do. Like Prince, he dropped like 30 albums. We dropped like five right now. That's the rate we got to be going.

Yep, that's a good attitude. You also hear stories from industry legends and hip-hop pioneers. like Fab Five Freddy. I directed when the Nas' early videos. Which one? One love. Wow. I literally filmed in his apartment in Queensbridge.

His moms were still up in that apartment. Nause was just beginning to take off. His pops used to live near me in Harlem. His dad introduced him to a whole lot of, you know, conscious stuff, and he made a young prodigy. No matter the era, Drink Chance brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations. Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Let's go over to Charlotte for a second because poor Charlotte. Oh, it's so sad. It's so, so sad. And I had forgotten when I had Kyle on the podcast a while ago, maybe six months ago, maybe a little bit more. And I had forgotten a lot of the details like I had forgotten about the cardboard baby, which, you know, how could I forget? I don't know. But like once we, because we break up. up in season three, but then we get back together because we start having sex. And so that part

seems to be solved once the pressure's off. And then we get back together. And I, Charlotte, really wants this baby that they had always talked about, right? Like he seemed totally down with a plan. But then it doesn't happen so easily. So once it doesn't happen so easily and she has to go through IVF, he just seems immediately exhausted, which is so sad. And he says things like, I just want to play golf. You know, that was in a previous episode, which is also just like, just so heartbreaking. And she's like, but isn't, you know, we've got to work for things and things are, you know, this is a good thing that we need to work for.

And he just is not in it with her, which is really heartbreaking. So she finally in this episode seems to be, you know, realizing how separated they are emotionally because they have never been good about talking about their feelings. And then he brings home this cardboard baby and he thinks it's funny. And Kyle told me when he was on the podcast that he didn't really feel great about the cardboard baby. And I said, not having rewatched it yet, I said, you know, I think you were trying to make a

joke because he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings. Trey, right? Not Kyle. Right. Obviously, he does not, he's never, even when they were not having sex, he could not talk about it, which to me is worse than not having sex, right? Like, you need to be able to discuss things or you're going to have a terrible time, which is exactly what happens with, with Trey and Charlotte. It's so sad. So he brings a carver baby and she's just immediately like, don't even look at me.

It's so sad. And it's really just the end. It's the end. What did you think when you were watching them? First of all, you did a really amazing job. Thanks. of acting like thank you i mean you it was heartbreaking i think any woman watching that episode could feel whether it's you want a baby you want a man whatever it is could feel like in that

moment you could see he he just doesn't get it yeah and you were over it and and accepting that maybe he just doesn't get it yeah it's so sad it was so sad but also it was I think it was clarity for your character. Well, that's true. That's true. She needs some clarity with this because she's just going to keep trying. That's the one thing about Charlotte. She'll try and try and try and probably past when she should be trying. Yeah.

You know? And that's kind of, I think, a hard thing to know. Like, how do you know when to give up, you know? Well, I always say that, and there's some people resonate with this and some, well, that's okay. So many times in life, people try to get their answer and they try so hard, but that actually pushes things away. I'm a very spiritual person. You can just relax and chill into knowing that your answer is going to come to you, then you make space for the answer to arrive, to receive the answer from. From over, it comes

from, if you want to say the universe, a chance meeting, whatever it is. But that's what I say because people, when you're with a law of attraction, you push things away. When you're so focused on something, the universe gives us what we focus on. If you're focused on something not working out versus just trusting it's going to, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's not going to work out. So you want to focus on just trusting that your answer is going to come to you. And like I said, giving space for it and it will arrive.

I like that. Not being in fear mode. Don't be in fear mode. Sure. But the thing about that, though, I'm just talking about Charlotte now. So Charlotte, Charlotte lives in the fact that it's going to work out. Do you know what I mean? And sometimes, I think she's so focused on her vision, right? She has a very clear, you know, picture of what she wants. And she's like super focused on it. So then, let's say life is, you know, throwing problems at you, right, within this vision, right? Like she finds Trey,

Trey is just picture perfect for her, right? And that's what she's focused on, the picture perfect. She's not necessarily focused on the deeper part of it, which is her whole journey over time, which thank God it works out. The thing about Charlotte, I love it, is she's willing to do the work, right? She's in it.

She's going to do the work. She's going to do whatever she has to do. But she's focused on, you know, this is what I want and this is what I'm going to get. And so then, you know, she doesn't have sex with Trey because she thinks that's the right thing to do. Now, slightly insane idea, but she's got her vision and she's going to try to go after her vision. So then he can't get it up before their wedding.

She's like, I'm not even, I'm just going to, I'm just going to ignore that over there because I got the vision and the vision's good, right? The vision's really good. And I love him and he loves me and it's beautiful. No, no, no, no, no. It's going to work out. So it's like the problems are coming, but she's like, I can handle it. I can handle it.

It's going to work out. I live in that it's going to work out. But then you can't do the work on the other person. person, right? And like I said, Charlotte is willing to do the work, which is great. But sometimes in that pursuit of the vision and living in like, my vision's going to happen, she doesn't even really feel the feelings and see the truth of what's right now. You know? Yeah. So when you're working, if you're dealing with someone else in a situation like this, right, we cannot control other people. We can just control ourselves. But also, I think the bigger message also is with someone like

this, it's acceptance. People have, people say that, and I love this, that acceptance is the first rule of spirituality, that when you can accept something, you free yourself. So I think that she, yeah, she was a little, I love that she was so positive, that she is so positive because you need that to manifest. But at the same time, if you're, like you're saying, she wasn't in touch with her feelings. She wasn't, she was a little delusional, a little too, flighty, a little not grounded enough.

And so it was like a little too extreme. She is, she is. But like just basically she's not in, you know, you were saying when you feel like something's not going to work out, it's not going to work out. That's the opposite of Charlotte, right? But it's also like any extreme is kind of a problem, I feel like. Like if you're just like, it's going to work out. And yet everything in the moment is saying, no, there's X, Y, Z problems.

You need to deal with them. You know what I'm saying? Like she was just like, it's going. it'll work out. But also she, I feel like she had the fear underneath everything that it wasn't going to, and that almost was stronger. Oh. Yeah.

So that's what when you say the universe gives us what we focus on. She was actually more focused on the fear it wasn't going to happen. You mean having the baby? Yes, versus trusting it's going to happen. Well, there's a long reason for that. You might not remember. But, and I think for her, because she's kind of. of alone. She's alone in this, right? And I, that struck me rewatching it also because she,

you know, her friends are not at the same place, right? And they don't want the same things. You know, they're very, everyone's very open about it. So Miranda gets pregnant, you know, by mistake, right? And it's not the best situation. But then she just decides to keep it, which of course is really fascinating and great. And I love how they wrote that. But Charlotte really wants what she wants, but she's very much alone in it in terms of the friends. And then Trey just kind of emotionally abandons her, you know, basically, I don't know that he was ever emotionally fully open to her. Let's put it that way. But I don't know that she knew that because she was so, you know, into the vision and they were so attracted to each other and he was so

great in so many ways, but never really emotionally connected or emotionally expressive, I guess, would be the way to put it. So I feel like for Charlotte, because she has this fertility problem, that no one believes her. They think she's just worried, but she's not worried. She actually has a problem. She goes to the doctor. They finally tell her she has a problem. She tells Miranda.

Miranda's really sweet about it. But she doesn't even know how to, like as much as the friends talk and everything, it's, she doesn't even really know how to turn to the friends about the problem, right? Which is kind of sad. And I didn't think about it that much at the time because also we were kind of young. We were, I think, 35 at this point maybe. We didn't have a lot of friends who'd already gone through all this, you know, fertility problems and issues and all the IVF and all the things that all the people have to do.

It's hard, man. It's really hard. But we were younger and we didn't really know. I didn't personally know how hard. So I think it was interesting that they wrote it. And I think I did my best, obviously. And later on, I was like, oh, I hope I did that because it's really a lot harder than I realized. But I also feel for her watching this that like she's just kind of alone in it.

You know, and when she goes over, does she watch the? the porn. Does the porn come on in this episode? No, that's the next one. She goes over. She's really, like, has really understands now that they're going to break up and she's down about it. And she goes over and they want to watch gay porn because it's a long story about Murray Abraham's character. They were at a party and at a bar and he gives it to Carrie. And the others are watching because it's funny. But she's like, I don't want to watch this. I'm depressed. But they don't really know what to even say to her. You know what I mean? it's kind of sad.

Like when one friend is going through something that the others haven't gone through. I hadn't really thought about that at the time. But I felt bad for Charlotte rewatching that. And I feel like the show, just like the Samantha character, was groundbreaking, was before its time also. So it's cool. It was just at the beginning of when Ivy F and things like that. That's true. Yes.

Starting to be more talked about and more prevalent and more available. But yes, that would be very, very difficult if you. you feel like nobody understands you. Right. And I do think that's what was going on, you know, for her. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it's not like Charlotte is,

Charlotte, I think has a lot of feelings, but I don't think that she knows a whole lot about how to express them. Like, she makes lots of references to being a wasp. And, you know, her family just played tennis when they were upset. And that's what she kind of, she's like, oh, Trey is like me. You know, we're in this wasp category of not shouting, not having big emotions or whatever.

But then it is very limiting. And she can't have a relationship that feels really, really good to her without doing some work on herself, you know, in terms of expressing herself, which I think is great. And I don't know that we ever spit that out exactly. But I do think that that's like a really good, you know, overtime storyline for her. But that was great growth for Charlotte and Trey

because she literally sat in that episode, we don't fight and then they started yelling each other. That's so true. That was good. And I did wonder, because it's one of those things, too, where I can look at the writing and I can see, oh, that's kind of a funny fight, right? Because the girls are watching it.

But then I think to myself, like, did I seem angry enough? I don't know. You know what I mean? Did I? You did. Okay, good. Yes, absolutely. Okay.

Yes. It was so good because you said it so seriously, like wasps do not fight. And then you guys were going crazy to each other. It was good. Oh, good. I'm glad. It was funny. I had forgotten that.

Thank you. I had forgotten about that part. I had remembered that he comes back for the picture, but I had forgotten all the details. It's so sweet. It's so sad and so sweet. Yeah, it was a very emotional episode. They just need a therapist.

I really think Trey and Charlotte need a therapist. And she tried to take him earlier and he wouldn't go. They go like once and he won't do the things. He won't do the work. Well, one of the things that you said about how you were describing this as, I would say an immature, like not as grown up relationship because she was looking at the surface. Yeah.

And until you are, until you've matured more, you do look, you tuck off the boxes. Yes. This is what I'm looking for. Versus what are the really important things to be aligned on financial stuff, lifestyle issues. Do you want kids? How much do you want kids? Yeah. And so they didn't have the important conversations.

It's so true. I mean, they did. And he said, yes, I want kids. let's have kids. And then when they want to. That's a good question. Of course. I do think he,

he at one point, and we never really learn all of Tray's story, right? But like there is a scene back after when they don't have sex with they're married, right? And then she tries to go to therapist they want. And then they break up and then they have sex. And they have a conversation at one point.

And he says, you know, it was just so much pressure, right? Like, because also I proposed to him. He clearly wasn't ready. You know what I mean?

So there's that. But also like the, the pressure of him doing the things that you're supposed to do, you know, like men and women both feel that. Yeah, I think that she was definitely putting a lot of pressure on him. And so once again, yeah, he's showing up inauthentic, not in his own timeline. And when you're in a situation like that, it's never going to work out. Because then it's almost, then the person resents the other person. So he probably resented her, whether it was conscious or not, for pushing him. Like, I was tell my clients to never give someone an ultimatum.

Like, if this doesn't, if the engagement doesn't happen before this time, I'm going to end the relationship. No. That seems so hard for everyone. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's just a hard way to go, you know? Yes. Like, don't you just want to be together?

Like, like, what does that mean? Yeah, I mean, I, I, I've had clients that these girls, you know, they want to get married and I understand, but I have to literally force them to pull back the reins and I explain to them the psychology of it. Do you realize that if you make him, he might resent you and then this is, this isn't good. Right. That's good. That's good. Because I don't think, I think when you are so desperately wanting something, you aren't necessarily able to think about how it is experienced by the other person. Yeah. And I'm happy you brought that up because empathy is so important in a relationship. Absolutely. And that's true.

What you were saying about judgment, right? To think about judgment as being something that is going to block your understanding and your empathy. And your connection. And your connection. That's good. That's good. That's good. You need to connect.

Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. That's really good. Pride Month, Toronto. Pride is an opportunity for you to create your own space to celebrate your existence. Iheart Radio is proud to be an official sponsor of Pride Toronto Festival. and we won't stop.

Celebrate pride. Turn up the love and listen to Iheart Pride Canada. Your 24-7 radio stream and the only playlist you need for your Toronto Pride celebrations. Pride is so great because it gives a whole bunch of people this visibility that they've never had before. We have a ton to celebrate Toronto. Happy Pride. Iheart Radio. In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever.

I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no anything. Inside those eyes, they turned black. It scared the hell out of me. That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fair to say this was the biggest case of your career?

Yes, sir. Rape a murder for a child. Just as bad as it gets. I would think so. People wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Crevent and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.

I said I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the degree. Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the devil's quarry ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to LaVa for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. Together, guys, we'll have meaningful

conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, Tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy after a breakup. Joy as an empty nester. Joy after a loss.

Joy as a caretaker. This new podcast will speak to you. Listen to Joy 101 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got, like, so much more to do. Like, Prince, he dropped, like, 30 albums.

We dropped, like, five right now. Like, that's the rate we got to be going. Yep, that's a good attitude. You also hear stories from industry legends and hip-hop pioneers like Fab Five Freddy. I directed when Nas' early videos. Which one? One love. Wow.

I literally filmed in his apartment in Queensbridge. His moms were still up in that apartment. Nause was just beginning to take off. His pops used to live near me in Harlem. His dad introduced him to a whole lot of, you know, conscious stuff, and he made a young prodigy. No matter the era, Drink Chams brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations.

Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you ever think about, I don't know if this is me leaping because I do think about this a lot? You know how social media has kind of amplified negative. negativity. Do you feel that that's true? I feel that that's true. And I feel like it's so bad for everyone. You know, I think it's a weird thing because I think people think that they're bonding

through the negativity, right, with other people who feel negative about the same thing or whatever it is. But I feel like the negativity then creates judgment, right? And the judgment is so loud and like in front like it shades everything that that you you can't even see what you're talking about anymore you know so what you're what you're talking about is called trauma bonding oh yeah and it's yeah it's never going to work i i always say that your relationship should be your solace the peace in your life with all the stress and the fear and the negativity in the world your relationship should be that place the warm soft landing the arms And so it doesn't mean that if two people, because we talked about unresolved issues, two people can come together that have unresolved issues.

However, you need to do the work. Do the work to heal. Mm-hmm. Kill together. Heal individually. And the whole like the whole negativity thing. Yeah. If you're bringing all this negativity into a relationship, it might feel good and like home because you're used to drama and everything, maybe from what you saw growing up or in your past relationships.

But it's not healthy. It's not sustainable. And it's ultimately not going to make you happy. So that is also why I do this work to inspire people to know that what relationships actually can be. You never need to settle. And you deserve to be happy. That's good. That's good.

Let's talk about that. That reminded me of Samantha. Because what I love about this particular episode for Samantha, she's got Richard. We've had Richard for a little bit now. And it's been this kind of theme of like she's trying to focus on the fact that it's just great sex. and he has a beautiful, you know what, and blah, blah, blah. And this one, I had forgotten how it ended. And someone, a past guest said, like, oh, like,

remember when they play the Chaudet song? And I was like, no, I don't remember. They play the Chaudet song. I had remembered the pool location. It's a beautiful apartment. I was there for some reason. I don't know because obviously Charlotte never goes to Richard's apartment. I don't think.

But anyway, I was there and it was gorgeous, like just dropped dead. incredible, like just to have that pool on that roof and have that view, oh my goodness me, really dreamy. But I had forgotten what a great sequence of scenes that is between them. And how interesting Kim is, you know, in this phase of Samantha, because she obviously has feelings, but she's like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to give in. I'm not going to give in to the feelings. And she's really trying everything.

but he's and he's also Richard, James Reymour who plays Richard, he's so good because he's very simple in how he is with her. Like he doesn't give up like power in the relationship, but he also kind of cuts through her kind of like blousey kind of like,

it's just sex, you know, he just kind of cuts through in such a really interesting, simple way. And it is really gorgeous and beautiful. And then when the song plays because he wants to dance with her And he wanted to have dinner. He has dinner set up.

And she's like, no. And she drops her clothes. And she tells him to drop his clothes. And then he drops his clothes. I've forgotten about all this. And I think it was so beautifully shot by Charles McDougal also because it was very tasteful, but beautiful. They're both very beautiful.

And then they swim and, you know, obviously have sex, I assume. And then he wants to dance. And the Chaudet comes on. She's like, no. And then he gets her to anyway. And she looks, she has so much feeling. and it's so sweet. Yes.

I loved this so much, so much emotion. What was interesting, I thought, because I hadn't seen it in 20 years, I thought that when she showed up and she said, no, let's just have sex, not have dinner. I thought he was going to say, no, let's have dinner. So it was a good tease of foreshit or whatever. Yeah. Because at the end, he does turn things around a little bit. And the best thing was you saw in her eyes, she, I don't know if he saw this, but. She was not, she wasn't crying.

She got emotional. Yeah, I saw it. Of course I saw. Yeah. She, she bowled up because it was like almost for the first time we're seeing Samantha have these. Yeah. It was great. And, but that's what love can, that's what love can do.

Yeah, for sure. For sure. It's really nice. It's so nice. And, and beautifully, beautifully done. You know, I had, I kind of forgotten. I knew intellectually like, oh, she meets her match, right? Like, he's powerful and, you know,

wheeling and dealing and all the things, right? But like it's really, it's, it's very beautiful, the coming together and so beautifully filmed and the song and all the things really work. Let's also, we haven't talked about Miranda, poor Miranda trying to have sex. Oh my gosh. I had forgotten about this too.

What do you think of this as a therapist? I think it's so funny. There was a part where she's like, what are most people doing this? situation. And someone was like, maybe Carrie was like, nobody else is in the situation. I know. I know. I mean, someone is. Okay. Someone is. There are people out there who get pregnant and aren't with the person that they got pregnant with. I definitely think there are people out there. But it isn't your average dating situation. But it's really interesting. It's really interesting.

When she was talking about is the penis going to dent the baby. I, I, my son is, I have a son. And my husband, I was worried that he was going to poke. I called it poking. My son. I was worried also. I think maybe it's a normal thing. I don't know. Yeah. Anyhow.

So, yes. I think it's empowering, especially going into the world we're living in now. It's so empowering. I think it's a fun, cute storyline. And, yeah, she got pregnant with this guy who she wasn't going to be married to. And if she falls in love with this guy who actually could be something, why not? I'm all for it. well i don't even think it was about falling in love with them i think she just wants to have sex

because she's got a lot of hormones going you know what i'm saying you're a love therapist over there you're so cute but i mean this guy was pretty impressive you know but i think that miranda and this is what i do love about her you know she's really independent and she's not trying to look for love or you know find the guy or whatever she's the opposite of charlotte in so many ways well so is samantha really But I love that about her. And then Love kind of just takes her, like, shows up, you know, in a way that, like, you know, she can't deny. Which is just like with the baby. She's like, I'm not going to have the baby.

This makes no sense. But then she has the baby because she's like, I want to have the baby. So she's going to have the baby. She's going to make it work. She's going to find a way to make it work. I love that about her. It's very inspiring. Yeah.

And also we were, she was, she's this working woman. And once again, this is like, forishing, this is going into this whole world where women's empowerment, women working, having babies, having it all. And so it was cool to see that this is like right before we're going into this next phase of seeing that a lot. Definitely. Most definitely. Most definitely. And yes, it's wonderful. I mean, she does end up marrying Steve, as we all know. But it's great that she was open to not doing that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that actor, he was very good looking. Oh my God. Yes. Let's find his name. He was. And he is later on The Last of Us. which is funny because yeah yeah we have a couple people who are it's Robert John Burke and I

I'm just still trying to figure out where I know his work from separate from our show he's really good really really really handsome and really good and you can totally see why she would be like oh this is incredible I should have sex with this dude or whatever and then I don't I guess nothing happens but I mean too bad he seemed very very impressive and he knew he knew all the languages and he was like a world traveler. It was very interesting, very much like Miranda's equal, you know, in so many ways. Yeah, intellectual, intelligent. Right. Right. What she wants. That's what she wants, which is very interesting. But obviously, you're pregnant with someone else's baby. It is kind of, you know, it's a situation. It's a situation. Yeah, but I like that once again, so before it's time,

because situations like this probably happen, like way more often now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And And I think if the guy, whoever it is, let's say a different situation, if this actually turns into a relationship, I mean, people are blending their families. Yes. Having babies and then they get divorced after the baby, before the baby's born. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These things are happening all the time. And as somebody said yesterday, called it a second act or a third act, whatever, you know, as long as you end up finally with whoever is right for you, it's all.

good. People are having babies and having babies with more than one man to, you know, I just, I just, people to be happy. Definitely. Most definitely. Well, thank you so much. That was really fun. You have a lot of really interesting insights. I appreciate it so much. Of course. I'm so happy to be here. I was so, I mean, this show, I mean, I watched every episode and I mean, at the time, it's very interesting because the guy was in love, at the time his name was John. So when I found out that Mr. Bigg's name was John, I was like, it was crazy. Wait, did you finish your story about your friends and the names?

Yeah. So my friends, we, there was four of us, and we all had, we were all designated to somebody. So I was Carrie. My friend Betsy was Charlotte. Oh, that's a good name. She literally looks like you. Where's the pearls? Definitely more by the books, like just more proper.

One of my friends was because she was, I'm not saying names, because she was maybe a little promiscuous. She was Samantha. And then there was literally a lawyer in our group. So she was. Fantastic. I don't know. That's great. Yeah.

And did it, did it, did they want to be these, everybody? Like, was everyone happy with their person? Yeah. I mean, they, I think that maybe the permissible. This goes one was maybe a little offended. I don't know. Oh, no. Samantha's super powerful.

The lawyer one said she got that one by default because the three of us were. Whatever. But it's okay. And we would, we would, this is before, this is when we would go, and I was a picture taker. I had always in my camera, we would go out with our stylish outfits and take a picture and we'd be like, we are, like, this is who we are. And we were like, oh my God, there's the Sex and City Girl. So, it was, yeah, such a.

great fun time. That's good. I'm so glad. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Of course. This is so much fun. I'm so glad. Thank you. Thank you. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on their chats. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Cotfi is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by

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and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got, like, so much more to do. Like, Prince, he dropped, like, 30 albums.

We job like five right now. That's the rate we got to be going. Yep, that's a good attitude. No matter the era, Drink Chams brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations. Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is, getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akila Hughes.

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