Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Andrew Schulz Returns!

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by old pal Andrew Schulz! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Blue Chew: https://www.get.bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Stop the show gang we got a little tour update coming at you. Uh-oh stay trashy tour is rolling along Vermont in Connecticut We added second shows will be there this weekend, baby get the squad and come out and see us Yeah gang then we're gonna be in Tampa, Florida second show out of there get those tickets limited tickets left Then we're going to Danny Beach, Florida Raleigh, North Carolina Louisville, Kentucky Cleveland, Ohio then Columbus, Ohio Get those tickets is a good time a little a yg with the crowd some stand-up comedy. We'll see you there more dates coming Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah

Little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think you're to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition, baby Mm-hmm. Oh, she's out there spending that money thinking about putting in a pool table for the summer Oh god, see how it works out. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and the word on Wall Street Did you think about scooping up a couple of these banks that are pinned up? About to find themselves between a rock and a forehead

What's up gang got me the leg got me the buzzer beater right there. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know Those numbers are true cooking and obviously I have to say it in this room the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com Check it the fuck out gang. It's a party over there. Yes, sir. It happened a nice quick shout out To our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good works the ones works the twos works the threes and the fours now Crosses the T's and dots the eyes and they can get a little peek at them on the Toby cam ladies But no touchy touchy give it up a T bone McScroff and Toby McBowling everybody. What up, dude?

There he is. Yo gas up the jet grab the caviar. We got the big homie in the addition Yeah, the long hair ain't lying. It might be might be warm outside, but we got the heat on in here, baby I'll tell you that right now. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today This man has led more people to the Promised Land than Moses himself He is the international sensation that has swept the nation. He is the light that shows us the way Give it up for the king of New York Andrew Schultz everybody. Let's go Bro, first of all, I told you guys this a million times when I walked in but the new studio is absolutely unbelievable Like a whole tour not yet. Yeah, not yet. We're going though

I walked in and the waiting room could be a set sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's unbelievable We went we went big to these to these spending the fucking cut man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah And also the intro was was immaculate. Thank you, buddy Do you guys remember that show where they it was like a Japanese game show? Dubbed over maximum extreme extreme challenge Mxc they need to get you guys. That's the babble. Yeah. Oh, that would be a good time. Well Japanese television money I'm a bad. Let's go. Let's go. You talk to someone Schultz. Get me locked in. I'm gonna make it happen Plus I hear that milk in Japan is really really good. Yeah, great

They almost had a back in the day MTV to bought the rights to that and then they Had Damien lemon and I okay of it over. No shit. Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, didn't make it But I think you guys could pull it off a hundred percent, but I wouldn't even have you guys dug I think I would have you guys actually just making fun of Japanese people slipping Buddy I gotta ask you The cut the haircut. Yes. Yeah, we were talking about that before a little shooting. I was doing a movie Hold on. This is how cool you are. I didn't even think anything of it. I was just like this is this fuck I love what Schultz. He rocks. Yeah. Yeah, I'm also slightly offended by that. You should be

I meant it as a little bit of an insult. It was a dig for sure. I'm such a fucking sociopath I would walk around like this thinking people would be normal I can tell and I'm always very jealous of that. Yeah that you know to be to have the haircut for whatever you're working on I've done that in my lowest points. I've gotten a regular haircut and been like, yeah I'm shooting something next week. I get my haircut for it, but usually just the production company does that No, you were trying to get laid. I remember the story. He told a girl He was on boardwalk empire one night and then was gonna see her the next day and went and got his haircut like boardwalk He showed up the next day looking like Buscemi

Smoking on filters drinking whiskey in the morning. I love it. Yeah What do you got cooking up in we're shooting up in Calgary, but it's it's called a thick it and it's It's got a Peter Dinklage in it. I like I love Dinklage. Oh, he's the man. Yeah, so I was like hell Yeah, I'll do that shit. I want to make it. I want to make a couple movies So I'm learning how to behave and it's a period. It's a period piece. It's like 1908 Sharp thuds. I don't know what that means sharp wardrobe. Oh, actually, I'll show you guys a picture. Yeah, I'm like a pimp in 1908 That's a good time So it's fun fun cool little project and you're done with it now. Yeah, yeah, we're finished

So they're trying to keep the cup for a little while. No, but I want to do reshoots Oh, no, but that's funny Sometimes they do do that, but I just got made fun of so much by my boys for having it that I think I have to keep it Yeah, yeah, just lean into it. I think I have to you already took the exact Yeah, now you look cool and if I change it because they clown me then I'm just a bitch you've lost Yeah, yeah, then they know they can just shit on you and you're gonna have to change next time Exactly, so I got it. Yeah, you gotta dig in fucking lesson right now. It's trench warfare, baby And I'll tell you what I guarantee you see a couple of those cuts starting to pop up because they saw Schultz

You come in tomorrow, I got it I got the receding hairline with the cool sides Stash and everything Blinders The stash is sharp. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You gotta keep. Thank you. All right. Fuck it But you're one of those we're in one of those worlds where like cool is walk is wonky So it's like you can do anything and you still come off as cool You know, I don't know you have confidence to do it. Am I cool? I don't know about that. Do we want to be the coolest guy out of here?

I mean, I don't think you're trying to be cool. I think you're very genuinely authentic your person You're not trying to be cool. Yeah, you're just cool. You're just a cool dude I'll take it You guys got to do the tour the studio some believe well, yeah, we will Okay, I'll be a patreon Ww.patreon.com. All right sign up sign up to the page and get out gang. Yeah It's just great. Thank you. Thank you, buddy. I'm in your footsteps. Thank you for laying the ground in your own way And yeah, it's it's cool to see

Cool to see your guys influence Everything we say Isn't a good way I think I think I think the I think the sign of success is that like Cool haircuts. That's what you mean. No, like cool hair cut. You pave a way and then I think other people I think as human beings we look at things that are successful and we go, okay Wow, there is an opportunity here, you know, and I think that that's you know I think that's how a judge a sign of success a lot of people have been putting on weight I can tell a couple of blood guys out there

This is a good thing This is awesome. Thank you, man. Thank you. I've always said I always thank you We've taken a page out of your book and you know, I appreciate the guide and show you've always been there whenever I call I text whatever But listen as they're fucking amazing and you guys you have a great product I remember the first time watching I did I thought it was on the first time here and I was like, holy shit Like this is it. I think I hit I don't know I think I hit you and I originally I was like make it shorter make it 15 minutes

And I was like and I like what you guys have obviously done you guys Because in my mind the only thing that I had seen that was anything like in the world was the Hot yeah, yeah, and it's like this is so much better because you don't have to eat chicken Like it's just you get all the wings would When are you talking one thing he hates about the show we can we open the biscuits what the fuck is going on over here? Sitting here without wings. I thought we'd do it mozzarella sticks get a sampler Yeah, I was just like this is it what a great way to go on there be vulnerable and like brag about how trash you are and Everybody wants to share the stories like you just created this great great vehicle

It's one of those shows where I where I think about people. I want to be on that then we get that a lot sure They're like a bird will hit us up. He's like you gotta have you got it I'm looking at fucking daily the picture Guy Fieri there it is. Yeah, there's so many so many all but that's how you know you have a product Like people do that with Rogan, right? Like you you see some you know scientists or a guy who's like an Egyptologist or a great new comedian You're like, yo, you need to go on Rogan, right? And it's because we feel like something special would happen Sure, sure. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you got me cooking. I got to think about people. I really

You got to get the chicken guy you got to get hot chicken guy. Oh, we we were I think somebody connected us at some point Yeah, yeah, yeah, and talk yeah Sean Evans yeah, yeah, yeah, Sean Evans shout out. We saw him at Chrissy D's premiere Chrissy D has the Kid look Chrissy man, I like the glasses look I think he got a pedophile, but I'm on not for that reason. It just looks good I can't call anybody a pedophile Dahmer's roommate The less successful Dahmer I

Can't get him in the van. I don't know what it is. Can't get his act together. I'm out of gas That's funny to that end of who people you want on the podcast We haven't had you on in a little while. I know we want to do a little recap You know what I mean? We got a couple of new cues here. We want we want to toss at you see what's going on Let's do it Just off the off the rip doing well deserve everything you got. Let's not forget that. Thanks You saw the the 52 grand back there. Yeah, mr. Segura from his birthday dinner Wow Do you got anything that can compare to that? What are you dropping these days on an on a nice din din the most?

I've spent on a dinner you take 15 people no It's a lot it's a lot it's a lot yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I do feel guilty if they pay is that weird you should are there If it's us yeah, yeah, yeah, they were I mean if you're going out with other rich guys, you know you can spread the well Oh, no, no, we definitely yeah, yeah, I'll if you're the richest guy at the table. You got to put it down. You got to do it Otherwise, I'd be dude if we went out and you were like Kevin you had Toby pay never never once never once Toby No, dude good. He doesn't even fake reach And wouldn't kill him to pick up an Uber from time to time. I'm gonna split attacks right off

I love when people act like tax write-offs make it free. Yeah, I tell you know nobody's written off Make some money to pay the fucking taxes in our head. That's all free We're downsizing the studio we're moving back We're moving into what we're moving to what you shelter who the fuck's buying Fiji water The fucking Fiji remember comics comedy club that was closed close before we got here, but I know that I know the story I know that's how I knew that club was going under because they Started with Voss and like three weeks later. They were on Poland spring. I was like oh this shit is closing Soak up the spots while you can pull in spring in three weeks. That's a tough

That's a you know glass bottles to the shit that don't even stand on the table Wobbly ones, you know someone got that for that hit that monthly invoice and was like what though Three grand on water About to turn the lights off Yeah, I'm trying to think most expensive dinner cuz you go out a lot, you know a lot. Yeah, it's nothing like time a 52 is We just did YMH as well and he said we talked about it And he was like that was a shut the restaurant down and fill it with like friends That was a big big to do most expensive so far I haven't gotten paid back for this

I don't know if I'll get paid back from who but uh Burning man taking the boys to burning now that looked oh that was that was all fresh duds and everything too Yeah, yeah, that was that was probably expensive and I'm supposed to get paid back But it's like so much time has gone. Yeah, you can't what was the deal I'll get it and then everybody send me X and nobody sent X. Yeah, I think If one month anything dips like you're gonna be hitting everybody Look The MX Cardamon like who the fuck is Toby just for an example

Where'd you hit this week? Where have you had dinner this week? Are you have eaten dinner at home? You know we too? I think now this week is early so nothing really so far but uh because the missus doesn't right at the house Oh, she does but she likes to go out too. She likes to go out Penny on On going out to dinner, but that's how we I know that's we that's how we party if you will like we're not Yeah Yeah, just judge

The greatest people in the world at their craft. Yeah, that's why it's an amazing thing when you go out to a restaurant And the nice of the restaurant like for example like a restaurant It doesn't have a Michelin star and a restaurant that does the amount of like Judgment To a Michelin cuz you're like do you deserve you act like you fuck am I eating a diner? You're giving them the star like you're the guy who decides if they get another star I was eating chicken fingers on the way there in the uber, you know, I don't fucking know anything I'm literally is my whole life was was diners

Which are the best places? They're dying in New York now though. They fucking are there's like this guy doesn't even know diners are Yeah If things are going well, yeah, I'll have an omelet. It's crazy about the price of eggs. What Bro, I saw all these people crying about the price of eggs. I'm like, what the fuck has happened a dollar more You have quails drop eggs off on your balcony every morning He's got a dinosaur egg How bad did eggs get I don't I mean we live in New York So it's like oh went from, you know, $9 to I don't know

I think in middle America where they were like 99 cents a dozen Yeah, I think it went up to like five six seven eight bucks or something. Yeah, but New York It's like living in a fucking airport man. Everything's expensive. Yeah, but I don't know like I feel like we freak out a lot about that I mean, this is gonna sound so fucking pretentious But like people do free they'll be like gas went from 350 to four. Yeah, what is that five dollars? I know But I think I think that was always my thought too But I think that affects the price of every good then because you got to transport it transportation Lights go up. Yeah

Yeah, then we should complain about that. Yeah, well, yeah, I guess because when the pump goes up 50 cents It's like, yeah, I think we can manage sure if it was just that Jamming everybody up. Yeah, but I feel like we take it out Like I see the price go up and the people go fucking Ukraine. Yeah I don't know how anything connects. Yeah, that's like the smartest thing I ever said You don't need to know anything I'm also big on having something to complain about so if I can if I can throw it on you know Ukraine something anything gas prices something somebody's getting everybody just trying to connect dots like milk goes up goddamn Justin Bieber I know yeah, just fucking just get well

I will say that's something that I learned from like making money is that like you care so much less about shit And then the people who are way more wealthy that care you're like You mean like this stuff where people come out like a famous person will come out and be like Oh He's in St. Bart's you gotta take five flights Okay, there's no way he can you just need a cause that isn't gonna piss off Republicans or Democrats Yeah, you need like a unique one in the middle and they all still buy tickets to the movie exactly damn Shultz he's got figure out he got this guy's wired in man. You the beauty of it's like I

Don't know that's there is some beauty in knowing that like these people don't really care But they kind of got a care sure that's the genius of like a like a Warren Buffett Like because if you got tons of money and you act like it people hate hate you they fucking despise I've the same car living the same house McDonald's every day Warren Buffett takes a picture once a year on a bench drinking a diet coke with khakis Believe that's his fucking life. Then he puts on a solid gold suit I need the video after when he like throws the diet Snacks a girl in the fucking face gets blown by some 14 year old boy and does what billionaires do sure that makes it

I never thought about it. There's no way he lives in the same house in where is it Omaha? Which Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska, Omaha, Nebraska, Omaha, Nebraska. I've been to Omaha, Nebraska He doesn't live in Omaha, Nebraska. They find some old guy from the fucking six-flags commercial No way, but it's genius because nobody shits on Warren Buffett. Some guy in a bodysuit cutting the grass I love him, but we love him because he acts like he's poor You need to damn and if you don't that this is what the billionaires do and you have to because we'll just kill him If you don't if you have tons of money and you want to like spend it and have fun You need to buy a newspaper to defend you

So that's we got to get a newspaper I don't know talking a paper route either. I want to own the thing But that's what like Bill Gates has you know MSNBC like MS is Microsoft NBC and Yeah, that's we don't even know we just see that fucking lesbian yapping on the TV all the time We're like, ah, there's nothing doing Bill Gates, but there's a it is. Yeah, Bezos says Washington Post They all have a news Shout out to him. He's out there flexing on the back. Yeah, nice piece on his side Yeah, bro, he did the wildest rich shit ever

They broke down he made a boat in like the Netherlands or some shit They're good at making boats over there and a super yacht and the yacht was so big it couldn't pass through this Law like river area because there was a bridge that was built in like the 1500s So we had them just take down the bridge. That's wild and then put the bridge back up Yeah, when you can change roads and stuff. That's fucking how roads is one thing a Bridge of an old bridge from the 1500 bro probably some paperwork involved Yeah, shout out to me started on shit in this fucking garage So that's the other thing. Yeah, but let's talk about that helix helix helix helix

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But I was like, yo, does anybody kick cuz I find myself just caring about less things like I care about my boys I care about my family like I you know, it's just a smaller I care about, you know, I care about you guys. I love seeing you guys exceeding. I like seeing other, you know My boys were being with but like caring about who the fucking governor of some state is I think my thing is I never cared for the longest time my main care was pain rent my cell phone getting cut off All that kind of shit. So it was like, I mean up until you know, you Fucking 18 months ago or whatever was two years. So it was like that was my main call like my main thing And now I'm like, I don't give a fuck about I just don't I also don't have an opinion on anything

Political Yeah It's just a wildest thing man like to fake it like I have I have my friends that like still are like politically engaged And shit, and they'll be like these drag queens are teaching kids or whatever. Like have you heard this? And I'll have to be like Do not care if the drag queens are teaching my kids You don't have any skin in the game at the moment Exactly. Yeah, you have no skin in the game

But that's what Rogan said. He's like yo once you have kids you start caring about everything again Sure about you. It's just about the kids. Yeah in the world that they could grow up and I was like, okay That makes sense. So now I'm in this like weird time where my wife or and I are fucking trying to have kids But we don't have them yet. So I'm just enjoying being able to not care about anything You're over there judging spicy tuna rolls Given the sous chef dirty looks it was wet Why is this to know all so wet buddy? Would you get this uni the East River

Are you reading anything right now show chief, dude, I read books. I've read I'm trying to like learn how to Trying to learn how to to write a movie. I want to okay I'm learning I'm reading all these books about story and by reading. I mean, I'm just listening to the fucking sure of course And and you don't want to 2023. What are we doing here? But you don't keep it in as much. No, you don't retain it at all It's like it's just like it's like music in the car in the background. You don't retain it Listen to it three times. Yeah, so I don't know if I'm saving time doing this listening shit. True Oh, yeah, you're not really you retain it way different. Yeah, so I'm into reading so I read this book about William store

Wrote it and then I know when I'm reading a hero with a thousand faces I think it's like a Joseph is a Joseph Campbell or something like that So I've been trying to like read about like stories and when do you listen to these on the treadmill before I go to bed But you're listening to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but throw the ear pods on you have the ear pods on in bed. Yeah, sometimes You do the pods or you do like the big bows. No, no, I'll do the pot. I'll do the pot You guys a wife. He doesn't really wake up. She's good at like she sleeps with Like Harry Potter on every night, so she's fine. Go to sleep. You guys go to sleep with the TV on she does and I turn it off immediately After she falls asleep. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty good. She likes that. That's comfort for her. That's good. The Harry pots pretty good

Not bad. I got a king-size bed. I assume California King Now why is that why is that important what this is bigger, but it's not know it is nuts It's longer. It's not as wide. Yeah. Yeah, it's not as wide as a king I think it's the same No, let me get some dimension, but there's another there's one bigger. There's an Alaska. That's the biggest I there's a bigger one. Holy shit. Really? Uh-huh. Hey, it's win. That's all you got to worry about to Alaska No, you go to last you'll find out why it's the biggest bet

This is what it's huge. No, there's some big broth You're gonna need some square footage in a bed like that. There's some big girls. It's like five to one Men to women. There's no like incentive for women to be in shape. There's nothing It's like there's guys are starving their crab fishing. They're coming off the boat and they're like, I'll fuck anything Sure, these girls are just walking around blowing cigarettes. They don't give a flying fuck Yeah, we're in the hoodies with the mustard stains like You're an eight out there as a woman You're up by the docks

How's he appealing I got some crabs here for you. All right, California King dimensions 84 inches long 72 inches wide regular King side King size 80 inches long 76 inches wide So it's two inches wider four inches wider the regular King is regular and then the California King is longer. Correct Yeah, yeah, so why don't you just go regular King because you'll fit. I mean, it's not like you're you're not fucking chacked I'll say this you want to save a little room in Plus if people come over to look at the apartment and they go into the bedroom California King really rolls off the tongue. Does it? Yeah, it sounds better because it's not a king. It's a fucking California It's an upgrade. Yeah, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Will you or the wife when you leave a place like if you leave like a hotel room or like say you guys stare at like Rhett no You guys leave at the like on the dresser before you leave depends I Typically have merch cash. So I like a half cash. I'll probably a night 10 to 20 Per night per night. We're only we're doing one night or like we're in and we're out for the most part We're not doing like weekends anywhere. I'm a big tipper I almost never tip the cleaning crew. You got to change that. I know because I reached their found out

They're paid per room not our They're paid per unit And it's like a shitty rate. I found out. God drop a 20 shows. Yeah, I gotta grease But you're spaying a nice joint. I found out. I mean I assumed that they were making six figs the all these years These poor Latvian women walking around the hotels knocking on the door. Oh that money you guys I need to change your bed, please Right, you got full Benny's us just going later. She's like I need this money 75 cents per room

What about all your stock options Yeah, you got you got a tip heavy. Yeah, I gotta get that what I was gonna say is if you guys like rent a house or something like that Yeah, do you ever say goodbye to places like or like, you know, if you're leaving somewhere like thank you house No, never. No. All right. Yeah, I don't mind that as a sentiment. I like that Okay means the placements on me to you, but no no sure I would actually I would really love to find a place that You know like when you're a kid I know if you guys is a kid but like you're you at your family found a place the parents enjoyed it the kids enjoyed it and

They just went back there. Sure. Oh, of course And they just got so much joy out of that's the Harbor House and Ocean City for a foley family boom You go there every summer get to the water. Yeah, enjoy it The parents get to kind of let you off the leash a little bit Yep, they get to kick back and I hoped it my wife and I find a place like that. Well, you're trying. I see the Stories you're fucking trying, but I don't know I have this weird thing now where it's like I Kind of want to see everything which I don't know if that's the best way to go through life because if you're just skimming the top You might you're not really getting like hey

We found this place that we spend you know every week a year at it Yeah, Kippy was saying that before you got here. We were curious what if you did move out of the city Is there any place that we thought about your eye? We thought about this I mean problem my wife's from Santa Barbara So maybe like Los Angeles because I still need to do stand-up full time Competitively. Yeah, also like in the city doing spots, you know, you can't move to like fucking Toledo or something Where's the last place you were where's the last place you you and the Mrs. Visitor? Where did we go because if you haven't seen Schultz's Instagram the Schultz's do vacations

Well, we had a bougie one. We went to all right that Arizona one. I'm on Gary. Yeah, it's uh, you're not tipping out there Everything they probably don't like it's all crypto probably I gotta you gotta give him a Bitcoin or some shit these new age rich guys You want to know class you gotta leave a baby on the dresser class dude this place There's no money So there's no bill. There's no everything. There's no anything at all I think the food is all included and then drinks you can pay extra for but they never asked for a bill So you don't tip the tip is included

Shit, yeah, yeah, but it's really it's like you're fucking Oh, I knew that price because my wife just looked it up so we could go and I was like, I'm not Chelsea Fucking it's wild. Let's go to Burning Man or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah burning up Couldn't afford to drive through the parking lot It is a while, but we went we went there on Thanksgiving weekend, right or Thanksgiving week And I didn't even look it up like an asshole like I just saw it my wife show me pictures. Oh, it looks beautiful I didn't realize it's on a fucking Native American reservation. Everybody. There's Native American. So I'm there Thanksgiving

Right and all these poor you guys got any plans for the hollies Fucking your family if I had any Literally I got the saddest happy Thanksgiving ever from a native person But now that place was a spit in your food But no bill ever they just ask you your room number and then they put it on and the tip is applied because yeah Because this this is rich people don't ever want to they don't want to do this. Why are you giving me papers? Yeah, I do only I just Chelsea gives him a fake room number

On the ninth floor More my thighs please I just did something in Puerto Rico was the same thing was a you know It was a high-end luxury hotel. Where'd you stay? The Vanderbilt And it was the same thing you have to sign which is fine But my whole thing is like just run no sign. No, I know what you but like the thing I was getting mad about I'd go up to the bar at the pool and get a corona They print me your two receipts. I got a sign my room the name I go just run it

I'll figure it out later. Put it into the room Just go put it all this guy came back upside down and brunch. Oh, yeah, I got jammed off at a fucking At a at a was was like a chef's tasting thing. They got jam. It was really way more expensive and it's so lost to me I'm a dirt bag. I have a horrible. I like chicken tenders. That's my Oh, it's like let's do it. Yeah, I got the wine pairing. I got fucking jammed up and I hated the little sticker So the wine pairing you're in it little sticker shock for hippie What was it 1200 I think

For two of us. I'm not neither one of us liked it Yeah, it was a lot. It was I'm that's law. I'd rather it's lost on me. Yeah, give me a fucking I'm a shot in a beer guy and you're in Puerto Rico It's not like they have like a rich wine culture. Yeah, no. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't like we were in like France or some rum But do my wife got the mocktail a little cocky. Oh, yeah Wait, she paid for does she not drink? She doesn't drink Okay, so there but they had like a mocktail pairing by and that that was a hundred dollars that what a racket that is Wow, 100 bucks on it. I said just a snap. Oh fucking we're out of here

That's next level. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's German, right? German I was having a dinner with a guy German dude the other day and They're unique people. Well, I actually really enjoyed Germans because you can I love very direct and oh, they don't there's no beating around the bush You'll find out where you do this is how yeah, this is how ruthless my wife my wife calls me a successful podcaster and not comedian She's like, yeah, we're a podcaster. I'm like, I'll fucking fight you right now Now I gotta I gotta ask from the every man's perspective who was this guy I can't even tell who the hell you're hanging out with these days who the German guy. Yeah, you're hanging out with like race car drivers and financiers This bank account. Yeah, he's a guy who he works for you know a company that we might you know do some business with right?

And that's real vague rich guy and no, but he's I'm saving a word in an Arby's He had a funny thing because I was you know, he brought up the school shootings in America And I was like, yeah, what do you guys think about that like from Germany like the schools the shooting thing and he had an interesting Idea on it that I'm curious about your wife's perspective and he goes he goes. Yeah, I mean it is so weird for us This is so strange like why do you guys do this? But then again, you know, we have the Autobahn I go What do you mean? And the Autobahn is there like highway system and you can drive as fast as you want on the Autobahn and Every year

There are senseless deaths from people driving too fast on the Autobahn and every year the government tries to go Well, maybe we should just make some restrictions So not everybody can drive so fast on the Autobahn and then Germans go it is my right It's my duty to drive my Mercedes As fast as I want you will not take it away from me. Like they have the exact same gun rights thing Can't take my speed I can't even kill Jews anymore. You're gonna take away my speed. You will take my driving gloves from my cold dead hands So I thought it was interesting that I never thought about it that way

But every guaranteed every culture every country has a thing that they identify with that makes no sense and Causes senseless deaths, but they refuse to relinquish it because they think it's an attack on their identity Of course, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to figure what the other ones I never thought of that like Italians with the spaghetti Okay, hold on speaking of a travel This was a hot button debate on the pod hot button. You're on a plane You put the seat back on the plane immediately The second I sit down the city's back. Okay, they don't make you put it up on takeoff in

First sometimes that's the other that's another thing that happened like I'm I'm flying first. Yeah, we don't go back Oh, we can't go it's hard to go back But yeah, it's yeah, I just go back immediately you say anything no concern The only time I didn't do it is when 50 cent was sitting behind me and I had so much respect. What plane is this? Thought Tony Ayo was gonna come clip you real quick Tony was in coach I Was behind me and I have so much respect for 50 shout out to I didn't drop the seat back at all But yeah, I didn't go back at all that's how much respect I have for fit

Do you know him at all? No, I mean we engage there Yeah, we said hello and everything that he gave me a look as if maybe he knew me You know 50s the man like why are you crazy? fucking straddled being famous Making things in Hollywood and saying whatever the fuck he wants sure on social media and just blatantly talk about shooting people at the same Time yeah, like any any joke he can make Nobody says single thing about it like it's almost as if he has dirt on every single important person in the music business in Hollywood and politics

Because there's nothing he can't say and he has to apologize for nothing. So it's like he's the dream I'm like this guy figured it out. Yeah, shout out to fifth. Huh? Yeah, 50s a leg You taking the shoes off on a plane If it's like if I'm wearing the new balance 550s, they pinch my bunion and I'll take them shits off immediately How old are you 80? 550 is the 550 it's the 550 the it's the shoe that got really popular It'd be like kind of replace like a like almost like a naked dunk Okay, maybe two right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got you. I got you and

And yeah, but I'll take those if it's uncomfortable. I'm taking the shoe off Absolutely, if it's like a running sneaker that I wore for the airplane Oh, no, I'm gonna leave it on but I have no qualms about taking a shoe off and walking to the bathroom and Sand shoes sans shoes with socks stepping in the the piss droplet sometimes with new my trash, dude Do you ever masturbate on a plane? I've tried Damn sturdest wouldn't give me my leg room. Yeah No, I time it with the stewardess making an announcement Keep going

So it makes a Jim Carrey trying to pull one No, I don't know it's a hard thing to like a Lot of people do it. I've never it's never really crossed my mind like why I don't know Yeah, I mean, I'm on so much propitia that like I are you. Yeah, I don't have It's working better for you though. It was when did you How are you? How are you doing it took his first pill? You just fucking crushing it up and then just sweeping it into a dustbin Destroy a sponsor a month

This guy ain't a client What's going on? Yeah, man, I'm trying you're trying to fight genetics don't work so but you came on late Oh, wait, I should have if it was one of those things. I wish I would have started way before. Yeah, I started 23. Oh, no I started 34 you gotta get in what like the second you notice anything. You know, you should have started in eighth grade Were you one of those high school guys? No No Were that kid that went gray, you're like what the fuck is that all that I was that was rough

Yeah, we had a kid go bald and he was a senior was a oh, yeah, it was a junior. He was starting to go That's like diet or something. I mean, that's not normal. I think he was the coach or the team In the layup lines with us and the other team would be a player coach Must be a fifth year senior Okay shower at night show in the morning Do you shower every night shower after? exercise and and if my if but before sex if my wife forces me to okay, I don't think a real romance I mean you try to have kids that it removes romances sure entirely

I don't know if you guys have tried at all for that you guys not intentionally. No, no, wait Are you guys? No, no that come off weird. No, we've never tried. I've had sex is what I'm trying to say I don't think you have I'll be honest. I was a wild answer You made me nervous news right here wait you mean when you put you put the wee-wee in the whoo-hoo. Yeah, are you guys going? I'm not a virgin. Yeah. Yeah, are we going out? What do you mean? Yeah, I have sex with my wife Oh, are you guys trying to have a child? No, not at the moment. No, Kip. Let me ask you this. Hold on. How old do you mind me asking how old your wife is?

We're both 36 36. So you guys got it. Yeah, it's got it. Why don't you come over we'll talk about it I mean I'm telling you this is no, of course. I know go after it. I know I know because it's not when you start It's a while after sure, of course. That's what we're learning. I know go after it. Yeah I mean your wife doesn't I'm chomping up over here, right? No, she's on the mocktails All right, so it's not it's not a regimented thing your shower with my oh That is more regiment. No, the showers. No, I think if I work out if I sweat if I don't if I'm not sweating I don't really feel a need to shower this morning before you came in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I worked out

I did Pilates if that isn't some fucking Yeah, he did Pilates. What's your for breakfast this morning? I had uh Oh a meal thing they did I'm doing So like I'm getting these like meals gotcha. Okay. Yeah, you got a chef No, what you're telling me? No. No. So shout out to the muscle doc. Uh, Jordan Shows. He's he's the fucking man and uh, He bleeped out. Yeah, bleep it But no, I'm like my shoulder got all fucked up. I had to get a cortisone shot My body's starting to fall apart like everything is just like you're gonna be doing you're gonna be doing testosterone

Oh, the second my wife gets pregnant. I'm on everything peptides Hg You're going to the big guy Is already on it really? I don't think he cares. I'm gonna fuck. Yeah. Yeah. He's juicing. He's on the peptide day He just started I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If he wasn't angry enough already That guy's got an edge to him. Shout out. God. No, but I would absolutely do it 100% this Pilates. You did it Why don't you do the fucking ozempic shit if you're trying to lose weight ozempic Yeah, this is what all this is the shots I was talking about you just take a shot and then you fucking lose the weight

That's what everybody in hollywood. You what this another thing that heroin? Yeah, all right, but without the sleepiness like you just have a great day and you get your shit done and The CBD of heroin literally. Yeah. No, it's just it's it's diabetes. It was like a diabetes medicine Like regulate your blood sugar in solo just makes you not hungry. It's like so this is what every this is what you fucking realize Dude, like uh, all right, you know when you first started like getting some shit off and then you realize Oh, wow, like it's easier to get a restaurant reservation or maybe these people want to give us clothing It's still not easy for me to get a reservation. I don't know. I don't know who you think we are. It's coming soon It's coming. I got the knife from applebees last week

You can get a hoagie at the wah-wah. There we go. They know me at the wah-wah. Yeah, so like uh, you realize like all these like Athletes and everything not even athletes like these hollywood stars and everything like that It's like they're not really just kind of working out like us. Oh, no. They're on every stick of fucking juice They got the trainers. They got the food and all this kind of shit. So, um Yeah, I don't know. I'm down to do all of it. Yeah, I think yeah, you're doing the Pilates at the house No, I go to this studio real Pilates. Okay. Yeah, but it's uh, it was I am private session or you with other people private session I had to kind of rehab this fucking solar I just don't have confidence in my ability to do it like I need someone who constantly can like sure

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Um, hmm. You're getting dressed in the morning. Do you put socks on or pants first? Do you go socks than pants or pants than socks? Either or No, really can't be tied down. Yeah. Yeah. No ritual at all. Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah I'm a pants before socks kind of guy. That makes sense. Yeah when you're getting in the shower Yeah, now see this is a little tricky because I'm sure you have a glass door, right? Yeah

Back when you had just a regular curtain say you're in a hotel room. Yeah, like a like a Shittier hotel room. Yep, not one of the $5,000 a night. Yeah Would you get in towards the front of the shower or the back of the shower? What do you think? Oh, the back of the shower and then enter the water, of course You're not just jumping right in the fucking right in the splash jumps right into the splash He does and he even sneaks around the toilet. You have the square footage to block the water And I'm not trying to make it like it's like putting a wall up. Exactly. He just told me about the ozempics And I'm not trying to I'm not trying to bully you. I am you are

What I'm saying is you can push the water in a direction away from you It's hitting the tile if we walk in it's just a little guys like us spraying and other Just hold my titty up All right. Okay. All right. Uh, do you know any of the lyrics from the eight mile battle raps? Um, you went to krembrook. That's a private school. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's not classy Yeah, no, I know that I think I might know that that whole thing probably Yeah, that hit when we were that was like, uh, great. Yeah Also, I like how m&m did it kind of like howard stern where it's just like one movie knock it out of the park

Don't need to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to private parts private parts was I mean, does it hold up because I thought it was unbelievable. I don't know Not that long ago. Hold up. Top shelf movie. Hmm. Yeah. I mean what he did is Truly unbelievable one and done No, I'm just saying his career. Oh, yeah, of course. Shout out to him. I mean, yeah, I imagine one of the he's the goat He's the greatest literally what about uh, what what what goes on first the deodorant or the shirt? Uh deodorant. Yeah Right out the shower

Deodorant I go shirt. Thank you. It gets on your it gets on your it gets on your clothes. Do you use the white deodorant? I use yeah, I use uh secret. What are you using or dove? I use the white Yeah, um, I think you're jamming up. Yeah, I think old spice or something my wife. Really? I figured it was some real rich guys Honestly, I don't really buy many things guys to be honest Like what I don't know that jacket looks pretty nice. What's the soap? It looks like a crown royal bag This fucking guy coming in here in a velvet jacket with gold trim and I'm not supposed to say anything

I got a handkerchief for some Hennessy. I'll tell you that Make some incredible hulks in here or something Crowning coke on a rock. Let's go Okay, it's mostly experiences. That's what I'm trying. That's yeah like going to the fucking crazy hotel Or you know doing italy or something like that Like and yeah trips and then trying to do those trips with with the boys and their wives Like that is that's peak if you could get that down Like do like a summer thing and like a winter thing and you just you know just live life, baby

Yeah, man, that is that is just with us grateful and live life. Just I don't want to brag but we got Connecticut coming up See you soon out where you guys going in Connecticut. Uh the venue. Yeah, it's new haven. It's uh like a Rock clubby performance space. Yeah, yeah Graduating a little bit out of the clubs But we were down we were down there in Tejas as we as we were saying and we had it we had it Oh, yeah, what'd you think about the mother ship? I I mean Unbelievable. Yeah, it's like a guy who knows a lot about comedy made a really good comedy club

It's the corners are all rounded on that thing. It's fucking in a good way. I mean, yeah places sharp It's run sharp comics are all sharp staff. Everybody was nice as shit Unbelievable now. Were you guys nervous going on? I was fucking crazy nervous dude. Just because you're like what the fuck it's It's rogan's club. I it only met him. Tell him what happened I had only met him a second before right like he came into the green room Hey, how you doing mr. Rogen? You know what I mean? And then I ran off to the corner and uh, so then i'm going up They're bringing me up on stage and they do like to pass the mic type thing And uh, I'm about to go up and it's your boy Derek who I that was my love Derek's great

And hysterical man. Yeah killer killer killer great guy. Yeah, we're gonna have him on here next time. He's in new york And uh, he's a good dude. So I I had never met him, but I knew him through like, you know, you guys working together I was like, hey, what's up, man? I'm kevin. You know, I'm next. He's like, yeah, what's up? Cool. Cool. Cool So then he's on stage and they're like, all right, he's lit and I went in and I'm you know You did the you've done you've been there, right the small room So I'm like against the wall in the small room about to get called up And he's like this net there's like this next guy, you know, uh My brother in comedy and I'm like, well, that ain't me dude. I'm like this ain't this ain't fucking good

I didn't realize that I was like, oh, that's so sweet He thought he was just like big up in you So right then I know I'm like, I'm dead in the water whoever it is. This ain't good And then he's like ladies and gentlemen Joe Rogan and it was like throwing a fucking hand grenade in the One guy stabbed himself nuts Because everybody bought those tickets to see now they got to see the long shot The best they never thought Rogan's gonna come on and the small room like what we got tickets to the small room He pops in he's fucking, you know, I mean, he's killing and then they're like, all right

We don't you know, we're not sure how long he's doing like we don't know if he's gonna bring you We don't know anything and they were like We'll bring you up over the god mic or someone to run up on stage. He doesn't know you certain death Yeah, so I'm like, oh man, I'm fucking dead to rights. I gotta fucking follow him I gotta follow it's like following Jesus in heaven. This is what you gotta do That's a tough follow and a tough good He walked back to the he walked back to the back of the room waddle him back like an open mic Oh, dude, I came back. I turned my head wouldn't look at him

Don't come to me for sympathy I was like, hey man, you want to go next? I'll get that stick on me. I'll give you a hundred bucks. You go next So then he goes up and then he fucking so I'm like, all right, and then he's like, all right, you guys have been great And I'm like, all right, let's see fucking how this is just I'm gonna be executing If he gets off that stage and every because like 20 people got up to you know Following anybody it's that creates a fun. That's that big in that play It's a buzz for you know, so he goes but if there's silence on the stage and all of you here

next up on the It's like it's like being lost at kmart as a kid We have a five-year-old and I'll we got a guy that's gonna try to do comedy next He says he's on propitia. We don't believe him But that didn't happen this guy's garbage. Wait, is that the what's the show? So then so then shout out to him fucking Mr. Rogan. Oh rogan did it goes Guys, you've been great. You know yada yada yada next I come to the stage from the r u garbage podcast kevin ryan So now I shit myself

If you don't think I saved that that fucking instagram story, he doesn't even go up just walks out the way Ain't gonna get better than this guys And it did not However, did you catch one? Hold on did you catch one? No, let me tell him let me tell him from from his perspective Fucking soldier right here. Okay dead on it. It's like storming the beaches It goes up there goes up there bobbin and weaving for about

I'm not even fucking around about 25 people got up and there's that place is just above the holy shit that guy They get up to go to the bathroom because he did you know a longer set So whatever I think people are like this is now my check. I just got to see one of the most famous people in human history Was in a room with 50 people and then just left It was gonna be an energy shift Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then like I get up there Energy shift Uh, man, but so I'm there first stroke swinging a mess

Second joke swinging a man, but he stays in the pocket. So it's like one of those things where it's like it's like a check soldier It's like a dude that there's just people are talking the holy fuck. Are you acknowledging the room? Are you doing the holy shit Joe Rogan one more time? How fucking awesome is that to by myself? You know 15 20 seconds, whatever But then it's like, all right, you got a fucking set on just I just started fucking clipping away at it Then probably 90 seconds Yeah, two man 90 seconds your hands

You're fucking I'm making I'm connected and then by the end of the set I was fucking crushing great happy with it And he brought me up and I started murdering Step right over Sword man doing the truffle shuffle up there That's funny. Did you guys have a talk before about who should go first? No, they it was an order It was yeah, they were like, hey, you're next. I caught my medicine on sunday But I had a little bit of a buffer It was it it was yeah, that's a that was a different kind of medicine Derek was hosting on sunday

Yeah, and I just happened to got the luck of the drawing Rogan went up and then and then I had to go after how was it? I was trying to water for a little bit. I'll be honest with that was also a fucking Joe Rogan What do you want from me? I was at like we all went up at the end of like the four hour open mic So it was like the stakes were it was like, you know, it wasn't a full it wasn't like a fucking the stakes were a little different but Cool as shit. Yeah, cool. It's fucking couldn't be Fucking nicer. He's a nice guy hung out chopped it up. He was really cool and the most generous

And I mean he doesn't want me sharing how he's going to be paying the comics there But like no comedy club has ever paid comics in this way. It's like astronaut. It really is the mother ship I mean, it really is it's such a beautiful and we were telling him and we so like shout out to texas Uh, we were at uh, we were hanging out at mitzies as well, you know, it's the bar downstairs and they close it off for staff and and comics so it's like staff is chill too A lot of them are funny you shit too, man a couple of killers So we were there hanging out in the bar and it was just sitting there and I was like

It's one of those things where I'm like, ah, man, I haven't I'm like you could feel the fucking energy That's like not really in new york as much as it used to be after the pandemic. I'm like, oh man This is what it was like There's just like a vibe of everybody like we're fucking hanging. We're doing it. It's such a new fun energy Yeah, I was like day. I was what I was telling him like Dan you there's something Fucking tangible in the air. I mean think about like why would if you're a comic that's been you know Grinding in new york or LA for years and you're like a professional. You got a great set You're hilarious, but it just hasn't caught on for whatever reason. Why would you not go there?

I would I would be there. I was dude. We started zillowin properties the next morning Tony was giving us the hard sell. He's like you got kids. We're like now. He's gonna have to mr. Henchcliff The whole squad down there is fantastic. Yeah, no, they're they're just killing it, man That's great. I was an honor to honor to be there. Yeah, go check it out. Yeah Try to get tickets. That's the hardest ticket. That's harder than ammo. It really is a fucking experience, man It's an experience. Yeah, it's just great to see. I don't know. I mean like look I'm the biggest fan of joe obviously, but it's really cool to see somebody be put in that position Because oftentimes people get put in positions of power and then they just repeat the same things

Sure that the other people empowered it. Sure. So you see with music all the time It's like these artists go all these these these music deals are horrible and then they get offered a label And it's the same fucking music Well, I gotta I gotta get my money exactly Yeah, so it's like Connie was bitching and whining about his deal and then had a bunch of other musicians under the same fucking Yeah, sure. Anyway, so like he goes and does a club and then does the exact opposite thing Oh, it's like well, that's what I said when we were talking I was like, hey, man You've made it. I was like comedy is number one here. Like that's the only thing. I was like they don't have a kitchen

They don't have a kitchen. No, but I'm seeing in the club. I'm like you've made comedy. They're not selling chicken fingers There's no fucking whatever whatever I go. Yeah, comedy is number one. I was like comedy is put first or is number one He goes, yeah, it's the only thing that's the only thing that matters in this building is comedy and I'm like fuck No, that's great. Like no one's doing that. Yeah, did you guys get to go up in the big room too? We did. Yeah What you think about the big room? It's fucking sick, man You get to be performed like you get to Fill the room. I think that's important. I think that's something that new york doesn't really have anymore Especially now that like carolines is closed. I guess with gotham. You could kind of it's a bigger performative room

But yeah, it's like once you start doing these theaters. It's like you can't lean up on the brick wall Sure, and that's how we all grow up. Yeah. Yeah back against the wall. Yeah. It's just chilling I'm in and then you got 3 000 people in front of you in a theater. It's like, okay. This needs to be a different Type of show You gotta step forward. You gotta fucking shoulders up. Yeah. I mean we do when we did the grammar See that was a big thing of like, oh fuck. You gotta fill this stage and fill the room Step and step in the footlights, baby. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, that's on that man. Thank you Great three sold out. They were fucking fantastic. Shout out to the bozos in the home

Army of garbage came correct. It was surreal surreal moment. Beautiful. Um, but uh, you keep the customer receipt shows No, I don't never do you take it with you to leave it there? I don't I sign the customers it like whatever's on top I sign I can leave the blank one there. Yeah, I got jammed up one time guy put a $500 tip on a set of chicken fingers I'm sure I get jammed up over and over again. I do not look at my credit card. This is awful I don't look at my credit card statement everybody. You got a guy that does that you got to have a business manager But did they really look at it like how do they know I didn't buy that? Sure, what are they gonna call me they're gonna see three charges at new balancing about usually you only get two There's no way that they would know so he's not looking everybody that works with me has my credit card

Everybody hit works me his passwords to everything that I have like it's yeah, I don't really have that's great I don't know if I could ever give up that level of I mean Bert has the same thing Bert's like somebody who he rolls with his assistant Peter He was like, hey, you have my credit card in my cash. Yeah, that's great. You're just wandering around. Yeah, that's wild I mean, I don't know. I got great guys and I trust sure but also I think it's a little bit more like How do I Create more room for me to focus on things. I really want to force. Yeah. No totally totally true like stand up, man It's fun to get

Yeah, it's just fun to be back in it Like because I took a little time off after the special. Yeah, and like And writing a new new material is hard, man Yeah, it's tough It's the hardest thing to do because yeah, because you don't want to you don't want to make that mistake that I think a lot of us make which is like you just do different versions of the jokes. He already did sure It's like the same mechanism, but you're like, I'm at the hospital now. It's a pretty good idea I could squeeze one more out of this a fat guy on a boat instead of a plane

But that is that is what we what we do and it's like You're not reacting to like the change in life and I always wanted the the comedy to be like the most Pure and authentic as it could be like sure, you know, I look up the guys like patrice who was like Authentic to almost a fault. Yeah, of course. Yeah to a point But it's like it was just so beautiful so I went through a lot of life change, but I had that set for Three years because of covet so all these things change in my life, but the material

Yeah, you're still doing the the previous thing Yeah, so so like starting from scratch was like really fucking tough But I didn't want to just repeat the kind of same things I was doing and now kind of coming through and like It's starting to mold and work and just big being like addicted to it again Sure It goes through the swings of like, oh, it's working on this is great This is so much fun and then you go through two weeks of it's sucking you're like, I'm fucking absolutely But at least I'm at least the addiction is there. Of course if the addiction isn't there

You're like when it's going bad. You're like, what the fuck is going on? Like I feel horrible or whatever, but now it's just like this this game. I want to solve so Yeah, I saw you a few months ago a little while back and I was like, how's the how's it going with the new stuff? And you're like, man, I got 15 and you were so But you feel it's like you're like I think I got 15 still I got I got 13 now Don't work no more. Isn't it great. It's like it's so weird how this shit works

It's like you you you'll get 30 and that 30 becomes 10 Yeah, and then you get 40 and that 40 becomes 20. It's just you whittle away all the bullshit No, no, but I'm I don't know. I'm excited about it. I kind of want to go hit clubs again to be honest with you Like on the road let go yeah, because it's like what made what made the last hour And the hours before that great the pressure cooker of a club. Yeah, I think it's the grind I think it's doing five shows a weekend if you're in a theater and you're doing two show you're doing a show Friday show Saturday you keep it moving It's like, okay

That is a fraction of the amount of shows and it's like I think I need to I think I just need to But it's also a different they we were talking about it's a different you it's a different at the theater You're performative. So your writing process on stage is going to be a little different Oh, yeah, I think it's much harder to write on on stage in a theater. Oh, yeah Like because you're yeah, you're you're it's more outward rather than like you're not in the mix You're not like tangible with the audience. Also. The bombs are just loud Like hearing 5000 people not laugh Back of a theater just here

Yeah, what's this guy's deal? So it needs to be ready, you know what I mean? Like you can't be up there just fucking winging it in front of 5000 So, yeah, I like that 5000 theater. You gotta know book Yeah, yeah, let me try this one. They're like try this one. I got a babysitter you bastard. Yeah How dare you try some shit. It's gotta be ready, bro If you're in the theaters, it's gotta be ready. Of course, you know But yeah, yeah, I'm excited about it. That's sick. Yeah, we gotta go do some shows. Let's do it. So We should we should go do some shows

Yeah, we're running a little we're running out of time here. So let's get this. We have some patreon questions that we gotta get to Hits and cues. Yeah, uh, this one's from polly walls This is an og one But being a man of your stature and also of your wife a bit of a foodie Do you have any collection of condiment packets from any restaurants in your refrigerator at this time? This is from polly walnuts. Oh fuck. That's a good one Any fucking soy sauce I mean we donald's ketchup taco bell mild sauce. Honestly, we must I'm sure we do but

There are restaurants that I would like Love to get some packaged sauce from well. Yeah, what's in your that rowell steak sauce right there that rowell steak A place I want to you gotta go to rowell's boys talking row. No, you gotta go to rowell's boys Packaged of the nice. I want that package 100% I want that package. Absolutely great question. But uh, yeah, if I could get the vodka sauce from carbones, I'd be brushing my teeth Talk about the chick filet special sauce. We should do a nice little carbone dinner boys Yeah, you got I can't make that happen. We'll do this. I can't even get a reservation to gallagher steak Johnson, they got us waiting in the foyer like dickheads. I'm over. Tell me. Tell me. I gotta take my baseball

I'm there with the with the coke check girl. Oh my god. They've dick in my hand. How long you been working here? This guy we got No, we should have a nice little dinner out that'd be fun. Yeah, let's go. That's a youth thing Let's do it. I'll make it happen. I promise we got to do some shows together and we gotta do a nice little dinner out Actually, I mean that's one of my favorite parts of being on the road is uh, Just the dinner after a show. We know that we run in a problem because you do we do weekday So we go in Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday And if you're in Addison if you're at the Addison improv on a Wednesday

You get done at 10 30 after the meet and greet and everything. I ain't not an open. You're at a fucking you're lucky to get a hooters or something We're in a cheesecake factory. I'm walking through the menu like a fucking mind field, dude That is a fantastic restaurant cheesecake factory The consistency it's flown. I just recently got introduced to it. It's like two three years ago. It's magnificent The best and are the way right I don't know why it catches a bad rap It's these fucking just because it's by the mall or something la people who think they're better than fucking cheesecake Big seats big tables big personalities on a huge menu tons of options The interior of the place is great immaculate. It's like done by like a fucking corporate

You know tim dill is big on the corporate steakhouse like yeah, it's perfectly executed. Yes the menu is made in a board room There's 10 people thought about this not one fucking guy and you can go in salt lake or long island And it tastes exactly the same give it up. Give it up. Let's give it up Uh, all right. Let's see. Let's do uh, two more here. This one's from Isaac Is it garbage you keep the sticker on a fitted cap as a fashion statement? You have to do that back in the day back in the day. We did it. I thought that was more hood than garbage Uh, yeah, but I think it's uh, if you're flexed it depends. What sticker did you keep the shiny one? Yeah, you gotta keep the shiny one. Have you leave the fucking one with the size on the top?

That's a fucking come on. What are we doing? Everyone needs to know it's seven and a quarter seven and a quarter Will you wear your sneakers out of a sneaker store will you buy sneaks and wear them out? Back in the day I was probably just so excited to have the sneakers that I was like, yeah, I'm wearing these motherfuckers out a fresh pair of Kits. Yeah, but now no no you can't do that. Uh Um, uh, let's see. Uh, this one's from JJ. Have you or anyone in your family ever used a money clip? Yeah, I used to think the money clip is the coolest thing because there was that Nicholas Cage John Travolta movie face off or where he had a gold glock

Or a gold gun Desert eagle or something like that and the gold money clip And I thought that that money clip was the coolest fucking thing in the world. So I died to do money clip. That was a good movie Face off was all right. That was good Nicholas Cage underrated one of my favorite actors a bad rap, but he's fucking fantastic These people like gets it's like it becomes cool to hate and it's just like if you actually look at how he is as an actor He's one of the best brilliant. Yeah, he's had like a 25 year career leaving Las Vegas Fucking the whole nine yard national treasure. One of the most fun movies ever

A rainy day cut air was incredible. Come on guys got range You got a rainy day round the holidays throw on the family man with Nicholas cage. I don't think I've ever seen her home run It's a reverse of it's a wonderful life. Okay home run. Okay. Home run. Okay. Love Nick cage Shout out to Nick cage. We got to wrap it up gang. Okay, buddy. We love you so much Love you guys. So proud of what you guys have done. It's been incredible. We can't thank you enough my friend Dude, don't thank me man. You guys did this shit. All of you guys did this shit Appreciate it. And it's great that you guys have so much support and Yeah, I mean just awesome seeing what you guys built. So let's get a nice little dinner on the books

And then honestly, I mean that like let's let's uh I'll we're gonna have some shit, but let's do some shows. I think that'd be fun If you're doing we'll go a fucking open up for you. Shultz. Let's do it. Oh, yeah, that's what I was saying Hey, listen, I'm closing. I'm not dropping in Hey, get all your fans there off clothes, huh? Shultz he's hosting Shultz he do 10 and don't go over your time either. I got the big man back here May she do the birthdays. Don't forget the comment cards. All right

Buddy, what else you want the folks out there? No, you got anything? Hey, man Just you know youtube check all the stuff out man. Check out everything. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it Kippy shout out. Shultz. Thank you so much, man. We're all over the road tickets are going quick. Get those now We're announcing the second leg soon. Get I'm dropping in I'm coming. I'm popping into a show and I'm coming and I'm opening it up. I'm not following Shultz here Me either. He's gonna stop Toby. He's gonna be before Toby. He's gonna be before Toby All right, boys, buddy. Kippy. I love you. Toby. I love you. Shultz. We love you. Love you guys. We'll see you next week. Peace