Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Annie Lederman: Philly Girl

Episode Date: August 12, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with old Pal Annie Lederman - and this one BONKOS. Annie has some wild stories about her insane childhood that threw the boys through a loop. Thanks for listening. Love youse guys Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows MERCH:https://areyougarbage.bigcartel.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.HelixSleep.com/Garbage https://www.BuyRaycon.com/Garbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Gang, real quick, before we get the episode started, we got a hot new merch alert. Oh, yeah. Want everybody to know that if you want to get down on the cards, if you missed them, we got them back in stock, baby. Pick up a pack. And Kippy, what else we got?

Oh, baby, beer koozies. Drink with a little bit of class with your like. A gentleman beer koozie. Packs of three available only. Guys, go to rugarpage.bigcartel.com. The link will be in the description of the YouTube and the audio. Click it.

Limited run while supplies last. Yeah, get it. Play the game with your family. Get a hammer. It's a bit of a koozie. Summer ain't over yet, baby. Do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage. Yep. It's a little show.

We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they're good to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day down here in Antutti's basement. She wants me to make an announcement to the folks out there. She wants you to come check her out tonight at the open mic

at the Comedy Cabaret in Northeast Philadelphia. That's a great place. She's getting into the family business. She's working out five minutes. She's got a bit about you that kills. I don't know what to tell you. So please go and check her out. My co-host is coming at you.

Unamused from right next to me. Per usual. He's the CEO of Are You Garbage. He's really an international businessman, to be honest with you. He's kind of the head bozo around here. So show him a little respect. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan.

Hey, gang. Happy to be here. A little bit of business. As always, please make sure you subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And as you know, those numbers are Drew the Roof. Cookin' patreon.com.

I mean, what are we doing? That thing's fucking, that thing's really cooking over there. Love that money. And then we just dropped merch. Go get the merch. The link will be in the description. We've got beer koozies and the card game is back. Cards are back, baby.

Get them cards. Well, while they're hot, how about a quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, T-Bone McBuffin, Toby McMullen. What's up, dudes? T-Bone, welcome back, buddy. Good to see you, buddy. We love you.

And, gang, we could not be more excited. And I mean, could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. Everybody's been asking for. We're all excited. Pagging us and all of her comments. You got to get her on.

You got to get her on. She's over here from the left coast. We had to grab her while she was in town. She is a very funny, very successful standup comedian, actor, podcaster, and writer. She has appeared in Grand Theft Auto 5, The Long Dumb Road. Those who can't, this is not happening. Your mom's house, Gotham Comedy Live,

Money from Strangers, Adam Devine's house party, 15 episodes of Chelsea Lately. Last call with Carson Daly, Rose Battle at midnight, WTF with Mark Marin, lights out with David Spade. She's in the comedy store documentary. You've seen her on Good for You with Whitney Cummings, of course, the Joe Rogan experience. And she's one of the extremely funny co-hosts

of the amazing podcast Trash Tuesday. But the big question of everybody's mind today, here today. How many times was I raped? Who molested you to get you here? She's from a small town called Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and the devil knows their own. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one,

the only Annie Letterman. Hi guys, thank you for having me. Thanks for coming. Good to see you, buddy. I'm sorry, I was three and a half hours late. Sure, yeah. At one point I'm like, did we meet next Tuesday? What the fuck's going on?

I honestly, big time in this, I like it. No, no, no, I was like, I wonder for the thing I'm big time. But I mean a little, I guess. I just was like, I don't know how to get around New York anymore, I'm like, it's so embarrassing. I really like, I don't know how to do it. Also, I want to share the text that I get. Hey, I'm running late, I have to run to my hotel

to wash off my swamp ass. Then I'm heading up. I know, I honestly didn't know you would gain so much weight, I wouldn't have washed it off to make you feel a little solidarity. But I, you know, it was- First thing she said when she walked in. I was like, I'm just not sure.

It's hard to miss. I thought the black would slip me out a little bit. No, I, yeah, no, I don't know how to get around this town. It's tough, well that's changed too since you've been. Yeah, I mean, everything's all, the subway's fucked up, the taxis are fucked up. No, and I'm going like, what's, which direction? I was like, which direction's nine?

I was here for how many years? I was here four years the first time and one year the next time. So it's actually not that much. So you're saying you got geographically confused? I don't know where the hell I am. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what part of town I'm staying in.

Lay off the goofballs, what is this? Spring Street's near it? Is that Lower East Side? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Soho, I don't know something. I don't know exactly where you are, soho, Lower East Side. Where are you staying, why you're in town, what area? I think Soho.

We just said that. Oh, you did, is that what you were talking about? I apologize. I was like, do you want the room number? Jesus. Are you doing a hotel or Airbnb? I'm doing a hotel. You know what I realized?

I don't want Airbnb. I don't want to do it. I don't want to be in your shit. I don't know. You have to meet up with the person. You got to make sure everything. It's, yeah, it can be a little wacky. I used to be a big Airbnb guy, but anymore,

now that we go on the road, the hotels are better. I don't want to see anyone's shit. I want someone to come in, make my bed if I want it. I mean, I don't actually like them coming in because I have ADD and then I always like, if I can't find my iPad, I don't want to like accuse someone of it, you know what I mean? I never know.

I could easily have just like slipped it somewhere in between the bed that I'll never find it. Tackling some maid in the lobby. I just never want to falsely accuse someone, so I just say, stay out. But at my last, I was just in Arizona and Phoenix and they didn't have a do not disturb. What?

They didn't, I just couldn't find one. I could have just asked for one, but I kept forgetting. I would have wrote it on the door. No, I should have. I was thinking about in lipstick or something. Stay out, bitch. Put it down in the head and blood. I went out to lunch with my aunt,

both my aunts live out there and I, then neither of them talk to each other, very awkward. She said aunts, by the way. Yeah, that's just weird. Oh, I know. You go aunt? I say orange now too. I don't say orange.

I don't know. Orange. Instead of orange. Say water. Water. Wow. I don't know what's going on. You've changed.

I mean, if I come back here longer. She's so LA. You need to get down to South Philly. I know. Get straightened out. Get a cheesesteak at your head on rent. There's rumors I might be doing a Thanksgiving show there, but I don't know.

Really? Nothing's set in stone. But it would be fun. That would be a banger. Interesting. What is the origin story of Annie Letterman? Lay it on me. I believe you're from Cheltenham.

I'm from Cheltenham. So lay it on us. Give us the whole rundown. All right, I'm a twin. What? Yes. Also, wait, before we do this before I forget. Oh, I don't like this.

Come to fucking Carolines this weekend. Please, God, come to fucking Carolines this weekend. Before I forget. Carolines. It's out there, baby. Okay. All right, I have a twin brother, Max. Okay.

His name is actually, we were Anne and Matthew, is how we were born. But we're Annie and Max now. Why, is that his nickname? He, well, he got to change legally. He got called Mad Max in kindergarten. And then he just, I remember exactly where we were when it happened.

We were in the after school program at our Quaker school. There's a lot to talk about. Yes. And Germantown, we went, or no, we went to Green Street Friends School across from Germantown Friends. Okay. In Germantown.

That's a mix. You might have a little, might be, might be a surprise over there. Of course you said mix. And that is Germantown where the families were mixed. Yeah, it's a, yeah. Germantown is a very specific part of it. It's very, very like, yeah.

It's goofball. I never grew up. Your parents are either two lesbians, one's black, one's white. But you are like, you are mixed up there. You are not a traditional looking family. Yeah. In Germantown.

It's homogenized. But they had, okay, so at our elementary school, there was this house right next to it that these like really white trash people lived in. Like when I say white trash, like there was a pile of trash and the kids would emerge and you couldn't tell. It was like moving trash, like dirty.

You know, kids are just like so dirty, like that deliverance. Like they wake up in the morning and put a dirty T-shirt on. Yeah, and they didn't go to school. They were like always there. So we would just be like going like from one class to the other walking to the playground

and then these like little like dirty white kids would just be like there. Smoking cigs and stuff. And once my brother left his bag, he like went inside. We just all have ADD. He left his bag and went inside to pee or something and they, someone stole his bag and he couldn't find it. And then he saw it like dumped out in their yard.

He stole his bag. Rummage throw it. I don't know what the hell you're talking about but you bring it out of here right now. Ain't no one got your bag here. But we were that family. I realized we were that family on our street. Like we were like the trashy family on the block.

Like we didn't have trash in the backyard or anything but we were garbage. Like we were like the loud door slamming. Our dog, we never walked our dog. Our dog would just go out. And then so the neighbors. You had a loose dog policy growing up. To the point where when people

would bring the dog back to be nice, we'd be like, we let her out. He was going for a walk. Someone let pinkie out. Like someone would just go let her out. And then she would go, neighbors hated it cause she would like shit in their stuff. I would be right in like the township and stuff.

Yeah, but it was my family just, and I realized that's literally how they raised us. They raised us the same way like the dog. They're just like, let him out. They'll come back when they're hungry. That's nuts. And that's why I'm a comedian. Break this down for me.

What did your dad do? What did your mom do? My dad worked at the, he was a treasurer at the University of Pennsylvania. Okay, so there's some money involved. There's some money involved. But my mom had a bunch of different jobs. So my mom like never really like,

she was not a stay at home mom. She was like a sort of around mom. Like she would do like, she just like one job she had was she worked at WXPN, the radio station, the Penn radio station. DJ? No, she was, she did like their newsletter. Cause she would interview different acts and stuff.

But she didn't really listen to music. So that was what we needed. So she could do whatever she wanted. Your dad was bringing in the coin. My dad was bringing in the coin. We had a nice house. Nice house. You were the trashy ones in the neighborhood.

Here's the thing, my dad came from a trashy, he was from Long Island. That's what it is. Yeah, so my dad, I would say, I would say my dad's like, my mom's from like a nice area in upstate New York and my dad popped out of a tuna can. So that's like where we're at.

But my dad's just really smart. Yeah, how'd he get to work in the treasury at Penn? So my dad, he's just incredibly smart. He's got ADD. He doesn't get his work done. He's defiant. He's like, you know. Where'd he go to school?

He went to RISD first, Rhode Island. School of design? No, no, no, not RISD. What's the one that's the engineering school? MIT? No. No, but with an R. Rhode Island School of Engineering?

No, it's not Rhode Island. Engineering, some engineering. Not RISD, fucking. I don't know. RISD, Rhode Island School of Design is RISD. No, that's not what I mean. But it's, he went to Rensselaer Polytechnical Institute. What?

Yeah, that's it. Damn, RPI. RPI. RPI. So he went to RPI. This sounds CHI-ish. I don't know. But it's so funny.

Because I was asking him, because he's not like, he's not an engineer. Like an engineer's brain, engineers are very specific. My dad was like, Yes, yes, yes. He's a money guy. It's funny charming like all over the place, yeah.

Well, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I think he charmed his way into this job. Like he shouldn't have had this job. He's, he's- Was he there for a long time? He was there for a long time, but he got to retire early,

which I don't know if that's good or bad. Yeah. Get out, sir. We'll give you money, get out. Hey, Letterman, kick rocks, will you? They used to live in that house, sir, if they moved on. They moved there and win more now.

I lived on Glenview Avenue. 130 Glenview Avenue. Sounds nice. Stop it. It was beautiful. Glenview Ave sounds really nice. We lived right behind T.W. Park. So we had a park right near us.

Okay. It was really, it was a nice- So it was a good upbringing. We had a beautiful place here. Would your pop take care of the property? Would he cut the grass and shit like that? No, no, no, no. You had someone doing that.

No, but next door we had the Berks, which were, there were three girls, or no, two girls and like four boys, I think. So they had six kids. Your age around- Catholic, no. Well, Matt was, the youngest was in between my brother's ages.

And I don't, I think they shared him. But my twin brother, I have an older brother who's three years older. So Matt was like somewhere in between. He was like a year older. I don't remember if he was Timmy's friend or Max's friend. But then it went up and it was like a bunch of hot Catholic boys that played sports.

They looked good. They're all like coaches now, dads. Like they're all doing good. But the oldest one, Jimmy, lived at home and was the guy that did all the lawns in the neighborhood. Oh, in the neighborhood. It was a local operation. That's pretty good.

All right. So you weren't, it's not like the weeds were overgrown in there. No, no, no, we looked fine. But I'm just saying they like through parties, like they, you know, like they let us have like kegs and stuff like we are that type of trash. Loud screaming.

Well, your parents would let you throw kegs. Yeah. Underage. Really? Well, yeah. Yeah. Nice. That's always a good time.

Talk about rolling the dice. I mean, it's not the best way to raise a kid, but it's a good fucking time. Let's just say, I got molested a lot. They let me, I got molested quite a few times, but it, but it worked out. I'm a comedian. Yeah.

It was good. Wouldn't, I wouldn't trade any of the jizz in. I would never give that jizz back. Huh. Okay. All right. So, okay. So twin brother, Max was, okay. So Max came out first.

I came out feet first afterwards. Like picked his ass out. Jesus. You came out feet first. I came out feet first. Then I was in an incubator, which I think could be. Some of the traumas. This girl's boncos, dude.

Some of the traumas. I'm telling you, she's a twin. She came out reversed in an incubator. I think I got, I'm always like, maybe I got molested that like the, I was like a token to Durkin. I thought they spin you if you're coming out feet first. Don't they spin you around?

I don't think they could. No, they pulled my ass out like, and then I, you know, I got some of the pussy juice in there. And then I had to be in an incubator. My dad said he felt guilty cause I was like, all healthy in the ICU and all the other babies. All premium.

Like see through. You're just warming up. I was like, my skin's actually matte. You can't see the inside. I'm just getting a base going. And you have one older brother. How many years older is he? He's like two and a half years.

All right. So you guys were all in high school together. Yeah. But I went to Krefeld. Okay. I went to the juvenile delinquent school. You did. Wait, you went, why?

We'll get to this. Back it up a little bit. Cause my parents are idiots. Well, when we left you, you were a nice friend school. I went to the Green Street friend school. I mean, I was like, That's a private school.

They had to pay for that. Yeah, they paid for that. Okay. And my school, so my teacher, I definitely, I was like good at heart, but I had some, I did have some emotional problems.

I was an angry kid. My dad was angry. I learned to be angry for my dad. Sure. So I would get like, I didn't learn to like manage my emotions until like probably last year. Sometimes.

I'm still working on it. A little bit sometimes. But, Yeah, we're both crazy. Like I wasn't, I wasn't like a bad kid, but I did like throw my glasses case at my teacher's head once.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's a bad kid. In the friend school. But not like, I wasn't like, The case? Then what defines a fucking bad kid in your head? Knocking over banks and shit.

But it was, it was more out of like, he told me to relax. Like it was a trigger moment, you know, rather than like, People hate that when you tell them to relax. It really drove me crazy. You tell me to relax.

I will lose it. That teacher came to see me when I did a punchline. Really? Yeah. Do you remember you throwing the glasses at him? Yeah. I don't think that's something you forget. Wait, is this grade school?

This was fifth grade. A grade school teacher came. He's my only good teacher, dude. I'm like, thank you for not diddling me. I really appreciate that. He's a good guy. He married my first grade teacher, Cindy. We called our teachers by their first names

and at Quaker School. That always free. Which by the way, Quaker School, it's fine. When I went to my high school and was at Juvenile, and we called them by their first names, that was literally like. Well, yeah, you did that as like,

you guys looked at each other as like peers. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, I didn't like that. And let's just say they peered at us. All right, so did you get kicked out of this friend school? I did not get kicked out of the friend school. We ended up going to-

But come to high school. We left in sixth grade. We went to Cedar Brook, or to E.P., to Elkins Park, and then to Cedar Brook. We went to the public school. So you were then in the public school? We did public school for a couple years.

I was smoking cigarettes. I was being a little bit bad, right? We were talking seventh, eighth grade, you're smoking cigs? Yeah, smoking cigs. We're talking Newport, we're talking Marble Lights, P-Funks. What are we doing here?

Newport Lights. Really? Newport Lights. Cute, right? Holy, that's pretty cute. Isn't that cute? I've never even heard of anybody smoking a Newport Light.

I was like, I'll dip my toe. I just got turned on a little bit. Newport Lights. I'll dip my toe. Let's fucking hang. Newport Lights, but yeah, no, I, yeah. So I was doing a little bit of that, and I was getting into some trouble.

You know, I had a friend who, I mean, they're all like diagnosed bipolar now, like all my friends are all like, they got the diagnosis now, but they were fine. What'd you get in trouble for? So they got in trouble. They were coming to pick me up. So we met these dudes, we would sneak out of her house.

She lived in- Wait, what, pick you up? She moves quick this one. How many stories? I'll have the hair hold on. So now, okay, so now I'm in like, I skipped eighth grade. I'm trying to think of when this was.

Why did you skip eighth grade? Because I went to the juvenile delinquent school and they don't, it wasn't a real school. They were just like, whatever is going to get her horny enough to fuck us. No, they, I just, they had an upper school and a middle, they had a middle, a lower school and an upper school.

Okay. And so they started at like sixth grade, I think, and they went up to- So for your eighth grade, you should have been in the school you were in, but you went to the- But I ended up going to the school. I still don't get why you went to that school.

I just didn't really like, I didn't like, it was like the way, it was like Winkoad Academy. It was like, it was a, an alternative school was for like the kids that get kicked out. Or- They give you like, they give you like sick breaks in those schools. Yeah, but you would never kick out of a school.

I did have sick breaks. I never got kicked out of a school. So your parents were just like, where can I- They were like, this thing seems fun. Geez, that's fun. I was like pillows instead of chairs. This is awesome.

Oh, man. You're fucked up. I was like- Nobody's got two laces on. I was 14. Check your belt at the door. I was 14, they sent me there. But I don't know if I'd been getting in trouble

like the summer before that or after I can't remember. But I started to be really bad once I was hanging out with the true young criminals. Now you didn't stay there overnight. You would go back and forth from home. No, I didn't stay there overnight. But I did. There was a teacher that convinced my parents

to let me stay overnight, which is why I'm at- What? You had a teacher convince- I had my teachers convince my parents that when I was 16 to stay over there, 15, I can't remember. 15 or 16. What?

And it did end up in court, guys. What? Yes, I got Jackson Pollocked on my leg by my art teacher. God. Holy shit. Damn it. Took him to court. Nice.

Got him like probate. I mean, nothing happened. Yeah, it's so bad. It's like so like- It's so bonkers. What about the civil side? What's the deal? What? I don't know.

The civil suit, nothing. You didn't show them up? No, my parents like- I forgive my parents, but my parents- So this is serious shit here. I know, this was so fucking long ago too. It's like, you know, and your brain doesn't like always remember everything, you know?

Sure. Of course, of course. I came to consciousness at like 28. I, yeah, I'm just figuring it out. I'm like, I'm doing like hypnosis to try to like reprogram a lot of stuff. Holy shit, that's fucking heavy. So, yeah, so I go, I went to court and then-

Is this in high, is this- This was in high school. So this was real time. Did they yank you out of there once this incident happened? Uh-uh. Did you go home and say, hey, this- I graduated soon after that.

Apparently I didn't need many prerequisites, one say. How old are you graduating? I graduated when I was 16, yeah. Did you then go to the rest of high school? No, no, I graduated high school at 16. And then I went to, yeah, I took a year off and then I went to college. At this school, it doesn't make sense.

This timeline is all over the- None of this is making sense. It's not a real school, but my parents like did some settlement. I gotta say, I gotta say, I'm looking at the website, they're leaving out some testimonials. Where does your brother go to high school? No, they are probably sweating me so hard right now.

Where does your brother go to high school? My brother went to Cheltenham. My brother's went to public school. But your parents for some reason sent you to this school? Yeah, I think I was like PMSing, they didn't understand what's going on. They're like, our daughter's crazy. She's not like our sons.

Yeah. But so I ended up going, I mean, everything was fucking. But, okay. No, ask questions. Yeah, what was some of the- I will jump some stories. We're all over the place. All right, I have ADD.

It's great. What were some of the crimes you were committing, or like the mischief you were getting into? You said you had these bad friends that came to pick you up. Well, we were like steel cars. Oh, that was like- Cars. Come on.

But like the only thing, I was always really, my friends were bad. My friends were like- I was the lookout. Why? You know, my friends were really bad, but I would like, we would steal, like we stole our friend Hadley's car.

Like it wasn't like- Sure. Are these kids- You were knocking over a dealership. Are these kids from your neighborhood? No, they're from all over. Okay. All over Cheltenham area.

No, they're all over the city. That's bad when you're mixing with that many different neighborhoods. They're all over different places. Everyone lives somewhere else. That's bad. Everybody should stay in their own school district. John Farley.

He used to pick me up in- Beep that. He lived in my neighborhood. I wonder where he's at. We go back to Philly. I don't want John Farley coming at them. But John Farley's cool. I wonder where he's at.

I want to leave his name in. He used to pick you up what? He used to pick me up in his Jeep. And he would blast like ICP. But he, so he lived in my neighborhood-ish and he would pick me up, but it wasn't- What kind of Jeep are we talking? Cherokee, Grand Cherokee, Wrangler?

No, we had like the one with no doors. He had the big tires. You're blasting ICP. You're not a green. He was getting pulled over on the way to school for fucking these bounces and being too loud. It was fun. Jesus, god damn.

What was that song? Start with your dick? What was that song? I don't know. I don't think I've ever listened to you. I'm not familiar with their catalogs. I don't know if that made the greatest hits. Gang, you don't want to spend time

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Tell a friend buyraycon.com slash garbage. Now back to the show. So you graduate 16. Your brother's still in high school. Then what'd you do? What do you do at 16? I did a trip to Central America. By yourself?

No, I went with a group of people. And we did group of friends? Like an organization or like? Yeah, it was like, I don't know where my parents found this. Was it the art teacher, was it? The fact I wasn't. No, the art teacher was like, I don't know what happened to him in between that.

But I did talk about this on Mark Marin's podcast. Sorry, I have so many questions. Where did you sleep at the school? Was there a place to sleep? No, their house. Oh my god. Their house, they set up a room for me and my friend to stay there so we could get ready for college.

They got us ready for parts of our house. Jesus Christ. Let's just say they got us ready for community college. Monko. That's fucking crazy, man. Wow, OK. I forgive my parents. I forgive my parents.

I forgive my parents. They didn't know. They didn't know. How did they not know? I don't fucking know. Sure. No, but it was crazy. It was like, they were like.

How many times a week do you floss? That's what I'm saying. That's what I was coming to fucking play with. I do floss a lot now. Still blood, not enough. Really? Yeah. It's tough.

Man, look at onion this kind of place. She's all over the place. Letterman's all over the road. You went down to South America for a year. Central America. No, I went for like three months. And then I did like a thing in Hawaii, too, where I worked with dolphins.

For real? They found some like, it was called Leap Now. This is when you're a minor. This is crazy. Which is so insane. I know I could have been sold into sex trafficking so easily. They also sent me to Jersey City for like a modeling agency when I was 15.

Who did this? My parents. And I almost, like I was getting chased by a six foot eight drag queen named Mahogany for my life. Like I was running. I was like, oh, that cops. I was like hiding behind cars and shit. Holy.

I've run for my life a lot. What the fuck? This makes me sad. I don't like that. Don't be sad. Look at me now. You're fantastic. This is why you got to keep your dog on a leash.

Yeah, this is what happened to lose dog people. This is for real. I'm mad at your parents. No, don't be mad. What's the thing in Central America? I like how your parents sent you a modeling thing in Jersey City, like not even New York. It wasn't even New York.

They're like, listen, we can't be paying a toll for the tunnel. She's OK in Jersey City. You're going to start in Delaware and work your way up. You know what it is? They're just really trusting. So people can lie to their face really easy and be like, we'll take great care of everyone. They're like, great.

Was Central America OK? It was great. It was fun. All right. Parents weren't there. What about Hawaii? Hawaii was good. Hawaii I was there for a month.

Trained the dolphins. That was really fun. And then you come back. Now you're what? I come back. I'm 17. I start working with kids with special needs. That's why I started working at a summer camp.

Nice. OK. You're living at home? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. I'm living at home. And then I went to. And then after that summer, when I worked at Easter Seals,

I then went to the college of Santa Fe in New Mexico. All right. Now we go. Now we're getting to some normal ground. We're coming out of a four-year institution. It took us to college to get something to relate on. Well, the college has now, the college has since been gone out of business.

Of course it has. Then it came back. Of course, Annie. OK, then it came back. So the college ran out of business. Wait, college just can dissolve and then come back? Then it came back. A college can't take a few semesters off to find itself.

It took a sabbatical. Holy shit. So, OK, so the college, so the college was the college of Santa Fe when I went to it. OK. Then I had all these incompletes because I never did my work. I was still cutting mass college. And you graduated at 16.

Yeah, I wanted to ask you, what was your GPA though? Did this school even have one? The school? No. I don't think they're great. I honestly don't think they do. How many years are you actually at that high school? At the high school?

It wasn't four. Two? What the fuck? Two or three. This was happening in my backyard. I don't like this. Dude, I've gotten so many people in trouble though. I'm good.

I'm good at getting people in trouble. Jesus Christ. Not in like a Me Too way, in like a real get it done way. I can tell you, you said that things ended in court. That's pretty heavy. But then he didn't really, not much happened because also, here's where the real betrayal, I mean, the betrayal keeps going.

His lawyer was my softball coach. The teacher was my softball coach. That seems like a conflict of interest. I know, it's not fucked up. But so then he got off because he was like, You weren't still on the team, were you? No. I quit.

I broke my foot and stopped doing sports and started smoking cigarettes instead. But like, you were at the age where you would have been on the softball team, right? I was in softball in middle school. And then, and I played on the boys baseball team to get my mom's attention. Played on the boys baseball team.

Wait, your mom was the boys baseball team coach? Yeah. What the fuck is going on here? And then my mom traded me. Are you making this up? No, she traded me to a different team, too. And that's sad. I was like, mom, hang out with me.

And she was like, get out, bitch. She was like, I'm the only girl on this team. My mom was like, because she'd always, when I was growing up, my mom was like, my mom's a doctor. And she's saying this like it's like, your mom was the head coach of the baseball team? She was the president of the little league for a little bit,

Old York Red Little League. She's got a lot to prove. Did your college change its name to the Santa Fe University of Art and Design? And then it went out of business again. It did in 2018. Yep. It sure did.

Now it's called Chili's. No. Then it burned down. Then the barracks burned down. The barracks? Yeah, there were barracks. They're called don't. No, that's where like the psychology department was

like in old barracks. And the cafeteria was in the morgue, the old morgue. That's not a school. This is the plot of that movie accepted. I don't know what Justin Long. I don't know if you've ever seen it. We're hostile. Have you seen that?

Yeah, it's a little more. Yeah, a little more hostile. No, College of Santa Fe was actually a great school. And the teachers were. I don't know anything about it, any, but it was not. The teachers were like so good, but there was a president that embezzled. This guy at Lombardi embezzled money.

What did you think it was Ivy League? The fucking looking at me for it. It was a liberal arts school. The barracks burned down. Did you not hear that? I went there for. The barracks burned down. The barracks.

I like that school, though. I think I have got, I got good memories of that school. Frank Harrell, my old professor. Did you play baseball there? I didn't have sports. We didn't even have to take math. Did you take the SATs? I did.

I took them untimed with no one watching me in my advisor's office on a couch, taking naps and shit. OK, and what'd you get? 11 something? That's not bad. That's good. For having seemingly zero education. No, I have a seventh grade.

I have a seventh grade. Peter Pan High School. This is crazy. I mean, we sat down with over 100 people in insane backstories. This is nuts. This should have been stopped at someplace. Wait, can I tell you, though?

Right? State shoes. No, I did stop it. I stopped it myself. But here's the thing that's so funny. I didn't realize until like three years ago that everyone didn't have this type of story. Your brothers didn't even have this story.

I know, it's true. You didn't even look down the hallway. Where did your brother go to school? Let's use that as a reminder. Where did they go to college? Where'd your twin go? He went to, what is it called? It's in Boston, northeastern.

OK. You want to know my twin brothers? What do you do for a living now? He is, look up Max Letterman, L-E-D-E-R-Man. He is a two-time Emmy award-winning sports television producer. Look at that. There you go.

Shout out to Max. Oh my god, if you Google him, I come up. Yeah, is that him, right? Wow, Max Letterman, yeah. There you go. Yeah. Good looking guy. Good looking kid.

It's so funny that if you Google him as my brother, I come up. People think we're, if you Google a husband, too. Oh, really? He comes up. Well, because I did the Eat Out symbol in a picture with him thinking it was funny, and now everyone thinks I'm dating him.

We also accidentally got, like, engagement photos. Damn, that was a fucking roll of thunder. What is that? Is that thunder? That was thunder. Wait, you got engagement photos with your brother? Accidentally, because I was working. That doesn't happen accidentally.

I lived in Santa Fe, so I lived in Santa Fe for eight years. And one of my jobs, I had a lot of jobs there. I was a. So you stayed. I can't wait to hear this resume. No, you're going to like it. So you stayed. When you got out there, you stayed.

Well, I didn't graduate. I took a long time to graduate. Eric's burnt down. I finally graduated. She lost all of her stuff. We had to wait for the wood shipment to put up. Eric's burnt down. Drywall's not cheap.

All of my credits were in that barrack. Wouldn't that be funny? I was like, you're ungraduated. No, I did eventually graduate. But I had all these incompletes. Because I learned from my dad how to, like, you work the system. I never did any of my work. But my teachers always really liked me.

But they'd be like, we'll give you an incomplete. Finish us later. And so I had all these. Who's floating this bill, by the way? Your parents? I had a grandfather. My mom's father. No, my mom.

No, it was expensive. Really? My mom's father, when he died, he had a lot of money. So he left us college money. He worked something in finance in New York, in the city. But he left us like, I think he left us like, I don't know how much it was. But it was enough to cover, like, seven of the years.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it was enough to cover, but I wasn't in it fully. I wasn't in it fully. You know, like, I was, like, waitressing bartending and stuff. And, like, I would take, like, semesters off. I got you. I was drinking a lot. I didn't quit drinking until I was 20.

Or I did quit drinking at 25. I don't know why I'm looking at you like you don't drink. Sure. Maybe someday soon. But, yeah, no, my, so this is what I did in Santa Fe. I was a nanny, a go-go dancer, a... Get the check, please. I did, like, a special, I was, like, a special,

well, because I wasn't, like, a stripper. Yeah, no, I wasn't, the way that job happened was... Was it like burlesque? No, no, it was, so there was one club in Santa Fe that was called SWIG. It was owned by these two gay guys, a couple. So it was, like, a tiny bit of a gay club, but not really, because it was the only club in Santa Fe.

Gotcha. So it was, like, I think maybe if there had been another club, they would have made it, like, fully gay, but... But it was, they had three podiums down in the basement area, and they would have, like, me. I just was there drunk one night, and I was friends with the manager. And she was, like...

She was, like, I'll give you 50 bucks to dance. And I was, like, okay, and I was drunk. I'm not even, like, a confident dancer in any way, but I was wasted, so I was, like, sure. Still in the robot? Yeah, I was, like, up there doing everything I could. And then she was, like, hey, they want to hire you for 50 bucks an hour to come back and do this,

like, every Saturday. And I'm, like, 50 bucks an hour is great, right? So I'm, like, that's awesome. So I would just wear, like, knee-high boots and, like, a short skirt and, like, body top, and I would just, like, be up there. But I didn't have rhythm or anything, so people would come up and try to dance.

I couldn't, like, dance with other. Like, it's, like, this is, like, it was a very, like, tense. Like, if anything happened, I was thrown off my rhythm. Nobody look at me. So it would be the podium, but usually there was, like, usually, like, a gay guy or there was a drag queen brandy that would come in. Okay.

And then they hired, like, a real stripper and then me. She was a bad dancer, but she had, like, big, fake tits and wore pasties and would be getting tips and her G-string and stuff. And I was, like, that made it weird for me. I, like, stopped working there because I was, like, I don't want them touching me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just sort of to, like, get other people to dance, but it was a weird, I remember being wasted and, like, going into the owner's office and being, like, they're objectifying me. And he was, like, well, yeah. And he's, like, also, he's, like, you don't have to come here. Like, we don't care if you come back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, like, we're not, we don't need you to, like, but I would always be, like, crying. I had, like, these, um, the little, like, chicken cutlet things to make me look like I had boobs. And I'd be sweating and they'd be, like, sliding up. And I would just, like, my knees hurt. I, like, wasn't good at dancing.

I was, like, crying. Yeah, I was, like, I'd fall off the podium. She got her elbow wrapped. I really was. I was, like, attracted. You got those shots in your knees. No, I didn't have health insurance. He's got an orange slice.

Hey, who's the girl wearing batting gloves, huh? No, but I really, honestly, this is very accurate. Trying to dance in Tim's. But I was just crying and, oh my God. It was funny, though. What other jobs? OK, I was, I was a nanny while I was a go-go dancer, so there was a lot of glitter in my life.

And then I would, like, be, I would just, I would show up to their house just with, like, just a warm, like, day, yeah, just so ridiculous. I was an in-keeper at a bed and breakfast. I was a bartender, a waitress, and what else did I do there? I worked with the special ed at the high school for a little bit. That's nice.

That's good. What kind of establishments did you? You just got to go, yeah. I let, listen, if you've got a disability, I'm into it. Come to my shows at Caroline's. My audience, I'm manifesting, like, this audience. People are missing limbs. Like, I signed some guys Cherokee out of me

whole the other day. No, it's so awesome. I'm like, bring your nub up here, dude. I got a Sharpie. Really? Oh, I love it. Wow. It's my biggest fear.

What? Having the voice box thing. Oh, shit. I thought you were saying being around people with it. Is that that sad? I lose my appetite. You have another hole to try to fuck, you know? Try to get flexible enough to stick your dick in.

That ain't going to happen. But I had a lot of jobs there, is all I'm saying. But anyway, so I don't know where am I at with the college at Santa Fe. It was a good school. Bunch of weird jobs. Bunch of weird jobs. Where did you, what were the restaurants you would bar

tender and waitress in? Would it be like dive bars? Or would it be like Applebee's? Popular dive bars. I worked at this place called The Cowgirl. Cool places. Yeah, good places, cool places. I'm not going to get your order right,

but I'm going to be fun. You're going to like me. You're going to tip me while we're going to have a good experience, you know what I mean? But I can't have the pressure of memorizing specials, or you thinking you're going to get the right temperature of your steak. You know what I mean?

Like, it's going to be fun. We're going to be drinking, we're going to be doing shots. It's going to be a good time. It was that type of thing. OK, I like it. But I used to make a lot. I remember I used to always go, I'd be like, I would say, I would slap the bill down, and I'd be like,

anything less than 50% is an insult, and that would give me 50% a lot of times. Really? Yeah. They liked me, though. I'm telling you. They're moving in chakeride. I'm telling you.

I'm playing fire on rules. I get it. Like, when I'm going to do a show in Santa Fe, and it's going to fucking sell out hard, because I made like a lot of friends. I was always collecting people. And then when I lived in New York, I used to produce shows, and I had my mailing list was like so long.

I wish I still had it, because I want those people to come out and fucking see me. I want them to come see me at Caroline's, because they all used to come see me just do shows at the restaurant. Wherever, yeah. What restaurant? It was called Life Cafe.

It went out of business. Everything I touch disappears. This is the last episode of the podcast. I know, sorry. We had a good run. Chelsea Lately, that got canceled after I was on it. Let me ask you, let's give it a little already. Sure, let's let a couple of games here.

A couple of questions. I'd like to know a couple of things about now. Now, where do you live? You have an apartment. You have a house. What's the situation now? I have an apartment. You're doing pretty well.

I'm doing great. Well, this is new, because three years ago or four years ago, I remember standing outside the comedy store. I'm looking at Rogan's 14th car. I am living out of my car for the second time. I'm like, ugh. What kind of car? I had a Prius, like one of those little ones.

You were legit living out of it. Yes, legit. Sleeping in it some night, or like that, like when I didn't call people in time. Anyway, so I'm looking at, and I just go through a breakup, so this was my second time being in the car. And then my friend Mike O'Dare let me stay with him.

But it was just like. This was three years ago? Uh-huh. Damn. And so when I go through a breakup, I go, you can have it all by, I'm like, take it. See ya. I'm out.

I usually move to the other coast, but I was down to the New York. I was like, sorry, Mark, we're out. The Prius wasn't going to make it. There wasn't enough charging stations. I like to have a car to sleep in if I need to. But so I was out in the parking lot with Joe, and I was like, how is it that you have like 13 cars

that I'm living in mine? And he's like, you live in your car? And he's like, oh my god. And he just like pulled out. This makes him sound like a dick, but it was actually really funny. But he pulled out like a wad of hundreds. And he was like, I just want you to know

this means nothing to me. He was like hand me $300. And there was like a run of like two or three months where every time you'd see me, he'd just come high five me hundreds. That's awesome. I knew he was paying my fucking rent. But he was also would laugh in my face

and I'd be like, this is the funniest bit. Let's keep this up. This is so funny. This is a great bit, this is a great bit. But it was great. And then he stopped doing it, which was good too, because I was like, I don't want like handouts and stuff like that.

And so, but he was like, start a podcast, come on, we'll promote it, all that stuff. He's like, you should not be the shit in your car. But it was like, I realized over the pandemic, over the break, spring break, it was so fun. 2020. Santa Fe, you. It was really, honestly, this pandemic was not bad.

Didn't your podcast kind of take off? We blew up in the pandemic. Me too, me too. I felt bad because like we've said it before, but like people were like, I don't know what we're gonna do with me while we're like, we're making more money than we've ever made our entire life. I literally learned to survive in that pandemic for real.

But so, I started, I have a solo podcast that I'm bringing back, but I stopped doing it when I started doing Trash Tuesday, because it was like, we moved, but we moved apartments. But so I was living in the pandemic. I finally had found an apartment for 1600 bucks. It was a one bedroom. And I was like, using my spot money

from the comedy store to pay for it and just like really, really, really scraping by. And then I started dating my boyfriend right before the COVID hit. And I was just, he's 11 years younger than me. He worked at the comedy store. He was like, worked in the basement, Basement Todd. And I was just like trying to hook up with him.

But he's from Jersey. He's just like, it was just a little bit, things were like kinda, it just, he was a match, but I was like, he's so fucking, what am I gonna do with this kid? And so I was gonna just dump the shit. I mean, I was like, dude, I'll hook up with you a couple of times and then you gotta get the fuck out of here.

And then the pandemic hit. Like it was like a month before that we were hooking up and I was like, if you leave, I'll die. And then so now, I was like, what are you gonna do? You need me. But then he blew up in the pandemic too. Basement Todd, shut out. He started his own business.

And now he's like working as an editor or a story producer on a Netflix show. And he's editing. He does all Whitney's clips and stuff. Fantastic, right? Yeah, he's just killing it. But it was your apartment. I had the apartment and then he moved in.

So then I was like, all right, at least I have someone paying half the rent. And then they started, so they sold the building right before the pandemic to a big company. And the big company got rid of, I had a creepy landlord that used to try to kiss me on the mouth and stuff.

Fucking annoying. He was, I have a joke about it. I have a joke about it, but he used to like, You're a creep magnet, this one. No, I really am. You know what they call it, being hot. Hot with a list of boundaries. Take that, you uglies out there.

Well, you know what it is? You know what it is? I was trying to kiss you on the mouth. Nobody told me I was cute, but I was cute. So I didn't know. So I was wandering around, not realizing that I was attractive to people, thinking I was ugly and like a boy.

And then I was like, wow. You were on the baseball team. I'm like, do all boys get poked this much? Wow. But anyway, yeah, so. You're in a place now. So, okay, so we're living in this place. They sold it to a new company.

The company is like offering everyone buyouts except me. Cause everyone else had lived there for a long time. There was only something with that. So I think the rent was like, I think the rent. It's never just I moved into a apartment and I lived there. No, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely never.

At this point, I'm looking for, we had a nice quiet dinner and fell asleep. That's what I'm talking about. Never gonna happen. I'm hoping for a happy ending. Well, it is a happy ending. Everything's great. Everything's absolutely perfect.

And everything's happened exactly the way it's supposed to happen. And I feel like absolutely grateful for every load that was illegal, that was dropped on my body as a kid. I like the sentiment. There you go. Of course. No, no, no, I really like honestly,

like I do feel like that's what I love about having, being able to do comedy and like connect with people. It's like, I mean, we are all fucked up. 100%. And you guys know this is what your podcast is. 100%. And I don't want to like, I never want to like be too on the nose

cause that's not funny. But it's like, it really is like kind of amazing that we get to do this. 100%. Oh no, it's so, yeah. Every day we think the same exact thing. I'm like so grateful. And I try to, I'm like,

I don't want to be like Kyle Ceasess bitch. Do you know who Kyle Ceasess is? He was the comic that turned into like a motivational speaker. But I mean, it's like we are like, it's such a, I'm just really fucking can't believe it. But anyway, so I have no, I don't feel bad about any of this shit at all. I worked through all that trauma.

That's awesome. I did so much work on that. I mean, I repressed it, worked on it, you know, like it all came out. I had like a couple of years I was screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I also think as you get older too, it's a thing, it's like perspective,

you know what I mean? As you get older differently than you did in your 20s or so. Well, it's like you, I don't know what the term is for, but like what I said earlier where it's like, I didn't realize that everyone hadn't gone through this shit. So then when I realized it, and I was like unpacking that, I was like, holy fucking shit. That's a lot, yeah.

I was like filled with rage. I was so mad at my parents. I used to call my parents and be like, fuck you, like, you got me right, like shit like that. And they're just like, we're sorry. Or like not really be able to say sorry for whatever reason they're going through. But then when I realized like they're human beings

and they just fucking didn't understand. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. They would never do that now if they knew. And like, thank God they did it because it gave me a little edge, a little sticky edge. She got a little spunk to her. I got a little, no pun in 10s, that's great. I got a little spunk.

But anyway, so I'm in this apartment. They start doing construction around the apartment. And I keep thinking I'm going to get a buyout or something. So I'm like waiting in this apartment, like I need this money from this. This is during COVID. This is during COVID. I'm like, fuck, I'm like, this is insane.

I'm not making any money. I'm like, what should I do? Trashy hoping for a buyout. Fuckin' sittin' here. Last man's standin' fingers crossed, give me some cash. Well, they're asking everyone else, but everyone else had lived there for 20 years. So their rent was like 20 bucks.

So they were like, I was like their cash cow in 1600. So anyway, so they ended up like fucking with us saying they're going to buy us out. And I was like, all right, whatever. I got an ulcer. Like they're doing construction in every apartment around us. So it was just like, I mean, I was in hell.

You couldn't leave your fucking apartment. Can't leave your apartment. It was so like criminal. But anyway, so then we get our vaccines, we go to see our families. This is as recent as the vaccines. Okay, so I'm like, I'm broke. I don't have anything.

I start, I find this guy's podcast, this guy named Jim Fortin, and I started like doing, I just decided to pay for this program that he does. It was like so more expensive than anything I'd paid for. But I was like, I'm just gonna like take a leap of faith. I think this guy's like, I love his podcast. I love what he says.

And his is all about his take on life and his philosophy and his work that he does is about like subconscious reprogramming. Sure, of course. And, but he also like his brother-in-law's a shaman. So he's got some like really like spiritual hippie shit too. But so I liked his podcast. I was like, I'm just gonna take this fucking course.

Like they were, you were able to pay like per month. I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna do it. And so I was doing that course and I was starting to kind of get that, that I had these beliefs about myself that I don't have money. So I was like, I'm trash. Like if you look at like my family,

like my dad made a lot of money, but we still kind of lived like a trashy life. My family was the same way. We were like, and then they spent all the money and then had money again and then no money. Yeah, trash, it was like new money shit. And it's kind of like the way that you, the, how you're raised with money

is like how you live your life through it. So it was like, I was thinking, the way my family was always was it would be like, we don't have any money, here's a 20. So it was like very like scary. And then also like, do we have money or not? I can't tell. And then it's like, we had more money

than a lot of our friends growing up. And then we, and then I like went to college and everyone had more money than us. So it was like, it was just a weird, it was just a, it was a confusing thing. And I didn't really understand it. And so anyway, so I realized I kept moving back into my car. I'm like, this is fucking so weird.

I'm like, I do the same thing as all these multi-millionaires, like my friends are like, so fucking rich, like what is going on? And so I started doing that program and we go to see our family after we get our vaccine and we come back and there's even more construction. Like the building is like completely boarded up. They took away our parking, our laundry,

like all this stuff. And I just looked at my boyfriend and I was like, we're moving out in the next two days. Like we're done. I don't care how we do it. And I had probably like $1,400 in my bank account. I go to my mailbox, there's a letter from the IRS. I'm like, holy shit, what the fuck do I owe?

Like what did I do? And then I was like, wait, I'm spending money on this program. Let me just like put positive energy out and nothing. I open it up, $6,000 unclaimed dollars. Like when in the world has that ever happened? $6,000. So then I was like, we just immediately moved out.

The white trash, come on baby, let's go. Then we immediately moved out. We found a place in the next day. You buying new coins. Thank you, I am. No dude, I'm like in a Tesla, I'm doing great. But it was just, yeah, it was like the easiest thing in the world.

You got a Tesla? And then I'm getting one, yeah. Nice. I already, I like started online. The process, yeah. Love that. Good for you. Kids on the come up.

I used to say Tesla 2020 and then the pandemic end. I was like Tesla 2021, Tesla 2021. That's great. And so, yeah, no, so that. Moved out of there. So moved out of there. Now I live, I live, I do live in an apartment, but I live near the beach and there's security

in my apartment building. So there's no homeless people can come in and stab us. That's nice. Which our old neighborhood was getting so stabby. It's like so crazy. So much meth. Oh yeah. It's boncos out there right here.

Now you guys live together in this place. Yeah, we live together in this place. We got a puppy. Nice. So we moved in together with our dog and then so we moved into a one bedroom. Do you put it on a leash? Yes, yes.

We're very good. He's very well behaved. It's so funny. My parents are like, you have such a good dog. I'm like, they all start good. You know that, right? Yeah. You train them to be bad.

Yeah. You have to teach them what to do. It's not like you got a bad one. Yeah, we got a adorable little puppy, but so he's a year now. So we moved into this new place. It's a one bedroom and now we realize we need a bigger place. So now we're moving at the end of the month

into a two bedroom loft. Look at this. By the pool, by the gym. In the same complex? In the same place. And they have a plug-in for Teslas in the parking garage. Look at that. That's classy though.

Talk about coming full at all. So now I'm going to bring my solo podcast back because now I have an extra room to make it to my studio. There she is. She got studio money. I got a slow money. She's doing all right. Now.

If you come to Carolans, I'll have more money. Do you feel that you have a lot of the habits that your parents had when you were going up? Or do you feel like you've rejected them and do your own thing? I have been noticing more and more like becoming my parents, but instead of choosing to make it be like, oh, I'm becoming my mother,

I'm actually really touched by it and I really love it because I figure my parents, my mom's 70, my dad's 80. It's like, when they go, that's going to be my tie to them. It's going to be those little things that I do that they did. But it's stuff like this. They're all like, everyone loves to overeat and worry about food, but overeat in my family. So my boyfriend got Oreos and he hid them from me

up on the top of this. Because I ask him, I'm like, just keep them away from me. I'll eat the whole fucking thing. You know what I'm talking about. You said it, sister. Yes, brother. Oh my god, we're related. So he will hurt me like clinking around in the kitchen.

And I had like a knife. I was trying to get them off the top shelf. And he came in and he was like hitting the knife out of my hand like I was like trying to kill him or something. And I was crying laughing because that's like so my parents. Like my parents are like knocking each other out, trying to get icing from each other. But it's a little shit like that, but I like it.

I feel like that's how they're going to be like immortal in my life. OK, that's great. I like it. I like it. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? No, I do. Pea in the shower?

Always. Really? Yeah, of course. And it's better if there's someone in there. I will piss on anyone. So funny to pee on someone. Do you have name brand luggage? I just ordered nice luggage.

What were you using before? Jessica Simpson brand from TJ Maxx. It's so shitty. Like I have one now and it's just so clunky. But I've been blind first class, so. Really? Eslamani. Look at that.

You just because the program that I'm taking, I just retrained my brain to be like, I'm worth millions of dollars like I deserve it because it's low self-esteem. That's making me like keep feel trapped. And then I'm like, I'm not doing anything that different. I'm just I just changed my attitude. We were talking.

We were trying to figure out a problem. So like, hang on. So if an offer comes in, you say, not get me more. Well, it depends on the offer. I also right now, like you mean on the road? Just in general. Like on the road, my guarantees, I've kept kind of low because I would rather like prove myself on the road.

I don't want to ever like. If they're too big, then you're indebted to them. Yeah, I don't want to lose money for anyone. Like I don't have any problem with that. But yeah, no, I usually will say, see if we can get more or see if they can get his hair and makeup like stuff like that. Like I'll have this before.

You wouldn't have said that without this. I would never. I would be like, Oh my God, is it OK that I'm doing this? Are they sure? You know, we were. I tip fat now. I mean, not that I didn't tip fat before, but you can like, yeah, I love doing that flying first class.

Yeah. And like sometimes I don't. But the last time I couldn't fly first class because if it's like $2,000, I'm not going to do it. But it's like if it's just like a little like if it's like. It's what's a little bit more. I paid. Well, when I was going to surprise my dad

for his 80th birthday, I flew first class for 1600 bucks because I was like it felt good because that used to be my rent that I couldn't make just like fucking six months ago. Yeah. And because I was going to see my family and I wanted to like, you know, and I just like I now I got my my frequent flyer card miles.

Like I'm like, I now I'm just like, this is just where I live. Yeah, you're set up. Yeah, you set it up a bit. And it's just they're nicer to you and it's less people in the row and everything. But then it's also like I must don't recommend people flying first class because once you know, it's tough to go. It's really hard to go.

I've done it once when someone else paid for it every time. But my coach guy, the guy, Jim Fortin, he said, he was like, he's like, I want to recommend you guys start flying first class just to get yourself back. And I just started doing that. Yeah, it's like you put it out there. It's like one of those things and you're like, oh, I deserve this. And then you feel it's like you you carry yourself.

I had to get over the feeling bad for other people that don't because it's like that's just like their journey, whatever they're going to do. But you know, I would feel like guilty before about money. Like I was like, oh, why should I have it? And they don't. It's like it's not like about that. Yeah, no, of course, of course, they can get it. What's the bed situation?

King size, queen size bed, queen size bed. And what we have a heel of mattress. One of the like old people beds. Oh, really? Oh, really? I don't know when. Now where? Why? I just got you can get them at the they all have them.

Really? Yeah. You guys use that thing for like sex stuff? Yeah. Sometimes I put I have he'll like bring my pussy up to him. It's great. He'll be standing. I meant to watch TV. That was awesome. It's so funny. He brings the bottom up

because the bottom can go up or the top. I'll just sit on the corner and just like brings me up. You need a standing desk when you go to work, dude. Yeah, I'm in. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have one right now that I'm trying to cure my TMJ. I have TMJ.

What's that? Like the joint or whatever. My joint and my jaw is all fucked up and it pops and stuff. OK. And so I realized I was sleeping all squished. Like it sucks because I do like to sleep like on my boyfriend's chest like that, but it's like I got to lay on my back so I don't grind my teeth.

Making improvements. I'm really like an hypnosis is helping me. My jaw was like tight since I was molested. The first time a little. No, I'm really realizing all these things like my body's been in fight or flight since I was like. I totally, you know, I totally. And I just don't know that I mean you're in panic.

Well, because grinding your teeth at night when you go to or TMJ or cluster I got all these like tension problems. And when you go to the doctors, they're like, we don't know what to do and it's stress related. You're like, fuck you, it's stress related. Like I'm not stressed or whatever. You know, like, how do you stop being stressed

and hypnosis has worked. Like I just had this lady, she just programmed in my brain. My jaw is always relaxed, especially at night. And it's just like more relaxed than it's ever been in my entire life. Damn. It's crazy. It's pretty cool. Hypnosis. Yeah, it's fucking awesome.

I'm going to learn how to do it too. Really? That scares me. Gives me the heat. Well, you have to do, you have to like, when I go to. I'm not going to look you in the eye from here on out to be honest with you.

I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I would never do it on train. Wake up my underwear is on backwards. That's the worst thing that could happen. I don't know. The urinary tract infection you get

from your little doo-doo going in your pee hole. Your little skid marks. I wear a sheath that has its own hole. Let's see, what else? Anyone in your family have adult braces? No. Okay. Anybody in your family own a laundry mat,

bar, or car wash? No, that's so fun. Anyone in your family not trust the banks? No. Okay. Your parents ever leave you anywhere by accident? Yeah. Yeah, our teacher's place.

Yeah. No, that was on purpose. Other than that. No, we, well, this shouldn't count. Swim practice. There was a mix up of who was supposed to. Yeah, that's okay. Pick this up.

But my mom also really fucking screamed at that bitch. That was a good moment. She was like, you fucking left my kids, bitch. Like it was good. Really? It was good. I was like, hell yeah, mom. Have you ever seen any of your parents fight, fist fight?

Oh, fist fight? Other people. No, no fist fights. But men did tongue as my mom a lot in front of us. I'm sorry. Two men did it. What do you mean? There was a family we used to go camping with.

They tongue kissed her. The man did. Which I think they were trying to be swingers or something. Now as a grown kid. Did your mom kiss back? No. She was like, what the fuck? She was like, what?

Or she would a little bit and they'd be like, this is so weird. And then my next door neighbor. What the fuck? These parents are wonky. I'm sorry. And we never understood it. She's never given me an answer.

I'm like, there's gotta be an answer that you're not telling me. And it's like, you can tell me now, mom. You're 70. Yeah. What am I gonna do? Get on stage and tell everyone. What am I gonna try to monetize this?

I know it's like such a fine line with them. I'm like, wait a minute. But they, yeah, no. So he leaned in. He stopped, like, wave to us. She was driving our minivan, picking us up from school or something. And he just leaned in and tongue kissed her.

And we were all like, we're telling dad. Yeah, what the fuck? What's your dad say? He's just like, that was weird. What the fuck? But maybe they were all swinging. They were fucking all over the place. Maybe they're all swingers.

I don't know. Yeah, it could be. Huh. No braces when you were a kid. I had an appliance that they said I was a tongue thruster. And I- Do you have veneers in there or are they your teeth? No, those are my teeth.

Rock and solid. Wow, fantastic teeth. I think, I don't like veneers. They've never looked good. I think they look terrible. I first person. They all, you look like a Clydesdale. Every single one of you out there with that.

Yeah, I don't like it at all. It's like, I don't like- It's so jarring when you see it. I feel really like a hippie. I feel like I want to like, I like to just like accept myself and like, you know, I'll wear fake eyelashes, fake hair, stuff like that, but I will always talk about it.

I'll never like be secretive about the shit I'm doing. But I don't have any Botox. I don't have any filler. I don't have any of that stuff. Like to me, it's just like, I just want to like, I want to like be who I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Never get a boob job or anything. I would never do that. Let's see here. Growing up, if you went to like an amusement park or something and you rode the roller coaster- 20 park. You went to Dornie Park, you rode Batman or whatever. Would you get your picture?

Would you buy the picture? Was that a Letterman thing? You would go to the gift shop and wait and look at like screen nine and buy your picture. I don't, I actually don't know if we got the picture because there was one picture I wanted to get and my dad didn't get it or my brother wanted to get. Cause we did, I think this might have been six flags.

There was something that happened where my head, I wasn't holding my head right. And I was getting my head banged. And the picture was like, me like, like crying and wincing in pain. And my twin was like, we had to get it. And he wouldn't get it. And it is one of the things where I'm like,

fuck you should have listened to Max dad, but it's so good. What would be a typical Letterman vacation? Kate May, Jersey Shore. You're gonna go to Kate May, Jersey Shore. So it's Jersey Shore, but it's Kate May. It's a little bit less than that. How did you feel? Cause we were, we're, we're Wildwood still.

Wildwood, we would go to Wildwood while we were there. We got lost there a lot. They would lose us there. Yeah, oh yeah. But it was usually my brothers. I didn't get lost as much. But I do remember like, like pulling a man's like sweat pants and like that.

And it wasn't him like daddy, ah, you know. And the funnel cake line like fuck. Those are my dad's pubes. Uh, no, I feel so lucky. No one in my family ever molested me or came clear. There was never anything. My family, the only thing they're guilty of is like not being as aware. They're a very like just trusting of everyone, but they never naive, maybe naive,

but they never were, they weren't bad like that. No abuse. They didn't hit us. I mean, I got hit a couple of times, but I remember it, you know, and they do too. If I got hit, I deserved it. Yeah. Well, I think I'm like, I'm like, kind of should have gotten it. Oh yeah, I should have gotten it.

I'm like, I really should have been hit a little. I should have been smacked around. Yeah, just to stay in line a bit. Yeah. Have you ever won anything? Lottery. My mom always wins like the gift basket at things. Like if she's at something where they're like put a ticket in, she always wins it.

Yeah, she's running the auction property. She's setting it up. What do you mean? No, she has weird like win luck. She won a trip to Hawaii with my dad when they were first married. Um, there was a crepe contest, like some crepe stuff. She says that like, wait, she was like a pineapple. It was like, you know what?

It was like a pineapple. I know my brain. I have to work on that because I have to like paint pictures. Sorry about the French pancakes. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah. So we, we, we fit in crepes, but, um, she it was like on can pineapple or something they had a contest where it was like a crepe recipe and my mom

submitted and she won. And then she and my dad went to Hawaii on a trip on a crepe contest trip. This is literally nuts. Who watched you while you were gone? That was when we were, that was before we were born, but we had, um, our nanny slash cleaning lady was this chick, Mavis, who would hang out with us. Yes, she was from Guyana.

Probably. Yeah. I mean, your dad was doing well. You got cash. It was a big house. Yeah. Big house. How many bedrooms?

Three. It was, they converted the third floor into two bedrooms. That was like an attic. Yeah. And it's two bedrooms. And then there were my parents' bedroom, my brother's bedroom, my bedroom. And then there was a small room that they used as an office. Garage.

Good size house. Garage. Yeah. You have a garage fridge. They, my brother turned it into a, um, thrasher stadium, which was where they would all smoke weed. They got all these couches from Goodwill turned it into like a place to smoke weed.

There was a flag bong that my older brother named flaggy. My brother's, my older brother, everything was named the E of whatever it was. Really? Copy. Can you get me copy? So funny. Um, but we, did they change, did they actual do construction on the plane? It was just a garage.

No, no, no, no, no. My parents were just like, do your thing. Yeah. So it was a garage. That's so crappy. So they would have to, but it's so funny because the light would turn off after like 15 minutes or whatever. So they would have to hold the thing.

They put a glow in the dark sticker on it. So they would have to push the thing up and down every two minutes. So the light would go back on. So true. I hung out in so many garages on couches, smoking things, smoking weed. Whatever. It's a great time, but they got us an air hockey table. It is for sure the trashiest house on the block.

Yeah. If you're hanging out in the garage, no pool, no pool, but, but we hung out at the local pool, but the garage, but I'm just saying, like we were like the local pool. Yeah. We hang out at like, yeah, we go to the inside pool. We'd hang out there. Like we were always on the swim team. We're always like just getting sunburned or just, but we would just go by ourselves.

Did you, were you guys alone a lot as kids? Yeah. Like you just wondering, isn't it weird now thinking about hours? It's, but would you just like one, like we would just walk to the pool. Like, isn't that crazy? Yeah. I would just like, Hey, I would leave in the morning in the summer. My parents are going to work leaving the morning.

We'd be back for dinner or we'd all be hanging out at somebody's house. Totally normal. Totally normal. Right in our bikes. No cell phones. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah.

I would check in at like if I left in the summer, like, Hey, it's noon. I'm leaving. Yeah. Whatever. Leave a note. You obviously leave a note. Like, Hey, I'm at Justin's. Now would you ever, would you ever do that?

Did you have a kid? No. No, no, no. You're like, now I'm like, no, what? Not in the past. Oh my God. I feel like everything's too structured now as far as family life where there isn't time for like my niece and nephew.

They don't have time to like disappear and go hang out with their friends. It's something organized and like baseball sock. It's like things. Your kid will get snatched or something. I feel like you can't have your kids just like walking by themselves. Hell no. No, I don't. Yeah.

I mean, I don't think that happens anymore. I think that's why there's probably more fucked up shit that happened in the 70s, 80s. Yeah, totally. And stuff, you know, milk with dinner growing up. Um, no, but I would have been able to if I wanted to. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes, I do.

You do. I haven't had it in years, but I used to. My mom was on Weight Watchers. I'm used to one of her Weight Watchers thing was like the verb is big was toast with cottage cheese and like jam. That was pretty fucking good. Yeah. Uh, well, growing up, what grocery store did your parents go to?

Uh, not Gennardies. What was around there? Gennardies is top notch. What's that fancy? Yeah, it's good. It's good. Good market. We went to like shop, right?

Shop, right. And then they would always change. Act me. Act me. Now that my dad loves giant, that's my dad's favorite. He's all check out. Yeah, it's all right. It's good.

Middle of the road. But we never did yet. No, we never were like, Trader Joe's in high school. Really? In high school. Yeah. Damn, you're a Trader Joe's when you were in high school. They turned it into, well, maybe I'm not.

Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was in college. But there was one in Willow Grove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We travel, and we do a little extra next to the liquor store. I ever have a thumb ring? Yeah. Toe ring?

Yeah, from the Jersey Shore. My mom and I would get like little matching things. Matching rings or whatever you're there. OK. Do you call it mini golf or putt putt? Mini golf. OK. Putt putt is trash.

I'm going on a record. Miniature golf, maybe even. Yeah, miniature golf, mini golf, yeah. Miniature golf, mini golf. But putt putt is a no-go. Is it supermarket or grocery store to you? Supermarket. Is it book bag or school bag?

Book bag for life. Book bag for life, OK. And I can't read, so that means a lot. Did it, that's true. Dinner or supper? Dinner. Not bad. Your parents still have a fax machine?

No. But they have a scanner. Like they always have a scanner. My brother and I, actually, I should come out as like, I did some bad stuff, OK? My brother and I, when we had to do, did you have to do driver's ed like classes? For some reason, we had to go to the school.

We went to Montgomery County Community College. But we went in the Northeast somewhere. Somewhere in Northeast Philly. Like we had the car. I had the private guy. Did you have Norm? That was just the. No, remember Norm's?

Yes. Holy shit. Do you remember Norm's driving? Norm's driving school. He was that. That guy was it. Yo, Norm made his fucking round. Dude, that big fatso.

I never got those cars. Did they have two wheels in there? Yes, he had a brake and a wheel. Yeah, brake and a steering wheel. He had a stutter. He had a stutter big fat guy with a stutter. And he would make you drive to us, has to get chips.

He'd be like, I have to get chips. I did go to the house. What? I might have did Norm. I just, Norm's growing up. Every. Norm might have did you. I don't know.

No, Norm, another one. Thank you for not molesting me. You had a perfect ample opportunity. Shout out to Norm. Wow, that's that. That just blew my fucking mind. No, we're going to have a lot of these. Norm's driving school.

Like let me come back on the show at some point and we don't have to talk about the pack. We'll just talk about, we'll find all of our like Philly things cause there's going to be a million of them. But so, but my brother and I, my twin, we went and did the class at some college, but it was in Northeast Philadelphia somewhere.

And my mom had a Xerox machine that you could, remember you could like make, shrink things. Do you remember that? You would like read, you would, there was just, my mom had like this big ass Xerox machine and you could shrink stuff. And then you'd put it in like, you'd put like 50%, 50% and then you'd make it

like really small. We stole the book, the book to pass the class. And we shrunk it down, we circled all the right answers and we just handed it out to these kids. We didn't know them. We just handed it out to all of them. Everyone cheated, everyone passed.

And so we're probably like responsible for a lot of vehicular manslaughter in Northeast Philadelphia in the late nineties. So sorry about that around 1998. Couple of people getting clipped on the boulevard. My boyfriend was four. Playing instrument? Just the recorder.

Not well, just in school. Yeah, but you bought it for like six bucks. I just bought a new one over a pandemic. I was like, I'm gonna teach myself how to play recorder. And I was like, no, I'm not. That's. Is there a painting of your family, your parents house by any chance?

There is now, but that's cause my older brother just got it. Wow, of the whole family. No of them, just of them. Just of your parents. But you know what I got my boyfriend, I got my boyfriend one of those things from the mall that's like the crystal where they etch in the picture.

And it's on a light that box. That sounds trashy. Real trashy. I mean, if you're getting etching done at the mall. It's in the middle of the mall. Not a store. Yeah, in the middle of the mall. I'm a mall bitch.

What was your mall growing up? Was Willow Grove. And I got caught shoplifting at 14. They took my blooming tails, took my picture. I was doing sunglasses. They handcuffed me to a bench. Was this like black eye and a Hawaiian shirt was undercover.

So I thought I was getting kidnapped by a man, like a stranger. It's also, yeah, that's dicey. It's so embarrassing. But how embarrassing is it to be the guilty one screaming for help? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They handcuffed me to the bench.

I was like, ah, someone help me. Stranger danger. And then they had a patty wagon. They're like, sorry, bitch, you're going in here. I was like, oh, okay. Jesus Christ. What's the credit card situation now? I have one credit card.

I had some maces and some blooming tails, but we've moved on from that. Cool, yeah. Store credit cards. Didn't close them, but you know they do a thing where they'll like just like charge you 10 cents every once in a while for something? Don't work that out.

You're like, why is my credit? And it's like, because they like will be like, oh, you didn't know about this $1 fee. Is the credit good now? Credit's growing. Credit's growing. Do you know that money? Tim, listen, credit limit is 8,000 on my card right now,

but I'll spend over that, but then I'll keep paying it. The minute I started doing this shit with Jim Ford, I'm telling you. Wait, you'll make sure you pay the credit card off at the end of the month. I pay it during the month so I can get more money. You know, if you pay during, so I'll pay the 8,000, then I'll pay like, like I just had to do it today.

I paid 2,000 towards it, so tomorrow I'll be able to spend more money on it. Now you use this, you always use this when you make purchases. I'm trying to use it all the time because it's my American Airlines one, but my business manager just got a business manager in. Same one as Tim Dillon.

Well, Tim Dillon told me, he called me like a little while ago and was like, Annie, everything can get fixed with money. He's like, no restaurants closed. He's like, your credit, you just pay a guy $3,000, it's up. That's kind of where I'm at. That's great, that's big, 8K is nice. If you go, like if you see something like,

I saw this, I mean this necklace was a little bit, a little above the price range, but I saw this necklace, I go, oh, what's that necklace? And they were like, it's $44,000 and I was like, but if they had said $4,000, like I would have made it work. Sure, yeah, of course. Like it's like, and I'm not even saying like, I'm gonna put it under the universe

that somehow I get that fucking, like someone's gonna give it to me or something. I don't know, like maybe that will just end up in my place, but shit like that has been happening for me, weird shit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I'm a big proponent of like, you have to, kind of believe, you have to, if somebody,

if you don't believe it, who the fuck is going to believe it? But it's like, if we go like, we don't deserve shit and we're nothing like, we are the only ones that would even know that, so it's like, we're just like letting people know we're trash. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's so weird.

I mean, it's interesting to navigate in comedy, not being like a bitter, prickly, angry bitch anymore, but. Well, that's like new for, like I, it's just like, when I see somebody succeed now, I'm like, fucking great for you, just because it's like, you're coming from a different. And the people that don't make it, I was talking to Josh Potter.

Love Josh Potter. Josh Potter, got out to him. But he, but we, like, I've been like telling him, like, I'm going to ruin your career, so you have to be an opener for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, this is a headliner, you guys, are getting as an opener.

I know, yeah, he's so funny. I will fucking destroy him. I was like, I will meet you if I have to, you're fucking not. He's the best. But with him, it's like, I was talking to him, it's like all these people, cause I, I mean, I actually don't remember him from New York,

but he knows me from open mic scene. I was like in my Instagram, like back at one of my first ones, and he had liked it. I'm like, that's so sad. I had no clue who you were. But so I was talking about it, it's like all these people that like we used to look up to,

don't even fucking do comedy anymore. And you know what they all have in common? They're bitter, shitty, complaining, focusing on what they don't have, like. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, you just gotta be like, stay in your own lane and like focus on your shit. I mean, still talk shit cause it's fun, but.

Oh yeah, you got it. In the car. Yeah. We play, we play a game called Guess Who Stinks. And it's a 20 question. Like, so you think of a comic in your head, and then you have 20, like you just go, is it a guy or a girl?

Do they work here or there? And it's the funnest game in the world. It's so weird. Fun on the road. All right, hit us with a couple of Patreon questions. All right, we got a couple of Patreon questions, guys. So when you sign up for Patreon, we'll answer, we'll ask your garbage question.

And sign up, it's doing really well, they're putting, here's the thing, my Patreon, I completely like abandoned and I'm coming back to it, so don't worry about it now, but check it out a little bit. But it's like, if you're, if you do have people there, it's like you want to do more for it. So you just sign up for their Patreon because they actually give a fuck about you

and they will be putting good content on there. It's like, when you only have like 20 people on your 100, it's like, you want, cause you want to give that to like, the masses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we put out a shit ton. I mean, you get bonus episodes of AYG. We do a whole nother podcast on their hard feelings.

We do live streams with the top tier members. And then we do the live shows, we shoot the live shows and then put the live shows on, on there as well. So there's a lot of fucking content and we love doing it, everybody's awesome, you know. All right, let's see, this is from Kay, ever played drinking games at a family function? That is a true mark of trash.

Drinking game is what? Drinking Yeager and trying not to show my tits to my entire grown family. Yeah, that would count. Yeah, that's a game. Put that as a maybe. No, I was getting blacked out. Yeah, it was a nightmare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got, I actually, oh, I'm sad this is only going on Patreon, but it's a good Patreon. No, no, no, this is, no, this goes everywhere. Okay guys, so I went to my older brother was a part of a frat. He doesn't want me to say the name of it, but he was a part of a frat at Penn State

and I went for parents week and I was 16 years old. This is gonna end poorly. I had my nipples pierced, 16 years old. You had your nipples pierced at 16? At 14, I got the second, I got the left one at 14, the right one. Did your parents know that this was getting done? No, but when I was in a fight with my mom when I was 14,

I was like, I have sex, I smoke cigarettes, I drink and I have my nipples pierced. I think that's one of the times I got hit. I got thrown on the bed for sure. Did you get it done at a place or did a friend do it? I went to South Street tattoo. The South Street tattoo tattooed a 14 year old girl. No, they pierced it and it is weird

because you have to touch my tits. It's like my, it's a second. I know what a nipple is. Isn't that crazy? I never thought about that tattoo more recently. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, everything you've said has been nuts. Yeah, bananas.

And you guys are from Philly, I feel like you wouldn't think it was that crazy. No. I didn't get my nipples pierced till 16. I'm fucking gentlemen over here. So Penn State Fraternity House family weekend. Family weekend. I show up, my parents go back to the hotel,

we get fucking hammered at the- Hammered drunk. Just like drunk tequila. One of my brother's friends goes, like let's go shop for shot. And I'm like only sister, you know? So I'm always like trying to fucking be as cool as the boys. Plus you're a bit of a partier.

Yeah, I already was a partier, yeah. I was like, dude, I already fucking, I'm about to graduate from high school. Yeah. I'm 16. Was your brother comfortable with this? I'm about to burn down the barracks. No, no, no, no.

I mean, he didn't care that we were drinking, but he was not comfortable with what happened. So what happens is, I get hammered on tequila and then my brother's friend who's drinking, taking shots with me also has his nipple pierced. So he keeps going, oh, you have your nipple pierced? Let me see you. I'll show you mine if you show me yours, right?

So then it turns into a line of my brother's friends coming to see my networks and I'm just flashing people. And they're like grandparents. They're like, this is parents' weekend. I mean, we're at the party part, but like some parents did. Yeah, of course. And then so the next day-

It's family weekend. So the next day, my brother's so mad at me. And he's like, and I'm like, I'm looking back at this, I'm like, I think you should be mad at Dave because Dave is the fucking one over 18 who is like, you know what I mean? It's also like, I killed it. I was the life of the party for a little while.

And also, that's a good story. I was holding court. But imagine that's how you're returning for the rest of your life. Oh, that's tough. Yeah, I didn't even think of that. Yeah, yeah. You were a letterman's sister did man.

I know, dude. Showed up to the party. But yeah, so the next day, we didn't want to tell my parents what happened. So we just said that I like- Why would you? Well, they needed to know there was some anger happening. So what the story we told was that I like,

threw cake in someone's face. So my brother like, I can't fucking believe you threw cake in so many people's face. There was a line of people when you were throwing cake in their face. So much cake in so many faces. All right, this one's from Matthew. Growing up, I don't know.

This answer could go either way. Growing up, did you or your siblings ever refer to your parents by their first name? Never. Okay. That they drew the line at. Yeah. I still call them like mommy and daddy.

Okay. Really some mommy and daddy. I call my aunt aunties. Yeah. Surprise is not aunt. That's what I- I think it's because- No, wait.

I think I can change this back. Aunt Debbie, Aunt Cody. Because we call everyone aunt. Aunt Nancy, all that stuff. My nieces call me aunt. They live in Boston. So I think because I'm aunt. Okay.

And then the boys called me aunt. That are in Jersey now, but. Aunt. Okay. I want to go back though. Orange really popped in. I don't know how that happened, but it should be orange. Orange, orange.

Orange. This will be the last one. This one's for Michael. Have you ever tried to charge food or drinks to another room while staying at a hotel? If you're in room 305, where you get your dinner and you say, I'm in 308. You don't do it in the hotel you're staying at.

You go to a hotel, you eat there, and then you just make up a number and you leave. But you know when I did that? Have you done that? Oh my God. Do I have a story for you guys? Hold on, hold on. She was seven, I'm thinking.

I was 14 years old. I was in Mexico on a school trip. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, what? Hold on you guys. This is such a good story. Okay, spring break. We used to do spring trips with my school.

I have no idea where this is gonna end. Okay, so my high school. Who goes on spring break at 14? And it's not gonna be good. No, it's, no, this is not, it was not real school. No, this was the summer I worked for the cartel for three months.

You guys, how I am alive. I feel so good about myself. It's great. I'm so proud of myself. It's so crazy. But I also have great stories. Wait, is this the prison school? This was the, yeah, this is the bad kid school.

Are they staying in Mexico? Yes, only once, never again. I mean, I could have, who's, so who do? My friend, Malo, M.K. Asante. You should own this school at this point, you know that. My parents were donating money to this fucking school until two years ago when I saw it in the mail. I went, you're fucking donating money

to the school that molested me? Jesus Christ still? Yeah. What the fuck? No, no, no, not now. Pick the fucking side, William, mom and dad. Not now. I gotta cancel those free trials, man.

I know. But so, okay, so the spring trips, like some people will go to Oregon, some people, they had like different trips they would do. Ours, they were like, we're gonna go to Mexico, we're gonna go to Cancun, it was during Cinco de Mayo, we're gonna go to Cancun to see the ruins, to see the Mayan ruins, right?

But all the teachers were, they were fucking, not all of them were molesters, but one recently also got caught with Kiddie Point. It's like, it was like, Shady Shit was going on in that school in the night. Damn, dude. The principal's gone, I think he ran off with a student.

I don't know that for sure, but I think that's what happened with him. Fuck. It was a bad school. Jesus. Did parents come on the trip to Chaperone, or was it all? No, it was all teachers.

And then so. This is like a fucking racket. I know. You were trafficked. But my friend, my friend, Mala, whose name is M. K. Asante, now he's got like five names, I don't know. He's really very, we're like,

some pretty epic success stories from the school, but we hated each other in high school. We had gotten a fight, they had to have us, and they were giving us a meeting in the principal's office, and I flicked a booger in his face, and he lunged at me. You flicked a booger at a guy? Yeah, dude.

Mala was one to fuck me up. But anyway, so he. That's the craziest thing she said about me. He wrote a book. He wrote a book about. And bugs it, Pete. He wrote a book about the school that was like a best seller.

Really? Yeah, Don Cheadle. Don Cheadle's like involved in optioning as a movie. Great, let's drag these fucking bozos through the mud. But he, I think his was about the school being good, and then we reconnected. We reconnected, and we started remembering all the shit. He's good.

And we started remembering all the shit. But he, like, he just has a different relationship, but he, like, he was like, oh my God. And then our friend Dustin, who passed away, but he was, he was an acting coach. I knew someone didn't make it through. No, a lot of people died, but Dustin just, Dustin had diabetes complications,

but which we're worried about. But, careful. But Dustin was a, Dustin was an acting coach, and he had all these acting schools, and he worked with, like, all of Will Smith's kids, and stuff like he did really well too. But so, Mala, Dustin and Mala were in Cancun the same time I was, but we weren't friends yet.

We didn't become friends, so grown-ups recently, like 10 years ago. He and Dustin were, like, at strip clubs and shit, like 16, whatever. You're in fucking Cancun. We were, yeah, we were just drinking and fucked up. 16 in Cancun, you might as well be 38. But we went on a booze group.

With the... They took, the teachers took us on a booze group, and I won a strip tease contest at 14. I won a bottle of tequila, and they took the tequila for themselves, but that's it. That's, I mean, the fact that you're doing a shirt tease. That's fucking insane. Isn't that so crazy?

And then Dustin, he's like, I have pictures of it. He passed away, so I don't have the pictures, but there are some right at his mom's house. He has pictures of me. Is that not the best TBT you've ever seen in your fucking life? That's like an album cover. That's an album piece.

Isn't that insane? But that's where we did the thing. We did the wrong testimony. I know. I always get scared that I'm gonna get sued by people for telling these stories, but... Sued, what do you mean? You were the victim.

I know, but I get you to get scared. I don't know. Hey, this girl, I'm a let's it keeps talking about it. What the fuck? No, when I talked about it on Marin. When I talked about it on Marin, I didn't say the teacher's name or the school or anything because I was still very in it,

very traumatized and scared. He, someone figured out who he was just from what I said, and he had moved to another state and was just starting to work with at-risk youths again, and I fucking blocked his ass again. Nice. Yes, good for you. Look at that.

Fucking superhero over here. Driving her Tesla from town to town. Annie, let him in. Stop and dare duels. $8,000 credit limit. Tesla, new two-bedroom apartment. What a successful boy. With a loft.

With a loft. With a loft successful boyfriend on tour. Podcast is killing it. You're killing it. Sold out my last weekend. Sold out her last week. I was in Arizona, camping Arizona. Great.

Caroline's this weekend. Almost sold out, not the full weekend, almost sold out the entire weekend, though. Caroline's this weekend, is that correct? Yes, Caroline's this weekend. Fantastic. I'm doing a- You're trash, but-

I am garbage, but I'm making the best of it. And so can you trash. But also, go to annieletterman.com. You can see all my other tour dates. I'm on the road a bunch. I'm going to like, next time in Hartford, then I go to, I'm gonna be in like, Chicago, and- You got a big Chicago base.

Go out and see her. Love it. Yeah. I got a bunch of stuff coming. Super funny. Going to go to- On Wild App. Going to go into Death Valley to do drugs

with Doug Standup and all his boys. Really? There you go. Going to be fun. I don't end well. Work hard, play hard, baby. I like it. Mushrooms.

What else you want them to know? Is that it? I got merch, I got drawings that I drew that are doing really well. Great. Really cool. I like to be able to share my drawings with people. Love it.

Throw them on my shirts. So you can find those at annieletterman.com too. Trash Tuesday, check out my podcast. I also have my solo podcast week coming back, so you can follow me on YouTube for that. And watch all my old episodes of my old podcast. They're great. Love it.

We love it. Kip, what do you got for them? Just subscribe, rate, review the whole Nine Yards YouTube Patreon. Buy the merch while it's still available. Get it wild. Live shows, we keep announcing more dates. We have a shit ton of dates coming up, so check them out.

What a fucking episode. Boncos. Boncos. Annie, we love you. I can't be the biggest piece of trash you've had on YouTube. No, it's just wild stories. Wild.

I have so many. I gotta write a book. Yeah. 100%. I know. You need to write a book. Wild stuff, we love you. Thank you.

Thanks so much. See you next week. Peace.