Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ali Siddiq!

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Are You Garbage presents the hilarious stand up comedian Ali Siddiq! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Check out a Live Show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Conzuri: https://www.conzuri.com/ Promo Code: Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

gang we're adding 20 new cities to that state trashy tour for the fall in the winter and you're not going to want to miss it so come out and see the boys. Yeah gang all tickets are going to be available on Tuesday June 27th at RUGarbage.com we're doing some bigger venues that have a pre-sale so if it asks for a pre-sale code use code garbage get your tickets RUGarbage.com let's party gang! Woo! Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. It's our little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find it at the girl to be classy. I'm just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in the new edition maybe. She is enjoying the summer getting her free cup of coffee at Wawa. Good for her. She gets one every day. Okay. She's stealing it. Sure.

My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of our Ugarberd. She is an international businessman. Well, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world. And I love him, and I don't care who knows it. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan. Well, that's all for everybody.

Thanks for tuning in. As always, we make sure you're right with you subscribe on iTunes. Well, video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are true to root cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time www.patrion.com such already garbage gang. It's a fucking party over there check it out Ooh, yeah, have a nice quick shout out to our producer Extraordinary to magic man makes us all look good works to ones the two's the three's and the four's he crosses the T's and he

Dots the eyes give it up for T-bone Mc, McScruffins, Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, dudes? What's up, pal? Man, we got one of the realest dudes in comedy, and we're all time storyteller this guy. All time. Out. The long hair, ain't fucking lying gang. We could not be more excited to have her incredibly.

And I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, very prol prolific stand-up comedian and storyteller And you might have seen him in but not limited to you got deaf comedy jam. You got BET's comic view This is not happening got them comedy live He's got a comedy central half hour at midnight church or what's happening now? Laptracks he has multiple stand-up specials including last year's the domino effect Which has nine million views over there on the use tube and he just dropped a brand new amazing special the domino effect to entitled

loss it's got one point five million views and just a short couple of weeks and we couldn't be more excited to have him here give it up for allie said he can't thank you for that amazing you started laughing as soon as you said. As soon as you get, hey! He goes big on the head.

Yeah, you know. We were just, for the listeners, we were having a deep conversation and before that. And as soon as you say action, I'm like, all right, there we go. He turns into AM radio host, real quick. Yeah, because my, my, like, I, I start my show with a hate, but it's very low. And my, like, hey, you're like, hey, and we're pretty.

I'm like, coming at you. He's a showman, baby. What can I say? No, it's crazy. You sound like every white strip club. Like every, like, come into the city. Y'all give it up for champagne. And like, all in there, like, every last one.

That was my dream job, but I was a cat. It was mine too. Yeah, everybody wanted to work in a strip club. And then my brother, my little brother, actually was a strip club DJ. Really? I tried to get him to stop doing him. I'm like, yo, stop being these clubs out late at night with these butt-nicking women and smoking marijuana.

I don't think, and then I started thinking about what I was saying. Like, no, I'm your like. Yeah, that's the greatest job I've ever done. The greatest job I've ever done. What did he say? Did it live up to the expectations that a young boy would have? Oh, yeah. What if you go on DJ Dundeal, my brother's Instagram.

DJ Dundeal, that's a great name. That is a great name. It is a Dundeal. Like he is not quitting his job. I'm not sure. DJ Dundeal. He's gonna be like a 75 year old man. Yo, give it up on Mercedes.

He's like, man, still playing old school jams. Oh man. That's funny. But I will go and visit him at his job. Yeah sure. Just on the occasions, hey man, I'ma swing by your job.

Sure. You gotta go on. And I say I'ma swing by like his it's not four o'clock in the morning. Right. Right. Like, where am I swinging from? It's not like I'm getting out the big on his end. Drop off some leftovers.

You forgot to get him his birthday present. I'm like, now I'ma swing through and drop something. I'm gonna run in some errands. I'll pop by. Are you working tonight? I'm gonna dance in this. That dance tonight. I gotta grab some dry cleaning nearby there.

I'm gonna cruise through real quick. Give us the back story. We know you're a Houston guy. Yes, Houston guy. And I do want to say this, the new special is unbelievable. It's fantastic. It's unbelievable.

And I know when you open up, you were when I was listening to a comment in, I was like, this is gonna be fun because you were hitting on some things that we hit on. You know what I mean? So give us a scoop here. Which part of the scoop? What you were talking about?

You know what people say? They don't tell everybody, you know what you wanna thought in 73? You wanna get it? You know what you wanna thought? Let's take it back to the beginning. You're born in Houston? Born in Houston.

Born in Raisin Houston. Yeah, born in Raisin Houston. Okay. Yeah, it lived a lot of other places, but born in Raisin Houston family, traveled around a little bit. I have no idea why my mom and my dad were both in Job Corps. And it's not, if y'all even know what that is,

Job Corps. Job Corps is like when you just go into the world, you traveling, you're a traveling salesperson, like, and you damn near the military. It's like, it's like and you damn near the military. It's like it's like it's like You in the reserves, but you still not, you know, it's just weird. It's weird Sounds real vague. I like connected to the military It's connected to a lot of things like you it's like you red cross slash military slash

It just randomly living like you're gypsy almost. What were they doing? I have no idea what they were doing. But they met, they were both like in 18s, 1 15, 1 16. Okay. And then very young, like, what were y'all doing away from y'all families? Yeah, that's y'all. This is what I'm trying to figure out. Why wouldn't you get your family?

And you got your children. What are you doing? You know, how did you run away and met this man? Like what happened? Yeah. So, you know, two sisters, and then my, I say two sisters because those are the people who I know from my mom. Okay.

My pops, just, my brother is by my dad, and then I have another sister named Naomi. I have random people who are, just hit me and like, hey, I have to be related to you. And like, who's your father? And they have his name. Sure.

They know his name. Are you related to DJ Dundee? I'm like, this is definitely my dad. Have you ever heard a job call? Fuck. It's a weird, I don't know how many siblings I actually have. Okay. So that's what I'm a top core. Fuck. It's a weird, it's a, I don't know how many siblings are actually high up. Okay.

So that's, that's, welcome to the show, baby. Yeah, this is it. Welcome to the show. And then, and I'm scared, I'm almost scared to do like one of 23 years ago. No, no, no, no. That brings up just information you do not want to see.

Yeah. My mom did it a couple of years ago. What happened? Nothing. It ruined Christmas. Yeah. It's like, and look, I was, I to say. Yeah. My mom did it a couple years ago, don't they? What happened? Nothing. It ruined Christmas. It's like, and look, I was on the verge. I was on the verge. Don't do it, man.

You got too much to lose. I'ma do it, and then I'm watching. You want to ruin your day and find out you might be Italian? Is that what you want to do? Yeah, you're Sicilian, all right? You got to go back and do all your specials over. Yeah. I'm in Buffalo.

Start doing men of Scalco. I'm in Buffalo and I'm watching this show. I watched them, I watched them, I watched them, I watched a lot of ex-files and stuff that you forensic follow me. I've been cooking on it all week. My wife's been out of town. That's on repeat. Yo, let me tell you forensic found on me. Oh, I've been cooking on it all week. My wife's been out of town. That's on repeat. Yo, let me tell you.

Forget about it. In forensic found, I watched so much of it that the lady who lived in my house was Iaffixing the collar. She said, are you planning to kill me? Sure. I'm like, no. But if I wanted to, I know how to do it. Hey, I'm telling you, what's not going to happen,

I'm not going to pull the trigger right, laying right next to you. Apparently a lot of women do that one. I don't know how you shot herself. Like, yeah. Did you remove your nightgown, man? So I'm watching this thing and this lady, she's trying to find her, you know, if she has, you know, people out there and she knows

her dad, but she was adopted and I guess her dad ain't telling them about our mom or whatever. So that she does the 23rd meet. She finds out that she has a sister, but the sister is in Vietnam. Okay. So you already know this. Yeah. So she goes and tells my father, you have a daughter in Vietnam, then they go through this whole store.

I'm like, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I used to, I used to do overseas. And I just know that it's just, I know it was a situation in Germany, man. No, no. Like 20 years ago. I just start mailing doormarks here. Yeah, I just feel like if I- You pay your back child's important shit in your roads,

you don't want to do that. Man, I feel like if I do it, it's just going to just- Something's going to happen. No, no, yeah, don't. It is what it is. It is. Let's sleep in the door. That's what I do.

It's it. Don't go knocking on doors, you don't want to open today bring up everybody Well, that's that the thing is yes Well, then you're in there and then if someone else does it they it starts it starts linking everybody together Oh, no, yeah, yeah, you don't want that and it's not just like it doesn't stop at oh I might have a cousin in Dallas No, it fucking maps out to everybody in Dallas. They don't stop. It fucking maps out to everybody. Now they have a new thing that it gets you that it gets you all the way down to like the very core of your genetic makeup. I don't buy that that much. This one's you know was related to like King Charles

the second and all that kind of stuff. I don't know about all that. If you related to King Charles like decades ago, I don't even think you had no stuff. Yeah, you can't, you can't be knocking on the door, really. Hey, hey, hey, I'm family. It's me. Charles, that's what I'd be doing. I'm a goddamn baron.

Yeah. All right, man, if you found out that you the lord of something. I do what I start. I start. Oh, yeah. I'd be over there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'd be over there.

Yeah. Oh yeah, I would definitely. You see me in Wales with all the stuff on. All the stuff. In the last, you heard the last thing. It does that big collar governor. You heard the last thing of Scotland on the last Prince of Wales.

I would go. Sure. Yeah, you would want to get a piece of that. A box on for sure. Okay, so. You've done a race. You've get a piece of that box on for sure um okay so yeah I love a lot of siblings okay a lot of maybe unknowingly I love it maybe a child out there I don't know okay and then when so when your mom and dad had you were you the oldest no I am the middle okay so they were settled in Houston they were settled and. And they were from Houston. No.

No. No, mothers from California, from Louisiana. And why, why, why, can they settle in Houston? I have no idea. Oh, my dad's, my dad's mother was in Houston. Okay, and dad's mom was in Houston. Yeah, she had moved from Louisiana to Houston and she was running the YMCA.

Okay. Very respected. Very respected. Okay. Oh, learn to swim in a YMCA. You learn to swim in a YMCA? I learn how to swim in some apartments. She's getting pushed in by some bad child. Some child who probably is in prison for murder

because he didn't even know about a swim and I just pushed me in a pool. Oh, so you drowning people very early, huh, sir? That's how you learn, though. And you know, you learn with terror. You shouldn't be learning what your shoes are. That's how you learn though. You know, you know, you know, you learn with Tara. You should be learning what your shoes are though. That shouldn't be fun. You should have she's got a jacket on. I think I had on Coteroids. I think I mean, because you know, everybody with Coteroids back then. Yeah, I'm like cement. Yeah. Yeah. Like you learn out of swimming

in a, you know, puffy coat. You got a Tommy jacket on Here flailing triple fat goo Shout out to triple fat goose Man everybody what would they made well because everybody wanted one of those when I was a kid I think they were made I was before they were it was goose down right that was like definitely a goose Yeah, the one with the orange inside. Yeah, that was like a big thing. And then the the the feathers on the outside of the hood wasn't good. No, they were that house a rack. Yeah, it was something. It's beaver. That was always so it's beaver. A couple of belts on there. All right, so when you're a little kid, your mom and dad, you get there together together. Okay. And up until it's up until I was like maybe three up until you were three who's it? Who's in the house? Oh

In the house is my mom my dad In my older sister, okay, okay, all right, so it's the four of you. Yes, and then at three years old your parents split up I okay They separated but still with Dylan and each other off and on. Okay. Because I know like five and six he was definitely in and out. Right. Definitely.

Is there a hornings and check? You're like, how are you doing? Yeah, like what's up, man? I thought you were gone. And it might be. Did he stay in Houston though? Did he stay in Houston? So he was close by.

Oh yeah, he was, he wasn't far. Because every birthday like from six to about hmm, I'm gonna give it about eight. I hated them birthdays because that's when my dad would try to use my birthday party to get back on my mom. You know, I was seeing dancing with a he's like, I'm gonna dance in there. Why are you he's why are you coming to my birthday party? You know, you don't do that with my sister. They, why are you using my party? So, and... Fawson, your dad trying to get laid at six is a tough one.

That's like, you just watching your dad strike out? Like with a lady that he has two children, buddy. Somebody pack it in. Yeah, like, anybody is over. When he go all out for those birthday stuff. I'm gonna go all out. Like, just in, I'm like, you overdressed in everything, man. Chusin, it's hot as shit. Take the jacket off.

Hey, man, my dad had a full suit on. I'm just stopping by. Are you stopping by? Chop these flowers off for your mother. I'm just stopping by. Are you stopping by? Chop these flowers off for your mother. It looked like where's my gift, sir? Different. And he starts doing a Teddy Pendergrass song. Yeah, it was the kiddo of Deluxe.

Man, my father was man, he, this is a nutcase, man. Which, which, it made for good comedy. He was a good, he was a good wild dude, you know, he would pop up here and there and you know, I remember he, um, he beat my stepdad up. Oh, this is what we're here for, baby. It's just why we play the game. All right, so they split up. When does your mom get remarried? It's not remarried. Just re-situated. Sure, sure. Very well put. Re-situated. Yeah, that wouldn't have married the back game. It was like, hey, we together.

We going steady? Yeah. So about nine. Okay. About nine. And he comes into the house, so you guys move it. He comes into the house, which is fucking sucks. Why was he not cool?

Very abusive. Damn. Very abusive. You that tuned them up though Totally like I call my dad like in told me to hit me and my dad came love really love One of those moments yep, holy shit, and then I remember they all too The madness he's ever been in life at me my step my step dad at the time They my dad was whooping his ass, and I don't know how, I don't know how it happened.

Fuck his bitch. Well, he got, my dad got put out the house, and the door was locked. And I remember my dad, and this is the most, I think this is the craziest, he's ever, it was a low psychopathic moment. He was like, because he was trying to get in back in the house. And I remember, I was about to do it.

My dad, I don't know how he even sensed it. I was about to do it. He was like, son, unlock the door. I was like, unlock the door. I unlocked the door. My dad came right back in with my Such a great moment. That's all right. Yeah, I do every divorce kid no matter what the step that done Yeah, that's gotta be the fantasy. Yo, my dad's gonna beat your ass my dad. Wait till my dad here about this. Oh, yeah, my name was Walter Campbell my dad beat his ass

Straight out and I remember living in a apartment. It was two times that my dad came over Then you I don't think most people haven't had a full-out family fight like our family versus another family Yeah, together. Yeah, together. So, that's my sister. His fight in his girl name, Sean. I don't know how to even get into it. My sister's fight in his girl name, Sean. And the girl scratched my sister. And I push her. I was like, stop scratching and fight.

Cause my sister's good box. I'm like, stop fucking scratching and fight. So when I push the girl, I'm trying to break it up. I'm not even breaking up. Fight fair. I want a good, clean fight. So her brother hits me. Her brother hit me. I'm trying to break it up. I'm not even breaking it up. Fight fair. I want a good clean fight.

So her brother hits me. Her brother hit me. And we, we a whole boxing family. Like we all box, so I'm, I'm on her brother ass. And then your mom's putting them out, please. And then his mom comes out and jumps on my sister. My mom comes out and it's on his mom's ass. Boom. So they have brother. The mom's brother comes out. My stepdad is fighting his mom's

brother. She's a crazy. I'm saying that has filled him a voice. So then they dad comes out and jumps on my stepdad with fighting the uncle. My dad happens to be coming to the house. He's got a full suit on. My dad is not even scheduled to come to the house and nothing. He's dropping something out for my sister and he just like oh He takes the jacket all my dad six three right and so he's real smooth like he like oh, it's a fight Like it's like he don't recognize who's fighting you know, I'm so he's he's like oh shit And he jumps on the dad. It's like it's a full-fledged family brawl in these apartments called willow Ridge apartments in Houston, all for Maine and we straight out fight and we whoop they family ass

That's like you've lived movies That's a Hollywood written man. You dad show it up was alright out of nowhere my problems like I'm like oh I didn't even know I didn't even realize that was him and things like in the middle. I'm like oh this is my pops Like something from the Avengers It was cool man, and I never forget it was a cool this shit. It was right by the laundry mat. It's crazy It was a cool this shit. It was right by the laundry man. It's crazy I know the details of this fight like because my

The last couple of minutes after that must have been like couple of high five You had them in the headlock Sit in there I see your knuckles. I was like, I don't even know what happened. You fucking fight now. Gang this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Callin' all the screwballs out there. Got two of us here right here in the room. Gang, do yourself a favor. Get a little online therapy going, help shout.

I mean, how many times are you doing stuff for other people? What are you doing for yourself? Yeah. That's what you got to ask. That's what I'm trying to learn. Help me help you, baby. Of course. Gotta get on a little online therapy.

It's good to talk to somebody. It's good to talk, talk it out with somebody. Sometimes you don't have a certain specialist in your area and better help can help with that. Yeah, gang. You know, I've always said, right? Talk to her. Scott's nuts. Talk therapy is a good tool to use throughout your life.

You don't need to do it all the time, but you know, just something to bounce it off of or somebody, for someone to hear the crazy in your head, what you think is not, and they go, yeah, that's not that crazy everybody does that. What are you talking about? Do this, do that. It's fucking fantastic.

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When my mom was like a really, she was building computers at the time. Like my mom was a very smart lady, very high class. And it's like she's a history professor now. Really? I was gonna ask you, what did she do when you were young? Oh, she worked with my mom. Worked.

Worked. Yeah. And first my mom had two jobs and went to school. And I didn't know that she was going to electronic school. My mom used to build mainframe computers. Okay. And then she used to run like, you know, before five or after, they used to run them through coal lines.

And saying, which is a weird thing. My mom was a registered nurse. She was in my mom just. She was doing that. We got work. And so she's always done something So if I bring up right now about my mom fighting She has fucking amnesia my mom has

She forgets that I was with her from the time that she was 20 years old sure true I've been with you. You're basically a roll of your dope life and my sister has been one of since she was 18 It was actually a my sister's 18 so we have been there when you wasn't as matured you are now woman And my mom she acts like we like we make it up shit on her like my memory you slap that lady and Came off like You know what I'm like, my mom remember you slapped that lady in K-Maw pocket line. She's like, I have no recollection.

I said, I bleed to fifth. So you think I'm just making a politician testifying her for the kind of good. K-Mart, you just think I'm just thinking, making up K-Mart. And you slap in the lady and K-Mart just making it up. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Right about the popcorn. So specific. I said, mom, remember that lady slapped me behind the donut and you came home and beat the shit out there lady. She was like, what are you referring to? And why? I was on vacation that way. Why are you bringing it up now?

No, I wanted everybody to know what type of person that you, that you, like why I'm like I am. Sure. My mom, this lady was babys I am sure my mom this lady Was babysitting us and my mom told me after I finished all my chores. I could have this donut and this lady Said that I couldn't and I'm like no my mom said I could have it So I'm eating the donut and the lady comes in and slaps me and Back then we had a rotary phone and I remember

Called him my mom's job and the next thing I know I just heard. And we live in apartments and that's how my mom stopped that we lived in apartments and we heard her. I like that he's dropping dynamite everybody. Oh, I can't have the donor. My mom came and whoop the shit out getting lady and drug her down the steps We had semen steps in these apartments. She drug her down the steps and she came back up and told my sister now

You got to watch him shit and then went back to work I'm on my lunch break right now. Yeah, my mom my mom was a beast damn That's all right, and like I remember, I was like, I could like, she had grandkids now, so she don't ever want her grandkids to know. Of course. Typer person she was, and I would always say, hey man, I tell my son, listen, man if I would have did this, my mom would have beat the shit

out of me, and he'd be looking like, grandma. No. A sweet old lady, she would never do that. Not grandma. And I'm like, no, listen man, you don't know your grandma, like I know your grandma. And I'm like, no, listen, man, you don't know your grandma. Like, I know your grandma. You call your mom, she comes over and beats her mom. Yeah.

They spend all this time together. And she does, like, my mom is in a different position than she was when she was, of course. Yeah. Like, she took him to Spain, right? They in Spain for like two months. Damn. And they hang out because he speaks Spanish

and she wanna reemerge him and he's come, so we, I come back. This is your son, we're talking about. This is my son. Okay, so they went over to Spain for too much recently. Yeah, last year. Nice. Yeah, all right. No, you before last.

Okay. And like this lady here was, she is really big on this boy. Like, I'm like, you know, you never, like I want to live in Atlanta and Memphis. Like I think it was Spain. Like I don't even think I had a goddamn passport at all. Like, we used to fly and it kind of make you,

but I think now it makes me hate flying. Really? Because of how I flying back when planes really had real thing. Like I was on pan am and I was on TWA, I was on these different. Sure. And we had real meals.

Now you saw always wonder, if I'm back here in the back, getting a lead quarter, mashed potatoes, this way they would always be. Oh, back then. Pe This one they would always be. Oh, back then. Peas and carrots were always together. Like even in like the oven meals.

Sure. They were always together, right? Yeah. Peas and carrots. So if I'm thinking I got a lead quarter, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots, a coke, I get the full coke. Mm-hmm. Like what are they having in the first class?

You know, that's why you was thinking, but now I'm in first class, and they're not having shit in the back or in the front. Right, like that. Yeah. It was a more sophisticated way to travel back then. It was. It was more than everybody was smoking. Not everybody could afford it, yeah.

You know what's crazy? I remember that the planes in the arm rest they had at the Australian Orange, and I remember this man, I never get this guy. Cause it's like with your, maybe your memory is so vivid. He had this thick black mustache like, what's my guy from Magnum P.I.

What was his name? Tom Sallick, Tom Sallick. Yeah, the Tom Sallick, right? And he, with these little round glasses and I never get him packing his, packing his, I knew a cigarette smoke because my mom smoked business and his mid-thousand the box and so we had he packing them anything a young man where would you be going and I and I and I turned to my sister like he is cool this shit that's like a pain in commercial man is right Man, it's right next to the E. Cool. He ain't. Yo man, who am I, you be going?

I'm like, ah, he's a commercial. That's a commercial for SIG. That's a commercial for flying. He was at mustache and stuff. Like, who, man? Tom Selleck, I don't think we're doing. Tom Selleck was like, all right, man. I'm selling the shit out of the Magnum P.

I was, who didn't want to look like fucking Tom Selleck? You know what I, I mean time I put stuff on my chest to think I had chance to make a chest hair Like you know, Burke Reynolds. Oh, man. Yeah, how old are you at the time? No right now. Oh 49 49 so I'm 40 I'm 47 So that was yeah, that was remember Burke on the best game road Yes, the picture on the best you like yo man What type of cool? desk in real. Yes, the picture on the desk. On the desk, you're like, yo man, what type of cool ass you just do. That was like scandalous at the time. And it was definitely scandalous.

Yeah, every aunt, every mom, oh my God. Him and Bert Reynolds, is that what you talking about? Yeah, Bert Reynolds. Woo, forget it. Bert Reynolds, Billy D Washington, Bert Reynolds Tom Selleck. Billy D Williams. Yeah, Billy D Williams. Yeah, I don't know Billy the Washington

That's a comic I'm sitting there. I just talk I just talk to him. Billy Washington is a comic my fault He's also very good looking Huh, they were all right back then man. It's good stuff. All right. We're cuz we were gonna ask you when did you get your passport? That's a big question. Yeah, it's a big're gonna ask you, when did you get your passport? That's a big question. Yeah, it's a big question. How old were you when you got your passport? 28. Okay.

Later in the game, where were you going? I was going to Brazil. Okay. For vacation work. No, we was shooting this movie over there called, this is very independent. We, this is a very independent movie. Brazilian butts three.

I wish I was Brazilian butts three. I've seen one and two. I doubt she'll wish I was in three. I'm a big fan. I could, I could, if, if some of this footage that we did not put in the movie with the guy now, the damn show is, specifically, big butt Brazilian spot three.

We were shooting a call live from Rio. It was a, I think we was trying to be the first like group of traveling guys that would go and shoot a movie somewhere in a different country. That was the goal. It was 10 of us went to Brazil and had a good time. We went doing carnival. and had a good time. We went doing corner-bought. And it was good.

It's crazy. And this is us right after we came off of this thing called the Cap of Beach party. It's a big thing that happens down in Galveston. And it is huge. People heard of like the Atlanta Freaknik. This was way better. Really? Didn't know Atlanta Freaknik. This was way better. Didn't know Atlanta Freaknik, way way better. Yeah, Cababeech party.

And all you had to do was find the U-Haul. It's like, this was very unorganized. It's like, we didn't have, you just get a hotel room, you go down to Galveston. And it's gonna be a lot of ladies walking around with very skimpy, bikini gonna be a lot of ladies walking around with very skimpy shbickini zone a lot of dudes out there with no shirts on old up trying to impress the ladies with small bathing suits on and then you add a DJ on

top of a U-Haul and this shit goes crazy. He's on top of the U-Haul. All you guys do is find the U-Ha you and it goes down. Damn, it sounds like a good time. It was a great deal. What you do with next year? It was a great time. Okay, other vacations as a kid. What would you, where would you guys go?

Would you go anywhere? We would just go visit family. Go visit family. Mrs. Cibis Chicago, New York, L.A. Mostly driving, or would you be flying? It'd be flying. My mom, New York, L.A. Mostly driving? Or would you be flying? Flying. You'd be flying. My mom, my mom, but we, my mom will work really hard

in order to get us places. And I think we didn't need vacations. When did she start doing, start doing good with the career that she wanted? Like what that she was going to school for? Oh, man. I think we were living, because she, when she was, I think 83, I'm gonna say 83.

Okay, how old were you? 10. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna say 83. Yeah, because I remember I came back to Houston in 1983. My mom was a very responsible person. When she felt like she couldn't take care of us and we wasn't in the best position,

she would send us to live with other family members. Okay. Which, you know, we're doing pretty well. And I come from a family which I am the only unachiever in my family. Like on my mother's side, every person with the college, every person had something like,

my mom, my mom has a master's degree. Like, she, my sister has a master's degree. My sister has a master's. I have... The one that was fighting. Yeah. My sister's... The fighter is probably in the 2% towel of intelligent people on this planet.

Really? Because she's a fucking genius. We're tired, Navy. Okay. In all type of special ops in the Navy. Monsters is a serious woman. Like her husband is a lieutenant Colonel. Just retired.

Gary respect the bone of God. She raised all six children. Hunter, husband, six kids. They never went to school. All of them are home school. And three of them graduated from college, two of them getting ready to go. No kidding.

She's a fucking genius. Home school. Look at that. Home school, like my sister is, right now my sister is in Thailand teaching English. Hmm. That's not homeschool the way you were homeschooled. He didn't go to sixth, seventh grade for some reason.

Yeah, he just stopped going'm watching day time TV okay Watching the view and shit hey man a little Christmas goes a long way Hey my kids are homeschool are they yeah, who does it you have it to like somebody come in or you do it? Yeah, someone comes in and does it. I started and then you know I'm on the road so they finish all of in all of my homeschool There's only one that wasn't homeschooled is my older kids and My my daughter is a chef. She has a master's in whatever food Science yeah, some kid well very learned people learned people my everybody seems to have a fucking master's degree my dad

Even though he didn't go to College anything my dad owned a carrier service like in the early 70s Where he would they you know they didn't have facts machines and all that so he would carry all these legal papers between sure Attorney offices gotcha and they and they would money as well Which they had these bags with the keys on zipper keys. Yeah, like bank bags are so bank bags So I love those things which led him into selling cocaine It's a lateral move. I think it was a sign because like back then powder cocaine I want people to do was like attorneys and then shit

Yeah, so he was like I'm a carrier. I got money He's like I'm a carrier. I got money. I got the clientele like hey, why not do double lippen sell powder cocaine This is in the 80s and this this is that's old school I call it sound or okay, and that's real old school shit That's not just calling a coke. He's on powder. Okay, yeah, cuz he sounds like a new brand or something coke people think like crack He's like you said no, he's like no, this is pal. This coke. People think like crack. You're like, you said, no, it was like, no, this is power, this is in this raw as form. This is still when it's in the vows. It's going in the brown vows.

So this is what you gotta, and I would watch him take the little and dip in the vows and then he had like all these vows and they had different, it was different sizes. It was like four different size vows. And it was fucking crazy. Your dad sounds like the coolest dude in the world. He kind of does, man. He's fucking people up.

He's got a suit. He's trying to get ladies moving, is moving blow. All Taylor May suits. He's got all that coke money. I mean, it was, my dad had a lot of philosophies about things. He owned one pair of jeans, two pair of khakis, and then maybe 70 Taylor mates. That's a gentleman.

That is a fucking gentleman. Huh. I'm talking about Ollie's, Ollie's ropa boots, Ollie's loafers, and my dad was, he was a different too. And I remember he had this, Old school. He had this German, he had four cars, I remember he had this old school. He had this German.

He had four calls, right? He had a Z28. He had a... Wait, the Iraq Z28? The Iraq Z28. No shit. He had the, um... The company, of course he thought I was talking about.

He had this. That's so fuck. I come to the job. You guys are younger. It's hard to describe how popular those cars are. I only know from seeing it in movies, they're nuts. Yeah, and then he had a motorcycle, he had a, it drove a goat, he had a go wing motorcycle.

He had this little Toyota that he would do his deliveries in. The care for the carers, and then he had this car that was from Germany, right? At the time, it was only like four of them in the United States. And him and his guy used to meet up to see what they can get parts from and on. I'm like, you just can't take this car to a regular place. Oh, this is a German car. Can't get the parts. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, man, why do you even have this car?

And then when he got rid of that car, he got the best car in the world that I thought was the Sexy's car and where he had a Poojo Oh, Joe. Yeah, it was it's this royal blue and the in size was tan 11 That fucking car was he had good taste. That's his 80s is a good Poojo And I remember when he got rid of Poojo. I was like great poo porn when it ends He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy.

He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy.

He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy.

He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. And this is a sob now is fancy and he would only wait here. I knew man You understand he would and when he got the sob He will pull up and he would you would hear shard a just blast Like he sounds smooth I'm sure he kept the cars immaculate too. Man, yeah. That can picture them. He had the, um, I thought it was only for the motorcycle, but he actually had one for every car and they was different.

He had the covers. The tarp, yeah. The tarp. He had this tan one that he would put over, over there and then he had this, the blue one for the motorcycle just get, uh, and his, he was Magnum PI. Jesus Christ. Never tell you the crazy name of my mean, he was Magnum PI, Jesus Christ. Never tell you the crazy name of my pops. So he had a wreck on his bike.

Okay. And I remember that day, he had his jeans on, he was going to ride. And he walked back and now he said, man, I just feel like I need to put my leather on. So he had his jacket on, had his boots, had his gloves, helmet, he gone. And then maybe two hours later,

there's a tow truck pulling in front of the house. He tells me that a huge piece of wood, like a two by four was on the freeway. And when he got over, from behind his truck, he got over, he didn't know it was that so poem he hit it and he went down and he slid off the exit and I said man why you not why you not oh fuck up you took my oh man I just sat down on the bike and let the bike slide off and so you're sitting down on a wreck bike this time. Pack a pack of six.

He just sliding off and he's talking to me as if nothing is wrong. If that's normal, yeah. Like he's cool even in a fucking motorcycle accident. So they taking the bike off the thing and he walks in the house and I'm behind him and I know that I said, hey, do you know your pocket or your jeans, tall? He said, what? And then he reached back and he said, I didn't talk piece of my ass out.

You don't know that you got a chuck of your ass missing? Like because it was a piece of his butt was missing where he was sliding the back. And it was like, it was like the corner his butt was missing where he was starting and it was like It was like the corner his wallet was was scratched up his jeans and then it's butt And I was like and he had to go get some stitches Like I said man, you probably bled in the toe truck man. You just blood all of It's nothing to it, baby. I was nothing to it, baby.

I was nothing to it, baby. I was nothing to it, baby. That's what he into with another dude, baby. Everything's all right. Based off of that, how many suits do you have now? Yeah, let's do some cues here. Oh, man. It's a shame. It's probably 30. 30. That's the classiest answer

we've ever had. Man, that's a first. Yeah. 30. And I assume you know how to tie a tie. Bow tie in a tie. You know how to tie a bow tie. Really? Yeah. Man, you might have the wildest backstory, but you might be the classiest guy. Asgot. Damn. You wanna talk? Three. What? Look for the CIA. What the fuck? Are you James Bond, dude? What the fuck?

I'm on the phone. What's the house like now? You're in Houston. Nice house, I presume. You're doing well. You're doing well, of course. Nice house. Nice house.

I got two poosjos. You're doing what you don't know of course of course nice house I got two poosjos Okay, dirty suits What's the closet like walk-in situation walk you got it? I got star Starbucks in there No, you know, I I have a very nice closet. I got it done by California collages. I used to work for rich guys That's very fucking California closets is Those are heavy checks you cut the California closet

I'm in all right here we go You can tell any accident work when I did no that's a nice I used to have the I used to do bookkeeping for rich guys And I would have to cut their checks and they all got they all buy a place and get California closet to come in and Fucking heavy bike checks had to go out the California This is probably more impressive. Yeah. Not only so I got my closet, the upstairs bookshelves, the closet in my son's room, the closet in my daughter's room, and then I had them come and do the shelving for the garage.

They did all that And the show is very nice. Yeah, they do good work I hear people pulling to my garage like Isn't that such a flex though doesn't that feel good? Like I'm coming to the garage And it's you know because the lady who lives in my house, she, she has a non-profit organization. Okay.

Yeah. She lives there. Yeah, the lady who lives in my house, they, you know, they say they, she's a wife, but, I see, yeah, that's what he calls his wife. I picked up on my car. All right, all right, all right. The lady who lives in my house has a non-profit organization

called Mary Kate. So she sells Mary Kate and very non-profit. That is a cold blood. That is fucking cold blood, dude. Ah! I remember the first time I said it and she was like, I fucking hate it. She runs a non-profit company.

I'm gonna put it in okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. It's crazy. The lady who lives in my home, I'm using that. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. So my, the reason why we in this house is because my mom was looking for a home, because she wouldn't get out of a condo, and she kept coming by my house saying, oh, it's so nice over here. And I told the lady who lives in my house, I said, hey, I think my mom owns this house. And so we found another house three minutes away. Damn. And we packed up everything, moved to that house

and I called my mom with my house. And she's like, nobody's here. I said, just go in the house, open the door. And she goes, did y'all move everything? I'm like, yes, so you can move in. Damn. And so I gave my mom my first house. Everything I'm like, yeah, so you can move in damn and Yeah, so I gave my mom my my first house and Holy shit to scene from American gangster. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's fucking no, no shit

Look at you damn just got her to house. Just here you go Okay, what a house and then she asked me to remodel the kitchen. I said, what's that? You're a great for shit. You didn't dare want to get fuck you. Who's your house? And then you asked me to remodel the kitchen. Yeah, no, would you know down payment? No, ask for money. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who of these California closet people I keep hearing about. Holy shit man. Talk about it. Come on. That's a boss move.

Let's fucking go. Okay. In the bedroom, King mattress. King. King, California King. Okay. Is it her sinks in the bathroom? He is in her sink.

Oh, you got the shower separated? So I went to tub separate. Showering the tub. How many car garage we looking at? Just two. Two. Okay. Separated so I went to top separate. I'm gonna talk how many car garage we looking at just to two, okay I wish it could be the next house because I'm buying some I'm buying some property and I want a because we have upstairs downstairs now. I want a 5,000 square foot flat one floor one floor that with little levels to it inside

But we get it built from the ground up because I'm that's a big house one by the land. How can you want to do all one floor? The stairs I don't stairs I don't want to keep doing them. Just thinking about down the line. Yeah sure smart and so the property in the back I have I've've mapped this property, it's like 2.8 acres. Okay. And so I got it pretty mapped out, the house in the front and then I want a greenhouse, like maybe 90, 30, 90 feet, 30 for what? Greenhouse, I can grow all the stuff we want to grow.

And could I get trying to try to find Seated watermelon cuz I don't eat Non-seated water. You don't eat seedless water. Yeah, see this watermelon. How come just cuz they're genetically engineered Yeah, they genetically engineered. I'm like what the hell is that like right? I'm not that up across why can't you spit out the damage? It's a hard stance, but I like it. Yeah, so. I've never heard of someone who doesn't like them. Yeah, I love them.

Cause they make you sterile. What? The genetic, what they do to do that chemical make you sterile. Oh, fuck, really? And I, I like children. Toby, we're building a greenhouse. Maybe I start eating them when I'm 55. Yeah.

Slow down a little bit. Yeah, good, you know, and I just want to, I want a little compound where I can just go. Love that. Sure, because man, we're doing, let's say doing COVID, right? I had COVID for like 32 days. Damn. And I had a stand hotel and I had to pay for myself,

no reimbursement from the government and nothing like that. Sure. Do it myself. Because everybody was at your house. Family was at your house. You got it. Yeah, I had to go. Cool.

Right. But it was people who I knew in other places that had COVID and my buddy was calling me wit COVID. Like, yeah, you know, telling I'm fishing on my pond. Because he has all this land. He's like nine acres. Yeah, you know, tell us I'm fishing on my pond Because he has all this land. He's like nine acres. Yeah, like a little guest house or something like that. So he was He at COVID his family was in the front house He's in the house that they have that's off in the woods like he often greed on his own land He's chilling. Yeah, he's not vacation. He's on vacation. He's hunting. He's fishing. He's coughing, but he's by itself

He's like and it was it was insane. I was like, you know something. I Want to I want a piece of this. Yeah, plan it. Well, I can just go and shut it down and just do whatever I want to do and By land and on land is the best way to do it. Okay. I like you growing this thing now, you guys have vegetables growing in the house now? Yeah, I haven't, I've been on the road and I haven't been able to do it. That's why I'm getting this greenhouse. Okay.

When I was growing things really regular, the lady who lives in the house has a problem with coming outside, turning on the damn sprinkler system. And so as I would come back and either, you, the birds of eating all my tomatoes. So lady in the house. It's a raccoon who was like really sampling my ochre. Like he was like, he was like all the ones at the bottom way

but it was the time. Like he was like, and it was, it was a poss and it was, it was a pysome who was, who was really into zucchini and squash and cucumbers. It was really, yeah. And then the rest of it slug, man, it's the, I was in the slowest war with snails and slugs. Like it was, it was, I was, I was souting the ground. I was, I was soughtin' the ground.

I was doing a lot. You gotta be on top of it. I was puttin' beer this day, like you gotta put the beer, I was puttin', like it was puddles, I would cut out things and have cans of beer, like they would just fallin' to the beer. Man, it's like these goddamn slugs, new. They was like, no, no, no, no, no,

they just saw it over there. Yeah. That's smart. Let's go around. It was like, no, no, no, no, no, it's thought over there. That's more. Let's go around. It's like they were using the fence because like, it was crazy. And then the plague happened. I had no idea that I was living in this zone where all these caterpillars and worms migrated before these houses were there. Oh, sure. They would just come. They're just probably the state.

They normal thing. Mm-hmm. My garden was with the best it ever been. I'm weak going out there. We eat and food. We all. And then the play it comes. They come through.

Chance y'all. Desimated my garden in a night. Yeah. And you couldn't stop because they were all on the houses. It was like, it was like a billion of them. I'm like, yeah, the greenhouse. Greenhouse. But like my mom is in that house now.

She grows everything. Okay. My mom had a butterfly garden out there now. She has all sorts of food out there. When I buy something, I take it over there, I'm like, can you do it? And she, for some reason, she has managed to avoid the plague. It's like she has all this stuff. And then she has a lot of bird feeders.

So the birds come and just sit there and wait on caterpillars. Eat the caterpillars. It's a caterpillar. Yeah. Flys, mosquito, and then this, and the, like I told them, the gants of a garden, what you need in the garden, you need ladybugs. Sure.

Ladybugs are like the bullies of a garden. Really? And if you buy them, they will leave. But if you, if you put, if you got to attract them, if you put felt out there, they love that. So you grow, felt there come and there just sit in the garden. Did it, it's crazy. We, my brother, Garden's last year, that's why I asked you.

Very classy thing to be gardening. He was growing weed. You know, fucking. Good crop. For my greenhouse. No plague for that. But we started this year with a couple tomato plants. So we have a couple tomato plants and sure as shit, maybe like a week ago, I'm up there

and a ladybug lands on me. I'm like, what's this? And I put it over to think there's a bunch of ladybugs that live on our tomato plants that are there flying around. And that's keeping all the rest of the body. Very classy to be gardening. Gardening's very classy. He's got 30 suits. Classiest guy ever meant.

That's crazy. I remember when I got out the street, so I'm not in the street so no more. And maybe, I'm gonna say about seven years ago, me and my, I had a altercation with somebody, and I went to go see one of my old friends, and he has his huge garden. And we talking about the situation.

And he said, Manazzo, hope that this works out that y'all can rectified in situation because it turns to be just like this and I would prefer not to bury anything in my god. It's easy. Right. I just played the strawberries right now. Yeah. Yeah. I said, I said, I said, I'm, I'm, I'm, we gonna get it together. He's saying, man, hopefully so. Jesus.

If I ever, I have to get involved. And I was just saying, I said, man, even in your old age, you're still very medicine. That's a very medicine. In a, in a garden, you just, you still very medicine. Yeah. That's a very medicine. And a garden, you just seem to be very medicine. And you've gone into my, yeah, but can I get you to step off my Rookalo? Oh, I didn't know it.

No. Because they, man, you grow lettuce. Grow lettuce. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We haven't closed yet. Okay. The bank and children still shut this whole thing down. And with that with that property, I was 45 days out of closing this property. Then one of the relatives dies. They have to sell this property because their grandmother, the lady who originally owned the property between all our kids, she put in her will but they had when they had to sell it because she didn't want the war.

The flight number. Right over it. So one of them dies. Now they got it. I had to go back in the mean and then what, another thing that happened, the, the, um, the title company gets shut down for some sort of fraud. And right before we had to move all our money to the to another title

Come on, he'd be caught up in that lawsuit and I would lose that that earned this money I mean it's been a it's been on a deal so now I'm probably maybe Another 60 days out or closing on that property on the new one on the new property takes forever takes for and I thought we was done Didn't this guy decides he want to pass? He want to pass and set it into a whole other motion of if his kids got something to do with me. They just sell me the damn problem. Sure, damn.

And this is just the land. There's no home. There's nothing on it just the land. It's just the land. And it's the hardest thing to get a loan on. And this is two acres, you bought? 2.84. You can't let you forget that.

I start calling that three, by the way. Yes, and I already have it because I've looked at it so much that I got it broken up for my kids. Every kid on a plot of this land. So and I own the center part. That's a corner of everybody's land. So nobody can sell a land without me at all because I own the end corner of our dis guys playing chess. Yeah, you're like a Rockefeller. A dupe on.

A push. Then the dupe was gotta be the coldest guy that I found in the American history. I was everybody looks over to do what even though I'm the Kenny's and everybody else know the fucking do-pons. That's why they're quietly just fucking stacking cheddar and killing people. They got the right state. Yeah, yeah. They got Delaware.

They got Delaware on. Delaware. I think you, I don't think you can be in Delaware without being a do-pont. It's like they marry cousins. Oh, sure. They can build ties. They can build ties. They can build ties. So that's what you're going for? be in a do-pont. It's like they marry cousins. I'm like, sure. I would, for sure marry a do-pont cousin. So that's what you're going for?

No. That's what this guy's doing. I'm talking about tomato plants. Oh, you mean the sediques from Houston? Yeah, I've heard about those. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They got a long money, those guys.

You know, it's somebody hit me with the, it was crazy. You get to a point where people think that you making enough money that starts even include you in certain conversations. Hey, cause I know maybe like 15 years ago, it's no way somebody would have called me and said this like so boldly, look,

Hey man, it's 10 acres in this small town that's available $100,000 what you talking about doing I was like Talk about hanging up right now Let's go down and look at it and I went down there to look at the property and I'm not ready for what I would have to do. Because this 10 acres of rural land.

I just know it's nothing on this land. Knock down trees, cover up swamps, whatever the fuck you got. You got the pipes in on that stuff. Bill Joe, I mean, dig a whale, put electricity in. And I'm thinking, I'm not ready. But then last month, I was like, I met a guy at a hat, we had a hat. He's playing Monopoly down there, dude.

Yeah, I remember one. He's gathered her in all fakers left and right. I met a hat store. I met a hat store. That sells these really nice hats. Me and his guy talking. Uh-huh. And he's like, he's down there in Texas, got the bushes nervous.

You know, I build, you know, I'm like, you build from scratch. Yeah, we clear land and I say, hey, man, what it, well, I had like 10 acres of rural land. But we would do the bulldozer vision. I say, well, let me get your card. Game is card. And we've been in talks. I'm like, I said, let me close on this.

And then I'm thinking 10 acres, I can let it sit there. I can loan the owner. And I want to get another business partner. But then I'm, that's a family member versus something. I was going to say, we'll throw in a couple of hundred. Give us a little, I got two grand on it. Let me, let me wet my beak on it. So, so, so, just say, say you get this land, right?

And you take, and you break it up, and you sell to the acres, you know, just something to somebody. Then you take two acres and you, and you build a bunch of tiny homes For people to be able to live in that's kind of like You know it's you you tiny home, but you kind of roll a little bit and so now you own a like a nice little community Yeah, you are a duper you're a super smart rich guy We're getting to like I'm you're yeah, I'm looking at cuz I know me I'm not gonna do stand up Forever I'm probably gonna retire and I've been saying 25 20 20 25

But I'm thinking more like 26 cuz I'm gonna probably announce the theater to 24 and so it probably do two two years of that and then lay it down. People are like, why would you do that? Because at some point when you start touring a lot, you become restless. And I didn't know what that meant. But I jump up and I'm already where I'm supposed to be. And that's an uneasy feeling.

If I go on vacation, I have to go for at least three weeks because the first week. He can't shut it down. Oh, I gotta be said, you know what it's like to be on the resort and you think I gotta be here at this time. I gotta be here at this time.

Like no, I don't have to be anywhere. Sure, I have the same thing. Three weeks. Yeah. What do you like to do on vacation? What do you like to go? What's a vacation now? A vacation now is me and my children in the lady who lived

my house just. You bring her with you? Good guy. Going somewhere. So after this press run, I leave here thirsty. I'm technically done. I'm technically done. I'm technically done until after the Fourth of July. I go to Oklahoma on the seventh, the sixth, seventh and eighth.

I'm not doing a show until then. And I started a tour in January. The second week of January, first week of January. And we haven't shut it down until now. So I'm technically off until after the 4th of July. So when I go back We gonna we gonna probably go to this water park called callahari hangout hangout there Come back and I'm going to Do some stuff around the house and then I'm gonna do what I've been wanting to do is poppin' on some comedic friends.

You know, like that's, as always, being a thing, like, cause guest spots, I wanna bring back what a real guest spot. So funny, I was thinking about that today, yeah. I'm sure. Like, this was a guest spot. I'm in Nashville, maybe two months ago. I'm getting ready to do this show.

And Ricky Smiley was like, yo, hey, I'ma come see you. And I was like, cool. And I'm thinking about mine. As soon as you get it, I'm putting this ass to work. As soon as you get it. As soon as you get it. As soon as you get it.

So Ricky comes and the middle is on. And I was like, hey, Ricky, you wanna go out and do something? He's like, yeah, sure. So I go out and I say usually I wouldn't start my show like this y'all, but yeah, I got a special guest who wanna say something. Big shout out to answer Johnson in the building. Big shout out to Marvin, Hunter in the building,

Marcus Diwali, Blame, miss Patissia, but one of my friends want to come out and say something. Y'all get up for Ricky Smiley. Ricky comes out and does like 10 minutes. I'm in the back. I'm kicking it. And then he does 10 minutes and then brings me out. And I'm like, that's a fucking guess. That's fun. Yeah. That's a guess. It's not like some dude that ass ain't let me go do it. So you're not a guess spot. They don't like some dude that ass ain't let me go do it. So you're not a guess spot. They don't fucking know you. You're intruder.

You're intruder on the show, sir. You're intruder. I think you're a guess spot. That has you, well, if that's like old-timey entertainment shit. It's like, ah, there's other persons here. Pop in, it's very. I also like to move of you going out. And bring him out.

So the feature was bringing you out, like you were gonna go ahead line. You go out, listen, special guest. He comes out, does this thing, you go back and hang, then you come back out. Yeah, that is old. That's the classiest guy. You're the classiest dude I've ever met in my life.

Man, hopefully not. I know some real dirt bags. I'm a rich. So I'ma pop in on both of my guys. I'ma pop in on DL in the next couple of weeks. And then I'ma pop in on Bill Bellamy. I already got, I already know it on pop in on Bill. You're just gonna pop in.

I'ma pop in. I already talked to the role of Managing Everything. They already know, everybody know I'm coming but Bill. So, Bill is probably gonna, this is what's gonna sound like, he's probably gonna be in the green room, and I'm gonna show about the, he gets there, and when the show starts, cause I used to be the original host

of his latest night out tour. Okay. I'm gonna go up with it, who, I don't give a damn who they introduce. Ha ha get in the do's whoever they want to do I'm gonna be the person walking on the stage and like I was part of me what was that let me take this and Bill is gonna be in that green room he's gonna like I know that voice and then I would love that and I'm gonna bring up whoever he's whoever he knows I'm gonna

bring up whoever's supposed to be the middle and then I'm gonna bring him up. And I know Terris is over the moon that I called him. I said to my flight information, everything. Terris is like, oh no, he's fucking really coming. And I'm like, yeah, I'm coming. I don't have nothing to do that weekend. What's up? It's so cool.

And then after the week after that, I'm popping up on D.L. And I'm like, hey, I'm here. Sky's got it all figured out. I know. He's really, really cracked the fucking code this guy. One of the coolest guys I ever met. I just think that it's a cool last thing, man, too. It's fun. Yeah, able to go somewhere. And, and I will do this with any comic. If I'm in town, and I see you guys performing I'ma come to the show if you want me to do something cool

Really make me hurt my fucking teeth Hey ladies and gentlemen one of the most prolific storyteller's all time who's gonna hand me my ass and eat my lunch Allie's to eat everybody and foley's gonna come out and do 20 minutes on those empty. Yeah. You know, don't come to our shows. You sound like somebody else. I'm not gonna say that day. I'm not gonna say that day.

And he said, I was, he said, man, this is my fault. This is totally my fault. I call him a bomb, threatening is my fault. This is totally my fault. I called a bomb thread If you know I'm in the green room and I'm and I'm minding my own business. We talking and he says I Cool and he said I'm not gonna bullshit you I only extended because courtesy because you was here, but I actually want you to say fucking no Exactly, I don't know Fuck

I'm gonna tie my shoes. I'm going to work baby Yo, and when you went up I Turned to my man and said this is the fucking worst decision Yeah, no, he's gonna like I couldn't even tell him how much to do He's like he's gonna fuck up. He's gonna fucking bury me. And he's like, at least class, he's not gonna do that. He's saying his role man is telling me,

he's like, at least class, he's not gonna do that. I did like three minutes. And then I, I, and he would have a nice one. And then I brought him up right on the roll. And then I, and then I, and he was like, after the show, he was like, I was fucking

losing it because it was like, you walked out, they fucking loved you. Soon as you walked out, and then I'm like, why don't I know him? You're up there doing 25 just bury you know, I'm with a with any show. You end the show, forget that there's so many of you. You guys have been great. I'll see you next time. I'm in Arkansas. Thank you.

They're dropping checks. What the fuck? I got t-shirts. I got a movie. You know what? I was just telling me. It's like, hey, man. You extend the album. Didn't they go up there and close your show? Good night. You know

It's an hour that's an hour. That's over an hour, yeah. So much fun, man. Man, you know what I mean? One of the classiest guy, crazy story, crazy upbringing. One of the craziest upbringing to do one of the classiest turnarounds. It's fucking amazing. Yeah.

My mom would have tablecloths, even though we lived in a not so a desirable situation. He's like, I don't know, put the tablecloths on. Like for what? I can see where you get a cheese fan, see if your dad had a lot of class. Man, you know what's weird.

When I look back on him, my dad, my mom and my dad did have a lot of different things that you wouldn't see in a normal neighborhood. Sure. My dad was, my mom drove a Camaro, like the original Camaro. What? It was great with this burg, it was burgundy inside. And I, you know how people say you don't want your mom to come to the school because they be dress crazy.

My mom, I'd never forget my mom came to the school one time I was in trouble and she I don't know fucking Mink. She I don't know Mink jacket and with this with this really sassy dress. And I remember I was like I don't I don't ever want you to come up again. Pam Greer. I am Greer. You need to do... I am Greer. I think my mom got this big curly amro. She's short.

She brows skin and my mom is gorgeous. I'm like, no, I don't want you coming up here. And I remember this boy called my mom a fox. Your mom is a fox. I'm like, you don't get the fuck out of you. You know, you second grade, I know what a goddamn fox is. He just see the corridor open the cigarette hits the ground I'll still let out just Cuz she smoked a long business with all the box and that's why I always always say like that because she always made sure

Get the missing business method in the box cuz she didn't ever want a soft pack. Yeah, sure I don't want my sick. Boxers classy to get crushed in my purse. So she always had the box. I'm like, this crazy down. For five women. Ladies and gentlemen, the special out right now, the domino effect to loss on his YouTube page.

You got to check it out. He's touring. Yes. You got to see him. Allie said, Deke, everybody. Do you want the folks to start? No, plug away. Hit him. Man, I don't't I don't think I don't even have anything else besides the I maybe I have some books I turn the first domino effect into a book. So it comes out June 27. Okay. Um

Then I have some some you know merchandise or whatever, but the biggest thing is pushing Domino Effect, too. I think it's a really, really good project. It has a message to it. That's why it's called loss and helping people cope with a lot of things that they, come sometimes people get decimated over a loss. They totally destroy it. Whether it's a girlfriend, whether it's a job, whether it's, you know, losing a mind, you know, because only I go through a lot of different things. So hopefully, you know, people gravitate towards it.

Dude, it's absolutely fantastic. Thank you. And you are one of the best folks. If you don't know, you got to check him out. He's unbelievable. Yeah, buddy. We can't thank you enough. And always big shout out, big RIP. Hopefully, resting very, very well. Chris Cotton. Yeah, shout out big RRP hopefully resting very very well Chris cotton Yeah, I'm shot after the big dog of course. Yeah, keep it what do you have for them?

We're all are you garbage tickets merged the whole nine yards will be all over the road. Thanks a lot guys We appreciate it Classiest fucking guy ever seen my life You're taking over what are you talking about cutting your checks gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Okay