Are You A Charlotte? - We have a Big problem…(Oliver Hudson weighs in: S1 E7 “The Monogamists”)

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

We’re in BIG trouble…. Kristin is getting a man’s point of view as Oliver Hudson shares his controversial take on this episode.   We can’t put our “head” in t...he sand about one storyline  because it does happen and Kristin and Oliver are ready to talk about it.  This one may blow your mind!   Plus, what gave Kristin the “ick” and what  made her say “ew”!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Last Cultureistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang just won podcast of the year at this year's iHeart podcast awards. Oh wow! You're kidding! Stop it! Lady Gaga will take home the innovator award at Monday's iHeart radio music awards. Now these iHeart award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Last Cultureistas. Thank you so much for having me here but please please please don't make me get angry about anything in public. Just open the Free Eye Heart Radio app, search Las Culturistas, and listen now. My husband cheated on me with two women.
Starting point is 00:00:32 He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay? Okay Sam, that has to be the craziest story in OK Storytime Podcast history. Well John, that's because it's dump of week, and this user writes, Last week we had an attempted break-in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's to come over and change the locks but his mom told me he wasn't with her and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Did you leave him? Well to find out how this story ends follow the OK Storytime podcast on
Starting point is 00:00:57 the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped me. Season two, share stories about community and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it. We get paid to serve you, but we're made on the same things. It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called The Edge of Daybreak
Starting point is 00:01:34 recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business. They had a day break, eyes of love, but supposedly been following up on another app. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Hey sis, it's Dr. Joy from Therapy for Black Girls. We've had 400 episodes of conversations, growth, and healing. So we're celebrating. Join us for a special episode with internationally recognized yogi, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, as she shares wisdom on mindfulness, movement, and motherhood. I waited later to have children and I still have exactly what I knew that I wanted. You don't want to miss this special episode. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls
Starting point is 00:02:27 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know, are you a Charlotte? Is this very exciting, because I have the Oliver Hudson here with me. The is important to put in front of my name. Thank you for coming.
Starting point is 00:02:48 It's so exciting. So exciting. Happy to be here. We're going to, we rewatched 107, which is called The Monogamous. And I'm so happy that you're here because you are a straight guy who's been married a long time and you can shed some light. Okay. I can.
Starting point is 00:03:02 We need some help understanding. 18 years. Impressive. Yeah, together 23 or 24. Unbelievable. So I cannot wait to hear. But I also wanna just say in case our viewers might not necessarily know, viewers, listeners,
Starting point is 00:03:16 whichever we call them, yes. You were on and Just Like That. I was. And so part of the reason that I love Oliver and want him to be here is because he played a very, very cool character on it, just like that. I was not there, which I'm kind of glad and kind of not. I know, I know.
Starting point is 00:03:31 You know, torn. It was my first experience with an intimacy coordinator. No way! Yeah. And what did you think? I loved it. Honestly, I really did. I really like our intimacy coordinator.
Starting point is 00:03:39 It made things really easy and really great. And I was game for anything. I just said, hey, you just tell me what to do. Because I'm the guest star here. Whatever you're comfortable with, I'm comfortable with. But it was great. I'd never done that before. I've had a lot of sex scenes in my life
Starting point is 00:03:58 where it's just kind of just, all right, just go. Wacky, right? How it used to be. It's all worked out. But to have it mapped out and planned out just makes it better. Well because there were three of you, there were three of us. It kind of needed to be. Oh yeah. And it's funny because the next episode is about threesomes in the original series, Sex and the City, the original season. Yeah, so what a weird you know coincidence and it's still being you know played out., played out through some very interesting thing. But ours is not about that.
Starting point is 00:04:26 But anyway, intimacy coordinators, I've had good and bad since this new dawning of the intimacy coordinator. You've had bad. I have had bad. Ooh. I mean, it was one of my first times with one. And I think that's part of it is like you just, for us who've been around a long time, we, it was just, they'd say,
Starting point is 00:04:45 which little tiny thing would you like to wear? And then, you know, get in bed, and, you know, let's get rid of the extra crew, and that was about it. You know, and hopefully you were in tune with your co-star, that's what it was about, and the director, but mostly your co-star, like, an agreement, and like you felt comfortable, and kind of like,
Starting point is 00:05:03 I think, caring about the other one for both sides, men and women, right? So it was about that. But I did this indie and it was a very, very chaotic set. I'm not gonna say what it was. I mean, a set where you couldn't trust anything going right or properly professionally or whatever. And this woman who was the intimacy coordinator
Starting point is 00:05:21 had been a dancer. So she would be like, I was working with another actor who I love very much. She was also a vet and totally trustworthy, like so protective and amazing. And she would say, okay, so you're gonna kiss three, four, and then you're gonna, we were like, what? She was like, what?
Starting point is 00:05:40 And then- She took all the spontaneity out of it as like a man. Yeah, and listen, I wanted to kiss this person. No offense to anyone who might be listening, but I mean, I was like, you can go. Right, like I have this. Totally, totally. But the thing that was great, and he also was super,
Starting point is 00:05:56 you know, professional and whatnot, and it all worked out. But the thing that we have learned with, and just like that, because we have a lovely intimacy coordinator, it's more about like, she'll say, what are you worried about? What are you nervous about? And I'll watch the monitors and make sure that's not happening.
Starting point is 00:06:12 So it's like another set of eyes for you. Yeah, it was great. I mean, she was, okay, how do you feel about putting your hand here and doing this? And, you know, I made a move and Sada was like not cool with it. Totally sweet, but it was sort of triggered them
Starting point is 00:06:31 and I was like, oh, this is okay, whatever. And that's when I became completely submissive like a dog. I was on my back with my feet and hands up. I was sure everyone was thrilled. I'll do whatever you, just tell me what to do. I think that was tell me what to do. I think that was the right way to go. I think that was the right way to go. Also, Michael Patrick has a lot of ideas. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And you know, you got to roll with whatever it is. Do you know what I mean? I've learned my lessons over the years. Do not object. And just find a way that you're going to be comfortable. So anyway, it can be great. But back in this day, we didn't have such things. No, we did not.
Starting point is 00:07:02 No, we did not. And the thing that I really love, I mean, there's so many amazing things. No, we did not. No, we did not. And the thing that I really love, I mean, there's so many amazing things. And as we were saying earlier, I need to know, did you watch this back in the day? Like, what's your history with the show? So my history with the show is that everyone talked about it. It was the show to watch.
Starting point is 00:07:18 At the time, it was a show for women, honestly. And my friend Alex actually was obsessed with the show. it was a show for women, honestly. And my friend Alex actually was obsessed with the show. And we were like, what? This is not your demographic. I don't understand. Right. But this was- He was ahead of his time.
Starting point is 00:07:37 He was. And so I never really got into watching the show. Later on, I watched a couple, but it was not something that I got into. Now, at the time, I was not as much into TV as I am now. Okay. It was a different time. It was a different time.
Starting point is 00:07:52 It was waiting every week to watch a television show. Yes, you had to wait every week. You had to be there when it was happening. Yeah. Yeah, nine o'clock, Sunday night. I will say, in watching this episode last night, first of all, so far ahead of its time, as far as how it was written, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:12 how comfortable everyone was in saying those things and how it's just a pure reflection that we haven't ever seen before with four women who are being intimate with each other and saying the things that they wanna say. We had never really seen anything like that. I know, it's funny to think about because it's now, I feel like,
Starting point is 00:08:31 and that's one of the things that I love about talking about it now is to see what's changed and what hasn't. Because some things have changed, some things have not changed. And one thing that I do think has changed is that people talk much more freely about sex and relationships.
Starting point is 00:08:46 And I think partly because of social media, we have ways to talk about it. And also like people go on red carpets, like pretty much naked now. And this was not the case back then. No, not at all. Not at all. So it was that, and it was so good.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Thank you. It's so good. I was with my wife watching it last night and I was like, I think I might start this now. This many years ahead of time. You know, it was just, it's so, it's good. The chemistry's so on point. And it's only seven episodes in,
Starting point is 00:09:14 so it can only get better and better and better. I know, for sure it gets better, because in my mind, as I was telling you, I always thought that the first season was just like kind of a wash. Like, I just thought it was a mess. We didn't know what we were doing. We were all over the place. I remember Darren saying to us at different times like,
Starting point is 00:09:29 you guys have to be really funny. Like, really funny. He would like get his hands all agitated. And we'd be like, uh, but are you, is there more jokes? Or you just want us to make what's there funny? Like, what do you mean? And then sometimes he'd come down from upstairs. We were shooting in Silver Cup in New York at the time.
Starting point is 00:09:45 He'd come down and he'd be like, everyone has to be a sexier. You have to be a sexier. And I'd be like, me? Me? Are you sure? Because I don't... Now, it gets... Well, I mean, Charlotte does some stuff that literally I had not remembered.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Like, I'm like, what, what, what, what, what? Because they were trying to figure her out, right? And so, like, on the one hand, she's saying, I want to get figure her out, right? And so like on the one hand, she's saying, I want to get married, I want to get married. But on the other hand, she's doing a lot of, she pretty game, like more so than I remember, you know? Yeah. It's interesting. Did you guys, was it immediate, your chemistry?
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah, we never even read together. We didn't have a chemistry read or anything. But you guys got together, it was like bang. Yeah, it was pretty much bang. And it was also, I think it was a couple of things. Number one, everyone was so excited. Like it was such an odd and unusual thing at the time. Like I remember when I had gotten,
Starting point is 00:10:35 cause I knew Darren from Melrose Place and he had sent me the script. And I've said this many times, sorry for anyone I'm repeating it. He'd sent me the script when Sarah Jessica had been unsure for Carrie. And I was like, I can't pull Carrie off because Carrie was much more like Candice Bushnell, the original columnist, right?
Starting point is 00:10:51 A little bolder, smoked, swore a lot, very like, more like Samantha in a certain way. And I very clearly was like, no, no, no, I need to be that other one, Charlotte one that doesn't do a lot. I need to be her because she's more, I relate to her. Because I grew up in the South, so I think that really informed Charlotte,
Starting point is 00:11:09 even though she's not technically Southern. But it was so crazy to think of four women without lead men. Like, Big was present, but it wasn't clear that he was going to be this really, really huge through line for her. It was just maybe gonna be a season or, you know, who knows, right? Like they had to kind of make that up
Starting point is 00:11:31 once they leapt off in the way that we did. So it was really just the four of us and Sarah Jessica, and there was nothing like it at all. And the idea that four women could lead a show that wasn't a soap opera. Like, yes, it was about relationships and sex, but it was also funny and it was also shocking and brave in a way, brash and brave, you know, back then.
Starting point is 00:11:54 That part was so thrilling that I think all of us were just like, you know, we didn't even know each other at all. So when I talked to each, everyone, you know, they tell me stuff that I didn't know about their beginning on the show, which is so interesting. No, I know, well, everyone, you know, they tell me stuff that I didn't know about their beginning on the show, which is so interesting. No, I know, well, even watching it,
Starting point is 00:12:07 just talking about the time that it was made, when the guy that you were with is trying to push you down to like give him a blow job. Ew, right? I mean, in 1996 or seven, you know, it was funny and it was sort of strangely relatable, I guess. Was it? Well, not to me.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Please help us, Oliver, understand. I was a young man, but I'm saying, you can't do that now. Right? It's it, right? In the context and the tone that it was done then. Right. It would be like, whoa, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:12:37 See, this is what I need you for. You did find your power and you're like, I'm gone. Definitely, right? But it happens a lot. The minute he did it in the first scene, I'm like, oh, well, she's gone. Right? I'm like, what is she still. But it happens a lot. The minute he did it in the first scene, I'm like, oh, well, she's gone. Right? What is she still doing?
Starting point is 00:12:48 I know, right? I'm like, oh my god, I don't even remember that. And then it's like, I love you, I love her. There was like a, you know. Right, but I also remember, and of course this is, I'm gonna regret this, but I mean, it's not the first time that it had happened to me. No, of course.
Starting point is 00:13:01 You know what I'm saying? No, no, no, no, 100%. But it's also crazy to think about. The beauty of it is that you're touching upon the relatability of what women deal with on a daily basis. You know what I mean? That's the relatable part. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:17 And even for guys, it's shameful relatability potentially. I mean, but also let me just say from a perspective of understanding the societal pressures and whatever, I don't think anyone was telling you guys that that was not cool. No, of course not. So I don't blame everybody. You kind of have to, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I mean, what do you think? Honestly, and I've had my share of women, I have never in my life even come close to doing anything like that, because it's not my nature. There's a respect there, I guess. Or it's like, it's almost leaves me speechless. It's beyond the way I can even think.
Starting point is 00:13:54 To be like, yeah, I gotta push it. Well, because wouldn't you just want someone to be doing that? Do you know what I mean? Of course. It's not exciting to make someone do it. I mean, that's like new, that's my sex life even right now with my wife.
Starting point is 00:14:02 You know, by the way, 25 years together, sex is still like unbelievably incredible. Wow. It goes from like 18 times a day when you're young, but it gets deeper and deeper and deeper as you get older. And once I think, especially for the man, and I've done a lot of work on myself, I've been to the Hoffman Institute to deal with my own.
Starting point is 00:14:26 I mean, I've done some stuff. Vulnerability for men just generally is difficult. Vulnerability with your significant other is even more difficult to be able to sort of, even say the nice things. And for me, it was hard to even look at Erin and say, I just want to tell you right now unsolicited that I love you. And like, I'm so just lucky
Starting point is 00:14:47 that you're in my life. It was to say something like that makes me want to like hide. That's the feeling of like, oh my God, it's cringe worthy for me because it's so vulnerable. Right? I did a lot of work on myself with that. I was able to be more open and it changed the game
Starting point is 00:15:05 for our sex life. Changed the game. Amazing, amazing, good to. What happens is for men, a little note to men, is when we are open and vulnerable like that, there's a safety that comes from her, from Erin, let's just say now. Which allows her to be more open and connected with sex, even though it's been a million years.
Starting point is 00:15:27 For sure, that's amazing. So new doors are open, not just from like a dirty standpoint, which is always fun, but just from a... Intimacy. ...an intimate, connected place where we would have sex and be like, oh my God, like what is happening? That's amazing, that's the best kind. Oh, it really is. Yeah.'s amazing, that's the best kind.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Oh, it really is. Yeah. It really, really, really is. Oh yeah, oh yeah. So I went off on a bit of a tangent. I know, but it's so good because like one of the things I wanna ask you about is a male perspective of Big here because in this episode, which is super interesting
Starting point is 00:16:00 to look back on because Charlotte was always pro Big, but I'm looking back on this early season and being like, ew, ew. Because Carrie is very connected and very open. We start at the beginning of the episode and she's saying like, you know, we're in the middle of New York, seven million people and it's that great shot where, you know, real New Yorkers are walking in front of the camera.
Starting point is 00:16:18 It's so cool. And it looks so 70s now to our eyes now in 2025, right? The clothes. Right, all of the cars, everything. So they're like so united within this crowd and she's obviously over the moon into it. And we assume he is too. And they're spending all their time together
Starting point is 00:16:38 to the point where she hasn't seen the girlfriends at all. And we think she's fallen off the cliff or whatever. And then cut to, he says he has a work dinner. And yes, and we go out to dinner with her because she's, oh yeah, Big has a work dinner tonight, a work thing tonight. Let's go out to dinner. We go out to dinner and we see him in the corner
Starting point is 00:16:57 having dinner with another woman. Which I'm just like, he should have been out then. Like, oh, what the heck? Like just because to me, I would feel that they were not in sync. That if I was in that relationship and I thought we were over the moon, not even talking to our friends level of connected,
Starting point is 00:17:14 and then he's gone out with another woman, what the heck? Boo, out the door. I guess. What do you think? Well, so here's the show specifically. Yes. He said he had a work dinner.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Right, a work thing I think he said. A work thing. Or dinner, yeah. Now, there's a lie, a white lie there. Boo. Okay. Take that away just for a second. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Later on in the episode, not later on, but I love the way that that scene was handled. And it's funny you're asking me about this because I took note of it, where he wasn't caught. He didn't play it like he was caught. That's true. Which is the- That was interesting.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Traff is an actor, by the way. Yeah. But he didn't play it like he was caught. That's a good point. No, he didn't. He's like, oh, hey, maybe a little uncomfortable, but hey, this is Bonnie or whatever her name is. Ew.
Starting point is 00:18:00 But, and I just had this conversation with a friend in real life. Was there an established? There was not. Situation, and there wasn't. No, there was not. And he said it where it's like, are we boyfriend, girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:18:13 Right. Are we committed? Right, there's not. And so you can't just assume that one is committed and the other isn't. Even if you're getting the committed vibes, you still have to have the conversation.
Starting point is 00:18:26 For sure. But let's just talk emotionally. Yes, I agree with you. But emotionally, it would really hurt me to think that we were not on the same level. Like when she goes, oh, I didn't realize I was in these feelings by myself. Like that's an upsetting feeling. Sure. But then you have to take into account the reasons why he might not be.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Why? Why might he not be? Well, there could be a psychological thing. There could be something like he's been burned before, he's been hurt before, his parents have divorced. I don't care. He's a non-committal person. He's feeling love, but he's feeling love but he's deflecting with other women.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Okay, okay, okay. But let's say that those, okay, he's a grownup, right? He's not 25, he's not 30, he's a grownup, okay, okay, but let's say that those okay, he's a grown-up right? He's not 25. He's not 30 He's a grown-up. Okay, so she is Obviously open to this in a way that he seems like he might not be It's unclear. It's unclear right like when I'm watching it back I'm thinking myself big is sending her so many mixed messages, like kind of from the get-go, you know? And she just hangs in and, you know,
Starting point is 00:19:31 tries to figure it out and she goes out with Miranda and she's overthinking it. But like, I completely relate to that. She's like, maybe, you know, when he said, I miss you, babe, because then he calls her from his silly car phone, which is so adorable. And he says, like, I missed you, babe. This is right after she's seen him on the date with the other woman.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Like, that's very mixed messages and confusing. Is it manipulative? Yeah, but maybe he, do you think he really missed her? Yes, I do. But then I'm like, why'd you go on that date? And why didn't you tell her? But this is my question that I didn't get to. Because we weren't committed.
Starting point is 00:20:01 I know, but, ooh. We never had the conversation. Like, how do I know what, I don't know what you're doing, you know? Maybe I have a fear that, you know, you're doing other things too. So I'm gonna do these things. Okay, okay, but let me ask you this about the fear.
Starting point is 00:20:14 There's a psychology about it. But let me ask you about the psychology of it, okay? Because we don't know what Mr. Griggs passed. I get it, I get it. And listen, I am like number one, unknowingly understanding of people's psychology, but at a certain point, you cannot do their work for them. And so you need to know, are they going to do any work
Starting point is 00:20:34 on this or are they not? Sure. And is this just the way it's gonna be? Well, yes, once you get deeper into a relationship, yeah, but in the beginning stages, what we're watching, it's still a feel out process. Meaning, yes, they're together and they're feeling things, but it's stated in the show,
Starting point is 00:20:55 we never had that conversation. That's true, but if you spent like eight days, I believe she said she hadn't seen us in eight days, the friends. If you spent eight days holed up with a woman in your single past, would you not kind of feel like that was important? Oh God, that just depends so much on the experience
Starting point is 00:21:15 with those eight days are. What if it was amazing? Because clearly for her, she feels it's amazing. I would definitely, when you're going down the path and you're starting to feel things and you're having some jealousies or you're like, where are we? I would never assume that that other person
Starting point is 00:21:34 is right on the same page, even if they're showing it. Because we don't know why they're showing, I would rather have the conversation of, hey, I'm feeling you, I don't wanna be with anyone else, I'm not putting any pressure on you, but I'm in this position now where I don't wanna be with you if you are seeing other people. So we need to have this conversation.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Right, but I don't feel like men hardly ever bring that conversation up. No. No, I mean, I guess not, right? Right. No, they just wait for us. It's like a lot of pressure. Of course.
Starting point is 00:22:10 It's stressful. I wait, I wait too, you know, I mean, I've had three women in my life who I've loved. My high school sweetheart, who I still have so much love for, my girlfriend, Vanessa, for three years, and then my wife. And I've never dated anyone else. Wow. Meaning like two weeks, two months, six months, never.
Starting point is 00:22:29 It was either let's have a good time or I'm feeling something. Got it. And it was hard for me to feel something because I was very particular. Okay. But on all... I'm so glad it worked out.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Oh it did. But all three, all three women. Amazing, amazing. I never said I love you first. I made them say it because I was too scared. Man all three, all three women. Amazing, amazing. I never said I love you first, I made them say it because I was too scared. Man folk. I was too scared.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I didn't want to get rejected. I was too worried. Let me ask you this. I would say stuff like this, like, you know you love me, right? And I was like, what do you mean? I'm like, you love me. And they're like, I love you.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And I'm like, oh, good, I love you too. So wait, not only would you not say it first, you would make them say it first. Prompt it, kind of, yeah. Wow. Well, good for them, okay? Good for them. I was too scared.
Starting point is 00:23:09 But that's kind of adorable. I used adorable as a way to sort of, yeah. To get what you wanted or needed. Yeah, or needed, right. But okay, so that. Because I wanted to say it, but I didn't want to say it and be like, oh, that's so cute, thank you, and then I'm gone. ["Lost Cultureistas"]
Starting point is 00:23:29 Last Cultureistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, just one podcast of the year at this year's iHeart Podcast Awards. Oh, wow! You're kidding, you're kidding. Stop it. Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator Award at Monday's iHeart Radio Music Awards.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Now, these iHeart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Lost Cultureistas. Thank you so much for having me here, Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney, and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper and Agatha All Along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun. I like a man. You like a man. What do I like, Joe? You like a man too. We often-
Starting point is 00:24:20 We have quite a similar- There's some cross-pollination happening in here. Not like- No! Have we? No. here. Not like no, no No, not yet. Never say never I Cannot wait for all you girls gays and they's to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast There is so much darkness in this world and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy Listen to the Dylan hour on the iHeart radio app app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya.
Starting point is 00:24:46 My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay? Okay Sam, that has to be the craziest story in OK Storytime podcast history. Well John, that's because it's dumpin' week and this user writes, my partner told me when we first got together
Starting point is 00:24:58 that he has cancer. He's currently living with his mom while he's in recovery so that it takes the pressure off me caring for both him and her baby until he's well enough to move into our new home with us. Is it good so far? Well, last week we had attempted break-in. I asked my husband who was supposed to be at his mom's
Starting point is 00:25:12 to come over and change locks, but he wouldn't. Then his mom told me he wasn't with her. I went to Facebook and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Oh, what else is he lying about? Well, one thing my paranoia just wouldn't let up was about the cancer and his treatments. I asked his mom about it, who told me he doesn't have cancer.
Starting point is 00:25:30 She also informed me he was in rehab, not the hospital. He suffered from addiction and was trying to recover for me and our baby. Did she leave him? Well, to find out how the story ends, listen and follow the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I started to live a double life when I was a teenager, responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head.
Starting point is 00:26:10 But one night, a new door opened and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network,
Starting point is 00:26:38 available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, y'all. I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. My podcast, When You're Invisible, is my love letter to the working-class people and immigrants who shaped my life. I get to talk to a lot of people who form the backbone of our society, but who have never been interviewed before. Season 2 is all about community, organizing, and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it.
Starting point is 00:27:13 I can't have more than $2,000 in my bank account or else I can't get disability benefits. They won't let you succeed. I know we get paid to serve you guys, but like, be respectful. We're made out of the same things. Bone, body, blood. It's rare to have black male teachers.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Sometimes I am the lesson and I'm also the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible as part of the MyCultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ["I'm Not a Big Man"] So let me ask you this about Big, because you're a guy, and maybe you can understand this better than me, because I look back on it,
Starting point is 00:27:56 and again, I think at the time, these thoughts never entered my mind. I was pro-Big, and I just think that's because we were used to this stuff. Do you know what I mean? Like aloof Confusing men were completely normal, you know, right and we just had to figure out how to be with it Right, but we had to adjust, you know, which is what I see Carrie doing
Starting point is 00:28:16 Right, like but she does decide to go out with him again. Oh shit She as we know she will do that for years. Yes, but I also think that if he had a wife, or if he was in a real committed relationship with someone else, you know, then she would never do that. No, no, no, it's confusing. It's not clearly no, right? Because like even the thing that I think is so interesting performance-wise is so,
Starting point is 00:28:42 and obviously we're skipping over many things, but the thing that it's interesting to look at the beginning, then he calls her, then she's spinning around trying to make sense of what he said, then she goes to this party with Justin Theroux, who we will get to in a second, and then she says to him, you know, come meet me here. He's putting his arms around me.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Like she does her own kind of like, I'm gonna play my game back, right? Which I totally understand. And then he does come, but they're at the wrong place. She's in the front or she thinks she's in the front. He thinks he's in the front, which is so beautifully written, right? And then he's like, I was here, what do you want? Which is a lot like the last episode too,
Starting point is 00:29:17 which we didn't make you rewatch, but he waits in front of the bar and she thinks he's not there. Like they have a lot of these kind of missed things, which I think is so real to life. Like it's so close and everyone's trying, but you're so confused. Like, did they try?
Starting point is 00:29:31 Did they not try? Did they try? Did they not try? Am I trying? Am I doing all the work? It's confusing, but beautifully written. So he comes and he's like, I was over here waiting in the dark.
Starting point is 00:29:41 She's like, I'm over here. And then she basically looks at him with those eyes, which I'm just like, how could anyone say no to her, right? And she says, I just want to stand still with you. And then he kind of doesn't answer, but then he puts his arm around her and they look up at the moon. So his actions often are the thing that saved the day,
Starting point is 00:30:01 whereas he doesn't always say what she wants him to say. He's not forthcoming in a communicative way. But his actions kind of say, I want to be here. Yeah, which is very male. Right, right. Do you read into that like he wishes he could say more? Probably. And he's scared or this is different for him or,
Starting point is 00:30:20 I mean, what? Probably different for him. This is how I would analyze that without knowing a lot, honestly. I mean, none of us know a lot. OK. This is how I would analyze that without knowing a lot, honestly. Right. I mean, none of us know a lot. This is the thing when you're watching. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:30 He's like an enigma. He's just a walking enigma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A charming enigma. He's charming and you wonder, is he doing the same thing with other women? Oh, I'm pretty sure that he is. You know. Because they go to that party, which I totally left out, where like this woman comes up and
Starting point is 00:30:42 kisses him and says, where's my passport? Right, right, right. Where's my passport? And then he introduces Carrie to another friend who says, oh, you must be Nicole or whatever it is. And she's like, no, I'm just like, run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of them. Now that you're bringing it back up, there's like a million of them. How many women did you sleep with? Or how many women are you sleeping with now? That's the question. Well, the other thing too is, you know, passport, that means they're flying out of the country.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Exactly. So are these just fun flings? And he goes, this is my friend that I traveled with. And she goes, internationally, I assume. I mean, it's just like irritating. Yeah, but when there's a spark and there's something there, you wanna follow through with it?
Starting point is 00:31:22 Because you are not, he is not committed to you. Officially? Yes, he's dating other women. There's nothing wrong with that from a legal standpoint. There's nothing. I know, it's just emotionally hard, I think. I understand, no, I'm talking from a practical standpoint. A practical standpoint, okay. He is not.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Practical standpoint. Listen, he is not committed. You mean he's not breaking any agreements. He's not. I get it, I get it. It just feels emotionally like scary. Well, that's why it's like, look, I like you. I know that you've got a passport girl, you've got this other girl, you got this.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I wanna continue this, but I can't, if this is kind of the life that you're living and wanna continue to living. If you wanna focus on me and commit to that, then I'm down, otherwise like, and. But she doesn't really say that. And I mean, that is the other interesting part is I look at her, Carrie, and you know,
Starting point is 00:32:21 I mean, I don't know how much this is me reading into it because of course I know Candace and I know the book and the, you know, she had been quite the party girl herself, you know, previously, right? And then I do think it's a bit of a change for her, right? And he had been quite big, is still, I guess, quite the big man about town, right?
Starting point is 00:32:41 And he was based on a real person who was quite the man about town. And then they're kind of, in some ways, doing this what will turn out to be a very long dance towards being monogamous with each other. But it takes a long time. No, yes, it's also the show, right? Sure, you got to play it out, right?
Starting point is 00:32:57 And also, I mean, if it was easy, what would we do? Exactly, moonlighting. Moonlighting was amazing. And then they actually sleep together. And they're like, ah, the air's out of the balloon. Right, right, right. Right, right, right. So the minute you put Big and her together,
Starting point is 00:33:09 you're kind of like, no, I mean, yes, but no. We love that dance. I know, but that's what's, it's so hard to write that dance over time. And the fact that they did is kind of amazing. And when I look back, I mean, yes, on some level, even just how they started, because they would just see each other at bars
Starting point is 00:33:27 and parties and whatever and have that spark, and then, but not really do anything. And I've forgotten all of that. Like they really were so skillful in a way that I didn't realize at the time. But then also, I also look back and I think, oh my God, he's so withholding, even in the beginning. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:46 Yes, of course. But she hangs in there, God love her. But that's what makes it great. And love is irrational, love is weird, like you cannot plan it, you can't do anything. Like you could, you have these feelings that you may not want, but you do. So what do you do with them?
Starting point is 00:34:01 You just throw them away or do you? Well, see, this is the big question now, because I feel like now in social media, everyone's like, control this, don't do this. That person's a narcissist, don't do that. Like there's a lot of efforts at control. Yes. But can you really control these things?
Starting point is 00:34:16 I don't know. Of course not. Okay. It's not possible. Right. Thank you. There's always sacrifice. Makes me feel better.
Starting point is 00:34:23 You're always gonna be living with something. Right. I mean, in order to have a healthy, long-term relationship, you're gonna have to go through some real shit. And it's work. Absolutely. And you have to work on yourself. Of course, it's both. Right, but some men,
Starting point is 00:34:38 they just do not wanna work on themselves. I know, it's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It is hard. No joke. No joke is hard. But it is interesting. It is interesting because I don't think.
Starting point is 00:34:51 I mean, I have friends in relationships that are really good that I admire so much. And then I also have friends who aren't in relationships and who are just confounded. And I'm just like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's just that I have friends. Well, I don't know. I guess it's just, you know, I have friends, you know, well, we're also at the, at an age
Starting point is 00:35:09 where it's not easy. No. You know, it's like, oh, I want love in my life. I don't want to die alone. But here's, but here's who I am now. And I have so much more to, I so much to give, but now I have to match it up with a dude who's like on my left.
Starting point is 00:35:26 It's a small window. It's a small window. I know, not to scare anyone out there, but it does get increasingly challenging to fit someone into the parameters. I think you just have to, you know, hope for it, manifest it in one way or another, and then be grateful for everything else in your life. Absolutely. you know, hope for it, manifest it in one way or another,
Starting point is 00:35:45 and then be grateful for everything else in your life. Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, understand that you cannot force these things. Right. And it's almost like. Well, I think the dating apps gave the illusion that you could force those things. Yes, yes, yes, and some people.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I mean, I have friends that it's worked out for. Yeah, it worked, married, and everything. 100%. You know. Totally, which brings me to Justin Theroux. Yeah. So, Justin Theroux is one of the, I think we only have two actors and this is talking from the beginning of Sex and the City in 1997 to current and just like that times. We've had two actors play two different characters in the show, which is pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:36:22 And Justin's one of them. And this first one is such a shock. Like I only vaguely remembered, I mean, I think Sarah Jessica and Matthew were friends with Justin from New York, Ness, you know? I didn't know him. You know, I don't think I was there when they filmed. And then I do remember when he comes back,
Starting point is 00:36:38 he changes his facial hair and he plays a writer. It's very different. And I think it might've been the last season of Sex and the City. But here he plays a kind of frightening character that we've all probably met, which is like the writer of the moment, the cool dude. And at one point she says something to him like,
Starting point is 00:36:58 oh, he's talking about all the great things that come from having a New York Times bestselling book. And she goes, oh, acting like an asshole and everyone's thinking that you're great. He's like, yeah, I love you. Come home with me. Like, it's so funny. It's so funny and he's so good at playing this, like,
Starting point is 00:37:16 kind of charming and kind of smarmy guy. And then later he plays someone just fully opposite, but also still a writer, I think, which is also interesting. He's great. Justin can do a lot. I was telling you before we got in the air, he was doing a movie, a TV show with my sister.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Yep, called Running Point. I can't wait to watch it. I haven't seen it yet. I did not realize he was on there. It's good. Who does he play?
Starting point is 00:37:40 He plays the older brother, Kate's older brother. Got it. Yeah. Excellent. And he's just so good and he's so talented. I mean, gosh, as a writer and an actor. I know, that's the other thing is that he was in some ways known as a writer then.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Maybe that's why we kept casting him as one. Yeah, which I forgot. I think he wrote Tropic Thunder. I mean, he's done some cool stuff. And he's funny as hell, but also great dramatic actors. Oh my God, the leftovers. Oh my gosh, I know. Incredible, incredible leftovers.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Sorry, I just shouted into you guys' ears. It was funny, because he came on, and again, I was watching with my wife over there, and we're like, is that Joe Bowe? He looks like he's 25. He looks so young. Right? I'm like, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:38:22 And he was like, no, no, no, it's not him. I think it is. It's totally him. It's 100% him. And it's his voice. I was like, it's his voice And he was like, no, no, no, it's not him. I think it is. It's totally him. It's 100% him. I was like, it's his voice. But I had to look it up. No way. I was not 100% sure.
Starting point is 00:38:31 I mean, this is 1998. It's a long time ago. No, I know. But he's amazing. He's amazing. All right, let me look at my paper. I have to be like, I know it's a little scary. And like, there's part of me where I'm like,
Starting point is 00:38:41 yeah, you should go home with him. And they're like, no. And I'm like, yes. And then I'm like, no. It's one of those things like, I don't know, would the sex be good with that guy? You know, it's funny because- Because he's almost so self-important.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Like does he only care about his own shit? I think probably, yes. But I also think that he's Justin. So there is something that he's bringing that's not on the page that makes you think, mm, maybe. Oh yeah, yeah. That character though, forget you know. Right, no, what not on the page that makes you think, hmm, maybe. Oh yeah, yeah, that character though. Right, no, what's on the page is it.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Yeah, that character is kind of like, would he be good in bed? No, I think he would, I'm not even gonna say what I think he would do. Yeah, you do, you just say it. You just say it. He would come in like 15 minutes and roll off you and go to sleep.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Right, or going back to. He would push your head down. Right roll off you and go to sleep. Right, or going back to- He would push your head down. Right, push the head down and then go, and then also the table, you were talking about going down, you know, going down, blow jobs. What was the line? Like I only do it to get it or something.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Right, right, right. Miranda says I only give head to get head. Which is a good line. Yeah, no, it's great. Yeah, it's a good line, it's a good line. Right, so. But I don't even think he, I don't even know if that character would give. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Right, he doesn't seem like a giver. Unless he thinks he's so great at it. That he's gonna show you. I don't like that. And it's not even for you. I don't like that. It's almost for him to show. A boo.
Starting point is 00:40:00 You know what I mean? Women do not like that. No, I know. That's my personal feeling. What, what? You can tell when someone's doing it in a performative type of a way. Oh, of course.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Oh, oh yeah, even going around. You know what I'm saying? Now I remember my story I was telling when I was talking about Erin and this, and we're having great sex, right? Tell me. Just generally, I was leading up to something that I forgot, but now I remember.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Tell me. Because we had talked about something prior. Yeah. I, if she is not in the mood, if she doesn't want to and is just doing it for charity, I'm out. You can feel. I don't want it. If she comes in like, babe, like, okay,
Starting point is 00:40:33 do you want to like have sex? No, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not how I want to go about it. There has to be a connection there. There has to be a desire, a want. This is why you're happily married. You know what I mean? There has to be.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah. Because I don't want charity. I don what I mean? There has to be. Yeah. Because I don't want charity sex. Gross, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I Heart podcast awards. Oh wow! You're kidding, you're kidding. Stop it. Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator Award at Monday's I Heart Radio Music Awards. Now these I Heart award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Las Culturistas. Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public. Just open the free I Heart Radio app,
Starting point is 00:41:20 search Las Culturistas and listen now. Is this a good time? It's me, Dylan Mulvaney, and my dear friend Joe Locke from Heartstopper and Agatha All Along is my very first guest on my brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour. It's musical mayhem and it is going to be so much fun. I like a man. You like a man. What do I like, Joe? You like a man too. We often- We have quite a similar- There's some cross-pollination happening in here. You like a man. What do I like, Joe? You like a man too. We often-
Starting point is 00:41:45 We have quite a similar- There's some cross pollination happening in here. Not like- No! Have we? No. No. Not yet.
Starting point is 00:41:54 Never say never. I cannot wait for all you girls, gays, and theys to join me on this extremely special pink confection of a podcast. There is so much darkness in this world, and what I think we could all use more of is a little joy. Listen to the Dillon Hour on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Love ya!
Starting point is 00:42:11 My husband cheated on me with two women! He wants to stay together because he has cancer! Should I stay? Okay Sam, that has to be the craziest story in OK Storytime Podcast history. Well John, that's because it's Dumpin' Week and this user writes, My partner told me when we first got together that he has cancer. He is currently living with his mom while he is in recovery so that it takes the pressure I went to Facebook and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Oh! What else is he lying about?
Starting point is 00:42:27 Well, one thing my paranoia was not aware of was that he was cheating on me. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I was cheating on him because I was a woman. I went to Facebook and it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Oh, what else is he lying about? Well, one thing my paranoia just wouldn't let up was about the cancer and his treatments. I asked his mom about it, who told me he doesn't have cancer. She also informed me he was in rehab, not the hospital. He suffered from addiction and was trying to recover for me and our baby. Did she leave him?
Starting point is 00:43:04 Well, to find out how the story ends, listen and follow the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager, responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Hey, y'all, I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. My podcast, When You're Invisible, is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped my life. I get to talk to a lot of people who form the backbone of our society, but who have never been interviewed before. Season 2 is all about community, organizing, and being underestimated.
Starting point is 00:44:33 All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it. I can't have more than $2,000 in my bank account, or else I can't get disability benefits. They won't let you succeed. I know we get paid to serve you guys, but like, be respectful. We're made out of the same things. Bone, body, blood.
Starting point is 00:44:53 It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the lesson and I'm also the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible as part of the MyCultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I wanna go back to something really quickly. Okay, and then I'm gonna go back to the show. Okay, really quickly.
Starting point is 00:45:19 You go ahead. I know. You said. I love it, go ahead. You said 15, you said, he comes in 15 minutes. Is that, you imply that that's a short amount of time. Can I address that for a second? It was a random number break.
Starting point is 00:45:38 I get your point. It's not that short. It's relatively long, I guess, of sex. I'm just saying it was you, the implication for you That short, it's relatively long, I guess, of sex-ish. I'm just saying it was you, the implication for you was 15 minutes and then he's done and he's gone. And I'm thinking, oh Jesus, I better not sleep with Chris. But I think- Oh God, Jesus, this is going to be the headline.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Just for this... Then we'll get back into the show, but I just think there's this... How red am I right now? Oh, Jesus. There's a misconception with men, and correct me if I'm wrong, maybe I'm not because of the 15 minute thing,
Starting point is 00:46:22 that women want to have sex for hours. There's a misconception of that. And there's also a misconception that a woman wants a very huge penis. Oh no, Oliver, Jesus Christ. Oh, this is not the tone of this podcast. Okay, no, no, no, it can be. Okay, I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:46:41 It can be, it can be. Okay, okay, let's address both. Okay, so this is what I think about it. Now, I did try to talk to someone, I think Christine Taylor last week, there's this weird vibe of the sex scenes in the whole first season, where everyone is just like madly pawing at each other
Starting point is 00:46:57 and kissing like crazy, like this weird, heightened thing. And I'm like, why were we all doing that? Like, what is that about? You know what I'm saying? Like, whose idea of good sex is that? Like... Even in the one I watched. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:12 When someone's kissing Cynthia, that dude, I was like, what is he doing right now? 100%. Yes, it is a whole through line of this weird, frenzied, ripping at the clothes. And I do think it was something that was happening in soap operas on TV at that time. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:47:28 Like it's kind of a TV thing. But I also can remember films, like when sex used to be in films, you know? Where they would like rip the clothes off. Which is so not realistic at all. And to me, not sexy. Like what I'm getting to is- It's never that animal.
Starting point is 00:47:43 I mean, you can have that feeling, but it's never like- Getting some animal is good, right? But starting slow is so nice. Yes. And I think like, and I'm just, we're here, I'm gonna go for it. The last person that I had any kind of relationship with, younger, at one point, you know how there's a lot of kissing
Starting point is 00:48:00 in the beginning? And then at one point he was like, yeah, that's too much kissing. I'm like, uh. I was like, no, the kissing is really important, dude. And then, you know, he was young, he had not very evolved or whatever, and he was like, no, I don't wanna kiss like that.
Starting point is 00:48:16 And I was like. Oh my God, the fact that you even say that is weaker. I know, I was like, now it's gonna be over. Yeah, of course. Because if I'm not gonna get the good kissing, what am I here for? I know, and it's gonna be over. Yeah, of course. Cause if I'm not gonna get the good kissing, what am I here for? I know, and it's funny you say that because with my wife again for a million years,
Starting point is 00:48:31 the kissing kind of went away a little bit strangely. Oh no. Well because I'm not saying it's transactional sex in any way, but sometimes you got kids, you got this. I get it, of course. There's quickies, but you kind of forget. Yeah. And then it's like, you remind,
Starting point is 00:48:44 like we need to make out. Oh the kissing's so good. And you make out, and it's. It's so good, but you kind of forget. And then it's like, you remind, it's like, we need to make out. Oh, the kissing's so good. And you make out, and it's, oh my God. It's so good, right? That's good that you felt that way. I'm glad, I'm glad. So for me, in terms of the 15 minutes thing situation, and I'm only speaking for myself,
Starting point is 00:48:55 because I really think it's important. I think our show tried to show this, but I think people forget, there's different women who want different things, and this is fine. Just like there's different men who want different things, right? And you have to figure out the person that you're with
Starting point is 00:49:07 and whether you're into that. Like with Charlotte in this particular episode, apparently, which I have forgotten, Charlotte doesn't like to give blow jobs, which I think she gets over, okay? Because there's a scene in- I know, when I saw that I'm like, oh man. I know.
Starting point is 00:49:21 I mean, that's sort of a- It's kind of extreme. I mean, I'm not saying that the guy pushing your head down is right. No, that doesn't make it okay. But it's's sort of a... It's kind of extreme. I mean, I'm not saying that the guy pushing your head down is right, but it is, it's a bit of a deal killer. I mean, if I was with a woman and I'm falling in love and she goes, I do not give blow jobs. I hate it, I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I'm like, ooh, cause that's intimate and that's fun. And I'm kind of like, no way, geez. I get it, I get it. That's forever? I get it, I get it. I's forever? I get it, I get it. I'm gonna marry you and grow old with you and die with you without ever having a blowjob for 68 years, like, that's a long time.
Starting point is 00:49:51 That is a very long time. This is my feeling with it, because I had not remembered the storyline at all. Cynthia had remembered that when that episode was happening, that Darren and Michael Patrick came to us independently, each one of us, and said, you know, how do you guys feel about blow jobs? Because we're trying to write this,
Starting point is 00:50:08 but we realized that we're gay men, and you guys are straight women. Can you share with us your thoughts? Really funny, yeah. Right? I had forgotten all of this. God, they should have documented all this stuff. I know. Behind the scenes stuff.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Look, who knew? It was amazing, yeah. Who knew? I know, I know. It would be incredible. You know, it was very intense. We didn't have that many days to shoot back then either. You know what I mean? We didn't think we didn't think we would be what we are.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Thank goodness. And so you never know, all the girls had to sort of exploit. I guess we all said our different things. And I know that I didn't say that I didn't like them because I wouldn't really say that. I might've said I don't like someone pushing my head down because definitely. Of course. Right. I, who likes that?
Starting point is 00:50:40 No. Nobody, as far as I know. But I didn't remember that either. But I didn't also remember that Charlotte has this whole thing and very, like, kind of adorably and with some strength really thinks that he's going to be like, of course, that's fine. No blowjobs is fine. You're that important to me.
Starting point is 00:51:00 She's like, is that a problem? I know. And you're like, uh, yeah. It's all sweet and cute. It is so sweet and cute. I'm like, is that okay? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, is that a problem? I know. And you're like, uh, yeah. Oh. It's all sweet and cute. It is so sweet and cute. I'm like, is that okay? I'm like, I just don't like that.
Starting point is 00:51:11 I just don't like that. I mean, what I think at the time, thinking back on it and also thinking about, you know, she's had this huge development, which all people do, right? Which is what's the joy of still getting to play her all these many years later. And she has this incredible relationship with Harry. And there is a scene in And Just Like That involving
Starting point is 00:51:29 a prosthetic with a blowjob that she is 100% willing and initiates and into. So thank God she got over whatever that was, right? And I don't know when we didn't deal with it. But even it was a nice commentary, though. It's super interesting. Just generally in the episode that I watched where I think Samantha's like, oh, it's power, I feel power.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Right, right. You know what I mean? No, it's super fascinating to think about the dynamics of that and the dynamics and talking about it from the female perspective, which I think is what hadn't been on screen before and what people are surprised about is A, the openness, but B, the fully female perspective. Like we don't even ask the dudes.
Starting point is 00:52:06 See what I'm saying? Like big is an enigma and we're just trying to figure it out, which is very much the female experience, right? And then Charlotte's like, well, I just don't like it. And when they have that scene at the restaurant and Carrie's like, don't do it if you don't like it. You know, it's so cute. It is so cute.
Starting point is 00:52:22 But also so important because just the idea of being able to not do something that all the men want you to do is kind of revolutionary. Of course, of course. But I mean, my thought, and I don't know what I thought at the time, my thought now would be like, what trauma did Charlotte have? I mean, maybe it was all the men pushing her head down. Exactly. Right? Like if that's the general get-go,
Starting point is 00:52:48 which I do think, I mean, I probably couldn't count the number of men in my 20s that pushed my head down. Probably couldn't count up how many that would be. It would probably be everyone that I was ever involved with in my 20s. You know, which is really sad. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Like how are you supposed to like that thing? That's kind of crazy. I know, it is kind of crazy, but it's also Like, how are you supposed to like that thing? That's kind of crazy. I know. It is kind of crazy, but it's also so amazing now that we can even say that that's crazy. Yeah. ["I Heart Radio Music Awards"] Last Cultureistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang,
Starting point is 00:53:18 just one podcast of the year at this year's I Heart Podcast Awards. Oh, wow. You're kidding. You're kidding. Stop it. Lady Gaga will take home the Innovator Award at Monday's I Heart Radio Music Awards. Now these I Heart Award winners are teaming up on a brand new episode of Los Culturistas.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Thank you so much for having me here, but please, please, please don't make me get angry about anything in public. Just open the free I Heart Radio app, search Las Culturistas and listen now. My husband cheated on me with two women. He wants to stay together because he has cancer. Should I stay? Okay Sam, that has to be the craziest story in OK Storytime Podcast history. Well John, that's because it's Dumpin' Week and this user writes,
Starting point is 00:53:56 Last week we had an attempted break-in. I asked my husband, who was supposed to be at his mom's, to come over and change the locks but his mom told me he wasn't with her. And it took me less than an hour to find the first two women he was cheating on me with. Could you even? Well, to find out how this story ends, follow the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeart Radio app,
Starting point is 00:54:13 Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey y'all, I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped me. Season two shares stories about community and being underestimated. All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks. Let's do something about it. We get paid to serve you, but we're made out of the same things.
Starting point is 00:54:36 It's rare to have black male teachers. Sometimes I am the testament. Listen to When You're Invisible on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison,
Starting point is 00:55:01 but they say they have some unfinished business. The Edge of Daybreak, Eyes of Love,'re supposed to have been filing up with another app. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why would you do that to me? Los Angeles, 2021. A friendly neighbor appears out of nowhere and promises to make all my dreams come true. Let's not forget that David Blum
Starting point is 00:55:29 was a professional con artist, so you didn't stand a chance. But my dreams soon turned into a nightmare. I'm Caroline DeMore. Listen as I take down my scammer on Once Upon a Con on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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