Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - 7 Seconds in Heaven w/Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

Kippy and Foley are back with a fun one. Its a family episode baby! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage... MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Download the FREE GetUpside App and use promo code garbage

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Austin, Texas, the middle-class famous store is coming to town. We're gonna be at the moon tower comedy festival this week April 22nd. We're doing our stand-up show and playing a YG with the crowd and we're doing a live podcast You can either get badges or you can get tickets come see us. Let's party We're also gonna be in Denver Phoenix Salt Lake City Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit Chicago Second show at in Chicago only late show tickets left in Chicago get those tickets now. It's a party. We'll see you there Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Starting point is 00:00:42 Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is are you garbage or it's a little show We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grow to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host age Foley kind of the resident bad boy around this Operation coming at you from down here at Anthony's basement. She unfortunately did not make it To work today. Okay second. No call. No show She's gonna be back up there laying on the couch looking for unemployment. I don't know what's going on with this broad
Starting point is 00:01:23 She can't hold down a job. Where's she working nowadays? She's over there Denny's She could work up to manager she plays her cards right yeah night night time manager Well, that's where you gotta start shit machine starting what she ain't starting on a brunch. Yeah Yeah, you don't start at this as a CEO. We can't all be you sure speaking of my co-host ladies and gentlemen the CEO Founder of are you garbage? He's killing it in the polls these days. Yeah like ability over there on the patreon You took a heavy hit in the polls and I am I am the favorite by a landslide this week Because you were a bozo Living long enough to become the bad. I know I went from Batman of the Joker
Starting point is 00:02:07 One episode. It's yikes. You know how bad you got to be for me to be the good guy I'm a prick ladies and gentlemen. You're looking great over there, man. The kids doing alright like how the fuck does he still friends with this idiot? Dang he summers in Europe he winters in Wildwood, New Jersey going down tonight. Give it up for KJ. Hey gang Kevin James Ryan Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes mm-hmm fall video available on news tube Those numbers are Legitimately, legitimately cooking. What about that other thing? What's it called? Is that cameo dot com? No, who was it JG Wentworth? I want my money the stereo app. No Patreon dot com let me tell you something must I know you got your little greasy fingers on Twitter
Starting point is 00:02:59 You stay away from fucking Jack and Sam's operation. That's that that's that that that's their show let them Kings live Yeah, that's right. They're doing they're doing the Lord's work out there. You do your Rockets whatever you want to do You leave patreon.com alone. Yes Let you take a public Which don't couple of shares my way, you know what I mean advisory shares I watch Shark Tank Patreon.com you sign up to get bonus episodes at a YG yep You get episodes of hard feelings, which is a completely different podcast all together And if you're wondering what happened in LA we did an emergency episode this week go check it out
Starting point is 00:03:35 Yeah, the Airbnb saga you get live streams at the top two tiers Where we every month where we play YG with in the live stream. It's a good fucking time. Those are hangs to those are good Hangs everybody's losing having fun a couple of burnies a couple of burnies a couple of jazz cigarettes too on there A Couple of miles Davis's if you know But also if you join now I don't want to make this sound too fucking sales But but not everybody understands if you're not aware you sign up now
Starting point is 00:04:05 You get a whole year full of fucking all the back episodes all there for five or I would recommend the ten dollar level always Go for value. That's just me and these trying economic times get the most Going out the fucking window see those interest rates don't know what that means nope Gang having a nice quick shout out to my one of my best pals in the whole wide world We love them another kid fucking star on the rise around this company idea, man Couple of good ideas this week knocking it out of the park this kid this kid doesn't fuck with albums He only makes singles. It's got a lot of DJ Khaled and I'm telling you right now and we're in the street The boss is really grooming to become on-air talent. I am yeah
Starting point is 00:04:47 Toby came coming Toby came coming soon. Stop saying that because we promised it like two months ago. We haven't done it yet People are all at my ass. Oh, I'm guy him to sub getting kicked out of California. Yeah, give it up for T-Bone McScruffins Mr. Toby McMullin everybody. What's up, dudes? What up man, dude on the walk here, right? I walk past JP Morgan, okay, right never met him. Hi. Yeah, dude out there with a top hat in a monocle Sweatpants crazy, dude, you're like 500 years old, dude No, but Joe Sanagato had the JP Morgan card, correct? No Morgan Stanley. No Merrill Lynch Merrill Lynch very old school Then that's what I walk by walk by Merrill Lynch. I think this guy stinks. All I know is it was a homeless guy asking for a sandwich Just talk to you up for five minutes. Yeah, I mean come on now
Starting point is 00:05:37 But I walk past and their tagline is wealth management I didn't know yeah, you don't know what wealth was. I sure don't yeah, I got a Venmo credit card. That's how we're doing over here dirtbag ink Should be the name of my personal LLC dirtbag ink I felt like a real bummer bubblegummer. I walked past sign. I went well Well, the mainage. I don't I would never feel comfortable in there I'm I come what do you think you have to have in the account just to hold Because yeah, whatever that is more than more than my four grand
Starting point is 00:06:11 I'll tell you that right now leave one of your kids in there for the weekend. Do you have a do you have a Minimum amount you have to keep in your checking account or savings account probably probably yeah, I would assume t-bone. Oh, no Yeah, you don't know that probably what are you talking about? I don't read anything. I just click the boxes sign I don't know anything. I don't know what I have. I don't know if I check in no checking I know my car got the clown when I was trying to buy cigarettes for me and Josh Potter out there I blamed it on my wife She's not a homeowner in Amazon. I think god damn seamless. She's killing me. He's like, yeah, I know I'm zero I would never take an account. That's when you get in a wealth. Oh, you have to keep seven grand in here
Starting point is 00:06:55 Okay, no problem. Go right ahead. I'll move that right now From my mom's account. I'll just take my lollipop and leave. Please. Thank you very much Um Why I thought of something this morning. I wanted to ask you real quick I'm gonna get into the cues cuz gang as you know, it's a family episode. We'll be reading your questions. Okay from the bus my poofin What's going on got low-flow shower head vibes? You get a little pomade in there something dude. Oh, you're looking at that's not I mean you got a good head of hair That's a you got a that's a rough do like a moment
Starting point is 00:07:29 Scooting It looks like you got a bump in it Tom the cat it looks like you're trying to get in studio 54 What I know Jerry let me in I was talking about a lady trying to get in the studio Got high hair putting a hole in the ozone with that fucking hairspray there daddy Yeah, I was down at my mom's and she doesn't have the kind of equipment that that that that my lady gets it's just suave Original not even strawberry or nothing. It's brutal. She does the dishes with it. It's a night Jack my shit all up and the soap that they have down there
Starting point is 00:08:11 Patty get some something with a little moisturizer in it. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm at old-school Irish You know, I feel like I'm an Angela's ashes Bro cream is there anything in the bathroom that has a pump top. Oh fuck yeah, dude They catch up. Yeah We're gonna eat a plane hot dog in a shower What are we fucking answers? What are we doing here? She stole a set up from Citizens Bank Park? You got the relish machine and everything I Assume you're not a relish guy on your hot dogger. You would assume correct. Yeah T-bone. Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't like nothing on nothing
Starting point is 00:08:51 Unless it's a cray of singy What I was down here today had a Philip the old the old vehicle And something struck me you have a new car. I do it's a Kia. Do you ever? Go for anything other than regular are you a plus man or a premium if you're feeling it They ever mix it up. No, never right and my stepdad. Yeah, you still have a big suburban and I remember on Christmas He would fill up with premium as like a treat to the truck He goes, she's been good this year. I gotta take care of only time you'd ever do premium Man my parents looked at that shit like that's how dirt to do. I mean we are that's trash
Starting point is 00:09:33 My my mom always said that was a scam. She looked at that shit like it was bear spray There was no way we were getting anywhere near that shit. No, that's crazy to me. That's how they get you. Yeah I just saw I heard it's good. Are you supposed to go with the plus the plus? I think you're only but I think it's like you got to do that all the time or something I don't think like one and that's not happening. It's not like an oil change. You know what I mean? My Merrill Lynch get the fuck out of here. Um, I guess is getting pricey I just saw a video on something. I don't know it's that came across my desk while I was doing some research for the program This girl which kind of makes sense because what is it? It's like 80 90 and 93 or the number or like 87
Starting point is 00:10:14 What are like the numbers the octane numbers? It's like 87. So you're talking about metallic a tour date Load reload talking about riding the lightning. What are we doing? No, it's like 87 89 91 or something like that She thought she goes get the old stuff. Don't pay for the new stuff. She thought it was the year It was extracted. She thought it was like wine or something She goes get the 87. Don't pay for the new stuff. He's like the guy's like what? I'll do a 72 diesel be nice try it out That was always a that was always instilled in us too. What do you ever put diesel in the car? I'll kill you my buddy did it. My buddy did my buddy Pat not
Starting point is 00:10:55 Do you get far? No stalls at the stalls at the tank It's really at the at the at the get at the tank. That's got a ruin car. Oh, yeah I mean, I think yeah, I mean the car. Yeah, I don't think it was like one of those reliant kazers. I was a real car I mean, this is like 2005 or like it was like senior high school. You're driving like he's driving like an 88 It's bad when your car's older than you yeah, that's a tough look But and it's all it seized up like you turn it on and it bumps it through and yeah, it's over. I'm sticking with regular Yeah, I'm gonna how big we get I Don't know maybe
Starting point is 00:11:37 Premium would be nice. I some cars only run on it. That's that's what you know You're doing all right not only run on it, but it's for the end like the beamers and shit You got to go high end really. Yeah, I believe I don't know I've never owned one But that's what I heard keel put anything in there put bananas in there runs on prune juice If you're in a pinch, I Had this today, which we've spoken about but I had another level twist to it. Mm-hmm. I'm going down the shore today Yes, you are
Starting point is 00:12:06 Which did you know it was called Wild Woods and not Wildwood? It's the Wild Woods. Yeah is North Wildwood Wildwood and Wildwood Crests the Wildwood That's real trashy and then there's so there's Wildwood proper North Wildwood Wildwood And then Wildwood Crests Nance used to see the wildlife the Wildwoods. Yeah, though. There's three of them that that it composed the Wildwood One dirtbag Voltron the Irish Riviera as it's been referred to But with the claims ain't fresh and the bills ain't paid
Starting point is 00:12:45 I'm going down obviously, you know zero clean clothes absolute Zero I put my last pair of clean undies that I had on today to come here. You're welcome. Nice I got a pair if you need them Yikes cover the car So I'm like, that's one thing. I'm fucking you know Well, you do we do the laundry when you get down a gonna do the laundry when I get down there at my mom's But here's the real dirtbag twist. I'm not staying at my mom's
Starting point is 00:13:16 I got an Airbnb down the block, but I'm gonna go to my mom's and do the laundry And take it back to my Airbnb drop off pickup. What are you doing? I don't think she's gonna do it Yeah, what's the lesson your mom washed your clothes? I don't know probably fucking recently. No, never. Oh, really? I mean when I moved at least New York Maybe if like I go home and I leave a pair of fucking undies socks and you know, it's sure she'll throw it in She'll do that with like the miscellaneous. Oh, Patty's great with that. Yeah, that would say a lot Front door service. Oh, you are where you are little plastic things and everything extra starch whatever you want
Starting point is 00:13:53 And I don't know what she she has this concoction that she uses to get the stains out It's like two parts vinegar one part oxy clean a little bit of Gatorade two parts You need to grow the fuck out start doing your own goddamn right? She lets it sit out in the sun in the backyard. Are you gonna let that stop at some point? She's gonna be an old woman that you're just taking advantage of now. Some would say that's already that's what I'm saying She does it good. What do you want? I mean, you're almost 50 Yeah, and she's doing your laundry. Yes. She is. That's crazy. Do and you have no shame on that now. I love it smells fresh She's good, too. You don't feel bad that this poor woman's got to go through your dirty drawers. She likes to do it
Starting point is 00:14:35 No one likes cleaning your underwear. I'm telling you she loves it. No, that's insane system down and everything What's the thing where you're embarrassed for someone else from shawning from shooting shaman friend shaman? Yeah, I got that all the time around You're jealous is what you want. No, you just live in a bizarro world. Are you dude? You're 46 You're a business owner. She don't let me touch the machine. She don't want me near it. What? Yeah, she doesn't like anybody touching a watch. She ruined Patty. You're ruining this. Yeah, you got a bad merchandise over here No, you gotta cut the cord on this fat ass. You're the best do the sheets, too. Well, you had a little mess in there last night
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah, she's worried you're gonna plug it in wrong Yeah, for the new listeners everything in Foley's house is completely unplugged including the washer when it's not in use Except for one power strip that has the entire township looked up to it fucking wild Literally it's like going back in time in that house It's a good time Who any who it's a goddamn family episode it is where we answer your question You choose I was actually pretty funny. I was talking to mr. Versey last night on the phone and he hit me with the real-life you choose
Starting point is 00:15:52 I go dude, you just hit me with a you choose. Yeah, I thought he's all he was all jammed He was all fired up shout out to that pulver shout out to mr. Versey who's gonna be making a return here quite soon I like to hear that little class in his joint. I know finally gotta get what do you think he would say if he knew Because you're about the same age as him you're probably older than him What do you think mr. Versey would say if he knew your mom was doing your laundry? I have a slight feeling That you're nuts if you think mr. Versey lets his mother do his laundry. I bet she did it I know three years younger than four Versey is I know his mom. I know his mom was really on point growing up
Starting point is 00:16:33 Growing up. I bet she did it for I did it. She probably did it past when he went when he you know when he was a kid Yeah, but you're way past you being a kid True you shouldn't even be doing it for your kid if you had kids you shouldn't even be doing it for your kids My mom will do it They're green kid dude. You're closer to discount coffee than you are to be in a kid Yeah, closer to discount coffee senior citizen. Ah, man. What do they get free coffee? They get a discount Yeah, dude. No, they don't senior citizens gonna get a deal on coffee get deal on everything
Starting point is 00:17:08 Old bags ain't got much to think how much time left. You know what I'm going down at Canal Street Tell you that Get my laundry done and 20 cents off a cup of decaf You're getting a fake ID to say you're 65 Is that what it is I Know TGI Fridays runs a pretty nice special for veterans on The crux of our relationship. I think where most of our most of our butting heads comes from And this I'm not coming coming on and move on is the fact you don't think there's anything wrong with your mother doing your laundry
Starting point is 00:17:53 It at 46 years old. That's what I think But that that was an aha moment for me if you're going I just have to move on from these things because I drive myself That's gonna bother me for four days. I'll tell you what I'll write that down Nothing you need to do with something I need to do and just go like oh, I live in a row where that's insane I do it when I'm here when I'm home, but if I have dirty stuff hold on I'm just saying you still live in a row where you're like. Oh, yeah, that's completely normal. That's where I'm going. Oh Sometimes I forget we don't live in the same reality. She's on point man. She likes to do it. She loves me I don't know what to tell you
Starting point is 00:18:27 And she does it really good the clothes, but that's why you're having her do it Why you're getting off with the eyes? She she likes doing it the whatever whatever Trot no one would like Handle in your raw undies. There's no one in the world who would like you going out here these two That's a fucking take it right off in front of her Time to air out in the hamper Sometimes they refresh there's like a half-life on that's crazy Isn't it if you got a pair of undies sitting in the hamper for a week and you got to go back you go to the bottom?
Starting point is 00:19:00 They're all right. Yeah back in the pack Same thing with basketball shorts, too I wear a basketball shorts for like a few days not for basketball. No, and they have a They have a scent to them in the nether region. That is a tough look. It's probably real homeless. He We got a power walk. You were there in between places. I bowed John, but if you let that sit for a little bit, whoa It's like Neo coming back to life eats itself or something. I don't know what's happening Yeah, but it's like about all form all form baby best in the beds best in the biz all form now Of course if you listen to this broadcast for a little while, you know about Helix mattresses
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Starting point is 00:20:19 No tools needed. I put the one over there together by myself probably carried in with a couple of guys though Cuz it was so heavy. No comes all bing-bang boom Pop open pop it together. It's a wrap. Hey bones sitting on it right now He's got his feet on it get your feet off. It's he gum on the bottom of your shoe little dirt ball And if you're getting the sofa without trying it sounds a little risky You don't need to worry you get a hundred days to decide if you want to keep it That's more than three months And if you don't love it, they'll pick it up and you get a full refund, but I'm telling you you're gonna like these things
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Starting point is 00:21:21 Multivitamin this 75 high-quality vitamins minerals whole foods or superfoods probiotics and adaptogens Whatever the heck they may or may not be that sounds like superhuman style. I know Lift this table Guys it's lifestyle friendly whether you eat keto paleo vegan dairy for your gluten-free contains contains less than one gram of sugar No GMOs no nasty chemicals no artificial flavoring and it still tastes good delicious Everybody's taking some sort of multivitamin got this you got two of those you take this every six hours at this that knocks a g Not a g1 knocks that all out one stop shop one stop shop take the powder dump it in a cup of water Slam it down. Plus it's any of this cool little thermos. I know it's a rat
Starting point is 00:22:01 Reclaim your health and arm your immune system with a convenient daily nutrition All is just one scoop but one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million pills Like I've stated prior to make it easy athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin D And five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athletic greens comm slash garbage again That's athletic greens comm slash garbage take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance Let's get into a couple Patreon questions. Excellent. Also. We just got back from the road out there in La La Land, San Francisco, oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:22:38 Uh We got a I got I got two heaters that we couldn't get to one of live shows that I want to get into here I love it. Also, we'll be in Austin. Mm-hmm. The week this is coming out Friday night for a live AYG stand up we play YG with the crowd and then We're doing our show. We're doing our show, which is awesome, which is great at the Stateside theater or something on Friday night April 22nd come the fuck out and see it take it's gonna be a late show We're gonna be booze. It's gonna be a hoot. Good times. Get them tickies And then also we're gonna be doing a live pod later on in the weekend guest to be announced. Yes later date gonna be fun
Starting point is 00:23:15 The guest is Barack Obama Could fly Patty down interview her we should get Patty in here No, we should get Patty on Shark Tank to sell her stain removal. Haha, whatever. She's got a bad idea. Fuck I gave the recipe away. I didn't say what kind of Gatorade though So there you go It ain't white glacier whatever the fuck these bozos are drinking Glacier chair is your son a fat piece of shit and you had to You had to become a scientist to clean his dirty underwear that I got the deal for you
Starting point is 00:23:51 Do you still do your middle-aged son's laundry? Oh God you are Something else big man. Thank you. So was that cold sore moving on? Little little love bike going up. Yeah, I just put the picture with that thing in a couple of days I went his beak yikes hurts to they hurt We're lucky. We don't shoot this thing in 3d The seats are moving around you getting sprayed by it and I think I I think it was the Sun in California is what made it come out. Yeah, we're the herpes in your body
Starting point is 00:24:42 One of the other guys could be the Sun could be that I'm infected. I Don't know what kind of detergent my mom's using but I think I'm allergic to it Hmm. Yeah, I got a little stinger. Thanks for calling that out piece of shit. Yeah, you wouldn't call it out If I had it, huh, man, you're lucky. I might make out with it. Just so you get it a Couple of stingers on your underwear. All right, let's get into it. That could be a ring Let's see here. All right, this was from the La Jolla show this from Michael See this was a banger that we didn't get to it's just funny. What's the last thing you used a paper clip for? We all know it wasn't clipping papers together
Starting point is 00:25:22 I Papers together use a stapler. There is a bag of stir Yeah bag of stromen wheat bread at my parents right now with a paper clip on it. Oh my god. Yeah That's tough. That's a tough one Yeah, I don't know the last I don't even have paper clips But it was for sure to like reset the modem or something, you know what I mean? You got to like undo it and push that button. I love having to have it one of those around it is great I love taking a paper clip apart
Starting point is 00:25:59 Doing that and you know what I love now too, which I hate it when I was a kid are the the black clips the binder clips Yeah, we use those all the time like the big ones they use for chips and pretzels and a lot of stuff There's tons of them in the drawer Because remember for a while they have ones for a few clips. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they never really we just stole that They suck they would break play with them. Yeah, I did the pain Those you know what else could kind of kick rocks the corn and the cob holders never a fan now They were always fun to play with it. Okay, if I can stab someone what I think my brother stabbed me with one When I was a kid, you know what was
Starting point is 00:26:41 What's your take on this? Right, you get you go over to someone's house and you go. Oh Doritos. It's like an open bag Like you know, it's fold it up with say with a binder clip on it. I've seen this before But the bags cut that you ever see that they cut the top of the bag off That's just weird. That's psycho stuff and any of the cutting of anything like that Just fold it fold it tuck it in you get a tighter seal. That's up there with the half a fucking toothpaste That's a tube a toothpick. Yeah, you cut it in half and leave that there I've seen that yeah, it's no good
Starting point is 00:27:15 No, I'm not a fan of none of that shit because you want the extra so you can fold it That's what I'm saying get a tighter to get a tighter seal in there Food scissors or regular scissors, whatever ice pops hair, whatever you need will do. I'm okay scissors are Utility player in the Ryan's plenty of summers. I wish I had scissors for my ice pops for my freeze pops Yeah, so I'm talking used to have to chew and bite them or use a steak knife I always like to say I do an accent you take a lot off the top and get like a little nice appetizer love a lot How many of those you eat at once back in a day sure, okay?
Starting point is 00:27:53 There's a new fat court coming everybody strap in the garage fridge of my mom may or may not have been recently turned on and stocked It's like a trout pond in there Fantastic right dude get ready for summer a day. I'd probably do about an eight piece a day. I'm talking at once Well, you get to and then maybe go back. You never just get one you go to yeah always to always to yeah, always like water So they were all right. They were all right. Um, shout out to freeze pops Okay, right sure What was the question? The paper clips. Yeah, the next one is this was from the LA show. I believe it's from Anthony R
Starting point is 00:28:35 Have you ever used an old t-shirt as a car seat cover? That's Scares the shit out of me Why because people looks like someone sit in there like someone sit Yeah, and I always thought people did that to keep people away from their car That really bugs me out when I'm walking when I'm walking by a car and they have them on both seats and you look over Yeah, that's strange scary I saw the window visor the other day my wife noticed it and she goes that's trash right in the front
Starting point is 00:29:03 front window visor ed hardy ed hardy In like a decent looking car. That's a giveaway. I was like what or was that? Turn it inside out even if it was free or I don't know anybody still using those also it's April What do we do it's april and it was like 57 degrees. Yeah, what are you powder? What's going on? Like a vampire driving that thing What do you think about the things that go on the sides that they have now not the ones that you can raise up? I gotta back seat those are classy
Starting point is 00:29:32 But I know my my one cousin has it on his front like stuck on yeah Now anything stuck on your window sure and then baby in the back sure but like if you're If you're doing that's like That's like a modification you would buy at the checkout at a car wash. You know what I mean like that's That's like all real cheap shit Anything with a suction shouldn't go on your car anything with a suction in the bathroom stinks, too I knocked over like fucking four things in my parents shower. They get suction cups everywhere like they're fucking Like fucking you're also touching all four walls do so
Starting point is 00:30:11 Um, yeah, no suctions that shit don't fucking work um But all right, let's get to some patreon Questions guys as you know when you sign up for that there goddamn patreon, which is true the rings part away yikes um We will answer your garbage question on air This one's from mickey in the same world as the cars ever worked on a car that's parked on the street I've never had I've had to change tires when you're like parallel parked
Starting point is 00:30:40 I remember guys are coming up. Are you moving? I'm like my fucking head I'm like dude the cars jacked up my heads. I'm not moving anytime soon. You fucking asshole Got three tires on his goddamn thing. I think we've mentioned this before that's a big city thing That's a city thing when you got to kind of do it. Yeah, but there's in my neighborhood in washington tights Legit businesses businesses. Yeah, just on the side of the street just working on cars. It's pretty show up every day They got fucking car washes too. You pull up to one of those guys They got really they got like a big conversion van with a tank of water in the back that they fill up every day somewhere Jesus they're in there. It's probably like 20 bucks
Starting point is 00:31:16 All hand washed they do a real nice like under the bridge or something I think you got to know a guy to get in but to get in but it's invite only I think getting a haircut next to your car Getting washed under a bridge. It's a that's trash, but they're very it's very uh, you know Resourceful up there if you're like, hey, I got to make some fucking money. I own a business on a street. Let's go Everybody uses it. Yeah, and the burbs not so not so much if you're working on a car in your driveway That's a tough look Yeah, but I guess unless you're one of those guys that could do that shit. Yeah Yeah, we weren't
Starting point is 00:31:47 We'd be out there screaming at each other because as you know patty used to go to the junkyard and get parts and do shit herself put in a tail light put in a headlight find another uh Roller for the window We do all that shit ourselves in the dark in the driveway on a school night And there was some screaming. I just wait till the daytime because you gotta get to work the next day It's freezing cold outside you can't drive with the windows down It's trash I remember on the one time
Starting point is 00:32:17 Neighbors across the street were fixing something on their car I was at my buddy's house who lived like the next street over and we were in his driveway and he had a A real bad group of kids that lived across the they were just older Bad kids Just you know Real delinquents these kids. Yikes. Yeah, I never crossed into delinquency. I never got arrested as a kid That was this kid these kids mo there was like the parents were never home A lot of wife beaters a lot of underage like open underage sig smoking probably not the best school lunches either coming in
Starting point is 00:32:54 Yeah Felt bad for those kids. Um, just like a rough rougher Family the rest of the block was beautiful. Mm-hmm. These kids were Tough no kids. Yeah, and uh, they were fixing something And we were just we would just sit down there and watch them and the fucking car From the bushes like like a bitch Hide behind the green box
Starting point is 00:33:22 um and uh Something we're checking the something And the cap to like the fucking antifreeze or like the radiator popped off and fucking Doused the kid with fucking hot blue goo or whatever It was like an acid burn, dude If you should have seen these dirtbags carrying around in the front Throwing splashing water on get in the pool. They hopped in the neighbors. Put some dr. Pepper on them
Starting point is 00:33:54 It was a fucking city gets scarred I don't know probably because there were a couple of kids in my school I just remember going I was like seven going never working on a fucking car I just dude Even if I got to change the gas if I got to fill the gas tank. I'm thinking about that We were always told never touch the radiator. Even with the cars. I don't touch anything Yeah, get the fuck out of here But I don't even like jumping a car, but I'm an older gentleman
Starting point is 00:34:18 um, and back in the 80s I went to uh A catholic school st. Nicholas st. Mary's and every winner I felt like there was one or two kids that would show up with radiator burns The radiator went in their house or they were playing next to it and they got splashed with the radiator, uh steam Yeah Yikes is right. I don't do that. Some kid was fucking Faceful a radiator. I don't I don't ruin the holidays
Starting point is 00:34:48 Um This one's mickey ever knows someone that could jailbreak an iphone now T-bone you gotta know some dirtbags who are jailbreaking iphone. My brother was on that ship. Which what does that do? Is it like breaks the security system so you can like input your stuff, right? What does that mean? Yeah, you can add there's like a firewall. You can add just making stuff up. You're just saying computer terms Netscape AOL fire stick
Starting point is 00:35:19 Kippy still uses yahoo to search for stuff. I'm an aj kind of guy ash jeeps. Yeah, he was all right classy guy Sure, uh, it allows you to add third-party apps like that aren't approved in the itunes store So if you wanted like a bit torrent client to download some shady shit some stuff like that you dark web kind of stuff Sure You want to buy a mountain lion or something like that Right, I think you could do that above board But I also think if things were locked I used to have a friend who was in the bartending business
Starting point is 00:35:51 And uh, still is um But people would leave phones all the time So he would come if you ever needed someone who's ever jammed up and needed a phone He could get his hands on phones because people would leave them and then now come back and get them or whatever they get He put them in his pocket When they said when they sat No, so he'd be like you would hit him up be like hey, I need a phone anybody to phone you hit him up Like what do you got? He'd be like, oh, you know, I got a
Starting point is 00:36:17 iPhone 6 11 5s whatever And they were he's like you just got to get someone to jailbreak it though I guess at least you can like activate it in your name or something I never did it because I rent my phone from sprint mobile. It's a lease Bumper to bumper warranty on that thing yeah, um I remember when the fire stick thing was was happening That's still happening. You can I don't understand you can do something and you watch get all the channels
Starting point is 00:36:46 Yeah, just like that really like a usb. It's called a fire stick. You know usb or whatever I thought amazon sold fire sticks But it was their product and then you then you could jailbreak that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you buy a modified fire stick So it has everything Unlocked for you. Yeah, and like my buddy I think you gotta buy that's like every like six months or a year you got to like buy a new one You got to like re-up. I watch my shows bug them or whatever. Yeah, or like things get upgraded and everything They'll pop you for sure. I can watch my shows
Starting point is 00:37:16 Yeah, or you can spend the you know, 30 bucks a month on on hulu Netflix and fucking what are you do premium or colombo? I watch colombo youtube premium 65 bucks a month Getting bamboozled on that. No, that's youtube tv. Oh, yeah, I got youtube tv kids are out over there on youtube though That's our company been They're saying anything who runs that outfit who owns youtube google google They're good. Mm-hmm. They're big. Yeah Got that right elons making moves. Did you guys know anyone who had the black box with the illegal cable? Dude, yeah, my brother had one not
Starting point is 00:37:53 you know, maybe like 12 years ago him and his buddies lived in a house and they had one I almost broke my elbow on that thing What? Oh pulling your little Pulling the weeds those things made me nervous as a kid. I didn't feel anxiety I didn't feel fear like that again until I saw a pound of weed for the first time Wait, you thought the feds were gonna come and arrest you. Yeah, dog. That's crazy My brother just asked the cable guy was like, hey man, how much feel like fucking do whatever
Starting point is 00:38:20 He's like, yeah 200 bucks and they were like it was a house full of like four of them and they were like, all right Yeah, for sure. Everybody throw a 50 bucks spice Everything nice that spice channel is Not too bad. I mean this was you know The spice channel is a kid when you can't get your hands. I mean now it's all over the place. That's close my eyes You don't need it now. Yeah, you know my step brother. Although on cinemax and stuff sometimes I enjoyed the more I didn't know they weren't having sex for like a long time I didn't know how it worked and my buddy's like what clearly that doesn't line up. I'm like, buddy
Starting point is 00:38:54 I have I've never been to the game. So I don't know what goes where but that looks pretty cool I don't know what I'm striking at or stealing home Foley, how disappointed were you when you found out the spice channel wasn't about meats? Dry rubs either way though, huh? Where's the grill? What's going on? Um Let's see here this one's from Nicholas. This is a big kippy move the api with the stall door open You do, huh? Yeah, let him take a look. I don't like touching anything in there. Really public bathrooms Fucking take a like the turnpike bathroom or something
Starting point is 00:39:41 I don't like the stalls. There's a lot of splash back on those stalls and the floors are always Fuck it. You're standing in p I'm surprised you do that as Um nervous of a guy as you are that's when somebody can jack you Your back's exposed Oh, nobody gets killed in a fucking truck stop bathroom I mean, yeah, truck stop bathroom in the middle of the night. Sure. That's one thing I'm the top. I'm talking about, you know, Farley's plaza on the turnpike to get rough over there
Starting point is 00:40:10 Um, they run out of burgers. I don't like touching anything. So I don't like closing lock in that door I just think about how much poops on that fucking door lock. No Kip, let's talk about ladder ladder want to talk to you about ladder gang Let me tell you something in these uncertain times You want to make sure that you have your family your loved one taking care of take care of this kind of stuff I'm leaving it all to you. By the way, what do you mean? I'm leaving it all to you Can't wait both chains to watch you bought me a couple of pairs of sneakers I'm leaving it all to you gang. You want to make sure that you're covered
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Starting point is 00:41:43 Going out to dinner because we always get whacked out inflation is through the roof gas prices are high Restaurants are expensive. Wouldn't it be nice to have an app where you got a little cash back You get to wet your beak a little bit and I know you're thinking it's too good to be true It's not i'm telling you you gotta try get upside. We got it. I'm saving a little money Make some money on the back There you go. We've got a multiple streams of income. Let go finesse y0 to three appetizers. I make good money We'll get upside Losing money if I didn't eat all this stuff
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Starting point is 00:42:57 That's a lot of scratcher. I come from it's tax time. I could use the couple of That's probably why they have a 4.8 star rating on the app store. Not bad. That's better than my uber rating Which is a 2 2 Download better than my credit score Download the free get upside app and use promo code garbage to get $5 or more cash back on your first purchase of $10 or more That's $5 or more cash back on your first purchase of $10 or more using promo code garbage now back to that show back to the show Who's at fault or who should apologize if you go to a bathroom? And you open the door and someone's in there peeing they didn't lock it
Starting point is 00:43:34 Because I had a guy who does that that's on me if you don't lock or close the door You forget the lock a lot. I don't I piss with the door. Why don't I'm talking about a single like a single bathroom Oh, that's him. That's always him. Yeah. Yeah, why does I had a guy give me shoes that you don't fucking knock I'm like, what the fuck the fucking door dickhead. It wasn't his apartment Nice piece by the way. Oh you saw this typically your backs to the door caught a peek Hey, buddy, sorry is anybody in here Holy cow Because you know the bosses around here
Starting point is 00:44:11 are you Italian Alley and dudes always had heaters Not me Nope also under puberty at 24. I got a little Italian in me Not the not the bottom half All right, let's see here like a meatball though a meatball guy Of course, dude meatballs are all right. You meatball guy
Starting point is 00:44:39 I'm gonna have meatballs tomorrow for Easter. Wow. Do meatball sausage ham. They're the whole nine I didn't know they had them at the last supper, but all right Really? No, that's like the third time you push the last supper bit off air I'm sorry. I was in I was in a dream world of of a crock pot full of steam and hot tiny little meatballs I'm all about it, man. That's what we're doing. Get a couple of fresh amoroso rolls pre-sliced Make a sandwich get yelled at because they're supposed to be for our derbs Horses the overs. Yeah um
Starting point is 00:45:11 Like it like a sweet This is from st. Louis show off this guy's got two pretty good heaters and I rarely do a back-to-back. Wow very rarely Never have one red ten dollar homie bring the tour to st. Louis. We're working on it. There you go. Um We just gotta pick up some bulletproof vests Is it tough down there? It ain't good. Really? We're waiting on our ghost guns Ghost guns Yeah, you don't read the paper
Starting point is 00:45:44 No, it's been a little less time on tiktok and find out what's going on in the world. I got these ghost guns running around Okay, they're like put together and untraceable Hmm. Ah peeked your interest, huh? Not really. I was just trying to move the show along Let's just start running guns. What are we doing here? A couple of fucking midnight cowboys. You should start running Oh, get me the guns. I just got a gun in front of you. I'm dragging you along um, all right, uh Have you ever named a pet after something supposedly fancy example a dog named Gucci?
Starting point is 00:46:21 That's a tough look when you name something fancy Ed Hardy Come here Ed Hardy That's a tough look That's like that's like the same thing as naming a car to me. What? No, that's completely different That's completely different. There's nothing wrong with naming your car Your car is typically we've talked about your cars typically appease your shit if you're naming your car
Starting point is 00:46:46 Okay Don't tell laddie that but okay. What do you mean a car that was just in the shop last week because it didn't start battery By the way, can I say shout out to west berry? No, you can Not unless they fucking fucking grease the envelope. You know, that's customer service. I've ever had T-bone bleep that no free promo They're good family-owned business Since 1983 You turn around you got it on your back
Starting point is 00:47:14 The jeep pulls in T-bone's doing graphic The car the number comes across the bottom behind a jeep. We cut the deal with that. Yeah If you get down there this saturday the savings will blow your mind. Me and T-bone will be broke cast alive from the parking lot I used to love that shit Man, that was like the state fair when they would do that. They were big those local um Who who used to do it on the boulevard and philly like map black kia or something we want to see in a kia
Starting point is 00:47:46 It definitely couldn't have been a kia Why because kia wouldn't around back then. I don't know was it I don't know. It was real low rent that they were pushing that in the late 90s Oh, kia was around in the 90s for sure. My aunt had one. She did Comey broad That they were already gone hit me with a numby 1944 they've been making these kids How long's jeep been around? Oh Let's go
Starting point is 00:48:12 Go to the matrices. You're crazy. Definitely older 1941 Yeah, beat you the war they had him in a war. That's where they started jeeps in the war Storing the beaches of normie those and now they're made in mexico I bet you have there's but see how many kias versus jeeps are made in the u.s. Kia's big here. It's kia all the way Toyota too. Yeah Any who I didn't see any kias in the battle of the bulge though So I see a battle of the bulge every time you get a jeep Nothing on that. It's cute. What kind of what kind of kid? What's your model? Uh, what do I got? I got a forte
Starting point is 00:48:50 Oh, hencho e mexico P-bone cut this I'm a patriot god damn it. I'm getting rid of this goddamn lease Can't be driving around in a bill forte He got me in a korean car made in mexico. I'm all jammed up I pay my goddamn taxes. What's happening? This guy's on a list somewhere Jesus christ. I got a north korean forte Okay
Starting point is 00:49:19 It's just me and Dennis robin cruising around Dude, once you get in you can't get out There's no internet service in there. Can we got the kim jong-un with the moon roof? Very nice Kim jong-un room No one sent us to north korea. Yeah, anyway, that's west berry jeep Yeah, this saturday. I could just imagine t-bone setting up a folding table in the parking lot and you yelling at That's good
Starting point is 00:50:00 All right, where were oh his other question is did you have a good couch growing up? No, no, we never had anything good growing up. No, that's not true when we lived in wilkesbury the second home that I lived in in wilkesbury that had a that had a Um A front room. I think we called it or a living room Now we called the living room the living room That's the family room where I come from. Yeah, see that's that's that's that's 90s rich kid. Shit. There was no family rooms So what'd you have living room one and living room two that doesn't make anything. I think they called it the parlor
Starting point is 00:50:34 oof That's tough cobble you you doing a couple of parlor tricks some handstands and I got your nose Oh, I would kill it in there. I was a king of the parlor I'd open up for my cousin. She'd do michael jackson. I'd do a little crazy eddy Maybe a robin leech get the crowd juice stop little crowd work And that's after Thanksgiving meal when they're all tired. It's ain't a friday night. Anybody can do a friday saturday night Let's see on a late thursday. All right when the apple pies stinks Um, yeah, we were living room family room. That's rich kid dining room
Starting point is 00:51:07 That's rich kid shit maids quarters Um Living room dining living rooms rich kid shit family room is rich kid shit the family room was nice Family room was where you had the sectional Probably one of those black boxes all that kind of family room was the knock around room living room was one you weren't allowed in Yeah, we had that in my second house. There was a good couch in there, but they were old They were like antiques from like my grandmother That we would have broken anyway
Starting point is 00:51:40 Yeah, nothing ever good happened in that room. It sucked man. There's no there's no tv. We had this fucking we just redid ours probably Maybe like eight years ago But it was 30 You know, what are we talking about where we where the piano was? Yes. Yeah, that's nice. That's a nice sitting room Yeah sitting room. Yeah, maybe a salon. They would call it. Oh, again, they're fucking hair done in a living room I put the that's a term a salon. It's parlor. Yeah, but that's not what you call a room with a fake cat in it Oh, yeah, got out the sprinkles and he's really going for the juggler. Isn't he you pronounce that word wrong?
Starting point is 00:52:17 You talking about Donatello Versace his cat See what I did. I looped it back around It's a circle. I didn't get it. Um, you're nice pet names dummy You know who Donatello Versace is? I know who Donatello is. Michael Andrew, Raphael, Leonardo, sure like pizza um What was I saying? Oh, but that room Got when they bought the house and like whatever 88 or whatever Good year. It was like
Starting point is 00:52:48 It stayed that whole motif until 2012 or something damn it was It was like walking back in time. Everything was pink and green and smoking there. Oh man. We had this fucking chair I mean, it was like nice at the time. I guess But this thing was blown out the dogged shit on it peed on it chewed the body was off I don't know if I've ever asked you this But you know that's what i'm here for you made me think of it the rooms that didn't have tv's really sucked
Starting point is 00:53:22 For the most part as a kid by the fuck with that's what i'm saying. Why would you ever go in there? I'm not gonna go read. Did you ever have any of your friends growing up? Did not have either cable or a television At all at all. No, you're all you're That would be you know, you're from the mountains too. So it's a little more You know, it's tough to run cable through a fucking had a couple of friends. No tv No tv
Starting point is 00:53:49 No, I mean, I gotta think 90s cable was like already fucking booming at that point. That's like to not I mean certain I was from the time of certain rooms would like only one room would have cable in the house Sure nobody had nobody had cable in their bedroom. Oh, what are you crazy? Yeah, we still don't I remember I remember I was like in high school. I'm like mom I'll fucking pay for it. Let me just get some fucking skin a max up here. What are we doing? I'm like, I'll pay to run the fucking cable me and my brother like how much is the run the can I went up drill it Trying to get some on the job experience if you know, also, they told me there was it was impossible
Starting point is 00:54:23 And I remember being like you can't tell me it's impossible to get cable in a room. This is crazy I hate those lives pair my mom told me she had a shot so she couldn't have another kid because I wanted to have a baby brother She's like I had a shot my aunt blew her up on jim bean I'd do a daily shot But yeah, I remember being at a kid's house one time I'm staying for the weekend. I'd never been to his house before who goes away for a weekend to a kid's house We were going somewhere on saturday with his family. Also, do you have gold and silver on right now? That's right? Okay It's really living that haircut, huh?
Starting point is 00:55:01 I Haven't been flashing the rag top at I haven't been flashing because I'm not sure if it's if it's a woman's chain or that's well That's got that's got ladies written. Oh, that should come with a pair of white gloves. My aunt gave it to me. Yeah Your aunt gave it to you. Yeah I think my mom had gotten it for her years ago and when she passed away. She she bequeathed it to me Way to make it fun Can you tell it's a ladies though? It doesn't look I'm okay with it doesn't look manly really I'm not saying it looks bad
Starting point is 00:55:32 But that flat Yeah, that's 80s that's 80s broad smoke and burnies My mom used to rock. Oh this thing has been a bingo a few times. I could pay you that looks like you wanted a bingo Yo, did your aunts speaking of like old timey furniture? I just put me into my aunt's house They would all get together and they would play scrabble and it was a war dude Did your family ever get together and play games like that? We did as my age group of the family which is about With
Starting point is 00:56:04 Husband's wives and girlfriends boyfriends. This is about 20 of us strip poker What a mind it um Everything's giving spin the bottle. You know what I mean seven minutes in heaven Seven minutes. It was seven seconds. How was it seven minutes? He'd knock a broad up Come out smoking a seat. I'll put me in there for seven minutes. Oh, I'm coming out sleepy. It's seven minutes, dude Is it those chicks just didn't want to be anywhere? Yeah Got one whiff of your undies. Let's do 0.7 seconds in heaven. Wait. What is it really? It's seven seconds in heaven
Starting point is 00:56:44 Seven minutes seven minutes in heaven. Jesus christ. Yeah, seven can't close in seven minutes You shouldn't be on the sales team. I'll tell you that us with seven seconds in and out What were you doing in seven seconds? Get a little feel a little smooch. All right. I've had enough just to taste He's like this guy's dumb enough. I can tell him it's seven seconds You just need a little something for later because you know, you're a young man seven minutes in heaven closing deals I'd stand there quietly and get prepared to lie She was all over me. I was in there by myself I'm making out with a coat
Starting point is 00:57:29 That hornet zip up in there really really was into me Fuck What was the other one deep six did you guys do that where you would He'd murder a guy He doesn't ever play the first 48 there Who are you talking of deep six? Deep six was a was a character on gi joe. Uh, no deep six was like you would like in I never I'd never did it You would that's that sounds like a lie. No, I swear to god
Starting point is 00:58:00 Let's just give me going isn't deep enough. Just no, dude I'll tell you it's sick. You're more like a deep three and a half Deep four on a good day shallow four Um, no is where you t-bone you and your fucking dirtbag friend, this is how to come across your your radar at some point Um, it was real like cky-ish. You would like inhale A couple times and like do this. Oh people would push on your chest
Starting point is 00:58:28 We're talking about making out and shit like that. I know but you're talking about asphyxiation Same thing That's what that's how I get off. We did that. We did that in grade school. What'd you call it? We ruined it Um, I think pass out or something like that A couple of egg heads over here the marketing department. We're still getting their feet under them back in the 80s We called shit straight Uh, I think we ruined that for you guys want to do rejected in heaven or pass out Oh
Starting point is 00:58:58 What are you guys gonna do here? I think we ruined that for your generation because a lot of kids a couple of kids went down Had seizures and stuff like that from doing that But it did feel good for a second. I'm speaking. I ever tell you this story We were in health class and we were out in one of those like trailers because the school was like got too big So health trash like all the elect that was specials or electives or whatever they were called. Of course. Yeah Or music they were all like out in those fucking catching your high school those double lines Catching your high school or school in a rebuilding year. You really get the shaft. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about the part
Starting point is 00:59:31 I mean, they were permanent for 10 20 years. There's like rabbits out there in the woods multiplying Jesus Christ do some push-ups or something. Yeah, so I don't know if I ever told you that I don't you said seizures just came across. I only saw a guy have a kid have a seizure once He was bit of like a teacher's pet nerd kind of kid and we were in health class. So he had it coming He deserved it Nobody help him Let him shake it out like a piece of shit. No, no, no He's swallowing his tongue good
Starting point is 01:00:02 So we're sitting there and the health class This isn't gotta like fucking, you know a bad sitcom The lecture or whatever the the study for that day whatever the curriculum Was about seizures and what to do if someone's having a seizure. Uh-huh this kid jeff Fucking seized out. What a kiss ass mid lecture. So we're like, oh, this is a setup It was literally like these are the seven things and then as he read number seven jeff. It's the fucking deck I saw this under practical jokers last night. So bullshit. I wear sal in the other guys I know you're back in the coat room looking for him. Check him for an earpiece real quick
Starting point is 01:00:42 Patten them down. I've seen this before Um, so we all thought it was like a thing of like, hey, you hit the deck and I'll show them how it's done So nobody moved at all And I start panicking. That's like my day. I have like insane fighter if I start seeing like it's like real panicky real calm cool I ran out and I'm like, what should I do? I ran out to go get like a nurse or something There's a teacher in there. Isn't there? Yeah, he's a gym teacher. He doesn't know what mr. The angel or something He's hitting on the cheerleaders. He don't know what's going on. You run back in. I need a hole pass
Starting point is 01:01:20 Can you tie my slip? And I need your bathroom key real quick. So did he save the kid? Uh, it was one of those. I don't I forget. I think he's no longer with us. He threw a kick ball at him Dodge ball get up you nerd um But I remember running into like I'll go into the gym because like kids were in gym And I was like, that's like the easy way to cut through like the gym door was right like a Side door to the gym was right by the trailer. Otherwise I had to go like around
Starting point is 01:01:53 Two thirds of the building if that makes sense. Okay, so I'm like, I'll I'll cut him off. You jumped into action Yeah, what's everybody else doing? I think I was by the door and I think he said someone go to go get the nurse or something So fucking kippy this guy they're talking shit about how to save somebody's life. I gotta put everybody panic I gotta put my cape on like Jackie moon Somebody hit somebody No, he was like goat and I think I was right by the door So like I go I'll go and I ran but then like I didn't Ryan go get me a cup of coffee But figure out what to do
Starting point is 01:02:24 My head on straight here. Who's got a line, huh? I've either of you administered or seen someone give someone the Heimlich maneuver No, that was a question. I think we have you ever I don't think we ever got to it was a home run Um, they came in not too long ago. Have you ever received the Heimlich? Received it. Yeah now I've had it a couple I thought I was eating real stringy bacon one time from a bodega Do you ever get like they some of the new york city of bodega's give you like the worst bacon in the world
Starting point is 01:02:56 It's oldest. It's old. It's not even cooked. I'm like, this was never straight at one point ever It's like wet paper towels. Oh, dude. It's horrible. What kind of pig did you get? Part of it's cold. You're like, how is this hot and cold at the same time, dude Bodega meat sometimes I'm like this big got a 900 on the sec Yeah, yeah, what did this pig have? I don't even fuck in. I don't even die with it anymore You can't go to a regular boat. They've all transitioned to that too All the bodega's transitioned to that just like lump of meat where they like rip off two pieces
Starting point is 01:03:27 Take that shit. You can't even chew it. No, it's either too fatty or too hard ruin your bacon egg and cheese Yeah, so I stopped doing that Is that what the teacher had you get? Yeah, no, he said the high oh I had one of the piece of that bacon stuck like half in my throat panic and half out and I was just doing this So like dangle at the top of my mouth and I could breathe and I was home alone Oh, man. Talk about your life flashing before your eyes for like three minutes. I was like The dog's looking at you. Fuck you pussy. We pulled it out finish the same way
Starting point is 01:04:04 Sam's bacon put the bacon back on it Now my my son my aunt do that to uh, my cousin we were at we were at the hungry pilgrim Which was okay. Yeah, I didn't think it was the capital grill The hungry pilgrim it was a restaurant that was in the mall to pull the meeting mall Their apple cobbler was huge. My brother got my brother found a staple in his one time. Jesus everybody ate for free Side note, we brought the staple with us No, my cut my cousin who was maybe like two or three at the time started choking on my aunt sprung into action Grabbed her held her over
Starting point is 01:04:41 Padded her on the back coughed it up fucking saved her life. Yeah It's all right. Yeah. Hmm. I had a couple of heroin addicts not out on me when I was uh doing heroin Ha ha ha Bubblegumbers couldn't handle their shit like a weekend warriors No, they were uh We probably shouldn't have let them into the restaurant. It was at devon seafood in written house square They rolled in at like 11 o'clock on a friday night. The woman was wearing a hospital gown underneath uh her like shirt And they both had hospital things
Starting point is 01:05:12 They sat down they each ordered like a four pound lobster and god love them. They ate the whole thing They tipped well, but they were nodding out during the meal They were there for a while. You know, like I'd walk by and they just Uh-huh you guys done with that and they and they and they would eat it I didn't life save them or anything like that. Yeah, they don't want the narcan. Yeah, nothing like that. Hey, who's your plug? But I wouldn't I would jump at that opportunity if somebody was hurt and then you know, I would try to help obviously
Starting point is 01:05:43 Yeah, it'd be like a real hoopla cookies in his mouth vibe with you. I'm sure maybe I mean we're leaving a football game down at the link. I don't know if it's like a temple football game or a hot I forget what it was I forget and we were walker might have been a baseball game and this guy just fucking fell out And someone's like is he a diabetic and then just started They had like one of those big lollipops that they got from like the comically big ones They were like trying to put that in his mouth and I was like, this is good. This is going south. I'm getting the fuck out of here There's always that one guy to seem like that. This is an accident and everybody gets that down
Starting point is 01:06:15 There's always one guy who sucks Who's not helping but he's like armchair quarterback in it. He's like, don't do that. You blow the gas tank They shut the fuck up, dude. Well, kind of guy has a gas tank the car We were talking about people. Oh, okay. I have a gas tank building up right now to be honest with you That's pretty um All right, this one's from a sandwich ten dollar homie haven't had one read yet Have you ever used the force to open an automatic door? I use the force
Starting point is 01:06:48 All the time and every once in a great while I just check to see if I can do If the webs will come out of my hands Okay Sometimes I try to do the force just normal like just go like that and see if I could do it anything ever work No, nothing You keep trying though. Yeah, I keep maybe one day. Yeah, just clicks in All right. I'm just doing my laundry. I sit there and try to work on my spider webs
Starting point is 01:07:13 Hey, we work on your webs. I'll do your undies. Of course you walk in you do that thing as the door's open That's what he means, right? I believe so. Yeah the Jedi force. Yeah Yeah, it's the best. I do it every time. Yeah, come on never cross my mind to do that Of course because you're not fun and you don't like science fiction. Yeah Well, I am fun and you buy shitty bacon apparently Like you've never been on the bad end of it. You bald knew what I was talking about You all went on in detail about said bacon and now I buy bad bacon. You know what unfortunately Get out of here. You didn't get that big on good bacon. All right, Tubsy
Starting point is 01:07:48 Fucking judging my bacon. Get the fuck out of here. We were a Hatfield family Right down the line. Mm-hmm. Borset has that tick cut stuff now intimidates me I go when I buy bacon now bought some the other day. I don't like the thick cut like nine bucks, but it's expand I think it's 11 in my place. Um I go with the standard. What is it like oscar mire the yellow pouch? It's all perfectly sealed It's great. There's nothing better than that a fresh thing. It's like a set of stairs A fresh thing of that on a saturday morning Maybe some some some some flapjacks being cooked up on the thing that you take out and plug in
Starting point is 01:08:28 You know, I don't know there's water coming out of your lip and I don't know wire If it's just oozing from the sore or coming from it was a bottle of water. I was drinking curse of the ous over here There's a legend of the use whatever you see Legend secret of the Thank you nerd alert. Hey, can I use the force to get toby out of here? Yeah, doing the force is awesome that um, I'll that's how I ever had Well, you know, it's a real dirtbag move when it comes to automatic doors is like opening the exit one You know, you can just open up like if you know how there's an entrance and an exit like say there's two different automatic doors
Starting point is 01:09:09 Where's an automatic door? Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking on a car I think like an emergency door like the back of the bus. How did we get the cars? I don't know man. You are somewhere else sometimes I'm thinking about the force and my jedi training Um, so yeah, you know, you're walking to what there's there's an entrance and an exit. They're both automatic doors You know, you can just open up the exit I thought you had to push the button up in the thing. No, you just you just pull it open All right my construction days you feel real. Yeah, but then they yell at you at the grocery store when you do that
Starting point is 01:09:40 Maybe this guy works here or something. What's going? How's he know about the secret door trick? That's what I think they're thinking Take me to the deli At least then here to inspect the roast beef. All right, we got to wrap it up We got to get the hell out of here. We do gang. We love you We love you as as you know, moon tower. We're gonna be there Don't make us look like bozos if you're in the tejas area. Let's go fucking hang you get to see the actual a yg show It's gonna be a good. Yeah, we haven't done it in austin yet. So it'll be it'll be a hoot we have not and for our
Starting point is 01:10:09 compatriots out there in the windy, but also it's for if you can buy tickets if you don't have a badge to moon tower But if you have a badge to moon tower, you can go as well Yes, as I was saying for our compatriots out in the windy city. We added a show In chicago Zane's old town. Yes. So late show grab some ticks. Let's fucking party. Come and see us Have some burnies do we love you Pittsburgh Detroit Buffalo. We're coming back, baby. We promise We're gonna be there in june, right? Yes fantastic. We love you. We'll see you next week

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