Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - '90s Nutrition w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Fum: https://www.tryfum.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Big news, gang. My debut half hour comedy special is gonna be available right here on the RU Garbage YouTube page, February 22nd. Yeah, gang, you're not gonna wanna miss it. Get the link, send it to your buddy. His rate, review, subscribe, comment, the whole nine yards, let's blow this thing up. Yeah!

Real quick, gang, let's talk about Mint Mobile. I don't know how much you're paying for your phone plan, but I'll tell you right now, you're paying too much. Do yourself a favor, switch to Mint Mobile, $15 a month. Yeah, you got unlimited talk tax, high-speed data for like the big man said, just 15 clams. The service is awesome and it's delivered on the nation's largest 5G network,

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and get the plan shipped straight to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage, that's mintmobile.com slash garbage. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month and get the plan shipped straight to your door for free. Go to MintMobile.com slash garbage. That's MintMobile.com slash garbage. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at MintMobile.com slash garbage. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See MintMobile for details. Now let's get to the show. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this is are you garbage oh yeah so a little show we sit there with your favorite

comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah! But they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Tate Trolley, coming at ya on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. Just found out she just opened up a couple of credit cards.

Okay. In our names. All right. Jamming us up over there. I respect the move. My co-host is coming at ya from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and the black t-shirt war continues, ladies and gentlemen.

You thought things cooled off, then it heats back up. I got a little funding. I got some offshore accounts that are keeping me fucking in black tees, baby. Kevin James Ryan, everybody, is his name. What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review on it to the full video available new short as you know those numbers are Boiling closing on 200,000 subs over there

The army of garbage Then also the greatest website of all time www.patrillion.com slash are you garbage you go over there you get up to it including to be Jillian They just bumped it up to bajillion hours worth the bonus content a lot of stuff going on over there And how about that are you garbage dot com we can get all your tickets for the true to roof door? Things cooking you ain't lying venues are selling out. We're doing some big venues We're doing a lot of theaters, which is very cool. Shout out to the army garbage love it But yeah, all tickets available. They're moving quick. So don't snooze on NBad boys.

NYC, grab your tickets for town hall. We want to sell that out. We added a second show at the Wilbur in Boston. At the Wilbur! Ship it up to Boston boys. Let's go. Fucking army garbage is strong up there. Boston in the springtime.

Anything better? Maybe. I don't know. I've never been there in the spring. Usually a winner, man, myself, so. Gang, how about a nice quick shout out to our old producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good works The ones that use the trees on the floor Uh-huh crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T bone McScruff and Toby McBowling everybody. What up boys

What a bug I sometimes when I do the intro like you're scared. I'm gonna say something weird about you Well, you know, you know, I'm gonna to take a shot at you. Well you have in the past. No in the future. Never rocking a lot of hoodies these days. Dude. I know I got my sci-fi fantasy on shout out Jerry Sue and you got your bloody madding understand one word in that shout out Jerry Sue go to Coles dude. What's wrong with you. Where do you buy your clothes anyway. It's all online. It is the internet. Skate shops and merch booths and punk rock shows. Merch booths. Oh, man.

That's rough. And let me tell you folks, I'll wear anything. If you've got a brand, send it to me. You're over there in a chicken suit next week. Check out Chicken Holiday on Route 1. We're in a pair of skims. Shout out to the good people at Cross Town mascot. Those skims are all right.

Whoo! My lady's got a cup. I don't mind putting the moves on her when those things are on her. I don't know how this is going to sound, but are the nips fake on those things? Or is that just, they're just thin? They're real. They're skin. They're real thin. Can I wear that to tighten me up a little bit?

I have to show two or three of them together. Do they have a full body suit? Because that's the one thing, because I've worn a girdle before. I don't know if I ever told you that. You were moving weight across lines? What do you do this? No, for I had a. That's when I was mulling.

Taking the grayhound from North Carolina to Brooklyn. What are you talking about? I have 12 keys on my butt. No, to like keep everything tied. I did it under the guys that I had like a, I was getting like a hernia. A hernia. Yeah, but it always just rolled down.

Man. Oh, suck. I know what I'm, I know. But it skims, she should make a full body suit for fat guys. They're really like a, like a very paper thin scuba suit and tighten everything up. I think it's just a scuba suit. Yeah, but I'm thin one.

Show what's fucking goggles in a snorkel But then you take that off if you're a dude mm-hmm you can't it's a bad look you think I mean I was always worried about people like touching me Yeah, and like they could like think I was an Android or I know someone that wore one and I hugged them and I felt it A guy or a girl guy. Oh, yeah, do I know him? I don't them and I felt it. A guy or a girl? A guy. Oh yeah. Do I know him? I don't think so. Is it me? I don't know. Do you know your best pal in the world, Kevin James Ryan? You know what I've been a real dick about? Um, pretty much everything in your life. Rude. Compliment on your sweatshirt dickhead. You made fun of him. No I did not.

Where do you buy your clothes? You literally said we're in a lot of hoodies. I thought it was a compliment casual guy like you Um What what do you got there big feller? I think it would be a peeve on my lady side. She I won't I realize I won't do you give up the remote do you have a remote at your house? I want to know what yeah, I have a how do you who's getting up to up the remote? Do you have a remote at your house? I wouldn't know what, yeah, I have a, how do you, who's getting up to change the channel? I don't even think you can change a channel

on most TVs anymore. I figured you were a watch on your laptop kind of guy. I don't picture a TV in your home, I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you, we have one. So you sit and actually watch television. Yeah. And do you flip? Yeah.

Do you ever give her the remote? Or let her have the remote? No, she doesn't really like the programs I like. Of course. That's what I'm saying. I'm a big forensic files, a lot of murder, law and order. Yeah, someone's got to die for me to have a good time. You know what I mean?

Burns been watching This Is Us, and I just can't get into it. She watches her shows when I'm gone. Like, obviously, if we're on the road, we're out of the house a lot. You watch your shows when I'm gone. We're obviously, if we're on the road, we're out of the house a lot. I like that. You watch your shows when I'm gone. We're in the studio, I'm doing spots in the city.

She's like, you're gone for four hours. I'm gonna crush my shows. She also watches a lot of German television on her computer. I don't know why that's weird. She's from Germany. They can stream it all over the world. General Hospital in Germany.

Nine! It's all free healthcare. There's no drama, because everything's free. We don't have a show right now so we're in like a really bad spot in our relationship. We don't have a show. Man that thing must be a relationship sounds like it's really built on a strong bond. You gotta have a show that you watch together so you got something to do. But we don't have one right now, but I cannot give her the remote because it'll be some like baking show

or something like that that I can't stand. Like just the sound of it drives me crazy. But I'll be laying there. She'll not be paying attention for a second. I'll be on my phone, but won't give up the remote. Drives her nuts. Yeah, yeah, so you can't do that. You gotta give that up.

If you're on your phone, you gotta... Which I do, but it's like, hey, you're watching... My wife will do it. She'll be like, you're on your computer doing whatever, like fucking... You gotta... You gotta... I mean, it's a compromise, baby. It's about power. What are you talking about? What you give her that? You're done. I love tossing the other person the remote

and saying shit like, here, you drive. Yeah, my wife is like... Never. You wanna watch a movie? I go, yeah, pick one. She's like, you, I'm like, I'm not doing this. There's too much to, I'm not, you, I'll watch whatever you want and I'll zone out. I'll hop on my phone, I'll do the computer, I'll do whatever. But like, I ain't picking.

If I'm picking, I'm picking something for me. Take a look at that walk amongst the tombstones with Liam Neeson. You ever see that? I have not. Ooh, that's a film right there young David Harbour and that the dude from Stranger Things got you oh man. It's a good piece of film right there got you some business But what are you gonna do kind of a war going on at the house with that lately? Cuz I'm on my phone like a nice time. I'm laying on the couch. I won't give it up

Are you okay? And when you're on the phone, TV's on, you're on your phone. Yeah. Audio on your phone? Oh yeah. That's, dude, you are, that is a problem with you. My couch, I'm laying on my couch. I know what you do.

I put my headphones on, you wearing your headphones in the house like an asshole? No, but you shouldn't be watching. I don't wear them on the subway, I'm not gonna wear them. Showtime, showtime, showtime. You should be doing, yeah, I mean, that's a, you're very outward with your phone.

Your phone invades anybody around you's space. When you text, hi, how you do talk to text and you scream at your phone like a pop pop. And then somebody says something and messes my shit up. When you hear me, when you hear me conducting business, everybody quiet down. No, absolutely not.

I'm trying to get it out. Absolutely. I can't type. That's your problem. Then go in the other room or learn how to type because you know what? It's laziness. You know what I do a lot of the time is the space button and the period are way too close together. So I'll type something out and then it'll be like, Hey, period. What are you doing? Period. I just think that you're being a dick to me. Hey, what are you doing? Call me Real rude. Oh man. Nothing nothing makes my skin crawl like a Tex that ends in a period I'm like, oh my god. They're so mad at me. Why what do you mean? It's a statement I don't understand any of these dumbass rules with the text message. No, you're dude if I sent you yes period

You will interpret that one way for sure. Oh, one word, sure. Or anything. No, a complete sentence. Yeah, but you also don't. I'm an old school guy. I operate in complete sentences. I don't start with prep.

No, you don't. I don't start with prep. You barely operate in English. I don't start with prep. I don't start or end in prepositions. And I don't, I don't like any. I think I feel you just learned what a preposition was in your real life. I don't really know end in prepositions. And I don't like any. I feel like you just learned what a preposition was and you're really.

I don't really know what it is. A preposition is like four. A prepositional phrase is like four. For the time being is a preposition. I believe so. Right. Ah, really. You're really making me.

Toby. A word governing and usually preceding a noun or pronoun and expressing a relationship to another word or element in the clause as in the man on The platform she arrived after dinner. Yeah, what did you do it for? What the hell was that so you shouldn't start and sentences like that? I don't think we're qualified to be talking about this if I'm being being 100% English. The English language? How's it goddamn English major? What are you talking about? You failed out.

I changed majors. It's different. Yeah, to Dirtbag. Dirtbag 101, man. No, it was hotel restaurant management. If I'm being honest, I'm most. You were working at a Chili's. I mostly just read the Google confidently.

And then have no idea what I'm saying. What if we're talking prepositional places here? Pretty good. Anyway, that's either here or there. We're here for a family episode, dude. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Yeah.

As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, there you get a question right on the air with the Kipster. Got a little computer out doing his little thing. Also, somebody I saw a really good comment that was said, I got $50. I said said that's Kibby doesn't have a Mac book. It's just an HP with an Apple sticker on it And yes, I've seen the comments I don't need that much blue tape, but I also don't trust the government that much you were a

You were a PC guy for a long time weren't you with your laptops? When did you get the when did you become the laptop guy in this operation? When it just became me and you. I had... When we were in the car, doing heart feelings? Yeah, that was not a Mac. That was like a $200 Lenovo I bought. Yeah, it was like it was the cheapest

Lea Mono Lebozo I remember I'm not even I'm not even fucking around. I remember one time. I was like man I'm really gonna I'm really I did I bought a desktop in like two in like 2019 or whatever I bought it I bought like a Dell desktop for like a hundred and nineteen bucks And I bought a desk and I set it up in my room and I was like, I'm gonna edit on the, do that thing.

I don't even think that thing ever fully turned on, man. Oh, you're writing a theme doing your final. Oh man, it was. Did you have to do a thesis at college? Did you have a thesis to graduate? No, like I'm working on my thesis. I think that's like, I think that's MBA stuff. I think that's graduate stuff. He's working on his thesis. I think that's like I think that's MBA stuff. I think that's graduate stuff

He's working on his thesis. I think it's an NBA NBA NBA masters and business Agricultural no Stop stop. I don't know what it means Matt. I do masters Business administration no because if you have your MBA outside of business, I believe wait. Don't I don't say it I think I could be masters MBA outside of business, I believe. Wait, don't on, don't say it. I think. I could be wrong.

Masters. Botulism. Masters. Barry Bonds. Is it masters business? Do you want me to speak now? No. Just give me a nod if I'm right.

Is it masters? Yes, it's masters. So fun having the life jacket and not throwing it to you. Come on. Masters. Masters of business administration. There you go. I see, there you go. I thought you could have your MBA. It's so fun having the life jacket and not throwing it to you. Come on. Masters. Masters of Business Administration. There you go.

I see. There you go. I thought you could have your MBA. Idiot. Why was I an idiot? I was- She got a Dell. I was working on my thesis.

I told you I had an Epson Epic back in college. Sounds like a guitar. What were you shredding? And you had to put three floppy disks in to get it working. And I was behind the times then. Sure. This was 95. Sure.

We got it. We got it. I brought it from the house. My dad's. I even brought the little wooden desk at that they got with it. Yeah. But this, so I was never a Mac.

I was anti-Mac. That was like rich guy shit. I didn't understand it. All like the rich girls had those colorful Macs. Oh those bubble ones? The bubbles with the blue or the green. You had a Mac. You were the head of the operation

for a long time with that Mac. For a minute. I was editing everything on iMovie. In Philly, yeah. I could really move with that thing. Plus I recorded a couple of tracks on there in the garage band. Recently unearthed. And then I had the Lenovo,

when we started Heart Feelings, I had it, and it was taking me, we were doing the Zoom recordings, and I was stuck down the shore. It was taking me like, I'm not even joking, like 18 hours to export the video. And my wife's like, this isn't gonna work. Ah man, you were real jammed up with technology for a long time when you took the reins.

Oh, man. We had no money. Everything was crashing left and right. And he would call my do my computer would be shaking, sizzling, like trying to export a video. And we'd have to record. And you're like, did you check your Wi-Fi? Cookin' beans on there.

I think stunk. I would leave for like the weekend, and I'd come back, and it'd be like 50% done. It's like a sidewalk in Arizona. Oh, man. Fried an egg on that. Dude, it was to the point where you'd have to rate. If this was on, if my computer at the time was on the table,

you would have, and you were watching TV, you'd have to turn the volume up to drown out the fucking weed whacker that was cooking in the kitchen. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz one you could get and I kept having delete. I just had enough storage I think. Toby would, I don't know, I only had enough space, that's what I call it, technical term, for one episode. So I had to like delete all the apps and all the desktop icons in order to edit an episode. So it was literally only one program and one file. That's all I could do. Plus your lime wire files. Get them in there. Beaky, peaky. I tried to give my nephew my,

Porn? My, no, my, Sorry, I don't know why I went there. My original. You're talking lime wire. I get all hot and heavy. My original, the mic kit that I got there in the pandemic. Remember we ordered our mic kits to do our zoos.

Man, I told him, we were trying to step up the production of AYG at the time and everybody's like screaming at laptops and stuff like that. So I was like, we have to do it too. Do you remember it was a $14 mic stand and I remember the phone call you giving me, breaking my balls saying that you had to spend

the 14 bucks on it. I said, you're like, this is 15 dollars. I had that set up like a Jenga dude, like trying to get the angle on the mic or the computer, whatever it was. The good old days. Good old days, baby. Then you get a T-Bone and he figures all this stuff out for you. Hey, screw it up from time to time.

What do you got over? That's a custom job, isn't it? That thing? Oh yeah. We spent a whole lot of money on a thing to Google. We spent way too much money on that thing. Oh, yeah, we spent a whole We spent way too much money on that thing that was for the live stream we had to buy that thing Remember oh, yeah, yeah, man. We've made some domes choice. It's got a cool color though. It does it lights blue in the back I don't know if you knew that That's the chemicals leaking out of it. It's the rate on coming out at top speed

It's breaking the sound barrier getting us. Ken, let's talk about them true classics. Love a little TC. 3XL. Big man's in it wearing it all the time. Man, say goodbye to those old crappy t-shirts that I were buying before. I know.

Somewhere else. These feel great. They thick grade on the arms. Man, they're soft. They wash great. Love me a true classic. And they even got more than tees, they got athletic wear, as we said, they got jeans, they got outerwear and more. Really? They got everything, they're a top-notch company here, they go, hey we're killing it in a tee game, why not spread the love to everything

else? Might be a true classic summer for the big man. They're tighter in the arms and chest, I feel like an ex-colle college athlete when I wear it you know what I mean it feels like you just did like a bunch of bench presses I don't know who came up with that smart yeah hey buddy who needs the gym throwing a true classic that's what I'm saying so if you're ready to upgrade your closet shop with our exclusive link at true classiccom slash garbage and save up to 25, holy hot she, 25% up your first order. That's nice.

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on the air over there. And we got a lot of homies questions we gotta get to. This one is egregious, but I love the name. This one's from Kippy and those other Johns. $10 garbage man here, never have one read. Is it garbage if you go to your friend's house for dinner in elementary school and when the meal is over, you watch his mom take the unfinished milk out of the drinking cups and pour it back into the milk

John oh my god Rob think I just drank someone else's milk because you for sure did that she did that the day before you know what I mean That's I have a root listen as disgusting as I am Oh, I have a real problem I couldn't eat Cheerios for like three years because I remember when I was in maybe first grade, I was, my cousin slept over and we were having breakfast

and he was eating a bowl of Cheerios and he had a little drop of milk right here. Oh, that'll ruin it for life. Skiiiiived me. And I was a dirty little kid. I was sticking fingers everywhere. Sure. But that was it. Couldn't go near it. kid. I was sticking fingers everywhere. Sure. But that was it.

Couldn't go near it. No. I would lose it. That's, I would, I would just think, what did you cook, you cooked this in the bay, I could just say, the whole cleanliness of the prep preparedness of that meal goes into question if that's what you're doing in public. Catch a Lucky Charms marshmallow. See a spaghetti? Oh, dude. Freak out.

Does anybody want a piece of gum to scrape it off the bottom of the table? This dessert? Get the viennet out, touch me. Man, as gross as I am, when you went to a friend's house and they did it really nice for dinner, that was all right. But yeah, that was I was definitely I was like a food critic judging

Yeah, I dropped the fork and a new one didn't appear in nine seconds. Oh, you were getting docked points Yeah, I was in there with that was a good I was in there with a clipboard because sometimes you go over to like your friend's house on like the cups would smell weird I always smell those plastic cups in the 90s man man. You catch a hanger on one of them. Sometimes they smell great, but if it smelled like spaghetti sauce or something like that, nah. Um... You gotta put a lot of sugar in that iced tea. Sure. Uh, I remember one time I was at a- I was at a pizza place, like a family, you know, suburban pizza place family restaurant that we've talked about a lot.

Uh, I've actually ended up working there for a few years afterwards. Sure. But I'm sitting there eating pasta, like butter noodles probably out of a bowl. And I get to the bottom of the bowl and there was dried tuna fish on the bottom of the bowl that had made it through the washing. So it was like cooked it on there, dude.

And I remember- Call the board of health. Shut this place down. I started crying, dude. I was devastated. I caused a scene down. I started crying, dude. I was devastated. I caused a scene in that back party room, dude. Fat little bastard. It was...

Eight years old still sitting in a high chair. That was probably older than that. You strapped in. Yeah, no, it was not good. Yeah, that's Ski-Ve City. But then you would go to your friend's house. I would have to stop being friends. I could never look at the parents the same and listen I get every family recycling milk every family

Yeah, those people's having they siphon gas to you just get power listen. I understand you're on a budget I'm just I get that you cannot be doing that man listen listen listen listen listen here I know every family has their- Half coffee creamers in there. They're just pouring them real. Which I've done before. I've used that international delight to my cereal. Like vanilla, like what's a carnation or- Yeah, international delight, whatever. It ain't bad.

I could see you in a kitchen just in your underwear. Oh. Rippin' open packet by packet. Dude, that thing goin'. Mixin' it up. But like each each family has obviously each family has their own specific weird idiosyncras I said if I came over your house and you got I'm like that's weird that they do that and that's fine But it's like you know You're stepping over the line pouring milk like just don't do it when the company's there. You know what I mean like

Or put the milk off to the side like like son, everybody knows you should be doing that. It's not like you just do this one thing weird. Like that's top down. The structure of that family is rocked. Yeah, and milk is held in a different, I mean, that's like plutonium. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, it's gotta be handled with care. Is that skim milk?

No, it's 2%, 2% for Tuesday, 2% for Wednesday. You're a kid. Mixing milks. I hate it skim milk. Yeah, we've hated it. My mom would get it every now and then. Maybe when she was watching her figure or whatever. It's all a skim.

It's all sugar. You get the whole stuff, the good stuff, but the milk fat. We were always at 2% at the house. 2% of my mom's whole milk on my dad's heavy bike. Gentlemen. Oh, I was my stepmom was pushing that. I like that. Shake it up, it's like a milkshake.

That was a dad thing too, he would shake up the milk before he drink. I shake up everything that I drink except for soda always. Okay. Shake up the orange juice. Sure. Shake up the milk. Uh, dude, I remember one time I, uh.

Shake the champagne when we win the title. You know what I mean? I was thinking, No. I'm sorry, I'm trying to be in the middle of fucking something. And I remember being at like the gym as like a young kid or something.

Okay. Not a young kid, whatever, 13, 14, something like that. I don't know, I just had this thought the other day of what we used to think was good for you, I remember drinking like, I had taken with me, like the carton of orange juice, I was drinking that, like, to refresh after my fucking like 20 minutes on the bike or whatever. I was like, dude, I'm getting fucking jacked over.

Triple pulp. Oh dude, and I'm looking back, I'm like, that was like a month's worth of sugar. Sure. That I had in like 35 minutes After I don't know probably seven minutes of cardio. I can mulch through a thing of tropic Can I had to get off it? Oh Dude the company my old company I worked that just had it in their fridge And I do that would go get that sugar after like my 15th cup of coffee. I'd go and just start sitting there

So just start crushing it out of a coffee cup. Man, it's like a thing of Tropicana and like a bagel with cream cheese. Talk about heartburn. City, dude. Burning. 20 minutes later. I've never used that.

So good, though. Drinking it before bed and then wondering why I had fucking heartburn in the middle of that. Quite having horrible nightmares. Like a sugar monster, get me. Alright, let's see, this one's from Josh E.D. Never have one read, is it garbage to put saltine crackers and shredded cheese in the microwave and call it nachos?

I'd have to try it. I gotta be honest with you, you're at the ha- I don't hate that, that's alright. I don't know if I'd put it in the microwave, but definitely a slice of that craft singly on a, on a, on a, on a, uh... Why not in the microwave? It melts the cheese, changes the texture.

I feel like the salt team would lose its crunch. Yeah, I like a crunch. I don't think there's any water in there for that thing to, there's no moisture in there for that thing to change. I would melt the cheese and then do a little dippy-whippy. I would do this in a heartbeat. I did that. I mean, I used to cook the toast,

I used to make the,. I used to take craft singles on tostitos. Put that in the microwave. Oh, sure. Yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah, a little salsa? That didn't change. No, no salsa. I wasn't that adventurous yet.

Wash it down with a slim face. But you were probably not wrong. I was back in those days. Bangin'. Man, that cheese would get so hard too. Like, eatin' a slim fast. But you were probably not wrong. I was back in those days, banging. Man, that cheese would get so hard too. I was like eating a potato chip. Like the cheese would, like that. Man, I'm like, dude, I'm like right over in the 90s,

really changed. Really had its own, you couldn't take a temperature on it. You know, it used to shut me down real quick if I went for the cheese and had a little, it dried on the end. You didn't like that? Oh, I just for the cheese and had a little dried on the end. You didn't like that. Oh, I just I just I just throughout it. I just throughout cheese.

If it was like if it was like a chunk of El Vida or something like that, and there was an exposed end that didn't have the space suit all the way around. No way. Yeah, like a Russian cosmonaut floating in space. Getting his eyes sucked down. Man, I wouldn't go near that shit no cutting it off. No nothing get out of here with that crap I just had that my wife had cheese in the fridge like some sharp something and I was like I knew it was there

I'm like all right. I have a little cheese and cracker like pepperoni Look like a toenail at the end of it They had athletes foot fungi to hold mine. Yes. This thing needed like a toenail at the end of it. They had athlete's foot, fungi to hold mine. Yes, this thing needed lamasil, dude. Some tenacthen on that, would you? It was rough. Yeah, it ruined my night. My dad would just crush through that.

Like it was nothing. Breaking through the front lines. I remember my mom like, rip the mold off the corner of the bread. I was like, hey, don't you get back to Super Fresh and get me straightened out with a loaf of King Truman over here. I ain't eating that, no.

Who do you, Louis Pasteur? I eat it with Benji. Yeah, never. We would never do that. That you can't do. What? You can't do the eat around the mold. You can't.

It gets all in there. Even though you don't see it, it's in the molecular structure of the bread. You can't. It gets all in there. Even though you don't see it, it's in the molecular structure of the bread. I don't know. I mean, you can taste it. I remember one time I got real scared of mold for like a couple of weeks. Amen.

In junior high, when we learned that apparently they attribute to a lot of the witches in the Salem witch trial. They're going to burn me at the stake, mama. Oh, dude. So one of the theories was they were eating moldy bread and it got in their sinus cavity and started growing in there.

Like they inhaled it or something and it started growing in there. So their noses would look like witches? No, but that could be. That's a, I mean, I don't think they look like, I mean, I think that's an artist rendering that that be that's a guy. I mean, I don't think they look that I think that's an artist rendered rendering But that's what witches look like but and it made them go great like psychosis or whatever like made them hallucinate and stuff like that Like it grew, you know

Crossed their teas and Donna crossed their eyes and dotted their teas They got all the lines are crossed and they started freaking out. I'm today I learned that the day like I went to make right toast in my, like rye bread, like toast in the morning, and it was all moldy. I'd been in there for like fucking, seems like three weeks. Dude, and I inhaled it, and then I learned about it that day, and I was like, ah, dude, it's just,

I just got bit by the bat, like it just got me. Get the villagers. Oh, I don't remember being real tense for a couple of weeks to find out if I turned into a witch. I don't like any of that stuff, like all that Puritan stuff, all that, I didn't like any of that stuff like all that Puritan stuff all that I didn't like any of that, but I'll tell you what I would have been on board with the burden of the witches man Cooker let's get out of here. I don't like that shit at all dude. I remember they were

Which is scare the shit out of me. Oh, yeah That's for the Wizard of Oz it dude like I mean like proper scarred me What the hell are you putting that shit on for? Nine years old, nervous kid. Give me a cup of coffee and put that on and leave me in the living room by myself. I could picture that lady outside my window every night that I went to sleep riding that bike looking in. You're getting burned. You're getting chicks burned alive for shooting you down for the dance. Must be a witch, huh? Be careful with her.

No, nothing. But they started acting crazy like that, running around the town square with their hair all undone. I think a lot of those charges we found out were real trumped up. She was just like, hey, why don't we not do that? And they're like, get her. It was very... They were really controlling the narrative back then.

Oh, was that a moldy sandwich? It was like four 15-year-olds talking shit. Yeah, and they just ran with it. But I do remember they were like, they would throw, and guys too, they got some dudes mixed in there too. They would throw them in the river. And if they were to find out if they were really wish they would rise from the water but if they weren't they would sink and drown. Whoops. I remember you like, oh they did find they did find they

did run a good experiment. They found out what they were looking for. Yeah. Um. I would have saw how bad would it have sucked to have lived back then. You wouldn't know anything different though. That's I don't know anything different, though. That's the thing. I don't know. Those dumbass fucking hats and shit like that. Those leggings. Oh, I remember this British.

They probably. Woo! This British kid. This British kid moved to our home, moved to my elementary school. Who was the pilgrim? He had big shoes. Like, he was British.

So it was like, he might as well have been a pilgrim to Austin. A bunch of little skate rats at fucking eight years old this kid's where wouldn't you Sam this big he was as tall as the day is long this kid Sam big goofy motherfucker he showed up with buckled shoe I'm like you ain't got no laces on my face but was your bowling shoes I don, they were like, I imagine like a Doc Martin type. That was like in the 90s, I guess his parents bought them. There were probably. Buckles?

Yeah. Like with like a belt? What do you mean? No, it was like, yeah, like there was a buckle. I don't know what this kid was doing. That's got copper in all over it. He was big. Man, talk about the false accusations,

like the Salem witch trials and all that stuff. Second, a new kid came to school. Cop, cop, cop. You couldn't shake it, man. I remember this with this new kid, eighth grade, ninth grade. That's when they get you. That's when they come in. Nah, he moved in.

And within three days, this really hot girl had a crush on him. And she was like, nobody could get to her. Like her defenses were up and she started dating this kid within three days. I was like, God damn, I gotta move schools. I gotta go in and get a fresh start somewhere. You know what I mean? I got a bad rap over here.

I'll never forget Sam, dude. That was fun. He showed up. He had like a sweater vest and stuff and we were like, you might as well be from another fucking planet dude Go get a Notre Dame hoodie. Let's fucking hang You don't eat the game cops, bro This one's just funny this is from killer arcade games new $10 bozo

Are you garbage if your phone number shows up as spam risk when you call people? Man you are. Potential spam. Nope. Jammed up if that's happening. That's what it says when Foley calls me, but it's mostly lunch meat oriented. Just spam logo pops up.

Love spam. Yes. Guys, I got a little taste when you get over to the island. Couple moosa bees um All right, let's see here. This one's from Jake Jones $10 homie first time what up ever has ever tell someone your company laid a bunch of people off when in reality It was just you You gotta control the narrative dude 100% yeah downsizing. Yeah They got me.

I used to do that in the restaurants all the time. It would clearly be my fault. I've only been fired a couple of times in my life. OK. Probably maybe two or three. And they were all political hit jobs. But it was always in the restaurants, a new GM comes in and cleans house.

Yeah, which I get. Top that. You got to start from the top., you gotta cut the bad branches out. And you know, I love you, but you ain't a great branch to have on the team. Yeah, I remember one time that Philly had this job and this new GM came in and she didn't like my one boy that worked there and like she sort of the ship

brought him down in the office and he came up and she's like, she just fired me. And'm like man you believe that you fired him that's crazy that's what came up to like that. I talked to you as well. What? Because you're real sympathetic. Are you losing? Good luck running this place without me. No one ever knows you were gone. Never. Never. I've mentioned that before,

but I used to think I worked at company and I was the most, I was like, I'm doing all the way, I'm the most. Waiters get, the servers get that complex a lot. Everybody, I think everybody does. It's the end of the line. Yeah, and you're gonna go and in three days and be like, who was that big head bald guy?

Like, no one knows and it don't matter. Plenty of orange juice left. Thank God. All right, let's see this one's from Peppery Beehull. Shout out to you. Okay. Is it garbage of sneak snacks into church service? More specifically, a container of potato salad

and a half pound of chicken tendies from a local deli. And yes, a plastic fork and packets of ranch were included in this. That's crazy. Was it a monster truck show? Yeah. Potato salad? In church?

Potato salad outside the home, unless you're at a barbecue place or at a cookout, is a wild look. Yeah. Or maybe your car. I'll give you if you're eating in your car in secluded. Potato salad in the car? Well, if you go to a deli, if you get lunch and it comes at a half a pound of potato, or not half a pound,

but like a whatever a potato salad. Have you ever been a get your lunch really out in yourself there? Have you ever gotten your lunch at a grocery store? Oh, yeah, you have oh Yes, never occurred to me really now weird when I worked at the law firm in a I don't even know that they made Sandwich sandwiches back there You know you could go to like a that you could go to a counter. It depends on what they got Yeah, but yeah, yeah, yeah if you go to like a proper grocery store and go to the deli counter where you would normally just get like a pound of Turkey pound of this pound of that whatever scoop a potato salad scoop of seafood salad you can say hey

Can I have a sandwich they'd make you a sandwich? Yeah, probably never occur. I mean, I've never done that. I would always hit the hot bar or like the prepared food that they had a lot of time I move most of the time at a grocery store was they had like pre made bags of chicken tenders and potato wedges shout out to I think it was like a shop right in white planes or where did I work before love a new Rochelle. Be going to grocery stores up there?

Yeah, it was right next to the office. I'd walk to like the shop right and it'd be like $6.99 for like, I'm making this up a pound a chair, like four or five chicken tenders. Yeah, so it'd be like a white deli bag rolled up, cranked with the sticker on it, $6.99. And then like I'd buy a half if I was flush with cash

that week, if I just got paid. Some wedgies. I'd spring for the wedgies and a 20 ounce Coca-Cola. And I'd sit out in the, I'd sit out in the parking garage and eat it and then catch my heaters. I would walk out the door, boom, spark a heater. Lunch break, I got a 30 minute lunch break.

Out the door, spark a heater. Probably on the walk got a 30 minute lunch break. Out the door, spark a heater. Probably on the walk. I used to like to walk and catch heaters. Now I don't. I'm a static, I'm a standstill heater man. Boom, liked the sig, walked the block, blocking a half to the whatever, flicked my sig as I'm walking into the parking garage.

Real class act. Was in slow motion too. Hit the cart guy in the head. I'd drip over a parking garage. Real class act. Was in slow motion too. Hit the car guy in the head. I'd trip over a parking block. You get kills on that if you want. Go in by that. Go stand on a ledge.

Not stand on a ledge. Lean on a ledge. I used to eat in public. Stand on a ledge. Think about jumping. Side not to. Open up my wedges. Decide not to.

Jumping off the loading dock. Ah! Y'all! Twist the ankle. Crush that. Open up my wedges, decide not to. Chop it off the loading dock. Ha ha ha. Ah! Ha ha ha ha. Y'all, twist them ankle. Crush that, and then probably two more heaters, and back in. Yeah, you would do a lot of public eating. You don't have choices, man. Sure.

You're just, I didn't have money to go sit in somewhere. Nice restaurant. Yeah, I'm not fucking, you know, getting a table of Manetta Tavern for lunch. Potato wedges can be real hit or miss. I'll tell you that. They're usually hit, I feel. Yeah, I'm not fucking you know getting a table of Manetta Tavern for lunch potato wedges can be real hit or miss I'll tell you they're usually hit I feel oh yeah usually miss where you getting wedges that miss I've had I've had grocery store wedges That's the only place I really know of them They got to be like the not beer batter, but that I got a little something on them that like orange crust on them

Royal farms does them real nice which mold I dumped it on them. That like orange crust on them. Royal Farms does them real nice. Some witch mold. Yeah. Hey, I'll roll the dice. I'll roll the dice again and burn it, the burned alive. Witch mold.

What? Church wise. Christmas and Easter. You're not allowed to, I mean by the wall of the church, you're not allowed to eat in church. You're not allowed to eat like an hour before you take the sacrament. Not macaroni salad.

Wipe and ranch off your face when I turn you in cheek, huh? Laughing at the homily and shit. It did that last week. But isn't that the, what is the rule? You're not allowed to eat before, I was always, at least I was under the impression I'll not eat before or after the sacrament.

Two things always happen when I got in a church, no matter what my condition was before I walked in. I would get unbelievably tired, I would get unbelievably tired and I would get unbelievably hungry and just want something. Usually it was some tic-tacs or some mints and patties purse or in a pinch I'd do a cough drop. I'd chew a couple cough drops.

Oh yeah, if you get a pissing. Get my head on straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was always good for a breast savers or something like that because it was early in the morning. You know, and they would make us go before breakfast. We'd go, we'd go Sunday mass at like nine o'clock,

then go back and EGOR would hit the, would break out the cast iron skillet, start doing up something nice, starving. I had the very opposite of that. You do, oh, I'd be asleep. I wouldn't be able to get me out of the car. We'd hit Wawa on the way to church It was me and my there was a handful of years when my dad started going when my first younger brother was born

My dad, you know turning the ship around. I'm getting back going back going back I know that you knew he was fighting some demons because he always stood in the back And if he sat it was in the last row like those guys are fighting their own back. They are they're not up there They're not up there playing along. They're like I'm here. I got some fucking shit going. Yeah I'm trying to sort out my dad would do that all the time too. My dad also would never take communion Hey, my dad never took a minute. Yeah, I would go they'd like we would go and he might dad be like alright I'll beat you out in the car and by the time I got I took communion got outside He was already waiting for me by the thing with a heater. Oh, you never stayed if

My mom would make us stay my dad never did but kneel that one last time I never did I feel it. You never kneeled you have to kneel before you take communion. I We stood in the back My mom gets a pew. My dad would stand back there, but it would always be you had the feeling it was like, man, he must have done some bad shit. He won't take communion. Yeah, my dad, no, yeah. Because he felt like it was, he didn't deserve it or something. They grew up, that generation grew up very, they did go to Catholic school probably, and they were like very church oriented, grew up with of fucking guilt so they fire and you're not you're supposed to be absolved of your sins before you take it yeah which I was not an em not when I do

take it carry right carry demon walking to that place fucking door doorway lights on fire table for four eating the cracker go hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hotating the cracker, going, hot, hot. Hotter than a $3 pistol. What do you got, chahouli on this? What's it called? Chalula. Chalula. Chalouli. Chalouli. Stuff's good.

But here, I just looked it up. Dakota of Canon Law states a person who is to receive the most holy Eucharist as to abstain for at least one hour before holy communion from any food or drink except for water and medicine. I thought you weren't allowed to eat after, too. I don't know. A couple of certs saying you're gonna kill anybody.

I was crushing a wawa, sizzly on the way there. We stopped a dentist. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I brought your teeth a half hour before. But on Christmas and Easter especially, Easter you wake up, you get the basket, alright, maybe you should throw a quiche at you or something like that, little breakfast, then you head over to Mass. I had a pocket full of candy. Pocket full of candy.

Sure. And at Christmas, man, those Hershey kisses, I don't know if they make them fresh or what? Our Hershey kiss around Christmas time. You like a Hershey kiss who don't We I don't even mind the unfoiling take your time with those things Love it, but potato salad that's crazy. Yeah, you could you should have been I mean yes I got a piece of gum You know for the kids if you got like a cracker to shut them up They can sit there and all on that or whatever.

And if you did that at St. Helena's, man, the old school guys that used to go around collecting the thing that wreaked the cologne and the sportscoats, they'd pummel you out of there. They were like bouncers, like pit bosses. I've always remember, I remember them counting that money. I'd walk by there, they'd all be in a little room, dumping, fuck, I don't care, they gotta be 10,

it's like that fucking cage at a casino yeah that's where the rubber hits the road that's where that's where everybody starts they're skimming the skim to I think this guy here everybody's wet and that's good for me yeah that's that that's that's when you found out what was really going on whacking that up and then in some like like first grade classroom sit at the little seats, ripping heaters and coffee and stuff like that, getting that going. Uh-huh.

I was trying to explain the concept of CCD to my wife recently. OK. Which as you go, what? What's CCD? Here we go. So it's for the Catholic kids that don't go to Catholic school from burning the hell for the Catholic kids that don't go to Catholic school

You gotta gotta gotta go to Catholic education. It's Catholic education So it's usually once a week Sundays Mondays Tuesdays at the Catholic school a lot of times after their out because you had things you had to do at certain ages like Like you wanted to be part of the church and second second or third usually second grade you had to do at certain ages. If you wanted to be part of the church, and second or third, usually second grade, you have to do your reconciliation. So you have to get baptized, then reconciliation where you confess your sins for the first time.

Go to a right yourself out. And you have to confess your sins. I remember making stuff up. I'm like, yeah, I stole from my mom. Oh yeah, why are you cheating? A lot of that kind of stuff. I'm having an affair with a neighbor. I cheated at cards the other day.

Bada, you get it. You have to confess your sins in order to get a... To be able to receive Holy Communion. To be able to receive the wafer, right? The cracker and... The body of Christ. And spread, you can get them on Amazon. Man, I might keep up.

The lights start flickering. A burden you have to stake after this. Throw me in the East River. Mr. Mouldy knows over here. So you have to, if you want to stay part of the Catholic Church, you have to hit these goal, you have to hit these checkpoints. And if you don't go to Catholic school, you got to do it at night. It's like night school.

It's like you're like ex-con. You're going back to get your Catholic GD is what you're doing He's told you about this it'd be like a Tuesday at six over at the church. Oh In there with the in there with the bottom tears, but then do you remember? I Remember so is in sixth grade you receive your confirmation and that's when most people were done checked out because you're like there's no the next thing is your marriage is the next sacrament wait never ever but I'll be here I'll be here for 48 years dude hey doc there you know talent I'm gonna find a nice broad and these holes you know what I mean spike up a mixer or something like that way that's invite St. Anne's over here so do you

remember the kids that would have to go after sixth grade, though? That's when it got like, they put them all in one class. It would be like, it would be like, it's like a night's tempter. Dude, it would be like, it's crusades. It's like, yeah, what are you trying to be the Pope? Dude, relax. It ain't that serious. You know, it's all a, it's all a fagazy facade anyway.

So it would be like an 18 year old, a 13 year old, a 21 year old. I'm like, dude, they were like ex, I remember walking by that room. Your parents were cheating, dude. They were looking to get rid of you for a couple hours. Cause it was all by grade. So like all the second graders were together,

all the third graders, fourth graders, fifth graders. And like as you hit these checkpoints. And it was a pretty good time. You goofing around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They have no real, it's not like school We're gonna get thrown out like this. Like you like dick around if you got caught It's like whatever it wasn't you weren't getting like suspended or anything

But confirmation it got serious a little bit But I remember walking by that class like fucking, you know outlaws or just bozo. I'm like, what are you doing dude? Go you're 18 you can you can fucking go to war your your parents are making you sit here is an AA meeting. Yeah. Real that lights flickering and shit. Yeah. Real she's real whack vibes.

I told you this though my my CCD teacher for confirmation that year. She's like I don't want to say traumatized but man you should because she did a little bit. Yeah. She told me that if I didn't say an active contrition every night before I went to bed and I died when I'd sleep I would go to hell. At that point I was that was the same at that point. I don't work my way up that was all misdemeanors. You know what I mean? I ain't done anything real bad that that dude I went to bed every

night and said that and that kept me up at night and scared the crap out of me and she didn't paint hell as a real nice place. You know it wasn't like a you know, Senesta or anything like that. It was rough and she got real into it too. You think it's hot whatever these people are twisted man and In there scaring kids. That's their job. She'd show those old. Freak you out so they can get your hands on your cash. Yeah.

She'd show them old medieval paintings. You ever see those old medieval paintings depicting of hell? Oh, yikes. What are those bozos? Like a Giants game. Man, you're a hack. Well, you got a parking lot at the meadowlands, am I right folks? I would have gone raiders, but we'll allow it.

Alright, let's see how this one's from Patrick. Patrick, aka Baskin-Rombs. Shout out to... There he is. Baskin-Rombs. Listen, guys, I know we plug the Patreon a lot. If you're not on the Patreon, you do yourself a favor and go check out the TNT Amusement's episode. Woo! It does not disappoint and the homies will let... It's one of our masterpieces.

Little slice of childhood right there. Uh, shout out to Baskin-Rombs. Uh, $10 homie never had one read. Are you garbage if you get in a fight with a sixth grader on your first day of kindergarten? And when I was coming up we only went to kindergarten for half a day. So this guy's making action quick. This guy's there for three hours he's fighting the big street in like jail yeah he's hitting the biggest guy on the playground

smashing some kid in the face with a lunch tray where's Tony right here thing so you're the tough guy huh I knew was running your mouth it roll of pennies in your hand uh yeah that's yeah I mean you ever do that what you ever you ever have to show your worth out there? Duke them up? I got beat up. I got hit one time. I might have mentioned I got hit one time by a fifth grader.

I was in first grade. Fifth grader hit me because I was running my trap like I do. Sure. Like I've been known to do you, Fed. I was like, hey, hit me. I didn't think he was going to hit me any fucking. I think he punched me in the chest or something. I would imagine Danny Ryan didn't probably take too kindly to that.

Then Danny Ryan and my neighbor tuned him and his boy up at CCB later that night, caught him in a hallway in my old tussle. They fucking, yeah, they beat him up. Well, it's like, you know, just getting into a fight and then going straight into the confessional booth like it's a penalty box. I just beat Timmy Zays. Finer, he had it coming. You got a brother, don't you, Finer?

Yeah, Danny and my neighbor beat up a tune, whatever, scrapped with him and his boy. It was nothing better than that. But it's like, I'm a big, you know, listen, you run your mouth, you get hit, that's gonna happen. That happens, you run your mouth, you get hit, that's gonna happen, you know, I just, we, you know, that happens. You run your mouth, you get hit, whether you're at a bar, whether it's school, like that's just, that's gonna happen.

And, but there is a line, like you shouldn't hit a fucking first grader if you're in fifth grade. That's crazy. That's like, borderline child abuse, you know what I mean? We haven't deal with that old. So it's like, I am in that, like then yeah, then you get beat up by someone older and bigger than you. Street justice.

That's playground justice, baby. That's how it's done. We used our bus stop was like kindergarten through, I think I was in fourth grade at the time, but all the middle school kids, when this is when we live in a town line down there outside of, on the outskirts of Bluebell, when we first moved down to Bluebell.

And yeah, the sixth and seventh graders would rough us up pretty bad. And there was nowhere to run. You were on a highway. Yeah, you were by due to school bus stop. Not a parent, no, this is before parents would wait and watch and let you get on the bus. Uh-uh.

Do you ever play the game? We played a lot. 6th, 7th grade. You got those summer days. Nothing to do. The day seems like it's an eternity. Of course. You know what I mean?

You check your watch. It's 12, 15 in the afternoon. You're like, I've been out for 14 hours already. We're at a watch. I don't know. Shark watch. Sophisticated gentleman. Cell phone, I guess, at that point. I don't know shark watch sophisticated gentlemen cell phone

I guess at that point we all that's when that's the year we started getting cell phone How old are you seventh grade maybe really? Junior high seventh eighth grade that's one like You had one for someone on the squad had one for emergencies probably six seven no not six seventh seventh eighth maybe Now when I was banging baby, you were on your own no air support coming to get you. Yeah you were done so. And we would fake beat people up on the side of the road. Did you ever do that. We would be on the side of the so it would be like me Pat

flip Vinny with the skinny and my boy Deli we'd all like like Vinny would be on the ground and everybody be leaning over top of him. That's a good bit right there. But you had to do it somewhere where you could, like they couldn't just, you couldn't do it in someone's front yard because they're gonna get you. So you had to do it like,

On a bridge. On the side of like the back of a, on the back of a. Hanging out a balcony window. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You got suckin' mother. Where's the money? You guys wanna play Shug-Night? You had to play it like behind someone's house on a main, that backed up to a main road. Yeah, yeah. So you could scoot off into the neighborhood and be gone. So some hero could stop by. Yeah, dude. And dude, people were Do that next time we're on the road. Ha ha ha ha.

We're on the side of I-87, beating up, kicking you. Beating up cat daddy. All right, let's see. From now, this is also a very childhood one. Matthew Hernandez. Have you ever gone to school in a new pair of pants and forgotten to remove the side sticker on the pant leg

only to have a classmate pointed out? Man Yeah, I've done that. I feel like they used to put 50 of them on there Yeah, now it's really down the one maybe two But I remember back in the day be like this leg that leg the pocket would have like a I would get caught in the board Back of the thigh. I'll forget about that wave. So saw that you're a 48 30 Extra extra extra, extra large. Woo! A pair of tough skins. Yeah.

Sucked. That was always... Pants like a $40 pizza. Dude. Extra, extra large. Brutal, man. Also, dude, that was big the first week of school when everybody's wearing new gear. You're someone's getting popped every day for that.

And a lot of times you take it off and the mark's still there. Still there. Yeah. They know you're a fat ass. Ha ha ha. I was thinking, I remember I had a pair of jeans. My favorite pair of jeans ever, I was probably, some, I was probably sixth grade.

They were called Badge or The Badge, do you remember them? Badge jeans, they were carpenter. Man, they were real thick. But dude, they had like, oh man, I remember these things. I put these things on for the first time. You couldn't tell me the perfect amount of baggy back in the day, the perfect amount of cool. Woo, could have told me nothing.

Get my pair. I remember my dad was like, you gotta watch them things. He's even rocking them for like, even rocking them since, you gotta watch them things. He's even rocking them for like, he's been rocking those, you know, September, dude. All right, let's see here. This one's from Ashley. Is it garbage? This is a, this is more of a debate.

Is it garbage to check your teeth in selfie mode on your phone while you're on a dinner date? I think it's fine. It's not a, it's fine. You know, you can't, you know, it doesn't, the definition's not enough. I need a mirror. No, I mean, it's fine, but it's not a, it's fine. You know, you can't, you know, it doesn't, the definition's not enough. I need a mirror. No, I mean, it's enough.

You can, it's for sure enough to get a quick ocular assessment of the. It's a pretty big piece of spinach. No, I think you can get there, at least get some. Do you have lipstick or something like that? Ah, that's not bad. Are women really still doing their lipstick

at the table like that? I feel like that was like a 90s, I was like a 90s trope, I feel. Or just pop up, but like, yeah, that's not bad. Are women really still doing their lipstick at the table like that? I feel like that was like a 90s I was like a 90s trope I feel or just pop up. But like yeah, that's not crazy You're like I'm trying to do something that's you know, what happens. It's not like check you look I check my look before before we start with the phone sure. I'm doing yeah, no, I think that's fair I wouldn't be weirded out if a woman did that on a date. I'm like, yeah, you're taking care of yourself. Sure. Yeah glassy broad I'd be more concerned to start taking pictures of me.

Yeah. But? You take the silverware out of your purse. I ain't had a nice jank. Just throw it out of here. All right, this one's for me, Harris. Is it garbage or someone to automatically put salt on every meal before they've even tasted it?

I thought that was a dad move. And I never understood, or I didn't ever think about taste at first. I just thought that was like- Always put salt and pepper on. Like not an anxiety thing, but like that's just how you like it. Yeah, man, the dad's would make it look so good.

A little salt and pepper, get that pepper on there. You're very well documented saying that. Man. You also do the thing where you say dads, but it's just your dad Yeah, I think a lot of dads do it dad set their meal up nice uncles to yeah, man Yeah, I see what you're saying. He's a lot of your evidence is primarily based on your dad I don't think I've ever seen a lady use salt and pepper sprinkle salt and pepper from my childhood

I mean you didn't have to bring sexism into this. Is that crazy? I don't know. I don't ever see you. I don't ever see my mom put pepper on it. I'm surprised you- Your mom is for sure put pepper on something. Maybe not. She's a kooky bird. Who knows? Definitely not the pepper grinder. She thought you had to pay for that for a long time. She did. She thought we had to pay for that. Yeah, that and the Parmesan cheese.

Unless it was on the table, when they started with that thing, nah, wasn't, now we're fine. I'm not, that's how they get you here. I was always told you were gonna insult the chef. I should manage some French guy with a big hat with a big knife watching me fucking eat. You know, like, gonna come stab me if I had anything to it.

Some community college student back there, he didn't give a shit. I had a buddy that put salt on pizza. Heavy, right away. Just fucking. Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh. We were nine, 10, 11, 12. I would only.

Salt on pizza at the pizza place. I would only do that when I was real hungry. Like when we were like living off dollar slices down in the village, you knew I was really hungry if I went over to the condiment thing. And you load up. Hit it with everything. The parm, the oregano, the village. You knew I was really hungry if I went over to the condiment thing. And you load up. Hit it with everything. The parm, the oregano, the pepper, garlic salt.

I was always, I had to take a look at that because some of the, especially at the end of the night. Skivies. But you got homeless people putting their fingers in there and stuff. I had to get a good, you had to go to a reputable place, shout out to Percy's. No, I think, no, Percy's still banging.

It's a $2 slice though. Doesn't matter. Could be five, no person still bang. It's a $2 slice though. Doesn't matter Five yeah, great slice. Love me some Percy's on Bleaker Street Laker McDougal. It's it was a dollar slide was an elevated dollar slice and got us through many lean years That in a screaming cherry coke But they always run a tight ship, but also the hot sauce on a dollar slice. I love that good temperature hot sauce that's coming out of the big squirt bottle. There's no like weird shaking.

You go, I would do one and one, one with one not treat myself a little bit. Yeah, I had to be real hungry with that. What kind of hot sauce is that? That's just something. It's all the same. I feel like it's all the same. Just cheap generic wholesale hot sauce. Oh, that comes in a jug that says hot sauce is that? That's just something, I feel like it's all the same just cheap generic wholesale hot sauce.

Oh, that comes in a jug that says hot sauce. Yay. Cause it wasn't Tabasco's hot sauce. It's always too thick for Tabasco. Yeah, and it's not Frank's. No. It's like Jim's. Yeah.

It's a version of Frank's. It's like that style. Cisco. Probably Cisco. Yeah, man. I love that. I ain't talking about the hit maker. You also feel like a bit of a chef,

like you're finishing all, like you're presenting, you know what I mean? Making your slice up nice. Plating it real nice. Let me get a little swirl of mashed potatoes on the side. You know what blew my mind the first time I saw this? It was some old, it was a guy who used to day bartend at Martell's, shout out to Mikey Ryan.

He was an old ex-cop, and he worked a day shift. But when he would have his meal, like his shift meal, he'd do it nice. He was the first guy I ever saw take the pepper, the pepper shaker, and instead of going like that, he would go over top of it and just lightly loosen up the cap and do it that way and sprinkle it out from the side. Because you got a little, you got it.

It was a little more, you weren't sitting there going like that. It was more gentlemanly. He would open it up and do it that day. I was like, wow. That's sharp. I remember the first time I saw someone do the hand, like the salt in the hand.

I went, whoa. What are we watching? What are we, weight watchers here? So you know how much you got. Yeah, that's all right too. Clacy operation here. All right, let's alright. Oh, I see Clacy operation here I let's see. Let's do a couple of more this one's from dirty Mike trash or pro move shout out the dirty Mike and the boys Love it

I used to valet at a nice hotel a guy would come in regularly with a breathalyzer to start his car He'd get bombed at the rooftop bar then try to convince the valets to start his car for him We never did and he always Ubered home. Respectable move on your part, your good guy dirty Mike. You get jammed up to it and they got to kill somebody. Yeah, it's also like they turn back on quite frequently. They gotta continue to blow in them

every like seven minutes or something like that. It'll stop the car. Yes. Like on the highway? Yeah, it'll say like, you know, it'll be like beep beep beep like pull out like We're shutting down whatever the thing is it shuts down and like you have 30 seconds to pull over and was there somebody monitoring that or was it all Computerized computerized. Okay. It wasn't somebody in like a control booth somewhere. No, just say like watching your car I'm sure they know but they know where it is. Yeah now they put cameras in as well Oh, yeah, that makes total sense for that reason sure, man, you know the best the

One of the so my buddy had one shout out to you know, my buddy had one for learning to mention any names yeah for a long time and It was nuts But yeah, it was very frequent you had to do it like you know We had to do when you started the car and then every, you know, let's call it seven, eight, or it was just maybe randomized of like, I could have to do it in seven minutes.

I could have to do it three times in four minutes or like whatever it was. That technology seems crazy to me that they have that. It's crazy expensive, dude. I know, but if we can do that, if we can do that, what are they holding out on us? We gotta have like, phaser guns and stuff like that. I don't know.

What's nuts about it? That it can register what chemicals? It's a breathalyzer. So you just need the breathalyzer to talk to the car. That doesn't seem that crazy to me. It seems crazy to me. Seems like a lot. You have an iPhone in your hand.

It was shut down the car. I didn't say it wasn't impressive. The iPhone's not impressive. I'm just saying that's in the iPhones. Breathalyzer been around a lot longer than iPhones. Not breathalyzers in the car. That's I mean, that's the 90s in the 90s. Didn't they? I don't think so. I think that's 2000 stuff. Toby. My boy had one in probably 2007.

had one in probably 2007. What do you got? No, probably. Yeah. 2008 2009. 1931. What? Wait, there wasn't even cars back then. The first stable breathalyzer for out of lab use was developed in 1931. What they have hooked up to horses and nuts or something like that. Okay, squeezes. Talking to a cow just blowing blow into this for me. Do you know what the original name for breathalyzer was? What? The Drunko Meter.

That's something you want the high score on, folks. Step right up, folks. Step right up. The Drunko Meter. That's great. That sounds like something on the Wildwood Boardwalk. What it wins, and he brys, and he sighs. Drunko Meter. Of course they did have that on the Wildwood Boardwalk. Didn't they ever fries any size? Drunko meter.

Of course they did have that on a Wildwood Boardwalk. I think that's just called the Wildwood Boardwalk and we're being honest with you. But man that'd be funny. Um yeah they're actually very dangerous. So then he had one. Breathalizers? Yeah if you're partying with them. Dangerous. Yeah because you're trying everybody's trying out.

Oh of course of course of course. So like he had one. Who's partying with that? We did. You never partied with Toby have you ever partied with a breathalyzer? Uh, no always wanted to. Seems like a great time. It's the best time dude.

So you only have one shot at it or maybe two and you have to blow for a certain length. It's gotta be like. And then it'll beep so you can't, like there's all these like systems. So, and I think you only get one shot at it. So he had like one that he bought like online or whatever to test himself in the morning to make sure he wasn't, you know, fucking blowing over the limit.

So that thing would come out at the bar. Man, we were losing days at the rich bro pub but just like it I remember Papua like a point three was like something nuts and he just disappeared into the night like see you later man good luck God speed get out on a high note you know what I mean you fucking talking about crowd control win the chip you dip yeah the interlock or that's what he had the interlocks are so expensive or as we call it the blow and go Is that really their other name? Oh, that's just what we call it. Okay, uh

Night the early 80s 83 yeah, what is it 30 no 83 81 83. That makes sense. That's real early for me. That's still crazy That's shuttles were still blowing up in the middle of the sky. You had one of those things? Yeah. Crazy. I know it's a racket too. I remember he was complaining

it was like $1,200, $1,200 bucks to get installed and then you gotta take it there to calibrate it once a week and that's $400 bucks. And he's just like, dude, you gotta do it. The best way, obviously I wouldn't recommend this and I think now the safety, the measures of the cameras

and stuff of how you're doing it are so strict at this point, but they said put a trash bag out the window, fill it up with air, and then squeeze that into the thing. That'll be telling people that. It's online. Lay off the booze. Like a volcano vaporizer? Yes, exactly.

But then it's also like. Didn't have to tell you twice, scumbag, did he? Here, you already got a little pet name for it. Third ball. All right, we got to wrap it up, gang. Gang, I'm going to tell you right now, we love you to death. Grab some tickets, rugarpage.com. Come see the live show. Come see the boys. It's a good, good time. We love you, and we'll see you to death. Grab some tickets, rugarpage.com. Come see the live show.

Come see the boys. It's a good, good time. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace!