Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - AYG BEST of 2025!

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Are You Garbage is ending 2025 with a bang! We got all the best guests like Tim Dillon, Stavros Halkias, Dan Soder, Tom Segura, Mark Normand, Christina Pazsitzky, Big Jay Oakerson, Jordan Jensen, Ms. Pat, Chris Distefano, Yannis Pappas, Steve Gerben and more! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Better Help: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/GARBAGE Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. I want to talk about a dinner party. Sure. I want to talk about two things. One, if you're having a dinner party, one if you're going to a dinner party. Interesting. What do you think it's appropriate to bring to a dinner party?

party what does a guy like you bring uh if i'm going i'm usually bringing nothing let me tell you why here's the fucked up thing we talk to an etiquette coach that's the right answer yeah right answer because here's the thing i'm going to a lot of these dinners as look a local pig sure they're they're bringing me they have clipboards and white coats yeah They're bringing me to the dinner party as a local curiosity. An animal you'd point out on a tour bus. Everybody gets 10 minutes sitting next to you. For example, this is a local pig who we've brought in here.

And everybody kind of pets them and get the kids. Take a photo. The yak woman canceled. So really, I'm just a curiosity. I'm a curiosity. So no one wants the curiosity to show up with anything because here's the deal. If you go to a dinner party, I think you're there to, they want to do their thing. Yes.

They don't want to do a potluck. No. But if I had to a raspberry cream pie from Breyer Farms, gentlemen. Which is great. It's a top-notch pie, Brian Muir Farms. They won't sponsor me. You've asked? I haven't asked, but we've, you know.

You plugged them enough, I'm sure. I wear their hat a lot of times. I've seen the hat. I've mentioned this to you before, I believe, but you ruined me with the Hagen-Daz, what is it, raspberry cheesecake or what is it? White chocolate. Clit raspberry truffle. Oh, man.

Yeah. I can turn back the clock on that. It's a great flavor. Delicious. And it allows you to feel a little festive. Yes, it does. There's something where you feel a little festive. I think it's, you know, here's the way I look at life now.

You got to have a little treat. You do. You got to have a little treat, and it has to. He just said that in the kitchen. He grabbed a power bar. I need a little treat. I came out. He was.

Well, so it says cookie dough flavor and one great. of carb. I don't even know what these things mean anymore. One gram of this. I wasn't out of the bathroom yet. I just heard him talking to himself going, I could use a little treat. A little treat.

Oh, pick me out. So I think when you have the white chocolate raspberry trophy, it's a little treat. I'm not being a glutinous pig. I'm having a little treat. That's the difference. White chocolate's good for you. It's a little treat.

It's a little treat. Now, have you been on the other side of that where you throw a dinner party? You know, I'm sure you put out of a great host. You're a great host. We got to the infamous summer party. I'm going to caterer. To stay at a caterer.

We had valet parking. We had valet parking. That's how classy this dirt bank can be. We hired this guy. There's six bucks a car, but it was a little bit. Yeah, you whack me out. It charged me extra for the SUV. We hired this guy, this Italian chef from Instagram.

This guy doesn't show up because I got food problems. He goes, I got his stomach problems. I have food poisoning. His chef, by the way. Yeah, great. Hey, this scumbach. So this piece of shit, the morning of the thing goes, I can't show up. But then other people came and they did it.

They did a great job. Wow, I wouldn't have known there was a hiccup on that. He hired Arthur and sons. I remember, yeah. In conjunction with this guy, and they killed it. Killed it. And I think this year we're going to do something different. Every year we did traditional summer food the first year.

Then we did Italian food. Last year, it was like Italian. This year, I'm thinking something different. I don't know what it is. At what point does this party get to the point where all the rich people that you know are chasing Kevin and I around the yard? Yeah. And we're greased up in Vaseline naked. Because I have to say, I mean, there was like.

Yeah. Famous people. Like, you know, like, fame. There was like, I were talking to one guy. He's like, I'm a huge fan. We go, oh, cool. Thanks, man. Nice to me.

And he goes, yeah, my dad owns a casino. And I was like, how the fuck? I go, he goes, yeah, I just met Timmy. I go, what the fuck? Shout out to everyone at Ocean's Casino. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, I'm talking about. We were in the back, right?

As dirt bags tend to do. Smoking. We find a corner away from everybody where we can go catch you heaters. I think I hit you up for a button. Yeah, you did. And you're a good host. You float around, you're doing it out. And you always come back to your roots.

You find the other fat pigs in the back. Feeney brought his own cooler a white claws. Feeney, you forget. We're back there cranking heater. You forget he's white trash until you see he's got a tattoo on his leg. It's not a good tattoo. And you go, oh, you're a garbage part. Like, you forget how garbage he is until you see that tattoo on a leg.

Shin tattoo is a bad look. So I don't know what we're going to do this year. I thought maybe sushi, but then that sits out in the sun. That's not too good. That ain't good. No. That ain't good. So I don't know.

What's a good theme this year for the food? Interesting. That's pretty good. Because, you know. Go all Greek? Huh? Do some gyros? Interesting.

Like a Mediterranean thing. I don't know about that. That gets real sloppy. Yeah, that doesn't age as well. Everybody's smelling like Tziki. Nobody's making out. It smells like a yellow cat. That gets real sloppy and heinous.

And you guys were in a single family home? Yes. What? Like single family No no Our parents together Oh

Yes it was detached Yeah we were broke So what Yeah No it was it was a standalone Like a normal house It wasn't a condo or a townhouse That is correct

It was a Just your family lived in Yes And Gervys folds under questioning He does Well no I didn't know Single family household is that what you said

single family home is a regular home is what describes the dwelling I understand that but how would you describe a single parent home yeah single parent and brothers and sisters older brother one older brother how far apart are you guys two years that's great yep okay so you guys were together

all through elementary school high school all that stuff yes fantastic what were the sports growing up baseball baseball yeah very in what position? Well, I didn't make it that far. I got hit by a pitch. To get a position?

I missed the day they were handing out jerseys. I got hit with a fly ball coming out of the dugout. That was it. Yeah. Well, no. So I made it to kid pitch, but. That's like the majors. It was huge.

And then my dad. I scared me. Kid pitch. I was a very nervous fat kid. And I was okay with T-ball and coach. coach pitch even, but that kid pitch. We didn't have coach pitch when I was a kid. I was playing against adults.

Yeah, you went from T-ball right to kid pitch. Oh, really? Yeah, this is the early 80s. No, the kid pitch. And then my dad, like, got me a special helmet to protect my face. So it had, like, this, like, big plastic guard on it. So I couldn't really see that well at all. You look like a Mandalorian out there playing?

I did. So, uh, wait, why? Why did he? Why off the jump? You had been in it. No, no. That was the first time that I got hit in the head. I was like a bottlehead with that thing on.

I think it was just generally like cautious about my health and well-being. Because the arthritis was when I was two. Gotcha. Or blouse syndrome. I'm saying like the actual thing. Gotcha. So you had that already so they wanted to be careful with it. Right.

Gotcha. Were the kids brutal about that helmet? In school? Yeah. Did they tease you about the helmet? No. Oh, the helmet. Yeah.

No. Yeah. well you know the story about like when i was in suit like no my everybody was nice except for like the kid with down syndrome who was the one that picked on really yeah because i was like really short my growth my growth was stunted and then he did you know he wasn't the nicest to you right but anyway is this public school or private school public public where did you go conestoga conestoga oh i know kind of stoga okay very nice so hold on see so did you so did Did you stop playing after kid pitch?

Was that the end of the baseball career? Yeah, I got the two seasons in. You got two seasons in. I was actually, and this is an ominous thing to say ahead of, like, throwing out a first pitch. But I was a decent pitcher because I threw so slow that it was like hard to time up. Gotcha. It was like. Uh-huh.

You're like rookie of the year, the floater at the end. Let them have it. But I was decent. I could throw a strike, yeah. All right. Huh. Is it garbage to put ketchup on a mashed potato? No.

No. I mean, I'm not saying it's not good. On a baked potato. Definitely not. What? I saw my uncle do this one time. It's not garbage to put it on a baked potato. I agree with that.

You guys are out of your fucking minds. What do you tell? A potato is an elevated form of a potato. I mean, listen, if you're getting into a fucking steakhouse. You're getting into a steakhouse. You know what I mean? You're fucking squirting some fucking... Who gets a baked potato at a steakhouse?

That's not crazy. That's a classic double stuffed or something like that. Twice baked. Yeah, by the way, twice bake is the classiest potato. Loaded, no, once it's loaded, it's not classy. I'll give you that. It's got, it's classy when they give you a little fucking tray, and there's a little thing, a little ramekin of chives,

a little ramekin of butter and sour cream. That's class. That's a classy potato. I think that, dude, to me, it's like putting it in soup. It's like too much of a liquid to put on mashed potatoes. Hold on, let me explain myself. You're creating some weird fucked up soup. Yeah, it's like change.

It changes the consistency. of the food. True, true, true. Let me explain myself. Garbage, not garbage. I don't know about any of that. It's garbage, first of all, I do know. I mean, first of all, you should.

If you take a baked potato and you slice it into almost like home fry pieces with the butter on it and hit up a little ketchup, it's delicious. Well, what we're talking about now, though, is you've transformed the form of the potato, right? Because you've made it more of a Western fry. You've kind of put it in quarters, and that is fine. You have met. That's fine. You have met the final potato box, fully.

Listen, fully. Gentlemen, I'm going to ask you to both leave the room. Leave me and Mr. Halkius on the room. I slap it with a glove. Yeah, this, I think we've said before, but it's like the Lincoln Douglas debates for fat guys. But a baked potato when you slice it up, and then especially if you slice it and then pop it back in to get a toast, you've essentially re-categorized it as a fry. as a Western fry. Who said they were putting it back in?

I'm just saying if you... I like where your head's at down. Don't tell me you didn't chub up a little bit when he said that. But if it is served as a baked potato... Baked Potatoes. Dot net, gang. We have to have some kind of... We have to have some kind of respect for each different form of potato.

I'll give you that. You know? Like, are you putting fucking ketchup on scalloped potatoes? I would. I would. You can't do shit like that. On match, though. Okay, we'll stick with the top.

Now, hold on. Let me put a... But where are you where there's ketchup available and mashed potatoes at the same time? Why is that on the table? Or a diner? You're getting mashed potatoes at a diner? I love mashed potatoes at a diner. See, this is really?

This is the reason it's absolutely garbage because mashed potatoes on their own are almost always garbage. Like, not good? They're teetering on the garbage. Not good or trashy? No, you get like a whipped mash at like a... Sometimes at a diner, I'll get a burger and get mashed instead of fries. That's too many carbs. That's so fucked up.

That's a lot. What's the difference? They're not fried. They're boiled. What are you lubricating the burger down your throat? You want it to travel down your gullet easier? Do you dip the burger in the mashed potatoes all bad? I don't know who you've been talking about.

Because I use mashed potatoes as a as a cohesive for the rest of my food on the plate. You get that on this fork and then you can dip around and collect everything. But what, okay, a mashed potato, if it's ever going to be not trash, is an, is a, is, is, is, a, you know, a side to something with a protein and a vegetable, and it should come with maybe a little. See, that's the thing. If it's not going to be trashed, it does come with some kind of sauce, maybe an au reju, some other kind of dipping sauce.

Sure. But once you take, once you take the mashed potato and you take it to its lower forms, boxed, for example, boxed, mashed, never not trash. No, 100%. Even at a fucking diner, mashed potatoes. I would even say ketchup might be the dividing line to when mashed potatoes become trash or not

because if it's if it's fucked up to even conceive of asking for ketchup at a place where they have mashed potatoes that's a classy mashed potato but if someone would bring you ketchup without a second thought it's trash 100%. Yeah that waiter's not going to go

Sarah please the chef does not recommend it He's going to be like here you go you need any you want some mustard too you want me to fucking pour mayo down your throat too who fucking cares I brought you some barbecues on hey louie in the back wants to know if you want a job yeah we're out of dumpsters so you know this is good I'm glad we went through

this thought of course all right I'll give you that I'll give me that there was this one club that my brother would go to and he would get a bottle of vodka and if they didn't finish it they would cork it for you and keep it And I found out I would go. What, like store credit?

Yeah, just go, ah, you didn't finish it. We'll, like, put it in the back. You mind if I come by at 12 p.m. if I'm having a tough day at work. He's just come by with an arches. You topped this all for me. Had a little more coffee? Come back to next week. There's a bunch of fruit flies in there.

Sorry, you know what? We had a real infestation. Your bottle of gray goose looks like a science experiment. I got a half a bottle of Rumpelmans back there. You guys see monkeys. You guys got that Bartons they put back there? Are you guys detailing? silverware? I've never heard of that.

They cork it? Yeah, they cork it. Oh, the girl must hate you when you come back. Oh, the size that she lets out where you go, you know what? We're going to get out of here. Dude, it's worse. It's worse than you think. So my brother would go on Friday. And I know, I'd be like, well, what did you do last night? He's like, oh, we went over to wherever it was, denim, reds, you know, whatever. Whatever their name. Fusion. Yeah. We would, he'd go, ah, yeah, we got a bottle or whatever. I get word that he corked a bottle. Oh, no. So I, so I would show up the next night you would eat his leftovers yeah put on a lot of weight since last

night did they write your initials on the bottle i was i was like hey what's up and i knew them i knew hey it's his brother left like he's coming he's coming by and then you just kill it they're doing shots you're just drinking in like a menacing way your coat still on you're just sitting there you go no thanks i brought a can of coke myself and they're like i got a can of a nellic i don't you go i don't i don't have to tip on this do i Can I eat here? Yeah. You guys, oh, thank God.

Goes a hoagie. You guys mind if I just pull up here at the bar? What's the address? I'm getting something delivered. That's so funny. Hey, do you guys mind? Uber Eats is outside. Man.

Holy shit. Food coming out in those sexy situations was always a bad look. Dude, you just, you're pulling up to the bar, full winter coat with just the Arizona, with an Arizona ice tea. The green tea goes really. good with cold vodka. It's got ginseng in it. I'm fighting off something.

My doctor said I need more vitamins. This is like a cold hot toddy. It's a cold potty. Oh, man. That's great. Well, that was the end. I did not know clubs did that. I think that place might have just because he was in there spending money.

Yeah, some places you can watch two men fight to the death. Exactly. Same basement of that place. It was the basement of Pearl. You could see that. There's a lot of things you can see. behind closed doors No, that was the end of my early

20s was the end of that where you would get, you would dress up business casual and go to the club. Yeah, that's what I met you. And that's when it was like, we were in college and that's what you would do. I always felt better at a dive bar, but I had to, you know,

that's what the cool, that's where the broads are going. But it really is. You see your personality when you go to one of those places. I would just sit there on the corner and like, it's, I hate, I genuinely hated how I felt there. Me and my friends went to, all my friends I grew up with, we went to a trip all together for my friend's 30th birthday.

So I was still like 29. Everyone's 29 or 30. And we go to Miami. And we went to like the fountain blue. And I did the same thing. And they were like. My brother's bachelor's party. That's where they went.

And they like waited in line. And there were, I think, eight of us. You go to the pool or the club. Well, everyone's trying to go to the club, which. Live. Yeah. That's what it is. It's the best.

They say it's the best, man, my clubbing days are really going to. You're a promoter. He's like, do you got two girls you bring with? I can get you in? But we all waited in line like chumps. And then they were like, we can have six of you go in. And there was eight of us. And I turned, I just turned to my friend Zach, who also is now sober.

You know, he works the steps. I turned to him and I was like, let's just go to the hotel bar. Yeah, so yeah, let's go to the hotel bar and drink. And we just went and got blackout drunk while they went to the club. We just sat there drinking. That's all I want to do. off-duty cops. That's what I would rather do.

My boys are over at the club. We're hanging here. I go, it's fucking dance time for the ladies. The broads are in there showing off. They want to shake their tail feather. We're going to be sitting here getting down to business. I got so drunk, I almost threw up taking a shot. That's how drunk I got.

Oh, I've done that. Where you take it, you go. I used to have a move. I go, get me a piece of gum because the ad starts coming out. A gum cancels it out right away. and I would look at one of my friends and go get me a piece of gum and they knew they knew the pin was pulled and it was get out of the way there's been multiple times

I've been Finnegan's wake the one that really jumps out I took a shot and was like nope and I just throw up on the floor walked out the door and just got in a cab and went home good day gentlemen I did I did a similar thing at playwrights across the street from Carolines was drinking with Che I was already drunk showed up Che bought me I bought a Guinness and a shot of Jameson double shot took it felt it coming back up, just casually walked away, walked downstairs, like, almost threw it in

through the throw-up in the toilet, where I was like, like that, came right back upstairs and drank my beer. It's like you flushed the toilet on the airplane. Yeah, it really was where I go, anyways, I think the dollar's okay. You always had those bad, it just didn't sit well. Yeah, it didn't go down. I don't know what's going on with me. Yeah.

I know what's going on. You've had 18 drinks tonight. Dude, I've ordered. Down the wrong pipe. Gang, this episode is brought to you by Better Help. Yep. As you know, the holiday season can be tough mentally. A lot of stuff going on, you get tired, you don't get a lot of sleep, things could start popping up.

Listen, whether you got big or small things going on, take your mental health journey seriously and start with better help. Kevin and I are both in talk therapy, and we start it with better help, and they're absolutely fantastic. Yes, this is the time of year. Listen, everybody knows the traditional ones. It's screwballs. It's dark out. It's tough, this, that, the other thing, money stresses, the whole nine yards. Also, you're spending a lot of time with your family.

Maybe that ain't great. Also, maybe you're not spending a lot of time with your family, and that ain't great. Either way, talk therapy is a fantastic tool to help you through the hard times. You don't got to sign up and do it forever. Nope. Just get involved. Use it as a crutch as a tool to get through. Share your family traditions for the holiday or one that you like to create.

This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Forget the other people take care of you. Put your mask on first. Our listeners, yes, our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash garbage. BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it. Kim, let's talk about Rocket Money. Rocket Money, baby.

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week it keeps you track it's good it's good you go cool I'm on top of it I'm increasing my savings that's rocket money dot com slash garbage rocket money dot com slash garbage do it do it are you stealing I feel like you were stealing I did start stealing yeah I can tell you're setting things on fire a lot huh did you like to burn frogs Christina I loved fire and my dad would go to sleep and I would just play with the fire flames dance where In his house. The fireplace? Yeah, we had a fireplace and he'd go to sleep.

And I would just stay up and, like, throw shit in the fire. I would have set you away if I came down in the middle of the night. You were sitting there worship and fire? No, thank you. Any vacations? Would you guys go anywhere? Yes. So that's a cool part of my parents is I would say because they were Europeans that we traveled very extensively.

And I got a really nice education. Like, now that I think about it. Okay, so my dad would take me. to club med with him that's not that's not educational it's an education in swinging that's what that is that's one step below hedonism it's crazy i know and i didn't realize it until later that like never do shot before dinner okay that's what he would tell he said he's like always eat before you drink this way you can drink without throwing up and i was like okay dad these broads will never know what hit them wait hold on would you yeah

Did you ever go back to Europe as a vacation? Later you're like, yeah, it was well travel with the Key West. A couple carnival cruises. Martinique. No, so we did go to Club Meds in like Mexico. I go to Mexico a lot every summer with my dad. He probably loved that. For some reason, I love that he was living like that.

Yeah. Going through all that shit. Think of how much he appreciated that. He had a tight little bathing suit, a bunch of hot broads down at ClubMed. Man, hairy-ass chest ice soup. I mean, meanwhile, she's, like, fending for her. You're like, this dude's crushing his. He's traveling.

Meanwhile, she's, like, emotionally detached. She has a pyromania problem developing. She's stealing. She's clearly acting out. He's living his life. The Indian guy, who knows where he is. Yeah. Your dad took you to club med.

So I did research it. It did start off as a French sex resort. I didn't realize that. I just thought it was like this fun place. Wasn't a Dave and Buster. I can tell you that. Like French, it was all in French, and I got to hang out with other, like, European.

Yeah. Other fucked up kids. Fucked up kids. And we'd run around the village, so they call them the village. And I don't know how, by the grace of God, like, I did not get kidnapped or abducted, abducted, molested.

So, like, I don't, I think I was like, my mother was so vigilant about, like, you don't talk to anybody. Everybody's out to get you. So I was very, like, I don't know, it was sturdy, you know? Well, that's, I mean, when you have to learn to fend for yourself,

it's like you grow up you have your heads on a swivel of like hypervigilance is what my therapist did you guys have that too you guys is traumatizes me yeah but for i mean i wasn't at club med with my dad yeah it's more psychological oh okay yeah well it gets worse so then he would take me to bars and night clubs with him in the states when i'm in third grade like on third grade school nights yeah holy sure school wait school nights yeah this guy cares about an american education system yeah you nuts How were your grades? Were you a good student? No.

How can you be when you're at a... There's no home. There's no... He's not like, did you do your homework, Christina? You know what I mean? He doesn't even know what that is. Are you crazy? We would go to this bar in the valley called the Beef and Barrel.

That's a good name. I would like to spend some time at the beach. Were you like the bar kid where everybody's, oh, Christina, there's she? And they go over, they go, here, put the... Give you like $2. Save this for you. Go buy yourself candy. Yes.

Meanwhile, you're stealing their wallet. What would a typical dinner be at a bar like that? Some mozzarella sticks, some chicken fingers. Oh, and gosh, yes. And I think that those years really set me up to be a great, like, to be a stand-up comedian, like to enjoy that dinginess of that nightclub. It's like, I walk into a dive bar, and it's like, I can tell right away if the Coke's good. Yeah.

Not the drugs. Did you grow up in bars too? Grew up and hanging out in bars, eating chicken fingers at the bar, playing the photo hunt. My dad, I mean, my whole family's alcoholic. So am I. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just who we are. Just Irish drunk construction workers.

Yeah, I stopped drinking alcohol after I had like 60 days ago. It's horrible. But anyway, the point is, okay, beef and barrel. I have the best memories of it, though, because it was the 80s. And the music was amazing. So everybody's like, the 80s were the best. I'm like, yes, they were. It was Duran Duran.

It was Lionel Richie. It was Frankie goes to Hollywood. It was, you know, and I have this great memory of dancing with sailors there were sailors in their outfits what in third grade third grade they had just come off whatever break and they were on the dance floor with me and they were like i'm this novelty on this little yeah it's fun we're dancing we you know we're having a good time yeah so fun and at one point it's it's like a wedding it was so yeah exactly it was moony mooney you know that song by billy i don't and sailors yeah they there's a thing where they go hey mother fucker get laid get fucked like you sing it in between i i

I remember being like, what's this new poem? And I remember chanting it with them. Hey, motherfucker, get laid, get fucked. And I was like, my life couldn't get any better. Like, this is the height of cool. Amazing, dude. And then I'd go to school the next day, I went to a nice Lutheran school.

And like, how do you explain to other kids that you just chanted with sailors? Yeah, they were home watching the A team last night. Yeah, and I'm like, you guys fucking dorks. So you weren't good in school. What was the sports situation? Did you play? Yeah, I played sports growing up.

Base, you know, baseball was probably the most consistent. I played to us 13. And then after, like, after about that, I played basketball, but I got cut every year from my high school basketball team. It's got tenacity, though. He keeps going back. I keep going back. I played for my church.

Okay. Church had a basketball team? Yeah, church had a basketball team. Yeah, there's, church basketball was, like, kind of a thing. Oh, I know what you mean? Like CYO League. or that's what we have Catholic Youth League, okay

Oh yeah yeah Ours was Nashville Baptist Association There you go The NBA And so Pretty good We have I played church I was graded

In church basketball You were good on that team Yeah Okay I should have made the team At some point in my high school I think at least one year I should have thrown a bone

First year My dad was the assistant coach Still did not make it Jesus He cut me That's a cut throw clown right now yeah yeah yeah you don't mess around yeah cut your dad cut you that's crazy and then after so then after that the coach just kept the tradition and then cut me the rest of the so you would

go home after school and then he would come home a couple hours later from basketball practice got a big trophy yeah yeah here's what you know fun little thing though i'll tell you uh i gave my high school's my only alumni so i gave my high school money and my name is on the court now Are you kidding me? That's a baller move. So we're in there. Is it the Nate Bargettze basketball courts? So over at Bargettsey courts?

Wait, we've had a lot of people coming and do a lot of cool things. That might be the coolest thing I've heard. And how small of the town are we talking? What did you graduate with? How many kids? So I graduated 56. What? And it's a very small.

And you didn't make the basketball team? That's great. What, dude? That's nuts. Half of them are girls. More than half, statistically. Yeah, but they were good. They were good. That makes it sound worse.

Sky hooks all day. I never thought about how bad it was. Man. Yeah. That's tough, man. I'm going to say a couple of hundred. 56. Man.

That is. vicious. Are you double teeing? That's it together. That's one T, which is very trashy. You have a dicky tee on? That might be the traciest thing you do. What the hell? That's for kids, dude. It is. Is that reversible, too? It can

be. Listen, I saw, I clocked that to second. You did? You were like. And I was like, no way am I bringing that up? You got some balls, chubby. That's the goddamn balls. What time are school pictures, huh? I apologize for his It's super trashy, right? It's probably an expensive shirt though it's so expensive

these rich guys don't what the fuck they're doing how much was that shirt i don't remember i really don't a couple hundred yeah probably a few hundred bucks no shit yeah yeah now what are you doing these days that you're all slimmed out are you do you have a stylist you're who i want to be i look at you and i you are not trust me i know but i go you went bald quite well you got the good facial hair you trimmed up i that's what i'm trying to do but dude i'm leaning more towards this way i have been farting so much. What, here?

Well, no, I went in there just to fart. Gentlemen. It was like a... It was like a 15-second fart, though. Okay. I think it's all the protein bars I'm eating. They really let you rip asses. God damn bar bills will get you. I'm just I'm fucking turning down things I want to eat. That's it, dude. That's the only way I can...

That's how you do it. Dude, that's... And here's the thing. And it's not great. It's just... Like, I'm... I think I still live with hope. Do you do that? Where, like, you'll be like, oh, I'll look like this one day. And I... Yeah, no, you're, dude, you're my goal. Yeah, you're in there. What do you mean?

That's not a great goal. Are you not where you want to be? From my side of the defense. What? What do you want to disappear? No, I think, but I mean, you kind of want to like. Tighten up. Yeah.

You're a tight guy. How old are you? I just turned 46. No kidding. Yeah, most people. By the way, I did, I remember this from just like a couple weeks ago. I did MSG. Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah.

And Jimmy Miller, who I work with as a manager. of course comes over we have a dinner afterwards and this is so funny to me but he's like he goes I was you know he's like congratulations a big night your MSG it's a huge deal he goes guess when the um beastie boys first at MSG I was like oh that's good trivia I was like I don't know him he's like we'll take a guess I was like 90 or like 2006 or no 84 oh 84 and then he goes then the next thing he goes and so he goes so you're 52 and I go, what? He goes, you're 52?

Like that, like you're 52? And I go, I'm 45. He goes, oh, okay. Forget I brought it up. He's like, just so you were like five years old. I go, wait a minute, why did you think I was 52? Because I just looked at you. I was like, everybody always has it.

Since I was 17, has been like, when I was 17, I didn't have you have to get a fake idea. I had a fake ID, but I would walk in and they'd be like, what do you want? Just like this? I looked like this. People were like, 27. I'm like, I'm 17 years old. And it's never changed. Well, you carry yourself of the vibe sometimes.

Yeah, I'm for. I'm a guy who's over it. Yeah. Like you're, like you're 55. Yeah, yeah. That's what I get a lot. I'm 49 and I always thought you were older than me. You and I would 100% guess that you're younger than me.

Like I would. Really? I would never assume that you're older than me. Huh. You carry yourself in a fatherly man's man type of way. It's a double T kind of way. Uh-oh. I just a double T.

It's the double. You have a nice jacket out there covering the double teeth. I did have a jacket on that's right. You look sharp in your jackets. Thanks, man. Thank you. Not that you don't look sharp now. No, I appreciate it, man.

I don't know why you think you're offended. That's good. You look sharp as you. Not that you know I would like to disrespect you. I made fun of your little boy t-shirt. You got your whole pass on you? I should. I should have a whole pass.

I hear the sex is better than ever. Well, the sex is better. than ever because yani my wife lost the weight yon he's weighing in at one 96 now it's the first time i see my lady first time i see my lady under two hondo pairs yani you did come in really first day of school in it you got the new boots on yeah that's a that's a guy who's wife dressed him he put on your boots he's got his brand new car our boots on hey never see me outside you know what i you know what i really um i really don't like now about this era is every person asks me, are you doing something?

Oh, Zempic. It's just everyone. What are you on? You're doing it? Naturally. It's like, yeah. And then you say, no, I'm just on repressed childhood memories.

That's what I'm eating. It's all, it's called depression. It's called depression. They don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage. Oh, yeah. And you're cranking it out to some blue oyster cull. Now, you know, the problem is my, the ceiling in my garage is too low. So I can't get a treadmill or I said, I'd go through the chelot.

I don't think that's a garage. I was going to say, what is it for a tricycle? It's only for convertibles? Yeah. Unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem. It's got low ceilings. Why don't you get a lift for the garage? Why don't we raise the ceiling a little bit?

Raise the roof. Wait, hold on. That doesn't make any sense. How do you get the car in there? The car, when I pop the hood, I have to control the pop. So it doesn't hit the, I got to open it by hand. What? So if you had, but so if you had like an SUV, you can't get one in there.

You can't get one in there. Is it a drop ceiling? No, it's not even a drop ceiling. It's just, I guess it was built for Chinese. Right. Is it connected to the house or a detached garage? It's underneath. It's underneath.

You're on a hill. I'm not interested. He's on a hill. He's on a hill. That's what matter. He's on a hill. Yeah. That's a kid who should have been in construction.

Yeah. Wait, hold on. It's underneath the house. It's underneath the floor of the house. Yeah. So you go down his driveway. Yeah. Oh, you have one of those?

We got a nice, clean coat of white that's covering up all the imperfection. So it looks like a finished garage. Wait, you have a driveway that goes down? the driveway goes down the hill. Whoa. Down the hill. That's very old school Queens, Brooklyn.

Yeah. That's why they killed Joe Pesci. Yeah, right there. Throw him down. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I'm not interested in a house. For me, the garage. You're renting again.

I'm renting again. This kid's all, he calls me, I buy a house. We start talking. How's the house going? I go, great. You go, best decision you can ever make. Next text right away goes, I sold my house. I'm going back to an apartment.

Christy's got two roommates again. I said, listen, the mortgage rates are the lowest they've ever been in history. I bought during that time. I said, let me wait till they triple, then I'm going to sell. And that's what I did. And that's what I did because I like a little bit of the chaos and it's a regrettable decision. But I will tell you this is I've been trying to look at a couple of houses again.

And I'm just listening to anyone on Zillow, anyone listening to me, any real estate agents that I may or may not hire it because I'm always firing them and hiring them. I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house because that's where I put the gym. I don't pull my car into the garage. I put my gym equipment in the garage and I leave the garage. car outside the garage and I just wipe the fucking snow off like an American. Yeah, that's actually, it's an American

way to do it. It is. Did you, you made a few bucks on the house, the Staten Island house. I made a few bucks on the house, but I consider breaking even making a few dollars. Well, I was going to say, if you consider a few, if you consider making a few bucks, which I do. Right, if you consider making a few bucks meaning $4, then yes, that's

because I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms and then your baby, I sold it a month later. You never got into when you were going to make the pool all one level. No, I did do that as well. Yes. And then he turned this pool into a coin pot.

He spent a couple coins on renovating it for the nice family who bought it. And then the beautiful Palestinian family that bought it, they are enjoying a nice new home. That's good. You're a good guy. Well, that's what I said. I said, you know, that's the one way I'm helping with the war here. You know, is I gave the Palestinians a home on Staten Island. And then, but I also, you know, I got.

With a two foot pool. Yeah. I gave the Palestinians my house. and I gave my Jewish accountant the money. There you go. So I helped both sides. And that's why we've been on the horn with Netanyahu trying to figure out

how to get it back. Yes. Yes. Netanyahu. You said that like AI. He made it sound like he's in Apache. Yeah. And I don't know why his face isn't on chocolate drink bottles and they're calling him Net and Yoohoo's.

I don't know why they're not doing that because every time I hear that guy's name, it makes me think of a fucking Yoohoo and I think they should combine the marketing. Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Chime. Shout out to Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank.

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Otherwise, 1.00% APY applies. No mean balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Hey, gang, check out this short clip from the Route 66 tour on our YouTube page. I'm not even lying. I just shit my pants. What happened at the garage? Hey, how are you? You guys have a bathroom. You saw that, huh?

I'm curious as to what do you want to get out in front of this thing? These are dangerous questions. Are those the shorts you were wearing? Unfortunately, they are. Dude, that's fucking disgusting. Unless you were wearing plastic underwear, which I do not think you wear. It didn't go through. No, dude, that's insane.

I'm telling you it did not get to the outer layer. What you may know is the upper atmosphere. It stayed within the molten core of the butt sheet. The underwear, on the other hand, didn't make it. Didn't make it. Thank you. You're welcome. I appreciate your hospitality.

Of course. I mean, I've seen to go to the band of a lot. I've never seen you walk out with evidence. There's an old street joke of a guy's trapped on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. And they're have sex for like two years. It's awesome. And then finally at like the end of two years, she's like, you know, we've done everything. What do you want me to do now? And he goes, hey, put this mustache on.

She puts the mustache on. He goes, guess who I'm fucking. I never heard that one. That's pretty good. We saw Cindy Crawford. Go ahead. You guys used that. Oh, yeah, we saw.

We ruined her dinner. We ruined her dinner in L.A. Would fully eat it? Skinny broad. You're not going to finish that. Breadstick's got my name on it. What happened? I mean, she was the one.

And you know what's so funny? I'm such an idiot. And we had been drinking. We were like day drinking. And we went out to dinner. Luke's a cool young guy. He picked a cool young spot. Where are we at Frankie and Johnny's?

Marvin's out there. La La Land. Hollywood. God damn Hollywood. You gotta show face a little bit. You know what I mean? And I was pretty fucked up. And they were sitting right behind it.

We were like bumping in. It was just a bad scene. Like we were like, you know. Was her, her daughter, her husband, and Austin Butler. So her husband also owns Casamigos. I did not know that. Her, yeah. Her daughter is also a famous supermodels.

Kaya Gerber. Tyah Gerber. Pete Davidson. Yeah. Really? They had a little fling. Man. A trist.

I love them. Oh, yeah. I want to smell that hog. I love him. It's all right. Yeah. I got a thing with Gerber, too. He's hot, too.

He doesn't like him. Oh, shit. This is my room. We might be able to get a table at Marvin's ever again. You start talking shit. What's wrong? You prefer burger. Randy Burger.

Wait, what's up with you in a Gerber? Nothing. I don't even know the guy. He just doesn't like the advertisements and he doesn't like that he's that close to George Clooney. Yeah. He wants to be friends with Clooney. We all do. Because the Casamigos got started. They were so rich and so cool that it turns they bought vacation homes in Mexico and they kept saying they couldn't find a smooth tequila in Mexico. What are we talking about? That's hilarious. That's like not being able to find fucking Coke in Columbia. What are you lying? Wait. You got bad hookup. Is he the the guy on the motorcycle he's the other guy he's the other guy he's always wonder who that

fuck that was he's a huge restaurateur yeah he's a hunk too yeah he kicked a shit out of me too but they they came up with casamigos just for their friends wow and then we're friends and then the story is that they made a big order and the order was so big that they had to like get a license if they were making that big of an order in bottles like they ordered like a thousand bottles so they were like oh let's just sell to the public it's fucking billion dollars they sold it for a billion i heard he gave 14 friends a million each yeah that's not too shabby not too shabby wow getting the ideas what giving out a million i'm a poor osos man uh just gentlemen we uh but i saw soon i walk back from the bathroom pretty fucked up and like i see her

and i literally in my head i went that's a good looking older broad that's all she read at one point i was like in love with her she was the hottest girl in the world and that's That's how Stu, I was just like, that's a pretty good looking older bra. That's what she registered us. She's gorgeous. Still looking good. Yeah,

we ruined their dinner. Fucking laughing, talking. Oh, I had one other bottle. Just like, you know. It was like,

Cosmigo's not the best tequila. That's like a weird taste to it. Weird taste. It's got the vanilla taste and the hangover is brutal. And everybody uses it. That's the fucking, that's the go-to now.

They got in as the tequila. Yeah. Somehow. Crazy. Yeah, I like a Don Julio fucking 142 I'm over the dagger cat man myself Just say we got a little shelf back there

Hey, oh you got the old bottle That's a vintage Well, give me a new one Ship it got it, Fannie I'll send it right over Charge me for it I thought that was understood Shipping and handling How are you gonna start the car

Wholesale prices This is good garbage I went to Becky owns wedding. Down in Florida, right? Yeah, yeah. And I've lost weight.

You look great, but I look great, buddy. And I know, I know that. So I told Christine was meeting me down there. And I go, hey, can you just bring like one of my black pairs of dress pants and black shirt? And black shirt. That's real bad if you don't know the wardrobe. Well, they're all the same size. It doesn't matter.

I was like, I was like, and they're going to be a little big on me. So I was like, you know, make sure you bring a belt. I got a belt. That's even sweeter. People are compliment you. He's baggy, huh? Sure. except I was even thinking to myself

I'm like, maybe this is a tuck the shirt in situation That's what you're thinking? Maybe. Has that's been a while for you? When was the last time you tucked the shirt in? Quite some time. It's been quite some time. 15, 20 years?

It's been a long time. I mean, where I've, yeah, my wedding. That's pretty good, though. Yeah, yeah. So that's a long time ago. But so I was like, maybe I'll tuck my shirt in. And then when I'm putting the clothes on, first thing I put the,

I'm going to pull the. pants up where the shirt already looks hilarious on me it's so wide is what looks so funny on it so it's like it looks like I'm wearing my dad's shirt and then I go to put the pants on when I pull them up they're not touching my body at all

yeah whoa I was like shit I was like well thank God I have a belt when I go put the belt on it's suspender pants there's no there's no loops no loops I'm finding this out 30 minutes before we're supposed to be at wedding did you have suspenders on you nope

and why would you What I had was... What is a carrot top? Robin Williams. What I had was... You're doing your Gallagher bits anymore? What I had was that belt that then became, I wore it... I left the shirt untucked.

Okay. And I put the belt around the pants like a hillbilly with a rope keeping up his jeans. And then flipped them over? Yeah. Whoa. And then had to go like... And everyone's going, hey man, why aren't you dancing? Like, I can't dance.

Jay, we know you love to dance. Why are you not out there on the dance floor? I have a song of my heart. I love to move my body. but I can't tonight. They would have fell. I'm only doing slow dance. Every time I moved around, I felt like it was starting to come through, like,

you had to, like, pull it back up. You got your heart-shaped boxers on. He was like, why aren't you dancing? I don't want to dance. It's stupid. Just sitting there with your jacket still on. What is, so that's a lot of weight loss. Have you, I mean, those fit, right?

Yeah, yeah. Those are new? Yeah, 36. Get the fuck that out. What's a high shirt you doing? XL? To it? Excel, yeah, Excel.

Yeah, yeah, Excel. Yeah, I could do. A 36. Six? God damn fucking supermodel. It's under the belly still. That's not right. You think I am?

Matt Damon or something? It's not even a great example. I wish I could get down to Matt Damon's size. We bought a zoo, Matt Damon? I ever tell you that? I had surgery. I'm no Vincent Donofrio. You'll appreciate this.

I had surgery. My middle range bodies. He goes, what am I? fucking Michael Rappaport over here thinking I'm going to fucking buy an extra large shirt I had surgery on my arm and my hand and I couldn't put my my my they were gene

shorts I vividly remember it was September I wore jean shorts to the hospital nice so I had to wear I should have worn like going in the way you want to go out slide you right into the casket if it don't work out we have Sabu from ECW coming on skanks today and I was I watched so I watched the documentary

about ECW again I've watched a long time ago and I was like oh that's what it was why it was my time the late 90s dude jean shorts ruled the world everybody cool was wearing jean shorts and I even let go of that it's funny because even dads were wearing them and it's still they they lived in separate you know lanes yeah yeah yeah there's a bet a three inch four inch in seam between father and ghost face killer yes it really is yeah yeah I had to have my mom because you know you're bigger guy jeans are typically tighter on you you know what I mean and I had to have her button them.

And I remember she was like, didn't, had never buttoned pants on somebody with a gut, let alone her 12-year-old little sweet boy. And she was like, do you go above it or under it? I'm like, just fucking do it. She's shut up. You know, my mom got the job at casual male big and tall

so she could afford fat clothes for her son. She was a regional manager. She worked their way up the ranks of casual male big and tall. She brought it up the other bag and I was like, Kemp you and Tommy Bahamas all through high school. My mom called me the other day and goes, this is such a funny thing. She goes, I remember when I was younger when I worked.

She was me and my friend Janine went out to a club. And at like 4.15 in the morning, we got the idea. We left the after hours. And we got the idea drunkenly like, let's drive to the corporate offices of our job in Boston. And she goes, so we started driving right then to Boston. We only got as far as New York, though. and then we just kind of like bad idea

and we just slept in a we slept in a parking lot and went home and I was like corporate offices for what company and she goes big and tall cash mail big and tall like this is when I was alive yeah you were nine I was like where was like she was with your mom mom I'm like that makes sense you were at Bubba's house

I was in my mom's man that's but my mom it's like damn is that what you were doing in your down time what was they going to do trash till 45 I don't know like storm the fucking place Janine was hot club jeanines are always hot my mom was a manager of a retail place so it was just hot young girls were friends it was great it is funny now watching them all age though i saw jeanine not long ago came to my show in philly my mom brought her and i was like you see you're like holy

shit you feel terrible because i'm i'm she's like she goes oh my god look at you you look great and you're like bam you are look so much not as great as when i remember you you were so young and hot when i remember what happened that's funny my mom's friends watching them get like oh obese through the years yeah when I was younger I was like damn she's got the best tip smoking yeah and now you're like she walks with a fucking uh something that has like a fucking tennis ball on the bottom of it she's got the four thing that the the four point cane she has an elbow pad and like that carpal tunnel hand wrap buddy that is the sign the girl any lady who's always got a fucking wrist guard on hand yeah dude like what have you done in

your life throwing turkeys that's a lot of hand jobs if you mean a girl at a bar at this point and fuck her that night you're definitely going to hear the sound of that belgrade you're gonna slide it off it's got that sweat on it oh clammy it's gamey inside it's like 10 degrees warmer you see her forearm hairs matted down well you a good student growing up and how was the household growing up you your mom your dad and your brother quiet what you would mean by suburban neighborhood

right I think I was I was not a good student until I got put in the they put me in the school that my dad was a teacher and then he was so sometimes your dad's a teacher

and kids get away with everything because their parents can pull some levers and now I got spat on by one boy whose mother was not even a teacher she was like an assistant teacher and I couldn't do anything I got in trouble for punching on with him

for Probably all that. I heard your dad to comedy. There was some of that. There was some of that. I was giving him a bit of the chat. I was, I was. You sip it with that comedy.

I got into too many fights. I got into two. Really? Well, I started out with some fist fights and wasn't very good. And I'm ashamed. No, I'm ashamed to say I, I kicked a boy in the testicles. First time was an accident, but people were afraid of me after that. That became your move?

I did it twice. I did it three times. It was like stone gold. I literally in six months, I kicked three boys in the house. I like it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And then people were afraid of me. Not in a good way.

Not like, he's so tough. It's like, stay away from the can. He's got a problem. I kicked the boy in the testicles. Yes, he's a good friend now. Hey, Nick. Sorry, you can't have kids. No.

Call Nicky Sopranos. I believe he's brought children into this world. There you go. But I do remember he vomited up the stairs as he was walking away. I feel very bad about it now. Why did you kick him? What was the argument? Isn't that?

boys the white who can remember that's the move no I shouldn't have done it I had a late pew I was the smallest boy by a lot how late's late I was the oldest soprano the boys choir over there it was late it was like what you would say I was I would have been 16 when my voice broke okay yes were you in the choir for real or no yeah what were the what were the extracurricular activities I did a Did you play nuts-stomping? No, I squeezed in the nuts-stumpin between, I did debating, I did chess, I did

I tried all the normal sports and was shit at him, so I started doing the ones that The obscure things. Did squash. He played squash. Squash. What is squash exactly? It's tennis, but really dull, and the Saudis love it. Okay.

What did you do in Philly? Any of the old haunts? Did you go around? Did you get any good food? What's a guy like you? You know, you're headlining a nice weekend down there. You go hand out flyers? or something? What'd you do?

It was awesome. He's parking. Packed it out. Hey, we're big fans of packing it out. Packing it out. It's not sold out, but it's backed out. Not so close to sold out. Punch line. Close.

Host, host feature and headliner. Oh, me? Save a little money. You got more money. I commute. I commuted from my mother's house in Delaware. I kept the travel buy off for myself. Did you really?

No. I stayed at the hotel. The only guy to ask to pick up a waiting table. station while he's working. Hey guys, what the feature's up? I can do some food running. I just want 15% of all gratuity.

You know, I can park cars until about 30 minutes into the show, right? Just light them and I'll... What I do? Oh, I ate way too many cheese steaks. Where'd you go? Oh, I went to Campos. I got gyms at two in the morning.

The late show was rough. Had to eat it away. And then I got Campos again. And then Gino's last night in. I wanted to go to Steve Prince of Stakes but I didn't have enough time Let me do WMMR Friday morning at like 8 a.m which was awesome And then I did some black show where it's for Fox Soul

And got a little feisty I threw him some hundred chiles in there What are you talking about? It was on Fox Philly 29 There's a Fox Philly Soul station Yeah it's it's Fox 209 He's up there line dancing Shoup

Shoe, babe Shoop day you Shoop day you Shub it's Spinderella y'all And Now Ian Fidance With the weather

Man It's kind of shit in this motherfucker She Gonna be some win You're going to have To keep your old hats on To bust out my shoe pants

Woo-wee I apologize They go They go Ian What do you think about this Drake and Candrick beef And I go, fellas

I think that beef is Expired Man, you're the weirdest White motherfucker I ever met God damn Why did we get this boy? He said you was a comedian This boy comes straight out

To scoble Tattoos and turquoise jewelry Shit You jerky Uh huh He ain't on my block I'm fucking Come in here like a seminal

We have to cut this Right What do we do I'm sorry Missy Ian, you're a wild one. I said, oh, child, you don't even know. You bring the spice, I'll bring the flavor.

Now, I heard you like to get a little freaky-diki. I heard you like to swing both ways. Now, I have here that you swing both ways. So is, hey, you would switch to get her. You need a lord. We would call that the D.L. just a regular black guy trying to figure you out I guess is going straight to hell

but he is funny mother we had miss pat on the podcast and she was like I ain't never been around something like this before oh my god I was like but you have a gay daughter she's like but she ain't like you no tattoos ain't the only thing colorful oh jes come on there so the weekend was good that was terrible weekend was good

weekend was good went to the old laugh house did you board it up oh yeah we shayner and drew montana ended up getting coffee right across the street so we're just telling old philly stories and uh it was really fun and then uh went to reap our records what do you want me to say i need a bunch of cheese steaks bombed on local tv i did i crushed on local tv let me tell you it They made a clip, they liked it, a lot. Got caught in a rainstorm, what more do you want for me? Whoa.

Got broken up with in between shows. Now we get to it. Yep, yep. Was this the last? Let the mania begin. Didn't sleep much. Going off the rails, I need a train. Bang on dangle, dangle, dangle, go call me back.

I know where you live. Trying to kill yourself with cheese whiz. Well, dude, it was funny. She broke out with me via text in between shows, and we thought it'd be funny to take a picture with me and a knife up to my neck and be like, you need to talk to me right now. Rethink this.

Who's the we? Any other voices in your head? I thought I was at the comedy club. Turns out I was just on 12th and orange. I'm sorry to hear that, man. Yeah, sorry. Was this a new thing? Was it fresh?

It had been a while? We met like two months ago. I had a whirlwind week in L.A. This was the, you had just met the last one when we did your podcast. You had just met said person. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We were razzing yet the time for that.

Yes. Yes. So it was a long distance thing. Yeah, but she came to visit New York. Really fun. And then when she went back to L.A., she was like, look, like, I... You are weird. That apartment is Grootie. I got it cleaned. I saw your Fox Soul segment.

And I've never been more in love. So, yeah, she was like, look, I want to be, like, in a very committed relationship. I don't think we're going to be compatible. And I was like, all right. They, like, threw me off. Hell, you even mean, compatible. Two weeks later, I see her. It was great.

We get back together. I asked her if she wanted to go steady. She said, yes. And then he broke up with me two days later. Hope you like cats. But there were like a lot of red flags. So when she was like, hey, this is it. With you?

No, with her. I'm a green flag. What? I'm a fun time guy. What did you name a red flag about me? Can't see? Hey, heck out of your tongue. It starts and ends with the rings.

These are good. That's too much silver. No, it's not. What are you hunting vamp? The rings are good because when they come off, it means business. My eyes go black like wing of crow. He and only fingers. Maybe that was something.

Do you have anything in her place that you have to go back and get? Just a bunch of minion stuff I gave her. Red flag number two. She told me she really loved the minion rides at Universal. Hey, I told you. I've never seen the movie, okay? I said they're kind of cute. I stole her a bunch of minion stuff and gave her one.

And then the more I gave her, the more I had to be like, are you going to ask him for them back? Yeah. Can I please have my minion bucket hat back, please? You and the minions all in the car driving across country? He's in the backseat. He's not even driving. I said left.

We'll find her soon. I can't think of why she decided to break things. Do you think about it? He asked her good steady. She said okay because she didn't, she was afraid in the moment, and then he sent her a bunch of minions. And then a picture was a knife up to his throat. No, no, that was a joke.

I didn't send it. Should I? We were working. It was a gun. We were bouncing bits. Yeah, it was just a bit. My dad jacked me on one time, man, I was in a, I think I was in like second grade, and I think I hit this girl.

He jacked you. I get a girl. I hit a girl. Every time he did kind of have it coming. I got to give it to him. I'm telling you. Like, every time I hit something having me, I needed it. Sure.

And so I remember it was, he picked me up for school. They called him up for school. And he just was, we was riding back. And he just was like, he took me to get fools. Like, listen, what you did was fucked up. And I'm against him. But I'm not going to tell you when. And he took me get food.

We were talking, having a good time. We got in the house. I was chilling. And he just came room. Don't you ever do a shit like that ever again. Oh, the sneak attack? Yeah. That's mental warfare, dude.

And then I was like, I never ever, never ever would do that like that. Yeah. Why would they do that shit? Why would they play it cool for a little while? You think you're getting away with it? then all of a sudden I can't wait to be a parent I'm gonna be the best

mental abuser ever what I'm on their ass wait like two weeks don't say nothing I forgot fuck nigga wait a never over damn all right any sports in high school

play basketball play basketball yeah good basketball player I was alright I was decent I had uh so my I didn't I never really had the grade

to play a full season until I still year full season so I always played like half the season my freshman year I got in a fight with my teammate by who played more we both didn't play sure I got the fight we fought in the away team bathroom

we got in the way game we fought a bathroom I'm gonna die Jesus I was cause like I was a small kid my freshman year but I could fight a little bit I had some hands a little bit uh-huh we was in fighting I was fucking them up and I was beating the shit out of him and then my brain just went my dad came in and started kicking my ass my brain just went hit it with the razzle dazzle so I tried to pick him up because I was recording the fight and then when I went to go pick him up he grabbed by like lower body and all I remember is somebody going don't kill cam and they caught me like right before I was going to hit the ground like crack your head

open or something yeah that's a pretty good fight though yeah in the dude a fight in the away team's back a locker room that's pretty respected no it was it was dope so I got kid our team for that and then my sophomore year I got back on the thing we had new coach because that the old coach we hate was like you'll never play basketball this school level again he went to a different school you got fired so we got a new coach and And then I got back on the team, didn't have the grades to play, and then played to say after the season. When I got back on the team, I cussed out my Spanish teacher.

Sure. Because she was a bitch. She had it coming. Yeah, she definitely had to come. I wasn't trying to learn Spanish. I won't go to college. So I didn't give a fuck about it at all. And then she was a black lady too, which was, okay, whatever.

So she, I was never going to learn Spanish. Because my first year was a Russian lady teaches me Spanish. I know the fuck she was saying. Sure. Second year was black lady. She was cool, but she was a bitch. So I was sleep one day, and then she was like, you gotta wake up and I said hey bro he didn't let me sleep but you're gonna shut the

fuck up and leave me the fuck alone and my I didn't realize that the JV coach was next though you just told him immediately and they keep my team for that well just for the record she kind of was right you're sleeping in class oh yeah yeah I mean listen every time I'm wrong I'm wrong I'll give you have admitted every time every time I'm wrong I'll be wrong I'm wrong as shit man wrong as fuck what was the vacations like when you were a kid would you would you guys we always think everybody living in Orlando you went to disy world like every three days no now no no no no no den the words they can see I don't know, um, vacation.

Nothing, really? Nothing? No, not that I could. Oh, shit. That's a first. No vacations at all. I like it. Maybe we did. You're a bad kid. I wouldn't take them anywhere, either. She fucking caused him a problem everywhere he went.

I went to a while with my mom when I was a kid. Oh. That's a huge vacation. She gets a buddy pass or whatever, yeah. You know what I was dope. That was cool. Yeah. I got married and we got friends. I went a while with my mom with like 10 years old.

There you go. That's really good. That's one of one that's really. Oh, in Tennessee. Yeah, that's a vacation. With my family reunion and shit. Nice. Got mustard in my eyes.

Wow. How? I was on my, it was on my stepmom's side of the family. So your dad got remarried? Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. And so she had married my whole life. She's up to take my diapers and shit.

So I went over to, we went to Tennessee, and they got a cabin. And my sister's cousins was playing this game called Don't Go to Sleep. You're going to get mustard in your house. Pretty descriptive game And I was tired I was the youngest I wouldn't sleep And they put mustard in my eyes Jesus

Yeah yeah yeah that's how to game right They kind of lost the game It's a fucked up game Was a family reunion every year Did you guys do one every year Yeah and games with Florida My mama's side yeah Man that's all right

That's probably a good time It was dope yeah I put pee in a water bottle one time And chase my cousins around with it Because I couldn't catch them in tag Man this guy chemical warfare Fucking got piss bombs Jesus Christ.

I mean, you are the weirdest guy I've ever met. I was not expecting that. I got some childhood stories, dude. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I remember my granddad. My granddad was so mad to me about that shit. I couldn't cast him by all mad as fuck. And then, like, we were playing tag.

And I went to the bathroom, and I came back out with a water bottle, and it was yellow. And they didn't realize at first, but then my cousin was like, he got pissing the water bottle. And they just started hitting it, and I was squirtinged at it like this. Yeah, it was crazy. I was in time about two hours for that one. problem child can't you're a timeout for about two hours that's not bad two hours for a piss come on that it's easy time do that standing on your head how was your mom in the kitchen could cook she can't cook for fuck no okay my mom can't cook for shit hmm yeah no we should

try she make a red velvet cake if that work that's make a cake for you dance like I can make a cake Dan I've never had someone flex a red velvet cake that's a that's a high-end cake dude that's a fuck give me that cook for shit Real Velvaceto on your head. My friend Ron Barry's brother, Randy Barry, was on the real world. And he would party with us all the time. Who was he on the real world? He was Randy from the real world San Diego.

And girls used their fucking pussies would melt off when they saw it. Oh, I remit. This guy was hot. Dude. Didn't he? I've never seen people flip out more than a real world. We'd be at like a PC bar Providence College, which is like hot Irish hockey girls that are kind of like with it. You know, everybody's favorite.

specific road island girl freckles kind of beat 7 2 to 8 4 every one of my cousins shout out bridget oh yeah stop it kids got a type oh yeah to you Jesus Christ like field hockey girl that's the one you know like kind of funny really good sense of humor does like physical humor they drink a lot yeah they run through doors and shit chugs a beer in your face they're like Chris Farley the girl yeah yeah but they're kind of pretty that's that's my type so I and we'd go to PC with this guy it was like it was literally like like bringing like fucking Spanish fly like it was it was like kicking a bottle of Spanish fly on the ground in the bar and girls would be like oh my god Brad from the real

world like now my father said Brad brad came in I remember him clapping out a girl in the back of my dad's my dad flipped out at a midlife crisis bought a Hummer a red Hummer each two during this time I feel like your dad's probably had nine midlife Christ oh yeah yeah he had a really good one it was like what red Hummer I mean he met his little totally really wanted to fucking give head I was like why didn't you wear a prom dress too that Jesus Christ what's up I'm here party and it might blow you yeah yeah what it's cool no it's not brad you met brad yeah he was i remember like he's like hey can you ride back to this girl's dorm room and i just like yeah dude no problem are you

kidding me i'm like a fucking you know the little like the low rung and the total poem like no problem dude and i just like look back he's just clapping an open-legged fucking freshman and i was like wow this is awesome hollywood dude yeah made it i'm going to the oscars next year But so that all stops going on. And then I think it was like I had a summer of partying. And I was like, man, I got to stop spending like 500 bucks in a week and go and hammer. You know, it was a great time.

And then I bought the condo. And I gave him, he wanted five grand and Wayne Groh. And I was like, look, man, I don't got five grand. I got $1,700. And he's like, oh, you fucking get him. And he told me you get me fucking five grand. I was like, I don't have it. I don't have it.

And you got to get out either way. So do you want it? And I remember, like, my move was always hold the money out in front and make sure it was in loose bills. If you're ever buying anything at a flea market, hold the money out front and say, do you want it? And make sure the last number is a nine. Wait, what? Why? I'll give you an example.

Say someone wants $350. You offer them, instead of offering them $150, offer them $189. Make sure the last digit is high. It's a stupid thing, but they'll be like, because if it was $1.70, they would be like, no, no, nine.

I thought you meant the serial number on the bill. No, no, no. Just like, Now, I have $109, then hold it in front of them. Do you want it? Nobody says no. It's like a 9.7 out of 10 times you'll close that. Holy shit. This guy's constantly closing stuff.

Well, I have to buy it. I'll get into later. But yeah, you always have, you're always doing those deals. You'll see that people, whatever. It's an old lady. Who gives a shit? She's fucking watch you melt in a barrel fire. Who gives a shit?

All right, so you buy the option to buy that. I buy that. I move in. $1,700 bucks. Yep. Then you get this condo. I get a no dock loan. from who my coke head friend Matt

he gave you 120 cash no no no this is when remember when loans you didn't have to you it was called stated income I made like you just had to say this is what I made that's right so it was like I made like this is essentially what brought down the world economy it's all hundred it's happening right now

DSR loans doing right now in Baltimore it's happening right now but um it was no doc loans the other guy in Baltimore is doing his crush it just came out this morning anyway so like I was like yeah I was in the paper this morning I got a loan for I said I made 90 grand I didn't make 90 grand

I did that with Apple to get a MacBook Nice well how'd you how'd you slide out of there They said how much do you know I did it on the computer And how much you make I said 300,000 dollars This was in the podcast It was like the first week of the podcast criminal They should lock you up with a ski mask Hey good job

Hannibal Lecter over here You're gonna be doing life after this This guy's stealing retirement homes You're talking about your Venmo credit card Shut up! I'm sticking pick and little old lady's heads. I'm shooting like John, Joe Pesci in the movie. You're gonna embarrasses in front of Brad if you ever shows up.

Brad from the real world. Do you guys poop in your pants? What do you mean? Like recreationally? Just say the answer. Uh, him more so. I just, you boys be pooping in your pants a lot. Like I have a lot of, I've never pooped.

One time I pooped in my pants and I was in preschool, totally fine. You're telling me. But you guys, I know. No, it's true. I was on the road with Segorah and he shit in his pants just on tour. Like a little bit. I'm not like...

I've only ever fully pooped in my pants once. But that's crazy to once in your life pooping your pants. It's like the one bodily function. I got jammed on. I got stuck in traffic. I didn't make it. And you just shit? I couldn't take another step.

Oh, you were walking. Yes, I was walking. Almost to the house. It's almost there. Brutal. I couldn't make another. Got him another. Do you throw it away or do you wash it?

Huh? You throw away or you wash it? Everything I throw it was like in the Pulp Fiction. It was a whole thing. Incinerate, yeah. Yes. Everything was cleaned up, thrown out. Yeah.

It's crazy how much you guys poop your pants and get skid marks. Yeah. Every one of my friends. The other day, I reached into a back of a friend's car to grab a towel and that's my poop towel. It is all the seed oil. See? It's the servers. It's the servers.

I didn't say this. The male digestive system gets all wonky as it gets older. I was changing my son's diaper the other day and I shit at the same time. Oh my gosh. moment of like dude my man I shouldn't have this job you are your daddy boy you shit in your pants why not shit like you're saying like what are you saying what are you saying like i got the started like i got the paper open you were changing the boy's diaper and you farted and shit came out yes that's shit in your pants no i got to push back as someone who shits too i got to push back on this

you have no experience doing it grease between the cheeks yes oh that's what oh is there a spurt That's shitting your pants. There's propulsion, yeah. Yeah, propulsion is shitting your pants. This is insane. But it's no, it's not a log. Yeah. No.

But there's no air. It's not like, it's not like far air. And this, I dissected this with Segorra because he was like, I sharded and I was like, bro, you're describing shitting your pants because you went to fart and a stream of poop came out. That's shitting your pants. But the thing is you don't know whether it's air or the other thing. Oh. You can't tell. Yeah, you're not like, it's not a conscious decision.

Oh. So it literally, oh, this is a fart, and then you go, that's not a fart. Oh, but you know after it's poop. Yeah. Yeah, that's pooping your pants. That is poop. Are you? We're not doing it on a purpose, man.

I know you're not doing it on purpose. But if I fart and a little bit of poop particle is there and I get a skid mark, that could be a shart. But if you go to fart and it's accidentally a poop, that's pooping your pants. All right. Okay. Fuck you want from me. You accidentally poop your pants a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. That's all I want from you. I don't want you to say, I don't want you to say, accidentally fart and some poop comes out I'm so sick of that you shit well I hate to break it day that's what happens no yeah I'll admit it I'm disgusting I hate that you guys have made up this term shart as if it's acceptable it needs to be back but that's what it is got together or like how can we fold Jordan at the meeting yeah but everything at the hot guy meeting at the hot guys who fart and a little bit of poop comes out meeting okay at the guys who everybody loves and wants to be around

meeting and everybody's favorite boys at the higher reaches the hotel this Saturday 2 o'clock that's crazy yeah no you're not it's not you're not wrong it's not a it's not ideal situation but it you know if I was having sex with you and I bled all over your penis and I go oops I queefed you'd be like no you pussy bled all over my penis it's a pretty extreme analogy no it's not no it's not blood and poop are equivalent Blood and poop are just as bad. No, they are not.

Blood and poop are equivalent. Would you rather have poop or your blood on your day? I never got shot and shit all over the place. Well, I guess you could. What? I don't know. Hey, world's worst analogy. That didn't even mix.

Well, when you get cut? Never shit my pants and then figured myself on my period. I've never gotten hard on my own shit. Wait, wait. If you order a Coke out, will you order no ice? or you order ice or extra ice? Do you have any? No, I order light ice because I know they're going to cheat me.

I knew that was coming. All those documentaries about Canada did a documentary how the United States cheat you. When you've been to Canada, they don't put ice in their drink. Yeah, yours is Europe. Yeah, they just give you the drink. But America cheat you out of half of the drink. If you pull that drink off that ice, you probably got that much. And you pay for a whole soda.

Well, a lot of time it's free refill. You know where they love to do that on the airplane? I say I want the can when I'm on the airplane Because they'll just give you that little tiny place to come You know what I go to the Delta Lounge And I just throw ginger beer in my purse You know the ginger beer? It is so good

But you can only get it inside of the Delta Lounge Yeah You ever been in it? I know y'all been in the Delta Lounge Oh I'm platinum I'm 360 I mean I'm 360 Yeah She's killing it

I've never seen one She's killing it I'm wood You know the thing about being 360 When you have a problem They take care of Platinum, they do too But I mean 360

You get on the plane Before the fucking pilot Well I do I do can But I do VIP Is that what they drive you to the thing Yes I do that every week You wait

So you get driven to the To the plane Every week And then you walk up the outside Yeah Only because I don't like going through Atlanta airport.

That's where I live at. And it's just too much to get you bad. And it's just easy for me, because I have a driver that pick me up and take me over to the airport. And it's just easy for me to get VIP to get me, run me through, drop me on a plane, take me to Delta Lound,

and I'm done. I don't got time. Then, you know, people, black people are different from white fans. Black people don't give a fuck. What's your day as like? Give me a picture. Give me a picture.

And I don't want to say, look, bitch. Leave me alone. So I just go up the side of the plane and pull my hat down, hide because they don't you know white people like hey how you doing black people don't they'll snatch on you I love you bitch get your hand off you I'm on a vibe video fighting somebody because I don't want to take a picture come a wig going cricket so you know I just say to keep everything down I'm just going to go via smart very smart that's great good for you

speaking of the plane obviously you're up front all the time of course do you take your shoes off on the plane. Nick, I mean, you're allowed to say it. We're not. I had to catch myself. That dirty-ass carpet, is you crazy? I'm guessing that's enough.

You see how many of white people had their toes on that floor? I just flew back from Europe last week, and I saw a guy barefoot go to the bathroom. Oh, my God. I'll do that in my socks. White.

Asian guy. Yeah, white. Same thing. he wasn't black i'll give you that the skin was white ain't no way in the hell ain't no way in not even a homeless person black would have done that put the slippers on if i take my shoes off on say it's like a six hour flight or something like that's a long flight and i'm getting comfortable i got my movie going some snacks stuff like that i've had my meal all right that is horrible well at first goes to give you the slippers you put the slippers i'll give you a pair of

i can't fit in those things let me tell you i just flew i just flew emmence for the first time You all flew Emirates? No. What were you just going? I was on Singapore was very nice. It was? Yeah, Singapore is very nice. I almost got on Singapore.

I went to Saudi Arabia, but then I went to Dubai. And when I tell you, Emory's first class. Yeah, it's like an apartment. Oh, my God. When I tell you, they wake you up to take a bath. Man, it's time for your shower. Yes. Did you take a shower on the plane?

No, I had a pant-in-law on it. I told you I can't take my fucking shoes. I had a panty line on it. It was going to make it. Now, if I was just bail-drawn. holding it, I would have to take a bath. Wait, hold on, a panty liner, what do you mean? A panty line that catches the secretias that fall out of me.

I can't believe you need that fucking display. Every vagina leeks. So everything. You ever see one, huh? No. I've seen it in some videos. You're a big guy. It's easy to have sex with you just kicking your stomach, your dick, pop out like a cash

relationship. That's easy. Y'all are so warm. You know the hardest thing about. giving a fat person head is when you lift their stomach up they dick is hot like 99 degrees it's like an air fryer down there yes and your makeup and eyelashes are fall off it is it is work sucking a fat man penis because it's so warm down there you ever did it girl let me tell you

I thought I was gonna get him to say yeah this Matt just obliterated us Look over, I got fake eyelashes on. Oh, you got to take your makeup up before you give a fat man head. I'm telling you, that is some work down out. And they balls are like, it's like it's been in a little. Hey, I'm not on trial here. I'm just telling you. Fill is nuts.

I guarantee you. I've seen them. They're not great. Oh, they're bad. No, touch them, they're hot. Yeah, they're hot. Because I'm telling him, he's thick between the leg, so everything is just rat down, heating up at all time.

And as he walked, they're boiling. Yeah. as he walked, they're boiling. She's not wrong. She's talking like you're not out of here. If he should. Pull his nuts out right now. I bet you, I bet her they're 102 degrees.

If he teabagger bitch, it'll burn a skin. How do you feel as a whole about its rise, about its popularity, about its existence, really, of the birthday cake flavor? Well, let me go into this, actually, because I'm happy you ask this. my thoughts on this are evolving really yes early on when birthday cake flavor was introduced let's be honest before 2010 no one had heard of it we're talking about

the early aughts here the birthday cake flavor is introduced the earliest and most mainstream application of this flavor was something called birthday cake remix from cold stone was cold stone that was the big one coldstone creamery introduces his flavor in 2010

there's a mortgage crisis people are suffering They're suffering. They're losing their homes. They're lining up. The Coldstone employees are singing. They're making ice cream. Many of them are on pills. And they can't see their children unless there's a police officer present.

The birthday cake flavor comes in to make everything a party. Nothing's a party. Nothing's a party. Okay? Oh, you thought you're going to retire with the equity in his house? Now you're living in an apartment again. Nothing's a party. Here comes a birthday cake flavor.

Oh, there's sprinkles in it. Is it your birthday? No, I'm actually living in hell. in hell. So this flavor comes in. Then everybody gets it. It gets cheap. I don't like it anymore. It feels very

chemical. I don't like the birthday cake flavor. I've turned on it completely. Okay. I used to argue and I still will argue this, that the Burger King French Toastick was one of the most influential things I've ever had in my life. It changed my life.

The Burger King French Toastair. It's like you're in here. You know that? It's like you're right in here. Because the McGrittle does not run. No. The Burger King French Toastick doesn't walk. You are not wrong. And here's the thing.

Burger King has fallen far. But there was a time when it was a nice time. Because you had a crinkle cut pickle. McDonald's had a regular pickle. They were contending. They had a crinkle cut pickle at Burger King. You had a flame broiled whopper at Burger King. There was a time when Burger King was in the game.

It is not in the game right now. And it is a fucking tragedy. It's like a FEMA camp when you walk in there. I have a theory. Yes. Okay, that I have expressed to Kevin in private. Yes. That our culture, yes.

As Americans, correct. We are the coolest at times in history where Burger King and Pepsi are the driving force. When Burger King and Pepsi are in, things are really good. It's actually beautiful to hear someone articulate that with words. We are at our coolest when Burger King's popping and Pepsi's pop. Because we need the underdog to thrive. We need the underdog to thrive in this country. Was Burger King my favorite?

Absolutely not. But did, are you? Is there a time when it was hot? Amen. Was there a time when you had a, who was mad at a croissant witch? Oh, buddy. Was someone mad at that? Dude, when the chicken.

Was someone mad at that? When the chicken fry hit, it was all right. So it was all right. There were, and I actually think there were the times of the most racial harmony as well. Of course. You know what? I agree. We were united.

I agree. So that to me is a sad. Your pizza, it's a sad story. These are sad stories. These are sad stories. But we could get it back. His great name was Burger King Lover. No, for life.

Get it back. For life. For life. But guess what? Not for life now. Yeah. We could get it back. We could be cool again.

That's right. Huh. Just one crispy chicken sandwich away. What is the biggest disappointment fast food-wise? I'll tell you right now. Please. I'll tell you right now. What did you say?

No, please. The, because I was going to agree with you. I thought you said the thing I was going to say. The biggest fall that has ever happened in this country. From a restaurant that was one of the greats to something that is now nothing, and that is Wendy's. Wendy's in the 90s was the premier. You would go there and have a burger that was amazing. It was a square patty.

You'd get a gold wrapper, Monterey Ranch chicken sandwich, ranch in bacon in the ranch. Fresh never frozen, a salad bar that included chocolate pudding and slices of pineapple. How about you go fuck yourself? And this was, you would leave your job, maybe at a debt collection agency or at the rec center. You'd go in there and you'd put a feedback on, oh, a big chili baked potato? Maybe I will stay married.

And now, now it is hell. You would get a salad there with bacon, cheddar cheese, ranch dressing, croutons, you'd pile it high. I mean, the Steakhouse Bacon Cheeseburg at Wendy's, the Monterey Ranch Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's. Wendy's was amazing, and it has fallen far, shame. The thickness of the thickness of, that shredded yellow cheddar cheese at the salad bar covered in ranch with a slab of chocolate

pudding on the side we've discussed this it still holds true to this moment you couldn't be more right talk about a maverick a big potato at a fast food restaurant and it worked they did things they did things dave thomas now you go into wendies and everyone's confused everyone's confused it's some Norwegian who just got off a plane and they don't know what's happening. No one is excited at a Wendy. It's just kids go in there to film fights. They go in there to curb stop a bitch

and film it. That is all Wendy's are used for. Now they're used for inner city fights. And they know it. They go, that's the only reason we exist is for inner city TikTok brawls. I mean.