Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Akaash Singh Returns!

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Kippy & Foley are joined by good pal Akaash Singh for a HOT one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys.  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage  Subscribe on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-garbage-comedy-podcast/id1499140700 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

gang the middle-class famous tour is about to be in full effect come out and see us it's a great way to introduce some new people to the show so grab the homies grab the ladies the birds the bozos everybody and come see us yeah guys we're going to be in Hartford Albany Syracuse Atlanta Tampa Orlando Pittsburgh Buffalo we ain't done yet Detroit Denver Phoenix Salt Lake City check out go then over there to roseman and that's just the first leg of the tour gonna be coming so get the techies we'll see you there welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley hey everybody out there and

welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is our you garbage it's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that a figure to be classy yeah or to just a big old piece of trash i'm your hostage foley coming at you on a glorious day down here at antony's basement yeah she is officially off probation good for her so we got that going to break out a little champagne later okay do a little drinking and driving back in a roundhouse my co-host is coming at you from right next to me he is the CEO of are you garbage he is an international businessman he is not to be trifled with they say he's the guy that brought down Merrill Lynch but we'll never know i'm more of an in round man give it up for kj hey gang thanks

for tuning in as always please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube and as you know those numbers are through the roof fucking cooking and obviously i'm contractually obligated by law i think it's a federal law now to mention patreon.com slash are you garbage yes sir the greatest website of all time you get signed up you get bonus content episodes a yg episodes of hard feelings live streams the whole fucking nine yards check it the fuck out check it the fuck out and having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the man who makes us all look good puts the lipstick on the piggies give it up for t-bone Mcscruffins toby mcbuggins what's up dude what's up t-bone bug freeze the way to be here we go i was going

to say something about how akash makes me feel talented and loved and you make me feel like a that's my goal buddy you're the best you're the best because i love you all right foley what made you pick turquoise as a beanie it's not you i'm not gonna i'm not gonna deal with this on my own podcast ridiculous dang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back with us again today he's a part of the goddamn family yeah all right co-host of flagrant two got a brand new special that came out last night it's already cooking it's called bring back apu yeah you know him you love him give it up for akash thank you thank you attacking my style thank you foley turquoise not me it just doesn't seem ontody i think it

pops ontody wouldn't buy turquoise i feel like beaver take it from goodwill but i don't think she would buy she also drinks cooking wine i'm not doing that i'm not taking my fashion tips from her up there drinking marcella wine on the rocks on the rocks i think you're losing a little weight a little losing a little weight we're not doing away and we're not checking the weight for at least a month or so it would be pretty good right now though i just remind we have the scale under the couch not gonna why why it's redistributing i don't know what that's all his ankles his shoes won't tie my trainer just squeezes me every day put you in a corset every day like a wet towel but he's been hitting the gym i'm very proud of him he's been hitting

the gym it's not a trainer you look good thank you man thank you thank you we're trying we're trying here how's it guys three months into the therapy three months oh therapy therapy we're about three months in five the trainer we're two months in so it's been good that's great and a lot of it from you buddy you you you encourage me well you put the fucking screws to me is what you did and you put it in their mind to for me to get a trainer and now i'm now it's fucking hard as shit keep his entire future kippy give me some his entire future is tethered to you think about that fat guys are a dime a dozen there's a pizza place right around a corner i'll just have Ian fighting start bulking up and you'll be out too sweet start putting

creatine in his pellegrino can't eat it all bulked up now you and Ian got good chemistry too but y'all's chemistry is fucking phenomenal thank you and it doesn't work if you keep being fat he's i think wait i've painted him i mean we do on uh on patreon we do i'm in the tightest corner i've ever been we do fact i'm still pulling some moves every once in a while yeah he's got a couple of buddy every corner is a type of cheeseburgers up my sleeve uh but he has i'm very i'm very proud of him to get the ball rolling and that's great to be where you are three days a week at the gym i got a uh four days at arby's are my off day the gym is that new diner on 46th street by the way um and yeah walking the rest of the time the the diet is you know something that we're slowly

kind of you know modifying yeah that's not about going to the front yeah it's about making decisions like my trainer was saying if you get a cheeseburger don't get the fries or if you get a cheeseburger who is your fucking trainer yeah that's the worst crazy if you get a cheeseburger don't get the fries put down the burger you fat fuck go to geifiery physical therapy take you to flavor town baby emerald also works there bang no just you know it's a it's a it's a process it's a process yeah you know there's some steps forward there's some steps back but you know that's the way it goes i mean

you're giving a fucking there is no trainer i've been lying all time i'm in a rebuilding season that's what we're doing so you're talking like you just lost a super bowl i got a couple of good prospects in the g league right now though thank you that foley just read us his December 31st instagram caption from when he didn't lose weight therapy a lot of steps forward a lot of steps backward i'm a working progress you know i look like a human boomerang so i can go back and forth knew me in 2023 gang you got to spesh yes sir let's talk yeah man i put out my first special i'm super excited about it i ran it you guys saw it well i've seen it a good amount of times but yeah i ran it uh one of the days i filmed it was i had y'all featuring for me yes right

at stress at the stress factory that's what they should call right yeah stress factory so i put it out it's called bring back a poo and i wanted to put it out pre pandemic and then obviously you couldn't do stand-up for a year and i was thinking after the pandemic was over i was like i want to make sure i still felt this way about things and i was still passionate about it and i was so as i got my legs back underneath me stand-up wise i was like this is it this was the special let's put it out about a half hour ish and the idea is all kind of centered around this this whole uh privilege conversation that we have where like we say like white men have all the privilege and to me it's like bro if you're in america you probably got a lot of privilege yeah i know yeah

and look i'm gonna say one time i know black people this isn't really applied to y'all because y'all been systemically fucked everybody else you are lucky to be here my parents told me about every day how lucky i was to be in america and not how they grew up rubbing your face in that son they would make me feel like rubbing your face in a pop tart fucker 100 percent my mom told me when she came to this country before she came her cousins told her this is what they there was no internet it was the 60s or whatever 50s they said that when you turn on the faucets in america honey comes out because that's what they thought america and that's where they were coming this is a fully uh fuck that was a fat joke i'm gonna get it out god damn it

they started flying in my head too quick i was gonna i wasn't gonna ask you what neighborhood you're talking about i think i know where i'm moving to i remember i knew i was fat when i was a kid we talked about the land of milk and honey remember that yeah and that would just make me so hungry horny you mean fully stop that show you teach no but i get uh and i see like indians kind of talking about white male privilege and this and that and i'm like yo you sound so fucking thankless to me you sound like a spoiled brat you sound like a kid in a two-story house complaining about a kid in a gated community and it's like yo shut the fuck up you got a house you have a beautiful house you have a beautiful family most likely a beautiful culture so i'm mainly

talking to my people people that are from where i'm from but i think a lot of immigrant kids hopefully this will resonate with them and then anybody who's just a fan of me in general and like comedy that's not supposed to be on the quote-unquote right side of what you know it's a little edgy this guy's a little edgy if we're not edgy we're not having fun you know if i'm saying i've seen a couple people leave your show mid-show have i ever cared no one of them was because of you what are you talking about was that was that oh yeah you walk somebody in my show hey insulted some jets surely there's something like that you know her her husband was like the special team coach of the jets she's like do you know who my husband is i'm like nobody knows here's

they're the jets dog that you're threatening me with a kicker kicker yeah i'm like what's you're gonna not let me walk on next season get the fuck out of here good for you i love walking people that's the best dude get out go it hurts me i'm not a big fan of it but still please don't leave i'm sorry no you're gonna get more as you get to do this more i didn't get to headline till like 2020 i was like 12 years in so in a certain sense i had a lot of growing to do but a certain sense i was pretty refined as a comic sure of course in one way i was refined is like i don't people are gonna get up and get that's fine that's gonna happen but as you get more confident in your ability and as you start headlining more and you strengthen that muscle

people leaving won't attack your insecurity as much because it's like oh i'm funny so you can leave if you want to not all of you are gonna find me funny that's that's fine yeah you're very okay with that i'm not which we are not okay with that i'm up there tap dancing mommy love me dog i follow him to the parking lot do a show just for them you want to talk about therapy this some therapy shit and this is so hacky comic talk but it's a literal thought i used to have in my head when they would be calling me on stage eastville was the only club i was passed in for the longest and they'd be calling me up on like a thursday friday night or friday saturday night packed show i swear the exact words that were coming into my head as i was about to go on stage where

i hope these people don't realize i'm a complete phony right oh yeah and then the second about that today and then the second they don't laugh your brain that voice starts going holy shit they're finding out yeah and then you start talking fast and cussing more if you think they think it they might as well think yes yeah and you're listening most people don't pick up on it but you will listen back to that set and be like oh how'd i do that and i've learned i legit this is so corny but before i go on stage i will say something that andrew used to say probably doesn't need to anymore but i am good enough they don't dictate whether or not i'm good enough they could not like me that doesn't mean i'm not good enough they don't have that power so i just go up there and then

when they don't laugh these guys are millionaires and not us dude we're in the back i'm like we both suck why these people here don't talk to me get on stage before we start the car i usually ask if my stomach's hanging out of the bottom of my shirt i literally have to i had to tie his shoes at the grandmasy theater like three weeks ago i'm not even fucking around yo that's what we're doing new pants they were new pants let me ask you all a question i'm not even you two are doing fucking pep talks i'm literally tying his shoes fucking carry these over here and you can blink this out if you want to i'm gonna ask you a question answer it how much a month do you all make on patreon it's funny you bring that up uh it's uh we make 24 000 there you fucking go

you think some bum ass what you told me five god damn it dump it dump it you think some bum ass war 20 you think some bum ass not worth it not good enough human beings are gonna make 24k a month on patreon you think people are gonna sign up over everybody's no fuck that shit you're talking about pop tarts what are you doing that shit we're both actually british which is weird and then y'all got it a lot of people want to come on flagrant too we put y'all on just not not everybody got it honestly you and not everybody has it y'all together really got it but individually you got it too otherwise it wouldn't work together so you got to tell yourself that and a lot of your fans you're like that's stupid this kid y'all do that shit too fuck everybody and yourself

whenever you're like nine shit that has been the biggest thing that's held me back in my entire life and as i work on it everything changes it is so corny i write myself the fucking notes i'm good enough before i go on stage i will literally type out they could not laugh that's okay it does happen to a lot of it happens it is it will happen to me and a lot of girls prefer i bought my ass off at city winery this summer and i was i was fucked up for a couple of hours but then after now i look back and it's so funny bombing and retrospect is always so funny retrospect it's still it's you got the heat on you when you walk off stage oh that's natural you can't you can't not feel it even if you're like mostly okay it hurts but at the end of the day

that doesn't mean one bomb does not define me once crush does not define me i'll say the same thing sure i'll say whether this set goes well or goes poorly it does not change the fact that i'm good enough nothing changes them so i go up there and i as long as i have fun everything else will be okay there is no bombing if i had fun damn if i have fun i did i get to deal with crazy about we gotta get you on like college basketball locker i know fire up somebody's kids i'm ready to start doing drills right now buddy that's what's crazy about stand-up is you get to dictate how well it goes even if they laugh or not if i had fun it's a win we think it and i'm not saying i adhere to this and i remember this in the moment i forget all the time but i remember off stage not often

enough on stage but i dictate how this goes if i had fun no one can tell me it wasn't fun and as that happens the fuck happened out cosh this guy's fucking crazy over buddy i'm telling you getting out on the road has helped me a lot because i used to doubt myself all the time and i remember andrew had a legit pep talk with me on the podcast he's like dog you're one of the nicest comics out there why do you not know that it was like a 20 minute talk on the pod like stop this shit and it was because i never i'm sitting here doing fucking 15 minute club sets i'm 12 minutes in and you can't really grow doing that sure but then as i got to get out there and do 45 45 45 and breathe on stage and fucking get into the shit that i want to get into i was i felt confident

and i was like oh i am actually good at this and then you do all that other work in the therapy and all that shit and then when those two merge you're good you're good because you've done the work y'all i see you at the fucking village lantern barking the first you get into new york you guys have done the work you put in the grind you and i've talked about how we write super similar sure our whole process super similar so you're you just got to get to that point where you're like yo i'm good whether they laugh or not it doesn't mean i don't if i bombed i have i fucked up and i need to work to fix it sure that at the end of the day it's my fault but it doesn't mean i'm not good enough as a comic it just means i bombed and this night i fucked

up damn step this is this is the money talking right buddy what's going on this guy's been going to whole foods for the last six months his brain's operating i don't go to hold bitcoin on that no no no no no that's not fair i don't go to whole foods whole this guy's got a river view you know what i mean i don't go to whole foods whole foods comes to me he gets delivered on amazon don't this guy's got amazon prime that's pretty good i'm not in line with those fucking mongrels okay those homeless people yeah no but i this is the thing and like as my confidence is growing in my uh yeah you had to say confidence in my skills i think i've called up to where i wanted them to be now i feel like this is my time for the special like let's go i'm proud of the jokes if you watch

an hour after the special comes out different hour and it's i think it's going to be maybe even better than what i put out maybe if not you will walk out of my show being like yo that motherfucker you could like me or not like me but you'll say objectively that guy is skilled at this thing the bald guy that opened for him though that fat host didn't do too well the bald guy who talked about having a small penis also wasn't so strong i want you guys to come on to my show and fucking bomb your ass off at least once i think i just bomb early show bomb dog i didn't notice i guess you weren't new brunswick a few months ago i guess you weren't at your show didn't have the sound on in the green room i told you we didn't tell you i bombed jolt stood his first residency at near

comedy club i bombed on one of those shows too i know scooter brawn was in the studio but i did that same move i didn't know if they had the sound on in the green room if he knew so like when i went in to like you know check with him i was like hey kevin's on now uh you'll be up in a couple minutes he was like okay and i just i stood there for a second like all right nothing ever i saw him deliver his clothes in a tumbleweed blue across the stage a posse rounded up they got him the light started dimming when they're just staring at she was the funniest like they truly want to laugh but they don't know where they're supposed to it's a tough one oh man that's my favorite bomb he's like they're they're trying to do the math on it

they're like i don't even get this what is this guy oh i like you i just wish i liked your comedy i don't watch the simpsons what the fuck buddy you're killing me oh my god dude buddy congratulations we're so happy for you thank you i'm excited i'm excited for this on the fucking special bring back apu gang you gotta fucking watch it yeah it's gonna be fucking absolutely fantastic childhood hero apu let's get into a couple of cues here sir as you know we got family here we got a little company here akash oh big kev shouts the big kev he's shot the entire special edited with me he edited i just told him what to do uh and this guy is also my bodyguard so love big kev shout out to big kev he's sitting

on the couch right now he's akash his t-bone yeah he's 611 he's huge big ass white boy i also did the thing when i met him like hey you play basketball and you're dumb you know what size shoes do you have i just asked him to see his piece yeah yeah let me see your piece of let me know if you can dunk or not kippy three words you're gonna love helix helix helix you know what i'll say one more time helix the greatest mattresses in the world yes because what happens you gotta go to the mattress store you gotta walk around you got some bozo with coffee breath and a tie breathing down your neck and a short sleeve shirt he doesn't know what's going on no you go to helix you take the quiz you know exactly what kind of mattress that quiz probably takes what 30 40 minutes

two minutes two minutes two minutes you're in and out two minutes it's at the else that's pinhead all right we're sleeping here guys as you know the the great helix company was nice enough to give uh give us a give me a mattress me and my lady took the sleep quiz i took we ended up getting the twilight series um it was so good we had a queen i loved it so much we upgraded to a king yeah now we're living it baby uh and i got the queen i got the queen come over use it sometime if you want to still got that kippy smell uh yeah so if you're looking for a mattress take the quiz you order the mattress that's matched to you and the mattress comes right to your door shift for free you don't ever need to go to the mattress store again nope uh helix is awesome but don't

take our word for voted best overall mattress pick of 2020 by gq and wired magazine that's top notch publications there you go helix has been recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving your sleep so here we go just go to helixsleep.com slash garbage take the two minute quiz they'll match you with the customized mattress for the best sleep of your life helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders crazy and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash garbage one more time that's helixsleep.com slash garbage do it this podcast is sponsored by better help yes gang the good people of better help want to help is there's something in your life that's interfering with your happiness

as you know uncle hanks the big man started a therapy journey yes a few months ago i'm telling you it helps to talk it's very important and if you live in regions of the country whether you don't have certain specialists better help is even more important to you because you can have access to specialized counseling yes it's not a crisis line it's not a self-help line it's professional therapy done securely online these are pros service available worldwide you can log into your account and a time send a message to your therapist you'll get a timely and thoughtful response plus you can schedule a weekly video or phone sessions so that eliminates sitting in a weird uncomfortable room you can hear the guy in there before you crying or screaming yeah you

know punching a pillow or whatever removes all that awkwardness a special offer for are you garbage listeners you get a 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash garbage one more time that's betterhelp.com slash garbage big cab shout out shout out to big cab love that big cab gang as you know when you sign up for the patreon there you get a couple of questions asked on the air we've got some here that we're going to work out with mr. rat cash thing yes have a good time speaking of patreon nice we have to announce them this is the public episode we talked about it let's see what you think about this we talked about it on our we talked about it on the patreon but you know we do we lean we do the goals of the best

going to disney we just hit 2,800 patrons so i'm taking big man to disney for the first time world not land doing the whole doing the whole fucking rig when he's going to get stuck on a roller coaster doing the whole fucking rigmarole he's going yeah rolling down shoot everything yeah yeah we put it all on the patreon we get some of the big turkey legs uh like we did that we did like cribs of like our childhood homes we did you know some of that we did a bunch of are you going to harry potter world or can you not fit on the rides this is we we literally on the patreon episode had to google uh disney world for fat people to see what like and there is like a dot org that like there is a shocking amount of information on that yeah just a lot of fat

motherfuckers stay away from it's a wonderful life but universal studio you're really getting to the hot dog park unfortunately universal studios i assume less fat than disney i don't know why but i feel that way yeah no universal studios i think they'd be fatter why because they want what do you have more interest in because that'll dictate what you're like-minded people do i have interest in fatter to be honest with you um well you don't want to go to harry potter all respect to harry i told you fat people don't care for harry potter i get out of here with that everybody calling me haggard and shit i'm not fucking doing it i want to go star wars oh is that there star wars would be cool yeah yeah that's disney again you're disney i'm telling you fat people prefer disney

i don't have any empirical evidence except you but i know this very small but i don't even want to go um there's a lot of there's a lot of heavy set folks down there is it's bill you know we're gonna get him a rascal for a day i mean it's not a fucking tough mutter race what are you expecting what do you think's gonna be down there cyclists what are you talking about a bunch of dumbo's walking around yeah they're serving funnel cake and fucking huge lollipops um if you walk though you will lose weight no rascal you just walk that whole fucking park every day you're gonna lose weight in two days yeah dude yeah how much weight do you have to lose i don't know if you hit 10,000 steps i think you lose like 40 pounds he says he does 10,000 a day i think my deep pride orio

when take down there's gonna put the scales on that um but that was our last goal that we just hit so our new goal is um we're going to we're betting it all baby yeah we're gonna do a 10,000 roulette spin on black i love when we hit 3,400 one spin one spin it's either gonna make the rest of the night fucking awesome or it's gonna fucking suck the only concern i my wife has to pay the rent that either way it's gonna be a good time the only concern i have for you guys is it's just the one spin how are you gonna do content beyond the one spin we're gonna have a dinner beforehand okay oh we have a lifetime of foley's anxiety that will yeah go into hey we came up with it the other day he couldn't he's been he couldn't sleep last night if y'all listen if y'all

go to 3,600 i'll put in half with you i'll put in another 10k 3,600 and then if then if you win we split the profits wait what and if you lose it is what it is okay so we go to 3,600 patrons 3,600 patrons you'll you'll match the bet i'll match the bet really yeah all right that's it you're like playing my hands are sweating dude what about you big guy you want to give him this action why don't you flash that piece i've got 10 bucks on it right now i wasn't clear i'm i'm betting his salary $10,000 of his salary so you're in regardless yeah i said it toby's like there's no way we're doing that man don't start a freaking out when i fucking what's what's it all about going in there and fucking laying it all on it that's the most new money thing is make a bet that you for

sure can't afford and i'm already working on how i'm gonna fall into the table or fucking thick heart attack when this thing comes up on red yeah if it hits red throw a bunch of ping pong balls up in the air fucking right out the door and if you win what are you gonna do i think the goal is to blow it that night yeah okay all right i want my 10k back you're gonna be the saddest like you know drinking at an irish pub or you know when i find out you boom my 10k well after winning i'm gonna be livid before he shrimped fully eat what the fuck before we get down there hey sorry big man hey it hit red oh gosh oh yeah we're telling you we lost regardless yeah all in an ending let's do it no but i'll do it 36 though you gotta hit 36 all right 3600 damn

this just escalated quickly yeah how we came up with it was our it was the guy who helps with editing new guy luke was like on entourage they would walk in and they bet 10,000 on red right off the rip and we were like fuck yeah that's crazy we were drinking at a dinner we're like let's do it that's what we're doing and then we telling ended up in france we reviewed the clip and it turns out they bet five bucks but we were already dead set on the 10,000 i already committed yeah and then i was like well maybe five thousand what about 2,500 you know what i mean fuck you luke 10k slapping it all down yeah oh man it makes me sweat thinking i like gambling but 20k on black not when it's more than i have in my bank account who all right or we can split

5k each we know or on one number how about this what hold on i have a proposition for you think about that payout though how about this 180k we make the initial we make the additional initial ten thousand dollar bet if that hits then you come in and we double down all right what we have to put up 20k no i put in 10 y'all put your 20 then it's 30k you win 60 i'll take my 20 wait hold on i'll take your 40 everybody what's wrong with you guys yo we get schultz involved in this because we could be buying a casino if we go three z's on that i'll do it i'm so nervous i'll talk to schultz let's see what we could do if schultz wants to come in on top if that one wins then we schultz schultz made a pussy

with his money to be honest i'd be teasing him all the time safe ass bet but yeah this is this is a man who is very comfortable with the ups and downs of bitcoin who's spitting all yeah yeah yeah this guy's getting fleeced today by the way i checked the reports i wish it would fucking crash to 5k i'd put so much in yeah this you can't trust this guy this guy's fucking bonkers he wants it to tank so we can buy more that's a psychopath oh jesus christ let's do it dude why are you so nervous dude how'd even happen yet it's a lot of money put 10 g's on i could easily back out i could just be talking we get down there hey sorry something's wrong with jay's bank i don't want to tell you what do you got td i'm sorry about that we're running from the atlantic city mob

i'm getting a squirt out of the borgata oh you're doing vegas or a c a c a c we're an atlantic city family yeah i'm like i don't want a plane to lose that i'm not going out to one of those rug joints out there yeah but you can't even you can't even enjoy the fucking dinner in a c they gotta stay out of karabas there's an help back yeah no they got that car not carbone i went to atlantic city car mines twice i'm not good if we if we're car mines knows the way around a penny on a walk out day we went ten thousand dollars i'm not going to fucking family style dad if we if listen i'll go with it a c all right all right all right let's do it let's do some fucking questions here guys so when you sign up for patreon we will answer oh sorry real quick if we hit if we hit the 10

the 10k atlantic city we're gonna come to new york and eat the fucking meal of our lives not eating in atlantic city okay we get something on the way stop at farleys or something on a parkway yeah i'm rich at that point i'm not going hungry be kidding i struggled my whole life i finally got money i'm gonna be hungry something by roi rogers or something uh yeah okay no there's good the poor god i you know i've never i've never really eaten the mayor but i think there's nice places there's a you can get a good steakhouse not that we're doing vegas buffets now you're already eating thank you you think i'm gonna that's insane but you think that's classy a vegas buffet it's better than atlantic city you know the one

time i walked to atlantic city they got a gordon ramsey's down there what are you talking about they do i had a great burger there's cheese steak egg rolls or gourmet i don't think you understand how garbage we actually yeah yeah dude that's embarrassing but a vegas buffet that's classy now i've never been to the state myself i've been into that but we went to this pretty trashy we went on family vacation to san francisco and our whole family when we got there we drove down the reno for one night to go to a buffet at the golden corral now the golden nugget this is generational trap yeah i'm not here this is fucking eons of garbage generational trash generational garbage these are dirty dirty people what does a vegas buffet look like so i got some nice buffets down

there really at the nice hotels yeah i mean it's like a hundred bucks a person but it's a good food crab would they would they transfer did they work together like could we could there is like a appetizer that harris and they go down to circus circus i think are you asking if you're a buffet credits transfer like community from atlantic city to vegas like if we win the money in ac could they have a jet waiting for us and be like yeah we're sending the boys out there is like a buffet tour that's like he hit four different buffets i know of this i don't know if it's still new for the next goal there you go four thousand like this yeah four thousand four buffets it's just another just another vegas and thirty seven hundred we hit the buffet we're gonna go to vegas

put twenty seven hundred or twenty thousand on red there you go that's okay but hold on go back to this maybe if we um if we do win the first bit right i say we take a thousand embedded on a number okay that's pretty good because you're playing with house money yeah right we take a thousand we've been on a number and then and then we double down double down what do you mean i don't we're not gonna do my double down idea no i think double down i think you pull you pull the initial bet oh yeah you take yeah i mean this coming from a guy who's never gambled and he hasn't stopped talking about gambling since this has come up i just googled most expensive buffet atlantic city and it's the one at the borgata and it's 30 bucks well breakfast lunch and dinner we can bring

some friends big kev what are you doing when we hit thirty six hundred or if it goes south we're all splitting one plate that's like three bucks each yo that's gonna be fire content we're all going down there together big careful come yeah we got two camera people now we're gonna make it a fucking night well that's the thing i don't know if you can shoot in a casino you probably got to go like fucking real covert ops we gotta get bodycams oh yeah we'll get those hats i'll wear a fake mustache yeah the pens you put your fucking phone on in your pocket just have it peeking out there you go we got it yeah got it guys we got it then you take yeah and if we lose that ride home is gonna fucking suck it's gonna be so funny next month it's gonna be funnier than every bomb that's ever

happened that's a bomb that's a bomb that's a bomb man that's the most expensive scooter brawn no scooter brawn you're sweating i don't give a shit who's watching that's fucking crazy so if we win 20k we put two on you you will take a thousand from ours yeah you take a thousand from yours and we'll put it on two numbers put it on two one of us hits we split that one of us hits we split that okay that's pretty good jeez up look at this jeez up we got it done all right damn oh my god that's fucking we're really in this i wanted to announce it i'm gonna do a side better than us to lose that way i break even i just broke a lease on an apartment i can't afford this is tell me we're here we are gonna be do shit come march we're gonna be upside down

i want to check out the middle class famous tour ladies and gentlemen let's start selling some tickets on the fucking road if we lose i won't have to worry about getting fat that month i might be the best thing for my overall health yeah we got to tell my wife somehow who paid for all this who's not gonna be happy i'm taking the $10,000 in risk or we'll get her original investment back yeah one of the other uh my wife will never know so there you go that's that's how i get around it yikes why can't you have confidence me yeah i have confidence that we're gonna lose are you gonna tell your parents no way what i don't think any one of my families ever all combined has ever gambled no $10,000 total my parents might think my parents

have ever gambled they don't go to the casinos if they do she says to the slot machines if you want to stretch out just for the free drinks just for the smokes if you want to stretch out the content we could also take a thousand and put it on a parlay for its bit if we win yeah we win uncut gems we don't get that fuck i'm gonna get shot in a jewelry store the fuck out of here let's put it i like garnett in this one fucking 12 team parlay see what happened you know i don't mind that either are we millionaires or are we going home well we're going home for sure paint on the trotters never bet the chariot say fuck you man those races are too long that's what it is all right all right let's get into some fucking questions this is a barn burner already

baby um all right this one's from jaden uh do you believe in fortune cookies no it's pretty trash if you do they had me crippled for most of my life i would save them in a pocket yeah no oh they scared the shit out of me i don't know what was going on you were like what i mean well they're always like good they're never like you're gonna die i was i was scared that if i that's how many fortune cookies fully is he got to this is a problem hey stop eating fortune cookies get your blood sugar checked i don't even like the cookies oh i love them dude i love i have a such a sweet tooth i'm such a fat kid at heart i don't even think of that sweet it tastes like cardboard to me sweet cardboard sweet cardboard

i've had fortune cookies when i wasn't having chinese food like if they were just like in the drawer from like old chinese food orders just have them as a snack but you always have to read the fortune that's the problem because i'm worried about getting the bad juju you can't you because you can't eat a fortune cookie without reading the fortune no you got i i think there's a moment where it gets to you a bit of his like oh this uh but then you gotta remember it's a fucking cookie yeah with any just a hundred computer generated fortunes and who gives a shit yeah no i can't do that i'm not strong enough for that i believe the fortune cookie gods will get me if i don't if i don't play by the rules how you doing big guy i was up the first three and i'm done i should have i should

have walked away the ones that get an endoscopy right away what the fuck have your prostate checked immediately they say i'd never walk away from the table door in a heater but fucking winter winter chicken dinner let's let it ride just with a coffee table like the outside of enron to shred maybe we pull the number off the back of a fortune cookies don't they have lucky numbers oh yeah yeah yeah maybe we do that for the number bet okay but there's six numbers right there are a lot of numbers or five numbers right we'll pick a number either way let's get a little have a number in mind if it's 3600 pages maybe 36 but i know that's pretty good and the odds i think are 36 to 1 the payouts it's 35 35 to 1 so me okay so we'll do 3600 and then but is there a number

36 or i think it only goes up to 35 i don't know you guys are making me hungry with all this chinese let's get some fucking sesame chicken in here get our heads right all right um let's see uh can i ask you this on a side note do you like the chips that they put out at chinese restaurants with the duck sauce and the mustard will you eat those you know i'm talking about the crispy noodles oh yeah dabble but they never really do it for nobody does chips and salsa better than chips and salsa yes exactly i'm going to tell you this woe hop they're fucking woe hops are woe hops good blow your mind yeah and woe hops good you're the only guy who talks about drunk food like it's gourmet yeah

you guys been to taco kebana in texas in midnight Cheryl's on the grill you're in for a treat who's rolling burritos tonight i'm the only guy to ever have a chalupa sober kb looks like about that box of awesome from our good friends at bespoke posts did you say bespoke posts yes i did love them love the box of awesome they sent us one absolutely the coolest stuff you can ever think of it's winter now yeah so they got some real cool stuff could be some outdoors stuff could be some stuff for the home bar could be some grooming stuff and they team up with emerging brands and small businesses so you're helping out small

businesses yes then they have collections for every part of your life baby whatever you're looking for like i said we said a hundred times they sent us something i got a camp and stuff pocket knives cool duffel bag i take with me on the road when i'm jet setting you know what it's cool guy shit you want to be a cool guy it's just it's the stuff that you see some other guy having a way to work and you're like i need that guy's cool yeah damn i want one of them yeah that's where you get it uh it's free to sign up you can skip a month or cancel at any time they release new boxes in every month across a ton of different categories so whatever you're looking for they got you covered uh and here's the best thing each box only costs 45 bucks but what's in it over 70

dollars worth the gear inside what are we doing here what are we doing table cut this what are we doing uh each uh box of awesome you're supporting uh small brands like the big man said get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at box of awesome dot com enter the code garbage a check out that's box of awesome dot com promo code garbage for 20% off your first box do it do it can't but talk about butcher box baby butcher box butcher box my absolute favorite and the people that run that company are insane because they're giving away free hamburger they're giving away free ground beef over there top quality big man's got a chubby going right now dude it's nuts i can feel it i still got a freezer full of them i know salmon chicken pork top quality stuff it's

unbelievable yes meal prepping is difficult but your box is making it easy it's a subscription service that takes the guesswork out of finding high quality meat uh they source their meat from partners with the highest standards of quality for so no more searching the grocery store for 100% grass-fed free-range organic chicken wildcult salmon and more i've done that with my wife where you're like dragging from one place to another like where's the organic where's the whatever they take that all out right to the door you know you know they're only up and up to what because sometimes things aren't available because they're not in season yes or whatever or they don't have a good source of course i'd say you know they're playing straight yes exactly uh no antibiotics no

hormones each box contains eight to 14 pounds of meat depending on the box you choose that's 24 individual meals packed fresh ship frozen for convenience it's a no brainer gang and this is your chance to never have to shop for ground beef again this is bonkers stop don't tell them that that's right but they're not is giving new members free ground beef for life what you better like burgers baby sign up at butcher box slash a yg and get two pounds of ground beef for free in every order for the life of your membership one more time log on to butcher box dot com slash a yg to claim this deal do it crazy back to the show all right uh you recently got married this is from joshua uh have you ever forgotten your significant other's birthday no because mine

is so like right there everything no her birthday is everything to her so that's the one day i can't forget wow i didn't get her christmas gift this year i didn't get her christmas gift but i was like did you not even christian why you care yeah that was the thing i got her something later but birthday if i ever forgot birthday would be a fucking problem you do like a trip do you do a dinner i don't know but i just gotta know it's a significant day whatever it is i have to treat it as a significant day that's it whatever happens my girl loves nice gifts and all that shit but the most important thing is i understand how important this day is to her which to me is like yeah everybody's got one what are we doing people really stretch their

birth women in general seem to really value their not all but a lot it's a weekend care about their but it's my birthday i think men have the birthday beaten out of them at a certain point like you still care about your birthday you're 14 grow up bitch yeah no yeah so that's why for us for me i was single so i was 31 i was like who gives a fuck about a birthday i can't cause her first birthday together cause a huge fight all my fault nice and i was like i don't give a fuck about your birthday and now i look back i'm like oh that was a problem the most special day of the year cut to i fucked up my man i was feeling a loser i always wanted to be at other people's birthday parties rather than mine i don't know why i just didn't like it where we were was this on a

public episode or patreon where we talked about the birthdays patreon well where did you have any birthday parties growing up yeah yeah my parents didn't make a lot of money were they wild but they did a good job taking me to like putt putt my friends and we'd say i don't think price went hundreds of dollars on fucking arcades or whatever any surprise parties no i never had a surprise party oh my parents threw on my mom and my now wife threw on what's funny though is i'd never i think it's happened twice in both times i was like i know this surprise party but i haven't pretend i don't know really and then how do you feel about surprise parties in general it's nice it's nice if you can pull it off go that's great good for you i've thrown one or two i

think but like that's sweet yeah what do you think i don't want to know i don't know i don't yeah i don't like not knowing stuff me and my wife aren't big on surprise she's like i got you something like tell me what it is before it gets what is that i don't like being fucking bamboozled what what are you getting bamboozled somebody does a generous thing for you i don't know that's and you gotta suck all the fun out of it tell me what it is what is that this guy's got my number man i was thinking i'm like he's gonna call me out on some fucking horseshit today i know it last time was like dad now it's my wife uh no i never i don't want to cause problems with you and your wife but it's a surprise buddy who gives a fuck i ruined the surprise party one time how excellent

my girlfriend and high school he's home from three blocks away they heard him walking down the block the water started shaking he was wheezing my my t-rex looking in the window pretend like you're sleeping my cannonball splash you can see it from miles away now fucking i went outside to smoke our parents hated me too it was fucking brutal it was the worst feeling she was throwing you a surprise party no it was her it was her 21st birthday surprise down in her basement you can fuck up a cup of coffee who you that's the rule you don't go out to smoke and sing when you know she's in route because you're getting a call or a

text she came down the wrong way too because we went out like through like the storm door like in like in like a basement would have it was like a brand new nice house and she was supposed to come down like through the you know the regular inside but she saw me and fucking came over there on that side and we were all facing the other way waiting for her to come down the steps and then all of a sudden you hear what are you guys doing oh man to look her mom shot me oh my god that's so funny ruined that's like a sitcom moment ruined it jesus what was the question again um i forget where the fuck we got oh by or forgetting your spouse's birthday oh yeah we forgot toby's birthday we just that's what we

were talking about we literally just forgot toby's birthday yeah i don't remember men's birthdays very often i don't either i see it on facebook i'll shoot you a text or whatever yeah also what i don't like is the i get text or facebook messages from people that are just happy birthday and then i don't talk to you for a year then your next text is happy birthday birthday and i'm like what are we doing here yeah yeah let's cut the shit dinner and a cake dinner and a cake that's it any man who cares about his birthday needs to grow up that she does embarrassing yeah you need to grow up yeah yeah dude as a guy who was just crying last weekend here that we forgot his birthday blow on his own cupcake my family they're just busy your family and your wife should

know and care and that's it everybody else who gives a fuck yeah what's yours february 26 february 24th 1976 i was coming i know because i now i know i know what i book all the fucking flights that's how i know it don't leave to bleep that you can't have your birthday out there right he doesn't know how to get in you are you getting where what are you thinking that's one of the questions there's an entire website called celebrity birthdays am i on there somebody put them on it's a wrong birthday son you know it's more embarrassing i was on there and then they just stopped sending me anything last year nothing yo what year you got a native anniversary card i got a fucking remembrance card hey we heard you died

uh oh this is perfect speaking of this is from uh mums to mums toe separators don't get that um do you have a funeral song picked out no we don't do that shit Indians don't do that you burn the body you move keep it moving yeah they're not over there playing journey like a bunch of animals i mean you just said it's very cold too we burn the body and keep it moving yeah come on bro damn you got a song wait sit it again i'm she we create i mean we cremate all the bodies there a couple funerals i went to i was crying my eyes off and then somebody was like this isn't what we do we celebrate your life and then we you know we move on you have another life you reincarnate you keep going have you ever gone to reincarnate that sounds

pretty good yeah it's not bad have you ever have you ever been to a funeral in india where they did like the old school cremation i haven't been to a funeral in india but there's one i thought they like put they build a pyre and burn you yeah they do yeah i haven't done it right there i haven't seen that but i you see that in movies it's like hibachi over there over there roasting marshmallows uncle lenny has good flavor i'll tell you that i haven't seen it i don't know they still do it i see in movies and stuff and then when i went to india after my grandfather died the first time it was like 10 days after he died or five days or something so i'm you're still mourning for 13 days but i didn't see the actual funeral gotcha yeah hmm what's your funeral song uh first of all this

isn't your walkout music you don't get a funeral song yeah you do they're not gonna it's your special what are you coming out yeah and what are you gonna are you gonna introduce me what are you gonna have like a little ladies and gentlemen my best pal and where would that be played are you gonna have that played in like the church on like a little disc man at the viewing or something i'm sure they got a sound system i mean this is what they do for a living they're now you're not walking in with a walk you can't start cranking the men'singers in a fucking funeral i won't uh mo money mo problems the edited version that is my mom's gonna be there what are you talking about your story in this reality my mom's still there yeah everyone's gonna everyone's gonna pause and

have your song they've got a luncheon to get to asshole and now with the request of the deceased hit them up that's why i fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker i said it is oh my god do you want to be buried with anything like sunglasses or a harmonica or something i don't even i don't know how to play a fucking harmonica no what i um i do want which they you know i want the old irish wake where you're here i think we might have talked about this where you're like what they put you up yeah i want to be on i want to be on like a pool table at irish pub and everybody's just like surrounded by flowers everybody's just boozing around yeah that's a good

time yeah that's a good time that's an irish wake right yeah i think yeah why not go out one last party open bar shot don't get me i definitely want to be cremated 100 i want to be cremated and put in my son why would you do that climate change already a problem lose the trees left and right oh zone's gonna be going that puts it right over the edge ah that goes miami this fat fuck gotta get cremated i hope you have any family in downtown los angeles because they're all under water oh my god it goes miami oh shit that's a good time yeah cremated it's the way to go um all right this is on tj do you ever own a bow flex yeah really really how'd you have money for

that they were my dad we had money for a bit for a few years and then we lost it on shit like bow flex his mom's got the time master go yeah that's a guy that's a guy who's not gonna have money for long when you buy a bow flag yeah bow flex yeah that was be a gentleman get the total that was walker texas ranger right now he did the total gym that was all like the i think inclined with the thing yeah the bow flex is the power rods the bow flex was for like rich guy bit hook line and sinker yeah it's a stainless steel construction that makes it worthwhile my dad was like i did the math and it would cost less to get a bow flex and get my whole family a gym membership for like a year so let's just do this and see how it goes and it never goes that you never my brother lost

weight on it for a little bit for me no my brother lost weight on it for a little bit and then my dad and mom didn't work out once ever ever yeah never yeah it was for like yuppies and like the in the 80s i thought it was just a little cool in an apartment while you were yeah it was like that late 90s it came out you remember the bow flex tobe yeah yeah yeah yeah so it did but it didn't i mean we definitely had a thymester i know that no we never did that that was the only thing we did over here we did we did that in a showtime rotisserie set it and forget it oh my god that she had to set it and forget it and set it and forget it it was fire damn i've always wanted that yeah it was great cornish game it's we used to make cornish gamehands every

sunday really yeah what are you english royalty who makes cornish gamehands you guys helping yourself seven bucks for two we feed the whole family i don't know if i could do that a cornish game and damn that's why i don't think i've ever talked to somebody who's had one yeah it was good great infomercials the flavor injector wasn't shit though that blind really that blew my mind the flavor injector seems like such a great idea yeah that blind lady was such a fucking ding bat she didn't know what the fuck was going on ding bat hey honey it's chicken relax were you jesus christ oh my god did you ever put anything besides like anything that wasn't it wasn't made for anything besides chicken we did a couple of things the chicken was just so simple you

just fucking put that thing on there and then let it the rods right what'd you put in there no i didn't have one but like we had a pizzazz we made a giant cookie on it you know pizzazzes are cool you know what that's what's a pizzazz oh damn pizzazzes are all right a pizza tray or something yeah yeah i'm a giant cookie piz a z right smoking little doobies that day huh you and your good time what's a pizzazz toby this it's like a heater so you can put like anything on it frozen food or whatever and then it like shoots eat out of this thing i seems fire it's cooks a pizza perfect yeah it's pretty good air fryer changed my entire life i can't get on i don't know what they are buddy it's the fucking greatest thing in the world you just gotta get one

really i'll get a ronko before i'll get one buddy if ronko starts making them i'm a foreman grill i'll think about it foreman grill nothing on the air fryer nothing on the air fryer what are you cooking in there buddy everybody said i cook your shoes anything yeah cooked chicken wings you might not even need any oil i'll put like a tablespoon of oil chicken wings seasoning 15 20 minutes that shade is perfect it's like it's deep fried so good that much oil bang whole pack what do you mean oil what are you talking about oil where on the chicken you know normally when they deep fry things full this is a problem if you don't know this explains a lot to be honest they drop it in a fucking pool of oil and that's how it fries no i know what do you mean you're putting oil on it

after the fact no when you before you cook it you season the chicken you throw in like a tablespoon of oil mix it up and then you just drop that shit in the air fryer maybe just like if you were putting something in the oven yeah it's enough yeah it's just a small oven no but it makes things crispier than an oven it fries it up nice i don't get the frying thing buddy is 25 bucks just get it you'll get it you know i mean just get it over my dead body giving them away at bed back to me on that's the 2900 patron gold is you guys get fucking air fryers i'm a pizzazz man through and through yeah and i love the george foreman group buddy air fry i made french fries on that bitch i just cut up some potatoes put that shit in there with some oil toss it up put oil in it and then throw

it in there french fries done i don't know everybody's pushing these fucking yes man and you leave it out on the counter the whole time or do you put it away we leave ours out yeah it looks like something from star wars i don't like yeah looks like something to put like the cat litter in i mean there's no pizzazz but hey it gets the job done i'm telling you give it a shot i mean we got one for in here you'll lose weight with one i think really if you eat that over fast food yeah okay yeah 100 but if i do both but you put a slice of pizza in there that's a day old for 10 seconds or like 30 seconds 30 seconds 30 seconds son it's unbelievable it's unbelievable what i don't i still don't understand what it is i'm cooking chicken rings chicken wings from fucking raw in

like 15 20 minutes you're not talking frozen i think i'm like pre-cooked frozen wings uncooked baby raw not frozen solid it's gotta be thawed but 20 minutes this guy did have a ronko rotisserie he might know what he's talking about the ronko was solid it wasn't the waste of money that i thought it might be but it was solid this shit is so worth it it's so much better it's the best kav you got one it's fantastic right thank you dog you don't trust big kav you don't trust me but you got trust big kav true maybe kav's a good big kav's a straight shooter this guy i'm not keen on but that i i get hyped up and buy into things big kav is more stoic than that he's more level headed than me yeah let's take a look at these air fryers might be something to this could be a

little money in it though get an endorsement deal h foley's air fryers i had one for a little bit and i called bobby kelly to ask him what i should do with it he's like oh dude you can do anything you do wings and my favorite sausage and peppers did you get one yeah you could use it i i i don't currently don't own anything okay i bet bugs took it they ate everything works great on bed bugs you lost it in the bed bugs no i lost in the first apartment purge but yeah no no more uh the bed we'll cut this out and keep moving toby's hanging on by a real thread i don't know if you wear that i don't think these cameras are on that was some great acting by toby mcmoan that was good acting man that was great you were just

fired in my head literally i was like i used to be walking out here with a box of his stuff oh i would have made you buy me an air fryer damn all right let's do a couple more here um this from tommy have you ever faked it a pot have you ever faked a positive coveted test no i definitely turned out that i've helped people fake positive coveted i've sent them my positive coveted test so they can fake shit whoa that's a good friend it's a great fucking excuse of course i've been using i've used nobody wants to go near you i've been exposed i just found out i got exposed yeah i've just got a text and he got it i got i got to shut down the operations over here oh yeah great great get out of jail free card

nobody wants to go near you and i've spread covid to many people so that you know they're like yeah we took out a lot of people you took out us yeah i almost ruined your podcast was that pre-vax too pre-vax it was yeah he got sick pre-vax hold i got sick pre-vax got vax and i got sick post-vax i got omicron i had omicron too so when yanni rolled in here that was all pre-vax he was on his way when he was honest was on his way here no i would have had to have been vaccinated no it was december there was no i mean the vax had just come out but like frontline workers got it no i got it thanksgiving that could have taken me out yeah yeah no air fryer in hell you don't need it you're the one right down there um yeah that was

a go to for a while then i got it i was like is that karma is that me throwing out bad karma from no no those kind of excuses are great you don't even have to say you have it i don't even say about the expose listen last night this kid hit me up i hate this guy i didn't want to go yeah i didn't want to go i wasn't really near him but you know because i can't stand the guy you know it's it's crazy but just to be safe yeah i'm sorry you're free fucking out couple of eddies throw on fucking the book of boba fat good night the book of boba oh my god um all right let's see here this is this is from the savage cabbage do your families have any garbage remedies or curealls that actually work during you guys uh indians always use indian stuff so like

turmeric like holidays what we call it yeah my mom will use that like she used to heat that up make it like a paste with water what heat it up and then if i had a sprain or any swelling she would just wrap my entire appendage in it or whatever i sprained my ankle my whole ankle will be wrapped in it stained yellow and turmeric yeah turmeric with um maybe onion or something but turmeric paste throw a couple chickens get some chicken on an air fryer you gotta fucking party and i swear to god that shit works so well yeah that's crazy but you're like you have to wrap my foot in like a fucking plastic bag so i didn't stain everything i touched and you leave it and then the next day i'd always be fine it increases blood flow i believe is what it does probably yeah turmeric's great

for you my dad tasks it in a shake every day i recommend that he have it in his uh his little shake will turmeric really go turmeric and ginger it's really good stuff yeah ginger's good stuff yeah um all right let's see it's from tony p ever pull a fire alarm for a reason for any reason other than a fire i never pulled a fire alarm in my life too scared yeah i think even if there was a fire i'd be nervous to do it yeah it's not gonna get back on me is it my fingerprints are gonna be in it no that's a that's a trash move have you ever been somewhere where someone pulled it like a movie theater or some shit yeah i think in school it would have you know it happened from time to time in school that shit didn't squirt out at you though that was fucking bullshit oh they used to

say there was like mercury or something in the glass right mercury they're not russian agents what the fuck mercury it was like a blue dog or something i don't know about what do you think scorch botulism in your face if you put it but mercury what the fuck man isn't what's in the glass hey your school was fucked up it was the 1920s did i tell you that don't pull the fire alarm to get bear sprayed i don't teach you mercury well isn't it in the glad like the thermometer type i'm not wrong i don't think it doesn't squirt it out at you i'm asking what you meant you said it squirts out i said oh what the mercury yeah you know they never told you that that like if you pull a fire alarm it squirts something on you so they know it was you it's like a died pack now what that's insane yeah

they didn't they didn't tell you that so what you're in the middle of a fire then all of a sudden you're victim of assault that's insane it's not a lot it's so people when it's so so people that pull fake fire alarms they know what kid did it that's something they tell you so you don't pull the fake well that's like the pain in the pool that's that's exactly yeah it doesn't exist they didn't tell you that no no not at all do you hear that no i fart in it smells that's my bed i don't even smell it yeah you will is that turmeric uh a little bit of spring ankle what's going on um all right let's see let's do one more here um bup bup uh this is from tjb first time question have you ever eaten at a grocery store hot bar yes i'll fuck yeah fucking love it yeah bro that's

great especially if you're doing like low carbs or something just go get a bunch of meat and a couple of veggies out the door for like nine bucks says to be chicken mac and cheese mashed potatoes and meatballs so you're laying off the corpse go not now you know the the stuffing the tough choice fake potatoes pre-pandemic yeah i was big especially especially in new york when you're running around spots and like if you have a day job of the fucking unbelievable i was the king of hot bars ali at every deli i know had one they're gone now whole foods they're back in whole foods now i think uh i couldn't bar a little overpriced yeah it's too much you had to go the you have to go to like uh like a nice bodega in the city

especially around midtown that keeps it clean like a working crowd around lunchtime god damn the fucking plantains the salad the whole nine yards i don't know who makes that chocolate pudding you're getting the chocolate pudding at a hot bar that's crazy i did see one time a homeless guy walked in and grabbed just meatballs with his hand right never again yeah why did i never think that would happen that's insane then i thought crazy people didn't walk in and just grab food yeah so you only gotta go stuff they can't grab with their hands fucking the spinach auto choke you know what i mean and i love a fucking hot bar dude love it it's great it's the only place you have like it's like a buffet you know turkey meatballs the whole nine yards

i once spent $30 on supermarket sushi it was a great day super market sushi is all right but a lot of times you got the guy back there chopping it up rolling it that's when you know you got a real nice grocery store when you got the guy back there you don't have a guy at uh no uh maybe they do at mccaffrey's at the wall on south six they don't have a guy give me a tuna classic and a spider roll huh what's the sake situation in here gang mr akash sing brand new special out right fucking now check it out gotta check it out he's bring back up who he's on tour right now i believe yes sir yes sir he's a killer go check him out let the folks know what he got cooking

what he got coming up the dates let me plug the dates okay uh i'm doing a so cal run february 20th i'm gonna be in oxnard california levity live february 23rd i'm gonna be at the improv irvine february 24th our ontario improv and february 25th i'm being la hollywood the dynasty typewriter march 11th i'm gonna do a couple candidates real quick march 11th vancouver playhouse and april 22nd 23rd toronto royal theater the rest of my dates are on akash sing dot com ak double a s h s i n g h dot com look at that buddy it's a killer we love you we're so proud of you guys thank you for having me happy for you it's fucking absolutely fantastic thank you for everything obviously always kippy what do you got for him uh check out our dates the middle class famous tour

hardford albany syracuse atlanta tampa orlando pittsburgh buffalo detroit denver phoenix ally city chicago rosemont more dates coming check it out come see us gang it's a fun time it's a great way to introduce new people to the show so bring this squad with you that's a great point people got to see you guys in person to give well i mean i see you guys in person but that's the best way to get it it's a selling point for sure the best way to get it and check out the special and we love you and we'll see you next week peace