Are You A Charlotte? - Her Return is Worth the Waithe with Lena Waithe... (S3 E5 "No Ifs, Ands or Butts)
Episode Date: November 17, 2025Lena Waithe returns to discuss a controversial episode. Lena provides valuable insight regarding an episode that has received criticism throughout the years. Plus, Lena reveals the “boyfriend&rd...quo; she LOVES!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is an I-Heart podcast.
Meaningful connections often show up when you least expect it
in those small, surprising moments.
So I'm very excited that today's sponsor, Bumble,
makes it easier to notice those little sparks.
With features like shared interests and prompts,
you can showcase your personality right on your profile
and connect with people who get your vibe.
So if you're curious about who might bring a little more joy into your life,
Bumble is a great place to start.
Ready to meet someone great, start your love story on Bumble.
What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream,
and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?
You get Desi Arness.
On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama,
I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life,
how he redefined American television and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines,
waiting for a face like hours on screen.
Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama on the I,
Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
What up, y'all?
It's your boy, Kevin on stage.
I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment,
where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends,
people I admire who have had massive success about their massive failures.
What did they mess up on?
What is their heartbreak?
And what did they learn from it?
I got judged horribly.
The judges were like, you're trash.
I don't know how you got on the show.
Check out Not My Best Moment with me.
kept on stage on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On this week's episode of the next chapter, I, D.D. Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey,
a media mogul philanthropist, and global trailblazer.
I could feel inside myself at four or five years old looking through the screen on the back porch
that this is not going to be my life.
Listen to the next chapter on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast, episodes drop weekly.
On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.
And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, do I have scurvy at 3 a.m.
And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes.
In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic.
How preventable is type 2?
Extremely.
Listen to health stuff on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Kristen Davis, and I want to know, are you a Charlotte?
You guys, this is very, very, very exciting.
We are having the very first return guest.
I'm so thankful to Ms. Lena Waits.
Thank you for having me back.
It's brilliant, brilliant to have you back.
I'm so honored and grateful to be back for my second time, my second appearance.
We just count down the days until we can get you back.
Look, let's go.
It's my favorite season.
Oh, it's my favorite season two.
Season three is my favorite.
Right?
I feel like it's when everything gelled.
Everything gills.
That's usually how it goes with a season three of shows.
But I think for this particular series, I think something that happens about season
like even for me and I was watching it in real time at the time and just really experiencing
what everybody else was experiencing this this show that was very prolific but was very
much a product of its time yes yeah yes indeed which we're going to discuss you guys because
this episode is called no ifs ands or buts yeah it aired July 5th in the year 2000 25 years
ago. Wow. So bonkers to me. Yeah. I mean, it does seem like another lifetime ago, but on the other hand, like, if you literally think 25 years, it's like, it makes no sense. Right. I'm 41, so I was like, you know, in my 20s. And where were you when you were in your 20s? I was still in Chicago, but, you know, gearing up to come to L.A. Got it. But really with a desire, to be a television writer, and I've said this public.
before, but I think sex in the city
really made me
want to take it very seriously
and I was
very charmed and moved by
the voiceover, for sure,
the character development, the friendships on the show.
I think it's why it's on
Netflix and everywhere else
and we continue to go back and you guys were able
to keep going back for different bites at the Apple,
no pun intended.
But yeah, I think
I was sort of really seeing
a different kind of TV show
because I did grow up on multi-cams
you know whether it be friends
fresh prints you know
Cosby show a different world
and I think what was so special
about this was like oh no this is like
a mini movie every week
and it is a but it's also like a novel
and and I'm just
so taken by these characters
and it really was I think my generation's
you know Mary Tyler Moore show
and how that was so significant
for women
in the 70s, this, I think the 2000s was sort of, that was our new sort of awakening.
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think for us, like we were just in it, like I was telling you that
we had Kyle on and I guess it won't have aired by the time everyone's listening to us, but it was
super interesting to be reflecting back on it because we had never reflected together. We had
never talked about it, nothing. Crazy. You know, we were just in it back then. And we didn't
have social media, so we didn't have this immediate response in real time. Right.
which had we aired
this particular episode
where Samantha decides
to date a black man
for the first time ever
which is so bizarre
okay
but do we know it's for the first time ever?
She implies it greatly
and I went and looked up
a few things like
the actors who plays
the sister who's so great
the actors are all so great
the name is Sandra Oakley
she's very good
and she was already friends
with the guy
Osseo Highsmith
who plays the guy that Samantha date
Shivan they were already friendly
which was so nice
and they were very
excited and then she said later like maybe even just a couple days later she was like oh I wish it had been a
different story and I feel so bad that she felt that like we just didn't do that well I don't think
Lena well the actress the the actress playing his sister wished it was a different story I'm curious in terms of how
meaning I think basically it was for vanity fair they did a they did an article in vanity fair about it
relatively recently so she was reflecting back on how she was in her 20s and she was going to
auditions and dancing and doing all different things and it was a big part for her she was excited to get it
she was excited to be on our set and she said our set was a very positive experience also happy to hear that
always wonderful to hear um but then she said just the fact I think the thing she was most lamenting was
that she and Samantha fight that it was an angry black woman type of a thing that wasn't and I think
the problem with this episode and I can't wait to hear what you have to say is that for some reason and I
think I know what in my memory we were doing or what the idea was, we decided to try to tackle
the fact that there were no people of color in the show, which is not how New York City is,
obviously.
But this particular group of people, and we had discussed it.
It had come up.
Different people would bring it up in interview situations or whatever, and they would say,
like, do you feel, to us, the actors, do you feel this is reflective of New York?
And we would always kind of stammer, you know, and we'd say, like, you know, we don't write it.
And, you know, we're playing this kind of really specific group of people based on real people.
And this is what their lives is like, which I don't really know if that's true, right?
Because I don't really know those people that we were kind of playing.
I mean, to me, it feels very authentic, actually.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
That for white women hang out with each other.
For sure.
But what about?
one removed, right? Like, my
question would be, and we do
start, you know, soon Sonia Bragg is coming
on, right? Like, soon it does start
to loosen up a bit, thank God,
but like, are you only
hanging out? Do you only ever
see white people? Like, if you look
back, because now I'm watching every episode,
right? Like, it is kind of amazing,
like in restaurants or in bars.
It's just white people.
Well,
it's interesting because
there is a level of
people, people don't understand is that there's
there are companies that actually do
like day player casting
there are extras casting
and so I think
what is also happening
because oftentimes you guys are being
in real restaurants
and sometimes you're
I think the place you guys usually go
is a fictitious place
obviously.
The coffee shop.
Yes, it's obviously there for that reason.
So I think this sort of is its own world
I mean there's another thing about sex in the city too
which is very specific
and something I actually really like
is that we never meet the character's parents.
Right. And that was intentional.
It was intentional.
Right. Right. Right.
And so this is, it is a fantasy of New York in a way.
But also what is sort of grappling with are all these different topics.
And I felt the same way about girls.
I don't want a black or brown character put into the frame for a quota's sake.
It's true.
I just don't.
Good point.
I don't enjoy it.
I don't like it.
Right.
Because either you're doing that to.
pacify, or you're doing it in a way where if there's going to be some sort of specificity
about the character, it depends on who's in the writer's room as well.
Yes.
So I don't know in terms of for the, and I know a lot of the writers that were on, you know,
on sex in the city, you know, I've gotten a chance to meet many of them.
And yeah, I think for the most part, the room was mostly like white women.
It was all white women at this point, except for Michael.
Right. And so that is a reflection of their experiences.
And I think it would have felt a little false for them to say, well, let's put a black character in here because we think it's the right thing to do.
Right.
I'd rather you do it because it feels organic and it feels honest.
Well, then, so my question about this episode, because I do feel like at some point, people pointed it out and we felt uncomfortable about it, I guess, right?
or like, is this their world or should it be their?
What should we do?
Do what I mean?
A lot of, I mean, look, I think there are a lot of people that hang out with people that look like them.
For sure.
That's just sort of what it is.
That's true.
And especially when you look at our society now, people are in echo chambers.
They only talk to people that they agree with.
That's true.
And so I think what Sex and the City represents are four women that, in my opinion,
happen to be white.
And what's interesting to me about it being Samantha, who's dating a black guy, and I can't
speak for all black women.
I can speak for myself in that I look at Samantha as someone who is a woman of the world
and who is very free and very open-minded.
And so her dating a black guy doesn't feel out of the ordinary, in my opinion.
I agree.
That's why it's weird that it seems like she never has.
based on our reaction, I think.
Do you mean at the coffee shop?
Yeah, you guys were like, huh?
Yeah, and it's interesting
because he's also a man of means, influence.
He's very handsome.
And to me, they're very equally yoked.
I thought they were fantastic.
And I think the character, you know, his sister,
one I thought the actress who plays her
is really great in the episode.
I get the sort of cringy element of them fighting.
But, you know, look, Samantha says something pretty tough to her.
So I'm kind of not mad at her, like having a knee-jerk reaction.
People, like, we've witnessed someone have a knee-jerk reaction at a very popular award show because of something that kind of startled them.
True.
So we have these moments where you kind of, you know, for lack of a better term, black out, you know, and you kind of do something that you kind of regret.
Right.
So I don't look at it as she was an angry black woman.
I looked at it as a woman who was feeling very attacked.
And Samantha touched her first.
Yeah, that was kind of ick.
Yeah, maybe it wasn't a violent thing.
But it was weird.
But look, if you put your hands, even if it's a finger on me.
Yeah, it was strange.
Yeah, I agree.
You know, I agree.
You know, but here's the thing.
I think there is an authenticity to what's happening in that
not every black woman who has a black brother would have a problem with him dating a white woman.
But I think if you, there are probably some black women who would say, would I prefer him not be with a white woman?
Yes. Of course.
But I think where I sit, and again, this is Lena Waith's opinion, I think love is so hard to figure out and come by.
I don't care what race, nationality, religion a person is.
If they accept you for who you are, you accept them for who they are,
and you both are willing to invest in your own spiritual growth and each others,
I'm all for it.
I agree 100%.
Now, that is, you know, that's my opinion.
But I also have to respect if someone says, because it's a thing we took on on the shy.
We tackle dating.
We're like, that was a season seven, you know, where a black man was dating a white woman,
and it is literally a conversation where Felicia Rashad is at the table and saying,
this goes all the way back to Emmett Till.
Yeah.
There's a history that is steeped in it.
And the thing about our past is that it still haunts us.
Of course.
And that's why, you know, there's a reason why there's a million O.J. Simpson documentaries.
For sure.
And the retelling of it.
Yes.
Reexamining over and over.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
I do.
And so it is a conversation that will continue.
Absolutely.
Well, it's not worked out.
We're not, obviously.
No one did.
Yes.
We have not figured it out.
This is not a wound that is healed.
No.
So when you look at this episode, it is, it is a valid one.
Okay.
And I think it's, it's fair, it's fair game.
And so this is something that, that comes up.
Interracial dating is a thing.
I have many friends who are the products of interracial love.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
We all do, you know.
And so, look, it's,
If people want to be upset, they can be like.
Yeah, but how do we handle it, though?
That's my...
What do you mean?
How did you handle it?
How did the show handle it?
Yeah, like I didn't feel like when I, I kind of vaguely remembered.
And then, of course, I re-watched it.
I was like, ooh, like, I think also because we're trying to do four storylines.
As you know, we've talked about the structure.
You know, the structure's always a challenge.
And the big, sorry, the big storyline exactly is Aiden.
Right.
And Aiden's new.
It's very exciting.
He wants her not to smoke.
This is so fascinating when you think about their long, long history.
right, like he already wants her not to be doing
something she's doing, right? Whether smoking is good
or not, whatever. As Easton pointed
out, he already is trying to control her, which is
interesting. Oh, we'll save her life.
We either, yes, both. Both,
let's say, let's say. But it's interesting, right?
So that's the main storyline. And so
Samantha's is this, well, I don't even know, and then
there's, yeah, it's probably B. C story. Yeah, and I
think a sin is C. You're with the bad kisser.
I'm the bad kisser who's also very bizarre. We'll talk
about that. Very different on the page
than what Nicole Halafson or the director
had happened. Like the dialogue
doesn't match, but that's okay. If it were on now, people would be online talking about,
you know, he didn't do what she said. You know, because he's licking my face, but then I
have a big, a big wound on my chin. And I say he attacked my face. Right, but he's just
licking it. Like how he's just looking like he was like kind of going in on there. Was he? Okay. Okay.
I mean, I know what it was like how I remember it feeling or whatever. And it was just like
a lot. It was wet. It was very wet. There was so much wet. It was bad. But it wasn't like I
would have a wound, right? And I'll get to that in a second because I know why Michael Patrick
did that because he's so bad and sometimes he would put things in from life but we'll get
to that in a second but um i think when i look back on it one of the things that i think is glaring
like Samantha says to to us at lunch i don't see color i see conquest
which is like a very Samantha statement but also like that's a problem if you don't see color
because you do see color because everything else you say she talks about his big black cock
you know she talked you know we talk about him wearing jewelry but like aden's wearing more jewelry
than Chivon.
Do you mean?
It's interesting.
Well, I mean,
it's just because you asked the question,
how did you guys handle it?
Yeah.
And I think that's a very,
it's sort of an interesting question
because it's like,
it really depends on what you mean by handle.
Mm-hmm.
And I think with, you know,
television series,
because somebody could ask us,
like, how do we think we handled
my characters coming out
on Master of None?
Yeah.
We did not necessarily handle it.
What we did was we approached it in the way that made sense for us as artists at that time.
And so I think we kind of get caught up in these ideas of what is the right way to handle something.
Okay.
What is the wrong way to handle something?
And I just don't believe in either of those things.
Okay.
On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
Yes, I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.
And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled,
Do I have scurvy at 3 a.m?
On health stuff, we're talking about health in a different way.
It's not only about what we can do to improve our health,
but also what our health says about us and the way we're living.
Like our episode where we look at diabetes.
In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic.
How preventable is type 2?
extremely or our in-depth analysis of how incredible mangoes are oh it's hard to explain to the rest
of the world like your mangoes are fine because mangoes are incredible but like you don't even know you
don't know you don't know it's going to be a fun ride so tune in listen to health stuff on the
iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
financial markets can be hard to spot.
Even though they are such a powerful player in finance,
you wouldn't really know that you are interacting with them.
And even harder to understand.
Donald Trump's trade war, 2.0,
is only accelerating the process of de-dollarization,
which in a way is jargon for people turning away from the dollar.
That is where the big take from Bloomberg podcast comes in,
to connect the dots.
How unusual is a deal like this?
Unprecedented.
Every weekday afternoon,
we dive deep into one big global business story.
The biggest story of the reaction of the oil market
to the conflict in the Middle East
is one of what has not happened.
Katie, you told me that
ETFs are your favorite thing.
They are. Explain that. Why is that the case?
And unpack what it means for you.
Our breakfast foods are consistent consumer staples,
and so they sort of become outsized indicators of inflation.
Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News
every weekday afternoon on the IHeart Radio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
She said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night.
Along the Central Texas Plains, teens are dying.
Suicides that don't make sense.
Strange accidents and brutal murders.
In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.
Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.
There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.
Listen to Paper Ghosts, the Texas Teen Murders,
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood,
a Cuban musician with a dream,
and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?
You get Desi Arnest, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband,
and maybe, most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.
I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up.
watching him, probably just like you and millions of others. But for me, I saw myself in his
story. From plening canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways. On the podcast
starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life. The moments
it has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us
watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like hours on screen. This is the story of how
one man's spotlight lit the path for so many others.
and how we carry his legacy today.
Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama.
That's part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
What up y'all?
It's your boy, Kevin on stage.
I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Month, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures.
What do they mess up on?
What is their heartbreak?
And what did they learn from it?
I got judged horribly.
The judges were like, you're trash.
I don't know how you got on the show.
Boo, somebody had tomatoes.
No, I'm kidding.
But if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes.
Let's be honest.
We've all had those moments we'd rather forget.
We bumped our head.
We made a mistake.
The deal fell through.
We're embarrassed.
We failed.
But this podcast is about that and how we made it through.
So when they sat me down, they were kind of like,
We got into the small talk, and they were just like, so what do you got?
What? What ideas?
And I was like, oh, no.
What?
Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kevin on stage on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.
But let me ask you this.
So when, if you bring up your own storyline, like you live that storyline and you were there writing and acting, right?
So you had your own authority.
about the experience.
And I think that's, you know, gold.
You know what I'm saying?
And obviously it was.
And worthy of it.
But in our case, what I kind of mean,
and I maybe didn't say it well,
I wish if we were going to do this,
that they had gone more in depth, possibly,
what the actress who played the sister was saying
was that when they are in the bar
in the scene where they get in the fight,
that Samantha says something to her, like,
why can't you just, you know, get to know me or let me whatever,
let me go down the road and see what you think or something.
And she said, it's a black thing.
The sister says it's a black thing.
And she was saying something like she thought that was like,
like simple and pat, I guess, you know,
rather than possibly exploring it more.
The truth is you only have so much real estate on the page.
And also, I think, first of all, like, it's a black thing.
was something that was a bit of a popular saying
for a short beat
within the black community.
And like I remember when I was young,
I would hear like people say it within the black folks
to say it.
But the way it was kind of as a short cut
as saying, I can never make you understand.
Got it.
You know, like you will never understand this.
Okay, okay.
And so and I think, you know,
you don't, because also they're in the middle of this club.
You don't, she doesn't want to go down
into the history of our, you know, nation.
Right, right, right.
But she really is sort of telling Samantha, like, you don't, you'll never get it, you know.
And in essence, because what I know, as a television writer, both characters have to be right.
And in essence, they are.
Mm-hmm.
Because Samantha is saying, well, okay, yeah, I'm not black, but, like, you don't know me.
You haven't gotten a chance to spend time.
And the interesting thing is, as a person who really likes the Samantha character, I wouldn't mind.
out with her and getting to know her and
vibing with her. She's the fun friend.
She's the one that's not going to judge you.
You're going to go. You're going to get into some exclusive place.
You know, she's a vibe.
And so, what breaks my heart
the most about the episode
is that we don't get to explore
Samantha dating this black guy.
I agree. Also, because they are so good together.
That's what always breaks me. That's always broken my heart
about the episode. Interesting.
It's not about how it was, that's this handled per se.
Okay. But rather like, it would have
been cool if we could have
that actress could have had maybe a three-episode
art. Because that's usually how long the relationships
last on sex in the city.
And then had them break up over something that
had nothing to do with race. That would have been so
good. But now look, I
think for whatever reason they didn't want to go down
their road and that's fair because there wasn't a black writer
in the writer's room. And it does get
tricky where if you have black actors
speaking and there's no
black person around
then my, for me
I'd rather like then don't even
deal with race at all.
Like, don't let that be a part of it.
If you guys are too scared to, like, kind of go down that road,
just let it be, you know, whatever.
But because I think they didn't want to ignore the glaring fact
that this is a black woman, she's got this restaurant,
she's talking about Okra and whatnot.
You got the brother, he's got the Jennifer Lopez release party.
So they're very much sort of culturally, you know,
intelligent and they know what's going on.
They're not unaware of who they are where they come from.
I just think it's important
I like the episode
I think yeah
of course it may you could go back
and tweak or adjust things
but I just feel like it's a time capsule
all entertainment is a time capsule
I don't want to go back and say
well let's fix this for our comfort
no of course and I mean we can't
so it doesn't even matter if we want to
and it's reflective
you got to go back and reflect
and say okay because I'm telling you
it could have been a lot worse
it could have been a situation where you look
at it and go, okay, well, we got to talk about this and we can talk about that. I really,
do you want to see women fighting? Like, no, but most reality shows that most people watch
involve grown women. So true. Professional women. Well-dressed women. Yeah.
Physically fighting each other. Which is so weird. Throwing tables, throwing like, you know,
like drinks. So true. And so that,
I can't be offended by that episode and act as if that women kind of going back and forth at each other isn't something that is pushed by some powers that be that are not us.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
I hadn't thought about it in that way.
I did think about the year 2000 a little bit.
And that was like the Survivor had started.
It was really big.
You know, Friends is obviously big ER.
You know, it's pretty much white network television world.
And then we're over there on HBO.
but I think that is one of the frustrations
that people would express to us at the time
was you guys are on HBO and you can do whatever you want
so why is it so, you know, white, basically.
People would say to it away.
But here's the deal.
Our entertainment, our media is a reflection of our society.
And we live in what I like to call a white-leaning society.
You live in a white-leaning society.
I'll use the Oscars as an example.
How many women have won best lead actress in the motion picture?
One.
White one, yeah.
Her name is Holly Berry.
Yeah, yeah.
How long have the Oscars been around?
Eight hundred million years.
Again, we live in a very white, leaning society.
And that's sort of what it is.
Yeah.
You know?
And so I think in 2000, it's like that's a reality of what TV was.
And at the same time, I, a young black queer woman in Chicago, was watching the show.
and really felt
it's interesting because I don't know if the word is to say
I felt seen
that's not necessarily right
but I felt the show's humanity
I felt
because I was still living with my mom
I wasn't out in the world
but what I was seeing
what you guys did such a beautiful job of
was saying
your friendships
are
what will determine what your relationships ultimately look like.
So good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was always the point. Definitely.
It's like, these men are like, they're going to come and go. And sometimes women will come and go.
Right. It is the friendship that sticks. And that is actually a reflection of how I still live my life.
And it's not about putting friendships before my relationships, because I do understand that as well.
And that with the characters, when your character gets married, they aren't afraid to show us what happens.
There's an empty chair now.
Right.
Right.
And they're like, for a moment.
For a moment.
For a moment.
For a moment.
You come back.
But you're the first of the four to transition.
And they also show us what happens when one of your friends has a baby.
Right.
Now she got the baby at the damn table.
Right.
And you guys are like, and Samantha's like, what?
is going on like what are we come on and she's frustrated yeah it's an inconvenience yes for her
yes and you guys are like yo sam you got a bro like she got a kid now relax right like or you at the
table what are you only talking about your husband and what's going on and like art this or that
yes yes yes but it's practice it's true and it's also it's intimacy it's chosen family yes and that
it is put and that what michael patrick did say
one point two, which I think is also like even maybe one layer underneath it, is all about your
relationship to yourself, you know, and figuring out who you are and what you really want,
what's true to you, which I think we've always tried to do, you know, in the whole history
of all of it. Like someone came on the other day and they were saying how unhappy they were
that Carrie ends and just like that single. And I said, well, that's really funny because
when we ended sex in the city and she was not single, people were outraged.
Really?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Okay.
People were outraged.
Some people were outraged.
Everyone's going to project their own thing.
Right, exactly.
Right.
I mean, but an idea.
I read an article about that, about her, you know, winding up on her own.
But I also think it's a statement of the times.
I do too.
Yes.
It's a whole thing.
It's very, it's very topical.
Did you see this woman wrote this article about being embarrassed to have a boyfriend?
No, I did.
Oh, my God.
It's so good.
and fascinating. Oh, good. So, you know, on social media, it used to, there was like a whole
relationship reveal thing and, like, my boyfriend's so wonderful. It's still, that's still for sure.
But I mean, now there's another kind of almost like counter programming to that going, you know what,
I am my own woman. I make my own money and I go on trips by myself. Well, hello, Tracy Ellis Ross.
I told her, I said, I told Tracy, I said, you are a brand of woman. Like, it's like, am I single,
am I divorced? No, I'm Tracy Ellis Ross. Totally. And that is the future of like resorts, apparently.
currently. Single women wellness.
Well, Tracy has a whole show about it.
I know. It's amazing. It's amazing.
And obviously you pair that with like Carrie's character, you know, being on her own.
But I think a big part of that is, I know there's a lot of women, I want to say of a certain age.
I don't know what that age can be. It can be any age. But there are a lot of women who are like, you know what?
I'd rather do this solo. And, and some of that may have to do with who are their options.
Yeah. What are what's coming? You know, do some women saying let me maybe entertain the idea.
of dating a woman or someone who's non-binary.
Definitely.
But also, again, we live in a patriarchal society.
Right.
And we're still, like, finding.
Men are the top of the pyramid.
Yeah, but we're, and it's interesting that we're, like, trying to figure out, like, how to,
like, we're going around in a circuit about how to deal with that.
Do you feel?
What you mean, in terms of the patriarchal element?
Yeah, like, in terms of, I'm a single woman, right?
I've got a lot of money.
Thank God, you know, I've worked hard about my kids.
Don't really need a man.
You know what I mean?
But people are so confused by it.
Well, here's the deal.
I mean, I think to me it's interesting because I was also seeing I didn't get a chance to watch.
I saw the click, the thumbnail and the thing.
But I haven't watched the video yet.
But it was saying, are women getting the men they deserve?
Oh.
And right.
So I saved it.
I will watch that later because I'm curious what that.
It's a podcast.
I'm like sure what that conversation is like.
But the truth is, and I don't even say person too.
I don't want to make it so binary.
Right.
But the truth is it's a matter of.
of do you want to be on your own team
or do you want to be in a scenario
where you're on the team with someone else?
And that is, those are two very different lifestyles.
For sure, for sure.
And they both come with their pros and cons.
Right.
On the podcast Health Stuff,
we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
Yes, I'm Dr. Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.
And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled,
Do I have scurvy at 3 a.m?
On health stuff, we're talking about health in a different way.
It's not only about what we can do to improve our health,
but also what our health says about us and the way we're living.
Like our episode where we look at diabetes.
In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic.
How preventable is type 2?
Extremely.
Or our in-depth analysis of how incredible mangoes are.
Oh, it's hard to explain to the rest of the world.
Your mangoes are fine because mangoes are incredible, but like you don't even know.
You don't know.
You don't know.
It's going to be a fun ride.
So tune in.
Listen to Health Stuff on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The Big Take podcast from Bloomberg News dives deep into one big global business story every weekday.
A shutdown means we don't get the data, but it also means for President Trump that there's no chance of bad news on the labor market.
What does a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich reveal about the economy?
Our breakfast foods are consistent consumer staples, and so they sort of become outsize indicators of inflation.
What's behind Elon Musk's trillion dollar payout?
There's a sort of concerted effort to message that Musk is coming back.
He's putting politics aside.
He's left the White House.
And what can the PCE tell you that the CPI can't?
CPI tries to measure out-of-pocket costs that consumers are paying for things,
whereas the PCE index that the Fed targets is a little bit broader of a measure.
Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the IHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your pay.
podcasts.
And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night.
Along the central Texas plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense,
strange accidents, and brutal murders.
In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.
Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.
There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.
Listen to paper ghosts.
teen murders on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the
most iconic sitcoms of all time? You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband,
and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open. I'm Wilmer Valderrama,
and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others. But for me,
I saw myself in his story.
From plening canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways.
On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderama,
I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life,
the moments it has overlapped with mine,
how he redefined American television
and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines,
waiting for a face like hours on screen.
This is the story of how one-man's spotlight
lit the path for so many others
and how we carry his legacy today.
Listen to starring Desiarding Desi's,
Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama.
That's part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
What up, y'all?
It's your boy, Kevin on stage.
I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures.
What did they mess up on?
What is their heartbreak?
And what did they learn from it?
I got judged horribly.
The judges were like, you're trash.
I don't know how you got on the show.
Boo, somebody had tomatoes.
I'm kidding.
But if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes.
Let's be honest.
We've all had those moments we'd rather forget.
We bumped our head.
We made a mistake.
The deal fell through.
We're embarrassed.
We failed.
But this podcast is about that and how we made it through.
So when they sat me down, they were kind of like, we got into the small talk.
And they were just like, so what do you got?
What ideas?
And I was like, oh, no.
What?
Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kevin on stage on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.
When I look back on the show, there's so many things like with Steve, Steve in this particular episode.
Oh, man, really good episode for Steve.
It's so good.
He's so good.
He's great.
Isn't he so great?
And I really, really didn't.
to understand at the time how great he was.
I think I've always liked Steve.
He's amazing.
He's always. Blue collar guy.
And just so solid, real.
Grounded.
Grounded and solid and like such a big heart.
Oh my God, huge heart.
And Samantha's, sorry, Miranda's so closed that it's the perfect combination, but then also
we know what happens.
And you can also kind of understand what happens, right?
Because he's just like this kind of puppy.
Big, huge heart, sweet guy.
And she's like, no.
No.
But again, that what I love is that that relationship brought out so much in both of them.
Yeah.
You know, he, she helped him grow up.
Yes.
And he helped her relax.
Because he is like a child.
I mean, he's like a child.
When he's like, come to the playground.
Come to the playground.
But here's the deal.
Like, how do we define child?
Good point.
Good point.
Good point.
But like I felt like she was the mommy in that conversation, right?
Where she's like, well, you're probably not going to win.
but but but but but but and by the way like that's I love that you need to have everybody's perspective
yeah and also both sides need to be right and so she's probably right but so is he totally totally
I mean I mean and that's the point I think really well well done where she goes and they have that
famous scene um in front of magnolia bakery with the cupcakes right and she's like you know I just
it seems really stupid I can't do it yeah and of course Carrie's like well isn't that what couples are
supposed to do exactly
other silly like dreams. True, right? True. And will at least be supportive. Yeah. You know.
Support the other person and what they want. Exactly. But what it is is it forces her to grow.
Yes. Because I love that yes, she's at the, she's at her, you know, her desk and she's working. And it goes back to what I was saying when you're in a relationship with someone. If she wasn't with him, she would not have gone outside and gotten some fresh air.
No, for sure. She would just been in the apartment. No, of course. You know. And she also wouldn't think about what are, what are his dreams?
But also, what's possible?
Right.
It's okay to believe in something that seems like it would never happen.
Right.
Totally.
Yeah.
So I just think like that to me is so beautiful and special.
And I think it sends a really nice message out to people.
Me too.
I was really happy.
I didn't remember any of that storyline.
I think because I'm not, we're not, we're now all a bit siloed, you know, in terms of our storylines.
And I just remember, I remember them having so much stuff and thinking it was good at the time because it was such a deep arc.
I'm always all for that
And we really made use of that on the show
In such a beautiful way, the writers
And I love that as a viewer
You know as well
Like really getting time to see
Oh yeah
That's what we love Steve and
Yeah, so obviously Aiden being introduced
And later we'll see how Aiden and Steve
Come together and those guys
Because they're very much
You know, kind of cut from the same cloth
They open the bar together and all that stuff
Oh my God, yes I forget all these things
It's really fun to rewatch
Because I have never rewatch
You understand most of us
We like just go back
and, like, have it on.
It's like the office.
It's like anything else.
We are, it's this encyclopedia.
It's a library.
And the fact that there's like three chapters of it.
It's the show the movies, the movie era, which was like huge.
I know.
Okay.
I remember the midnight showing at, you know, the Grove.
Oh, wow.
I went to the Grove for the midnight screen at the first Central City movie.
It's so crazy to me.
Not knowing what to expect.
Exactly.
But not knowing what to expect, I think, in terms of society.
Yeah.
Like saying...
Would people go?
Would people not?
Would people freak out?
No, that's the industry.
This is what the industry was saying.
We were not supposed to do well.
I know, because they can't ever learn that lesson that women want to go to the movies.
And gay men.
And gay men, absolutely.
It was a really...
I'll never forget that experience.
Going to see that movie and seeing, seeing the cultural impact.
Amazing.
Because you're like,
Yeah, who is going to, you know.
And I wouldn't have minded if it wasn't like, it's like, you know, you're a sex and city fanatics.
It's like whatever.
But it was almost as if everybody that was at home, like you are silo.
You're home watching it yourself.
Right.
You talk about it with your friends.
Right.
And I think when the movies happened, it was like a freaking Star Wars convention.
It was like, we all were like, oh, oh, oh, we're all in the same place.
Yeah.
Watching the same thing.
Yeah.
And it was really cool.
It's cool to be around your people.
And it felt like, you know, absolutely.
That's what going to the movies, why we can never lose it.
No, you can't because it's too, it's too special.
It's too important.
It's too magical.
It's a communal experience in the dark.
Yeah.
And y'all gave us, you know, some big movie.
I know the word is like, you know, a pun.
But like, just some really big movie moments.
I mean, talk about set pieces and like, because you do wonder, like, what are we going to do?
Like, what's it going to be?
Totally.
And it's like, Michael Patrick Kate was like, uh, you'll see.
don't worry and then but obviously then the third chapter and final is uh you know and just
like that which is to have those three eras is it's pretty it is pretty iconic i agree it is
it's beyond it's beyond anything that i can even really sometimes get my own mind around it and
i have lived through it but i also don't feel like it's done oh i don't i don't look at you i don't
look at my gut i don't do you what i mean michael's on his own page i don't know sarah's on her own
page. Of course. But I don't feel, I did feel complete after, you know. And just like that or
No, after the second movie. We thought we were going to do the third movie. And then it kind of
turned into and just like that, I think, ultimately. Over time. It took time. But during that
time, I'd see Michael and I'd see the girls obviously. And we discussed like, what should we do?
Should we do something? You know, it was all. I know. It's always. So we should get the band back
together? Exactly. And there was always that chance, which was exciting and nice. But also we still had
each other in our lives, which is also amazing.
Oh, that's beautiful, yeah.
It's the best part.
But then, and now that's true now, and so then we did it just like that, and I really thought
we'd keep going, because that's me, right?
It's just me.
You're like, always eternal optimist, so just keep going forever.
I am.
I was like, well, why wouldn't we?
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a, look, I mean, we're going to, we're season eight for
the shy, we're going to, you know, it's our final season, but I think it really was, I
definitely was thinking about those final.
interviews that you guys did for sex in the city the first time around after the six.
Yes.
And I just remember, you know, Sergson Parker saying, like, you want to leave while the party's
cresting.
You want to keep it fresh.
I was like, what are you saying?
What are you saying?
What are you saying?
What are you saying that?
I was like, what are you talking about?
We don't want to leave?
No, but here's a deal.
Here's a deal.
It was hard.
It was tough because you think like, oh, damn, six seasons.
Come on.
But it felt right.
It felt, it did.
It felt, it felt, because.
Otherwise, you don't want to go out with a wimper.
No, that's true.
And you definitely don't.
And you want people to gather and people, people gather.
For me, I think at the time that the show, you know, Sarah had her baby and Cynthia had
her baby.
So for me, I was living life with them watching that.
And that is a huge thing in life.
Then I also really did believe at the time that we ended the first show that we would
make a movie.
And that was super exciting, right?
How much time was that, though, between it.
It was more time than it was supposed to be because they had a hold on us in our contracts.
Oh.
Yes, which was part of the negotiation for the final season.
You know how they like to put everything in together?
They're like, well, you would like more money.
We would like this, X, Y, and Z.
Oh, well, yeah.
Yeah, I know what those conversations.
And I was like, yes, yes, I will give you X, Y, and Z.
I will put me on hold to make a movie, please.
Oh, you're like, sure, fine.
I'm like, that is no problem.
That's interesting.
So you guys had that, that was.
But then it expired.
Oh, okay.
I had Chris Albrecht on, and we talked about it a little bit.
Okay.
And because he was in charge of HBO at the time.
Wow.
And he had the foresight to think of a film.
Wow.
That's interesting.
But then, and so he commissioned the script from Michael Patrick,
and Michael Patrick was writing the script, which we knew about, right?
And so we had a hold in our contract.
It was, I want to say, a year or a year and a half, not that long,
for us to start production, right?
And I remember Michael calling and telling me the ideas, not seeing a script, but hearing the ideas.
Sure.
I was, yes, Michael, anything you want me to do.
I'm here.
I will do.
I was very, very excited, and I thought this would just be amazing.
Even if it was just a small, culty kind of a movie, you know what I'm trying to say, right?
Like, we didn't know, you know, we didn't know, right?
But the problem was HBO didn't know who was going to finance and or distribute it, right?
Because we were all in Time Warner, but HBO, we don't release movies into theater.
It ended up being a new line, which is under Warner Brothers, right?
Oh, okay, okay.
But that was eventually, so the first time around, when Chris had commissioned the script from Michael Patrick, the hold expired.
Got it.
And I was devastated.
Because you wanted to do the movie.
God, yes.
Okay.
But then, you know, Michael Patrick's not going to give up once he's got a creative idea.
I know.
Right.
So he had a creative idea and he was like, we're going to figure it out.
But it was hard because it had never been done, right?
Where you've got an IP that has been over here.
Exactly.
And you're wanting to put it over here.
So it took Toby Emmerich saying, stepping up to the plate when he did.
And what Chris said was the turning point was Devil Wears Prada 1 did so well.
That was one of our directors, David Frankel.
Wow.
Exactly.
And Chris was like, that's our movie.
Why didn't we make our movie?
We're so stupid.
Devil Wors Prada came out before.
Isn't that bizarre?
It's not how I remember it.
But that's what Chris told me and I looked it up and I think it's accurate.
Oh, well, yeah, I believe that.
Wow.
Interesting, right?
So he was like, why didn't we go ahead?
should go ahead. See, I think, I think, well, I think everything happens exactly the way it's
supposed to, but I think that amount of time, and again, I can't put my finger on how much time
it was from when the last episode aired. It was between 2004 to 2008, four years. That, to me,
is such a beautiful amount of time. Yeah, that's not too long, not too short. Yeah. It's like
it really kind of gave people time to kind of miss you guys. So true. And, you know, and obviously,
and it made sense in terms of where you guys left off that, oh,
yeah they would be maybe thinking about getting married at this point and this is where
Samantha would be and this is where Miranda would be it just all and also it was cool just to kind
get a sense of where are they now where is everybody right the quick like catch up and checking in
and all these things and then it's like you know for the the fandom that is the show everybody
sitting in that theater is like oh okay oh oh oh you just because you have all these ideas
of what happened to them once you left them yes yeah that that first movie was like just like
huge and then of course of course because it did so
well, you're going to have a sequel.
Sure, well, you're supposed to have three.
That was the plan.
The fact that you guys were trying to do three movies is insane to me.
I know it is insane.
But this is how we roll, Lena.
We're crazy.
Do you know what?
I would have hung up after the first one.
After the first movie, I'd be like, that is a wonderful blessing.
Nobody wants you to hang up when you do well the first time.
But guess what?
I'm not saying it's right.
I'll say it here.
Yeah.
I love that there was never a sequel to Bridesmaids.
Oh, that's a good point.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
And I know that Kristen Wigg and her amazing writing partner probably were offered something.
Yeah.
And I'm sure there's a story behind it.
I'm sure there is.
But I, and I think that movie made it on the top 100 movies of the, well, some century, the New York Times did, whatever, which was cool.
And I said to myself, and I think the reason why is because they let that movie stand.
They were like, we're not going back.
Smart.
It did what needed to do.
Smart.
That's it.
And I'll say, I mean, look, I'm happy that there was another movie we all were, but
that first Sex and a City movie.
No, I know.
It can stand on its own.
It's true.
Even if you've never seen the show.
Yeah, it's beautiful writing.
You can watch that movie and just say, wow.
I agree.
That is.
I agree.
And you guys give us a feast.
I know, I agree.
I agree. Michael Patrick did a great job with the first one.
And the second one, too, in a different way.
But, like, I understand what you're saying.
But it's really hard
I get it
No no no y'all
It was nuts
It was like it was everywhere
It was crazy
So I get it
It was crazy and it's crazy
Because we were such a
I say this people don't believe me
But we were like the little train
That could
You know
Is that the word?
Yeah
A little engine that could
The little engine that could
Thank you so much
You're a good writer
You know we weren't supposed
To ever be successful
You know
But we just had like
We were so
committed
like we are going to tell
these stories. But my question is why
did people think it wouldn't, well why did you think that
you weren't supposed to be successful? Because there was nothing like it
there was no show. Which to me is a reason
to be successful. 100%.
Absolutely. But there was no, like you know how
there's no president. Yes, there's no precedent
and you know how they like to say like the four quadrant
the blah blah blah. Well the question becomes
did waiting to exhale come out before
the show? Because that came up with myself
on Loretta Divine on Legacy Talk.
Good point. Because I know girlfriends was like right after
you guys. And so there were
these black women quads
that sort of
I think waiting for Exale might have been before. Someone
should look it up. Yeah, waiting to exhale, what year
did that come out? I feel like a 95, right
before us? Right. Yeah. And that was a huge hit. Good point, good point, good point.
You know, look, I got to give credit to Loretta Devine.
Yes. The great Loretta Devine.
100%. She was like, she says it.
She says it, I literally have to talk. She's like,
what's the one with the white girls running around New York City? I said,
Sex of the City.
That's so cute. That one?
She was like, yeah, that came after Way to Exhael Success.
That's true. That's a good point.
And I remember that was a big, like, everyone was like, whoa.
Huge.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
And so I think, I think that, again, it goes back to a patriarchal society.
Yes.
Where that women, we are, there's no argument about it, are seeing as second-class citizens in our own nation, our world, all over the world.
Yes.
And so the idea for women talking about their sexuality, being.
friends, dating, having real autonomy.
Right.
Feels like, well, is that going to be?
Mary Talamore Show.
They literally had to save it.
Right.
They were putting it on Saturdays and going like,
nobody's going to stay home.
Right.
And again, a lot of it is there's so much doubt
when it comes to us.
So much.
And so we, it's so interesting because when you say the luncheon
that, come like, what? Why would anyone think that
makes so much sense?
And, you know, and look, again, because we live
in a white-leaning world, yes, it's, it's
white women that get that that push you know um but i am grateful for some movies like set it off
and girls trip like the the quads continue the quads continue thank god yeah thank god yeah on 20s we did a
trio you know which was fantastic you know it's like that was so thank you so much i mean any version
you know what i'm trying to say ladies talking there's always you know a vibe absolutely a vibe
and talking freely talking freely about their emotions about who they're dating all that kind of stuff
And so, yeah, I think Sex and City made it very popular.
But I totally get like there was some sort of backlash because it's showing women having a voice, not necessarily needing a man to approve them, but rather than building their own bond and finding their own self-love.
So, of course, there's going to be a threat to society that sees women as people that need to be dependent on men.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, all right, everyone.
Thanks for joining Lena Waitth and I.
We are going to continue.
So please join us later in the week for Part 2 with Lena Waith.
What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream and one of the most iconics it comes of all time.
You get Desi Arness on the podcast starring Desi Arness and Wilmer Valderrama.
I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life, how he redefined American television and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like hours on screen.
Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valdarama
on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
What up, y'all?
It's your boy, Kevin on stage.
I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment,
where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends,
people I admire who have had massive success about their massive failures.
What did they mess up on?
What is their heartbreak?
And what did they learn from it?
I got judged horribly.
The judges were like, you're trash.
I don't know how you got on the show.
Check out Not My Best Moment with me,
Kev on stage on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.
On this week's episode of the next chapter,
I, D.D. Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey,
a media mogul philanthropist,
and global trailblazer.
I could feel inside myself at four or five years old
looking through the screen on the back porch
that this is not.
going to be my life.
Listen to the next chapter on the iHeart Radio at Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your
podcast episodes drop weekly.
She said Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night.
Along the central Texas plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense,
strange accidents, and brutal murders.
In what seems to be, a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.
drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.
There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.
Listen to paper ghosts, the Texas teen murders,
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On the podcast health stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
I'm Dr. Priyankawali, a double board certified physician.
And I'm Hurricane Dibolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled,
Do I Have Scurvy at 3 a.m?
And on our show, we're talking about.
talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes.
In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic.
How preventable is type 2?
Extremely.
Listen to health stuff on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is an IHeart podcast.
