Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Above Ground Pool Party! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at http://warbyparker.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Factor: Head to Factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50% off. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/garbage! Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Sure about that? That little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece, trash, trash, drag. I'm your host, Ait's Rolly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new addition.

She just became a Freemason. Okay. So the kickbacks are going to be rolling in. All right. Find out who killed Kennedy and all that kind of stuff. Sure, that's great. She's in. That's awesome. Libby, Hunt.

All those guys. My ghost is coming out from across the tables. We call a family episode, if you're new to the program. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He's a good pal of mine, my best friend in the whole world. I love him. King of the Boards, King of the Burbs. He's about to king of everything right now.

Not much, actually. I've been lying about those two things. I'm being honest with you. Kevin Ryan. Thanks, buddy. I love you too. Shout out to everybody for tuning in. As you know, please rate review, subscribe on iTunes.

Full video available on YouTube. Full video valuable over there on Spotify, and the boys are, do you, I'm in the freaking charts. We're in the world of charts. We're there. We're there.

Top 5,000. You know, gold records or nothing like that. Top 5,000 podcasts in the tri-state area is not a bad, not a bad category to be in. Should we open up a Wawa or something? Uh-huh. Cutting the ribbon. What'd be cool to have a gold record?

Why can't we have gold records anymore? We got a plaque. That plaques, all right. What? A gold record? Platinum plaques, dog. No one calls them gold records anymore. silver.

Spray paint. Diesel gets some fucking get some spray. What do you mean nobody calls them gold records anymore? They're plaques. Platinum plaques, that's what they say. You're old school. You and that fucking, that jive you're talking over there. That ain't my kind of rock and roll.

And Kanye West. I don't like it. Runaways a great song. Very introspective. Uh-huh. You know, especially for a dirt bag like me. Yeah. You know?

Mm-hmm. Really speaks to you. Does a little bit. Be honest with you. Toaster the ass. You're sitting, raising your fucking raising your monster energy drink. I have been drinking a lot of energy drinks. Yeah.

Energy drinks. Whoa. Elthianine and heaters, which I'm trying to get off. Yeah. And I've been hitting a vapor once in a while. That's good. Nicotine vape. Oh, God, we've lost them.

Blueberry mint. Is that bad? If I get off the heater, is it the big one? No, I'm not blowing chimneys. chimneys, blowing it is. Blowing clouds. You really think I'm going through a mid-life crisis, don't you? I mean, I don't think so.

Didn't we go over on... Fuck you. We went over on Patreon like the seven top... Not red flag, the seven top indicators. And you were... You're clicking a couple of them. Just saying. And it's odd that you...

You're very much my father after his second divorce. That's all I'm saying. All I have to say that is low-key, period. Like, wait. No cap. Look over your fucking... Remember you're in a big fucking blueberry cloud? I am going to Coachella next year.

That's weird. Yeah. I've listened to a lot of Noah Khan. Is that strange? That kid moves goddamn tank. You ain't lying. Oh. But goddamn Patreon.

Check out Patreon.com if you haven't already. A lot of fun going on over friggin' there. Go to a picture and you find out how bad things really are. That's where we give you the real feel. This is like the, you know, this is the glitz, the glam. This is showbiz over there. I'm doing great. Uh-huh.

Fuck out of here. That bullshit. Uh-huh. Family's not really talking. Whose? Not yours. Most families aren't talking to you if I'm being honest with you. Why?

Trouble in paradise down there? Huh? You heard me? I don't know. Uh-huh. You know. I got, I got. Patty's my only friend.

She's all I got. Just came through it a big way for me. Oh, that's not good. Whatever that is, is not good. If your mom's coming for you in a big way at 50. Wait, that's my mom, officer. She's going, the drugs are mine. You're an officer.

I'm undercover right now. And you're going to blow this whole operation. You know when I told that homeless guy that I was a cop? Yeah. Yeah. To get him off our corner? Uh-huh. Our corner.

He was. He was on our corner. Yeah, for sure. You're not wrong. That was a very cool thing. You've done a lot of, you've done a good, amount of cool things. You've done a good amount of not also cool things.

Oh, man. Trying to be cool. But. Talk to me. That being said, as, I'm also, I didn't get to tell you. We're going through a, there's a death in the extended family. Really? And it is.

I think I'll say it waspness. No. You're obsessed with wasp. You know that? I get you. I'm just in the summertime now. Uh-huh Go by a pile of

I had to move a fucking table The other day I'd have been sitting there for I don't know how long It was a folding table And I was just waiting for him To come get me Just open that up

And fucking right in your face Man really living that rock star lifestyle You are Yeah I'm living the ground too You don't see him come Get a barrow I don't like that I had a call

We had it in the yard In the burbs I know you Dup gas burned it out Didn't you? What'd you use Nathan? No some guy came And tried to do something

That didn't work And I went I just rated, I said, let's go. Double-sided. It brings me to, um... A couple of fucking A-1 Skyhawks in there, fucking drop some nape on them.

As you know, uh, I got, I got the pool at the, at the house. Yeah, you got a pool. Um, I don't know what. You got a $300. You roll your eyes at that. You got a $300 Walmart pool in the middle of your thing, chewing up your grass and making your neighbors all upset. That's what this is about.

I'm not. I got a pool. I'm not. Your mother has a pool. Maybe that's, maybe she gave it to you. That's how she came through in a big way. Hey, you know what? That's yours.

That's all going to be mine in a couple of years anyway. That's all. You act like it's like fucking half of Africa. Well, that's all going to be mine. I'm working on and having her commit it right. That's all good. It's all you got to chop it out with your brother. Huh?

And he's got a family, so he probably gets the lion's share. Yeah, I'm getting screwed on it. Sure. Is that how she's doing it? He handles the books, too. He's probably siphoning cash. That's what I would be doing. That's what I have not been doing here at all.

Yeah, I deserve it, too. Wait. By your brother? We're both of these. Yeah. Goes a lot of trouble. That'd be quite rude to them. Called you both to go bald, you know.

I get it. Never, obviously. But the pool. Yeah, so I got a little temperature update from both neighbor. I, you know, I threw this, you know, a nice part of town. I'm out of. Have you spoken publicly about the pool? No.

Okay. I mean on Patreon. Yeah. Maybe throw a picture up, let the bozos. I mean, see what we're dead. When we say pool. It's a pool. It's a $2.28 pool for Walmart.

You see. How many gallons that hold? 3,000. 3,000 gallons of water. Upwards of 3,000. Whoa. It's lopsided at the moment. You really see, I got about a 3-inch slope going.

It's leaking out the one side and 3 inches short. Whatever. My Aunt Mary Catherine's pool was sliding down the hill at Wilkesbury. It was frightening to go into. Yeah, that would freak me out. It was on a hill. Like on a serious hill. I've seen those kind of things.

Yeah. I'm not. It was always green and murky. That's where I thought Jaws lived was in that pool when I was a kid. They put me in there and there was this huge tree that was over it. Tree must have been like 400 feet high. It was a monster. Seemed like that was a kid.

And there was no sunlight that hit the pool directly. Where is this fucking Codiac, Alaska? What are you talking about? A 400 foot tree? A mountain. Big tree. And no sunlight. Yeah.

It was a tree. Sounds like a hell of a time to take a dip. The tree covered it over. World's worst swim. Uh-huh. And it was freezing in there. They put you in there in the middle of August. You fucking be shivering.

Yeah. But so I took a new temperature check now that the pools up. Falling apart. It's lops. It's slaying it a little bit. Whatever. It's a temporary pool. We're in a goddamn fucking heat wave.

One neighbor. older gentleman was like, I love the pool. Ah, this is great. He goes, I think he's a fan of the show. He's going to be in there. He goes. He's icing down his joints. He's a good guy.

He's like, out of pool's great. We, you know, this, that, you know, great, great. He goes, you know, when you take it down, he goes, you and Foley should jump in there and see if you can both part. Like, he mentioned me? Yeah, he's a fan. He's seen us live. No shit. Yeah, he's a good shit.

Oh, that's awesome. This guy's, holy, holy shit. This guy sounds all right. I think he was a fan. referring to you having a weight problem. Oh, see, I fully, I think it was both of us type thing.

You guys should get in there and... Well, we should cut it and slide through. Maybe they do chicken fights or something. Yeah, we should cut it and slide through. She should drive the loom through it. Drive that loom through somewhere. Good junk. But the other neighbor, very nice guy.

Great family. It's the guy with the nice joint. He got a nice joint, meticulous yard. Guy does all right. It does all right. Great. And he's more of what the name was. Like you, he's more of what the neighborhood is versus me putting up to $2.28 pool in the back.

Oh, I get that vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Hey, fucking Gary Buffante hair. What do you do? Um, that thing's got a puff to it. You're like Vinny with the skinny's dad. Dude, that's crazy. I got a good haircut.

Mm-hmm. I got it. I got a- When was that? A couple years ago. Hey, you. When I was in Cleveland, I got a fucking, I got the hookup. This guy feathered it. Did it really nice?

I don't know what to tell you, man. It was popping. Okay. Popping right now. That's great. This guy goes, you go, yeah, how's the pool? I go good. You know, we had the kids over.

We got a knee staying with us. It's good for the heat wave. He goes, yeah, well, if you need a pool to go to, we have guest passes to our country club. And I was like, oh, I am out of my element here. That is. That was a very much like, and Iverspelled just like, if you need it,

maybe I'm reading into it for sure. But it was like, you know, we got. You and the Roman are showing up. We got, we're doing all right. You don't need these, you know, these gypsy travelers coming in and fucking. Also, what's that look like? Hey, it's,

they're not like bathing in there or anything, are they? What? I get that. I'll dip in there and not maybe not show. Do you have a clothes line out back? Are you doing that yet? No. Okay.

You're cooking anything back there? No you mean you're cooking a couple of things. You are. At the grill. I had the pizza on that last night. You don't have like a like a like a like a coldron of anything going out there, do you? That's in the basement. Everybody knows you keep it.

You're not doing any taxidermy out there in the backyard. No, we're not that. But it's, I'm really. You got any jerky hanging? Don't lie to me. You got a smoke house back there? Outhouse? Shit house, thomp house.

I'm really starting to show my ass in the, I'm getting comfortable now. I've been there a couple years ago. I can fucking. You're the guy with the piece of shit car in the front yard. Some weeds. I got to get a fall clean. I got to get a summer cleanup in there. You haven't done that yet?

No. Listen, there's a certain responsibility that goes and being a homeowner. Uh-huh. Aren't I on your lease at the moment? Huh? You really don't fucking. Funny you mentioned me. Don't stop.

Well, how am I going to get you to co-sign an apartment for me if the goddamn place is falling apart? They go and check that shit. You're fucking on my money now. I can't have that shit. No, you fucked up your money. That's why you need a co-signant. You got to clean that goddamn yard up I'm trying man

But also I am who I am I fucking keeping up with the Joneses Keeping up with the Kippies King of the Burbs Coming in this fall This guy's not happy He's not no I think he was also I was just saying yeah it's been nice

And I think he was like well if you ever want it We got it just Go down here Does that extend to me too These guest passes I'm sure you'll find the way Hey listen Kubeball lives next door I handle a lot of his day-to-day business

Heard you're upset about the pool, so am I. Best thing to do, let me get into this country club of yours and see what's what. I do a lot of, I do a lot of sniffing things out for Mr. Ryan's business. Was it a country club? Just a swim club. No, a country club. Really? Yeah.

Hmm. Let's discuss more off there. I love a country club. I just like to lunch there. I've only been to one once, and I worked at one when I was a kid. I worked at a country club. I went and had a, my friend of Laura took me there to have a luncheon. crab cakes.

I actually ate their second time with my sister-in-law. Wow. Not with the whole family, not just my son. Yeah, clarifying that doesn't make it weirder for some reason. Nobody assumed it was just. Even if it was just you too, that's not weird. It's your sister-in-law. It was when we met their family from my brother and her dating.

Oh, man, how bad were you sweating? Fucking shirt-button, dirty shirt-brun. I don't know why I was there. Should I have been there? Yeah, the family's meat. But I was single at the time It was just me So wearing my dad's jacket

Yeah Wait what Yeah no The family's meat Yeah for sure That's what they do Hey everybody comes over You come over you meet everybody

Wouldn't it be weird if you weren't there And everybody else in the family was there And they go isn't there someone else But shouldn't that be the couple Their parents Yeah the couple and their parents Not the siblings What do you mean?

Yeah She's going to be your sister sister-in-law. Oh, she is, my son. I know, but at the time she's going to be. Yeah, everybody meets. You're not a big social butterfly, are you? Lately, I have been.

It's hanging out. That's very true. That's great. Doing my thing. All that said, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you're joining the old Patreon, we'll read your garbage question and the friggin' air. Speaking of, do we touch on this a bit? This is from drugs in a Tony.

Great name. I love it. $10 bite and sipper, never have one read. This is fresh on my mind since I just did this moments ago. Is it garbage a drink your energy drink out of a coffee mug while in a business meeting in order to look more professional? I tell you what, you throw anything in a coffee mug. You're looking good. Throw anything in a toadies mug.

You're looking even better. That's RUGarvage.com. Is that just water or is that coffee? What? Is that water or coffee? It's coffee. Is it? Uh-huh.

Yeah. I like drinking a soda out of a coffee with ice in it. They're just not big. I get that. I get that giveaway, though. Sure. Sometimes you just want to sip. And I never just want, I'm never a wet my whistle with soda guy.

Really? I need all or nothing. Huh. Yeah. I do the big mason jars at home. I got a big mason jar. That's like, that's probably like maybe 20 something ounces. That cheese steak, big order of French fries going to.

You've been hitting the cheese steaks hard, dog. Uh-huh. It's a summer of Kippee. You know what you want for me? Best summer ever. Get your blood work done? Check up the cholesterol on that stuff? Yeah.

What's that? We'll be back at 11. Yeah, it's not great. I'm fine. It's your LDL. What? Really? I don't know.

I'm okay. It's the same problem I had two years ago when I got my three years ago. They don't want to put you on nothing? A little statin? I'm still waiting to talk. Nah, they said exercise. They said lifestyle can change it. It's just that.

Did they recommend the cheese steaks? I'm just curious. I'm intermittent fasting. Three cheese steaks from 12. noon. And 28 ounces of diet cook. It's very nice. There's something trashy out of a two liter too.

Even though I'm drinking one right now, I know it's crazy. I'm leaning more towards the energy drink than ever. At night I'm having it. You know what I mean? Because I'm not boozing. So like if I'm out. Dude, that's every recovery guy. Sucks.

Every dude, every guy I grew up with who has been in an hour. out of recovery. You know, you can tell how they're doing. By the time of day, they'll crack a Red Bull and have a heater. If they're doing Red Bull in Newport, you for sure are in a program. You just got out of a halfway house. Fucking relapse warning. Beep, beep.

Coming in on the TV like a fucking, like a tornado. Yeah, that's a big one. The Red Bull and a heater. The other night I made a mixed drink with it. I put a little lemonade in a Red Bull in a solo cup. I put it down I was like it's too close to the sun Yeah

There's something about holding the Red Bull can In the same hand as the heater Is a is a Oh it's the best But I respect that Listen you're a dirtbag But you're keeping up appearances That's what the show is fucking all about

Because you can't fucking roll into a business meeting And fucking crack open a fucking monster white But isn't there something like Man this guy you got to This guy plays by his own rules There's something to that in corporate culture, a bunch of squares, you come in, fucking cut off, cutoff t-shirt, paraslacks. That guy gets fired. I don't know.

He's probably not top dog on a totem pole. That's why. If you're top dog, you can roll with a candidate code can be a big shot. Yeah, but how do you become top dog? You let these motherfuckers know you're here for business. Okay. That's what I would say. I once was interviewing somebody for a job back when I worked a really shitty job and I had to hire canvassers to go door to door.

This guy, this guy dropped three F-bombs in the interview. And I went, you got Moxie. The job's yours. Yeah, but you stink. What are you talking about? I did. And you stunk then. I know.

I remember being in an Argyz. Yeah, I don't fucking know, Kevin. You know, you get a lot of fucking jerkoffs in here. Probably tell you what you want to hear. He's going, who to fuck hired you? I had an Argyle sweater on that I thought I was like Johnny Cool guy. V-neck with a white, with a white collar, like a white tee under it. Wait, was it a v-n-n-that?

Was it a sweater vest? No. Sweeter v. sleeves were too long because I had to get a wider body. You know what I mean? Argyle and Paisley hit hard for my generation. A Paisley tie. Ooh, he's slipping off their seats.

Argyle socks. I still rock Argyll socks sometimes with my sneakers. I like the way, I like the way dress socks feel. and I like the way gym socks look. You know what I'm saying? You're a complicated guy, you know that, Hank? You don't like a pair of dress socks

with a pair of sneakers? I'm too, my feet are too blown out anymore. I need a good support. Thin socks. No, I need even that extra layer of sock. Otherwise my... They sweat through, though. They're a bad.

But, man, they feel good when you first put them on. I need a gold toe. A gold? Gold toe socks. Is that a thing? Yeah. Really? Who does them?

Gold Toe I believe is the brand No shit I think so I always thought that was Just a coincidence That they were gold I've seen them

Okay This isn't a competition You're lying like a guy He's never seen I've seen them I'm talking about seeing a movie Yeah No yeah

The Gold Toe With the guy with the floor In that Star Wars with the dog Yeah I know what they did Dustin Hoffman in Star Wars Gold Toe's a brand right

Probably you knocked off left and right. Oh, yeah. Because I know I ain't got no... Chinese probably are fucking... You can't stop them. Man, that's Chinese. I love a knockoff, don't they? Mm-hmm.

Killing it. Yeah. I used to work over here at 59th in Park. I know. Just to pick you up there. I used to pick me up. It used to hang out front smoking cigarettes away from me. So we could split a pizza.

You never let me in the building either. It's not my building. I could have come up and said, hey? No, you couldn't. So I thought I was wanting to a Elaine's job. I could have walked in there. Could have got to know some people. The secretary talking to me.

I get a job there. You're no Jerry. Okay. Whatever. I was not weird when he went to Mr. Pitts House. That was very weird for me. It's a house. Office, sure.

Showed up there. Popped in. So did Kramer. It's fucking nuts. Uh-huh. I'm going to throw them out. The dogs on them. But you want to come into my place or work.

What am I supposed to say when you come here? You're sitting in the lobby? Is there a lobby? I could have sat in a lobby and read a magazine and waited for you. I'm just waiting for somebody. Who? Kevin. What business do you have with Kevin?

Business. He's going to go sign. We got an open mic later. We got to get down to the village and barked tourist into a show. Well, the way the business that we run operates, he keeps the heaters and I bum them off. I have the lighter, so we have to be together to enjoy them. Separation. Listen, honey, why don't you just keep typing?

and tell Mr. Ryan that Dr. Foley is here. Now, where's all this orange juice I heard about? Orange juice as far as the eye can see. Kibby, Warby, Warby, Warby, Plaka. Warby Parker has been a lifesaver to me. Now, as you know, I'm a contacts and eyeglasses, man. I go to the other joints, as you know, it's hassle this, it's hassled at. They don't got the right size.

They don't got the right styles. You end up walking out to looking like you're teaching third grade math. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but in the 1970s, you look at Gobozo. Yeah, young cool guy like you need a little style. A little style. Dude, you go over the website, you do the virtual try them on. All right, contacts, eyeglass. Whatever we need for Boreb Parker.

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That's Warby Parker.com slash garbage. 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com slash garbage. Let's do it. Kevin's talking about Factor. Factor. Now listen, it's the summertime. You got a lot going on. You're trying to keep that beach bod going a little bit.

What are you going to do? Late night pizza's fat ass. What are you going to do? Huh? You're going to do factor. I know. Two minutes, microwave. Bang.

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This whole thing. They help you in many different ways. So head to FactorMeals.com slash Garbage 50 off and use code Garbage 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until 92726. See website for more details. Do it. All right, let's see here. This one's from Kippie's classmate to horse. That's a deep cut.

Is it garbage a comment on the gas price while you're on vacation? Dang, it's 40 cents cheaper here than back home. That's all my mother does. That's all they do. You reach a certain age. And it's like... Cheaper at Wawa. Always. I'll get it at Wawa.

Look at their gas. You ever see them catch diesel by actually? accident? Holy shit, it's $7. It's diesel, ma. You're not a fucking truck driver, so relax. Yeah, that's a big, that was always a big thing, the price of gas. Price of gas.

And I remember the big threshold was when it crossed a dollar. That was... Really? Yeah, I remember. You remember when gas was under a dollar? Yeah, it was probably... Look at the timeline on that. It was probably...

I was driving. That's funny, because I... So it was probably 2000... Probably 2000. 2001 maybe really yeah it was under a dollar i believe so i believe i remember the one when it was at a dollar 29 and everybody was minds were blown i feel like i remember a gas always being like two bucks what do you got 1996 on average it was a dollar 15 so i'm sure maybe i'm thinking maybe i'm then thinking 190 not maybe to 2 like it was on it was always a dollar something

maybe you're thinking of the price of mcflurries what's a barrel selling for today it's a barrel McFerre trading for. On the Hong Kong market. Hit me up. All right. Let's see. This one's from Caleb. Never have one read.

$10 Foley Fanatic. Let's go. Thanks, pal. I appreciate the support. Is it garbage? I need it. Please hit me up for, I have some sage financial. I love you too, buddy.

I have an investment opportunity for you. Please hit me up at 1,800 bug man. We should buy that. Ooh, there you go. Never have one read. Garbage if your ex-girlfriend's family never has a drink with their meal, not even water. First dinner over there we had pork chops. I was parched.

That's something I got to wash down. What the fuck are you talking about? That's crazy. I'll sometimes sit down with the, like, I'll hold off on the soda. If I'm really hungry, I'll hold off and take that first step before I break the seal because I know I'm going to crush it. Hmm. But to not have, that's, that's crazy. Imagine going over somebody's house

Also this guy's like not even water Like like water's I know but water's so He's not wrong but like You know at that point he's like I'll take anything He even got water back there Water for dinner as a kid I'm not eating I don't fuck you

I don't do that now Get the fuck out of here It always sparkly I gotta do a LaCroo or something Someone a little fucking kick to it I'd hate those nights my mind Like you're just drinking water Fuck

That's never happened in my household But here's the thing You get that smell on the glass because, you know, I'm mixing and match it. You know, I'm a, you know, I'm a, you know, I'm a, you know, I also see your floaters too in a way in a water. You get that oil slick on top, especially from a pork chop. That's a juicy. That's got some fucking oils to it.

Yeah, dude, I can't fucking have that. Then you go to smell and it smells like fish or something. Mm-hmm. The water would, you know, the bacteria in your mouth, fucking gross. Yeah. Plus water back in the day stunk. It really did. It wasn't good.

Yeah. I know, you're not, I mean, listen, I didn't. Fucking freezer ice cubes that smoked like coleslaw. Get the fuck out of you. Get the crystal lighter. I'm fucking leaving. This might be a hard take. I can feel you really fucking pushing back on this.

Me? I never like drinking out of the plastic cups. Such as? Just anything real. Are you like a cuppy? What do you know? What do you mean? What's a cupy?

What do you, what? What's a cupy? Like a sippy cup? No. What's a cupy? Like a cup. Tell me. Tell me right now.

You know, you can see it in your head. You got one envisioned in your head. What's a cupy? You don't know what a cupy is? With the handles on it that can't spill? Yeah. The little Kipparino just got one. No.

A cup is like a cup for... A cup. Like a plastic cup that like maybe something from... Like the movies or something. Yeah, like a novelty cup that's like worn away a little bit. Yeah. You don't call that a cup? You don't have a favorite cup?

I thought we talked about this years ago and built the show on it. I like listen yes a cupy you know like an old McDonald's cup or something like that I would I think I'd probably call it a cup yeah uh called cupy mm-hmm call cupy um I don't we had these big flyers cups I get the plastic cups and I get I get the taste of detergent in there it sticks around I don't but like there's just smell the smell of there's just there's just there's just It's just something messy about it. The floaters, it just, the stain.

I don't know. What? Yeah. Who the fuck are you, man? Maybe I'm just thinking now, maybe I did like it as a kid. You got your Mason jar. I'll give you that. Yeah.

So you're using something trashy. Yeah, for sure. I also, you want to know real trashy, I've cleaned paint brushes in said Mason jar. There you go? A little bit of pain on the outside of it. I still use it. That's not bad for you, is it? No.

Okay. Be a pussy. Check with Dr. Foley. You got on a cascade in you. You're fine. I know, right? Is that what you use? Nah, since the broad, we're doing seventh generation, which ain't bad.

It scratches the itch, but it ain't no case key. I use that in the shower. I'm out. Use that to exfoliate a little bit. Somebody asked the question. Do you ever use shampoo as body wash or something? I was like, I was like, buddy. What?

I mean, that's, that smells better. That's entry-level shit. I'll use, dude, I'd use Dawn as. He jerked off with conditioner before. Yeah, what are you 11? Who ain't fucking done it? Keeps the pubs nice and smooth, too. The worst cup to drink out of, by far,

and I hate to say it, is the pine class. That's crazy to me. A pine class with a soda in it, it stinks. It's never good. Luke, you with me? You just shit on me a couple weeks ago for having that take. Wait, you didn't like it either? No, because the pine glass doesn't give you enough.

And it's... With the ice. It's something... So what do you want? I'll tell you right now. The pint glass is over. Huh? You just said you like a coffee mug full of soda.

You don't like a pint glass? I don't like a pint glass anymore. I'm just over to them. What does that even mean? I'm just over pint glass. And what don't you like about it? I don't like the shape. I don't like the way...

All right. Let's wrap these cameras up. Let's wrap these cameras up. I don't like them. I came here. I don't want to fight today. I don't want to fight today. I don't want to fight today.

So then what's the alternative? There's different cups out there. there now. Like what? The difference. I'd rather have a fuck. I'd rather drink soda out of a stella chalice, which those are great. You put a glass of milk in one of those? My girl just kind of got those. What, stella glasses? I mean, you're a kind of, yeah. Stone cold dickhead. Why?

Yeah, stella glass. We go out to breakfast, right? Me and you, we go out to breakfast a lot together. Yeah? Right? I don't like the fucking pint glasses. So what do you want, what do you want a restaurant to give you? A plastic cup? A cup. A cup. A cup. A cup would be cool. But the plastic cups are relatively... Can you feel my Ron Hextall cup up? It's all bent. You bring your own cup.

I knew a guy that did that. Yeah. I knew a guy that... You hang out with a lot of smush-martin. I knew a guy back at Martel's that got smashed in the face with something when he was younger. And he only drank out of... He would bring cases of styrofoam cups with straws and lids in his trunk. And that's what he always had his drinking.

Is he drinking lean? Who is he? Lowell Lane? What's in my cup? Telling you. Yeah, okay. So I guess I would, I see what you're saying. I guess I was my hand up.

I was wrong here. Those plastic cups are just effectively plastic pint cups to paint glasses to me. They're like the same size and shape. Yeah. They're just, you don't like that. Okay, I'm saying it in compared to the Stella Chalice, as you said, the plastic cup and the pine glass are about the same, about the same shape. You get a Stella, you steal a Stella chalice from a bar.

You bring it home, you wash it out, throw it in a freezer. Okay? Next day, I want you to grab a fresh gallon of vitamin D milk whole. Whole. Shake it up. Yeah, shake it. I don't like to shake. Pour it in.

You enjoy your cinnamon raisin toast. That. And you're talking about a good way to start today. Piece of test. I feel you, dog. I feel you Um All right

Let's see This one's from big boy Roy Uh 10 10 He's this is in British pounds Oh

British rubbish bloke Ever seen a fridge That's not against a wall My mate's dad Had one at the end of the breakfast bar With the back on full display And it was dusty as shit And before he asked

Of course he had cereal boxes On top of that John Shout out to you for using John Shout out to you for using John Shout out to your mate's dad for being a fucking full-blooded dirt bag. The back of the fridge kills all illusions. It's nuts. Yeah.

Because that's the intake. It's taken in air, so it's just... I don't want to see it. There is a level of dust you can't get off. That's on there. That's like hair on a dog. You can't get that off. Bad.

Bad. That's nuts. I like when they started doing the fucking... Like the fridges are like in now. That's big. It's like in the thing. In like this. It's like...

My mom has one. Like a knockoff one. Like the... It's got a piece of like... The fridge has a little house. Yeah, yeah. I got that. Yeah.

Yeah, you got that on the one side. Yeah. I think what are you? Yours is probably built in. Probably can't even see it. It just got redone like three years ago. It's real nice. It looks like a drawer or something.

No, it's still just a fridge, but it's just all silver, stainless steel. What do you got at your apartment? Can you see the... Oh, my fridge. things. It's got, but it's built in. Do you have one of them

little fucking New York Jones? No, it's built in. I have a little college boy. Keeps the Gatorade's ice cold, which I switched over to Gatorade zero. Not too bad. Not bad.

Scratches the edge. Scratches the itch. I got the eight pack of the orange. I'm all orange now. Orange Gatorade. That's it. Only in my house. Orange Gatorade and water.

That's like the... A bunch of Ltheney pills. Thienin. It's a supplement. Not on drugs. Kevin? Luke? Ryan?

My drugs, please. That's pretty wild work. As being able to see, what the fuck is here? Man, we've been getting people. That's why Zep bound. Oh, people have been running in and out of here. Who is it? Uber Eatsley?

Yeah. She sticks both of us with it. I never thought about that. That's very telling how much of your fridge you can see. Yeah. Like if you can see Because my old, yeah, that's It was just the counter ran to a certain point.

If you can see, I'll give you, you shouldn't be able to see, you should be able to see the front and I'll give you maybe one side. Now, fuck that. Fuck what? That's, so it used to run, the counter would stop.

Before Mikea counter, the counter would stop. And it had that flap on the end that always came loose. You know what I'm talking about? The little piece of cover that was always on the end. of a four mic countertop that would pop open the elbow here yes oh yeah i got that on i get dude i got

that on my fucking coffee table right now really yeah it's real bad coffee he gets some gorilla glue nah gorilla glue didn't hold it what i went with just clear packing tape right now i'm pretty jammed up jesus but i'm trying to get my shit together man i got a baby he's running around i got a lot of time. The side of the fridge. Plus I have a child. The side is the baby. The side of the fridge was always for like the letters and stuff.

Put the little kitchy stuff there. Yeah. You got all this shit in the front. I used to like when the side would show. We have a little side show and now. Yeah. I get that. I think the fridge covering technology has.

I think that's now a thing where you'll have people. Cover it up. Yeah, cover it up. Not a lot of people put shit on their fridge anymore, it seems. We're all shit, all fridge all day long. My wife's a bit of a thing. a pack, right, keep a lot of stuff. A lot of magnets.

Tickets and all that stuff? Tickets. We got pictures. We got like, uh, yeah, just kind of shit. Postcards or like Christmas cards from neighbors. Your parents have that shit on their fridge? No. Yeah.

I got like wedding invites though. Yeah, you got a, yeah, yeah. But your parents don't. Nah. Huh. Clean. Yeah. Rich folk.

Clean. No, our fridges have always been. Oh. covered. We still have hedgero theater stickers on my. Hanging on to the glory day. I'm not. My mom is.

I never say runs in a family. I remember we got it for my Uncle John's 50th birthday. This is 100 years ago. It was a magnet that we never gave to him and says, I'm 50 and everything works, well, most of the time, in parentheses. A dick joke. That was on my, that was on Denise's fridge, my whole entire life. I might have been eight. That was just there.

To the point where, like, I remember seeing it and remember learning what it was. Yeah. We had this little wooden thing on our counter growing up that said, there was a picture of a sailor like holding his junk. And it said, sailors don't die. They just get a little dingy. And we're like, what the fuck does that? A bunch of freaks in this house.

My dad's got a little piece. You bitch! You're telling me mine's not going to grow either. This is how you. You drop that shit on me? It's genetic? I still wait on a gross spurt. You're 22.

Yeah. Huh. Things are a little different. Yeah. Back in the day. I remember my parents, my mom took me to see, uh, just whacked away.

It took me to see something about Mary. What year did that come out? Your mom did? In theaters. Why? Down ashore. Oh, just to shut you up. It's raining.

Oh. Ain't nothing to do with a bunch of fucking... Yeah. Your mom saw something about Mary. My mom, my aunt Karen. What are laughing? We were dying. I knew something about...

I just watched that recently. What year? I love Mary, man. 98. So I was 12. That's prime time. That's to why... I mean...

My nana showed it to me when I was eight. Your nana. It's her favorite movie. It's your nana's favorite movie. Probably the only... Mary Jane is your grandmother's name? Oh, shit. Yeah, it was.

What's your grandfather's name? Panama Red. Crazy. Mary Jane Dempsey? Furback. Woo. Fur burger. Hang there.

Fur burger. What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about? Ew, that's gross. A fur burger? I'll go get your cupy. Ew, that's gross. Hey, you and your little dingy, won't you zip it?

Okay. share too much. Always comes back to bite me in the ass. Kevin's talking about Square, baby. I'm talking Square, baby. Dang, if you don't know, Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. Whether someone's selling smoothies, cutting hair, fixing bikes, or running a boutique,

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Go to chime.com slash disclosures. This one's from Woodster. I felt like we might have done this, but then I don't think we did. I think it was something else. You ever use goldfish crackers as croutons. Bonus points if they're flavor blasted. I feel like we have.

That's big. I think it was something else, though. Cheez-its maybe? It might have something. It was something else. When I lived in North Carolina, I was on a steady diet of a mixed bag of lettuce, balsamic vinegar, and fucking,

I use saltines as, as, uh, crowd. Yeah. That was something for me. Croutons have been like a fat kid ingenuity for me of the fact that I can eat croutons without a salad. Of course. And that it's really just. You're good. It's not that far from a goldfish.

No. It's not that far from a cheese. No. You know, it's right there. You should get that fucking garlic herb. Garlic herb, parmesan croutons. Oh, yeah. They were so, they were like so much more.

I'm well documented on the program. fat kid move learning that but they were so decadent I don't know if they were like Caesar dressing something you know there were a lot of these things were flavor blasted and I remember being like I'll do one or two to hold me and just like keep going back to that

you know it always sucked you had a salad or something like that you throw it in a fridge the next day you go to hit it and you catch a crouton it's like eating a little sponge they're completely fucking I also we were living different lives you think I'm eating salads putting in and then that's what I'm going back to.

I used to love that. Sal's the next day. Oh shit. Until you catch a fucking soggy crout. And I'm out. I'm out. Yeah. We always had a pretty steady supply of croutons in the house.

Yeah, of course. My dad was a salad guy, like salad. Usually it was his homemade dressing of ketchup and mayonnaise and fucking tons of shredded cheese, tons of croutons and black olives. Yeah. I love black ice. If he came home late, it'd be that. It looks so good.

Set it up nice. A lot of black pepper on it. The only times you've said that. Not many times I've heard black, I come home, I eat black owl. A lot of pepper. Dad's a good with pepper. You never see a dad to pepper? That's like a sign film.

A dabble a little pepper. A little pepper. A little pepper. A pepper makes it look nice. I remember watching my dad, I thought, thinking I wasn't old enough to eat cereal out of Tupperware. He would do that. Yeah. And like a big square one.

something you'd put like fucking, you know, something big here. You know why most of the time you couldn't? Because you'd spill it. Because you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the title shift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The milk goes to one side. It was over. I didn't have the, I didn't have the hand strength to pull off a.

Then you got screamed at. Spilling cereal on the couch, a full ball cereal on the couch. What the fuck? Mm-hmm. Spills. I would, I would be a relatively well-adjusted guy right now if I, didn't get yelled at for spills and I truly believe that what do you think you're going to do when it comes in a little caparino i'm fucking fine i don't care i don't care i told you we had a pool

party this great pool i have i have this pool party i saw this girl come in right she hopped right out of the pool walked right into the house didn't grab a towel a little girl or a woman a little girl like any chicks at that party hey i'm just curious what do you mean chicks did i have girls from the neighborhood to come by. No, we had fucking friends and family. We're at the house. Women who were married with children. Any chicks at the party? Is that what kind of life

you're living, monster energy drink and only orange a Gatorade? Any chicks you, dude? Get my tattoo suit. Yeah. No, I'm a goddamn father. Thinking about getting it. Yeah, you're what you're going. You think I'm in a midlife crisis? I told you about it. I want to get a chain with a lock on it.

Gip suit. Yeah. Any two pieces rolling around in that house? No. Yeah. Really? I'm just curious. You are obsessed with pussy.

It's crazy. It's actually crazy. What are you talking about? What do you mean? What am I talking about? You want to hear... I'm painting for the goddamn... I'm doing it for you.

I'm paying a picture for the audience. Put something in your spank back. It was a goddamn Fourth of July party for kids. So it wasn't a grown woman that walked into the house? No. Okay. Well, that's the kids do that. Is she being naughty?

Shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up. Okay. But I'm just saying. You're out of dinner. I'm out at dinner. Ten years from now. You're out of dinner.

Things are going well, yeah? I'm doing all right. You're out at dinner. Kipparino, busting your balls for another show. Oh, that 10 years? Let's say eight years. So he's 10. He's six years.

He's eight. None of these numbers are making sense. What is he a year? Yeah. All right. So seven years from now. He's 14. Yeah, I got you.

Hey, stop doing Matt. I got you. He just says he's eight. Seven years from now. You're out of the credit restaurant. It's 1992. It's not going well. All right.

The service sucks. He drove there. You and the wife are the little tiff, whatever. I don't know what's going on. It's not great. Picture what I go through. Sex life is down. Uh-huh.

You're a little more bald there. There's chicks at the bar. You already chicks at this restaurant? Any fucking hot tail running around? I'm just trying to paint a picture. Am I picturing myself throwing my wife? into traffic. Oh, I'm at the bar killing it.

I got a blue Hawaiian. I look over. There's fucking a bunch of braids hanging all over you. Alex, there's over there. You're doing body shots. Yeah, and I'm sitting there like a fucking married schmendrick with my fucking snot-nosed fat kids. It won't stop breaking my balls.

And he knocks over his... Nogs over his soda. Yeah. You're not going to... God damn it. I'm going to go over. I'm going to... fucking grab you by the collar what i do

something i don't tippy take it easy i didn't touch you regards to what that two-time and bitch is what the fuck we're living we're having a good time i'm having a good time you're over there sitting there man my fucking

bulls broken and we got a minivan out front it's about to get towed you got your snake cooked wrong you're freaking out excuse me i said medium well god damn it they screw you at these please There's no way we're getting out of here with less than a hundred bucks.

I'm killing it. I'm wrapping up the dinner rolls. I'm asking for more bread right before the cat. Hey, Kim, I see ya on Monday, huh? Uh-huh. Fucking motherfucking fucking motherfucket. Me and some of the girls are going to pull happen later. Oh, I stink.

I think I stink in that. You're doing what? Family loves you. Show yourself. I fucked up the steak. would get what triggers me and I think what triggered our family and I know what is like the embarrassment and

like making work for Wasn't that embarrassing? Why did they get so mad? I'm just saying that's what I would You're going to fuck we're here Jesus fucking Christ I can't do anything It's a fucking Shirley Temple man Take it easy

You look like I knocked over your fucking low and brow You're still gonna get your fucking clam strips And Coleslaw what the Is it really worth that? You killed a whole vibe of the goddamn meal. I got fish and chips coming. Had fished. 86 of fish and chips.

Why? I don't think I will. I don't want to be that. I so desperately don't want to be that guy, so I'd probably overcorrect. I'd probably start spilling myself. You know what I mean? Hey, don't worry about it.

Smash my beer over. It's fine, see? Everything's okay. I'm not going to yell at you. My fucking necks pulsating. Yeah, I'll probably go. That's a really good thing. That's a really good point.

I can forget about everything else. If I wasn't yelled at for spilling something at dinner, maybe I would have been different. And I'm not blaming my parents. I mean, I'm a bitch. It doesn't really sound like you're taking a lot of accountability. I'm taking all the, end up, I take all the account. I think that's just a symptom of the not great.

hoping life skills that they had. There's kids that do it all the time now, too. What? I think I maybe, first of all, this may be happened once or twice in my life. That's in, I see, I, there's no way. Remember you knocked over the shit on me on fucking Gallagher's when we were sitting here? I was drunk. Yeah, you were drunk.

I was drunk too. I thought I spent a whole bottle of wine on the big fella. And, and your steak. Is sitting in a bowl of soup. Garsohn, throw this in a blender and bring it back on a ride. So how about a glass of water for my friend there? He's driving. Yeah, I think that was...

I don't think our parents... I'll speak for it. I don't think my dad hated spills. I think he was just fucking on the edge already. And that set him off. No well-adjusted guy sitting there like, oh, yeah, son, you did great. What the fuck?

Like, that's not... Jesus fucking Christ, every fucking time. Be my uncle Tony. Yeah. Yeah, I would say it was more of a total package vibe. Probably her busting his balls all day, traffic, work, all that shit. Sure. Yeah.

She'd probably hear of fault. Who? I'm your mother. I love you, Patty. I'm kidding. Is Patty watch the program? Patty enjoys the program, yeah. A lot of people enjoy the show.

Patty's one of her, she sits down, she figured she's doing all right. She got a YouTube TV, brother's account. Mm-hmm. You know, she watches her show. She watches this. She watches NCIS, big NC. Marathons, NCIS. Volume at 60.

Good. You can hear it fucking down the street. Living her best life. She likes that Mark Harmon. Which I loved him back in it. You know Mark Harmon? I love NTIS. Really?

Yeah. Dude, he was like a heartthrop. Not that he's an old, he's an older guy now. He's still good looking dude. But he was like a proper heartthrob. Did you, Gibbs, Tony, Ziva. He was banging somebody back in the day. I can't remember who it was.

It was like Sybil Shepard or something like that. Probably. Probably a hot piece of air. He did a turn on a moonlighting, I believe. But he was dating Civil Shepherd, which the young kids out there probably don't know. She was a show called Moonlighting. And in college, fully dated a German Shepherd. Hey, Dad.

All right, we're back. That was my fucking Johnny Garland. She was a good guy. This is one we've never talked about, which is I never even thought of this. This is from Brennan. is it garbage to freeze restaurant leftovers? That seems crazy. Why?

You don't want them right away, and you're not going to have them in the next. Can you look up? What? Because I play it fast and loose on this. How long do leftovers last in the fridge? I'm sure you're going to get variant answers, but give me like what's a recommended,

suggested MSRP. I was also, MSRP? What was a joke? Oh. What does MSRP mean? Well, I know this. We've one of that we've done that.

Margins? Nope. Materials? Mm-hmm. Is it? No. We've done this. Tell me again.

Manufacturer suggested retail price. Oh. MSRP. MSRP. Damn, I was never going to get that. Huh. I would also be curious to know what is the, because in my house, if something was frozen, if you If you froze something, like let's say you froze hamburgers, and then you took them out, and you thawed them out and you cooked half of them.

If you put it back in the freezer, when you eventually took that out to eat it, it would kill you. I don't think it's- You can't re-free stuff. That's, that's, that, that, that, that was the, the fear that was always put in it. What do you have? Give me not, what you think. Give me your exact, give me the, the, the doctor's orders here. Three to four days for restaurant leftovers, they're saying is safe. That's, yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. That's like light work to me. But like, what if you're eating something at a restaurant? Let's say you get the fucking chicken scampy. You mean? I mean, what else are you going to get? Right? Not a dickhead.

You get the chickens. Yeah, I'm getting the scampy. You get the scampy. You fucking, you go home. You're not going to, you're going to take it home. You're not going to eat it within four days? I'm not going to eat it with a fucking four to five business. That's what this guy's saying.

Is he doing it? I don't know. I don't know. guy. All I have is it garbage of freeze leftovers. I'm sure either he did this. Someone in his family did. He's experienced.

Brennan. Brennan. Hit me up. I don't know what the hell's going on with this. If you thaw it in the freezer, it's okay to refreeze. If you what? If you thaw it in the fridge. It can't come to room temp.

Yes. That makes sense. You got to cook it. Yeah. See, we always left it in the sink where everybody went to work in school. That's fine. That's probably fine because that all that, hold on. This is my take on.

That's still when you get home. I don't know what the temperatures, but it's not room temp. You know what I mean? That holds that, that holds that freeze. That's a deep freeze. Chicken would be in the fucking... I've never, myself personally, I've never let anything get to room temp because I'm not fucking sitting there.

I can't throw it on air. It's cold when it goes on air. Cold. Air chill. If you thought in the bowl, you should throw it out, not refreeze it. Really? Who said that? The internet.

What the fuck the internet, though? Yeah, is itena Gardner? Is it fucking Guy Fierier? Gary, who is it? USDA. Fuck, those guys are bought and paid for. The fuck. The USDA?

Get out of here. Aren't they to meet guys? Oh, the guys who want you to buy more fucking hamburgers are saying, hey, if you put it in a bowl of water, you got to buy new hamburgers? Yeah, it makes a good point. What? You make a good point. I'd be in there.

You can use it as long as you want. Yeah. That's like they tell you, you know who tells you to fucking change your oil every 3,000 miles? The fucking oil company. Yeah, they do, don't they? Yeah. Check your fucking, uh,

Check your owner's manual. 20, 30,000 miles. Is that what it says? No, but that's, I'll, I've pushed it. I'm pushing it right now. I always, I like changing my own. Um. When I was driving.

I got the license back now. Well, not yet. I do. Do you have to go get a new, are we talking about? No, I don't have to go. Okay. Okay. I'm cool.

Everybody. Street legal. Take it. Bitchy. Take it. Take it frigging easy. Relax, Luke. Everything's fine.

Um, this one's from Bugbad Blastoys. I always thought it was Blastoid. It's Blastoyes. What's a Blastoy's? We talked about this a couple weeks ago. Yeah, you're a Pokemon. Uh-huh. He was like a Bordle or what did you call him?

Marwaddle. Snorlax. Snorlax. Thank you. Which I've been told it's a great compliment. It's a great Pokemon. Great Pokemon. Mm-hmm.

There you go. Thanks. That's going for you. Sure. Oh, well. I'm more of a Charzard. People were calling you a Graveller. What's that?

Drop a pick. Jerk off. Let me see. Graveller? Yeah. Probably throws cupcakes at people. Graveller, Pokemon. I'm going to hate this.

That's not bad. That guy's strong looking. What you're fucking talking about. Let me see. Fuck around and find the fuck out, guy. It's a poop. It's like a meat wad. Better fucking thaw him out.

That thing's been in the room temple. too long. Talk about a furburger. This one's just funny. It's from the real Hulk Cogan. I at least, and my whole family says Hull Cogan.

Holt Cogan. Like my mom will pronounce the hard K and Cogan. Yeah. Oh, Hulk Cogan? Yeah. Hul Cogan. Um, you ever need to be decontaminated.

That's a good one. Jesus. No. Yeah. Have I? You said you, in science class. Yeah. You just said you're out.

That's a flush. That wasn't contaminants. It's a flush. That's not contamination. No. I wasn't, I'd freak the fuck out. Man,

they, like the COVID shit when they get you up in the fucking, in the plastic. I'm jumping right out the window. I'm jumping right out the window. Yeah. That must have sucked. Fuck that shit.

Talking to you through that button. You're going to be okay. What the fuck? Hey, he ain't gonna make it. I can hear you, motherfucker. I don't even like it when the fucking dude,

the technician runs out of the room and throws on the, that fucking vest. This is a Seinfeld bit. I thought we're going to have fun with that. I'm sorry. I panned up. I went mean. I'm sorry. Yep. Okay.

Sensitive salary. Have you been quarantined? For rudeness? You've had to get sprayed down for something. I don't think so. I remember I got real nervous one time. I was working with some people and a free online. Something happened. And there was some sort of flame. There was some sort of

chemical reaction. And I was told that it makes like, we had to evacuate an area kind of because it makes like killer mustard gas. No shit. Something similar. Would you rip one? Has Rocco's sweet peppers got me?

Little dab of this. Touch of cinnamon. I do talk about my fucking, uh, my willpower. I've been spent a lot of time at the depot. You're not walking by a Rockos and win it. Dude, seven, eight, seven, eight times I walked right by it.

Just not. Older broad leaning out to keeping the door open with her foot, smoking. Like, that cheese steak would fucking hit heavy bike right now. But I didn't do it. Good man. Try him. Urban rock ghost toe. Yes.

Do them right over there. Mm-hmm. What are their deal is? I think it's probably just, I think about, dude. There's a lot of construction workers. So if... Does Home Depot own Rockos? No, they probably lease it out.

Home Depot doesn't want to... Oh, they might own it. I don't know. What's that relationship? They probably... What do you got? Why the fuck doesn't Lowe's get something like that going on? It's just select Home Depot's

that seems mostly like PA, New Jersey, and New York. Yeah, it's a very trice-state thing. They should all be doing that. You think of how many fucking construction workers are pulling up to like a hot sausage? Yeah. Cheese steak Who's winning that war

Who's winning the hardware wars Home Depot Lowe's What's the other one? Ace? I hit an Ace the other day Ace is all right That's small market That's nice shit though

Yeah You walk in there and go Hey where do the extension course All right He goes yeah Ace is all right He said cross the highway Because it was like the main

Not the highway Like the main aisle In the thing I loved cross the highway Bang a left That's what he hit me with I was looking for a gas station Ace also does the old time candies

They got all the old candies in there. Mm-hmm. Real nice. They're saying Home Depot is more of a contractor store and Lowe's is more for your average homeowner. I'm more of a construction worker, but he knows that blue-collar guy. Who goes to a Lowe's?

Home Depot. All the way. Fuck Lowe's. Got that dude that does the thing for Lose. Mike Rowe? No. Hey, talk about Mike like that. I got to be honest with you.

I spent a lot of time at Target and Walmart as well. Mm-hmm. Walmart. there's something. I don't know if it's like, there's a level of scumbag at Walmart that is not at Target. No.

Target ain't great. I like a Walmart. What? I was in two Wal-Mart, two Walmarts recently. A bad one and a nice one. You hit a nice Walmart. Delicious.

Yeah, the one I'm going to is on the, not the great, isn't the great one. Huh. And it's like, it's exponentially bad. Like, I don't know,

it's, you're just like, this is, this is wild. People are just walking out with carts. Oh. Oh, I kind of stole something and knew, and I forgot. Whoa, good for you.

Two big heavy-duty trash, like street trash cans. You did. You're stealing. I didn't realize. Man, down there in the burbs, you need something to eat. It's wide open. I need to feel, baby. No, I was fucking.

So I went on a wider guy. I didn't scan. Something didn't scan, and then I was at the self-checkout, and they had to come over, and then she was like, uh, uh, I was like, oh, it's this. I, I scanned it in the cart because you have the gun. And then I put it on the thing Like out of order You know out of the order of like whatever

So it's set off the something's in the bagging area So then she came over It was this big to do I was like oh it's this I scanned it and then whatever whatever And that made me forget about the trash cans Because the trash kids The two big trash cans were still in the cart And then she still two big trash cans

Yeah she hit check out I didn't steal them Yeah you did Well what defines stealing By the way I found the fucking diamond ring in the laundry yesterday. That was mine. No. How's it yours?

I don't know. It was a old diamond that went like that. It had two little things on it. It was in the washing machine at the laundry mat. What you do? I checked it out. And then I turned it in. I'm going to fucking take somebody's... Turned it in? Yeah, turn it into the lady that runs

the laundry man. I'm like to take somebody's fucking ring. Yeah, that'd be crazy. No, I wouldn't do that. At what point do I? steal because this is sounds like sounds like I'm trying to get out of it this is all for comedy purposes

you're doing it now I didn't realize then that it wasn't that's the same shit that everybody says what in my shoplifter videos she didn't know I didn't know why did you realize what when did you realize I realized

after she checked my receipt at the door because she checked it I go what the fuck why would I you know she stopped Yeah, she looked at the receipt handed it right back And then I realized as I was leaving I went oh, I didn't fucking scan those

Because there was a kerfuffle at the self-checkout And to quote the great Matt McCusker I was never trained on this system I don't know anything about this You didn't call me in There has to have been a meeting of like Listen, we're going to go to self-checkout We know that we're going to lose X amount of dollars

You think Do you think you like you've cracked the case Like these guys had to sit down and go. So it's cheaper. It's cheaper to lose the money on the merchandise than to pay the employees to stand there. That's what they figured out, obviously. They're losing money either way.

You don't have to pay fucking taxes on a computer. You got to pay payroll taxes, insurance. So they'd rather you just steal the shit. They knew people were going to steal self-checkout, right? They had to have known that. They didn't think, oh, it was going to make sure they do themselves. Yeah. That wasn't a thing.

Uh-huh. They knew that. They know the nature of human. humanity to destroy itself. Steel. Also, employees steal. Employees steal time. So it's like,

police steal product. I'm not for it. I'm anti, I'm anti self-checkout. I was banging at fucking Acme when they put it in. I was on the front lines of this shit. So don't tell me.

I know. I take it easy, man. I'm freaking out. That was all that Vian. I smashed my computer. But yeah, I realized as I was walking out. But you didn't go back in.

See, I don't. Don't steal. That's the one thing. I didn't go back in because I said someone came over. She hit checkout for me. She said, like, okay, you're good to go now. Like, pay. That's why I paid.

I didn't realize. What are you doing? You're sleeping with her? How long you two known each other? And then they checked me at the door. That's two failures on their end. I'm not going back in and going two of your people fucked up. Did you know it walking out that you were stealing him?

I realized, I go, I go obviously, I go, oh, I guess I was. what is she checking for? Like after she, I handed her my receipt. I go, what's she checking for? And then I go, oh, it would clearly be you would steal these big things that aren't in bags or whatever. You know what I mean? Or like check to see if something's in the trash cans. And that's what I was thinking as I was already passed her through the threshold of the door.

That's smart. And then I go, oh, I didn't pay for the fucking trash cans. Where are you at? I'm in the parking lot. I'm like, I'm all, I'm from the sidewalk. What are these trash cans for? What do you mean? A township doesn't give them to you?

No. Were you making like a punch? Jungle juice for his party. He's making some McMunk juice. What's McMunk juice? That's something we made in high school. How'd you call it McMunk juice? I forget.

Flip came up with it. We wrote all the, because it was one of those things that were like, you probably had like how they made jungles. We went around to everybody's house, stole a bunch of like filled up a water bottle of this. What about all this? Like whatever, you know, you could steal.

grain alcohol. Yeah, gin, fucking, you know, Bacardi, whatever. Green alcohol, we got a bottle of a hundred-proof grain alcohol. Wasn't it just vodka? No, a hundred-proof. Hunter-proof.

I don't know. We never, I mean, fucked you up, I'll tell you that. Yeah, we never really got our hands on it. Make up with orange peels in my nose. But we, we dumped it all on a thing and then added, like, Sprite and we wrote it down to try to make it again or something.

Then burn the recipe? And then flip, put a little monk drool, little monkey on the paper. I was like, we're going to call this McMunk juice. I was fucked up. I didn't care what you called it, Daddy. We were never able to recreate McMont. There was like beers in there.

It was just like. Beers? We went out of a little scoop of peanut butter. Yeah, you did. There's a cinnamon. All right. All right. We got to wrap it up, though, gang.

Gang, I'm going to tell you this right now on behalf of me, Kevin and Luke. We love you to death. Go and peace. My peace. See you in three days. Peace.