Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Are You Garbage Goes to Court! (w/ Defense Attorney Todd Spodek)
Episode Date: November 28, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a special episode to go to Court! Todd Spodek, a top NYC defense attorney, helps Are You Garbage prepare for Trial. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching ...AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are
classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's
favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that have to go to be classy
Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash
Objection. I'm your host a truly coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's and a new edition
She is in central booking right now
I've heard tooties jammed up legally and we were thinking it'd be a good idea to get some legal expertise in here
Yes, and we're gonna figure it out. We're not naming the charges right now
We're not gonna public with any I heard Rico my co-host is coming at you from right next to me
Not affiliated with the age only corporation. He is the CEO of are you garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world as I say
He's the guys that make all the decisions. I'm just a patsy in this whole thing give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang?
Thanks for tuning in as always
Please make sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and obviously the greatest website of all time
www.patreon.com slash RU garbage you go over there you get all your bonus content gang
Yes, sir and gang like I said very special today. Very special guest here with us today for the
first time. He is one of the premier criminal defense
attorneys in these here United States. He is the owner
operator of the Spodak Law Group. Give it up for Mr. Todd
Spodak Esquire. Thank you very much. You're an Esquire, right?
I'm an Esquire. Nice. Great. Do you let people know that you're
a lawyer in situations? No. you know that like I try to keep
it. I try to keep it mellow. I'm not that kind of lawyer
who's going out there being like, guess what I do? But I
will show up on a podcast, but I will show up on a podcast
and I will tell people that I have the best dinner stories.
Okay, you're not going to beat me. Of course. Yeah, of
course. Some guy talking about their kids recital or something
like that. You got a triple homicide going exactly
Exciting so like if there's a situation in a restaurant or something like that and like, you know, you're sending back the steak They're giving you shit. You don't say hey, I'm a lawyer. No, I would never say I'll have the inspector in here in ten minutes
Yeah, definitely not. Okay, give us give us your light
Professional back story so we know what we're dealing with here. Sure. Some of your credentials. Yeah. Sure. How'd
you get into law? Where'd you go to law school? So, I was born
and raised in Brooklyn. Okay. Uh my law firm's based in
downtown Manhattan. Okay. My father was a lawyer. Okay.
Okay. I've been in the game for a long time. I grew up around
a lot of criminals. So, this is not new to me. Okay. Welcome to
the show. I know this world. I know where. Alleged criminals.
You know what I mean? Yeah. And uh I went to Pace Law School in White Plains,
which is the harbor of the East Coast.
Everyone knows that.
Sure, man, he's got the guts.
Good.
And now I'm in the game.
And now we do state and federal criminal defense
throughout the United States.
A lot of white collar cases,
a lot of really egregious criminal acts.
And this is what we do.
This is the life we live, and we love it.
Did you, when you got out, did you work for another?
This guy's good already.
He's all right.
I like him.
I'm feeling good about our chances here.
I'm walking scot-free, coppers.
Did you work for another law firm
or did you go work for your dad's?
So I came out of law school
and I went straight to trial work
and I started working with my dad
and doing trial work throughout New York City.
Do they give you cases right away
or are you getting coffees and shit like that at first?
I hit the ground running.
Obviously it takes some time to get familiar.
But if you're a trial lawyer, you're a trial lawyer
and you're comfortable in front of a jury
and in a courtroom or in a Tuddy's.
You know, you know the vibe.
Sure.
So there's a little bit of balance of both of those things.
What was your first case? My first first case was a juvenile who was jumped in Brooklyn from.
And it was a self-defense case, a justification.
He kicked somebody's ass. She she. Yeah.
That's a tough broad. Yeah.
OK. And I represented our trial and we raised justification,
which is self-defense prevailed.
And it was fucking awesome
You know you feel like a rock star and you really do help someone at the end of the day
Yeah, that's the rare case where you have someone who actually was in the right?
Well, she got off she got off how many people were jumping her?
Five people jumped and she came she won the fight. Yeah. No. Yeah get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I mean this was
This was a bunch of kids fighting
So it wasn't exactly Jake and Mike Tyson
Which was a great fight by the way, you know, it's a little bit of a different vibe
But yeah, she got off and it was look
I don't want to sound cheesy and be like wow, I did good blah blah blah
But it felt good to actually fight you. Yeah, you're
Affected the back girl the rest of that girls. She got brought up on charges, you got her off the charges.
What were the charges they were hitting her with?
So they were assault with a deadly weapon.
They were...
What was a deadly weapon?
So she wound up...
These hands, man.
No, she wound up taking out an umbrella, like a long umbrella,
and started to just knock people.
Are we talking about an umbrella you get at the bodegas or shitty ones
or like a golf umbrella?
We're talking about a full-fledged like legit reinforced umbrella
Okay, I think they're expensive. Yeah, like we're talking about the penguin from fucking Batman
But that's like this is how like my stupid law brain like I've a lot of my I've luckily been unscathed with the legal system
I find that hard to believe I know but a lot of my friends have you know face charges over you know
Some that serves some time I knew when to tow the line and get the fuck out of there before she did the fan
But that's one of those things I'm like in my head immediately go you got jumped by five people you grabbed an umbrella
You had to do what yes to me that's sure you know
Exactly, but like I guess it makes sense if they're like no that she has started attacking us
Or they go after the other people that or was it just now's it? No, so my client was ultimately charged because one of
them was somewhat disfigured. She hit someone in the face with the umbrella and it got scared.
But the trick is you got to be relatable. If you're going to testify at a trial, you got to relate
to the jury, they got to respect your story, they got to believe that you're being honest and you
got to take the good and the bad. You can't be an angel.
Nobody's an angel.
You can't be too polished.
You got to come across real and you got to be able to connect with people in a real way.
People in New York City, especially minors, people go to high school, junior high, they've
been in fights, they've been in assaults, they've been jumped.
They know what that experience is like.
When you're picking that jury, you think about that stuff and a lot of this is psychology.
Absolutely. If the jury doesn't like me as the defense lawyer, that's certainly
not liking my client. So that's what you do. If someone gets, but you feel the bad
vibe, you're like let's bounce this fucking guy. Yeah, absolutely. And so when you win that first
case, what's the celebration like? Is it like in Goodfellas when you walk out like
hey! Yeah, not exactly. This was more like chopped cheese and like a soda. You chopped cheese in a soda?
Yeah, you know this was a long time ago, but it was celebratory no matter what and I've had a number of
Homicides that I've won that I've had legit celebrations, and I've gone traveling with clients and things like that
Oh shit, you go out with them afterwards
Yeah, of course, what do you mean?
That's awesome
Let's take this down to Sandals for a couple of days
I know who my one phone call is going to
It's fucking PS And is that one phone call is that true you get one phone call
It's not it's not really true the the most important thing is you want to evoke your right to counsel right if you're jammed up
I don't say shit. He even used jammed up. I respect. Yeah
We sell shirts that say jammed up, but all right
Let's just say boom we get in a bar fight or something.
You get you end up in the back of a cop car.
What what is the what is the series of events that you should do as a as a defendant?
Yes. When we're done crying, what do we say?
So the immediate thing is to let the authorities,
whether it be state, local, federal, law enforcement, whoever.
Federal, what the fuck?
What do you think?
You got the fucking alphabet boys coming in.
But you gotta let them know
that you're invoking your right to counsel.
You have a lawyer, and once you do that,
that at least puts a buffer from you.
They gotta stop talking.
They gotta stop asking you questions, right?
They gotta stop asking you questions,
and the real problem is when people are excited
and they're overwhelmed and drunk and high and jammed up,
they talk.
Oh, you know me.
Yes, yes, yes.
And a lot of times they'll say something
that is a problem even though they don't think it.
So for example, they may commit that they were at the scene
or they may connect themselves to someone else.
I was walking by, I said hello,
and it's like now you're there.
Exactly, where it's much better for you to be like,
you know what, call my lawyer, I'm done.
I'm not here right now.
You didn't see me, I didn't see you, you don't know me.
I always, I watch a lot of first 48 and they never get a lawyer and they always end up doing time. They never go.
That's why there's a story about them.
They say to you if you just come clean now or whatever or just you know, that's they're all not
entrapment by any stretch of the imagination. Shout out to the lawn. Of course.
You just throw entrapment like you really know what that means.
No, I think, I think-
I've seen the movie.
There are instances where the police say, look, cooperate with us and we will present your case
to the prosecutor and to the Judge for leniency.
In a better light, yeah.
And there are cases where that does work, but that should be done pursuant to some sort of
proffer agreement or immunity or cooperation deal.
Not just you coked up at a fucking nightclub being like, oh cool, I'll work it out with
the police now.
Sure, sure, sure.
You say coked up at a nightclub?
Yeah, I mean that's when these things happen.
It's New York City.
Yeah, that's when these things happen.
I know your audience.
Come on.
There's a bunch of guys listening coked up at a nightclub right now.
They're like, shit, he knows me.
He's looking, they're like, fuck, they're all over us.
This guy's been following me.
I don't like that.
All right.
And you were mentioned before, you had a huge case recently.
So I did represent Anna Delvey, the German heiress,
and they did make a Netflix show about it.
I've seen the movie.
OK, so.
Damn, you were her lawyer?
Yes, I was her trial lawyer, and I represented her,
and I was a character in the show. I it me my wife loved that fucking show who played you
Did they screw you? No, it's it's the gentleman from succession Aryan more yet
I may be pronouncing the name right but Stewie from succession. Look it up. Let's see this. Oh, right
That's you. Holy shit
I'm happy that it's getting back up
Fuckin love it. Did he reach out to you? Yeah, so he was great. I spent time with him I went to set I met him and his name is Todd Spodek in the show. So it's I gotta go
Fucking love. Yeah. Yeah, it was a great show and he was great
And he did a great job and they recreated the whole set the courtroom the fucking
pens the scratches in the table everything
Refresh remember did she get off or no? So it was a mixed verdict
She won some of the charges which was I like that it's quite remarkable to
Yes, she was she was here hands were dirty. Yes. She was that's her rights
And then she was scamming people saying that she was a German heiress exactly and didn't have any money
Yeah, you should join the defense team
Your honor I call lunch break
Okay, wow okay, so so that case that case
You know generated a lot of publicity and attention and things like that and how long is that case run yet?
Cuz that's like the thing like I watch a lot. I watch I love the law and orders. I love the fucking first 48
They condense it it seems like a lot of I watch I love the law and orders I love the fucking first 48 they
condense it it seems like four days but isn't it stretched out of months so the
cases that I have I represent a lot of people for financial crimes so they're
long-term investigations they're paper-heavy cases so this is like they've
got or they are charged with yes so either the scheme in the books of
exactly either the state or
we'll be doing a long term
investigation. Could be wire fraud,
money laundering, scams, crypto
scams are obviously very prevalent
now.
So these cases take a long time to go
to trial no matter what.
And even when you're at trial, it
could be three months of trial.
And that trial was, I think, four to
six weeks or something like that.
And she didn't have any cash.
So is that something you do pro bono for the publicity?
No, so she wound up coming up with cash and then a deal was worked out with Netflix as well.
No shit.
Wait, hold on. Wait, Netflix paid some of your salary?
Yeah, Netflix was involved and it all worked out.
Get the fuck out of here!
Gotta love show business, man.
You can't hustle a hustler, man. Come on, you know that.
He gets his SAG card. I want points on the back end.
Get the fuck out of here.
Look at you.
That's sick.
So can I ask you, what do you walk away with something like that?
Fee wise or what?
Oh, the fees vary depending on the case, but look, it's a substantial amount of time.
You're looking at $50,000 plus dollars to dedicate any lawyer's time for that long.
Hundreds of thousands of hours.'s time for that long hundreds of
thousands of cases that go you know hundreds of thousands of dollars I
travel a lot for work so a lot of times I have to go and stay somewhere else to
be away from my kids sure now where else do you pro where else have you taken the
bar you know you're so I'm only licensed in New York but I get pro-hoc meaning I
get permission from the federal courts to practice in a federal court in other
jurisdictions so I have cases in Texas California practice in a federal court and other jurisdictions. So I have cases in Texas, California,
Las Vegas.
Was that a federal trial?
That was a state trial.
That was a state trial.
Okay, Southern District.
Southern District's federal.
Those guys don't mess around, did they?
Yeah, Southern District's serious.
You know, it's a premier US attorney's office.
A lot of people there, a lot of resources.
Okay.
Damn.
All right, damn, all right, this guy's got,
you're higher up than I am right higher. I know I know I literally
Okay, um, I got a quite off-the-wall question
Do you think you would have gotten the kids from my cousin Vinnie off? That's a great movie. Okay. I love that
I don't think I could do as good of a job
So every head must bow and respect it.
How do you like your grits?
Yeah.
Okay, and what is one glaring thing that you watch,
because we'll watch a comedy movie about standup
and you're like, ah, they missed it.
What do you see when you watch anything on TV
that you're like, that is Hollywood.
I think the most important thing really is you've got to be relatable and your client has to be
relatable the story has to be relatable so if you're selling a story whether
it's a murder a crypto fraud or rape case whatever it is you gotta touch her
you gotta have a story that makes sense the story has to work and it has to make
sense and a layperson has to hear it and say you know what I could understand
how this happened.
I understand this transpired.
You can't pretend that nothing happened, right?
You gotta be able to focus and say,
whatever I did may have been wrong, but it wasn't criminal.
Or it didn't rise to that level.
Or it has to be specific.
But you got 12 people analyzing the situation
and you gotta convince 12 of them to go all the same way.
Are you a guy that likes to get to the jury
or do you, do you?
You try to play it down, get a deal done.
Or do you agree?
And how much pressure do you put on the client for that?
All good questions.
So the vast majority of cases on the state level
and federal level settle.
That's the reality.
They just don't go to trial. That's statistic-wise,
throughout the United States, no matter what.
On the federal side, it's like 95% above,
you're gonna settle your case.
It's so expensive to go to trial, isn't it?
It's so expensive.
Long-term investigations,
your exposures through the roof, you wanna-
What's that mean, your exposures through the roof?
Your exposure to federal prison long-term.
Yeah, you're like, hey, it's like,
I could do 50 years or we're gonna get 10. If if you roll the dice well like let me give you a quick
example so in the federal system there's flipping this is all don't matter I'm flipping there's
something called acceptance of responsibility points if you accept responsibility early
you get three point reduction that three point reduction correlates to months in prison. So the system incentivizes you to resolve your case early.
So if you're charged by the feds, your exposure to federal prison,
which is real federal prison for a long time goes up as things keep going.
This guy can talk. I am you. I'm on the edge of my seat every time you talk.
Right. So to your second question being like,
how do you deal with clients like that?
I don't ever make the decision, okay?
But the reality is you have to protect your clients
and sometimes you have to be like,
look, there's no fucking way you're making out of this trial.
And if you want to go to trial, I will do that,
but it's really against my advice
and you're not gonna win.
Yeah, you have to.
Have you had that where they're like,
I'm on the time.
And is it do you think it's out of like pure innocent? Are they like, I'm genuine.
Have you had somebody where you're like, hey, this is a good deal.
But I believe every day, every day this morning.
What happens is there's different concepts, right?
There's the individual who committed an act and is like, I did not commit a crime.
And then there's the law.
Right. Like there are two separate concepts.
So someone could think in their head
that they're not guilty because of whatever reason,
but the law is elemental,
meaning it has elements that have to be met
and if you meet those elements, you're guilty of the crime.
And so a lot of times people don't realize that
and it's hard for them to register that.
And particularly when it's- This is freaking me the fuck out.
I know, dude.
No, but think of it in the context of money laundering.
We have a lot of cases where someone's involved.
Why are you bringing that up?
I'm in charge of the books over here, by the way.
And someone will have millions of dollars
funneled through their account for a friend, right?
And they don't know every aspect of what they did,
but there's enough in conjunction with the
vast amount of money and text messages and documents to support that they had
some knowledge that their account was being used to launder money. Are they
factually guilty? Like did they create a scam and hide the money and do it up? No.
But legally they're guilty. And that's a hard distinction for people to me.
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conditions apply. Do it do it. What does that mean exactly
launder money? Launder next question. Yes. Laundering money
is basically taking criminal proceeds and disguising the
true nature of it
So for example a drug dealer selling drugs and taking that money and investing it. I don't know in a podcast
Okay, all right, I got you so somebody now it makes sense
so somebody I Okay. All right. I got you. So somebody now it makes sense. So somebody. I start playing stupid. What are drugs? So somebody. So somebody could accidentally kind of be involved in something
like that. Like if their buddies like, hey, or the wife or something
they play. I know what's happening. You fucking know all the
time. I'm Ellen knew she played happening. You fucking know. Carmella
knew. She played dumb but she knew. You could do things a one off and you're likely not
exposed but if you do something on a regular basis. So if someone uses your account one
time and then you find out and you're like what the fuck you're not allowed to use my
account that's different. If you acquiesce and let someone use your account and wind
up taking a commission and the techs are like hey this is great let's keep doing it. No
you can't then get out of it.
Now, how do they get the techs?
Do they just turn those over?
How hard is it for the government to get your techs?
Oh, it's incredibly easy.
Dang.
Everything is, first of all,
every criminal thinks they're super stealth
and they're like, hey, my messages disappear on WhatsApp
and this is not the reality
because someone screenshots, people cooperate.
They're existing out there somewhere. They something and and if you are a smart criminal
You're not using a cell phone point blank really if you're a real criminal
You're not using a cell phone so as soon as you see a criminal with a cell phone. You know this
You're not stellar. This is not the Ivy League of criminals. So what do they do?
Like you know just say a high use the payphone outside of the pizzeria. I could only tell you what I see.
What I've seen is people who are very savvy they meet in person, they make
sure nobody's wearing wire. Talk to a couple people that's it. You're having
one conversation with one person and the recipient of that conversation is ten
people away. So whoever receives the message can never point it back to you
damn right I think of cartels or yeah
you know cartels are not hanging out
with fucking Pepe on 23rd Street being
like here's the drugs there's a
layers between your your shot I get some
distance between that one everybody
only talks to me to Tommy Cassidy
okay what's the one Luke you might know that all of my friends, it's like it's just
what it's the app that all drugged.
It's a texting app for drug.
There's like whisper.
There's yeah.
So there's hundreds of these apps.
Yeah.
Are they pretty telegram?
No.
Well, telegram has a number of problems, but the best app, the best apps are the ones that the sender controls.
So for example, there are various messaging apps.
I feel like I'm gonna get myself jammed up,
but there are various messaging apps
where I could send a message
and then I could delete the message on your phone.
Ooh, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
That's not bad.
But so the real trick,
if you're not looking to have any of your information public
is not talk about things that you wouldn't want someone to see
Anything connected to you remember sell site records alone pinpoint your location
Yeah, does that is that used a lot like they were they triangulated all day and you're there every day really?
That's what I'm saying. No real criminal has cell phones
Do I mean we're fucking up over here?
has cell phones. Damn, dude. You know what I mean? We're fucking up over here. Yeah.
Uh, okay. Cell phones and all that stuff have made it easier. Yeah, first of all, everything is documented. You purchase something, it shows where you are. You use the train,
it shows you where you are. It triangulates everything. The messages are stored on the cloud.
You could connect people from a conspiracy by pictures on Instagram and communications.
It's just so much.
But does that also make it easier to then get off?
Because that information is there of like he couldn't have done it.
Yeah, absolutely. It works both ways.
If you're fucking innocent.
If you're.
Yeah, we are.
Those folks don't prove it guilty.
I thought this was America.
You know, those folks are a glass of water glass of water on that note. Are few and-
Of course.
Far between, unfortunately, my line of work.
Of course.
Have you had anybody that you were like, this person is for sure dead innocent?
I've had a few cases that tend to be where a divorce happens and someone alleges rape
or physical abuse and you could just tell that it's motivated by spite and when you
do a deep dive,
you could see that person wasn't there
in any way, shape, or form.
Self-sex put them somewhere else.
There's an alibi, there's texts regarding
an evening of sex, things like that.
So that's when I've seen it.
Other than that, no.
Most people are involved to some degree.
You know, it's not like you got the wrong person altogether.
That is rare.
You were married to this guy.
You were married, you made that choice,
now you gotta live with it.
You do do marriage, do you recommend prenups?
I do marriage.
You do divorce.
So my firm has a division that does divorce and family law.
Yeah, of course I represent, of course I recommend prenups.
Fuck!
Absolutely.
I'm screwed.
Preenups are like-
I'm sleeping with Luke!
But I heard they're not fully-
Give us a quick rundown on prenups.
I mean, the easiest way to think about it is
you get married, right?
You're sharing income, you're sharing assets,
and if heaven forbid, you split up.
You need to have some easy way to divide these things.
Mm-hmm.
If you've ever had a breakup before,
you're familiar that those things never go well, right? It's pretty rare, especially for you two, that your prior
relationships went swimmingly, right? I'm sure you're getting hate mail to this day. So it
would be really convenient if when shit hits the fan you're like, oh shit,
remember when we invested $5,000 25 years ago? You take this fucking house, I
take this house, you take this **** house, I
take this house, you take
50000 and I take and we walk
away. So, a prenup is such a
small investment of money and
time that can save your life.
What's a prenup cost? Uh
$5000. 5 G's, huh? $5000,
something like that. You know,
they're hourly retainers but
$5000. What is the divorce course?,000? Is that what a divorce costs?
If you have money.
You gotta kill it, I'm kidding.
If you have, look, if you have assets,
obviously if you don't have assets,
you don't have these things,
you don't got nothing to fight about.
But even poor people who have nothing
are fighting all day long.
Yeah, yeah.
It's tough, yeah, well there's so much emotion involved
in that.
Yeah.
And it's fucked up in New York and in a lot of states.
If you're the moneyed spouse, you have to pay the attorney's fees for the other side. Yeah.
So now your wife's fucking someone else.
The lawyers are fucked every way possible.
It's just crazy.
Not you, obviously, but have you ever known?
Get out here.
Have you ever known colleagues that have gotten caught up in that?
Like, you know, they're dealing with a divorce.
They start banging the wall. Oh, my God. Yeah.
You could look it up. They're hot sex.
It's in those videos. It's right.
Al Pacino. It's a it's a ripe situation for problems.
Sure. Emotions are high.
Motions are high. You're celebratory sometimes.
Sure. You need attention blah blah blah
I mean I look I've never seen it in my personal circle of friends and colleagues
But there are lawyers and they get in trouble and it's you know, you could look on the post
That's not illegal though for a lawyer to start banging. It's unethical. You're gonna go in front of the board you can't
Ethically, you cannot really enter into a relationship with a client. When they're no longer your client, that's fair game.
But while they're your client.
I'll be texting Todd later tonight.
Hey, what are you wearing?
Yeah.
Speaking of divorce in the Sopranos, which is 98% of my personality,
when Carmelo wants to go ahead with the divorce proceedings,
one of some lawyer tells Tony to go around and meet with
all the top defense or all the top divorce lawyers in the
area so that she can't.
I conflict is that true?
Yeah, absolutely.
So what happens is if you come to me to my firm for a divorce
consultation, I tell me all your business and all your finances
and then you decide not to hire me.
I possess that knowledge if your wife or one of your baby mom is I don't know how many you got at this point in time, comes
to me and wants to talk to me about the case, but I know this information that I wouldn't
know but for you telling me, I cannot talk to her. So if you were smart and you hit a
few people, you know.
Take out some of the big wigs.
You know, it's a savvy move.
Is everything with you under lawyer confidentiality,
even if somebody just just goes and gets a consultation? Yeah,
absolutely. So I keep secrets for a living. No matter what
they tell you. No matter what they don't know. Kid, dad, I
would die. Somebody comes in says, Hey, I killed a homeless
guy. Yeah, I've had people come to my office who have killed
people that day. No shit. Fuck, daddy. That's smart, though. Is that what you would recommend? Not obviously that. No shit. Fuck that. That's smart though.
Not obviously that.
No, I don't recommend
homicide as a general activity.
At all. Of course.
But I'm just saying, if that were to happen
seeking counsel right away is probably smarter.
There's a number of smart things. One,
everything's fresh, right? So surveillance
video that you could obtain is fresh. Eyewitness statements are fresh. If you're going to be there's a scenarios about that, right? One is if you're wanted. So if you know the NYPD has an I-card,
which means an internal document that says
they're gonna pick you up,
or an arrest warrant, or a bench warrant,
and you know you're gonna get arrested,
you could hire a lawyer,
and your lawyer could arrange for you to surrender.
And they're cool with that, typically.
Yeah, and it's smarter for everyone.
They don't have to go look for you.
You surrender on your own accord.
You're prepared.
You're wearing the appropriate clothes.
You have what you're allowed, money, you know, change.
You don't have, I don't know, fucking a cell phone
that's gonna get, you know, put into property vouchers
and things like that.
And then you get to go before a judge and say,
Judge, there's no reason to hold me or issue bail.
I'm not gonna run.
I knew I was under investigation.
Here I am.
I walked myself into the precinct.
I walked myself into the court. I knew I was under investigation. Here I
am. I walked myself into the
precinct. I walked myself into
the court. I surrendered to the
marshals, the FBI, so on and so
forth. That's pretty good. I
had a buddy get arrested for
his movie. He's just moving a
little bit of weight. He's dead
now so I can talk about it but
the cops, you know, came up on
his house and he raised all of
them and ran upstairs and put on his suit like he was in the mob. Is that so he walked out. He walked out in a suit.
I was like, that's fucking I respect that.
When you say appropriate attire, what is the appropriate attire?
It's what do you want to get arrested in?
Yeah, these if we were going, you know, I think you guys look like a possession charge or something.
I mean, I think they were sharp.
I think you kind of want to look schlubby a little bit.
I mean, it depends on it.
It depends on your cash. it depends on your angle.
It depends on your angle.
Okay, yeah let us.
So there are some cases, for example, at DWI where in New York City the judges rotate.
It's not like you're going to be with the same judge.
It's not going to remember you, it's not going to know you, it's going to make no difference.
But if it's a more serious case and it's one judge throughout your case, absolutely.
First impressions matter, how the judge views you recidivism
deterrents, specific deterrents
general to all these things
matter.
And if you show respect to the
court at a minimum, that's a
variable they're going to take
into consideration.
What do you think about that
guy that jumped over the thing
and fucking clothesline the
judge that was bananas.
That's crazy.
That was sideways.
Yeah, that was jammed up.
He's totally jammed up.
That would be a don't.
I mean, on so many levels that situation is terrible, but yeah, everyone saw that.
It's horrible.
And look, these judges and law enforcement and defense lawyers, it's not an easy world.
Not at all.
Dealing with people who-
Sure.
Much respect.
Are facing significant sentences.
Worst period of their lives a lot worse exactly
That's what I tell everyone when they come to my office. That's the worst day of their life. Yeah, that's a strain
I never I know you again. I've heard that about cops, too
It's like you see a cop typically at your lowest no one's like I just won the lottery. Let's grab beers
It's like you know whatever happened, and that's a big part of criminal defense work is managing that relationship.
If you cannot manage that relationship,
it's gonna be impossible to succeed as a defense lawyer.
Gotcha.
Have you had anybody, any of your clients
where you're like, you gotta put on something
better than that?
Yeah, of course.
This is not the time to make political statements.
This is not the time to do something that could.
The president made me do it.
And also it's a very thin line as a defendant.
Like you're constantly balancing like you want to do right and get the best result.
Right.
And you don't want to get yourself in further trouble.
So you should always dress accordingly, act accordingly, be respectful, not on your phone and keep your mouth shut.
Keep your mouth shut and just play the game
This is a game. You got to play the game like in anything in life. Um something
I always like in movies is
So you got the detectives and all that stuff, but then like the DA's office has like their own investigators
Yes, they're always like older grizzled dudes. Yes. Yeah, like a snub-nosed 38
They know what they got all the fucking hookups on dudes. Yes. Got like a snub nose 38. They know all they
got all the fucking hookups all
that stuff. I love those kind of
characters. Does your as a
defense attorney, do you guys
have somebody on the other side
of that? Yeah, absolutely. So
those guys are great, especially
in Danny in Manhattan. Those
guys have been there for years.
They know the city inside out. They really maneuver it in real-time. I wish I knew the city inside out. And they know a different version of the city
than the layperson.
So we have private investigators on our side
who are prior law enforcement,
both on the state and federal level, that are similar,
are paid significantly more.
Sure, private sector, that's what you do.
It's the private sector, and they have
alternative sources of information
that sometimes the government doesn't have.
So for example, they may know people on the street.
They're connected.
They're more connected.
They got CIs and snitches all over the goddamn city.
They're no people who are more involved in particular crimes or investigations and sometimes
legally and ethically could provide some information that only a source like that could provide.
Has it ever gotten hairy for you? Like, have you ever had to like shake a tail in Chinatown or source like that could provide. He's good. He dropped legally and ethically. Has it ever gotten hairy for you?
Have you ever had to shake a tail in Chinatown
or anything like that?
I mean, I'm doing this a long time.
Obviously, I've been in some difficult situations.
But I've never felt unsafe or anything like that.
I felt uncomfortable where it's probably
best I wasn't at a meeting or at a restaurant or something
like that.
But that's a personal choice
You know I'm not trying to be that close either. You know I got you you know damn man. You're fucking the coolest guy
I ever met all right. Let's talk a little bit right talk about flipping no
All right, let's just say you get pulled over, right?
Let's go a little more low level crime that we might be able to help out some of our listeners
here.
None of this Bitcoin's fucking money laundering.
No, um.
Let's keep it half a gram and under.
Personal use.
Personal use.
Let's just deal with the next 24 hours of our respective lives.
Let's just say, you know, you get, because one of the big things in the early 2000s,
it was a JZ, to quote the great JZ,
the glove compartment's locked and so is the trunk in the back.
I know my rights, so you're going to need a warrant for that.
And then me and my dirt bag friends, that was our excuse.
It's in the trunk. It's in the glove box.
They need a warrant. Is that true?
Yeah, absolutely. So, really?
Well, let me let me backtrack.
So, first and foremost, if if you're in a
situation with law enforcement, you have to just comply. It's
not it's not for you to have that conversation about the
legality of a search. What do you think about? Alright, let's
let's pull it back even one step. You get pulled over. You
get pulled over. The first thing you want to do is the
first thing you want to do is make sure you don't get
**** shot, right? So, put your hands up. Sure. Make sure they know that you're not a risk to their safety for everyone's
benefit. Yeah. This is not the time to act fast. So don't get out the window like, ah,
what took you so long? Just put it to be going. I know. Yeah. Just put your hands up and be
respectful and let them do what they have to do. And what about that bullshit that people
do? They just crack the window. Like, oh, I know my rights. I just know I don't do any
of that shit. Exactly.
Your position is I've been pulled over.
I'm going to respect authority.
I'm going to do things the right way.
Gotcha.
I'm going to deal with the issues at the appropriate time.
If you're going to litigate the search, the seizure, probable
cause, reasonable.
So you would say not recommend, but say they find it,
then they search the trunk.
You can then go to you and go
They didn't have a war like you then fight that
If it was my client or I'm recommending to your listeners of police come you'd be respectful you do not
Voluntarily open the trunk. Yeah, you're not legally required to do that
You don't voluntarily open the glove compartment. You certainly don't make admissions to anything
You don't voluntarily open the glove compartment. You certainly don't make admissions to anything.
If they say, is there anything in the car we should know about?
You should say, I'm invoking my right to counsel.
Speak to my lawyer.
What if you don't have a lawyer?
You could still invoke your right to a lawyer.
You get a public defender.
But he's just going after you.
I ain't telling you shit.
Then what do they do?
They just arrest you?
Then, depending on the circumstances,
they may go get a search warrant.
Right?
Maybe they have it.
Right there on the spot?
Oh, yeah.
They call it in.
I thought that took a couple of days. Not calling to the judge.
Absolutely not. We got a guy here.
Car smells like whatever. Or whatever.
We got a call that someone was robbed and they made this description
and it fits this car and the individuals in the car and they could go to a judge
and try to get a warrant and they get a warrant. They could get in.
But without the warrant, you won't do anything.
You say, I'm invoking my right to an attorney.
If you're savvy enough, depending on the situation, you may't do anything. You say, I'm invoking my right to an attorney.
And if you're savvy enough, depending on the situation,
you may have a lawyer on retainer,
and your lawyer could come there.
Yeah.
No kid will show up.
Listen, if it makes sense.
Yeah, you're just driving, and you
have a little bit of marijuana or something in the car.
Probably not.
But if you're a target of a long-term investigation
and you're moving weight.
And you know that there are real issues
that are gonna happen irrespective
of what they find in your car,
or it's a stop on purpose
because they're trying to confirm identity,
a location or something like that,
you should call your lawyer.
They were tailing you.
Or anything, they could be connecting you
to a warehouse or a car.
A warehouse?
What are we, Gotham?
What the fuck, warehouse? These know? What are we, Gotham? What the fuck?
Warehouse?
These crazy dudes are, you know.
Just listen, it's easy to forget,
but there's nine million people in New York City.
There's real criminals doing real criminal shit, you know?
I'm just trying to get a bag, dude.
Okay.
Huh.
Okay.
Yeah, but you gotta be smart.
You gotta be smart.
But to answer your question,
it's for your lawyer to litigate the search and seizure.
Not for you, at that moment,
To be the lawyer.
Of high tension with people with guns to argue it.
Very smart.
I never thought of it that way.
I'm invoking my right to counsel.
If you want me on the floor, I'm on the floor.
I'm not opening anything.
If they take your keys and open, so be it.
You deal with it.
You can fight that.
Exactly.
The lawyer will fight that.
That's smart.
That's very smart.
And obviously you could have a camera in your car, which helps
Well, that's what a lot of I mean that's
Everything now everything's recorded and that's certainly smart particularly if you're a criminal
Which we are not by the way, we are not this is all speculatory
I assume you got some high-level clients that you are on retainer
So that if they call you're down there exactly so middle of the night doesn't matter
Yeah, absolutely so we have a lot of clients like that you throw a suit on when you run down there
Yeah, and we have suits in the office in case we have
Great great great pivot how many suits do you own? Oh, I own there's a question
We ask everybody I got out 30 to 40 suits no shit, but I wreck suits remember
I'm not living the high life. It's not like a Goldman Sachs banker, right?
I'm running into jails and criminal court like I'm not living that life
So the suits that I have through them they wear through so it's not that I'm like sure gosh at the golf
You know with all my suits
It's that you just I get a lot of wear and tear gotcha even though I'm sexy as hell the suit still get Right of course. I got a little bit of swag
Do you have any guidelines personally for yourself as far as like I'm not gonna wear this tie today?
I don't like this tie does any does the case does the judge?
Does the a bit of a flashier tie would wear that for like a white collar um so I personally like her mes ties
He does okay Okay I do.
That's like my one little indulgence.
Okay I'm not gonna lie.
You're a dirtbag, I love it.
But it's a valid question.
So for example, I did a trial in Tampa,
a federal trial recently,
and after the case was over I got to speak
to the jury about things,
and they mentioned like that they saw my watch
and they thought it was flashy.
Whoa.
New York lawyer comes down here.
Exactly, yeah.
You're not gonna tell us.
Right, and so that, and I take all that sort of
constructive criticism to heart, and I believe it.
You're doing focus groups after a trial?
Yeah, well you wanna find out what works,
what didn't work.
Get the fuck outta here.
Well, you're allowed to talk to the jurors.
Hey, what jamming me up here?
What would you guys like?
Also, you could get information you may not have gotten unless you spoke to them.
Maybe there's an issue for appeal or maybe there's something to...
Oh, we thought this when they said that.
One of the other jurors told me we could be a danger or someone slipped me money or I don't
know.
Have you had that happen?
No, I've not had that happen.
Damn, huh.
It's pretty legit.
Everything's legit.
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Have you ever been close to being held in contempt?
I've had some circumstances that I, you know.
Like one more time.
You're in trial, you're worked up.
You know, lawyers, criminal defense lawyers,
live and breathe their cases, good criminal defense lawyers.
So if you have a case and you're passionate about it
and you've been working for two months
and maybe two years to get to that point,
it becomes your life.
And if you feel strongly about something,
you can easily be held in contempt.
And this just happened with young Thug in Atlanta, right?
The lawyer was held in contempt.
And now in reality, that lawyer did a phenomenal job
protecting his clients, right?
And it worked out in his favor in his got him off, right?
He got him a plea that looks free, you know, he got him a plea that he wouldn't have gone
But that's that's your point that happens and the lawyer that's it's a very difficult position for a lawyer to be but that's assault
Of the earth lawyer who stood his ground. Yeah, that's great. And that's why young Doug is living la vida loca now
Is it true in this system that obviously, you know, the better
someone is at their job, the better it is.
How do I plan on my word this?
Be careful.
Tread lightly, Mr. Foley.
No admissions on the record.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's just that the more expensive the lawyer, the better
the lawyer.
The more, the better your chances of getting off are.
Okay, so I'll be honest and address that
really in a comprehensive way.
So one, there are lots of lawyers out there
that are snakes and charge lots of money
and don't do good work.
If you talk to my dad, it's all of them.
And there are lots of good lawyers
that charge a lot of money and do tremendous work
and they really provide comprehensive representation.
So it's not a perfect answer, but 100% you need the resources to do the job, right?
Lawyers have to make money just like anyone else.
So how much time is your lawyer realistically going to dedicate to your case for X amount
of money?
That's kind of how you have to look at it, right?
So a lot of times clients come in and they try to bargain and this or that., Yeah, so I try to have very realistic conversations of what expectations that are what's a realistic goal for your case
But 100% it's expensive. It's time-consuming. We have a large staff people dedicated to your case
You got to have the resources or we're not the right fit. Do you guys do a payment plan or do you?
Yeah, we work. Yeah, we have a finance department. Oh no shit. Yeah, they do payment plans
They have various things that could help you so you get jammed up. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do. They legality behind if again, dirt bag drug dealers. If you're a cop, you gotta tell me.
So it doesn't really work that way.
It sounds like you're referencing someone
who's an undercover, right?
Yeah.
An undercover.
Cover buying something.
There's no right line rule that says,
oh, tell me if you're a cop and they have to do that.
That's movie lore.
But you shouldn't be in that situation to begin with right if you're having a conversation with someone
You're like I'm doubting whether you're an actual purchaser of drugs or police
You probably should not have entered the room should be some guy is right sure not be in that
This guy's a straight shooter dude. You're ready not exceeding as a criminal. Yes. Yes
I always had and you know, I'm just being honest here
you know I had I had some issues with with
Substances years ago or whatever. I know I always was very paranoid about it
but in reality is
Like as far as like an investigation
Nobody's really looking for the end user. No, absolutely not
No, he would get caught up in his apartment and be worried that the
Fuck the fuck the feds were coming. No absolutely not
Looking at the people thinking they're coming to get you law enforcement has limited resources at the end of the day right especially in New
York City especially on the federal level, they want big suppliers, distributors.
They're not looking for someone who's a small user.
But how do you get to those people?
You shake them down.
You get to the small users.
That's it.
Yeah, OK.
So a lot of times what happens is if you're a middle, sort of low-level, mid-level drug
dealer and you get jammed up, you're going to explore your options and one option is
going to be cooperating against someone higher and that's the game.
Unfortunately, that's the reality.
I'm talking end, end, end, end.
Yeah, but no, absolutely not.
Fingers in the button.
And the truth is, and this goes back to the lawyer
and sort of the skill set,
but there's all these alternative programs in New York
for low level possession cases,
even cases where you have possession intent to sell,
where you could get judicial diversion and the case gets dismissed by doing some treatment.
So if you're savvy as a criminal defense lawyer, there is an angle of that,
which is take the facts of your case and make them fit into something else.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
We'll represent drug dealers who have significant amounts of weight,
and they have a drug issue and they need treatment.
So you can get them to do a six month program.
That's the reality of a lot of drug dealers of that level, right?
You buy enough so you have some.
Sure.
We used to call it a head stash.
You know, that's getting high on your own supply.
But I will tell you something.
I'll tell you something that is a problem is
Idiots buying drugs online
We have clients that's insane to go on the dark web and get coke and meth and get and get it
Like is it like large amounts or like like an eight ball, you know?
It'll be enough but what the fuck you're literally buying it with crypto
That is traceable one way or the other to a wallet,
to something, to your IP, to something,
and then it's gonna ship to your fucking house
or your apartment.
Jesus.
Like that is insane.
That's insane to me.
Like that's truly insane, you know?
But if you happen to get jammed up,
you know who to call, got you.
Yeah, dude.
This is all right.
On those terms, and This is strictly hypothetically
Extra do you want to get a bag?
Extradition wise
just as
Somebody with expertise. Where would you go if you didn't want to get sent back? I
Mean, it's complicated because obviously the vast majority of countries do have treaties sure
But there are some trees that will send you back I mean, it's complicated because obviously the vast majority of countries do have treaties. Sure.
But there are some-
Treaties that will send you back.
Yeah, and it's a nightmare.
You get picked up in a foreign country and you're going through extradition and then
going to get extradited to the United States.
That's an epic nightmare.
But you got to go to their prison for a little while.
Then you got to wait for the marshals or whoever to come pick you up and bring-
You're probably begging for them at that point.
Well, exactly.
So almost every case that we have where someone is gonna be extradited
We generally advise them to waive extradition and come back almost every day gotcha
But there are countries that if you get picked up down and you can't say that hey
I'm gonna go straight to the fit and also it goes back to if you're gonna be extradited think about it on a financial
Crime if you're gonna be extradited from Spain, let's say and face charges
I'm not going to be in In the Southern District, right?
And now you're going before a judge who's like, you have no ties to the US.
You've committed a large scale financial fraud.
You don't have much going for you to stay out of prison pending trial.
But if you knew about an investigation, voluntarily flew over-
Returned yourself.
Like, look, it's a good sign of good faith.
Exactly.
So that's that.
But certainly-
You guys are looking for me.
But there are countries, Lebanon doesn't, you know- Really? I'd rather do 35 years. Exactly. So that's that. But you guys are looking for me. But there are countries, Lebanon doesn't, you know, really, I'd rather do 35 years. I don't know. I'm fucking Rikers.
You know, I was gonna say there are some places that I don't know. Can't cook something nice.
Yeah. No, can't cook. You're dead to rice. You're coming home. Okay. Yeah. Now what is,
have you had or what's the you get set bail? And like Little that it's 10% right if you get a million dollars bail you got to put up a hundred thousand
So yeah, there's there's three different types of bail traditionally in New York right this cash bail
Which is fifty thousand you bring fifty thousand dollars you post it with the court you get released
What does that money go who's getting that cash?
It's just held in an account and then released to you at the end of the case minus a 3% administrative fee.
Oh, so you get that back?
That's straight cash bail.
You get back.
Even if you get convicted or not?
Absolutely.
That's just a...
That's just so you show up, right?
It's a security, right?
It's saying to the court, look, I'm coming back.
You're holding $50,000.
When this case is over, I get it back no matter what.
Now, if you abscond, if you abscond, if you...
Bound it. Hit Lebanon.
If you get peace, you know what I mean? If you're out, then they forfeit that money.
Yeah. And that does happen.
The state gets that.
And the state gets it.
Gotcha.
So that's one. Then there's partially secured bonds, which is you're paying a percentage,
10% to the court, and you're showing to them that you have sufficient financial
resources to pay the whole thing in the event your loved one.
You do.
Gotcha.
And that's another option, and then there's bail bonds.
Dog the bounty hunter.
Which is, we have run that, so you get, they put the money up?
Yeah, so for example, someone gets arrested in the bond.
I love Dog the Bounty Hunter.
And the bail's $50,000.
One option, someone comes to court, pays $50,000 cash.
One option is a partially secured bond,
which you're paying 10%,
which will be higher than the 50,000.
So it'll be like 100,000.
You're paying the court 10%.
You're signing the bond, proving to the court,
look, I work full-time, this is what I do,
here's how much I make, here's my savings,
here's everything, and the court approves you, you're released
and you get that money back.
And then there's a bail bondsman who charges a fee.
So they take the 10%, but then they also charge
their own fee and they may require collateral.
They may say, I'll post the 50,000 or 200,000
because it'll be higher, but you pay me 10%
and you put up your house, right?
Because they're taking the risk,
they're underwriting it for you.
So it gets complicated.
And back to your question about having a lawyer on retainer,
the more sophisticated the criminal,
the more sophisticated bail package
they're gonna have prearranged for when shit hits the fan.
What do you mean?
Like they'll already have.
Set up perfectly so the day it goes down.
I got 100 grand in an account, here's a house.
Here's all clean money.
Here's tracing it. It's nothing to do with anything.
You know, bail bondsman's on call, whatever you're sure.
It's already worked out. So it goes call my lawyer.
He's executing everything. Exactly.
I'll be out of here for lunch. And but that's why back to
obviously that costs money. All these things cost money
because it's time. So it is valuable, right?
It is a valuable service. The less time you're in prison, certainly the better.
So Lebanon, huh? Any anywhere else?
There are other countries that don't extradite. Does Russia extradite?
Belize? Russia? No, no. Russia. Russia is a problem.
Yeah, go over there and play ball though. But the problem is all these countries are
at war. Like, I don't know, I don't know if you really.
I roll my dice with three hots and a con.
Yeah, I'm not sure what you're into, but.
Costa Rica?
I think Costa Rica does extradite.
Best!
Pretty much all the countries that you would think
would extradite would extradite, right?
It's the ones that you don't want to go to, right?
It's like those random TikTok videos
where it's like, I'm a fucking world traveler.
Here I am at like the one person in Iran, it out. Yeah, you could go there, too
our verbal agreements legally binding
Hard to prove so it's not a question of whether they're legally binding they can be but somehow you have to prove it
Extrinsically how you're going to prove that you have that so both people have to like yeah
We said that we said that then or we agreed that I was going to buy your computer for $500.
Whoa, hey, let me wipe it first.
And then there are some texts to support that.
And then he's a witness to our conversation.
And then I sent you $500 and you wrapped it up, something like that.
OK. But again, why the fuck would you have a verbal contract
when you could write it all out on a piece of paper quite easily?
I do
Same as like the prenup. It's the same analysis, right?
Why would you be in that situation to begin with?
Uh-huh
Yeah, Kevin
Yeah
You're thinking about your business agreements
I'm a very handshake kind of guy
Which?
No, always you gotta have an agreement
You gotta have agreements
You gotta do it the right way
It avoids issues
We could write up a little dissolution agreement when we're done with this
He's already closed. Do you ever eat in the courtroom in the courtroom? Yeah, like what if you got hold on your honor?
Let me just take down this trial day and you're there for eight hours. Yeah, so some almonds or something
You know the good thing about Manhattan is there's great inexpensive quick food everywhere. Chinatown is right next to the port.
So I'll take down some soup dumplings real quick if I have to.
But I'll bring something in my bag, almonds or a little protein bar or something.
You wouldn't bring the dumplings in there, right?
No, I'm not bringing the dumplings.
No, no.
Is it very much, again, like go back to like Law and Order, like the TV shows,
like you walk out and do you like then have a back and forth with the DA on that big set of stairs?
Oh yeah, you guys chop it up. Good job, McCoy. I'll see you next time. You walk out and do you like then have a back and forth with the DA on that big set of stairs?
Good job McCoy. I'll see you next time.
Obviously, that's a very glorified
Voting but 100 look, you know these lawyers, you know the prosecutors, you know the judges you're there every day
You know my firm is Elise and you have a rapport with them right and and and it's very collegial It's very professional. So you look, you did a great job, or I can't believe this happened to trial,
or something like that, but no,
it's not like the whole world stops
and I walk down the steps gracefully,
and the music plays, and everything's perfect.
Produced by Dick Wolf.
Are there lawyer bars down there that are nice
that you guys like to go to?
Yes, yes, there are a lot of, so,
I'm not gonna say they're nice.
Of course, okay.
Behind criminal court, there's
a few bars that all the court staff, the officers, lawyers,
defense lawyers, gone.
It's fun.
It's crowded.
Lawyers drink.
Have you gone to lawyers drink?
Good lawyers drink.
Have you gone after a sort of bad comedian?
Have you gone after a long day and sit there
and had like a scotch?
No.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Come on.
And what do you mean, especially if you have, listen, if you're on trial all week and you have a client with you at the end of the week and he's
Out or she's out like she's not incarcerated. They're gonna want to have a drink with you cocktail
They want to spend that time they want to connect. Have you ever had anybody on house arrest? Yeah. Yeah, that's a federal thing
That's not a state. I mean it exists in the state, but it doesn't practically exist
So on the federal level, I think I've any with the skinny
I have lots of clients on house arrest on the federal level is there do you ever see Michael Clayton?
Yeah, one of my favorite movies. Yeah, great. It's a fantastic. That's all I got
You want to go watch it and get a whiskey and some other dudes like that? Yeah, absolutely
Listen, there's there's the thing was awesome
The thing about the fixer criminal defense lawyers are they're usually
like involved in a lot of things and they know a lot of people and sometimes
you wind up in business with people and different things all legally all
ethically sure but you're in you know opportunities present themselves whether
it be someone selling a bar selling a house XYZ so yes there are people like
that there are people who know the right people to fix a situation or could certainly expedite situations
same way I could get bail posted probably quicker than someone else
because I do that all the time yeah and I know the shortcuts to do it nice is
there anything you could see at your law firm where you could use a couple of
guys like us listen put me put me on the payroll.
There's always opportunities.
I mean, we're not from the streets or anything like that,
but like I said, you know, I got a past.
You need a guy to do blow.
That's what he's asking.
No, but you know what I mean?
I know how to handle myself.
Where?
I don't know.
At the dumpling shop?
I think you both seem really relatable and I think people would relate to you.
So I'm talking like CI work.
Investigate.
Do a stakeout.
Yeah, I don't think on my end, but I'm certain that there are opportunities out there.
You might want to check LinkedIn or something.
I do accents.
All right, mate, give me the drugs.
I'm blunching it. what's the deal with citizens arrests
Citizens arrests are a nonsense thing that don't really happen
Okay, it never happens and good luck trying to arrest someone to be like this is a citizen's arrest
Okay, you're getting fucking like it kills left and right all over the place. It's a crazy world out there
I would not recommend anyone be like, okay today
I'm gonna get my paper badge and do some sure
What's the lunch situation over at the office when like a client ways to a big spread?
Yeah, when like a feeling you got a high dollar client. You got a conference room over there, right? Yeah
Yeah, okay, who conference right? Let's check one make sure you know
That's a you gotta make sure you have that they walk in fucking meetings in his office
Fuck am I high-end criminal defense attorney better have a goddamn conference room
You got the spread out the bagels. No, we don't really do it like that
If someone's there we have a kitchen that has some like light refreshments, you know, you got what kind of water you got?
You got you got sparkling water. Yeah, you do Pellegrino. Oh, you do Pellegrino. Yeah, come on La Croix also
We come into the office right now. What do you got?
La Croix.
What about a snack?
We have some protein bars, some Power RX bars, things like that.
We have a lot of chewing gum.
Lawyers talk a lot, you don't have chewing gum.
But if you were coming and we're having a real meeting, we may order lunch.
I'm paying for that though, right? Well,
it depends. It depends on the situation. Sometimes I'm paying
sometimes you're paying. Do you usually do lunch at the office?
I don't eat lunch. You're fucking hired. Fucking I haven't
had lunch in 15 years. I don't fuck with lunch. Yeah. Really?
Yeah. No. I'm on the grind until dinner, but then I'm eating
a proper dinner. Did you have breakfast? Do you have breakfast sometimes?
What are you having for what you have a breakfast today eggs at the house at the house you so you get it
What is it take us through take you into my personal life?
You're damn just wake up somebody that's gotta have their shit together. I have two small kids two small kids. I have two dogs
Okay, so my house is hectic. Okay, so in the morning. What time you getting up?
I get up between five and six what time do you go to bed?
Ideally by like 11 damn. That's fucking I blow my
Yeah, if I don't get 19 hours. I'm fucking yes. I ain't worse
Yeah, and I'm on the phone 24 7 yeah, yeah, you have two phones. I'm on the phone 24 7
So when I do check out I want to be off. Don't call me. I don't want to talk to anybody. But you have situations where and I'm sure clients where
100%. You're you're available. Are there people you're available to do 24 7? Yes. Are we two of them? Yes.
I emailed you. The producers.
Sure, okay. Yeah, but anyway, so when I wake up
I have to deal with the kids and the dogs.
Of course.
So I have a boy and a girl,
and they both have to get out of bed.
Right.
Which alone could be like a three hour process.
Sure. Gotcha.
Then they gotta get dressed, which is like,
it's seven o'clock at this point, okay?
It's basically dinner time.
Damn.
And then I gotta get them to school.
I take them to school.
That's one of the things I like to do.
Okay. That's great.
You know, so that's a priority for me,
and I make that a priority every day, and I take the dogs when I walk my daughter to school. My son one of the things I like to do. Okay. That's great. You know, so that that's a priority for me and I make
that a priority every day and I take the dogs when I walk my
daughter to school. My son takes the bus and it's hectic. Then
you come back and have your eggs. No, this is that
breakfast. So I'm making them breakfast and I'm eating. I'm
cooking and eating. Scrambies? Scrambies. Of course. Come on.
Cheese? Depends. Sometimes my son doesn't want cheese. Okay.
That's pretty good. Yeah. Come over sometime. I'll make it for good Yeah, I think you would sometime. I'll make it. I would never leave dude
He will never leave you would have to have like some time in the morning to like get your shit together focus
Yeah, no, I think you should talk to my wife about that. I think I'm defending it to your wife
I got one final quite more of a do you think the guy in making a murderer did it?
Did you see that I did see that and what do you think? I think he did it
You think he did it? Yeah making a murder. They gotta put the push in the lady down the steps. No, that's the staircase
Yeah, did you watch that one? I don't want that one's pretty crazy. No, there's a listen true crime right now
Is that like an all-time? Yeah, like people are obsessed every day. There's another amazing story
Menendez brothers is all over the news
You think they're gonna get out I?
Think they are gonna ultimately get out. Yes, I do. I think served like 35 years
I think the dynamic has changed the science of that type of evidence has changed abuse of males
It's more prevalent more prevalent. They kind of swept out under the rug when they tried them, right? Yeah, I think they did. And that's a hard balance.
You know, like there's no question that they shot and killed their parents
at point blank range, which certainly is an atrocious, horrible act.
And these people suffered immensely.
Like you said, there's some things you that you can't write.
Exactly. Listen, I'm not one to sugarcoat the thing.
But at the same time, at the same time he's gonna add
there's no evidence that they did it but at the same time if they were in fact
abused that's a significant driving force you know and and that deserves a
punishment that's different than just a straight murder right sure yeah it's a
variable circumstance yeah that's what that's what this all is it's all these
variables that are playing and massaging it in to go this
I mean
What's your favorite steakhouse in the city Peter Lugers? Obviously Brooklyn kid?
I have the menu framed in my office. No you really of course why yeah, I love Luger's
What's the order run me down the order?
Poor house medium-rare. I don't go like depending on how many people are at the party. I don't go too big though
That's a rookie mistake
So let's say you have six people I only go five porterhouse for five right because you're never gonna want that much because you're gonna
Have the bread with the cocktail so as you already took down like two pieces of bacon
You got the cream spinach the onions on those onions you You got the home fries. So I'm already in deep
That's my menu. That's my meal. What's your cocktail kicking off the dinner at a steakhouse dirty martini blue cheese olives my man
Vodka martini. Yeah
What kind of vodka Tito's come on man Brooklyn? What do you think? I'm gonna be kettle one or something?
That's my order. Yeah, of course filthy
I'm only I only drink straight booze. I could see there martini beer wine. What's the go-to beer? I like hazy IPA
To flower powers, you know, hey, I paid delicious. I'm not gonna lie. You do an espresso after dinner
I don't do any espresso. I like that
You do coffee coffee. Oh, yeah, I do a lot of coffee in the morning. I'm done peel peel back
Yeah, what's your after-dinner drink?
bourbon or something like that Remy Martin
No, I would do something. I mean mark. Yeah, I mean mine is a little bit more like the rhymes or something
You know, I would do like Bullet Burberry or something like that.
Okay.
That's a goddamn, he walked in both worlds.
Yeah, exactly.
Bit of a gentleman, bit of a dirt bag.
Exactly, that's it.
That's why I knew I'd be home here.
That's why I knew I'd be home here.
Are you in the suit, like if you don't have,
you don't have court today.
I have court today.
You have court today?
I came here from court.
What?
Yeah, dude, if I had court,
I wouldn't do anything for the rest of the week.
You're going to do a fight and then you gotta go back to court?
No, now I'll go back to my office to deal with more mission tasks.
Whatever is happening here.
But let's say you don't have court.
Every day I'm in a suit, except weekends when I'm with my kids.
Not in a suit. Man.
Dry cleaned?
Yeah, you have to dry clean them.
Are you washing them at the house? I don't know. You have to dry clean.. Yeah, you're washing them at that I don't know you have to dry clean your dry cleaning bills probably gonna be pretty it's high
It's high the company takes care of that, but I read like I said I wreck suits. I'm on the street. I'm doing a train all day
I'm gonna Rikers. I'm gonna jail. I'm not living that high life. What was the last time you're at Rikers last week
How do you get there? You don't think the train do you I?
Don't have to take train I could drive obviously or take a taxi, but such a fucking nightmare driving in the city
It's like a five-hour journey to get anywhere, so I would sooner take public transportation, but I grew up
I don't mind public transportation. I'm not that guy rough with it. Yeah, so it's a little bit of a schlep
You got to take the f-train to Long Island City
Then you got to take the q101 bus over the bridge to Rikers, but I could be on the phone
I could work things. Yeah, man. You're fucking doing it. Yeah, I'm in the movie guys killing it. God damn Superman this is
Love it, dude, buddy. Yeah, it's boat act ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much
We're a criminal defense attorney the Spodak law group over there in Brooklyn down town town town at the Woolworth building
And ain't cheap and a boss cause baby. I'll tell you that buddy. We can't thank you
Education I appreciate you were absolutely fantastic. We love you if you ever need anything from us. Yeah doors always open
I hope that reciprocates. Absolutely the other way any time hit me with one of them porterhouse
Anything you want the folks aren't there to know plug away website any dates you got coming up you want to plug listen
I think the best thing to take away from this is if you get jammed up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and
Say I'm I'm invoking my or plead the fifth. I just say talk to my lawyer. That's it
I don't know my number and we'll work it out. Don't love it
Todd Spodak thank you rather appreciate you got anything for no guys. We're off the road for a little bit check out the a YG and friends show
they're dropping every month on the YouTube page we love you okay we love
you Todd I love you too baby okay