Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Adderall & Bar Games w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! NEW MERCH: www.areyougarbage.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Go Factor: https://go.factor75.com/Garbage130 Promo Code: Garbage130 Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/garbage Beis Travel: https://beistravel.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang, the merch drop is live, baby! It's alive! We're not talking about Frankenberry either. We're talking about Toadies Goodies. Pick yourself up a day. Yeah, gang. Go to RUgarbage.com, the full merch store. We got all tickets to the live shows over there.

We're talking Tampa. We're talking Danny Beach. We're talking Raleigh. We're talking Cleveland. We're talking Columbus. And we're also talking Louisville. Plus, we got t-shirts and lighters. Check it out, gang.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.

This is Are You Garbage? Hey, it's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they're good to be classy after just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootsies in the new edition, baby.

Her rise continues. She's doing all right. She's dating in a higher tax bracket these days. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She's over there on the tender. Oh, OK. Keeping it real.

All right. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman. And he's my best pal in the whole wide world. And I love him. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James, Ryan, everybody.

What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes full video available. And YouTube, as you know, those numbers are. Shrooter Ralph. Cookin'. And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time,

www.patreon.com. Slash Are You Garbage, you go over there. You get weekly episodes of hard feelings, weekly bonus episodes of AYG. It's a good time. Check it, the F out, gang. Yeah. What's that number two website out there?

www.rugarbage.com, baby. T-Bone, hit me. Merch Drop available right now, Sunday night, 7 PM, as this is rolling out. Hit pause. Pop open another browser. W-W-W-W-W-W-A-Y-G. Score some T's, baby. Get some T's.

We got fucking Zippos. Not brand name, but Zippo style lighters. The Zippos were too expensive. They're not Zippos. You know how much it costs to buy a Zippo, put AYG on it, then send it to somebody? It's about $80. Selling a couple of Zimbees.

Couple of craps. We should be selling crackhead lighters. Make sure you like that outside. First go around. Keep that away from the kids, will you? And have a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, the Magic Man. Makes us all look good.

Works to ones, works to twos, the threes and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the I's, and now you can get a little peek at him, ladies. Over there on that Toby cam. Give it up for T-Bone McScroffins. Toby McMullen, everybody. Hey, what up, dude? What up, T-Bone?

I would have gone with hippo lighters, but what are you going to do? You know when we're good to jeep? Jeeps? Isn't there was a D in front of it? We always said to jeep. No, I don't know it. They were the big, heavy, bulky guys.

Would they have the butane? No, they were like, you know. I remember when those things happened. Fucking roasting some beasters with a fucking butane. But butane lighters were only good until they ran out of butane. Yeah, who the fuck had that shit? We had it, but we had to do it.

My parents used to, I used to have gun lighters I would buy on the Wildwood Boardwalk. It was called like the double horse or something. It cocked, but it was like an actual fucking handgun. It cocked, but I had another one called the Sailfish, which was a revolver that would spin. Like it hold up a liquor store. Yeah, looking back, it's like no wonder I'm addicted

to burnies now, Ma. What are you doing? I'm fucking playing with cool lighters as a kid. Shout out to it, man. I wanted to ask you boys this. Uh-huh. Are you garbage.com merch drop? Are you garbage.com merch drop?

A lot of cool teas over there you could check out. Yeah, baby. We got it all going on over there. What's your guy's stance or what's your move when you get out of the shower? All right. Okay. What do you do with the towel?

Where's the towel go to dry? Uh, it depends. Usually on the back of my closet door, if I'm being honest with you. I feel if you, we just have the hooks in the bathroom and it's two together. You need, you need. I would say the back of the doors that way too.

The other gentleman's move, I think, is over the door on the corner of the door. That's what I do on my closet door. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, over the door. So you get real surface area so it dries out. Cause I gotta be honest with you. I use, it smells like a homeless guy.

It ain't good. Man. It's just that wet. It's wet and then I fucking, man. It's a tough look. But I get, I get heated to house from the bird about hanging it on the door. Supposed to go.

She says you put it over the bathroom or what's it called? The shower. I don't like that either. Over that thing. Yeah. No, cause then the curtain's gotta be open. Why? No, just put it over the curtain.

That's disgusting. Why? Cause the mill doing mold to get on those curtains. That's disgusting. Yeah, I've taken some heat keeping that on the door. What do you put yours, D-Bone? Corner of the door. Yeah, corner of the door is the general.

I wonder if rich people do that. That way I can get real frustrated when I try to close it. Yeah. Also, but if you're a little paranoid peat like me in the middle of the night, that serves as a little nightlight if you keep the whole light on.

So the bed guy don't get you. Wait, you keep it on the corner door in the room? Oh yeah. Oh, that's a ghost as far. I don't like that. Oh, I'll do that. No, in the bathroom door. She likes the door completely closed,

which I don't like. When you go to sleep? Yeah, she locks it down. Get the fuck out of here. She locks it down in there. Wait, do you lock your bedroom door? Not locked, but it's closed. That's enough.

Are you a front-tears move? It's locked and you're, you lock the bed, but never. How many lights do you leave on in your house when you're sleeping? I saw you the other one. You could probably sleep with them all onto me. Dude, would you? The nightmares can't get you with the lights on.

When I woke up in Connecticut and I woke up at like six or something like that, your light was just blasting. I was getting sunburned from that thing. I saw it coming through under the door. I thought it was alien space ship. It was like contact. I've been probing you.

I keep the hall light on so I can peek a little bit. I don't mind that. I'll do that. We have a real little one on a shelf that's pretty much a nightlight, if I'm being honest with you. Sure. Dude, shut in the bedroom door. Never shut in.

You don't know what's going on out there. She does that, earplugs, and then a face mask. They can get anybody. You can get her. Yeah. My girl did that. You're on your own, honey. So I'm sawing wood next door with a fucking chainsaw.

I get it. She's trying to fight a losing battle. Oh my god. Kippy and I shared a wall in Vermont. My bed was shaking, dude. It was a log cabin. You got to get to see Pat, bro. OK, coming from the guy that just came from the gym

and didn't shower. Tell me what I got to do. I'm down on a snore anymore. Yeah, you're also got a machine keeping you alive. It's a little different. All the guy heard would say, I don't snore no more. Yeah, there's a machine you plug in that has given you infections.

Shut up, the res bed. The Indian guy that's treating you. I am res bed. Man. Yes. I have something before we. I went out to a god damn family episode here. This is it.

We haven't done this in a minute. I know. Well, we had the new studio. Everybody's in town. You got to show off the new edition. Get the big roll out. Kick rocks. It's the boys are back in town.

Here's what you're paying for right here. Now back to your regular schedule program. Yeah, the spaceship launch. That's it. Schultz, you deleted my number. I don't know what to tell you. What are you going to say? I apologize.

No, I was out to dinner down there tonight. I was down last week or so with the bird who went down to Wildwood, New Jersey. Sure. Couple two trade days hanging out, relaxing, soaking in the pretty scenes. I knew about this, right? Yes, but we went to Avalon.

Nice, real money. Hoity, toyy. That's the only place that has a nicer restaurant. For the folks out there that don't know, down there in South Jersey, you have Wildwood, where the plumbers and. Ain't nothing wrong with blue collar guys. They get it together.

And the HVAC guys all hang out. Shout out to the mechanical contract. Then as you start moving down the coast a little bit down there, it starts getting a little ripe with cash. Yeah, a lot of rich people. Avalon would be the higher end. Now Oprah's got a spot down there. She's still hard.

And the beaches are real long. Yeah, it's real rich. There's enormous. It's rich person shit. So we went over to dinner, went over to ice. I don't like that either, by the way. I don't like when the beach is real long. Well, you got a walk.

Well, yeah, that. Plus a burgeon. I mean, I was with him yesterday. We went to get coffee. It was a block away. He said, no. Burn your tootsies. Nah, it's just scary down there.

I don't like it like that. I like to be able to see the boardwalk and stuff like that. Smell the funnel cake. Ain't no boardwalk. I'm talking about at night. During the day, that's great. We were going to the beach at night, finger banging college chicks. Going to the beach at night, dude.

That's great. That and fucking no. Trying to get my skinny dip on. One time, me and my cousin chatted up a couple of broads at Stone Harbor, and we were staying in Avalon. Or no, we were staying, I don't know, maybe Sea Isle. Was it Make-A-Wish weekend or something?

Yeah, dude, we weren't supposed to be there. I don't know whose house it was, but it wasn't my parents. I can tell you that. We went to meet these girls in Stone Harbor. What's right before Avalon? Sea Isle. Sea Isle, Avalon, Stone Harbor. So is it possible?

I think we just do this on a Patreon episode. I think we were in Sea Isle, and we were meeting girls at the playground in Stone Harbor. And we had to walk all the way. How old were they? Oh, wait, hold on a second. You girls like swing sets? I think I was 13 at the time.

Sure. Predicate that. That was the thing you would go half your age plus seven, huh, big guy? We were kids, you idiot. What are you talking about? As a young teen, preteen, you would hang out at the basketball courts, the playground, after door.

The pony rides, you know where the babes are at. A preschool. No, I know what you mean. That was the summer lovin' spot. That was the summer lovin'. Summer lovin' had me a blast. They didn't show up. We looked like fucking idiots.

Go down the Jersey Shore, do some real toothy kissing. Yeah. Aw, I just made my blood run cold. Some toothy kissing. Got a lanyard hanging out of your pocket. Yeah, that was it. It's a lanyard. I don't know.

I wore one of those one year. No. It was a Tommy Hilfiger one. They were hot. What was your keys? But in my pocket, like hanging. Oh, OK. It was the liquid.

That's all right. I think it had like a festival pass on it. No, it was the key. Fucking dorkapollusion. Stop, I know the promoter. Gets cool after 11. Come by. We were supposed to be chatting up these broads

over at Stone Harbor. And they're like, meet us here at 2 AM. And dude, we are fucking full of hormones. We wait until everybody went to sleep. It's four dudes on a playground with owners in the middle of the night. Hey, you guys got set up too, huh? You bump into another fucking group of hornballs.

But we had to avoid the police. We had to go to the beach and fucking walk. I think we walked all the way through. This is the Normandy again. Buzzy, this is crazy. Storming the beach in Avalon to strike out. I remember it just being real scary and real rich, because it was like the dunes and stuff like that.

Going over there, broads weren't there. They got chased. No, not your life story. I'll be fellin'. Got chased by the cops on the way home, jammed up. So anyway. So anyway, I'm in Avalon. I did not get stood up.

Having a nice meal? Having, yeah, nice enough. You know what I mean? Decent meal. Can I say this? What? The food ain't great down there. No.

It's not like if you're down in. You're not at fucking Joe's down in Miami. Miami and fucking the Jersey Shore are significantly different. I don't know. Miami's rich people 24-7. The Jersey Shore's open fucking 30 days a year. Fresh clam strips.

And the guy next to me, it was kind of a glimpse into. It was a pretty empty restaurant. It was fucking April down the shore, you know what I mean? Sure. A bunch of off seasoners, a bunch of older people. Locals. Local. Not even like my mom goes down on the weekends,

hiring a girl. She's a local. No, I think locals live there. Really? Yeah. She owns property down there. She's a property owner. Sure.

I would consider her a local. Yeah, you also consider a lot of things that aren't correct, so sure. Yeah, locals, especially in the Jersey Shore. I'm down there from Tuesday to Thursday. I practically live. Stayin' in a seashell motel. We did that one time as a kid.

What? We didn't even stay for a weekend. Our vacation that year was like Tuesday to Thursday at Summer's Point, not even on the beach. Summer's Point? Yeah, we had our residents in. I've definitely told you about that. My dad got a deal, something with the Navy.

Oh, yeah, you did. We were over there in a townhouse. Yeah, if you're in a red bunch of dickheads. Just stayin' next to a businessman who aren't even going to the beach. That's a tough vacation. I have a thing, too. I was talking to a new guy, Luke, about this.

And let me know. NGL? NGL. Good buddy of mine. I have a theory that if you're using roller bag luggage and not getting on a plane, it is a bad luggage, all right? That's for airport terminal walkways. You have some samples in there.

Yeah, you can't be going down the shore or up the mountains or something with roller bags dragging it through the sand like a jerk off. You have to get on a plane. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I did.

I took my roller down, and I'm like, it felt disgusting. But if you were going, if you were. Felt like a hooker. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and get in there and clean yourself up. Wipe myself down. Puttin' powder under your arms. Yeah, you'd use a duffel for that.

A duffel. But if you're staying for a, I mean, dude, when I was a kid, we would show up with everything but the stove. Sure. Bags of stuff. Yeah, we had, I mean, we always had soccer bags that we would use. Like, you know, we're like.

Those big equipment ones? Yeah, not that big. I mean, they weren't like hockey bags. It wasn't a fucking round of my goalie pass. One of those things behind the dugout. It was a big, great. The gang box. I always wondered what was in there.

Man, getting your hands on an open one of those. That'll change. That'll, if your brother's playing, and you, like. There was always a pile of dirt behind the backstop and you fucking ramp your bike off to a couple of tailwhips. It was always that clay looking dirt. It was like a red tinge to it. And they're digging that for a little while.

Bury a couple of GAG. Do an avalanche or something. Start a waterboard in Cobra. But so I'm in this gosh darn restaurant. And older couple across from us, kind of empty, you know what I mean? We did go early. We went to like 4 PM or something.

It's nice. It's nice. It was an older couple. He kind of looked like me. She kind of looked like my, you know what I mean? It was a very, like, it was very character-esque, you know what I mean? If they were casting in a movie in 30 years, it would have been us.

And he's sitting there. He's annoyed with her. Like, he's not having it, you know what I mean? And then- Sure, I'm listening. He pulls. They do, we get there. They're eating their appetite. They're entrees.

So they had to get there at like 2.15 or something because the service was slow. So I don't know what time they got there. Man. And when an old guy doesn't like the restaurant, woo, he lets everybody know about it. He pulls out at the table, open air. Toothpick.

No, the fucking flosser sticks. Jesus. And he, you can hear him sucking the air through his teeth after he cleaned it out. Getting that third corset, huh? And then they come over like, would you like any dessert? And he's fucking still covered. Yeah, I brought my own.

I got half a prime rib in the back tooth. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, man, that's another level of dirtbagginess. Yeah, pop, you excuse, I'm not saying you don't do it. You do it when you get in the car. You do it- Sure. Excuse yourself to the back. That's why they had the toothpicks

when you walk out of the joint. Yeah, you can't get up to the toothpick and go sit back down. Yeah. Here comes Mr. Thirsty. I'm trying to eat my crow boulet. This guy's getting a cleaning done. I need a break.

She's scaring out to take X-rays. He's got the thing going on. Yeah, I was like, I'm like, God damn. What was he busting her balls about? I couldn't tell. It didn't look like a happy marriage, if we're being honest. It looked a little miserable. Something about the wine.

He wasn't having it. I don't know what it was. You can't expect a nice wine selection down there, I don't think. It was B-Y-O-B. So I popped out, ran over, got a bottle. Did you? Yeah.

Bottle of wine. Uh-huh. You usually don't drink wine. No, bottle of fireball. Two chilled shot glasses, please. No, I don't drink wine, but I feel like a dirtbag rolling with a sixer of fucking paps P-B-O-R. So I got to fucking meet in the middle.

Bottle of fucking champagne thing. I'd say that'd be all right, though. Yeah. Fireballs are going to occur. I've said this many a time. It's good stuff, man. It's thick and it's sweet. It's a digest thief.

Yeah, OK. Cinnamon's good for you, too. I don't think it's real cinnamon. And now, more fresh cinnamon. Couple of pieces of big red in there. Yeah, it's just big red and fucking hooch. But I was another thing. I didn't know how to pick out wine.

Obviously, I'm an idiot. And I did it just to fit in, which I wish I had the. Wait, at the wine store. At the liquor store, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just ran over and just picked. I could tell you right now, real simple.

I don't remember. OK. That's the thing. I could Google it as well, but it's like, I know everybody says if you spend over like 15, anything over 15 bucks is like, all right. Yeah, no, you don't got, you get a nice 12-bottle bottle. Yeah, whatever.

I just didn't want to embarrass myself and roll in with like Boone's Farm or something. What were you having? We eating fish? You got a jug of Carlo Rossi. You're fucking it. Just bring your own bag or whatever you're doing. Man, god, that's cooking wine.

Yikes. Seen the dishwashers go at that a couple of times. Really jam up the night. Staying flames out. Night, sir. Man, Miguel's hemmed up in the back. I just picked the $18 bottle of wine. Do you remember what it was?

Was it a Pino? Was it a Malbec? It was a blend. OK. Well, what do you want from me? Always go Pino in a war if you're not sure. Why? Because it's good.

That was the blend. It's all the same shit, dude. What do you mean? It did the job. I had to drive home with one eye closed. No, I'm kidding. You think the golf cart over there? No.

I just took a fucking 35-minute drive in a car. It'd be fucking six weeks, and the golf cart freezing my balls all the way to that fucking Bay Breeze. Can't there any AC express? Go around. Hold it up the AC pass. That's a low-power vehicle right there. Is that yours, or your cousin has one, right?

No, we have one. You got one proper. Yeah, it was a big tax break thing. If you get it, you know. What does a golf cart cost? $2,000,000? I mean, yeah, if you're going to play pub pub, yeah. That's a vehicle.

That's three leagues. Really? I think they're like $8,000,000 or something. You can't take that on the highway. We did get an Asian manufactured one, so it was a little cheap. I think if you go American and heavy bike, they're about $10,000. I think we got it for about $5,500. Got the sun, young moon zipping around.

Yeah, T-Bone, what's like a street legal golf cart? You poking around over there? Yeah, like $10,000,000,000. Whoa. This wasn't $10,000,000,000. Something wrong with the battery, I know that. It can't be plugged in for that long, otherwise the whole house is going to go up.

We got a chintzy one. I do know that because we never, you know, they never buy anything good and right. They always got a fucking good corner. Of course, that's the way it's done. My family looks at someone goes, oh, this one's $1,000, and this one's $500, just get the $500 when I go there. But there is a difference.

Yeah, the only good that my parents ever bought like that was a Traeger. We had that for like 20 years. I didn't know they were banging for that long. I've only recently heard of them. My dad must have found out when they started making them or something. He knew about it.

It was pre-9-11. That's all he wouldn't shut up about it. Yeah, we just threw that out. Wait until he passed and got rid of it. Didn't work for like five years. He kept saying he was going to fix it. Oh, no, nothing's ever been fixed in my house. No, no, no, no, no.

Can't much talk about Factor, baby. Factor. Yeah, as T-bone says, hunger is no longer a factor. Yeah. Copyright to the LLC. Gang, we love Factor Meals over here. There's no secret.

Just had an order delivered right that I asked. Kippy just got some delivered. We're all set, ready to go. I love it, baby. It's fantastic. It takes the thinking. Because if I have too much time, I go, what do I want to end up getting pizza?

But if I got a factor at the house, I go, hey, I'm eating in two, three minutes on a skillet real nice. Shout out to the shredded taco bowl. Love ya, mean it. Those boys know the way around a Zoodle. I can tell you that. Man, they got over 34 chef prepared,

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Be like us. Do it. We love it. Kip, let's talk about Aura. Aura frames, baby. Let's talk about the fact that we all take a billion pictures and we never, ever, ever, ever, ever look at them. But you know how you can and know

that could be a real smash hit for Mother's Day, which is coming up. Set the old bird up with an aura. She throws it on the counter. You got the free app. You upload the images. Then she could see what the grandkids, what the niece and nephew, what everybody's doing.

Couple of tasteful nudes. We got one in the house so we can keep an eye on what's going on over there in Hawaii. And we love it. Yeah, it's fantastic. They actually just sent me two more. I never told you. I gave them to my mom.

I gave them to my mom. As long as you're spreading them around. Spread them around. Gotta give the bird. Keep the birds happy. The interactive touch bar allows you to like photos. Send congratulations. Change images at any time.

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That in the pool. Mike Homs is just talking about redoing the kitchen that hasn't been finished and still has renovation. It's still missing outlets. Outlet covers in a couple of places. Just put the toaster in front of it. Turn the lights on, the garbage disposal starts going. Yeah, it's all jammed up over there.

All right. But gang, this is a family episode. As you know, when you join the old patreon.com over there, we will answer your garbage question on the air. It's just the best way to dope. People aim out of damn, but patreon gets first crack out of pay because they're the homies. Shout out to the homies.

This one's from James, $10 homie. There you go. As a garbage to take a family member to a school dance, my brother took our smoke show of a cousin to his senior prom, which. Reggie was talking about that. Our good pal Reggie Conquest. Our good pal Reggie Conquest took his sister, I think.

Or he went with his sister or something. It's crazy. That's nuts to me, but you do want to take that. No matter what, I'm looking to close. You do want to take the hot cousin, right? I mean, that was the whole pot's the whole point of it. Not what your cousin. I'm just saying.

But my thing is, if you're going to take a cousin, don't take the Ugo fucking swing. Oh, yeah. You know, try to hit it out of the park. Go with the hot one. Because if you put a gun to everybody's head, it was like, hey, you have to go to your senior prom with a cousin.

Everybody's got someone they're picking. Everybody's got a hot cousin. I'm taking Dennis. Soccer player. That's Gwyn. Jotha Gwynig. Yeah, man, that's a tough look. But here's the thing.

If you have an older hot cousin, all right. I'm listening. And you can't get anybody to go to the prom with you. They don't know her. You show up with that dying piece. Nobody needs to know that your family. It's going to get out. You think?

Where'd you meet her? You got to. Those background stories have to be iron tight. Where'd you meet her? Yeah, where'd you? My christening. My god damn godmother. No, yeah.

But that could give you some. If you were a kid, would I be the godfather, by the way? No. Really? No. OK. What? I don't know.

I don't know. Now you're going to be in your head for the next 40 fucking minutes. Thanks a lot, big guy. What about you, T-Bone? What? Uncle Hank? What are you, crazy?

Uncle Hank, maybe. This is the fat guy I work with. Call me Mr. Foley. My dad's right. You are a fat ass. Holy shit, dad. He's bigger than you said. No, I'd have to be.

My dad says you're not allowed to have the snacks either. You got to go blood. Drink up the holy water. You got to go, would I be your firstborn's godfather? Maybe. You got to go your brother. That's like best man. Am I my niece and nephew's godfather?

Are you somebody's godfather? Yeah. Yeah, me too. I'm my nephew's, I think. I don't know who got the little one, somebody. But no, I thought that was based on who would be able to take care of them if, God forbid, something happened.

No, that's what it was in like the 1800s. Well, it would still probably be you. My brother's got his hands full over there. Dude, talk about the ultimate Foley move. You have a kid die, and I got to raise a little fucking you asking me dumb questions all the time. Taking a crack at your wife every once in a while. Oh, God, that's going to happen.

So I have to say no. You have to say yes. What do you mean? No, I don't. My dying wish? You're going to leave the kid in the front. I'm definitely not saying yes if you're actually dying. I think I'm out of town that weekend.

Check the meter. Zipping away in the golf cart. God damn it, won't start. God damn cheap batteries. Yeah, I guess you do go family. You got to go family. And now it's more of just maybe your brother. Wait, you get my brother?

No, I don't ask him. That's what I'm saying. You ask Danny? He does well. All right, kids, all right. Man, you're a leech. The whole lot of you are all fucking leeches. All right, why don't we go to private school, by the way?

That's what I always wanted. And Ivy League school. No scholarships. Like, Paul O'Neill hitting three home runs. How'd you tell him three, four? That's a deep cut. But now you just have to, because I got into it with the priest when I was my nephew's godfather.

It's always good. Yeah, this guy's running his fucking app. I don't know. Like, I ain't got a newspaper. What do you love to on a weekend's dickhead? Hey, you want to start poking? Ask him why I wasn't in church. Where were you?

Well, what were you doing? Fucking breaking my stones. This was a fucking bulls. So you went to nightclub, bless me. Don't act like you weren't at the boom-boom room, all right? All right, father? Wait, hold on. What's the beef you got with him?

I didn't know about this. He was like, when were you at church last? And I was like, what the fuck does that got to do with the price of tea in China right now, pal? I'm trying to have you sign off on his document that says I'm going to beat his godfather. Hey, I keep them laced in Nike's as of now. Just fucking sign off on it.

Yeah, they're shit. Which was a good feeling. I fucking, it was just all their birthdays. So I laced them in fucking Jordans. Nice. Fucking real tight. Hey, you want that? Boom.

There you go. Three Bs? Where'd you get them? I bought these. And a shout out to Sneaker Suplex. Yeah, the South Street. Shout out to South Street. They were, they did, the teacher said something of like,

these, the word of how cool the shoes were, made it to a teacher and then back to my sister. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. They go public school, private school, Catholic school. Public. OK.

Yeah. Right, you're impressing public school teachers? That's hard. Catholic's one thing, or private school. That's pretty sweet. Couple of sneaks on the kids. Yeah. I got up the, I've been a little,

kids are due for a round of something. What was the last thing you bought them? Hey, will you be my godfather? Thanks to my six year old niece. Christmas, I think. That was six months ago. No, when my dad's headstone came in, I saw him. We went out to dinner.

That day, I each got broken off a honey, straightened him out a little bit. I'll see him soon, see him around Mother's Day. Break him off something. That's a very foley story. Ask him for 50 back. Taxes. I'm chimed up over here.

Talking about. I got him sneakers. I can't remember. It was before Christmas. I didn't get him to Jordan's though. Because you got no style. I'm scared he was going to get robbed for them or something like that.

What? I don't know. Runs in a dangerous crowd. See, living in the suburbs of Philly. It's not the fucking, it's not the 90s. People aren't getting robbed for Jordan's. Also, that might toughen him up a bit. Have to fight for a pair for a fucking fresh set of whites.

Trying to get your left 91 back. All right, let's see. Next question here. This one's from Blake. Is it garbs or go to Target to give yourself a spray of Axe body spray to get the smell of heaters off you? I fucking respect that. I don't know about that.

But if I put. That's smart. I wouldn't say it's classy. Not Axe. If you're perusing through a legitimate department store. Target ain't legitimate? Not where you're buying cologne or spray. Yeah, but he's not buying it.

He's fucking, he's jammed up. I was jammed up. Smells like an ashtray. His wife might yell at him. He might have a hot date. Something he's got to fucking. Sure, I was, I mean, I think you've done this as well. When we were jammed up back in the day,

if I had like an audition, I'd stop at CVS and hit a little bit of hairspray. I saw that one. Clean up a little bit. Yeah, I've seen that before for sure. Yeah, just a spritz or two. Getting some goopy in your hair. Yeah, what I was going to say is if I'm.

I would brush my teeth. If I'm in a Macy's, I'm definitely stopping by the cologne for a little spritz. See what's going on. Yeah, that's different though. This guy's, you're saying if you're in a Macy's. Yes. He's going, I'm going to target the freshen up.

Jesus. Which? Tough luck. You're smart. You got to be fucking, you got to stay on your toes out there. I used to do that in high school. I'd go to the Publix right by my parents' house, get the blown off me.

Yeah, you had to do something. Dry your sheets, something. Shake that sticky off me a little bit. Like shaking a tail. I hate the way Ax smells. That powdery smell. I mean, we were in high school when it dropped, and that marketing campaign had a bunch of fucking

10s chasing the guy who sprayed it on him. So that Jim Locker room, softmore year, junior year. Hi, Cory. Don't play the match. I'll pay that much. That smell of high school BO and Ax body spray. Yikes. That was fucking rough.

We were using Dracar back in my days before all that body spray shit dropped. Yeah. Old school. Couple of those. Clean as a whistle. Man, I can imagine the fucking stench coming off of you. Fucking Cheetos.

We used to shower after Jim. We didn't have to. Why just up? Also, you didn't shower after the Jim today. This is full circle. There's no chicks in here. Fucking shit. Put some broads in here.

I'll come in fresh. Still, for some reason, for some how you even made that the glory days, I used to shower after the Jim. Back in high school, I had it all. I would even shower. I think we did maybe in 7th and 8th grade. Talk about living in the glory. 7th and 8th grade, like the kids were still

showering after gym class. But yeah, I don't think we did it in high school. We didn't shower at all. We also didn't have to swim. And that was the big thing. You'd have to get in the pool in your little fucking in your banana hammock. Well, I used to love that.

We had a nice indoor pool, go over to the middle school, hop in, swim around a little bit. It was nice. It's been like chlorine for us today. In the middle of the day, that seems fucking bananas to me. They can't still be doing that. There's no way. Do they still have gym class?

They don't? Yeah, they still have gym. He'll be shook his head like. They stopped dodgeball when I was in it. And I remember one teacher hard-nosed fucking old, like if you had to paint a gym teacher, it was this guy. He once told me, and I'll never forget, he goes, you're in shape if you could go to work,

go to school, come home, eat dinner, and go to bed. And I was like, all right, that's all I need to hear. That was his gauge of health. I said, my man, let's go. You can do an episode of Matlock, you're all right. And they were supposed to teach us. There was that. And he was supposed to.

He was our health teacher, so he had to do sex ed. And he was just like, I ain't doing it. We've got a banana and a condom or something. And he was like, I ain't doing it. I said, hey, buddy, respect. He's smoking. Mr. something old, not Mr. Whitmer. Mr. Whitmer was our gym teacher in elementary school.

We had Mr. Smith. Yeah. It was like B.A. Barakas. Get your shirt tails in and your shoes tied up. That's all he said. You didn't have that shit done when that whistle blew. You were running some laps, maybe. Well, our day at that right now.

At elementary school, our gym was also the cafeteria. That's a tough one. So you'd be playing basketball and they're cooking sloppy joes at 9 AM. I wanted to puke every fucking day. It's socked. Sitting there fucking. First of all, I got a fucking belly full of cinnamon

toast crunch, and they got fucking red meat cooking. And he's telling me to jump rope. It's like, buddy, pick one here, man. Hey, you guys want to give me 20 minutes when you put the stroganoff on? Still taste my coffee here. We got a close game over here, man. Oh, man.

That's a tough look. I used to love swimming, though. OK. Go over there. It'll be all right. That's good for you. I used to love swimming. Especially in the winter, it was always cozy in there.

Love that smell of an indoor pool, too. I always, yes, but I also. We used to walk by. Remember we walked by the one on 24th Street? Of course. A big fan of the indoor pool smell. But, yeah, I mean, I didn't want to be doing that fat guy, that tight little sack

on him, fucking running around in those hands. I bet you got in the water real quick. I got my swim jeans on. And they're in a blazer. I bet you got two. What, I don't want to get sunburned. It's an indoor pool, you bald idiot. Ah, you stink.

But they annexed it when I, the year I moved to high school, axed it. The year I moved, I said, talk about dodging a bullet. Hatchy-matchy. No more dodgeball? I think they stopped dodgeball my senior year. There was talks of it or some places we're doing it because it separates

the weak from the strong or something like that. I don't know. All right, let's see here. Another air sent one. This is from Sheep, $10 homie, first time, long time. Is it garbage to get an air freshener for your car then say, fuck it and hang it in your apartment instead? I don't hate that.

What? It's trashy. Yes. No. There's something you read. One of the trees? You reach a. If you walk into apartment and somebody's got a tree in there.

They're selling weed, that's drug dealer shit right there. Yeah, I mean, there gets to a certain point where at a certain age, where your brain switch, at least it did for me, your brain chemistry switches over and like that fake scent, it smells good when you're young. You're like, oh, this, but like that fake scent in a house or something.

Sure. You got to go candle. You got to go pot parade. It gets too fucking fake nowadays. We're rocking this thing now called Pura, I think. You plug it in, it's like a subscription. Give that a goog, Pura air freshener. I think it's PUR or something.

The broad runs essential oils, it ain't bad. Really? Got the diffuser with the essential oils pumping. Get some lavender, some citrus. Yeah, those are nice. Real fucking nice. The dog barks at it, it's a whole thing. That was a glade plug-in, man, myself.

Yeah, it said I used to wear it as a pager. Back in the day. Kim, let's talk about base. Turn off the base. I ain't talking about your grandmom's Mitsubishi either. All right, you're talking about I clay's luggage here. Gag, if you're tired of having somebody sit on your luggage

so you can zip it up because your shirts are too big or whatever you got going on, that's usually my deal. Sounds like a personal problem. Base bags are sleek, affordable, so you can travel effortlessly by looking like a hot shot, which is what life is all about. Think until you make it, baby. Sure. They thought of everything you could want in a piece of luggage.

Check this out. They got 360 degree gliding wheels, a cushion handle, a built-in weight indicator. Now, that's a fucking game changer. You got to steer clear of that thing, buddy. They'll be charging you for luggage over just left and right. You're going to have 80 stickers on you. Come out in the oversized luggage carrier.

Gang, they're fantastic. They sent us the Weekend Duffel Bag. It's taken a little compartment for the shoes. They're tight, man. They're tight. It's great because I'm a weird guy, so I don't like my dirty shoes around my clean clothes. I'm not dessert.

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That's base. One more time. Get a pencil right down. B-E-I-S, travel.com, slash garbage. Now, back to that gosh darn show. Back to the show. All right, let's see here. This one's from Hachi Macho Man.

Is it garbage to use out-of-date products like bread or corn to go fishing with? That was like the first time you went fishing. We used corn. Yeah, corn, hot dogs. Little corn niblets, hot dogs. Pieces of bread. Sounds like an all right lunch to me, if I'm being honest.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. What's fucking to happen? How do you say we fuck these fish and get a couple of cans of coke out of here? Let the sunnies fend for themselves. They'll do all right. I'm trying to get my lunch on. Yeah.

Yeah, corn. Corn was big. Yeah, corn and hot dogs. I mean, that's still, because it was hard to get your hands on fucking nightcrawlers or bloodworms. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I did get those things. I think I might have mentioned this.

There was a bait vending machine in my town. Like a soda machine, but with live bait, you would go put a dollar in and get a can of fucking worms or whatever. Kevin, get out of there. Ha, ha, ha, I've got my hand up. Trying to get it. Shaking it.

Yeah, but that was great. You were in a jam in the morning. You got to go get bait. Sure. Go. I think it was Robinson's bait and tackle. You know what I remember? The first time you held the fish,

remember the sunnies? They would have to go down with the spikes. The spikes? Yeah. God damn. Those things were like, you know what I'm talking about? You ever went fishing before? Yeah, but not.

I don't know anything about spikes. On the scales, on the fins of the fish. The back fin that would go up. They're spiky. They're spiky. So you have to grab it by the head. I can't see you going fishing. I don't know why.

And pull it down so that, you know, imagine like a switchblade kind of. Like you're like pushing the blade. You're pushing the blade down so it can't. Fish suck. No, fish are pretty sweet. Yeah, fish are sweet. You know what we have?

We have a fucking, I don't know where it would fit, but I got a marlin, a stuffed marlin. And I don't know where it would go though. Bring it in. I don't know where it would go. It's pretty fucking sweet. Yeah, bring that in. The one that's in the shore house?

Yeah, bring that in. That's pretty fucking sweet. We need something for over by the fucking dartboard. That's a bit, no, it's bigger than that. It would be like one of the biggest things on set. Really? It's big. We're going to go up there.

Where? Up top in the middle, above the pitcher. Maybe. I like it. It's pretty cool. Yeah, that's real cool. Shout, I didn't know you had that. Yeah.

Bring that in. Scoop that up this weekend. Giggle and marlin, all right, let's see. This is from Uncle Knots. Is it trash to use a slice of bread as a napkin? That's fun, especially if you're eating Italian food. I've done it. Yeah, of course, of course.

I mean, essentially bread at the end of a pasta dish, you're fucking. Sure. You're busting the table, baby. Put it all on there. You know how you used to love bread? Sure. But we'd have spaghetti, and we were so trashy.

We wouldn't have. Sometimes, every once in a while, we'd do a nice loaf of Italian bread, cut it up, whatever it was. That started when I was in junior high high school. But let me tell you something, a piece of fresh piece of white bread with some butter on it, make that into a little sandwich,

and then give it a little wiper on the bowl. Oh, yeah, that was a good chunk of growth. That would even use hamburger buns and shit like that. That's all you got. Great. OK, we're in a freezer from 4th of July. It's now like fucking March. Mopping up your rigatoni with a hot dog roll.

Shout out to it. Yeah, I remember as a kid, we used to have, we'd have like a half a loaf of white bread, just on a little plate in the middle of the table with the butter there. Yeah, maybe. Make it sleepy. Looking for night night.

That's when I used to do marginal on a slice of fucking Strowman's king size white bread. Fucking put you right out. I used to watch my stepdad put it on like meticulously. Like it was like icing on a cake, like just fucking. There was always something about the way dads would prepare their little, you know, their thing. Just the pepper, everything's made it look really good.

Glassy. Yeah, pepper, real glassy. Are you a pepper guy? Use pepper? Is that a real question? Some people don't use pepper. Sometimes you're turning into a cartoon yourself. Cubby, you like salt?

I've never seen you use pepper. What are you talking about? We've been friends for 10 years. I've never seen you ask for the pepper grinder. I do like a gentleman. First of all, we don't eat at places where they have pepper grinders. What are you talking about?

We usually eat at diners, and that's about it. Fair enough. A pepper packet? Love a pepper packet. Fuck out a bottle. Remember Cassidy's old joke? Yeah. Insert here.

And that was Tom Cassidy, folks. Tommy C. This one's from Mulp. Is it garbage if you invite your two favorite comedians to your wedding in hopes they politely decline but send a gift instead? Respect the attempt, my friend. I might show up to that, depending on where it is.

That'd be all right. If we just go get fucked up at someone's wedding. Not we're going to embarrass anybody. Yes, I will embarrass somebody. No. I'd be a gentleman. That'd be nice. To be at a wedding where there's no attachment or affiliation.

It's all right. Would be nice. It's all right. When you have a real loose one, you're like, I don't fucking care. You're just lying at the dinner table and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just fucking making shit. Micro processes.

Making shit up. They don't know. You'll never see this fucking guy again. I was just saying shit like, oh, encryption? That don't work. That don't work. I trust you. What you need is a VPN.

I'm going to get some more salmon. You guys want anything? You guys want a drink? No one's ever asked me to a wedding like that. I've never been somebody's date to a wedding where I didn't know anybody. Huh. That's a bull there, huh?

Bro, lady killer. Thank you. Thank you as a force of nature on the dance floor. All right, let's see here. This one's from Peter. Is it garbs you to use the glass tray and the microwave as a plate? Man, you are jammed up.

That's always got something on it, though. That's never clean. And even when it's a little bit of hot dog or something in there. Even when it's clean, it's still oil. Like, yeah, it doesn't dry like a plate shit. Something happens in that microwave. Moisture really builds up in there.

Yeah, man. It's fucking bouncing the atoms. It's like a rainforest or something. Yeah, I don't fuck with it. I don't as much of a disgusting human being as I am, which is well-documented here on this program. Yeah, I don't like that at all. Can't do it.

Always put a plate in there. I will set something on top of the plastic thing that everybody has now. We've never had one. My mom has one now, but we never had one. Oh, we never had one growing up. That was like $1 million. But now, I'll throw fucking whatever on top of that thing.

On top of it? Yeah, I'll leave that in there when I heat stuff up and just put it on top. Do you know what I'm talking about? It looks like a bowl. And you're supposed to put that over. Sure, but why do you put it on top of it? Just because I'm lazy.

Just set it on there. OK, I thought you were saying it had some sort of. I just didn't understand. No, just pure laziness. Throw a couple of diesels on there. Keep it moving. Oh, yeah, this is a lot to do. This is killing me.

They crunch up, too. Now, you wrap diesels. I would wrap some hot dogs in a paper towel. That's all right. That'll fucking, that'll get you cooking in there, too. Never. Do you go hot dog in the bun, paper towel? No.

What? That's a Dr. D move. My pops runs that for days, dude. Wait a minute, wait a minute. What? Oh, yeah. He's cooking the bun for two. Come out like a brick.

No. Probably moistened. Probably softened it up a bit. Nice and soft and warm, baby. Wait a minute. You can't cook the hot dog in the bun at the same temperature for the same time. The hot dog's got to be cooking longer.

He's got a damn PhD. You're a pretty hot dog. You're telling me. What? You're going to just fucking act like I didn't do that? Are you fucking kidding me? That's egregious. He's got a pretty hot diesel over there.

PhD. Not bad. I'm fascinated by this. This doesn't make sense to me. It's got dogs on a brain. Yeah. That's crazy. No, probably the moisture from the hot dog

softens up the bun. It all gets nice and cozy. No. Yes, I'm telling you. That's what happens. The hot dog needs to be cooked for at least two minutes. No. What?

That is a lie. I would put two Oscar Mayer cheese dogs sometimes in the bun, but not always just on a paper plate. Easy minute. Done. Out the door. And I would stop it. But even a regular bun, a minute.

That's why you have the paper towel to add a protective layer. Huh. Because think about it. You know when you get like a. I'll need to see his research. You get a hot dog, get a ball game. Sure. It goes in that sleeve.

That's pretty much serving as the same thing. But are they cooking that like that? No, they're not cooking. I don't know how they're cooking. But I'm saying that's retaining the heat and making the bun soft. That's what the paper towels do. Sure, sure, sure. I got you.

You know what we can do now? Then we have the addition. Yeah. We can do the fucking hot dog. The hot dog, the best hot dog taste test. Oh. Boil it. Hot dog cook off.

Hot dog, boil it, toaster, microwave. Skill it. Skill it. What are you, a hot plate? Yeah, you get a hot plate. That's happening. I'm down. That's the next Patreon video we're doing.

The hot dog cook off. The indoor hot dog cook off. Maybe get an expert in here too. A hot dog expert? Yeah, like a dance odor or somebody that likes a nice hot dog that lives in the neighborhood. There you go. I like it.

All right, let's see here. It's falling down. This is from Brian. Ever take Adderall before going to a bar to do bar games, such as Darts, Big Buck, Hunter, Silver Striker, Golden T. He says it's viewed as a performance enhancing drug, which I do agree with. Sure.

But hey, unless if fucking if you saw it, it doesn't get you. I'll allow it. I assume all you kids are on Adderall. I don't touch the stuff. That's your generation. I get high on life. We had a Riddlin' when I was a kid. Yeah, it's the same shit.

Same drug. They fucked up and gave me that once. How's a quick weekend? I can close those refills down real quick. Yeah, that's tough. But it's also like those games are meant to be drank. You know what I mean? If you're drinking.

Sure. I started shooting better in the Big Buck thing on Patreon when I had a couple of two-tree beers in me. But you're saying if you're taking the Adderall, you're more focused. That might be a detriment. Sure. You're overthinking it.

Yeah. It's ain't finals. Yeah. Either way, you're a dirt ball. Take an Adderall and go to a bar. But it gives you a steady shot to each their own. I can't judge you. All right, this one's from Eric B.

First time, long time, never have one red, ever smoke Marlboro blacks. No, but you know what somebody is? Are they those short little Johns? They must be. They look like mint chocolate chip or something to me. I don't know. I mean, I got to get eyes on them.

You're thinking of Marlboro menthol. No, I'm not. You got to be hemmed up. I used to smoke those. Really? Marlboro menthols. Whoa, I don't think you were. Marlboro menthol lights.

How long did you work at the beauty pile? Well, Milds was the original and best. The Marlboro Mild was the navy blue pack. Did you smoke something weird when I met you? Or was that our buddy John Nunn? I think smoked like 62. No, he smoked 27s. Yeah.

Yeah, which I have some associates to smoke 27s. Somebody brought up this last night, camel wides. Do you remember those? Oh, yeah. The 72s, the 72 gauge. It was always like the hot chicks always smoked those. I don't know why. Hot chicks and like pot dealers always had camel wides.

I haven't thought about that in 20 years. It was like smoking a colored pencil, man. Those things stunk, man. I fucking hated those things. Yeah, two, three drags off of those. I'd be gagging. What are Marlboro Blacks? Do you have a, what flavor?

Marlboro Blacks is a variety of special blend, usually cheaper than regulars. Yeah. Menthol and regular flavored. Lighter, but bolder than original Reds. Wait, there's a little bit of menthol in there? I guess. Like a camel.

Somebody handed me a camel crush the other night at the bar. Fucking punched him in the face to totally get out of town. Man, begging for a headache. Yeah, that ain't great. Those things stink. This sounds like it's made up of just clippings. Yeah, it's whatever, you know. Marlboro Blacks?

Yeah, they're just sweeping up what's on the factory floor. Charge them a nickel. A little bit of menthol. I don't trust that at all. No. Sometimes it could be a good twang. You know what I mean? A little bit, sure.

A little dabble, do you? My buddy had the best argument for not smoking hundreds. He was like, more, same price? I don't think so. That's how they get you. Which I was always told it was the same amount of tobacco just not as packed. Either way, you look weird smoking them.

My grandma, my fucking stepmom used to fucking Marlboro like one of the hundies. Heavy bike in the purple and trepid, whip and work. Playing Bob Seeker, greatest hits, side A and B. Those things hang low. Low, heavy, they're heavy, but it's like a baseball bat. You got a Louisville slugger hanging out of your mouth, fucking, busting a Uy.

This one's just fun. This is from Kevin P. Riddle me this, what if the long hair is lion? I don't trust them myself. The long hair ain't lion, folks. That's a good time. All right, this one's from Chowder Stash. It does a personal attack.

Is it garbage to tell everyone your Peloton username and not use it for the entire month of March, looking at you, baldy? I'm back on it. Check out the stats. Other people can see? Yeah, I'm public, baby. What?

We got a group. We're about maybe 100 strong, hashtag RU garbage on Peloton, check me out, I'm king of the board. He is all working out at the same time? Yeah, everybody comes over. No, do you all take a class together? How does that work? They all come over.

We get my bedroom. They're all sweaty. Talk about Axe bodies, bro. What? No, you can just track. You can, I guess, I don't know. I don't really communicate with anybody. So you haven't been on the Peloton in a month?

I didn't tell you until from March until we were building the studio. I'm back on it, though, baby. Kid's back on it. I think I did seven out of the past nine days. There you go. S my D, everybody. How long you going?

How long are you riding? I do a half hour. Shout out to Alex Toussaint. I do 30 minute hip hop rides. And he's telling you to do different shit throughout it. Cup the balls. No, yeah. Hop on the pegs.

They control the speed. You ever catch a downhill coast a little bit? No. Oh, really? I'm trying to do a little cruising. That's what they need. They need a beach cruiser model on that shit. Hop on someone's pegs for a minute.

That's how you're going to get people on there. Places tanking, ain't they? No, they're fucking killing it. They're doing good? Yeah, you change the resistance. Like, you're like, this is a fucking fight. Do they know if you don't? No.

You know, though. Sure. Which I'm OK with. You and your girl pushups. I was doing some girl pushups today. O'Connor walked in. I was mid-girl pushups. He does like an Ironman workout.

You got your yoga pants on. Oh, hey, Chris. You got a yoga mat and a smoothie. Oh, hey, Chris. Man, the difference between my workout and O'Connor's workout is wild. He's like in budge training. His doesn't have cheeseburgers, I presume.

A little piece of iron, that kid. But I'm back. Shout out to the We Got an Army of Garbage. I think it's just hashtag R U Garbage. Everybody signs up. You check in. You can high five the whole nine yards. Oh, I highly recommend it if you're on there.

Check the kid out. Keep me. Nose is running. Keep me intact. I keep the, you know, the, what is it? Keep me honest. Keep me honest. Impossible.

Good luck, nerds. Many have tried. You're just putting Hans on the bike. Tuesday's numbers, kid. So it comes with cleats with like a little click it, like, you know, they're like tap shoes, kind of. Sure. They look like European shoes.

You know those shoes all those European guys wear? You're wearing them out. But they got a little thing on. And you can't walk. You feel like a real bozo prancing around in those. It's a tough look. Clacking all over the apartment. They're like reverse high heels.

The toes are up because there's something under them. Oh, really? Yeah. So you're like walking around. I remember, you know, the Seinfeld episode with those, with those sneakers. Jimmy. Sure.

I just watched it. Yeah, my brother and his friends had a pair of them. They shared them. They thought they were going to be dunking nothing. Dunking their balls in each other's mouth. Man, I remember when those things rolled on the scene, they were in the back of the garage, fucking all looking at him.

Like, yeah, this is going to change the game. Good luck shooting underhand. Kick rocks those things. I hope you have all your leg strength on the bench. You'll lose that. They wore them in school to try to, like, strengthen their legs, see them coming down. Fucking b-bopping and scatting.

I think that kid that walked on his tippy toes. Buddy, relax. Closer with some brawn in her locker. That was big, and it's coming down the hallway. Our version of those would be soap shoes. Remember soap shoes? Soap shoes had grind plates in them. You guys wore wheelies.

Look at how heelys. Heelys. Kids, like, that was, like, five years ago. That was, like, not that long ago. I could have swore your generation was zipping around in those things. No, I mean, not mine. Mine was.

Yeah, that's more T-boned. There was a dad in the neighborhood pushing him heavy, and we come to find out that he got a job distributing them. So he was trying to just make sales around the neighborhood. Hey, Toby, we're on the street in June. We don't have a set of heelys. I bet these chicks will hook up if you get a set of heelys. See those girls over there?

Tell them if you had a cool pair of wheelies, you'd be all right. Did you get a pair? No, never. But soap shoes, well, they were soaps, right? Yeah. They were, like, skate shoes with, like, a grind plate in them. To do what? So you could, like, run and, like, grind on, like, a handrail or something.

That's pretty cool. They were tough to come. I think you had to order them through the mail, and this is, like, before they weren't at store. Yeah, you had to put that you were a virgin in writing for them to send them to you. What did skateboarders think of those? Not like them.

The lamest thing ever made? That's lame? Yeah, dude. OK. I thought it was pretty cool. I was like, I mean, I was. Hey, Luke, cancel that Amazon order. Luke, if a box of soaps comes, it ain't for me, all right?

Just put it in my bag. I'll return them. They're tooties. Also, I was in fifth grade, maybe. I didn't know what cool was. Sure. You know what I mean? But I did.

My buddy, my buddy Justin had them. Nothing went in. What? That's what I did. Your buddy Justin had them. He had a pair, and we would use them during recess. You'd swap them? What do you mean?

You would put them on, too? Yeah. So you would take your shoes off, put his shoes on, and then go grind on some rails. Sure. Press the check, dude. I fall off. Man.

Yeah. I always made two flippies to make fun of. He's so bad. Ah! I would make the same noise every time. Sounds like a female tennis player. Yeah, it's a lot of that. It's like a kippy Williams over here.

All right, let's see here. We'll do two more, and then we got to fucking ramp it up, dear gang. This one's from Ariana. Have you ever done the worm? Man, let me tell you something. If I could go back, I would have loved to have been one of those guys.

I didn't have the abdominal strength to pull that off. If you could do the worm, that shit was fucking cool. Maybe more in your time. Oh, that's when it hit. What do you mean? There was a kid that could do it, Jimmy. I grew up in the middle of breakdancing, and I couldn't break shit.

You were over there eating nightcrolls. I couldn't do anything. Man, somebody at the seventh or eighth grade dance would fucking get a circle, hit the floor, and fucking knock out a worm. God damn. That kid was getting laid. I don't think, uh, yeah.

Took me the whole dance to build up the courage to ask somebody to dance, and it was a slow one. I'd have a whole stinger going. Been there. Can't get too close, man. Did you have school dance? I can't imagine what your school dances were like. No, no dance.

We did play a reform school in soccer one time. They didn't have jerseys. And they had this one guy who had to have been 375 pounds. He was massive, this dude. And they whooped our ass like seven to one, and they were celebrating after the game, and he went to do a backflip. And it looked like he wasn't going to make it.

He went to catch himself with his hands, almost like a back handspring. And I was like, oh, this fucking idiot trying to backflip his fat piece of shit, lands on his hands, backflips, into the worm. I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever fucking done. That guy doing the worm.

Backflip into the worm. Crazy. Love the worm. You couldn't do it, right? The worm. Yeah, no. But I'd imagine maybe you could. I can't even do the mashed potato.

You could worm and move across the floor? Wait, is this one of Tobias you've done it, or you think you can do it? I know. I know for a fact I can. You've done it. Not know for a fact, because you've done it. OK.

It's not hard. I mean, yes it is. It's not easy. You don't see people doing it in the grocery store. It's not like. It was easy. Everybody would be moving down the street as worms. What are you talking about?

We'd all be fucking doing this shit. It's hard as shit. There was like one kid in every three schools that could do it. You're trying to do it. You're just rocking back and forth like a boat. That's what I look like. I can do this slug pretty good. I try to.

Is that a thing? Try to get sweaty when I'm laying down. They pour salt on you. They would do it as a kid, pour salt on a slug. Yeah. Oh man. Looking back. Isn't it a snail?

Do you salt the snail? Slugs. Snails. Who the fuck had snails around? I think we had snails. You had snail in the shell? Yeah, I think so. Really?

Maybe not. I don't know. I would have freaked out if I would have saw one of those things. Why? You couldn't just kept walking. I don't trust it. I don't trust snails. I don't know why.

They got the shell. It's weird. I like a slug. Nice rainstorm slug. Fly, dyes, salt. It's a little bit of a hot sauce. Hold your nose right down a hatch. Couple of slug shooters.

I like mine with cocktail sauce. All right. This one is from Colleen. Is it garbage or bring a box fan into a hotel room? Oh man, that is fucking. You shouldn't be moving those, man. They belong where they are. That's fucking tough.

But I do respect it because it's like a helicopter in the room, dude. Those things move units. Oh man. You have to put something. You have to put that up against something. The best thing is if you can prop it against the floor and the wall. Yes. To get up.

Create an atmosphere. Man. Create a trade window. I've been woken up in the middle of the night and I panic when that thing falls over. Oh dude. It's like a chopper going down. Fuck that. I mean, I told you before I had an air conditioner in my old apartment.

I had, I put cold water in that. I remember this. I mean, I didn't have an air conditioner in that first apartment in the heights I was living in. Yeah. Not with my friend when I got my own. And Nadine was still in Germany. Sure, sure, sure. The place used to Airbnb.

Yes. Yes. And I didn't have it. So I filled up the wall. It was like 118 degrees. I was on the sixth floor, fifth floor. It was so fucking hot. I was, I'd wake up delirious.

Like, actually delirious. No ice machine, nothing. Wake up drinking. Ice machine. I'm drinking warm water to try to hydrate. Couldn't even cool down. Couldn't even cool my inside. How did you put it in the fridge?

I don't know, man. I was making a lot of bad decisions back then. And I thought this was going to work. I had a box fan. I spent 12 bucks on a box fan that I probably financed or something to get it. And I filled the tub up with cold water, I think, and then put the fan in front of that, thinking it would blow cooler air on me. And it did work a little bit until the fan fell in the tub and I blew out the block.

Fucking torched the grid. I was like, Enron, dude, I was shutting down power grids. Kind of deal with the mayor's office. Fucking Comptroller got all of you. Charges are still pending. All right, we got to wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. RUgarbage.com.

Check out the merch drop. Check it out. You can grab your tickets there, too. That's going to be the one stop shop for all your AYG needs. That's everything, baby. We've got RUgarbage.com has all the tickets for the live shows. It's got the merch right now. Get it while supplies last.

That's just a marketing tool. It'll always be available. Gang, we love you and we'll see you next week. Peace.