Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Andrew Santino Returns!

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Andrew Santino! You know Andrew Santino from Stand Up Comedy, Bad Friends, Whiskey Ginger, No Bad Lies, The Joe Rogan Experience, Kill Tony, This Past Weekend, The Tim Dillon Show, Your Mom's House, Take Your Shoes Off, Pardon My Take, Dr. Phil LIVE, Sundae Conversation, FX's Dave and so much more! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide. Promo Code: GARBAGE Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R. You Garbage. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're up to be classy. Yeah. Just a big whole piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Hollywood Hank Foley, coming at you, West Hollywood, here, Los Angeles, California.

Antote's back in Philly. And from the American Express statement, she's with a couple of cores-like party balls. Okay. Respect it. My co-host is coming out of you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage, but if an international businessman, my best pal in the whole wide world, give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan. Hey, what's up, everybody?

Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you're rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are climbing the frigging charts. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www. www. patreon.com slash your garbage. You go over there.

You get all that bonus content, gang. That's right, gang. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guests, back with us again today. It's been a minute. Last time we had him on a pod, we were also out here in Hollywood.

All right, his meteoric rise continues. He's one of our aces in the industry. One of the best. You know I'm on bad friends. You know I'm on whiskey ginger and just about everywhere else. Give it up for that Andrew Santino, everybody. Hey, good looking kid.

Look at you. I'm the ace. Top gun. I'm an ace. You know you are. I'm playing for the Las Vegas Aces, the basketball team. Is that true?

True? The WNBA team. Yeah. Get chums. A little Joanna Man. Power forward. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to do blackface next season.

They said I got to wait a year. You can't do it for the, your rookie season, you can't do. He can't do it. Next to see Thomas Howl do a soul man. In the bylaw. Remember that movie? That movie was so funny. Crazy.

Insane. Full black face. Yeah. Full black face. Black hands too, black arm. I mean, you can't just stop it to face. I think it's funny if you don't. You know what I mean?

If you don't, if you have the white hands, it's way funier to me. Didn't work that much after that, Mr. C. Thomas, Al. Yeah, what happened? I don't know. Shout out to him. He's probably a good guy. He 100% lives in this neighborhood, by the way. There's no doubt in my mind.

This is, this is who lives over here. Oh, really? Hollywood. Yeah, this is old Hollywood. West Hollywood is old Hollywood. This is where, like, all the TV stars that you know from your childhood, this is where they live. Really? 100%.

This or far out east, but this is West Hollywood, like these old bungalows and all that stuff on the block. This is kind of their secret little. So I could run into the guy that plays Howlin Mad Murdo? on the 8 team. He's next door. He's right on Sierra Bonita. He's right there, dude. I've seen him. Do you say his name? No, I said he's on Sierra Bonita. The street. I think I think he said, we don't know any streets. I know. That's why I said it. He's like, that's his name. Like a right on La Cucamonga Boulevard. Hey, careful. Over by Airwant Avenue. Careful. No, that's Ice Avenue now. We've renamed it.

Santa Monica's Ice Ave. Yeah. We're fixing the city. Taking the city back. It's us. Boys, back in. Thanks for. Yeah. In Hollywood. We're back in Holly weird, baby. Back over here. I know. And you are. You might be one of my most Hollywood friends I have.

I swear. Yeah, you are. You're tapped it. Not in a bad way. I'm saying it a good way. And you're a level-headed kid, you know why? Every time I text him. Every time he's right there.

I'll text you right back. Minutes. I'll text you. Maybe not even a bubble pop right up. This kid's fucking. There's some people I don't text back right away. Oh, yeah. And that is dependent upon how our last exchange was.

Hmm. So if the last exchange was like, like they didn't. hit me back for three or four days? We got to put them in a penalty box for a little. Coming right back. You never responded to my Venmo request, which I was insulted by. Well, the amount was insane. It's like 30 grand.

It just said help, 30 grand. I was like, dude, I don't call me. I put the pizza emoji. I know you did. And the eggplant. I was like, I don't know, dude. But I am more selective as I get older. If it's someone I love and I respect and love, yeah.

But if it's someone that's had kind of a, or it's also sometimes if it's just someone, in my life that only asks for favors. Like, hey, can you come, can you come help me with this thing? Or can I call you about the thing? And I'm like, never like a, hey, what's up or like a, you know what I mean? If it's only favors of buddies that I know, like in town, I don't know, then I get a little. That's tough too because we're like, we're very, you know, you got to become very aware of that when you're like, we were going to ask somebody to like if they wanted to do the show or something.

I feel like every time, I don't want to make it seem like I'm going to this person for stuff. Yeah, but not pods are fine. Pots are different. This is like, have fun, hang out. To a pot. It wasn't work. But I'm talking about favors like, favors like favors. I was going to ask.

People that need stuff. And you're like, all right. Well, I guess. I mean, you didn't talk to me for six months. But now you like, can you give me Bobby Lee's number? Honestly, he told me specifically not to get it to you. We love you, Bobby. I don't.

I don't. Can't stand the guy. Love him to death, actually. I got one of them. Yeah. What me? And he's got a little, he's got Japanese hair today, too, tied up in the bow. His name is Blubby Lee.

That's just rude. It's a comedy pod We need Bobby here to balance this out Yeah, no, no, no, we don't. He's sleeping. Let me ask you this. I bet you Bobby sleeps heavy and messy. 4 p.m. 3 p.m. 4 p.m. usually gets up.

We can't pod. We've never potted with the sun up. It's impossible. The sun has to be down. Are you at the point? Would there be anybody that called you and said, hey, can you help me move? Would you do that?

Are you there? No. Yeah, no, I would never. That's insane. No. Not at our age. Get a mover. Oh, I would do it for like my little cousin.

who lives here. Okay. My younger cousin or like a family. Great. Yes. Always, always, always. I would, oh, I would, I would help someone move if, um, financially I know they couldn't afford to hire movers.

Now, would you help or would you just hire, hire movers. Yeah. Okay. That's your way. But I mean, I would help them. That's me helping. You're not hooking the couch around the. Brother, those days are gone.

I mean, because back in, I don't know how it was for, you know, you guys in, in New York, but we young comics moved every year out here. I moved a thousand times. Every year you'd have to get a buddy to help you move to it. different apartment because you do a one-year lease and then you'd be like it's a dump and I can't afford it or you're like I want to move or get a little up I can get out of yeah or like or like get more roommates to pay less rent because no one's home because everyone's on the road right so like that staggering thing of your 20s I'll never again dude I never want to moving is fucking moving and going to the airport I'll never

pick you up from the airport you never pick you very very very great I'll send you a car okay yeah I'll my parents I'm always sending them cars like friends if if it's someone you know a good old friend from home Yeah, let's just send you a car. They're like, hey, can you scoop us? I'm like, for sure. There'll be a guy picking you up. With an iPad with their name on it. I cannot go down there.

We go down so much for a job. It's insane. It's like I don't want to fucking, I don't want to be there if I don't have to be there. It's like when somebody goes, you're going to go hang out with the comedy club? It's like, I don't have a spot. They're like, why not?

It's like, I don't want to go to the office if I don't have any work to do. Yeah. I don't really, it's not for me. A goddamn gentleman. I can't do. It's my job. so it's weird to go unless it's like hey someone's in town i haven't seen in a long time i'll go

get a beer right that's fine but i i never understood hanging out at the spot if you're not working what's a night off look like for you guy like you i'm a lot of nights off lately dude i'm doing a good job of trying to balance it okay home dog wife uh movie order in order in we don't know how to cook dude no really i don't we tried it sucks it's boring it's it's a it's shitty then you got to clean it up and then it's not that good you're like let's make a professional do it why are we doing this guy's a dirt thing actually we don't have any kids dude we it's like all the money that would go to a child it goes to door dash and postmates i okay here's i'm employing people go ahead hit him with yeah here's a good question you get door that you you know whatever you get yeah uh well do you eat

out of that container or do you plate it oh container always played it you played it why why dirty a dish we don't yeah just the name i'm just saying i've done it you feel fancy i don't like to plate it because i know that's a dish that i wanted to avoid having it clean that's why i ordered out No, no, no, we're eating right out. Last night we had Thai food. O'Connor came over with Sayy. Shout out to O'Connor. We ordered some tie.

This is her hair tie, by the way. Yeah, it looks like it actually. I got it from her at the store the other night. Did you really? I've been using it ever since. How many girls do you ask for hair ties? No, but that's a good move. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good.

Yeah. Hey, can you mind if I grab a hair tie? Obviously, she's dating our friend. But if she was single, yes. That's a good move. I got one more good move. A buddy was talking to me about his single days, about his favorite.

move in New York. This is pretty good. I was like, what was your favorite move before you got married? He goes, I would do this thing. I'd be at a nightclub or a bar or whatever. And I've noticed the girl that I, the pretty girl that I'm like looking for. And he goes, I would wait until she makes eye contact. And no matter what man was around her, like in any vicinity, I'd go, boyfriend? I'd mouth boyfriend. And he goes, their reaction is the dead giveaway whether it's okay to engage or no. Because if they go, yes, like, you know, it's my boyfriend. Like that. Okay, close it down. But if they go like this, they either go,

he goes, they say no two ways. They know like this, they go, no, like that, like, no, that's not,

I don't know that man. Or they go, no. Then he goes, you're in. Because immediately, me standing next door. This fucking piece of shit.

Holy shit. He's like, that was my power move. If they laughed at the idea that that would be my boyfriend, he goes, it was a door open of comedy for me to like get him to,

because they were like, no. And he'd come over and be like, I was hoping not. You know, and then you engage. I go, I go,

how often it would work? He goes, constantly. What does it mean if they ignore you? Huh? If they look at you and ignore you.

And call security. Is this a thing? Yeah, they call security. I feel like, that man keeps staring at me asking if everyone's my boy. You'd go up to her.

You're like, is the bartender your boyfriend? She's like, get this guy out of here, dude. You can't do it when you're three feet away. This one I saw, I saw an Ireland work.

Not even joking. It sounds crazy. I saw 100% of the time. This wasn't me. It was, he was an Irish kid. buddies were staying there for a couple of months. And I went over for like two weeks and stayed with them.

And we went out every night and the kid did this every night. And nobody ever got upset, which is wild because it's very me too. He would go, hey, I'm a, we talked to a, we'd be smoking out front or whatever. And he'd go, hey, where did you get those fake eyelashes? And she'd be like, these are my real eyelashes. He goes, he goes, I'm a, he's like, I'm a makeup artist. Like, I've done everybody. Like, those are for sure fake eyelashes.

And they go, no, they're not. These are my real natural. He's like, you don't have to lie to me. Everybody else will buy it. I'm not buying it. He's like, they're good. That's why I'm saying it. And they go, nothing.

He goes, look, look up in the light and close your eyes. And they would do that and then he would kiss him on the lips. And it worked 100% of the time. It was fucking crazy. Was he your real makeup artist? No. It's pretty good. Can I talk to you for a second?

I also had it. I also knew a kid that somebody would say before the internet was real big. You said he was the punter for the Philly Soul. The arena football league. Hey, who knows? Yeah. Could have been. See, that is a good move.

It is crossing a massive line. But yeah, that's a good move. I didn't say it was a good move. I just said it was. That's insane. Kissing a random woman. That was wild. Dude, this is like, it was a different time.

Yeah, I know. It was when you could still beat a bar and just like, you just start dancing. You could still beat up a minority, nobody complained about it. You know, the good old days. Yeah. No, you know what? It's, it's, um, it's the nagging. That's what it is.

It is. When you're being mean, that was the old days of like, nagging. What was the guy that wrote the book about being mean to girls? Mystery. No, no. No, no, no, no. But he's big in our, he's big in our world. The game.

It's called The Game. Oh, I don't know. Do you know what I'm talking about? He wrote a book, my roommate, my first roommate in L.A. read this book. It transformed his entire life. What a scumbag. Is it called The Game, am I right?

By Neil Strauss. Neil Strauss, exactly. He wrote this entire book. They made a TV show about it. It's basically about. Not the Michael Douglas vehicle, right? That's not. Yeah, right now.

Yes, no. Correct. No. Good movie, though. Great movie. It's about being mean to women in a strategic way. that gets them to fall into your trap. And he wrote a book about it,

and millions of men followed this as Bible, including my first roommate in Los Angeles. And honestly, dude, I shit on it heavily to his face, because I was like, this is the dumbest, this book is stupid, this is gross. This is also, like, disingenuous and phony.

He would get so many women from it. I did. It was unbelievable. It blew my mind. Yeah. And this guy, I mean, he couldn't, I mean, insane. He couldn't tie his shoes. The guy was such a goof.

You still talk to him? Absolutely not. No, yeah. No. No, we went very different ways. He painted the ceiling. The guy was a maniac. I came home one day.

He was painting the ceiling. I was like, what are you doing? He's like, I painted all the walls. You got to paint the ceiling. I was like, you've never been in a house before? It was insane. He used to leave candles on all the time. He had candles on.

Be in his bed reading a book by himself. You know, and you know what he would do to light the candles? Turn on the stove. That's wild. He turned on the stove and leave the light on. And we had an old stove, you know, the pilot, pilot light ones. So I was like, that's right next to a leaky little gas light. Who knows if one of them.

Yeah. Anyway, shout out. He knows who he is. Hey, you know. You know who he is. Dude, you got five chicks around him right now. He probably does. That's me, ladies, right there.

Anyway, this is my roommate. He was a good kid. He was a good kid. Huh. Never cook. No. Honestly, we try. My wife does try sometimes, but, okay, here's another way to look at it.

We both work full time, right? I have my job. She has hers. I don't want the expectation for her or me to come home and have to cook because we've been doing shit all day. So it's like a celebration. It's like a sweet treat. And we do get a sweet treat almost every single night.

Is that right? Have to. Do you like, do you like, do you do? Do you like, we'll split an appetizer. We'll each get a dish and we'll split a dessert. Or do you go like, get the fucking this? No. We get as much as we can.

And then you have leftovers for the next few days. You do the leftovers. I'm a huge leftover guy. I'm an Irish Catholic. My grandmother, my grandmother had stuff that expired seven years ago in her fridge and we'd still eat it. My grandmother refused to throw shit away. That was like insane. She raised 10 kids. Nothing was going to waste. So we were big leftover family and I know people that don't eat it. It doesn't bother me at all. My mom rolls the dice on Chobani very heavy. She has a lot

of faith. A lot of faith. It's cultured. Yeah. It's already. It's already gone bad. Yeah. A lot of faith. Yeah, but I see that doesn't, that stuff, the only thing that would bother me that would go potentially bad would be like when milk flips, you know and you're like, all right, that flip. But I will sometimes. Oh, neighborhood. You know what milk's right on the edge? Like before it transitions? It's a little better. What, milk?

When milk is, right there. When milk is pre-op, when it's a pre-op, you're like, uh-oh. It hasn't transitioned yet. I'll do it. It gives the cereal a little. Twang. Just a little bite. I don't mind it.

I know you're talking about. Yeah, so we don't ever cook. We try. She does. And she's actually pretty good when she does. But her time, it's like she's got so much shit on her plate. I don't, I don't want her to feel like she has to, like, cook for us. and I'm not going to cook because I'm fucking atrocious at cooking.

I'm so bad. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I'm just terrible at it. It's a waste of my time. You guys do any entertainment over at the house? Yeah, some of the other. We have small sections of friends come over. Like that, like O'Connie coming over last night.

Like, I'll have a couple of people. I'd have you guys over, just you two. The crew can't come. The crew, the rag tag crew we roll with cake. Look at the socks. I don't trust those socks. You're a rich kid, though. He grew up eating knows how to handle himself.

Yeah, but you know what this thing about rich kids? They always want to look poor. That's what they do. So he wants to look broke. Well, that's cool now. That's why he looks wet and dirty. That's New York cool is to look. Look poor.

I know. No, you can come over to my house. You're a good-looking kid. You can stick around. You 100% good. No, I like small, intimate groups. That's my favorite. I don't want a big party.

Like, once in a while, we'll throw a birthday party at the house or something. Yeah, but for the most part, it gives me anxiety. Too many, too much going on. Now, we've got a question for you. By the way, side note, I had one of the best, my wife threw me one of the best birthdays this last year. We were going to rent out Benny Hanna, a room, but Benny Hana for all of our friends.

It's fun. It's fun, right? Trashy, but fun. We called Benny Hana not interested. I'm not kidding. It was the funny. They were like, we're not doing, I think it was 25 people.

My wife had said. What? That's what they said. They made their millions. They were like, we have to break up two tables and we, and we don't have that. We don't have that available for this weekend.

This weekend being, it was weeks out. And they kept saying no. And then my wife, our friend, Hillary was like, she's like, hey, have you guys ever thought about getting like a habachi chef to the house? They do it at the house.

Big. It was cheaper than if we fucking rent it out, Benny Hana. So if we got two tables that I would have to pay for, it was less than half of the price to have the guy come to the house. I should show you guys videos. He did it on the Blackstone? Yeah, he did it on the Blackstone right in the backyard. And it was hysterical.

He had a Super Soaker filled with sake. And he was like, Sokhi and would hit people right in the face with it. Because he's never been. So Habachi is a thing that trashy people think is classy. It is. I went two or three times when I was a kid and I was a kid, like in my early 20s. It was like, this is the richest thing I've ever seen. Who's Blackstone?

Gary Blackstone. You've got to have one. It's his opener. Jamal Blackstone. She is. He works on comics unleashed. He works on comics unleashed. Jamal Blackstone.

Blackstone is a flat. You know what a Blackstone is. I know what a Blackstone is. Hey, no, I just is rude, but you know what a Blackstone is. I'm not saying who is Blackstone. I'm saying who's, who owns it? Who's Blackstone? They bring them.

If you need them, they bring it. I didn't know if he used yours. No, I have. You had to have a black star as a prerequisite. But not a black star. I wanted one. And then I thought, how often am I going to use it? I do that all the time.

I don't cook. I don't cook. It's not worth it. You know, Japanese got to come over to Super Soccerger and go away. He has a super soccer filled with sake and hit you in the face. And Bobby, he kept trying, he loved Bobby. He kept trying to get Bobby to. And I was like, he's an alcoholic.

And he's like, he cannot have alcohol. And he kept being like, like, later, I'm like, brother. It was insane. But Bobby loved the guy. He was dancing with him and shit. He fucked up. By the way, the funniest thing was he couldn't do any of the tricks. Like, he fucked up every trick.

That's great. Yeah. He's not even at Benny Hana. He's on the, he's a road. He's a road chef. He's a triple A. He got the Timo Habachi chef. He fucked up every trick.

He broke the eggs before they could flip him into the hat. Shrimp didn't work. Didn't do any of that. But it was in the volcano collapse. Most fun night I've ever had. I'm sorry, folks. I'm really Italian. I apologize.

Yeah. He was a Jewish kid from, from, from northern Chicago. No, he was, it was. fun. We had a great time. Kim, let's talk about Helix. Helix, Helix, Helix. We've been talking about Helix for a long time. They're a good brain.

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One of the best decisions I've ever made in my personal life. I was buying cheap, stupid discount mattresses going to, you know, mattress, warehouse, barn, whatever, going. I'll take this for 99, 99, some seven easy pay. Sprin's digging into your back. Oh, my God. Oh, you're going to need this and this. And then after two weeks, I'm like lumped in the middle. There's no, no support.

I got a bad back. I'm getting bad. sleep, my days are ruined. Helix. Yeah, baby. They got the free, you go on, you go to Helix.com, you take the quid. Take two, three minutes. Figures out exactly how you sleep.

That's it. Three minutes, huh? Sleep heavy, sleep light. You have bigger boys if you're little. Sleep hot, cold, firm, soft, whatever you need. They match up. They friggin take care. It's like her.

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That's RocketMoney.com slash garbage. One more time, rocketmoney. com slash garbage, do it. Do it. Let me ask you this. Yeah. You're having that party. Somehow we do get invited.

I don't know. There's 15, 20 of us, whatever there. I come to you and I say, listen, man, I really got to use the bathroom. You got a bathroom on the first floor, guest bathroom? We do. Okay.

Listen. That'd be wild if he said, though. Yeah. He's got Habachi money, but no first floor bathroom money. This isn't going to be that kind of thing. Is there any way I can use your bathroom upstairs in your bedroom? There is a... All the other ones are, the halls are out.

Yeah. It's either the first floor and he embarrasses himself in the living room. I got to be honest with you. Right around the corner from our house. Is a liquor store. And I know the guy. A liquor store. And he would let you use the bathroom.

He's a good guy. I go to them all the time. Tell Jimmy I sent you. Yeah. Is anybody allowed in your master bedroom? Like if you're showing the tour. No. Not the tour.

No, we don't tour the master. My wife doesn't like that because it's like if it's not clean the way she likes it to be. Yeah, of course. No. Mom and dad get it. Mom and dad get it. But that's a week of us cleaning the house before they come over to see the thing. So there's no shot of me getting to use the bathroom in your master bedroom.

Literally no. You wouldn't be able. I wouldn't allow you upstairs. Right? I respect it. No. I put the little ropes up for people so they don't go upstairs. I respect.

Yeah, you're not going up there. He can't get over. He can't get over the dog gate. No, he can't. He's all jammed up. You and the dogs sit at the bottom of the stairs looking up. Just sharing treats. I got his peanut butter bowl away about.

All right. Very classy answer. Yeah, no, no, no chance. Very good. No, but, but I would let you sit on the couch in the living room. I would let you do that. Thank you. Yeah.

That's, hey, very nice of you. Is there anybody in entertainment business that if they needed to go up there, you'd let them do it? There was a couple buddies I would let up there. Yeah, yeah, a couple of friends. Yeah, you're not in that. Okay. Now, no, no, no.

No, what, she doesn't want anybody upstairs when we have people over it. That's a, that's a her domain insecurity. She doesn't want people rummaging around the, like, the bedrooms and our stuff's up there. I think she gets, she doesn't like that. There's a level of intimacy to it. I would look through your, I would, dude.

I know that's my fear. He'd be going through your underwear drawer or her. No, no, no. They catch him sniffing my underwear. Hey, yeah. Kids are freak. I was like rich guy. I would definitely root through your bathroom.

You'd have to. Yeah. People do that. You go to the medicine cabinet. 100%. You do every time you go to someone's house. Yeah. You rummage through their shit.

Thank you. Yeah, you do. It's a natural reaction to look in someone's bathroom to see what medicine they're taking. What's under the sink? What toothpaste do they use? This is a natural reaction. I love it. You have to.

Well, that's why he's not letting you do it because he knows. Correct. I know what I do. I know what I would do. Right. Like are you bar soap or body wash? For sure. You're a bar soap or body wash.

Yeah. In my new place, I got to think of dove. No wash clothes. In the new place. It's not that great of a new place. It's actually. It's just a new place. It's new to him.

A lateral move. But your dove, dove the dove the white bottle. Body wash. Yeah. Cucumber's nice. Cucumber's actually pretty nice. I'm a bar soap, man. See,

cheap bar so. I like bar soaps. Uh, but I found a new, a new smell that I really like. What are you doing? There's a company called native. I like, I like,

I like, I like those guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. Get that at the CVS, Target. Whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. But I just like the, it's, for me, it's just if it smells pretty good. Is it the purple one with the purple writing? No, the green one. It's like the, oh, God, I don't even know. Cool mint or whatever the green one.

Cool. Winter fresh. I buy it by color. I buy everything by color. Yeah. It's careful. By flavor. Careful.

I buy everything by color. He does it. Internet takes that and runs with it. What, right now, like currently house stocked, we come over. Right? What kind of water? And I go, I want a glass of water.

And I want a beer. A glass of water. What? What do you have to offer? Water goes out of the sink. Sink water. No bottle. What?

Yeah, sink water. Which is insane. You have a filter on it? Of course. Where is it? Is it downstairs or is it one of those things that hanging off the... No, no, no, it's underneath the sink. It's one of these really nice filters that clinks into the sink.

Nice. Did you say glinks in? Clinks in. Yeah, clinks in like... What's it called? What's a call? Dehydrate it? No, not...

Deionized. Osmosis. Reverse osmosis. Reverse osmosis. Yeah. Reverse osmosis. I don't know. She got it.

I don't know. It's a hoity-to-to-to-dy water. But it's nicer than the fridge water, but the fridge has the filter in the bottom. But I tell people don't do the fridge water, do the sink water. And I was like, sink water. By the way, for people that need to know, L.A. has some of the best tap water. We just get shit on it because people like, L.A. water. The tap water here is actually very good.

It's not New York tap water, but it's better than people think it's going to be. So you could just drink tap, no filter. In fact, most of the city does. Okay. But people get this weird thing. But yes, I say that for that. and then a beer. You want a beer?

Whatever you got? What do you have? You know, I'm a bourbon guy. I'm a whiskey guy. I always have a couple of beers for people. So I have Mick Ultra, always have an Ultra. I just was driving.

Is this in the main fridge? No, we have a little tiny little booze fridge. Okay. Mick Ultra because my dad loves that shit. And every dad, every guy over 55 is like, can you got a Mick Ultra? Because you start to learn. You're like, ah.

So I have Guinness for me because it's the only beer I drink. It's the only beer I like. I don't really like beer. You have the nitro cans? No. I like the bottles. The nitro cans are okay. I just like the glass

because it keeps it colder. Yeah. So Guinness, Connie and I had one last night. Guinness, Mick Ultra. Connie drinks? He's getting his Ph.D. in it right now. The guy, I think he's going to get a scholarship. And then I'll have a mix of whatever other people left.

So it's usually like an allegation is there or there'll be. You keep good company. Always Miller lights there. Bud Light is always like a couple of domestic. Whatever floaters. And then. And then, what was also down there. And then my good, my buddy Jim always likes sours.

So there'll be a sour or two in the fridge. You don't know, you don't like that. Like a whiskey sour? No, brother. Sour beer. Yeah, he loves those. So he'll leave those and a couple of like, you know. Hedy beers.

Fish, whatever they drink at a fish concert. Yeah, sure. Yeah, whatever like that. Whatever wicked IPA. Honey brown. I don't mind those either, but I just, I don't love beer. And then how many bottles of brown would you? just say you have at the house. Oh, brother. That's bad. That one's, that's embarrassing.

Do you have any too many? I mean, nothing short of 50 bottles of, yeah. What's the most expensive? One of you don't mind me asking. Expenses, it's hard to know, because most of those good ones are at my studio. Gotcha. The nice bourbon I keep in the studio to share with guests, like Pappy and stuff. At home, I don't really, we don't really drink at home unless friends come over. Yeah. So, I don't know, there's not, there's a couple of good bottles there. I've got a couple of nice wellers there. And I always keep a couple of Blantons around because I like those as like a daily drinker, but nothing in sync. Just like good, solid whiskey.

And then I also have, you want a mixer? There's bullet bourbon and Jack there. And then there's... I'm a bullet. I'm a bullet guy. Yeah, that's always a good mixer. Bullets a mixer? 100% high in stuff.

What? I don't know. No, it's on the same price point. I'm just trying to figure out who Pappy is. Yeah. Pappy? Yeah. We gave a bottle as a gift one time, remember?

Of course. It's fantastic. He doesn't remember. Who did I give it to? We gave it to my cousin who helped us with the lease of the studio. Also, funny story, he drank it, then got on a moped, crashed the moped. It was, it's a whole thing. Really?

Yeah. We got hurt, bad? No, not bad, but property damage. Yeah. No, there's, and then there's also tequila, vodka, and other stuff for other people, but I don't. Okay. Bourbon is my, if I'm going to have some people over, I'd rather have a glass of bourbon. I'll share a beer with anybody, but it's not my preference.

You got to do that, uh, 1942 over there? Yeah, I do, actually, yeah. You do? Yeah, we always keep tequila for people. Oh, I love that stuff. Yeah, that's stuff. pretty good. Don Julio.

I got fucked up. Yeah, in Clazazool, we got one of those for people that like tequila. What those weird things that look like. Yeah. Bing, hit the bell at the thing. We always keep a couple for other people.

Vodka I have no respect for whatsoever. When people buy expensive vodka, it's the dumbest game in the world. It's not aged. Why is it pricier? Because they filtered it more? Yeah, they just run it through another filter. No, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

It's, you're only putting that with something that tastes better. That's all it is. You see you can run the, you can buy like the Costco brand and run it through a Britta and it will, it'll, Brooklyn is as good as... It'll heighten the taste. Yeah. It's a joke.

That's how I know vodka is a scam. It didn't have to age. There's nothing to it. I don't respect it. So I keep a jug of Titos for people that come over that want vodka. Yeah. Juga Titos. The fucking handle.

Yeah, you got it because people who like vodka. Oof. Vodka's an alcoholic drink. Hey, undoubtedly. Shout out to my stepdad. Rest in peace, big dogs. We love you, dog. I like a tini every once in a little.

I like the tini. Martini, but you only have that at a restaurant. People who drink martin. He's at home, it got a problem. That's danger. It's sad. You sit down in a nice restaurant. What's the order?

What's the drink order? I ask for a bourbon list if they have one. And then if they don't, then I'll just take like a Woodford with a splash of a diet. In fact, I switch now. What a dirt bag. Splash of diet. Yeah.

I switch. Now I do Coke Zero because it tastes better. Hey, give it up for Aunt Trish, everybody. And you boys don't call anymore. You should call. I'll do a woodford with a splash of Mr. Pib, please. Extra. I just want a little bit of the caffeine if I'm out at a restaurant because I know what's going to be a night and then we're going to go out.

But if they don't have a good bourbon, I don't. I'll just drink a mixed bourbon and Coke or whatever, you know, or a little whiskey ginger, which I'm getting away from because the shugs. Trying to get off, trying to avoid shug. Yeah, but I love sweets, dude. I got to stay in the gym because daddy loves sweets. Every time we have dinner, we'll end dinner. My wife and I will be like sitting around hanging, fucking with the dog, goofing off and then she'll go. Do you want to like a chocolate thing or something?

going out to do that we like to go to there's a gelato place near the house and I love brother I I love you walk down there take the dog take a walk we're walkers we're big walkers we moved to a place specifically so we could walk in the neighborhood and we can get to a lot of spots we got sick of the driving around shit I was like I don't want to fucking get in my car to go to the grocery store so we can walk to everything very cool that's I like that yeah we have she's the same way she didn't like it either she was like I hate having to get in the car like I have friends that live in the Hollywood Hills, you literally can't walk. If you need anything, you're getting in the whip and you have to go all the way down. This hill scare me. Some of those houses just sitting up in

nowhere. I would be spooked down. It's frightening. Well, through the canyon. Yeah. You can take the highway. But I think, I think what's what? It is called a canyon. It's the canyon. The mountains is a canyon. No, it's in between the mountain. Well, the road is called Laurel Canyon. Yeah. There's like Nicholas Cannon or whatever. Yeah. There's all. It's Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon. Wow now. Be careful on these streets. You might hit one of my 30 kids. So you and the wife take a nice walk with the dog?

Take a nice walk with a pup. The pup's feeling it. She's a moody bitch now, dude. There's nights now. She's eight. So now she's at the age where I'll go, come on, let's go. Cubs, let's go. And then she'll look at you and go and go back and lay down.

Yeah. I know when she's in the mood and when she's not. So we'll take the pup sometimes. But yeah, we'll go gelato or we'll pop over to like, just go over to the Ralph's the grocery store and get just a little chocolate sweet treat. We like the chocolate bars, the dark chocolate bars. Fun to share. What brand?

Old school. Give me the lint. Lint with a touch of sea salt is my. Give me the lint. Give me in the dick. Give me the lint. I love a lint. There's newer ones that are healthier and better and whatever.

Like the hue or whatever, the brown cardboard one. Just give me the lint, dude. Those things are like $40. They're great. Well, Lint's prices went up too, by the way. Lint's not as cheap as it used to be. Now, I think Lint needs to compete with the other ones. So they go, well, we should be more expensive because they are.

Because then people will think we're cheaper. We're higher end, yeah. Isn't that funny how it's like, it's the same thing. I thought it was, I thought it was that was imported from fucking France. Like I had, no, it's in San Francisco. It's from Nebraska. It's from Lincoln. Yeah, it is from, it's San Francisco, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought it. Well, that's where Girodali chocolate is, right? That's where the, or maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, Jiradilly. I think they're all one of the same. Everything's owned by one thing. He's talking about a sunglass people, right?

Doesn't a sunglass company on everything? Rayban owns chocolate now. Rayband owns this podcast, actually. They good, dude. Good, dude. What do you keep in the house as far as ice cream goes? You're doing anything like that? You're going.

We have to go. And this is the reason why because I told my wife when we were getting pints of ice cream in the fridge, they're in the fridge or in the fridge or they're ripped, they're gone. Do it a whole pint at once, right? Yeah. What do we talk? So it's impossible to not do that. So this way it makes us go get it, which is good for the walk.

You just buy the one. Yeah, we just buy the cup of the cone. That way you eat it and you're done. And there's no hesitation because you're like, fine, that's what I wanted. Instead of, I'll do the thing where we'll sit down and watch a movie. I'll have it out of the pint. put it away, go do something else, go to the office, come back down, I'll finish it. And then I'll finish it. And so if I regulate the size, there's no. How many scoops you're doing at the ice cream

spot? This is the best thing about New Age ice cream. They give you more than you ask for, which I love. Yeah, it's heavy-handed. If you said two scoops, they're giving you three or four. It's kind of brilliant. So if I get the, if I get the cone. Do it a waffle cone? They have, at this spot, I'll show you, they have a chocolate and or pistachio dipped, dipped cone. And, dude, I don't know if you like pistachio. The pistachio dipped cone with a chocolate-based ice cream. I'm with you. See you.

Yeah. It's the greatest thing in the world. So I get that. So it's not a waffle. It's a traditional cone that's dipped. I don't think they can dip the waffle. When you were a kid, were you allowed to get the waffle cone? We were never allowed to go at the waffle cone.

That was for expense. When I was a kid, it was Baskin Robbins all day. So it was just the old school sugar cone. Yeah. Oh, sugar cone. There you go. But I think that's the best one. Oh, for sure.

I think waffles's a little much. Yeah. It's trying to do too much. The smell of a waffle cone at the place, the best. But the old tool shug cone, I think, first of all, it holds its integrity better. Waffles really frail. True. Waffle breaks often.

What about it? You ever have a pretzel cone? I don't know. That might have been a filly thing. I don't know. No, we don't, I don't think that's what you guys saying. But, I mean, it sounds good. Great.

I mean, like a pretzel bun on a sandwich is like untouchable. Yeah, when it's done right. It's not always done right, though. You go to a good spot, dude. I'll take you to some good spots, good sandwich spots. Really? We'll go out. Oh, my God, dude. Have you heard of Giata?

Giata? Jada? Jada sandwiches. No. I'll take you. It's so good. It's right over the hill. Okay.

It's so good. There's some good sandwich joints now. Uncle Pauly's is good. There's really good sandwiches here. But they'll do it right. They'll do those. I know what you're saying. If you screw those things up.

Bad news. I'll tell you guys, dude, you foodie boys. I was at this spot. I was talking about wapts. I had pizza this morning for breakfast. I know, I saw it up there. How do you feel about that? Joe's.

Joe's? I want to mention me. Joe's, I like it. Yeah, okay. It's a solid go, but, uh, I think Joe's in New York, I'll tell you that. But shout out to you. Same guy. No, it's not.

That's Joe's the Bleecker Street. What are you talking about? It is? That's Joe's. Oh, it is? Yeah, the same guy. He brought it out here. Joe's and they brought out Prince Streets out here now.

But there's a lot of competitive pizza joints. Apollonias is real good. Have you ever had that? That's real good. There's some really good pizza. Oh, my God. We like to hang out at the Brentwood market a lot. You guys know about that?

PTAR Bianco. LA's got it all. This big joke about us, you know, when someone's like, we were looking up a TGI Friday's last night. I swear to God, we got done our show and we were like, what can we do?

There's one Chili's left in the valley. Yeah, he found it. Oh, fuck. It's left in the West Valley. But I went to this, I was in Mexico, and my buddy, my buddy was like,

oh, you got to go try this. They do a thing called a burger dia where it's a burger and a cassidia, brother, life changing. How's this break down? What's that look like? So the burger is mixed with like a,

you know how like, the taco seasoning that would go on ground beef for tacos, they put that in the burger patty while they're cooking it. So while they're rolling the burger, it's in taco seasoning, press it, then they put toppings of choice inside, but typically it's grilled onions, cheese,

and then sour cream and jalapenos pressed in a crispy, buttery cassidia and dude. Oh, it's in the cassidia. I have seen that. The burger dia, dude. I never seen it either, and I was shocked.

I was like, how have I never even thought of this? It's just another way to, to transport the bird delivery system phenomenal I have a big theory about I think it'd be more maybe East Coast Mexican restaurants

if you go to a Mexican restaurant I have a burger get it because it's probably banging At a burger joint out there Don't do that here No I know that Mexican joint No I'm saying don't do that Yeah no no no Mexican join out here get the traditional

Yeah of course Whatever they Whenever I go to a Mexican restaurant here If it's not a taco window If it's not a window If it's a sit down Ask you know when you look at their menu See their specialties

that are like from the kitchen, meaning like it's been, they've been stewing it and cooking it for a couple days or like it, they'll tenderize beef for a couple of, because, you know, the biggest whack order I ever see is the fajitas is like, the worst thing I've ever seen.

I'm a fajita guy. You're wrong. It's insane. It's just dry chicken and dry beef. What are you drinking in a Mexican place? Tequila in a splash of a mountain dew? Yeah, if they have it. You're taking shots,

a big chop from the big man. You know why you like fajitas because you like the show. You like the show. I do. He's a razzle dazzle, But it's dry meat. It's always dry chicken, dry beef. It's never cooked away.

You're not wrong. I could never get him when I was a kid. No one was arguing with that. Yo, pardon yourself. It's so expensive. He still is worried about that with you when you go out. Oh, dude. No, now, like I get my favorite is chili con Colorado.

It's like a chili beef, hot red sauce, spicy red sauce. It's tender, tender meat, veggies. Oh, dude. Like, I want something that they've been making in the kitchen. The white people dishes are great. But give me the one that they like. Yeah. That's the staff meal.

Yeah. Give them the one that they like. I'm with you. And fajitas to me are, you know, that's a, it's a white guy from the Midwest meal. I got you. It's a big sour cream guy. I truly use a vehicle from a big sour cream guy.

It's a vehicle from my sour cream. I know, I know. I know. My wife likes sour cream with, she'll order the side of it to dip just the chips in, which I've started to do, use sour cream as the base on the chip and then get in the salsa. Yeah.

You can also. Whoa. You can also take that and mix that up together. You can do, but I like the idea because you can get a, no. Uh, you can get a glob of sour cream on the, chip and then go into the salsa and and there won't be that much sour cream residue in the

salsa if people don't like it you're safe this way a little bit of residue yeah but it's a that's become my new favorite dip very nice oh I love it sour cream and salsa hot hot hot salt you like hot no no not too hot I know I can tell like a little something there but you like a baby kick you go for mild yes yeah I like a mild like a sweet I like a I like a peach corn salsa that's not a salsa pineapple salsa that's that's that's just corn with a friend. That's not salsa. Yeah. My tooth is a sweet tooth. Which one? The only two, one of the two he's got left.

One of the seven left? Yeah. These are all the sweeties. Kid to talking about Chime. Chime, chime. Chime is changing the way people banked. They offer the most rewarding fee-free banking. This is fee-free banking built for you. And not like traditional old banks that charge overdraft fees and monthly fees. We're talking about They have thousands of free ATMs. Fee free ATMs. Why pay your own money? It's built for you.

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Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Are you missing any teeth? No. Well, no, but this is Chip. This is bonded the front one. I cracked my tooth in New Orleans at a buddy's bachelor party.

Nice. Yeah. You fell? And I was high on mushrooms and I, there's two different versions of this. I cracked it on what I imagine. and I loosened it on that we were at a crawfish boil. And people like crawfish shells aren't hard.

Yeah, but there were other shit in there too. And I bit on a shell, cracked my fucking tooth or chipped it, whatever. And stoned, I put a beer bottle to my face. I got my front toothy. I kicked them for your bottles. And so it's half gone. And I was on mushrooms. And that was a tough day because everybody was like, it's not that bad.

But in your mind, it's like, it's so bad. everyone's going to look at me. Everyone's going to see my crack tooth. And I was freaking out. I kept touching it. And then we went to get po-boy sandwiches and the dude working there. He was like, man, what's up with your mouth? Because I kept going like this.

He was a Chinese guy, Chinese guy. Known for the po-bo sandwiches. He goes, what's up with your mouth? And I go, oh, I cut my tooth. And he was like, oh, yeah, how? And I was out of crawfish boy, and I was fucked up and da-da-da-da. And he was like, oh, man, that's New Orleans. And I was like, my right.

And I felt a lot better about it, as if he'd heard. the story before. Yeah, like, you're the ninth guy. Yeah, he's like, oh, that'll happen. You're like, all right. And I, so this is bonded. And then I've got chipped. I have a lot of chips and a lot of my teeth.

These are all chipped. This is chipped. I'm missing three. Yeah. Three? Yeah. I would take a re-over on that. Get that on Kalshi.

I would have taken the over. Get it on Kalsh. Live betting on your teeth. I'm missing three over here or one over here. From what? Lacrosse balls. That's what he tells people. That's what I tell people.

The three of them were bad root canals. that went, Brookings that went bad. I had one that was bad. And also, every time we go to a dentist, they ask me to get out my wisdom. Mine are in there too.

I got them all. I got them all and I refuse. I said, is it a health concern? They were like, no. I'm like, well, then what's the- They're trying to upsell you? I know.

You're sore every once in a while when it creeps in a little bit. Mine, one of it creeps in. They're not growing anymore. They're too, oh, you're old. It's over.

No, mine's still going in. Really? I swear to God. You're a growing boy. Fair. Yeah. Well, wait, you hit your growth spurt. It's coming.

I don't want to see that. Play college basketball. Are you still eligible? Yes. I have two years eligible. Let's get you back. This is the college sports I want to see. Him going back to play two years.

Where are those teams? That's more fun. That's a last chance. That was a good movie. Last chance you? Is that what? Yeah, it was a while ago. I know.

Not the replacements. No, he was the long. Scott Bayo? Longest yard was kind of like that, right? Yes. Oh, necessary roughness. Right. Was that Scott Bayo?

No. No. That's, um... God damn it. What's that kid's name? I see him. He was in the program. No.

Who was it? Do it, Luke. Scott Bacula. Bacula. I was close. Fuck. You were. Two different Scots.

Scott Bacula, his father is a newscaster in Philadelphia. That's the guy from Buffy the Vampires Slayer, right? That's Dracula. Scott Bacula. No, Scott Bacula from a Quantum Leap? His dad is a newscaster in Philly? No. The kid that plays...

The kid's from Buffy the Vampire Slare. We entered what we just call Foleyville. We're down there. The kid that was a bumping of the vampire say that got his own show. His dad is a newscaster in Philadelphia. Scott Bacula is from fucking... He's old. This is an old movie.

Is it? Yeah, dude, it's from like 92 probably. Okay, then it's probably Scott Bacler. From Quantum Leap. Dude, he's looking at the internet. It's Scott Bacula. He's cruising. Quantum Leap.

You ever see Quantum Leap? Yeah, I like Quantum Leap. Loved it. Yeah, you really did. Yeah. When he found out at the end, it was God doing it the whole time. What? Got to get on tuby.

Spoiler, dude. About the burger. Yeah. You're having a hamburger. Mm. Okay? Take a bite of it. You put it back on the plate.

Are you putting it upside down on the plate? Or are you putting it normal side down on the plate? Like a back-o. A scott baccula burger? How do you put the burger back? I heard about that in Mexico. Most of the time, I imagine I put it down regular the way it came. But I'm thinking about it now.

Have I done it the other way? Well, sometimes you have. If you have a rioche and it's a juicy burger, you don't want the bottom to get too thin and flimsy. Yeah, I do think maybe sometimes I do, but it depends on the accoutrement. Are the fries on my plate or are they separate in a basket? What do you prefer? Separate in a basket. Is that right?

I'll tell you why. Fries are for the table. And so I'd like to get two or three different kinds of fries, right? If I get my own fries with the burger, she gets sometimes drenched in the burger juice, which is nice, but also fries are for the table. And I know they'll have garlic parm fries. They'll have a regular. They'll have a, I like the different variations. I get all the kinds of fries for the whole table.

Garlic palm fries are the trashiest fries. Yeah, they're the trashiest fries, but I do like them. Yeah. Trashiest fries are truffle oil fries. Yeah, well, they over truff them. They put too much truff. The king of all of the potatoes is the tater tot. There's no doubt in my mind.

If they have tater tots, I'm totting over every kind of fry. And the only fry that can compete is a curly fry, but that has to be from Arby's. Because nobody does it like Arby's. Arby's is the best curly fry that's ever been produced to you. You're not wrong. This guy's good. They need to do Arby's fries at other restaurants. Like Arby's need to do, you know how they do like Taco Bell KFC?

They need to have Arby's fries at other locations. Yeah. Just sell just the fries. Lisen them. Licens them. Why not? Because the flavoring that they put on those things and their perfect long curls. They like the Jewish kids.

The Pais. The Pais. Yeah. Same thing. Made in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. That's right. That's right. Yeah, I have to.

Have to. But the burger. Also, this is a better question for you two boys. Are you cutting the burger in half or are you eating it as a whole? because I'm going to guess right now. Go ahead. Whole cutter. I don't cut.

I've gotten it. Sometimes they've come out. They come cut. I don't mind it. We're cut. You're cut? I'm cut. Okay.

No, I mean. Yeah, you're cut. I can tell. I'm looking at it right now. What? See that helmet poking out looking at me. Mine grew back. Hello, sir.

Thank you for your service. I enjoy when I think of it to cut. It's a little classier. I don't like to cut. I don't do it. Here's why I don't like to cut. You're leaking all the juice. It doesn't make sense.

Keep the juice contained. It's also why hot take, controversial statement, I don't like smash burgers. I don't like them. Dude, get out of. You gave me burnt meat for $19. We're off. We're off to smashies.

It was a scam. It just got too big. It's too big burgers. I was the guy that was like, I don't think I like this. Everyone's like, oh, they couldn't believe it because it became a trend. It's just a burnt burger. Yeah, yeah.

I want the meat to be medium rare. I want it red without, red throughout, juice, all that juice. So when you cut it, you're kind of screwing up the juice, dude. You're letting it leak. Smash burger smashes all the good out. I do not understand. The class he got over here.

I just know I'm picky with burgers because I'm a big burger dog. I love burgers. You and the misses out to dinner. Are we sharing everything? You know, as you get older, yeah, you start to, you start to just order for both of you. Because it's nice. You get to try more shit. I love it.

Back in the day, it was like eat my own meal. But now I'm like, no, we should, because I want. want to try that pasta but I also want the chicken parm. And so let's split and share. Sometimes we're feeling real fun if we like hike together that day or worked out together, we'll get a third dish. Yeah. Good for you.

You've earned it. Well, a dirty little girl. I'm happy for you. And you got a tip thing. You got to tip well, take care of the people and then they take care of you. And this is from the, this is from the kitchen. I love those. Well, yeah, we had a, we had a bit of a tipping tipping fiasco this week.

What happened? No. Oh. No. This is, what? This has been discussed. I'll get it. I'll get it.

We go out to a nice joint. All right. Over there. Out here for Hollywood meetings. Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills meeting over there. I mean with some people. You don't want to name the joint?

The restaurant or the agency? The joint. But let me, the restaurant. But can you give me the first letter? Ayesha. I mean, I don't know. It's called Irvna. Avra.

Avra. Oh, Avra. Oh, yeah. You know it? These guys. Holy shit. Ershna. Evra.

You're naming all the agents you met with. Avi, Irv, Ava. Finderman's. Cornby, who chew? So what happened? We go over there a nice place. I would like to know how you, let's say you and Bobby were out and this app. I would love to see.

Waiter recognizes us. It's not our waiter, another waiter recognizes. Comes over and says, hey, guys, save room for dessert. Very classy. That's cool. Walked away. Save room for dessert. We have our meal.

Check, you know, I say here, put it on this, which I tend to try to be Johnny Big Shot in those situations. He's a shared credit. Of course. 100%, but he wants the credit. Right. So he jumps at it. When he can look cool, he takes over.

And wait a minute, time out. This is with the agents? No. No, okay. When you said we go, of course. This is after the meeting. Right. Yes.

Which was a lunch meeting. But, no, I'm kidding. A bang. We needed to have our own lunch to DB. Yeah. Check comes over. You know, it's the toast thing, the, the, yeah, toast tab. Yeah.

Yeah. 18, 20, 25. Sure. I do custom. Yeah. Okay. Put a hundred on there. 100 on.

100. 25 was maybe 70 something. I do 100. Thinking that's good. He leaves. Then the dessert hits the table. Okay. We knew it was coming, but then there's a delivery.

Some type of buttercake toffee thing, unbelievable. Buttercake's so good. Unbelievable. Mastro's buttercake is the best buttercake in the world. I don't know if you ever had that. That's not real buttercake, though. There's buttercake in Philly that has a... Whatever you say, I'm going to eat it.

I'm still going to eat it. It's phenomenal. Has a goo on top? You'd love it. Next time you're in Phyllis, I'll take it. I'll take it out. They're a little bitch like you would love it. Yeah, that's so good.

Man, you're a great salesman. There's a goo on top. You're going to love it. You're going to like the goo you got. I guarantee it. I check with him. I gave him 100 and Kevin was like that's fucking awesome thinking the bill was I was I was thinking the bill was 200 right I had chicken and a diet cook I was a little I was a

peckish that day so I got a I got a kephalateri now I got a saganaki with kefalater cheese okay Greek joint great joint uh we got some dips done it was a lot of fucking all the buddy the dip the dips didn't get us there you're really fucking I don't think it was it wasn't the hummus or the tahini and then like I said I was hungry I'm not drinking, okay? Yeah, I'm down 75 pounds. I'm not your therapist. You can just, it's like, I don't care.

Stems for my childhood. Yeah. So I said, do you guys got any Kumamoto's? It's an oyster. Mm-hmm. You know Kumamoto? No. Expensive.

Apparently, we looked it up as the most expensive oyster. I got a dozen of them. Okay. And then I had the scallops. Okay. Turns out the bill was about $435. And they took stuff off? No.

Dessert was free. But wait a minute. How was the bill, the 20% so low on that bill? because you said you looked at 20 and it was only 70. 70, 80 something maybe. Okay, sure. I put 100 down. Sure.

He's like, that's not enough. Who said that? Kevin. Well, I'm thinking. No, I'm thinking the 100 on 200. I didn't realize it was 400 and something. Well, I didn't either because you threw me. You said that 20% would have been $70.

Wait, so maybe we got to the bottom of this. Maybe it was three something. And with the 70, that's right. With your $100 tip, it came to $3 something. No, it was definitely $400 bill. Anyway, I tip too low, which I usually don't do. But I didn't know. But if it was a $400 bill, that would have been $80 tip,

and you gave him still $20 more than you should have. Yeah, but we're big on the, you know, the recognize. We're dirtbags and we don't have any. We're uncouth. 30, 40, 50%. I would argue if it's just you two guys, $100 is a very solid tip. He was here, too. Rich kid.

Oh, it should have been $200 then. Yeah. You fucked up. So he had to go around and grease the guy that. that, you know, recognize to give a dessert and grease the kid again. Fine. That's great. But he wanted, he didn't have any cash.

I go, I'll clean it. I'll clean up this mess with cash. Sure. Right. I'm an operator. I got cash. I wanted him to give me the cash so I could do it. He wanted me to give him.

What do you mean? No. You already screwed up. Thank you. He's got to fix your problem. He's the fox. This guy's got to fix it. He's the new wolf.

He's the fox. The fox has to fix it. He's been doing a lot of that. Yeah. No, you know what? The tipping thing is, yeah. Like, we went out to a restaurant last week, and I asked for a bourbon list. You and the missus?

Yeah. Okay. And the guy said, the guy said, we don't, uh, we have a bourbon list, but I can tell you some of this. If you ask for something. So I asked for a kind. And I think I saw E.H. Taylor. I said, I love that.

That'd be great. And then the guy said, oh. See an actor? Yeah, he was. He lives around here. He's a Scott Bacul's, bro. And I think he said, oh, we don't have that, but whatever, whatever. And then I said, well, how about this?

And then I said something. I'll see. And then he comes back. And he's like, dude, I screwed up. We don't have that either. I said, okay, because the manager's going to come over. The manager comes over. He's like, hey, can I break you off a bottle of like a special collection?

It's like a $480 bottle. And I was like, oh, dude, you don't have to. And he was like, no, no, no, it's on me. It's like, you know, we appreciate, fan about it. Whatever. Whatever. So he pours me a little sniffer of it, which is nice. And that's all I wanted was one little, whatever.

Then they only charge us for like one dish, whatever. And so. This is where you get into weeds. So then, yeah, then I had to overtip. So then what I thought was, all right, so then I always have cash. So I said, well, what do I tip them? And her and I were going back and forth over what's appropriate. Because the total bill probably would have been, if I paid for that glass of that and everything,

yeah, $300 a dollar, something like that. So we were doing the math total and I said, 100 is nice, but 200 is a thank you also to the manager and the thing. Right? Because he'll tell the manager. It was like, oh, he gave me more money because of the whiskey that you gave. And then everybody's happy. And he broke open his personal bottle. So two was the way to go.

Very smart. Now, do I want to do that? No. I wanted to do 18%. Yeah. I want to give a standard nice tip. But that you have to go. Well, sometimes when they give it to you, you got it.

You don't have it. You, they kind of force your hand. Gentlemen. It's amazing. They go all in. Gentlemen. You are a gentleman. I try.

But then there's restaurants that are run in the mill and I just do the 20%. we move on 25 whatever i don't do 20 i'm almost always over but like you just give the 25 or 30 percent you move on your way right it's sometimes i'm like it's just a little whatever joint i got to go yeah yeah but if they recognize you you got to forget about it you're done you're you are cooked they will go you know those are you garbage guys they are really trash 30 bucks yeah had a situation like that a couple years ago i'm in hawaii with my with my wife um happy for all your happiness. All right, dude.

Also, what do you think of the boots? Hate him. Hate him. And the way they do it. Well, also, this, doing this with your feet like a little boy, I didn't like either. You're touching you. He was going like this. His little feet together.

Dude, he's got him. Side of my foot hurts because he's. You're not a cowboy boot guy. I'll say that. These aren't cowboy boots. They're not a cowboy boots. Yeah. Yeah, they're either cowboy boots or work boots.

What does it? What does not look good? What are they called? What would those be called? I got him at DSW. Oh, DSW boots. Oh, DSW boots. They're the house brain

Let me see how high they go. Lift them up. Oh, right. Nike socks. Yeah. Well, the Nike socks makes it nice. What a dick. I saw him staring at them.

Dude, you sat down and he went. I just, I don't. I can't. How about this? You look good. I can't wear them. What do you mean? I do.

I would never wear those. I do. They have grown on me. And the more worn they get, I think they look better. Well, if you wear them, they look good. But a new boot is always a funny thing.

These are like two weeks. old. Yeah, he's really put them through the ring. Two weeks? We walked here. What are you running through fields? What's going on? Those are so knicked up.

I'm working the ranch. They do look better as they've aged. That's like six months of work. I like, I'm a sneaker guy. I don't really, I can't do boots. Dress shoes if it's the occasion, but outside of that, I'm doing sneakers always. I don't think it's real. How many dress shoes do you have?

I have one pair of wedding dress shoes. Nice. Yeah. What's a wedding dress shoe? A really high end dress shoe, just four weddings and special occasions. Tom a can. What do you got? Farragamo.

Ferragamo. Yeah, you might not even know who that is. I like his old stuff. He's an Italian composer. One pair of nice Farragamos. Savator Farragamo. Sabator Faragamo. Just for a nice wedding thing.

But outside of that, too, dress shoes, I mean, I probably have a couple of other dumpy ones laying around. But when do I have to, when do I wear dress shoes? How many suits you got? A Hollywood guy. A Hollywood guy. Ford. That's not best good.

You got a tie tie? Gotto. Tie a tie. Yeah. brother okay i could do three i can do a half windsor i could do i can do a full windsor i can do a full windsor i can do a i do a full i'd do a pratt myself no see i like i think a half half is for half is for um certain occasions full is for for something a little bit more what would they be full is like if it's like uh wedding graduation that a half is like it's a business thing i got to where they want me to

wear a it's a jacket and tie thing i don't know it's over yeah yeah yeah you're not you're do the top button on the suit and let the tie hang down a little bit? No. No. No, you button that button. Keep a button up. Yeah, be a man, button the button. That's insane.

The top button, that's for hockey coaches. They're allowed to do that. Oh, my God. That's so true. That's fucking great, dude. It's the only guy that's allowed to do that. Yeah. They do it too.

I mean, I'm sorry about the Flyers last night. Yeah, tough one. Well, Connie came over. We were watching. I was bum. I watched the first game with him. Did not. I was bum, dude.

I was like, Jesus. I don't pretend to be a hockey guy. I'm not a hockey guy. I treat that as sacred to the city of Philadelphia where I would never hop on that bandwagon now that they're in the playoffs because why not you're from that you're allowed to be a Philly fan I know but it's such a specific core group of fans in the city Philadelphia Flyers fan is a particular type of Philly but this is every city sports team I know but I disagree if you're from the city that's your fucking team I feel like that's that's real it is but he's just like out of respect. Out of respect for the flyers. And of respect to the people that are diehard fans that live and die by it. This is their time. Okay.

I'm a die hard Cubs fan. I love the Cubs. I watch 70% of their games probably. They're always on my TV. My cousin and I share season tickets. We have the app because of it. I always put a game on in the background even if I'm doing a lot of shit. If someone becomes a Cubs fan, if we make it to the playoffs, I don't care because it's a Chicago love thing.

So it doesn't bother me. I'm going to be like, And I'm never going to be like, who's pitching tonight? And they don't know. I don't care. I'm going to say me with the Phillies. But Philly has that.

But Phillies of baseball and football. The Flyers is such a subset in Philly. Yeah, you mean it's a different kind of guy. It's like, it's like an independent band kind of. Yeah. And you didn't listen to the album. Yeah, you can't. You don't know their first album.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I get that. It's a little bit more. They've been living and dying by, I mean, flyers. Well, we've had so much pain in Chicago.

I don't think we give a fuck who jumps on because we just want the glory again. So we've just lived through so much shit. You know, the bulls are owned by a nightmare. And that's why the White Sox suck too. And so they just can't get out of their ass. And we had our glory days. And then since then we're fighting upstream constantly.

So it's like if we do get to a good place, everyone gets happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody gets happy. Philly's the same. Let me ask you this. As what I think is becoming a classy guy, I think last time you were trash, even though it was a few years ago.

Yeah, could I be class now? I don't know. You're creeping there. I did park. He did block the driveway. But I respect that. Yeah, because we're not moving, we're not coming out. And that's your driveway.

Yes. And I can't get a ticket on your driveway. That's very good. Also, I don't own this place. Yeah. You see it's our driveway. You're a Cubs fan. Yeah.

Would you, how do you feel about wearing another baseball team's hat? I don't know. I feel like we talked about this hat. But I have a, I have a interesting approach about it. Okay. When I first started touring. I loved going to baseball games by myself or with an, well, I didn't, couldn't bring an opener. I got it.

So if a local guy, I'd be like, hey, man, you a baseball fan? And nine times out of ten comics are like, no. And so you're like, well, I'll go by myself. So I would go by myself to games and I adored going to games by myself. I learned to like love it. And I would get a hat in every city. So I used to collect. That's fun.

And I've been to, I don't know. I think I'm only missing like, I don't even know. Literally a handful. Like, I've never been a new Yankee, but I don't know if that counts because I went to the old one. So I'm like, does that count if it's a new? I don't know. I don't know. But I don't, I do it.

I'll just wear teams hats because I went to the stadium and I enjoyed it. You wear a National League hat? I'm a National League guy. I know. Oh, you're saying, will I wear an AL team? No. As a National League, you're a concern. Oh, wear another one?

Well, I live in Los Angeles. So I wear L.A. hats sometimes because I live here. I live here, man, for 20 years. What am I going to? I mean, I go to Dodger games a lot. So it's like, what am I supposed to do? Not wear the. It's weird.

I'm a transplant. So, but do I root for the Dodgers in that regard? No, I like them. I'll go to games. It's fun to go to baseball games, but I can't go to my home team. But I'll wear, like, yeah, I'll wear other national league teams. Okay. Yeah.

It's actually dominant national league hats because I'm a national league fan. So I know those teams more. But like, will I pop on and, well, it's interesting. Like, I'll never wear an angel's hat. I want to get an angel's hat. Yeah, I would never wear that. I also don't respect the team. I don't like anything about them.

I think it's, I have to kind of like your team and I'll wear your hat. I have a Philly's hat. I wear that sometimes. I get ragged on for that. I bought my first Yankees hat not too long ago, which I was shocked that I did. But I was like it's also, I don't know, I like it. Also, I have to like your, I have to like your, your, city. I like, like the city or also like the symbol of this.

The design. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baltimore. Orioles is such a good hat. Yeah. Undeniably good hats. Some teams have great hats. Miami, stupid hat, shitty hat, shitty hat. Wack, that M sucks.

Yeah. sucks. Some teams, Phillies, great fucking hat. Yankees, undeniably one of the best hats. Yeah. It's just whether you like them or not. Mets, stinks, dumb hat. Really?

I think about Seinfeld every time I think about a Mets hat. And I'm like, no, thanks. I don't like that. It's like Billy Crystal and Seinfeld. It's like the two guys that I'm like, they're good guys, but like, I don't know, that's who wears it. Like guys who wear suits with sneakers.

I'm like, that's not it. It's not the epitome of cool. No, exactly. It's just not it for me. But like. Billy Crystal in the 80s playing a cop, playing a detective with a shitty Mets hat on? I love that.

I'm out. I'd rather have Fletch wearing a Fletch right out here wearing the L.A. shit. Sure. I love that You know what I mean wearing that Lakers jersey? I was like that's cool. Magdon wearing the Lakers. Yeah, Detroit I can wear because I love that city. I fucking love Detroit.

I can't I don't own a brewer's hat only and I love Milwaukee and I love that city and I love going up. Great hat. Great hat. Brew but it's hard because there are little cousins. We can't do that. The only hat I will never buy, never own, never wear, refuse, garbage.

trash St. Louis Cardinals. You stink. Cus, what do you mean? There are arch nemesis. And they have been forever. That's the dirtbagging. 100%. I would never support these people.

One of the best jerseys, though. Also, it made me learn to hate Joe Buck because he loves the Cardinals. And every time I see him, I'm like, your dad was better. Your dad was better. I would love to, dude. I'd love to say that. He's grown to me in the years. He hates the Cubs.

I fucking can't stand him. My philosophy is I can wear any hat from the American League because There's no emotional attachment. Sure. But American League, I would say National League leads the MLB and cooler hats, better cities, more fun. I like a Boston. I like a Red Sox hat. You sure, I'll give it to them.

Yeah, Red Sox and Yankees. Yankees and Yankees'is Classes. I feel like Yankees and Red Sox aren't even A.L teams. They're just good baseball teams. Yeah. I don't want to give them the association of some of the other AL squads. But we have some trash. We have Pittsburgh.

Love a Pittsburgh hat, though. I'm fucking around, dude. I do it every time I Wow up to comments When I make fun of Pittsburgh They get so mad at me Like in jest I'll just be like

I'm not going there Dude come to come to Philly And people get mad It's also like I love the pirates though I don't know why I love them Hate them They're in our division

I can't stand Also like Cincinnati Reds Come on You know like a Reds hat? What? What? What? These are division dogs

I don't like these guys You don't like anybody In your division That's not true As a young man I didn't But now as I'm older Like I mean I've been living in Queens

I've been living in Queens For 15 years I don't like the Mets, but I have love for them. And I like going out there to the stadium. The Mets game's all right. Well, it's easier for you to go to. Yeah, we get to $7.

I don't hate them. Didn't they have the lowest tickets? Didn't they have the lowest tickets in a while? The Mets were trying to give them away. Yeah. It's sad tale. God bless him. His face is lighten up.

Well, the Mets, the Mets to me for New York are the White Sox for Chicago. It's like I love to see them lose. Yeah. And I have a lot of friends that are White Sox fans. So if you're not into baseball, you could have tuned out about 35 minutes ago. And we're back. Sorry.

No, all good. That's my fault. I have one. It probably has to do. It probably will tie back to baseball or sports it somehow. What? Growing up, who is the most famous person you've met? Like it could, and it also could have just like a radio DJ.

First guy. Oh, that's. Or just anybody where you were like, holy shit. That was a big deal. Well, I met Mancow from Q101, who was a big radio DJ back. You remember Manco? I remember the name. Yeah, he was very famous.

I met him at a, from Q101. Man cow was at a He was all over the country He was syndicated But he was at a thing in Chicago It was like a Halloween horror weekend party And they were DJing it Or that you know Q&O and hosted it

So we got to meet him there That was kind of like maybe my first when I was a high schooler I met no it's not true This is not true this is all I. My first famous person that I met Was with my mom as a kid When I was living in the city And we were going to like a burger joint

And my mom didn't even recognize her And I apologize I forget her name But it's the mother from the wonder years The mom from the Wonder Years. Whoa! She was eating. Google her. I can't remember her name because I'm dumb.

And she signed on a napkin at the restaurant for me and I had it. So it's in my baby book. My mom still has it. No shit. But I said, Mom, that's the mom from Wonder Years. And my mom was like, I don't think that is, babe. And I was like, I promise, it is. It is.

And I was kind of freaking out. My mom was like, I don't think that's her. And she was like, do you want to go say hi, though? And she goes, I don't think it is. And I went up. I said, are you the mom for the Wonder Years? And she was like, I am. And my mom was like, oh, shit.

What's her name? Shout out, Ali Mills. Huh? Ali Mills. Ali Mills. A beautiful blonde woman, cool. And she signed a little napkin for me. That was the first person ever meant.

I had had been, it was just me and my mom at the time. My stepdad wasn't there. So maybe seven or something like that. Wow, that's a great one. First famous guy I ever waited on when I moved to New York the first time. Yeah. Probably, this is probably 1999. The dad from the one of you.

Oh, that dude. What a dad. If you couldn't have passed it a father. A cartoon character of that. He was a dad. He was like Archie Bong. without the racism. You know what I mean?

Like it was it looked like a dad that everyone had. But I loved that show. I adored Wonder Years. Man. And then I ended up working with Fred Savage. He directed an episode of a thing I did. Really? It's kind of wild.

Yeah. That's weird. Yeah, he tried to fist fight me. Is that true? No, I just, no. I shouldn't make a click bait thing. I somehow had to set of balls to walk up to the depth of the one years and go, Dad, what do you do at Norcom all day?

And he's like, yeah, that's right. That's right. I waited on him 10 years later in Philly. Yeah. like, do you remember me? And he's like, nah. Of course not, dude. That's insane. Do you remember me?

I was a guy with the boots and the Nike socks. Oh, yeah, we made fun of you for weeks. No, yeah, that was my first famous. That's great. First famous. That's a fantastic one. Yeah, she was cool. I'm trying to think if there was another one when I was a kid that was really kind of.

Mine was Mike Schmidt. Seriously? He had a hoagie. He had a hoagie place in my hometown. Oh, and he'd be in there. All the time? Not all. Like, what's going on?

Mike. You got a game today? Mike. He's like, yeah, it's not until 4.30. do you care. You're relaxed. You're fine. Yeah. You got, they got a double header. He's like, look, in between the games, I got to go to the shop. Got to go to the shop and open it up. Every stock to walk in. Did you have anybody like, like Schmidt that had like a hoagie shop in Chicago?

Car dealer or something like that. Well, they all had car dealer. I mean, those guys all had stuff like that. They all had, I'm trying to think of what the most famous version of it was. Like they all, like, who who had the most famous like, well, Michael Jordan's restaurant was like a big to do. I don't know if you even remember that. Harry Carey's got a place, right? It's still there, I think. I don't even know if it's got to be still open ago. But Jordan's shut down. Mike Piazza has a bunch of Honda dealerships by us.

And my family refuses to buy a car from a Met. I'm just fucking no. No one in my business. What are you nuts? Well, that's like Elway owns half of Denver. You know, Elway owned the Elway D car dealerships are like, that's the whole city of Denver is Elway. He owns all that shit. Oh, for him.

My grandmother's, this is a weird car dealership. My grandmother's brother. was a very popular owned a car dealership. My grandmother's brother, Joe Maddenford, people in Chicagoland might know it. And then they sold it years later to like auto nation or one of those things. But I remember like they refused to not drive a Ford

because her brother owned a car dealership. Yeah, you got it. And it was a huge deal. If you didn't have a Ford, it was like, put you out of your mind. Trader. You have to drive a Ford. We represent Ford.

But those days of like loyalty to a brand, gone. Gone. Gone. No one will ever have a car. cheap as quick as they're getting go. Yeah, we don't have that thing anymore. Like, I don't, my dad is big on it. He's still old school.

My dad, dude, this is how you know my dad a nice relationship over like what I like versus what he likes. My dad drinks Pepsi. I like Coke. Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's everything in our world. Yeah. I love McDonald's when I was a kid.

He liked Burger King. It was almost like he did it deliberately. So we would fight about it. Like, everything I liked, he wanted the other, he liked the other. If I liked a home jersey for the Cubs, he'd like the awake. colors. Yeah. It's always.

Got it out for you. Yeah. Well, he, we always were just such different, we always had like different tastes on everything. Music, everything. You know what I mean?

You can't jump in both worlds with the Coke and the Pepsi? Coke was my entire childhood. Mm-hmm. McDonald's sold Coke. Yeah. So that's all I knew. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, you're not what. Of course. I'll drink. I'll drink anything. But Coke was my child. It was just my childhood. It like, by the way,

when they had frozen Coke at 7-11, when they introduced frozen Coke, I was like, Slurpy. Yeah, Slurpy, fine, but it used to be called Frozen Coke.

No, I don't know about that. No, pre-slurpy was Frozen Coke. Look it up. Look it up. I'm 10 years older than you. Brother.

Trust me. I was in on Frozen Coke before you know what was... You would go to little... Places had frozen Coke before Slurpees became... You got frozen Coke? Frozen Coke is a popular

semi-frozen carbonated slushy version of Coca-Cola commonly found at McDonald's 7-11 Speedway. See? Frozen Coke was a thing. Slurpy was a thing. Slurpy was a branded name for Frozen Coke. Slurpy co-opted Frozen Coke.

Yeah, they're scam artists. What's just Coke and Cherry? That was the... Say it again? The original... I didn't understand him either. Yeah, sometimes he says stuff and I'm like, I am with Bobby. In what the original two flavors were Coke and cherry Coke.

And cherry Coke. Yes. Not cherry Coke. Coke and... Cherry. Slurpy. Right. How about vanilla, though, when they introduced that?

I don't know if I've ever had vanilla Coke. Vanilla Coke. Oh, vanilla Coke. What are you about to say? Oh, you liked it, didn't you? You did? You got to tell you why. I thought that was blasphemy.

You're crazy. It's like drinking a Yankee candle. It stinks. It stinks. Doesn't this belong in my aunt's bathroom? Let me tell you something. One labor day, I couldn't afford to go anywhere. Just one labor day?

Yeah. How many labor days, dude? I was dating this. I was dating this beautiful woman who eventually left me very quickly because she realized I was a loser. Jesus, dude. This is years ago. Yeah. Cool now.

Bro, you broads out there? Yeah. We went over to this free thing they were doing on the West Side by the Intrepid Museum. You know the aircraft carrier? I don't, but okay. You don't know that? You know what's an aircraft carrier in New York City? You got an SR 71 Blackbird, F-14s, F-4.

Keep saying numbers. I'm not going to pay attention. I have no idea what you're saying. I got an F-A-T-50-year-old right here. It's a bunch of ships over there. Got it. All right, a submarine. He gets it.

All right. Water. Hey, autistic candy, let's go. Water. They were just dropping vanilla coke. And they were like sponsoring it. So all throughout the grounds were these huge bins. There's a bug on you.

I got it. I don't know why you were hitting me. I got it. I was like, don't say to another cut thing. You don't have bugs on you often, do you? I have a couple. His nickname's the bug man. Because one time he texted it.

Bugman. That's my lawyer, Bugman. Morty Bugman. No, no. Come on. Stop it. Cut it out, will you? Wait, what happened with Vanilla Copical sponsor?

They were like our ninth hour of five. What time is it? I don't know. 445? Let's go ahead. All right, hold on. It's important. But this shows, like this, honestly, this is why I like doing shows with you guys.

Thank you. It's fun. All right. We could do this honestly for 30 hours. We should do where we do a full 24 hours. Yeah, let's do it. You should do an AIG and just have guests coming on a live stream. That's pretty good.

You really should. At Druski and Kaisenai said they make a lot of cash, though. kids. Sure, they do. Hey, back to your snore fest story. So I'm dating this hot chick. She looked at a Polish version of Catherine. She broke up with you. Yes. Yeah. Deliberately. I know. I went to her house one time and she had all my stuff neatly folded

in trash bags and I knew it was really over. Eastern European? Yes. Yeah, they always are. Yeah, that's who folds. They fold. Yeah, all of your stuff is by door. Yeah. Don't come back in. No, yeah. It was the last off any is, fuck. Do it. You done? We'll edit it. We'll edit it. I didn't have any money. We made. We made it. We made it. We made it. We made it. sandwiches to bring there. That's how broke I was. It was the first time I ever had cucumber in a sandwich

because you put cucumber in a turkey sandwich and I've eaten it ever since. I always think about her every time I eat it. Jesus. Just get sadder and sad. Dude, this is the most in unhinged story I ever. Cuccovers in a sandwich? I do, but you're making it sad. I think about her every time I eat it. So we didn't have it. We didn't really have any money but they had all these free screaming cold vanilla cokes in bins of ice

and water. How many do you have? Screaming. It was 100 degrees. I had some burn. Must have myself about 13. I must have about 13. I must have about 13 14 of them ever since then i like i like a vanilla so you used to and still to this day you'll have it still to this day i used to have them a lot after benders after everything come down well i would get a vanilla coke after a after a hangover there is nothing better i go get a mcdonald's large coke every single time the large fountain kook it's the best cook fountain kook question real fast you go to the movie theater both of you guys i got it now they got the new machine yep you can get any combination

under the sun don't like it it's too much oh gee it's not the same cherry coke what do you get when you i don't even like that they come out of the same spas i don't even like that they come out of the same spout. I don't like it either. What are you doing? It bothers me because you're mixing. You're mixing. Now I get a little, I get a little fucking cherry twang. Get out of here. You know what's so interesting. I think about this is meticulous OCD stuff. It's like when I go to an ice cream shop, what I enjoy about when they, they dip the spoons to clean off the other residues from the past ice cream? Because what if I didn't want? Put it in the barbicide. Let's go. Put it in the barbicide, dude. But that, they use the same nozzle. I taste other other drinks

in my nozzle. Especially if it's brightly colored. If someone had an orange drink before you, You're going to taste that in your drink. Yeah. All right. So what are you pulling? Traditionally, it's a cherry Coke, a lot of ice large. Popcorn, something chocolate, and something fruity. How big of the popcorn?

Do you get the biggest one or you just get the refill? If they upsell me, I'll take it, but I can do a medium. Depends if guys are good sale. You know why I like the bucket? Why? Because it's stable. The bags are bullshit. Smart.

It drives me nuts. The bags, and the bags when you're handing it, like, it's my wife's my wife's over passing bag of it. It spills every fucking time. So I just get the bucket. I just like, can I? Sometimes I'll pay for the whatever and go, can I have the bucket?

I'll pay just for the bucket itself. Then pour it in there. They sometimes get weird about giving the airs. They always get weird about it. What do they care? You're 17. Just give me the bucket. Yeah.

High school kid, give me the bucket. Yeah. And by the way, sometimes I'll, you know, I'll grease the kids. They deserve it. They get paid fucking $5 a day. It's a miserable job. Why is, I don't get why those kids don't get paid more. That sucks.

So give them a little, throw them a 20 in the changes their afternoon. What do you hear? His movie theater. Okay, so that's your, that's it. And what's, what's the chocolate? The chocolate could be, uh, peanut M&Ms, or I'm sorry, peanut butter M&Ms could be milk thuds, which I like a milk. That's why you got those teeth missing.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. And then that's, that's, that's the sweet. And then the fruit is either going to be red vines. It's going to be sour patch kids. It's going to be something fruity. That's a dessert dessert. Chocolate is the medium dessert.

That's the dessert. Yeah. And you end with something. Okay. What do you got? I don't really go to the movie. I don't know. I would just.

get the popcorn and probably some candy, some gummy berries. He's a pretzel nuggets guy too. But growing up I would do pretzel nuggets all time with the cheese. What's yours? I disagree with the pretzel nuggets. Oh, chaotic choice. I just think it's insane. I was a fat kid.

I wanted the most meal I could get. I wanted to be full. You wanted to be full. And I was a popcorn ain't going to do. They're not enough popcorn at AMC to do that. Do you have mashed potatoes? They do now. I do the pizza.

Some of these places have full dinners now. I don't like that. No, I'm not into it either. I'm not eating in the dark. I'm of traditionalists. I want popcorn. Okay, I got to get the big popcorn.

And I go, I go, if they have it, Doc Pepp, because I love Dr. Pepper. Something about the movie theater is Dr. Pepper. I don't know what it is.

I prefer Coke in the real world. But something about Doc Pepp. I mentioned to Mr. Pibs. Does that, will you do Mr. Pips as well? He's got to get his doctorate before I consume. Really? Yeah.

That's got to be a comics joke for sure. Mr. Pipp. Doesn't even go get his PhD. I love a Dr. Pepper. No, I like a Dr. Pepper. I think it's superior.

What are the flavors? I mean, We'll never know. One of them is cherry. I know that. Hold on. Let's take Coke real quick. Straight up regular Coke.

Okay. Rank can bottle fountain. There's no doubt about this. It's Mexican Coke in a bottle from here. Mexican coconut bottle is the greatest version of Coke. Then it goes fountain. Then it goes canned. Cans let's dead last.

What about plastic bottle? I will not consume. No shit. What am I do? First of all, the plastic bottle gets so warm, so fast. That doesn't hold a cold. You have to put it in a glass with ice. Defeats the entire purpose of having something on the go.

So you buy those at the gas. station the moment you're back in your car hitting that third mile of wherever you're going yeah it's warm it's lukewarm it's bullshit so if you were going to get ice from the fountain place at the gas station just get the fountain coke anyway plastic bottle coke is not even i can't even believe people like them can the only way that i did them is at family parties grandma has a two leader but that's going in a glass with ice can i give you heads up then we'll let you go yeah you want a plastic bottle to be screaming cold you bring it home i don't want i don't want it to be cold i don't want to consume it.

Just bring it home. If you're bored one day. Yeah. You take a couple swigs out of it so there's some air in it. Put it in the fridge. It's going to be colder than a full bottle. Dude, I love that you're a scientist. He thinks he's Bill Nye with this, dude.

It's going to be cold. Half a Gatorade in the refrigerator is colder than a full Gator. I swear to God. It's true. I swear to God. I believe that to be true because the air that's in there, right? That's just, that's probably easy math. Is that what it is?

Yeah. The air can get cold. The air makes it colder. But I will say this. Magic? Yeah, no. Well, he could. some sort of scientific.

But I do think it's the weakest, the bottle, the plastic are the weakest of all of the coax. But the glass bottle, Mexican Coke, real cane sugar for Mexico, which they're trying to implement in all Coke now. They're trying to fight to make it a real thing. It won't because that corn syrup is going to keep us forever. That's a big money. It's a lot of cash.

There's a lot of corn out there. Shout out to Iowa. There's just too much for them to stop doing that. But yeah, number one, Mexican Coke, then fountain and then can. I'll take a can. If I'm at, like, my buddy's son's baseball game. I'll, they have a can in the cooler. I'll do it.

I don't want it. But I'll do it. But I switch now. I'm more Coke Zero than Diet Coke. When I do drink an alternative. Coke Zero tastes much more. You go to Europe. They don't even know.

You ask for Diet Coke. They're like, what? Coca-Cola lives. It doesn't exist. Yeah, it doesn't exist. True gentleman, Andrews. True gentleman. Really is.

You know, you're really. You're really trying to be. We're flipping it around here. Flip-flopin. I like it. I love coming on the show with you guys. I can do this every week. We love you so much.

Love you. Anything you want to focus on? Do you know anything that coming up? You want to hit them? I will tease you a little bit. Bobby and I shot 10 episodes of a game show called The Bad Game Show. I heard about it. Called what?

It's called The Bad Game Show. It's going to come out on our channel. I love it. The business wasn't interested in it, and we just funded it ourselves and made it with ATC. That's how we're doing. And had a good time. And then we shot 10 episodes. And I think it's going to start in June.

We shot all tenor in the can. We're in the edit bay. But bad game show, watch bad friends. Watch, Bad, Fun, Watch Whiskey, Ginger, my other pod. And outside of that, that's all I'm doing. I'm doing a couple of dates. I'm not touring right now, but go to Anderson'sino.com.

We're doing like, I think I'm doing a St. Charles, Missouri, and I'm doing San Diego. I'm doing a couple of shows down there for fun, but I won't tour till next year. Later. Love it. We love you, buddy.

Take a dee. Love you, buddy. We love you, Kippee. You got to feed for them? All of our tickets are on sale at RUGarbage.com. Get them while they last. Love it, gang. See you next week.

Peace.