Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ali Siddiq: Tuna on a Plane!

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Ali Siddiq! We're talking Pirates, World Travel and taking a break. You Know Ali Siddiq from Stand Up Comedy, Flagrant, the Joe Rogan Experi...ence, Kill Tony, Stavvy's World, Your Mom's House, Soder Podcast, Club Shay Shay w/ Shannon Sharpe, No Jumper, Your Mom's House, Domino Effect, My Two Sons and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Pestie: For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/ayg. Quince: Go to https://Quince.com/GARBAGE for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/li0uni5h As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Calling all homies and bozos, you're cordially invited to come hang out with the boys on that back on the block tour. Grab the squad and come see us. It's going to be a good time. Little stand-up comedy, plus we play RU Garbage with the crowd. Yeah, we're starting September. We're doing San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, at the Met, Rochester, New York, Toronto. Get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
Starting point is 00:00:30 you. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's
Starting point is 00:00:53 favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. So, a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that at the You're going to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. Trash. Trash.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She just won the home run derby for T-ball. Okay. 12 and under. That's good. She forged her birth certificate. I'll tell you what 400 feet she put one.
Starting point is 00:01:18 All right. My co. Is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of R. Oh, you Garberman. She's my best pal in the whole wide world. And I love him. Give it up for KJ.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang. Shout out to you. As always. Thanks for tuning. and then please make sure you're right for you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube full video available over there on Spotify too who boys are fucking climbing the charts over there top of the pops over there then obviously the greatest website of all time www.patriot
Starting point is 00:01:42 dot patreon.com slash rar you garbage baby go over there and get all that bonus content yes sir and gang we couldn't be more excited ever incredibly and i mean incredibly special guests back with us again today it's his third time on the show officially family yeah one of the absolute best in the business all right got two special specials out right now want one two specials out put them out a month apart rugged my two sons combined 13 million views over there on the YouTube give it up raleigh sadique everybody look at him 13 mil the million dollar man over here everything this guy touches gets a million it's crazy man it's funny every time we go to we posted a clip that we had with you about the the
Starting point is 00:02:24 family fight every time i go and see it that is at the top of my thing bang bang bang bang bang I appreciate it I'm just working man not like you guys four months I'm still I am still
Starting point is 00:02:39 caught up I took six weeks off and it was horrible the first two weeks it's bad we told you it's been bad you detox you're like you're trying to
Starting point is 00:02:51 like I'm waking up like you know how many time out and pack clothes on a Thursday thinking I got a flight on Friday like no you're home with nothing to live for
Starting point is 00:03:02 I don't know what's You're just going every day's this Here's how bad it is I'm still living out of my shaving kit Like my mind is still there In like a weird way I'm looking at the same people In my house I'm like no new people
Starting point is 00:03:15 I'm like this is terrible Yeah it's been a rough Worst summer ever I'll tell you that right now I can't wait to get back out on the road Yeah it's It's a it is a perspective changer For sure
Starting point is 00:03:27 And then when you come back You, um, you're so rusty. It's time in this. It's bad. I'd look back at the first show when I came back. I was like, oh, wow, look at this great open micer. These kids got potential. Yeah, he can be something if he keep doing it.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah. What's his second, third time? This guy's pretty good. We kept up with the city spots, trying to get ready for the tour and all that stuff. But yeah, it's not that. It's not that. It's the days. There's just not much to do during the day. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Tell guys get on heroin That's his wife telling us he's doing heroin If I had a number It might be a bad problem Can't find nobody I go around the high school I go around the store Nobody's got a connection
Starting point is 00:04:13 Instead if I had a number I have no numbers It's been It's been rough I came back and When I come off vacation I start doing the clubs For a couple weeks
Starting point is 00:04:26 and I don't have a problem with the clubs it's the fans that want to tell me oh man you're too big to be in the clubs I'm like did you ever say that to DL or Bill Burr I see other people in clubs working things out yeah what do you mean they tour in the clubs like how is it me I'm too big to be in the clubs
Starting point is 00:04:51 I'm just now coming back I know that I'm going back to the theaters but you can make pretty significant money and that's the thing that a lot of these um significant money these comics are starting to do because they're on they're featured on other people's theater tours that's not your tour so for you to um downplay the clubs do you know how much money you get the club for seven shows buddy we're we're listen we do it we do clubs during the week We'll go Wednesday, Thursday, Wednesday, Thursday, City, hit clubs. Shout out to the Charlotte Comedy Zone.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Yeah, shout out to it. What? That's a great. That room is so good. Big up to Charlotte Comedy. I'm on the wall. That's a check of a half. Man, do you understand.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Wednesday night. Chicken fingers ain't bad either. It's a great check. I've gotten from comedy. Sure. And this is the thing about... Was there more seats in here, I didn't realize? It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Yeah, it's crazy. It's one of these things that. I think younger comics are taking on the cachet of more season comics and then they only want to play the theaters. They want to play theaters or they want to just play the improvs or the funny bones.
Starting point is 00:06:07 What about the comedies, though? They have 40-some rules. Get down there. Hit me up. What about Rick Bronson's, how's the comedy? What about hilarities? Hallerities is great. Zanis in Nashville is awesome.
Starting point is 00:06:22 That's where we saw you. That's where we saw you. Like, what is, what is wrong with these other clubs that people, the loony bend, go to the cellar, go to the comedy store? It's other clubs other than the improv and the funny bones. Sure. Now, if you want to, if you're doing this for vanity, like, I tell people, Netflix is kind of like a vanity. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Oh, I'm on Netflix. Okay, well, you know it's other platforms that you can get a bag from. that's what you, if you're seeking out to do, or you're trying to build your fan base, you put out a special, I want to say this. That's only a bag to a few people, too. Rest of it's, you're getting retail. I definitely want to say this.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Every hour set that people are putting out, we're going to have to stop titling them specials. Like, because there's nothing, this is a set, this is an hour. Ollie wants to smoke. This is not a special. It doesn't have any perspective to it, no legs. I can't learn that from it. Yo, you ever shitted it with your boots on?
Starting point is 00:07:27 I'm like, that's not a special. I thought that was my one bit, all right? Relax, this fucking guy coming here, trash with me on my own goddamn show. Ali's starting beef with Howie Mandel? I didn't say nobody's name. I'm just saying what, man, man, every, and then they sent them, no,
Starting point is 00:07:43 let me tell you why this is a problem with me because people know that I am producing people's specials. You know, I did Marcus D. Wiley special. I'm going to drop some other people's specials that I am. have done, and some people that I'm distributing, but they send them to me. And I understand the industry now.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Gotcha. I'm just like this. Okay. Wow. This is what you want me to do. Okay. Then I said a messmate. Okay, with notes.
Starting point is 00:08:19 I'm sending people, notes on specials that they've already shot. It's nothing, you got to send this to me before. Sure. You shoot it. And then I have to say, and this is the hard part, and these are friends. Man, the last thing I would want is notes from you. You crucify me. And these are people who have to say this very kind of to,
Starting point is 00:08:44 hey, this is not what I'm looking for at this time. We're going to pass. I got a pass on people. I'm like, man, I'm like, okay. And then there's people that I'm helping write, and I see that there is a disconnect in their writing, and you're asking me to help you, like, do one-liners. But it's rough because, okay, you did that one-liner,
Starting point is 00:09:20 then what do we go from here? A special has to have a, through line of something. Yeah, it has to have some sort of through line, has to have a beginning, a middle and the end. You have to be able to wrap it up at the end. It's like, yo, bro, I don't even, and especially if you come to me
Starting point is 00:09:35 and you don't even have a title yet. I have, you have no title. So we are. Listen, everybody can't sit down in a chair and murder for an hour and a half. Some guys got to do fat jokes and airplanes stuff. I don't know what to tell you. And every shit with your boots on.
Starting point is 00:09:51 We got a label. It's fat jokes. It has to have a through line. It has to have a through line. Airplane observations. Yeah. And then it's hard to tell people that they think that what they're saying is new. And then I send you five other people who have said that.
Starting point is 00:10:16 That's crazy. And some of it was better than what you said. And this guy has been doing it six weeks. you've been in 15 years and you're doing something you've got to go live with all we do that hey he's me what'd have you be like what do for the rest of the summer
Starting point is 00:10:34 writing material I'll work in the garden I'll do whatever cut the grass whatever I'm like can you just give me okay let's surround it if you want to do all a bunch of one line okay let's surround it with 30 minutes of something about your actual life
Starting point is 00:10:46 about you and that's how we can build it but I can't I can't build something based upon everything in the news and everything that somebody else has said. Sure. Hey, man, okay, when you over 40,
Starting point is 00:11:04 you know you got the pee. Okay, we got it. Got to pee? What the fuck? That was in my 30 minutes. We got it. Man. Okay, somebody 20 and somebody 40,
Starting point is 00:11:17 they pee is different. We got it. It's been safe. Did you watch it special before you came? It's like, Damn, okay. Ali Sadiq's comedy camp. Indian food comes out fast.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I got it. I said it already. I said it 15 years ago. You're right. That's a pretty good bit. You change that to Pakistani food. Keep it gurons. Ali Sadiq's comedy camp, how fun would that be?
Starting point is 00:11:43 It would be. Be like a major pain. That would be awesome. Do you find a gany in your pocket? Just lining people up, crunk. Women. Women are just. Man, that would be an awesome movie.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Yeah. That's so funny, dude. It's a thing, so, and I just don't understand as a more-season comic. I'm still trying to get better. Like, every, man. You don't understand why everybody else stinks. That makes sense. I think people.
Starting point is 00:12:20 We do. We stink. No, people are good. I remember when he came to. dark show he's like i'm gonna hang out and back and watch i'm like i'm about to pull the goddamn fire a lot fucking talk about sending him back and watch that's funny we all just got covid holy goes you want to put him up i go he ain't going in front of me you're fucking nuts fucking put him have them close out i was going to do the checks turn the lights on then bring
Starting point is 00:12:45 you up i see how good he is now i still up there killing fuck it's like i started I started like that I started in this spot and this is where it's crazy because I used to have different rooms I have like four rooms
Starting point is 00:13:02 in a week and every room levels you up to the improv and you the first room with this room called Diallo
Starting point is 00:13:10 and Diallo if you make it through Diallo Diallo's is so crazy I'm the host and they don't give a damn about me.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Ollie, you better be on tonight. I'm like, hey, bro, I've been doing my thing up here for weeks. I don't give a damn. That was last week. You was funny last week. They got nothing to do with today. He had a heart. And it's people that be walking on the stage with their drinks,
Starting point is 00:13:36 just standing there right in your face. It reminds me it sounds like mochas. And tell you in your face, you ain't got it. You ain't got it. One of the harshest echoes I ever had was at the Laf House on South Street in Philadelphia. And a woman in the front She told me you ain't funny in your head big And it fucking
Starting point is 00:13:55 I mean I've The flop sweat that started Once she said that Yeah But it's the It's the training camp of going up Then you would do The worst room
Starting point is 00:14:07 I think my worst room Was this room The Red Cat What it was I wouldn't get bom at the Red Cat's bad And you do the crazy thing about the Red Cat It's 90% all just gorgeous women and you're bombing in front of them because they'll start chit-chatting at their table. Like if you couldn't get them, it was just, and I'd just be sitting on the sideline like, let's get off.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Just say good night. Yeah. Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Just say good night. And they drip. It was, I was like, yo, man, they will silence you out. When I start hearing the chatter, and they're like, yeah, like you on stage. And they're like, yeah, so.
Starting point is 00:14:50 It's like wildfire. You feel it grow through the crowd. Wow. The first guest spot I ever had, Turey put me up at Warm Daddy's in Philly. Yeah, he was great. We started at the Laughouse, and that's where I hosted for the five years that we were down in Philly. And, you know, got up to feature all that kind of stuff. It was me, Cotton, Cassidy, Ian Financing.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Ritchie Redding, of course. And Richie Redding. And it was quite the education, as you would know. Gives me a spot at Warm Daddy's. It's like a Sunday. packed out, everyone looks good. Food's going around, everybody's fresh. And I go up there, and I do, like, a 10-minute bit
Starting point is 00:15:25 about sledding and skiing. Silence. You've ever been to Aspen? He comes up, he's like, hey, man, don't worry about it turns out. He's like, this motherfucker talking about skiing in front of a new four black people. That murders. My shirt blew off me as I was getting off the stage.
Starting point is 00:15:45 I'm going to say this. I have never been so just. in my life because I was going to let it just slide by because you said you performed at the Laugh House in Philly then you came back with the Laugh house in Philly do you understand the Laugh house
Starting point is 00:16:01 told me that I was not good enough to come because they wouldn't book me at their spot Well just over the record we weren't good enough to be there we just so happened to be there like they were like no like they like no no passing constantly passed on me
Starting point is 00:16:16 so when I finally came to Philly I came to the punchline and I sold out like six shows and then I just was like Was the Laughhouse even still open then? And this was I asked I said hey I like to go by the Laugh house You know after the show I was like I was like yeah
Starting point is 00:16:36 Wonder why We have that we have that too At some places that pass it off our own career You're like now what Because you're you're great you know every comic's crazy To an extent at the end of the day Oh, it's a grudge. It was a spot in Houston.
Starting point is 00:16:51 The last spot would never, would never book me. It was the craziest thing. This guy that I got booked on the Tom Joyner crew. Okay. I had never seen his set anything. He was a hypnotist. Hypno, bro. He passed away.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Tom Groner. RIP to, you know, because Tom Joyner has this huge cruise. His name was Hypno bro? Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh. He was good, too. Um, he, Tom Jones has this huge cruise. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:22 For charity, it's like everybody's on there. Like, everybody. It's like artist and comics. That'd be a fun cruise. So it's like, everybody. Like, I opened up for earthwind and fire. And everybody's on this, on this boat, right? A lot of, a lot of, um, comics make their bones on this boat.
Starting point is 00:17:44 But I get him a book. I had never been on the boat before. I get it booked This lady came and asked me about him She said hey this up to you dude You know this guy He's from comic from Houston Name Hypno Bro
Starting point is 00:17:55 I've never seen his performance Ever a day in my life And I said Yeah They booked him He went on He did a good He did a good job
Starting point is 00:18:05 I think he got booked again after that So then the guy named Pete Who owned the lab spot I'm Chris Chris Hall is trying to get me booked there And the guy asked hypno bro about me and hypno bro say
Starting point is 00:18:22 well I've never seen him perform in front of a white audience damn what the fuck and Sambagging son of a bitch they they didn't book me and me and him never was he white or black hypno bro was black he was white or black
Starting point is 00:18:38 yeah I didn't I've never seen him Jewish kid I'd never seen him perform and I just vouch for him and I just vouch for him the white audience He had seen me perform at the Houston Empire with a mixed audience. What the hell does a white? I said, you know, something.
Starting point is 00:18:54 And I never, like, we never spoke again. And he passed. And I was like, oh, okay. But I was sad that he passed, but I never spoke to him again. Like, you just, did you just say that you never? That's crazy. What the hell does that have to do with me? If anything, I've.
Starting point is 00:19:14 D.L. had never seen me perform in front of white. audience either. And the second time we went out, we went to Austin. I've never seen him in front of any of the audience. We're in Pakistan. We were that Cap City. I know Italians don't like
Starting point is 00:19:28 them. What the fuck? It was more black people in the green room. It was me, D.L. than Derek Keener. And there was one other black person in the whole thing. He was the waiter. And I'm like, yo, I'm like, what does the what does the color have to do with
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Starting point is 00:21:31 pesty oh i love that pesty i know you do to yet you're the expert on pesty gang you want to take care of the bugs and little critters going around the house but you want to do it safe because you got kids and he got bets pesty is the way to go we're talking about simple we're talking about easy We're talking about you could do it yourself. Kippie did it. I was over there the other day, not mosquito one. Not a bug in sight. My wife was on it before they were a sponsor.
Starting point is 00:21:57 She schooled me on them. I didn't know about it. It's kind of cool. You feel, made me feel like a man. You set it up. You bang, boom. And then it's like you walk around the perimeter of house, around a door, around a window.
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Starting point is 00:22:34 like you're not done I go go check the perimeter go see you see a bugs out there pesty so easy your wife won't believe you that's pretty good take that to the bank there you go Copyright. Now is the time to protect your home from Bugs with Pestey. Go to pesty.com slash A-Y-G for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash A-Y-G for an extra 10% off. Do it. That's, uh, I think Keith, Keith, I heard Keith Robbins say that early on.
Starting point is 00:22:58 He's like, you never take money out of a comics. Yes. Like, you never say trash them to the, you know, because you don't know. You don't know. You just, oh, the best you can say is, I'm not that for me. I don't know. I don't know them. I don't know them anything, but like, you don't say anything.
Starting point is 00:23:12 negative about it. Give him a shot. Because I haven't seen other people. I had seen other people. The laugh spot was the only time I've ever in the history of my life wanted a comic not to be good. That was one time. I got more than that.
Starting point is 00:23:28 I'm four, I'm four months in doing stand-up and they kept wanting a comic not to be good. Oh, yes. I hope this guy sucks. I really did. So they kept talking about you got to go to this old
Starting point is 00:23:41 Mike you got to go to this old mic you know to get started so I go I am number 27 on the list he is 26 sure and we I don't know why he was talking to me he said yeah um yeah I've been doing comedy 20 years and I was like you had an old mic you number 26 and you're number 26 I was like I'd be three fours I was like I hope he is not good because he is he is he is I've been doing it four months. He's been doing it 20 years. I'm like, yo, it's going to be a long way to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:18 You know what I'm saying? If he's good. And he was not. And I was like, no wonder you're 26. And then when I came back to that spot, maybe a year later to host the open mic. He's 38. He's like still like 26, 27. And I had to bring him up like, and this guy right here when I started.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I didn't want him to be good That makes sense though I wanted to ask you about that Since you brought up the green room What's uh Anything specific in the rider Who's in there Do you bring
Starting point is 00:24:55 Like when you show to a show You're not wearing what you're going to wear on stage right You change it change in the green room And not when you're working out stuff at the clubs When you're doing you know Theater also I want to hear both Because you're doing levity You gotta make sure something's in the green room
Starting point is 00:25:11 Oh, the rider, it was crazy. The same rider that's in the theater is in the club. That's funny. Mountain Valley Springwater. That's good water. That is good water. White cheddar popcorn. Smart food?
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yes. Damn, you'd be all over me before the show, though. That creates a film on your finger. Wait, that's your snacky? Is it smart food? You're a smart food? I eat that. I eat that.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Um, strawberries, strawberries, blueberries, grapes. Okay. Tortilla chips with, um, salsa. Okay. Um. You have a preference on the salsa? Yeah. I've had some good ones.
Starting point is 00:25:52 So they don't, every salt, every place don't have the same salsa. Right. A lot of times they'll go local, which is nice. Yeah. And it's been, you know what I mean? Yeah. I've had some good. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:26:02 I think the worst one was some mango salsa that I was just going to say that's my favorite. I wasn't, I wasn't in the move for it. Really? I'm not saying that it wasn't good. I just wasn't in the... I read the title. I'm like, I ain't want no mango. Mango corn salsa?
Starting point is 00:26:17 Yeah. Woo. I wasn't in the move for it. I'm right there with you. Never in the mood for mango corn salsa. Cheese, various cheeses, crackers, and what else? Celsius. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:33 All very good. That's solid. And who's usually rolling in there with you? Who's hanging out in the green room? In the green room. is the feature of course um dray my role manager and the dj okay that's right i remember you say you roll with the dj and then family whoever walked pops in hey good to see you actually when i'm when i know that i'm having family we get a side room and i put and i cater the side room and have them
Starting point is 00:26:59 most nickles it's still my my space sure and you want your own personal yeah i'm like hey guys i'm going to dip out especially in the theaters they have multiple right right but in the clothes but in the I'm going to set up something else for the family or had a family come back afterwards. Gotcha. And had the food catered, but I still need that on space. Of course.
Starting point is 00:27:22 You're changing when you get there completely? No. You're rolling and with it on. I just don't have on my shirt. Okay. The shirt is on the hangout. So don't get wrinkled. Yeah, so it don't get wrinkled.
Starting point is 00:27:35 You're doing a sound check? At 2 o'clock. In the theater. at two o'clock you do it at two then you can go chill I go to smart so then you have the afternoon yeah we have lunch um around 12 12 12 12 30 then we go straight to sound check and then we done at the sound check what would lunch be something at the hotel or are you going out now we generally go out somewhere to some okay fancy smancy there you go you know sound check have a season the salad.
Starting point is 00:28:07 You know, I don't want to be too full because then we order in dinner to the theater mostly. Right. And that's a pretty decent meal. Okay. That's pretty good. Smart food. Caesar salad.
Starting point is 00:28:19 It's good. We did AC two weeks ago. I did a crab cake and meatballs right before. We were dying. What steakhouse did we go to? We went to, uh, shit. What was it called? The Capitol Grave.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Whatever is. Now, it wasn't Capitol Corgata. Man. Old Olmsted. Yes. You say Capitol Grill, if I tell you the clubs look crazy at us when we come. It's like, oh, you're going to get something like, no, no, no, we're ordering dinner from Capitol the Grill. They'll do it at the clubs.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yeah, and some nice restaurant, they're like, wow, okay. But you don't want nothing on this menu. No, I don't want your little cheese sticks. I don't want nothing on that menu. All the choke dip. It's all the same menu. at every comedy club across the country, except maybe two or three.
Starting point is 00:29:08 It's the same menu. I've never once in my life met an artichoke dip that I liked. It always sucks, no matter. It comes crazy. Okay, let me tell you. This isn't a club thing. It's anywhere. I've never had an artichoke tip that was good.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, you got to go. When you come to Houston, I'll take you to a place that good spinach and artichoke. Really? All right. Because it's going to come out hot. Okay. It's going to be cheesy.
Starting point is 00:29:30 It's going to be really good. And this is a, Wise guys, no, I like the club. Like the club. About to catch a stray. I'm going to say this off the top. Like the club wise guys. But stop with the red pepper hummus.
Starting point is 00:29:45 But, man, I ordered that dip. And I was like, no, I'm cool. Really? Like, I was cool on the looks. Don't even drop it. I'm good. I'm straight. And Wise guys is one of those clubs that keeps me.
Starting point is 00:30:04 keeps me very humble. I don't know why I, and this lady came to me to my mom, you are way too good to be here. I'm like, ma'am. Well, they're learning. I'm just working. I am practicing. This is like in baseball.
Starting point is 00:30:19 I got injured. I can't come right back. I got to go to the minor leaves. I got to play triple eight. She hid you 20 bucks. Here you go, baby. What the fuck? And so levity was,
Starting point is 00:30:32 levity was crazy. Because there's so many people. that saw me at the beacon. I came in and sold out the beacon and then they came to levity. He was like, yeah, you know, we just came to see you. I'm like, I said, but tell the other people
Starting point is 00:30:44 here that I'm, this is not where I'm. Tell the other people. Because I'm coming to the, I'm coming to the King's Theater in Brooklyn. Damn. Yeah. That place is beautiful. It is.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. I don't even know. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, I'm, I'm hoping that pretty soon. Old school. Real old school.
Starting point is 00:31:04 I want to do. I want to do Radio City for some reason. I really do. I want to come and do there or the garden. I would love to do the garden. Sure. Next slide, the beacon, and then that's the next thing, right? The garden?
Starting point is 00:31:17 No, the radio city, wouldn't it? Hopefully. I mean, if you're doing the Kings and however many, and levity and fucking the beacon, that's close to the, for sure. Radio? Radio. I hear it's not great for comedy, though. It's not?
Starting point is 00:31:34 It's very, there's no elevation to it. It's straight back, and then, like, there's, they're on the wall. Okay, well, let's just go to the garden. You heard it here. Shout out to, you know, when you hear other comics did something to accomplish something. Like, big shout out to Russell Peters. Because when I first heard Russell Peters sold out the garden for, like, 90 days. I was like, okay, it was, whatever ridiculous number.
Starting point is 00:32:04 he sold it out. I was like, that's big. And then I heard Andrew Schultz that sold out, you know, Coltter Schulte. Cosby had always sold out. But then I heard a youngin, one of my young guys sold out, Matt Rife.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Yeah, I don't have to him. I was like, yeah, it got to be coming for me soon. It got to be coming for me soon. Cooking. Yeah. A bunch of young white girls who think I'm hot. well you're going to get them on this show i tell you that our listeners young hot white chicks
Starting point is 00:32:39 for sure on that same tip of the uh of the of the green stuff you just happen to mention on your way over the you're run of the store if you're at home okay and you're hanging out whatever around to the 7-11 or the whatever just to grab a couple snacks or if you're on the road all right and we pull off to get gas or whatever i'm going to run and grab something what what's that looking like is like is it a gatorade is it cashews what what's what's the little treat cashews salt the cashews smoked almonds a celsius keeps it tight anything on the sweet side we do a gummy we do a skittal we do anything like that try not to but if you want it to mr good ball what gentlemen i got to give a mr good bar all day long really every day at a week
Starting point is 00:33:27 whoa i would just get a mr good ball get the fuck out of something that I'm going to really enjoy and I'm going to enjoy it to the phone I'm going to break every piece up. Mr. Goodbar. Yeah. What about a Hershey's with almonds? Why don't you just get that? Mr. Goodbar.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Mr. Goodbar. Do you even know what that is? Just from like the little ones from Halloween. Mr. Goodbar. No kidding. Yeah, I'm 51. I keep a class. I'm with you. I'm with you. You know, if I'm really just on one,
Starting point is 00:34:00 like if I'm just, oh, I'm just going to say, I don't care nothing about running the day. Eminem's no nuts. Regular Eminem. Straight of Eminem. I'll give you that. Mr. Goodbar, shout out to you. And back to the Capitol Grill.
Starting point is 00:34:15 What are you ordering at the Capitol Grill? Do you have a go-to? Yes. I got to be honest, I was perused. I didn't know you could pick up at the Capitol Grill. I didn't know they did takeout. Oh, man. So I was perusing the menu last night with my wife.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Why? Because we were thinking. Oh, we got the baby. We can't go out. No, not going there. I was going to go, let's treat ourselves. Let's do a nice takeout dinner. We've been eating like shit.
Starting point is 00:34:36 I thought you were just being a fat-ass and you're just looking at it. No, that's how I get off. We're going to steak as men. You're doing a filet, do the tomahawk, the ribby, the strip. Sea bass. No kidding. Their sea bass is amazing. Really?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Caesar salad, sea bass, and a bowl of their clam chowder. Let me tell you why their clam chowder is the best in the United States. I would have picked you for Abiskeye. Because I don't, I like lobster bits, but theirs is not really that good. Okay. It's okay. But it's, hmm. The clam chowder, and this, this bothers me every place in the United States outside of Capitol Grill.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I don't eat, I don't eat pork. So I don't understand why would you put bacon in a clam chowder. I have no idea. Sure. Okay. Why is happening. So Capital Grill is the only restaurant that I know that does not put bacon in there and clam chowder. And it is ultimately delicious without it.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And I'm like, I don't, because my grandmother was like this. She said you don't use meat to season vegetables and you don't use other meat to season seafood. Wow. So you say like you can't cook if that's what you need. You know, it's like putting ketchup on something. Sure. You don't season vegetables by adding meat. And you don't season seafood by adding another type of.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Yeah, why would you use bacon to season? Why would you even need it? Like, you don't need a brisket. You don't need something else for a brisket. You don't throw a chicken in there to get it. Put some drumsticks around. Put a little lamb on it. You know, it's a thing.
Starting point is 00:36:24 You know, I've never, I don't have to put, like, I cook okra and tomatoes a lot. it's no meat in it you know i don't need meat to season beans you know what do you do with the okra because i never really had it where i loved it okay so you have to saute it um first with a little vinegar to get the slime out if you don't like slime that's what i don't like the slime yeah and throws me off when i get it fried it's always in there and the craziest thing is you add get fresh okra. Fresh okra, like grown fresh okra outside of starboard
Starting point is 00:37:00 okra, it's totally different. Like the okra that's in my garden the seeds are sweeter than the okra that's in the store. No kidding. 100%. I want to see this garden so bad. I think about it. I swear I think about every, but once a month I think about it. He told us last time about the garden,
Starting point is 00:37:16 yeah. Yeah. And I clip some ochre another day and I was riding out of the street and I just stopped and gave my say, man, you're like over. You like, oh, are you Like for sure, I just gave them a pile. I'm like, this is what I can't take with me. Like an old farmer. Oh, so I have, I have, I can't wait to these figs are right.
Starting point is 00:37:36 You're doing figs? Yeah, I have two huge big trees. Just so I think about them last night. It's crazy. Yeah. And they all, they're just big and they're all green right now. I just can't wait. And I just look at them and like, man, do y'all understand I'm going to sit under this tree
Starting point is 00:37:52 and just pick them off? Because it's my tree. And eat them. Yeah, and eat them. You ever do anything with the figs where you do like a little bit of cheese in them and like they're roasted or anything like that? Yeah, that's good. Better.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Oh, yeah. Better. Yeah, a little feta. And like, I just got back from Greece. Really? Where were you? Santerini. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Yeah, Athens and Crete. Very nice. We did last year I did Athens and Santorini. I love it. Santa, did you take. that sunset yacht ride i swear to god we were um so it's like a half moon like that we were in an Airbnb right up here where all those boats pull up yeah so i i saw where you was living man let me there's a there's a there's a pool right there we're literally right there right down the edge
Starting point is 00:38:41 so we took this five hour because at first i didn't want to go and then i was like i'll go with my family this was the best part of my trip yeah it was absolutely beautiful and i swam every place that they stopped. And so, you know, the... Oh, you did that from island to island. For island to island. Oh, wow. Yeah, we didn't do that. You know, all the sulfur that's from the volcano,
Starting point is 00:39:03 they had to wash us off when we got... This is the only place they had to wash us off. And all this orange, soft was coming off of me. I was like, yo, I'm losing my color. Not too much. I knew we should have came down here. Forget how to cook that okra. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:39:22 They cook for you on the boat. oh man it was I had a amazing yeah food's nuts isn't it Kim let's talk about quince shout out to quince why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to quince has good stuff high quality fabrics
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Starting point is 00:42:22 sun is like in there. Yeah, it's crazy. And then my friends, I have nut friends calling me. We in Greece. Hey, hey, I got a question. Got a question. What's up? Is it really called a Greek salad in Greece?
Starting point is 00:42:36 I'm like, you're a nutcase. You're a nutcase. Is it something different in the salad? It's the same. It's actually a Greek salad. Nut. When you were on St. Doreen, did you go down to Hulumi Bay where, like, the, where there's
Starting point is 00:42:52 up where everything is yes but then on the one part you go down in the donkeys yes yes isn't that crazy how that stuff is like all built on the thing it looks like something like mesopotamia what did they what did they tell me it was like how many steps it is either too many for me it's like either you catch a ride either you ride the donkey or you take all the steps to go up to get up And it's like maybe seven, eight. It's a cliff. You're walking up a cliff. It's a crazy number.
Starting point is 00:43:27 But it was so cool how that was all. It looked like a set from like Disney, like how that was all built into the thing. I knew it was definitely pirates. For sure. Yeah, it gives a pirate vibe. We went in these caves. You sound like one of your boys. Pirates here?
Starting point is 00:43:42 I got two questions. What's up with the salad? And then they got pirates? And then they had the boats. They had the old, they had the old. biking pirate boats like they if you take the crew that show you that it's pirates
Starting point is 00:43:55 used to come there to roll around you're not I know it was it was I had a good time I was listening to the man talk I was like yeah pirates I did that same job
Starting point is 00:44:08 we went to Cabo San Lucas I was like oh you don't fucking say pirates yeah man we love a guy loves pirates yeah the idea of being a pirate is you think that oh they like somehow you're going to
Starting point is 00:44:19 find the treasure that they love. Oh, man. I know. You imagine being on the beach, you're, like, just, like, ran it a couple feet out in the water, and you feel your toe on something to pull it up, and it's just an old... Sand crab. I found a ring. You did? I found a ring.
Starting point is 00:44:32 I swam. We were swimming, and then me and my son, and I just, when I dove down, I saw something shine. I came back. Boom. I was like, yeah, a ring. Nice ring, too. I just gave it back to the people. I said, hey, somebody lost this.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Oh, that's good. So it should have been lost for, I don't know how long, but it was a very nice. Wow. I find that it was like Cleopatra's or something like that. Fuck! It was a nice ring. It was mine. That was the last vacation.
Starting point is 00:45:02 What do you have? Is there a vacation you have next that you're looking towards? For the six weeks, we went to. What, six weeks? Six weeks? No, we went to Greece for 14 days. Oh, in your six weeks off, you mean. Yeah, then we came back and we went to my family reunion in Dallas.
Starting point is 00:45:18 and then how was that that was the food there that was the food was excellent i paid for all of the food i slipped that in my name i thought it was going to be home cooking this is why this is why it was a definitely good trip and then we left there went home for like two days and then we went left and went to um turks and kakos for like 10 very like 10 days where did you stay turks and kakos oh south bank Coming back from Greece, go right to the family unit, there had to be a couple of cousins,
Starting point is 00:45:52 like, this motherfucker coming back from Greece. You're sitting there talking about pirates and shit, they're fucking going. Got up Ollie. That's the craziest thing. My uncles and my cousins and my aunts are very, very happy for me.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Gotcha. They're extremely. Because I remember my cousins would come back from Disney or whatever, like these motherfuckers going to Disney World. Yeah. That's the one thing that we don't have because my cousins,
Starting point is 00:46:16 anybody in my family know, my money is their money. If you need something, I'm straight. I just give you. I'm not even the richest person in my family. It's my Uncle Donald who did not come. My Uncle Donald, I'd never forget. My Uncle Donald used to pass out $20 bills when we were young.
Starting point is 00:46:37 And he would come to something. He'd just pass out $20 bills that my Uncle David would be in the line. He's like, yeah, he's saying to give me everything. Everybody get in line. He's there with a fake mustache, trying to get a second. Man. That's funny. But Turks and Caicos is, like, we go there a lot, though.
Starting point is 00:46:59 You know, that's our coach's spot, huh? Yeah, like, South Bank is a fairly new resort. We was there when they first opened up, and then we came back. So they know our kids and everything. That's nice. But when we go alone, it's, what's that rock house? where we go. I mean, you go with no kids?
Starting point is 00:47:21 Yeah, with no kids. You go with your, you go with your wife, go to Rock House. Well, my whole family, we stayed, what's like the big corporate one? Beaches.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Heed and his. Beaches. Oh, you went to the family. Beaches is like the family. Yeah, they were running out of food by lunchtime and shit. It was, dude,
Starting point is 00:47:34 it was like a FEMA camp. It was fucking bad. Yeah. They were running out of, we'd be like, I get a vodka and Tyler. We're out of vodka. You're like, it's fucking nude.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Yeah, and we looked at beaches. Like, we was going through, I'm like, I wonder what the beach is about. But we've never. Me starving. That's what you were looking up on the beach. It's me dying.
Starting point is 00:47:51 We never stay there. But it's, did you go to the fish fry? No. Also, y'all, y'all stayed at beaches. We stayed at beaches. We took a boat one day out to, like, you know, what's that place that Drake hangs out at that dock or whatever? No is art. What's it called?
Starting point is 00:48:06 No is art. No is Arc. I don't know. I went to see if Drake was there. You were waiting to say that. Man, you, it's, um, when you, when you were in Terps and Caco's. These are the things that you have to do. Yeah, Kevin.
Starting point is 00:48:19 You have to go to the conch shack on Wednesday, which is a great restaurant. We're moving different. I was drunk in the kitty pool if I get it by 2 p.m. You get rum punches. I understand. You go to Mr. Grupper for lunch, and then on Thursday, you go to the fish fry.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I'm surprised that y'all didn't go because this is not like I'm saying this this is a thing that everybody on the island talks about the fish because everybody's there it's like they have a booth with almost every restaurant on the island
Starting point is 00:49:02 that's in this camp and then they have a main stage they have performers on the main stage and then they have this crazy band maybe like I'm going to say 75 people in this band and it is it's crazy and it's a really really good time conch fritters they got conch fritters they got conch fritters down there
Starting point is 00:49:24 oh man they got conk everything crack conch conch shell conk salad conch fritters conk everything now this is a this is a turks and k goes deep cut because they don't have like any sort of TSA pre-check or anything down there do you pay for that service that comes and get you I pay for the fast pass.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Wait, they don't have what? That is some, they come and pick you up and, like, escalates. It is some fucking, you move presidential down there. You mean, there's no, they're sitting there. There's no, there's, they call it the fast pass or something. It's fast pass. There's, it's like Disney World. There's no kind of preferential boarding regardless of at the airport.
Starting point is 00:50:02 What a status you are, what class of ticket, nothing. You, you're down there, fucking. It's like, it's like, last chopper out of nom. That airport needs a little fucking. update you got pre-check on your ticket for no apparent reason you got nothing tsa pre-check means nothing it means dick ain't fucking hell i ain't never seen you ain't never heard it take your shoes off to open your everything everything you got to get that fast and you show up it's like it's literally like you know that they're evacuating the island it's it's thousands of people
Starting point is 00:50:34 there's no lines it's fucking crazy dude it's crazy turks yeah turk the airport is insane It's wild. It's like a Greyhound bus station. They lounge is the worst lounge ever. They have a priority lounge there. And it's like, I just looked at it. It's just chairs. It is.
Starting point is 00:50:56 It's like you're just waiting to get a passport or something. It's just chairs. It's like the DMV. It's crowd like, yo, we're not paying for that. You can go upstairs where they have a lounge up there, the Sky Lounge, and you just order your stuff, and they put it in a little plastic container. Yeah. Oh, but that downstance lounge, oh, you're wasting your time.
Starting point is 00:51:14 Unless you want to be secluded. If you want to know what prison is like, just go in there and just sit with your luggage. It's like they, you know, like, you've seen that show customs. Like, when somebody gets worse, it's like you're in there. Like, it's crazy town. I love that. But they call, so you, it's pretty inexpensive. It's not crazy money.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Like a hundred bucks a person or something like that, maybe more. Yeah, I don't know. For fast pass. For fast pass. They come, they pick you up at your hotel. They did, they did us. Yeah. And they drive to the airport.
Starting point is 00:51:49 They drop you off. They walk you through security. Like, whoop, boop, boom, right past the line. Put you right in there. It's great. You get on that plane outside? Yeah. Walk on that plane outside.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Nothing like getting on a plane outside. Yeah, it's hot as shit. I feel like you're on vacation. It's hot. I know. I know. They cut that engine on. I know.
Starting point is 00:52:08 I feel like I'm in Magnum or something like that. I swear to God, I'm getting on that way. I'm like, I should have, like, a duffel bag of Coke or something on me when I'm getting on one of those. In Greece is like that. Yeah, Greece is like that. We took the ferry from Athens to Santorini, that long-ass one. You took the ferry. I did.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Yep. The real long, the... Yep, we took the ferry from Crete to Santerini. Okay. We got the room and everything. I was too scared because there was no direct flights from New York to Santorini. And the flights from Athens that day or whatever, From Athens to Santorini, they were like,
Starting point is 00:52:43 you're going to die airlines. No, it's a pretty good airlines. They were the ones that were propeller planes. Agentina, Agent, it's something today. Agent, I'm not getting on it. They were a little. They had a regular plane. I saw the ones that you were talking about.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I was like, oh, no, the fantasy island plane. Yeah, I wouldn't get on that. But we're circling the island. Wait, no way. I wasn't doing it. I was like, let's take the eight hours. And it was cool, because every time we got close to an island, you know, they would drop people off, you went out,
Starting point is 00:53:15 you looked at it, whatever it was nice, you went back in the room, hung out, and then we finally got there. Yo, so on that ferry, right, this is the craziest thing. They're like cruise ships. How crazy is the size of those things? And they're nice. Yeah. The seats are cool.
Starting point is 00:53:29 Crazy. But if I tell you, when it's time for you to get off that damn fair, get your ass off. Like, you better be moving. And they're letting you know. No, yo, we leave it in six minutes. It's chaos. Don't go to the bathroom or your ass to be in another island.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Your luggage is like sitting right there next to like an old car. Yeah, it's got it roped off. And they got your, where are you going? You go on here, get your luggage, get your ass off. It's crazy. And they kept up six minutes to leaving. Like, damn, I just got up. You got to be moving.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Got to be moving. That's funny. I got a couple of cues here for you. Yeah. Do you ever answer a number that you don't know? All the time. Really? When you answer that number, do you use a slightly different voice?
Starting point is 00:54:24 No. Straight up. I answer unknown numbers. Like, I'm not letting nobody restrict me from using my damn phone. Like, it's a man thing to me. I'm like, yo, I don't care who calls it. It's your phone. What if it's like a courtesy calling or like somebody trying to get you?
Starting point is 00:54:42 They say scam or if somebody calling, they from someone. And we like to say, man, I don't want that shit and then I just hang up. Like, you can't call back because I just told you. I know your number now. But, man, listen. I don't want that. You call me from a number unknown and watch me answer that phone. Hello?
Starting point is 00:55:04 And like, and I'm answering very grivel. Like an upset customer service. Like I'm calling Comcasters. because it's my phone and I'm not letting nobody I like that logic I'm not let nobody restrict me that you're gonna I'm not yeah watch me watch me call and get to make him nervous no I'm like give me the hello again hello fuck is this that's what that's what it sounds like this coming next you know I don't know everybody's number and then so I'm like yo whoever this is what's up you know if you get the what's up that mean I was
Starting point is 00:55:39 And I was like, yo, what's up? And it doesn't, it don't even sound like whatever you want to sell me. He's like, no, call you back later. Yeah. Yeah, I answer the number. I answer. Okay. And test me on it in a month.
Starting point is 00:55:55 He's called me from a regular number. He's like, yep, he damn show did answer. I hung up and I knew who it was. I like it. That's great. All right. All right. Have you ever played pickleball?
Starting point is 00:56:06 No, my own, one of my daughters played pickleball. I bought all the stuff for about on play It seems irritating It just seems fucking irritate Tennis doesn't have the same sound As pickleball Yeah Like ping pong
Starting point is 00:56:23 I can take ping pong I'm right there with you But pickleball is like Yo what's fucking sound It feels childish to me It shows he loves it You pickleball champ Paddle is that different
Starting point is 00:56:35 Paddles rich European shit Is it? Padden I thought he was in pickleball for a minute. Yeah, until he found out, until he'd be upgraded, well, after he sold out the garden, started playing fucking paddle. Play it high line next? With those Europeans with the high shorts, I see
Starting point is 00:56:49 you out there. What in this sport? Because it's like a rant, it's like a high lie. High lie. And you catch the ball off the wall, you throw it. I don't understand. I just seen the beginning of Miami Vice. I don't know exactly what it is. I don't know what that is. I know. Playing that down there and they were rigged, the mob was rigging the
Starting point is 00:57:05 game. The highlight. That was like a legend. No, I think that's when they were on the getting called for they were down there rigging the games i don't know what base like baseball like yeah i don't know i think like even worse i think like they owned it they owned the teams and they were setting it all so it's two people that play against each other right something like that it's something like that's something weird shit
Starting point is 00:57:22 they wear like polo hats i don't get it i have that does face mask or something like i think it looks like it hurt if it hit you know small football helmet yeah um wheel of fortune or jeopardy jeopardy okay gentlemen are they currently Any avocados at your house? Yeah, probably some avocados, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Okay. Are there any cereal boxes on top of your refrigerator? Not at all. Yeah, I couldn't picture that. This pantry? In the pantry, yeah, that's like... Can you walk into your pantry? Yes.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Are you good? You put the cereal in the Tupperware and then you put it up. You do? Yeah. Whoa, that's like sitcom shit. That's crazy. Yeah, no cereal box on top of refrigerator. What are we looking at in there?
Starting point is 00:58:06 What's the, what's the variety? It's going to be fruit loops What's the Cheerios? Honey Nut Cheerios. Raisin brand. Raisin, Honey Nut Raisin brand. And some weird cereal that they eat Captain Crunch or something like that.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Okay. Man, that's a fucking... That's a top five right there. That's all right. And was crazy. Because a raisin brand every once in a while ain't too shabby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Serial is like... the rush food like the rush if they're eating cereal that means nobody got up they're behind you got yeah it's about we yeah we're behind a make some cereal yeah and and the cereal we throw cereal way a lot just because because because you know it's mostly beef bacon biscuits eggs grits like we're going to get up in the morning in the morning hash brown biscuits are a regular thing yeah biscuits homemade biscuits No, the Pillsbury? Yeah, the Pillsbury Jones.
Starting point is 00:59:11 No kidding, still. No kidding. What about the snacks in there just out of curiosity? Isn't you talking about the Pills? Oh, you know, it's crazy. Would I be, would walk in? You would not. Yeah, you would probably like the snacks.
Starting point is 00:59:24 It's some nice chip selection in there. But the thing that does not stay long is seaweed. The seaweed crisps? Oh, man. Yeah, we use them a lot at the house. It does. Using those as a receptacle for whatever you're eating, putting those in... No, this is a...
Starting point is 00:59:45 They chip them up, just eat them? They just eat, man, these girls, they go through them Jones. You can crush a pack of them. It's like nothing. Like, yeah, like, together. Like, I've seen them. Eat all of them together. Like, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Seweed is insane. Yeah. It goes very fast. Yeah, where were those things? I'm sure they were around. I just didn't know about them. I don't think they... I don't think they made around.
Starting point is 01:00:06 I mean, if you were eating seaweed 15 years ago, But at the house, if we make like salmon and some rice or something like that, those is the little things. Yeah, man, seaweed, the first time I really, really got in the seaweed, I was going to Korea, and I was on Korean Airlines. I've been to Korea 10 times. Jesus. What?
Starting point is 01:00:27 And most of the times the promoters don't realize that I've accepted the gig because of the airline. They have the best seaweed soup on Korean Airlines. Going to seaweed for, just going to Korea for soup. In the business. Like, they, it's, they see we soup game. Really? Their food on Korea Airlines is pretty.
Starting point is 01:00:47 A lot of Asian, Singapore is really good. I think is KLM, Asian, I don't know. Some of them are made, like, it's like they put the rest of them. They put American Airlines. Oh, for shit show. What about the burger on Delta? Burger on Delta is all right. Pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:03 You fly Delta? I fly Delta. I was like I was crazy. They're about to slap the shit out of you. Like, when we went to Greece, the international food was pretty good. On the flight. They have to, they upgrade the American airline, like, not America, but the United States Airlines. You know, beef it up for the international flight.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I fly South West a lot, and I didn't know, like, the longer flights they give you, I think they should just give you the Oreos on all of the damn flights. They just get, it's two Oreos in the pack. Why are you holding them out for a long flight? You're flying Houston and Dow's. You don't need Oreos. You're laying in 20 minutes. You're giving me the nasty-ass teddy grams that you went to. They give teddy grimes out?
Starting point is 01:01:46 You got to start flying southwest. No, they don't. They give you a teddy grims. They give you these little graham. They're awful, too. They have a terrible after. I'm always doing it. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Beef-flavored teddy grimes. They give these garlic sticks. Ooh. I don't even, that does not sound appetizing. pretzel-type garters, they're decent. But those damn grams, yo, they need it. Man, whoever made that damn decision. Man, look.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I'll have the seaweed soup. Man, this peanut allergy shit is. Fucking you up. Man. But I'm on there with cashews and all type of nuts. I don't get that who's sitting next to me. Your ass is swollen. I think about that a lot, too.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Yeah. I come on there with the tuna, with the tuna packs. No, you don't. Oh, yes, I do. Are you fucking kidding me? You're kidding me I bring the tuna packs on I'd call the air marshal on you
Starting point is 01:02:42 I'd say you were a fucking terrorist And I crush up Fritos And I put them in the In the tuna pack I like the move Is that jail stuff? Put on the plane
Starting point is 01:02:50 No that's We ain't no damn Tuna packs We had cans of tuna That's white people shit Did I learn Oh I mean I'm saying you're making
Starting point is 01:02:58 Adjustments now that you have Oh you bring You bring the pouches I bring the pouches Oh you put it in the pouches Oh you put it in the pouch And I crushed the Frito of and put them in the pouch
Starting point is 01:03:07 Because the tuna is not seasoned. I don't have the mayonnaise and all the stuff to put in it, but it's just in the pouch. So I just, whatever chips, whether it's Doritos or whatever, because I'm not going to keep going back and forth. But that's what everybody, all of my friends that have been in jail have said that's what they did. They would chop up all the chips and mush it all together and make Chi-Chi.
Starting point is 01:03:30 No? That's, that's, they was weird as hell. If you make it a spread, you don't, okay, a spread is different. You put, a spread consists of noodles, you know what I'm saying? And if you put the chips in, you put the chips in that, that's last. I'm saying, because the chips going to get soggy when you're doing like a crew. I think he's mad at my order of operations here. Yeah, it's like, nude.
Starting point is 01:04:02 And then it's different types of spreads. Like, it's, it's not one. spread this is the thing about people who um been incarcerated sometimes they make up shit that they didn't do call my boys pussies i respect it like you like the process you know you you didn't you didn't do it and then if you especially if you like i've made a spread when i got out and it was fucking horrible because you know why because In prison, the shit don't cook all the way, so it has a certain type of continuity to it
Starting point is 01:04:44 because it doesn't cook all. And your noodles is going to cook all the way. So it doesn't even taste the same. It doesn't make it. Yeah, it's not the same product. So a spread, say if you didn't eat tuna, you didn't eat tuna. So, because in there, we, if you had tuna,
Starting point is 01:05:00 you wasn't putting your tuna in a spread. That's for a macro. That's why the can of tuna. tuna is this big, the can of Jack Mac is this big. So you would use the macro for that macro and sardines for a seafood spread. How was that? Was that any good? It depends on who made it.
Starting point is 01:05:21 That's the thing, because everybody can't, everybody can't spread. What you did for, and then people who spread it, it was a, say, all three of us eating together. I got the Jack Mack, you got the soup. he has the chips and the bread so the bread what we're going to do is I'm going to make the something we're going to put it
Starting point is 01:05:45 on the bread and make sandwiches and split the sandwiches and happen because you're trying to feed multiple people y'all combining but what I'm doing in a cell by myself whatever concoction I'm in there doing is my goofy-ass shit not for the potlock
Starting point is 01:06:03 yeah so the thing about a spread right that's community thing the thing about making a suit if you're it depends on what you're doing this for you know it was a it was a base thing if I'm trying to get bigger I'm trying to get bigger I'm adding a bunch
Starting point is 01:06:20 of stuff to it to get full and get bigger if I'm like me I could just eat soup and a can of chili am I'm saying and just put the chili in my own thing and maybe put some crackers
Starting point is 01:06:35 on the top. You don't need to make the spread and do all that. I don't need to make the spray because I'm eating by myself. Or I can just make the chili one soup, I'm saying, and I'm done.
Starting point is 01:06:47 I'm not adding peanut butter and all of it. Getting all extra shit. I'm not lifting weight. But I'm like, I don't need to get bigger. I'm trying to get bigger. You know what I'm saying? And then Jack Mack,
Starting point is 01:07:01 like my man Brown, I did the story about Brown and Winn. Big Brown would just eat. Jack Mack straight out the can the bones and everything he just straight out of the can't and he's yeah big brown and then he would drink the juice
Starting point is 01:07:17 I never drink that damn macro juice I've always poured it out but if you man that's gonna bother me for weeks yeah that Jack but they sell Jack Mac in the in the store people and it's all sorts
Starting point is 01:07:33 of things that that it connected to prison that in it and i and i tell people it depends on your era as well you're like i would never speak about how the 70s did it or the 80s i wasn't there in the 70s i wasn't in the early 90s then whatever happened in 2000s like why i wouldn't why was that they didn't have we had cans somewhere 2005 2003 or something like that they got rid of cans So they had these pouches. And they got rid of the cans because we was using the cans for weapons.
Starting point is 01:08:12 You know what I'm saying? Smart. It's just like... Tuna fish cans will cut you. No, no, no. No? No. Let me tell you.
Starting point is 01:08:21 Man, I'm really learning this episode. You take a tuna fish can. You take your socks off. You double your socks up. And you slip that can inside and you tie a knot. I'm saying, two knots. One to keep the can down. and wanted to put in your hand.
Starting point is 01:08:38 Oh, a tuna fish can in a sock will have you in a wheelchair. Yeah. And have you in a wheelchair real, I'm talking about real easy. Like, real easy. And, like, first you was talking shit, and all of a sudden, you just, uh-uh. I would happen to me so bad.
Starting point is 01:08:57 I think I'm vibed with everybody. I step over, I start doing pretty well, step over the line. Makes you know you get jackback. Fucking lock in his sock. I'm out. The jack-mac can. can is even worse. I don't put you...
Starting point is 01:09:08 So now, say, we had these cans of beef, right? This was a weapon of choice for me. If you take the top of the beef can off and you take, once again, your socks, and you bend it, and you put your hand, keep your hand in your socks. So all this is just jagged. Jagged edge.
Starting point is 01:09:29 So when I slice you, you open. Jesus. So they got rid of all loads. They just, now everything came. in soft packs so you can put a thousand soft packs on the soccer and have two tons of fish and have have the new pillow fight I see that on ESPN pillow fight champion
Starting point is 01:09:46 like this is some dumb shit they just make it up sport the slippery step champion slippery step no you're running up the log have you seen no have you seen the new thing it's like a thing of steps and they and they got like oil on the steps
Starting point is 01:10:05 and you got to make it up and say people throwing balls at you. Yes, I don't know. It's all right. It is the slippery. Like wipeout. It was crazy. I'm the slippery champion. I was like, you're fucking stupid.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Shuffed in a locker. We got to wrap it up, gang. Man, what a former. Ali, thank you so much. It is always a pleasure. We leave it on prison violence. Okay. Rugged.
Starting point is 01:10:29 My two sons on his YouTube page. Do yourself a favor. Go over to check it out. One of the absolute best. I mean, one of my faves. What else to say? Yeah. One of the best, and we love you.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Man, thank you guys, man. When I saw this on the press list, I was like, yes. Yeah. Come to see. What's next on the tour? Where are you going to be? Tell us.
Starting point is 01:10:47 Atlantic City, the Tropicana. I think it's sold out. They asked me to do another show. I was like, nope, Rusty. You look on my website. Ilycadik.com. See all the tour dates, man. New specials, getting ready to drop.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Damn, what? Yeah, I recorded three in Detroit. Jesus. Take a break. Go back to St. Torx and Caicos get stuck at the airport. And leave my Pee and after 40 joke alone. Ali Sadieke, everybody.
Starting point is 01:11:22 We love it. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.

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