Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Back to School w/ Joe List

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with stand up comedian and podcast host Joe List! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Come to a Live Show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Liquid Death: https://liquiddeath.com/garbage Express VPN: https://www.expressvpn.com/Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Is it trashy if your dad took you to the prison he works out to get a free haircut? No complaining about that cut, I'll tell you that. No, it looks great, thanks so much, take care guys. Now who would cut the hair? Would it be an inmate or would it be like a barber that day hire? An inmate for sure. An inmate. That's gotta be a leave, that's crazy! I'm sure you skipped the lollipop too on the way out to the door.

Thanks, we're good. Gang, get your tickets for all the cities on the State Trashy Tour and are you garbage.com. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. So at little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're to be classy.

Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host, Dave, totally coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She's upstairs getting plowed by somebody. Okay. I don't know what's going on. All right.

My co-host is coming at you right next to me. Try to sneak one in on him. He is a CEO of our you garbage. He is an international business man and he is not to be trifled with in the boardroom or the bedroom. Okay, Jay Kevin James Ryan. Let's off gang thanks. As always please make sure you're right. We subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to real cookie. And obviously the greatest website of all time. I ain't got to tell nobody

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add it to Philly show, Philly come out, let's sell that baby out. And also add it to third Toronto show. Get out of here. Get out of here. Holy shit. Shout out of the third Toronto show get out of here Shit shout out to the conucks baby and how about a nice quick shout out to our producer X short and air the old magic man back there Rocking the shorts lately showing the games give it up for T-bone Mcscruffins Toby Mcbone and everybody what I've did What I'll T-bone oh I'm stoked. We got the good homie in the crib. It's a fun day. It is grab some chocolate chip ice cream. Get it We'll be pying you. Let's have a good time. I tell you man

He's like a breath of fresh air when he comes in the weather's turned a little bit. He came in complaining I'm a big complainer I'm trying to be worried about flesh eating diseases. I'm not worried about the flesh eating it sometimes this happens I get mistook for a warrior. I want to, I mean, I worry about things. Well, you start where like, hey, Joe, how you are flesh eating disease? That's not a, that's a worry. No, I said I was like, did you guys hear about this?

Because we were talking heat, the temperature. By the way, I'm about to have a child. I'm complaining. Fully is over there being like, you hear it's 180 in Texas. Babies can't survive. Everything's dying. And so I was trying to yes and, and supposedly,

we were riffing Jerry. I'm not concerned, but evidently the, what do you call the muscles, the oysters? Oysters. Are causing flesh eating disease? The ligaments.

But I don't eat the hoof. I don't eat oysters. I think you're in the clear. I don't worry about flesh eating, but I thought it was just a topic, but this happens to me a lot in my life. We're all be like this. What times the show start?

Don't worry, don't be nervous. And I'm like, I'm just wondering what time it is. Like the agent on Seinfeld. Okay, the, Katie. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, stop freaking out. Yes, I'm freaking out.

You got to worry about the Chinese. I think more for the kid World War three. That's what I'd worry about the oyster. I'm between two AI climate change. I worry about sky net big. It's a nice day open the door. Take a step. I don't worry about the claims casino You'll be all right the door take a step back. Don't worry about the claims casino. You'll be alright. We couldn't be more excited that we're incredibly and I mean incredibly special. Get back with us again today. He was just here with the misses. Yeah. But he's got a fucking brand new special out right now on a YouTube page. Enough for everybody. Give it up for Jolton. Jolis everybody. One of the best. I appreciate you guys

having me. I know it's a very close. I was just here What are you love it buddy? You're family open in open invite. Oh, thank you. I don't worry about it Stop freaking out list. Oh, This Christ that I was worried about but yeah, please check out the special enough for everybody I got demonetized there they're censoring me. I'm trying to do the censorship I said the C word. I thought it was pretty innocuous, but they got me. They got you.

They fooled me, Jerry. Buddy, that thing's cooking, man. Yeah, congratulations. If you haven't listened to what I'm sure, or watch a lot of people out there, go fucking check it out. He's one of the, you're cranking them out. It seems like every three weeks.

You're everywhere. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's three and three and a half this year. So I feel pretty good. So yeah, go check it out. Please, for the love of Pete, I got a baby to feed. One of the absolute best comedians working.

And they got their movie star for Christ's sake. What are we doing? It's kids' Hollywood. Oh, I wish. Yeah, we made a film. I'm working on another documentary film. I'll hit you guys back up. Come back.

He's gonna move in here in a couple of minutes. I'm dying to. This is better than my apartment. Your studio is bigger than my parents' house. I grew up in a smaller house than this. Really? It's got a Burmite maybe close, yeah. Honestly.

It's bigger than my apartment. It's bigger than my apartment. Yeah, I think square footage is probably bigger here than my parents' house. We had a yard Pretty good look at you It's a good way to worry about ragging Look at us watering there pretty good by the way. I had a I had a sighting of the list Not that long ago. Oh, yeah

I think I was hopping out of a cab out in the neighborhood there and it was you and about five or six of your family members They were scurrying down the street trying to get to a cookie place before it closed. That's right, Chip City. That's right. Chip City. Chip City. And they weren't waiting for each other, man. They was somebody in the back with a stroller.

I don't think they got anything. My brother-in-law's name is Chip. And we went in there and I did a big thing. It was they hated me. I was like, guys, I want everyone to guess this guy's name Gary and the three of them were just like this and I went come on one Yes, and that one guy went Chip we went yeah

Crazy and there was no Gotta do that. Yeah, there was no emotion. We were all right Sorry, but he were closing at that minute But I think they were catching a train and we wanted to get our big cookie. They're all right, man. Shout out to Chip City. They're fantastic. They're fun. Highly recommend Chip City. But yeah, they're coming back. Tell me this isn't hurtful. My niece is going to college. Okay. I think pace university and they're moving her in. And so I'm like, we're gonna go to the Metz game. We're gonna go to the seller.

We'll get some wings. We'll go to the high line. Families in town. Yeah. And so I'm like, we're gonna go to the Metz game, we're gonna go to the seller, we'll get some wings, we'll go to the Highline. Families in town. Yeah, and they booked the morning train, Saturday morning, moving is 2 p.m. and they got an evening train back. Ooh, eatin' out. That's, that ain't, that ain't great. That's how they weekend, I might have.

Ooh, yikes. Not even like, hey, let's grab a dinner, let's anything. We gotta get back to Snow's Common. We gotta get the roads will be terrible. Jesus. In and out. Well, they would have had to get a hotel. No, they really didn't like that chip in, huh?

Maybe they'd have to get it. You might think, well, a hotel is very pricey, holiday weekend. I have an additional studio office downstairs. I have a bed. It's a basement. It's a basement, but it's furnished. It looks like.

What kind of bed's in there? A nice bed, I'll tell you what, it's a very nice bed. It's a full-size bed. And when the reason it's downstairs, we ordered a bed frame. And I forgot about the existence of full-size bed. I just thought of twin and queen. So I was like, we ordered a bed frame and I forgot about the existence of full-size bed. I just thought of twin and queen. So I was like, we have a queen because I used to have a twin as an adult yikes.

And keep your newty mugs in there. Wait, what age were you in a twin? I'd rather not say. 35. Whoa. Yeah. You and Sarah weren't living together yet. Where are you? No, we had separate places. Okay. And Bozy would sleep in the, what she would sleep over. No, I stayed at her place. Okay. And what I thought was a food time. She had a full, but I thought

it was a queen. So I was like, we got to get a bed. That's so trashy. You are. I know. And there was mattress on the ground situation. So I was like, we got get a bedside. That's so trashy, you are. I know, and there was mattress on the ground situation. So I was like, we gotta get a frame, we're married, we're men with jobs, Jerry. So I ordered and I was like, well, we have a queen. And Sarah's like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, because mine's a twin. So this has gotta be a queen.

So they showed up and built the bed frame, the two guys, and then they put the mattress and they were like, this is, and you know this is the wrong size, right? And I had to be like, this, of course, this is a bed I'm doing. So this is a sleeping bag. It's like the new mattress is on its way. And so we slept for like one full year on a bed, a queen size bed frame with a full size bed.

So chip in the family would have had to stay in the basement in a full size bed with a queen size bed frame. Might have that right with a queen size bed frame. Might have that right? No, the bed frame, we've later bought a cookie. So now the frame and mattress match, but on the floor on the mattress. I'm on chip side. I get a new chip.

Thanks for the cookies. You see a Christmas. Well, we call it the Mets game. A seller. The win. You've had them hop in the fence to get in. Wait till that security guard turns his back and we're all clear. So I've got to do this hand in a couple of flyers after the show.

But now I have my niece living in the city. That's cool. She's show her all the Chipotle's and Starbucks. There you go. Fucking John Q. America over here. All the ins and outs of New York City. We wanted to ask you about, because it's the, you know, we're creeping towards the end of the summer here.

As I said in the beginning, the weather changes and you just get that feeling of the first day of school. Back to school, baby. Did that excite you as a kid? I was, I would probably say you were a little worried. I was nervous about going back to school always, but it depends on what year we're talking. High school, I really came into my own. I own. I was really moving and shaking at friends. I was very popular in high school,

believe it or not. I believe that. And so that high school, I was like, I couldn't wait to get back and see everybody. I had like an audience and I was an athlete, so that was exciting. But elementary school, I was definitely shitting my pants. Yeah, I wasn't a fan of that either. No, it was nerve-racking. But summer also could be a bummer because I just got dropped off at my grandmother's. We didn't go to like, it could be lonely those like elementary school

junior high days of like, they seemed like a hundred hours long and you were just fucking, they're years. Somebody was watching you by yourself in your house, no car or nothing. Yeah, there would be times where my aunt would come and watch, because both my parents worked full time.

So like, with my aunt came, we would run around the neighborhood, and I grew up in a neighborhood with like a lot of kids, that was fun, but a lot of the days, yeah, it was drop off at your grandmother's house. And there was no kids in that neighborhood? No, none. It was like a lot of prices right with my grandmother. Ooh, hey, don't hate that.

Air conditioning? Oh, I can't imagine. No, no, no air conditioning. No, and a lot of indoor smoking too, just't hate that. Air conditioning? Oh, I can't imagine. No, no, no air conditioning. No, and a lot of indoor smoking too. Just can't say, yeah, ripping heaters and watching Bob Barker. And somehow my grandmother would be on the phone 100% of the day.

Mm-hmm. Like she just would have phone call, like four hour phone call. Just talking shit, that's what they do. They get older. Yeah, they start ripping on everybody. Yeah, maybe that's what I'll be But she would sit on her leg and then she would get up and go yeah, and like a limp around because she just sat on a foot for the day

House coat what she what would she be rocking probably too hot no AC kind of rocking a house coat Yeah, but she certainly didn't have shorts on she's there in the two piece I think it might have been like a bathrobey thing maybe She's in there in a two piece. I think it might have been like a bathrobey thing maybe. I'm going to a night gown. Night gown? Yeah, I put a D at the end of that for some reasons. Night gown?

Is it not a night gown? It's just like something the dude get their docks. A gown. Like a ball, like a ball gown. A gown. Yeah, gown. I also, with the three of us, we're not all great at words. I don't think we should be the, we're not the authority on how to pronounce words.

It's a night, there's no D in that. No, it's nightgown. Yeah, nightgown. No. I just thought, I just found out it was a wheel barrel. Yeah, I still say barrel. Yeah, I say barrel too. Yeah, that's a wheel barrel.

It's a barrel with wheels. Yeah, stupid. I don't know what they're talking about. Somebody was being a dickhead. But yeah, I'm trying to picture, I think some kind of long thing, one PC type of thing. I'm saying. Where was your grandfather?

Was he at work? He worked. Yeah, he would go to work, he'd come back and bring McDonald's a lot. He smoked as well. There you go. He had real bad coughs. I remember.

It was a lot of wet. Bleh! That's how you look. Sounds like it's in the 30s. I know. They were from the start. I guess. I definitely picture dirt on your face the whole time for some reason.

Yeah, it was a tough, a lot of cats, there was a lot of cat fur and cigarettes. It wasn't great. Not a great atmosphere. And also, I think when they eventually moved, it was a kind of place to take pictures off the wall and there was just that yellow stain around. And my uncle, who's my age He grew up that's a red flag That ain't great, Joe. He grew up in the house and he became a fireman and when he had his physical exam

They were like how long he'd been smoking and he's like I've never smoked in my life and they're like yeah, that's not good So How did it get you who's what's the age difference? Oh, summer memories, huh? Summer nights. Summer nights. Man, I thought LaCrosse came, so I could use this grace. What's the age difference? How are your uncles the same age?

He's actually four years old to me. Oh, five years, I think. He's five years old to me. When it comes to uncles, that's the same age. But yeah, and my cousin, you wouldn't call him uncle, whatever. Uncle Dale, I still call him uncle Dale. When you were a kid, you called him Uncle Dale. No, no, it's a kid. I just called him mean. He was very, my uncle, and we're very close

now and we have been for many years. My uncle and my cousin, who he's his uncle too, and they are two months apart or something. I guess five months apart. But they used to crank in the summer. They would crank up the AC, and they had like the little plug-in thing in the bedroom. I said everyone had AC in their bedroom, but not the living room. They would plug it in, and then they would steal my blankets at night,

as like a gag. Because I'd fall asleep first, I was younger, and I would wake up like shivering, and I used to sleep with dirty clothes as blankets. Oh, been there. And one time, the same uncle, we were fighting about something, and I caught him.

I came out and he was putting thumbtacks in the bottom of my sneakers. What? Yeah, and if I hadn't caught him in the act, I would be like, in a wheelchair right now, I think. I imagine that. It's like ripping your foot across a thumbtack. Sure.

Man. Plus a pneumonia, too. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was not. It really sounds like your family does not like you. Yeah, well, we were like brothers, you know. They taught me the ways of the world and how to be worried about fleshy diseases. Did you pay for the cookies, by the way,

do you spring for the cookies for everybody? I spring for a lot of things. I can't speak to the cookie specifically, but I'll do some buying. But my family is. I've run out of town on you, though I'll do some buying. But my family is... I ran out of town on you though. There are these kind of people that they... Probably resold those cookies when they got home.

I think because I'm younger, they think like, we gotta pay him back or whatever. And so yeah, there's a lot of like, let me buy dinner and then they like, leave a hundred under the plant or something. Ah, that's nice. That kind of stuff, which is very sweet, but you're like, I make money, I have money. I know, I have that same dynamic too. It's like, now that you're, I'm 37 and answer something. Ah, that's gross. That kind of stuff, which is very sweet, but you're like, I make money, I have money.

I know, I have that same dynamic too. It's like, now that you're, I'm 37 and it's like, they're still like, you know, let me get it for you. I'm like, I do well, I have a job, I make money. It's okay, I can buy water rice for everybody. I get that at 47, but I was a loser for so long. Of course, yeah, up until, for so long. A year ago.

Yeah. That's the thing is, this psychological studies, your family sees you as who you were as a kid. For sure. I still get shit, because I chickened out on Space Mountain 30 years ago, they still make fun of me for it. And I'm like, well, I've been in a helicopter in Iraq

since then. Like I've really, I've lived. Sure. I'm not, you know, I'm sure I'm worried about flesh eating diseases in AI, but still, I'm out here. I'm gonna go to the worried about flesh eating diseases in AI, but still I'm out here I'm gonna go to the encoster if you want me to hear that chip. Yeah, I sprinted from the subway to the studio, but I'm here Do you really run places?

No, I know I don't run places, but I'll we I will run from people if it gets I haven't run in a while But I've had a couple people where I'm like, all right, take care. I'll just go ahead and have a look. A taxi. But I imagine we all would, I mean, I had two guys, I mean, I've told the story, I've had two guys screaming in my face. Yeah, I would back off of that for sure.

Yeah, city style, you see. I'm a big runner. That's why I wear the sneakers. You got damn track star. You got damn right. What were your events, by the way? I ran in track. I ran the mile.

And it's all four years, it was track. Yeah, so I ran cross country I was planning to play baseball is a big baseball guy, but my going into my freshman year going into that season I was Ineligible because I failed two classes and the classes were algebra and introduction to computers Took algebra in eighth grade. No, this is ninth grade. That's still pretty good And the classes were algebra and introduction to computers. Took algebra in eighth grade? No, this is ninth grade. That's still pretty good.

I think that's what it is. Is it? Yeah, no, I was- It's like eighth or ninth grade at that. I took that my senior year. No, I never, like people took calculus. I never got to calculus. Now fuck that shit.

Yeah, I was not good. That wasn't my cup of tea, you know. But I failed into the computers, which was really humiliating. But anyway, so I was ineligible. You could figure out Oregon Trail. It was tough. I don't know.

There was a mouse involved and I couldn't do it. I'm never gonna need this. This is nonsense. I'm a books man. But because I was ineligible, my cross country coach was also the track coach. He said, you can be on the track team, you just can't compete, but we'll let you practice with us.

But I couldn't try out for a team I was ineligible for. So I just did that. But yeah, so I went cross country, winter track, spring track, all three seasons, all four years. Was it school good? We were unbelievable, baby. We didn't, our spring track, we didn't lose a meet from 1990 to like 2001.

We were pretty, I was in 12 seasons, 12 conference championships. The team. It's that. Yeah. It's all right, Joe. It's a accomplished fucking athlete over here. Yeah, my coach is like, Hall of Fame, Coach Black, shut up. Still around.

Hall of Famer. Do you have any of those trophies in the apartment? No, I got no high school, anything. Caret of it all. Sure, it's in a box somewhere. I'm sure my parents have it in a box. Kip, let's talk about liquid death. Oh yeah!

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Yeah, I remember the first time I had liquid death. I was crazy. I was crazy young over it was at the bottom of a cooler I reached down because I don't like sparkling water, but they got the regular water I got the mountain water the straight up artisanal water. I cracked this thing baby Accured about 15 hangovers in two minutes. Dude, forget all that. Just rest and peaches all right. Yeah, it's fantastic. Their cans have the coolest art on them and might just be the inspiration for your next tattoo. If you're a biker, they're also knocking out of the park with their merch, grab yourself a hoodie a hat or even a flask that looks like a casket. 30 calories in this. That's it. It's not bad. You can find liquid

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to the show. Is your room still set up at your parents house? A little bit. It's not like it was, but there's still a room with the bed and there's bed, and there's a couple of like my photos hanging in there. But it's not like, I used to have pictures and posters on every inch of the thing. And I always, now how do you guys feel about this? Because my sister, she was resentful because she moved out and they immediately turned it into like a family room, a den, or whatever.

My bedroom remained like a bedroom for years, and she thought that was insulting to her But I was like no no, this is insulting to me. I Went to pursue comedy. They're like leave his bedroom the way back. He's gonna be back I've seen his clothes are I'll be back. Is this on the second floor? Well, we only had one floor right? Just one little no baseman's underground. No basement, no stairs. It looks like the exact monopoly house. Yeah.

It's green. Same size. The roof and house of the same color. But to me it was like they were like, don't touch anything. He ain't going anywhere. He ain't going anywhere. I mean, I didn't take offense. I just thought, no, you're in the bed.

My sister moved out and they were like, she's gone. She's good. She's okay. She's all far own making her way in the world. Yeah, this city at Thinksy's Seinfeld, he's coming back. I'd be more pissed if they redid it. I wouldn't care, I have no sentimental value to any of that stuff. My room's still somewhat the same. It's still my room.

Yeah. Yeah, mine too, I suppose. But she lives a couple blocks away, she's fine. There you go. What was your style like in high school? I can see you like a Jean Jacket kind of guy. My style has not changed at any point ever in my life. I've been wearing the same exact thing.

Came out of the womb with glasses and a ball. I don't know. Bruins t-shirt. Go swaps! Jeans at running sneakers. 100% of the way you could go to any, the only thing you might find is the long sleeve tee with the short sleeve over it.

That was man and that was man. That was great for my body. Like it, it pads the man boots. That was a chubby kids bread and butter right there. That was nice and, but- At a paracargo shorts. You go, maybe the shorts have changed. I would have jean shorts and I always felt this way

about shorts. No one ever emails you to tell you the style changed. They like, I would wear Jean shorts and then they'd be like, look at this, did it with Jean shorts, you're like, shit, I guess I gotta go, I gotta go cargo. And then one day they were like, cargo, whoa. Wait, were you wearing Jean shorts that weren't cut off? Just regular Jean shorts.

I did, everybody did. Hem'd up ones? Like you bought, yeah, like a, never, never, were never cool. Yeah, they were cool when were they cool Dad's wore that shit. I'm telling you they were cool. It was cool for sure. Yeah, like fifth grade when I was at fifth grade Whatever that is 93 92 Yes 90s were cool and then I cut off. Yeah No, even yeah, but cut off Cutoffs were not not saying they weren't cool. They were cool, but Gene Schrobergular,

hand Gene Schroberg's ball at the store were in fashion. Those are big. I have somewhere, there's a picture of me. I've posted it before playing League basketball with the Jersey and Gene Schroberg's on picture day. Gene Schroberg, I take it back. They are cool. Yeah, somewhere that exists me and Jean shorts and a pair of shoes on He's got the high black socks He's slipping all over the court

Coach black screaming it was yeah, I mean, I don't know what happened that day But I had Jean short, but Gene Short's were the thing. And then cargo were cool. Cargo was cargo. I remember cargos. I remember there was a point, and it's obviously aged, you know, different, but there was a point where if you had khaki shorts without cargo pockets, that was like loserville.

Like you were like, that was like what your dad would wear. If you had a set of Bermuda's on, that was like, you couldn't go to school with that. You had to have pockets. Wasn't Bugleboy something? Bugleboy was real short. Those were shorts. Bugleboy jeans.

Yeah, then he started making his shorts. Do you guys wear shorts to high school? You wear shorts in high school? Yeah, summertime. Never. Probably not. Toby, you weren't short. Junior high for sure.

Really? Junior high cargo shorts and like a slipknot t-shirt or something. I don't think I ever wore fucking shorts. Yeah, I wore shorts, but yes, basically my style haircut, 100% the same, this very little, other than jean shorts and a basketball game, there's not a lot of looking and be like, look at my pants, I never pegged my pants. I never spiked my hair. I never had Jibbo, whatever. Where would you go, shop back to school shopping?

Was it like, Marshall, was it anywhere? Your mom just would be like, I got you three pairs of jeans. This is what you're wearing. Sears, because my aunt worked at Sears. I worked at Sears later also, and I think we did the discount. They really keep it in the family, these lists. Oh, everyone in my family worked at Sears.

My dad worked at Sears for a little while. So we were refrigerators. The crazy thing is, is on three years younger. Yeah. We were Sears filings, filings basement. Filings basement. I worked at filings also. Jesus, did you?

Yeah, a lot of retail gigs. But yeah, definitely Sears filings, basement, marshals. Well, there'd be a big day where you all go out, you're like, we're going back to school, this up in the car. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Could you pick it out or she was like, this is what you're getting type. No, we would pick it out. And my mother did a good job of trying to get whatever was hot. Yeah, my mother, like, I didn't realize that money was tight. She was very good about being like, okay, well, that's what we're going to get.

I mean, sometimes should be like, no, we're getting this. But I had bad genes most of my life. They just still now, people still upset about my genes. What were you rocking? I guess Levi, whatever Sears had. Levi's, I think, were all right. Back then it was different.

Yeah, but then they started getting, they started getting a little bit of flair to them and just regular straight dad genes were like Levi They weren't the coolest. Yeah, you had to go to button fly at a certain point. No, I never had a button fly Never not wrong. Yeah, anything like I said anything kind of changed. I was like nah And I had some ripped jeans that I would wear, but there was like a natural rip. There you go The best yeah, we didn't buy ripped jeans and will you a party kid in high school? You were boozing in high school Are you soon right? No, I didn't drink to last after high school

No, she is no, I was a I was on the straight and narrow path Would you go to the parties and stuff like that the high school parties and run from the cops and all that shit now We didn't have a good catch them a lot of parties My friends were yeah, it's for the gun to go on I was like a track guy and so a lot of my friends were like really Validictorian the time I was like the dummy loser and one group of friends and then I had other friends that were a little tougher But we never went to parties we started I started drinking right after high school But like they smoked cigarettes and would dip

But I didn't participate in that. And then we didn't go to parties. We had poker games. We were big like pokerer. Friday night was like poker night or go to the mall and walk around or whatever. Couldn't have swore you just said you were cool in high school. I'm telling you, these were the cool guys.

I mean, they were smoking but poker is cool. We played poker for an eight-year-old man. I'm sure. How do you think your high school works? We, but it was not a big party. You know parties and finger tips. This is Ace's one eyed faces. Couple parties.

I mean, that was always the classic. That was always the classic thing in the, in like the 80s and 90s high school movies. The nerds that got the courage to go to the party. It was always the poker. It started at the poker game. Like we should be out there. We should be going to the party. Oh, always the poker, it started at the poker game. Like, we should be out there. We should be going to the party. Oh, they were having a drink and like,

and W rootbear and smoking cigars. Well, sometime, I mean, I also had friends like, junior senior, they were like in the coolest band. They were called Weldon Hill and they like kicked ass. They were like, the we were, I was at the cool band guys. I, I swung with the best of them, baby. I had the cross country guy. He was a roadie. I was a man guy

I mean I could you walked in multiple worlds. I could dip everywhere. Yeah, you know it max you me here the whole guy the whole game You named the place I was there, but we only had a few party parties, but Yeah, maybe there was a lot and I wasn't invited Yeah, am I wrong here? You're not. Leave me hanging here. I'm not. I'm a green. There was probably more parties

that you did not get invited to. For sure. But also, playing poker. Right after high school, we started having more parties. And I was the party house, but not till after high school. Because my parents would go away and then we'd have everybody over.

But we had like raging crazy parties, like ages like 18, 19, 20, 21 like all those like this is crazy. It's loud. We're listening to music. All that stuff. People are hooking up in my parents bedroom. That came after high school for me.

Okay. As soon as high school ended, I was like a piece of shit because I started comedy right away. Right. So I started hanging out with like 35 year old deadbeat generates. Yeah. It went south fast. Did you hear about that List Party was not saying music? Yeah.

It was music. There was some fingering. Somebody got fingered somewhere. I picture just a bunch of like 42 year old open bikers hanging out. That's what it was. I mean, all your high school friends like who are those guys?

Many Clark passed that in your parents' bed. Yeah. Very, very cats handing out business cards. Who are those guys? Any Clark pass that in your parents' bed? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It would be a thing like I would bump into people or I would have like friends, for high school friends come to the show and I'm like, we all go out after and then being like, what are you doing? Like these guys are like balding assholes. And it lists, let me borrow 10 bucks. But to me, like, I was like, that's John Fish. Look at that.

And they were like, that's just a 35 year old guy. That's a guy who's unsuccessful at the moment. Yeah, so it was a weird transition, I guess. But yeah, I do remember, and my parents probably thought this too, because I would be like, hey, I'm heading to New York City with a couple guys, and it would be like a 50 year old man. Sure. Driving me to New York City.

Like, it would be a guy my dad's age. That's very quickly after graduating. My friends were the same age as my parents. I know that. It's such a weird lifestyle. It is, and then my parents never question it. They're like, you're going to New York with this man who's a purifier of ours.

Have fun. Get some cookie. Mom, dad, you know Dom Myrera, right? We're going away for a weekend. He's a good kid. I don't say this, oh, shout out to Dom Myrera. Love Dom. We're going away for a weekend. He's a good kid. I don't say this, oh, shout out to the drummer. Love dumb, man. Me too, the best.

Well, yeah, it was, it was, oh, I guess. But I was cool, I sweared a good. Few parties, but I, but few parties. I felt that way even through my 20s, I always thought, let's go to the, let's have a small hand because we're funny guys. Sure. Who needs the big duplah?

Yes. We make the duplah. Exactly. We are the duplah. I had the last night we did a live. He's girls in good times, huh? We had a live Tuesday's with stories and to roll some of that.

We got the poker chips and let's get wild. I'm still down for a poker. Me too, as well. As well as a poker. I'm still down for a poker. Me too, as well as a poker. I guarantee those cigars are just pretzel rods too. We spoke like Philly Blunts. Yeah. But we drank, baby. There you go.

We were drunk and getting naked running around. I was a big stealer of signs and stuff. I got after it. You were mischiffy a little bit, right? You pulled some high jinks in the school? Yes, absolutely. We had, my senior year, we did a lot of fun stuff. One time, me, my friend Jeff Andrews was hilarious. So I think it's a schoolteacher now. We did a protest.

It was a leap year, so there was a February 29th, and so we made posters and signs and said, make leap year every year. One more day equals one more day. Just really tore it up. Well, that was funny. This is during school hours guys I mean that's wild What would you do with the set you walked around the school with the signs? Yeah, it was funny and people walked by going What is this it was kind of alternative comedy like an Andy? Kaufman kind of thing. I think Joe slowly realizing he was a door

People were like that's wild one time like, that's wild. One time. That's wild. Hey, watch out. This guy's making signs over here, everybody. One time, we went into the home at class. Whoa, and we made muffins for everybody. No, no. We smushed the sugar with the salt.

We stole it. Can you look making that recipe work? We stole an egg. That's who Flays gonna fall. Stolen egg. We stole an egg. That's who Flays gonna fall. We stole an egg. Wait, do you hear the pun? Surprise you're still not doing time for it. We had a courtyard in our school.

We dropped the eggs to it broke. Then we went to the gymnasium, stole three orange cones. We put the cones around the egg. So people all day, every student would walk by and just look at even the teachers. The teachers, the adults would walk by. It's like every group, all right? It's not just the students.

They would say, hey, look at this, who'd put this there. They all day. They all day. It's called at the height of the century. Yeah. That's pretty good. An egg. You know, the town's really based. An egg.

You know the town's really based on Joe List. And we cut class. With permission on the Islify. We cut class. But go to the library and read. Now I would just skip school. Would you dip out? I did.

So what happened was I had perfect attendance, but I would skip classes I would just go we would leave or hide my girlfriend at the time when I would go down into the boiler room I found out you could open that door and we would hide in the boiler room and play cards and hang out throughout an entire class Which is pretty quite a caper. So it's like 200 degrees in there It would rather be in class So it's like 200 degrees in there. You're so welcome. It would be rather being classed.

It would be, hey, Tina, come down here. I'm pitching again, Cotton. What are you guys doing in there? That's smoking a weed or nothing? I mean, we weren't even like, fec. or I'm each other or anything like that. We literally just hung out. It was quite innocent.

But it would be awkward, because at the end of the semester, I would get the perfect attendance award, but also on the report counter, be like, you missed 14 days of math, 11 days of science. So I would have absences and perfect attendance, which was pretty wise.

That reminds me of that Regan bit where he's at work, building bikes, and he takes them into the wall. He goes back and he finds a space between the two layers of drywall, and then he just gets back in there, and it's Regan and the guy, and they're like, this is how good it is. He's got rather people to fucking buy. And they just gets back in there and it's Regan the guy

How good is this he's got rather be fucking funny Just in the wall like that's a great bit We hide out in the dumpster all day Shout out to Brian Regan You guys had him on no, I would love to have you guys an all-time fake first comedy show. I've ever seen yeah was Brian Regan. He's incredible The tower theater. Yeah, it was great. Um, he was the first person to break it because people started yelling out Bits at the end like pop the right not pop or big newton's or whatever and he did it a little differently

Obviously because the bit was from like five years ago and He missed a line and someone yelled out the actual line that was on the special recording and he's like, yeah I'm he's like it's did like you do it different every time and that like blew my mind I was like I thought he was just like reading it like it was like so but had to be perfect every time now He's incredible someone asked this last night at our pukas who your desert island special in mind is Brian We got walked on the moon. It's great. It's the thing about the cranberries is great crane great crane Yeah, yeah, I can brilliant. No, he's just killing. It's the thing about the cranberries is great. Cran grape, cranberry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking brilliant.

No, he's just killing. He's awesome. I don't know if we asked you this. Do you drive into school? No, I didn't have my license till after school. I got a ride. Senior year I rode with my friend Brendan O'Leary. Everyone's an O'Leary.

Oh, something. Yeah, sure. And what kind of car was it? Oh, I don't know. Maybe like a Ford Tourist or something. It certainly wasn't a nice car. But yeah, Oh, I don't know maybe like a Ford tourists or something It certainly wasn't a nice okay car, but yeah, no, I didn't have my license till after in fact I took my driver's test my senior year. Why is that can I ask? I don't know it was 16 up there Yeah, and I think I was just first of all in general. I think 16 is too young to drive a car

I think it's insane that 16 year olds are driving Did you think that then? I think I did in general, drive a car. I think it's insane that 16 year olds are driving. Did you think that then? I think I did in general, but I was, my thing was like, So where he'd 65? So more. We shouldn't be doing this. I was like, I changed the age or whatever,

but I also, everyone I knew had cars so people would drive you around. And there wasn't a car available for me too. It was gonna be one of those deals. So I just wasn't in a big hurry. You're parents each had a car though, right? Yes. So I just felt like, I don't know,

I wasn't in a big hurry. I don't really know why. I was having a good time and I was like, I'll get to that. But you weren't taking the bus like you're Jr. and Senior. You're somebody who was driving, you're picking up your bicycle. Yeah, yeah.

I took the bus like freshman sophomore year, I guess. Was the bus stop close to you? Uh, end of the street, I think. Yeah, but I then went and took it my senior year and I failed the driver's test. And this is so brutal, because I took it during school hours, because that was the only time.

And I came back in, I remember this psychology class, we walked in and everyone went there, yeah! And they started clapping, like Henry, after his first trial. You popped your cherry. And I walked in and I went there. Yeah, they started clapping like like Henry after his first trial You popped your cherry and I walked in and I had to be like I didn't I didn't pass and so the applause died. I just had to sit there like a dick But I get a ride home later. I got my license now folks and I can really cook And I can really cook. Ten to.

Mario and Dredi up there. They're really cooking on his streets. Drive like a lane. It wasn't until I graduated, I started doing comedies. Like, okay, now I gotta do the driving. You gotta leave the city. I gotta get some way. Yeah, for sure.

God damn. Yeah. Why, what, two, I think we did it with, no, we did it with Norman and Morrell. A big, obviously, you're a big sign guy, big sign felt guy. As are we. Who do you think the best stand alone?

One episode character is, that's only made one appearance. The best one off character. Boy, that's tough. Because somebody of the best ones come back a couple times. Sure. At least one off.

Go. There's a couple of standout ones. You said one last night. One last night, it's gotta be the boil. If you go back and watch that every every word out of his mouth is a laugh really the more the Moil is every words upon or bookman bookman obviously a bookman's fun God damn I got a really Think about this one Todd Gack That's a great episode around him, but his whole thing is very funny. Oh

The Tony Harding lady is pretty amazing the understudy. Yes, the other study she was pretty amazing, but Midler's amazing course Yeah, boy one one time OTO T.O. One so much. Also, the one I just saw, I was watching yesterday who the guy's great was when they volunteer with the old people, the guy Jerry gets, whose teeth fall out and they take his records, same thing, every word out of his mouth is going for a laugh. Yeah.

Boy, I wish I had time to think about this one, but we'll be right back. Awesome. And cut. Mm. Yes, all right. No, no, no, no, it's fine. I'll think about back. And cut. Mm. Yeah, sorry. I know, no, no, it's fine. I'll think about it. Call us later.

Um, but we did it with Norman. And I think it's everybody come. Everybody falls on Bookman and the Moil for a lot of the time. Same thing with Fiori Donnelly. Yeah, but here's an underrated one. Elaine's dad. Oh, yeah. That's up there.

I mean, one of my all time favorite lines is, we'll tell him we're frightened and we have Oh, Lane's dad. Oh, yeah. That's up there. I mean, one of my all time favorite lines is, we'll tell him we're frightened and we have to leave. I mean, that's pretty amazing. Which one are you supposed to be the funny guy? Yeah, that's him. He's the comedian. Well, you're packing.

So you were excited for school. Yeah, I think I was a high school. Yeah, high school, I loved it. My junior senior, you're probably something or two. I loved every day of high school. I thought it was a high school. Yeah, high school. I loved it my junior senior year probably something or two I loved every day of high school. I thought it was just I was a very bad student But I loved seeing everybody. I loved lunch. I really hit a stride there and Will you buy in your lunch or will you bring in it? I I bought lunch and this is my you're gonna find this not believable 100% of the days of school,

my lunch was four chocolate chip cookies and eliminate. I believe that, yeah. I was like a soft pretzel and an iced tea, cut-type guy or something. You'd have breakfast in the morning at the house, right? I eat a couple bowls of, the fact that I don't have diabetes is wild. I just ate a bunch of cereal and then I would go. We had lunch at like 11, 30 AM.

It would be four cookies, a lemonade. Then I would go to the rest of school and run like seven, eight miles on taking off that mega home and have dinner. Yeah. And then it would be like a McDonald's or Burger King. Typically really? Horse spaghetti, mac and cheese. Well, your parents buy in the burger king and McDonald's that much? Yeah, we went to Burger King a lot. We were a big Burger King family. Did your mom cook at all? She cook, I had Burger King.

She would cook whatever, I was very picky. She would, they would have whatever the fuck. I don't know. You got to wait with that? As a kid? As a very picky eater. The mom did, they get sick of it. They go just let them get fucking Burger King

and that's that. Who would take you to Burger King My mother I think my mother father. Yeah, whoever so they come home from work Drive driving driving back and forth to work come home. She'd make a dinner for the family And then after run out to Burger King to get you Burger King. Yeah, someone would take me to whoever wasn't cooking would go and drive It burger. I'm trying to make him feel bad about that again By the way lane it on a big guy Burger King. I'm trying to make him feel bad about it. And back again, by the way, I'm really laying it on a big guy. Burger King was a fin ski. I mean, it was like $4.80,

two cheeseburgers fry, and we would go to Puppa Gino's a lot. You know, like that was the big pizza joint. Sure. A lot of pizza, and then at home, if they could, it would be mac and cheese, you know, Brickettoni, Marinette. You would eat that stuff.

Yeah, okay. A lot of that. Maybe a taco Tuesday occasionally. Love a taco Tuesday. Yeah. Will you a taco salad guy? Is a big taco taco salad? No, I don't care for a taco salad. Love it. I like a salad. I like a taco I don't mix them. What are they doing together? All right, we got Joe list here. Let's do some Questions gang when you sign up for the patreon. We will answer your garbage question on a year

patreon gets first crack at it. That's just the way we do it around here. Oh, speaking of school, this is from Dave the Barbarian, brand new $10 homie, shut out to you. Yeah. You were anyone to try to nickname yourself. I once gave myself in sixth grade the nickname D money, but it never stuck.

Oh wow, I call my best friend D money. D money's an issue, that's a good one. Yeah. But did you have a nickname? Or did you push for a nickname, T-bone, anything? No, and again, not, certainly not in school. And comedy, my friends start calling me kids menu. That was like, hey kids menu.

That's good, there you go. Which was fun. My uncle, Dale, the same age one, he's always called me the outlaw. Or not, maybe not always, but since I started drinking. I like it. Yeah, the outlawed. Jolis.

Yeah, that's all right. Because he was trying to come up with Nick before, right as you walked in, he was coming up like the freak Jolis, just something like outlawed. The outlawed, Jolis. I mean, he still calls me, like if we call, and it's like earnest, because they last name his Campbell, so I call him soup, and he said,

hey, I say, hey, soup, and he goes, hey, outlaw, it's like, it's not even like not even like any outlaw yeah it's just what he calls me that's like trucker call so yeah yeah yeah soup in the outlaw all right I'd watch that movie somebody get burnt Reynolds on the phone soup in the outlaw coming to a poker game near you and we got after it too we could really get it going. Yeah, we got we got wild. But no, no self-imposed. Certainly no. Like for me to walk down the living room one day, me like everyone called me switchblade from now on. No, certainly not. And no nickname back to I mean, list. They would be like,

a list or whatever. Maybe a Joey. Hey, Joey. Sure. Is it a weird how there were kids grew up with that their last name fit as a name and other ones didn't like you know what I mean like lists. I only Ryan people try to say Ryan and it's like you're just confusing him. Yeah, Ryan you're like what that does it just doesn't work. Yeah, but you're like you're all last name. Holy I totally yeah, my mom calls him. But like two of my best friends growing up Brad Kramer and Seth Collins. Kramer was Kramer. Obviously, Collins doesn't work.

Collins doesn't work. We just call him Seth. Yeah. Interesting. Well, in Boston, everything's e Joey, Johnny, you're feeling the same. Kevin, yeah, put a little, yeah, put a little love on it. You got to throw it out there. Yeah. I mean, Kippy stuck from Keith Robinson, but I hated it at the moment, but it just fucking, it's just is what it is. Interesting. Yeah.

I have a thing where I can't, I never call anybody by their regular name. I like to have something. I do the same thing. I love it too. Yeah, I just, I don't know what it is. When you go to the doctors, will you say, thanks, Doc.

Will you hit him with a doc? Or do you say, doctor? I mean, hit him with a doc? Or do you say doctor? I mean, I don't go to the doctor very often. So, and the last time I did it was a woman, so I don't know, I don't think I'd do a doc. No, no doc. I do it a lot. I do it at the report is there I feel.

Like that's Doc. But I did it not that long ago with my cardiologist, but it was in the hallway. I feel like they're completely different people from in the hallway to in the room Like I just happened to catch him coming out I was back in my room in my examination room and I went to pee and I saw him in the hallway I'm like, hey, what's going on doc? And he gave me shot me a look like shut your fat fucking mouth

Hmm, but then when he's in the room. He's doing material. It's crowd work. He's fantastic Are you from interesting? Yeah, I first of all, I should go to the doctor more frequently. Stop talking about it. Here we go. Yeah, I'm just, I'm like, I gotta check. I gotta check for fleshing diseases. And, Doc, you hear about these loisties? Well, I had some high BP last time I was there.

It's not good. But yeah, I don't think I do a doc, no doc. Okay. Yeah. I just brought this, year you're obviously a big boozer I was just in Boston last weekend have you ever been to O's Sullivan's tap out like right by the garden yes I have my first fan I don't think there's an oh I think it's just Sullivan my piece of Sullivan's but I had my

first legal drink there no shit my 21st birthday saw the Washington Wizards play the Celtics Jordan's last game in Boston. No shit. I went to Sullivan's and I was like, this is my first beer legally or whatever. That place is all right. Yeah, that's a great time. I was just there recently when I went to Springsteen. So yeah, I'm not a whole in the wall. We were walking by, we just need somewhere to grab a beer and I look up as like Sullivan's

tap out. They claim the oldest sports bar or the oldest, there's some sort of thing they got going and I was like, damn, this I walk in, it smells like a dive shit bar, it's awesome. It's a real shit hole, it's great, I love it, great area. That whole area is so different when I grew up, it's bananas. Yeah, it's like, I mean, like, now the stadium's like pristine.

Yeah. It looks like a mall in LA or something like when you walk up that. And there used to be like an elevated train there, it was loud, it was a totally different spot, but yeah, I know Sully's. Thanks, I know Sully's thanks. I know Sully's Listie's down in the yellow down there in Sully's he's got his pants on his head. He's crazy list these good too. I like Listie. I got a lot of

Yeah, Liste list LISD you know that story my first open mic I said my last name is list LIST and the guy was like you got it and he brought me up He goes this next guy's a comedian Joe list dial SD he thought that was my last name Which is hilarious Yeah, list is big that's fun. That's good. Oh, but all right. Let's get into some goddamn questions We burn all the fucking time just hanging out Let's see here this one's from Alex and I was speaking of Boston shot at that shot at the mr Nello kid Have you ever called and complained to a house my driving sticker? Let's see here this one's from Alex and I was speaking of Boston shout out that shout out to mr. Nellow kid Have you ever called and complained to a house my driving sticker?

No, I want to a lot. I haven't I want to just the other day I was walking there was a yellow cab parked and I'm this guy now I reached this age he just took his crumple up a bag He was like having his snack break and he just dropped it out. Yeah, now. Yeah, I hate that too It's a window I stopped and I went you just throw your trash in the ground like that Crumple up a bag, he was like having his snack break and he just dropped it out. Yeah, I hate that too. What do you do? The window. I stopped and I went, you just throw your trash in the ground like that. That's what you do.

And the guy, I felt back, I felt like he actually spoke zero English and was like, and then he just kind of stopped drinking. And I was like, no, what are you gonna do? But I did write down 4K, 9.5 and I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna really report this guy. And then like a half an hour later, 4K 9.5 and I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna really report this guy and then like a half an hour later I was in my notes and I was like I'm not doing that So I'm getting there. I'm gonna progress. I've dipped my toe in I'm always a little bit paranoid if I do call it just goes right to them like Fuck you. But see you know what I mean like pull over you bald headed whatever and I got a fighting guy on H

Street. I don't want that. Come right in. We'll discuss this first. I've called 911 on the highway because there was some lunatic driving one time and he like, break checked me or something like that and then sped off and he was like, fucking weave and through. And we were, I was driving down to Jersey to turn back I was like fucking call 911 right and trying to like pin him out

But they never even showed up. Wow fucking Nork. Yeah, I can carry full over here. Yeah, really right now I try to have a good time probably late for work or something drop it by yeah All right, let's see here. This one's tough. Perfect. one's from Stay in the Catty. Shout out to Stay in the Catty. Never have one red. Has anyone you known ever bought a frozen pizza to Thanksgiving dinner? Yikes. I wouldn't hate it as I love a frozen zop. You'll do Thanksgiving, right?

Yeah, my family, I have done this at Christmas dinner, had a de Jorno with Sarah's family. Just cooking a de Jorno. Why? Because I didn't get enough to eat. We talked aboutorno with Sarah's family. Just cooking a dejorno. Why? Cause I didn't get enough to eat. We talked about this with Sarah. I think they eat like 400 calories a day. Show me what you talk about that. So I do bring a dejorno.

You see, he didn't mention a dejorno though. Yeah, yeah. I guess for after. Like a stack of dejornos that I'm cooking. Oh, for like, okay, not like, so dinner's over. Maybe this one goes up to bed. This one's watching TV. Hey, I'm gonna pop in a pizza.

Yeah, they didn't go to bed. It's like a half hour later. Just no. I'm gonna tell you to tell us that last night. They're in dessert. I have a solo de jorna like Kevin McAllister. Just eating it. But I've done, I haven't brought it, but Thanksgiving,

I never can't but Thanksgivingy stuff. Turkey sucks, stuffings, whatever. I, we want pizza. We're a pizza for thanksgiving people. Oh, why don't we ask Joe the famous pizza question? Well, you know what he's gonna say? Yes, I need more points on my side, which is the winning side from here on out.

That'll be like subset. Cause I've lost this argument, but okay. Now he's gonna say, if you, if you knew he was gonna agree with you, you would ask the fucking question. Of course, all right, fine. You go to an Italian place that specializes in coal fire pizzas, okay?

Okay. Um, so let's say it's you and Sarah, you get some appetizers, you share them. It comes time to order dinner. Okay. Sarah gets the salmon. You get a whole, or you get the salmon, he's not going to eat this. I eat salmon. I like salmon.

The argument shouldn't be a place that specializes in pizza. They specialize in pizza. Do you think it's weird to get a pizza as an entree? A pizza just for yourself. He's doing it. He's doing it at Christmas. I know. He's stupid. I'm as an entree. A pizza just for yourself. He's doing it at Christmas. I know, he's stupid. I'm all pizza entree.

Yeah. Yes. But I don't do it in an Italian place. I'll get a chicken par. Oh, whatever. Like a gentleman. Yeah, no, you hate the chicken par. Don't try to, don't try to, don't try to.

The point is, I'm a big chicken par man myself. It's the sense of three things. It's the best three things. No, chicken parms the best. It's the three things. It's the best three things. No, chicken farm is the best. It's the best, dude. You can have it on the plate. You can have it on a roll anything. I'm in.

Lewis Katz just did a fucking face-fronting thing about how he hates chicken pie. I blocked him. I'm holding the crazy again. That's crazy. He's like chicken farm. He's the arms the best. That's nuts.

I have a frame photo of him, me and Bargazzi on a tank and Kuwait. I ripped it up and threw it up. Throw it away. The hate that the chicken parm gets is crazy. I've never heard of that in my life. Anybody hate and check it He's like if he's had to be a kid. He's a kind of guy. It goes to a Thai restaurant gets a chicken parm I'm saying yeah, the thing on the menu. I'm not sure you're supposed to do. Yeah, you get if you go to an old school place You get a chicken parm for a point is and the last time I'm talking about this. I'll tell you right now Because it's everybody's fucking nuts Pizza is something Theoretically that should be shared

And when somebody gets that after appetizers and whatever and gets it as an entree that's weird Toby and I both agreed to it. No, it's just crazy to have heard my life Pizza for one solo this guy's taking the journals to the head by the way I get no, which I respect that self rising cross is all right. I mean I never heard of that one time my life You get a pizza meeting pizza You do you you don't do me He a cookie's for eight years High school for four it was five years. It was car bloating. He was cross years. I wasn't a high school for four. It was five years.

He was coerblowed in. He was cross country. I had to run. No, pizza's an entree, of course. Yeah. Be a dessert. Entree the judge. I do like those dejorna's.

I like them. That's the one that I have to have with a couple glasses of milk. Is it dejorna? My, my, my, this is so good. He'll come into sure. No. Wendy is shit a couple glasses of milk. Is it DeGorno? Is it across the soap? I'm looking to Giorno. When did you shit a couple of months later? Are you kidding? Did you dip it?

No, but the bite and sip of that. That one, that one the most, because the cross is so specific. I do get that. You know what I'm talking about. It's like a pastry-esque kind of cross. I mean, DeGorno, it's like a pastry. Yes, kind of crust. I mean, Dejorno, everything else is in the stas are driven. It, you know, they're good.

Dejorno blows everything else away. Kills it. Kills it. Quality wise. Yeah. My, I do the, I'll do the self rising crust. I fucking immediately take two slices, crush those. What do you think? In that, that's probably going to be chemicals. I can't be good. It's not good. It's not healthy. It's not good. And then I go back. What do you think's in that? That's probably got to be chemicals. I can't be good. It's not good. It's not healthy. It's not good. And then I go back, I do the third slice,

and then I leave the fourth one sitting out on the counter till it becomes room temperature. And then I go back and crush that like an hour later. Yeah. Yeah, I love it to sure now. I'm thinking I'm going to get one tonight. It's been a while. There you go.

Been a long time. Couple hours. Yeah, I have one for breakfast. Will you give your pizza and ranch? No, get out of here. Come on, ranch. I don't like any, I have one for breakfast. Let's grill this. Will you give your pizza and ranch? No, get out of here. Come on, ranch. I don't like any, I don't like ranch, or blue cheese and all that blue cheese.

So when you do your wing, when you get wingies at the seller, you're raw dog in them. Yeah, because they come with buffalo sauce. I don't need two sauces. I'm the same way with you. I might do a little blue cheese once every five times.

I might, we might have asked you this for, but is there a better wing in New York City than the olive tree? Blondies is pretty amazing. I don't even know if blondies still exist, but that was I've heard that the wings at the seller are fucking very crazy good. Always so good. Blondies was awesome, but yeah, I love a good wing. You know, one of this blows me away is that more places don't have queso. Like Texas everywhere everywhere has K-so, you can't find it anywhere else. I think it's like the dumbest thing. Teemo loves it.

Yeah, a lot of a K-so. Well, you deal with like the sausage in it and stuff like that, though? No. Sausage in a K-so. Like Teresa. Oh, they put it like on the top. It might be mixed in or they'll like put it on the top. Ground beef?

Yeah, maybe some beef. Sausage. I don't, I hear sausage. I just picture a long dick sticking out of the cheese. I don't know. Maybe a little. Couple of Jimmy Deans in there. Man, your uncle cousin really did a number on you.

Yeah, he did that. All right, this is on food as well. This is from Gary Bushwell, $10 banger. How we feel about pepperoni and pasta? I've never heard of that, but I wouldn't throw that out of bed. Pepperoni and pasta. Yeah. If you chopped up pepperoni and pasta, was that a radio duo?

Pepperoni and pasta in the morning? That would be awesome. And another universe. Pepperoni and pasta. Pepperoni and pasta. I mean, I just feel like theyperoni in pasta. Peperoni in pasta. I mean, I just feel like they're fucking with us. No, he said his wife's family does it.

They chop it up and mix it in. Side note, that just remind me, we used to put ice cubes in spaghetti. You ever hear of that? I would do it in soup. One ice cube. Yeah, I would do it in soup like that of those boxes of lip-dyn soup.

You know, cool it down a little bit. Yeah, for a ice cube. I couldn't do that for the, it would make it too watery. But I do love a spaghetti, though. Yeah, for at least you've been doing that. I couldn't do that for the, we'd make it to watery. But I do love a spaghetti, though. Yes, spaghetti is rule, but pepperoni and spaghetti, I've never heard of that. Sounds like a heartburned city, too.

Yeah, I can't imagine. I wouldn't hate it. I might have to give it a shot there. All right, this one's from Sean. Have you ever used your non-dominant hand to fake someone else's handwriting? Yes, I feel that's the way to go. I don't think that, because you're so, at least for me,

I'd be so all over the, I couldn't even question it. I couldn't make the letters though. I would have to try to use my dominant hand and fidget it that. Did you ever try to forge your parents signature on anything? No, I don't think so. I wasn't a big, I was always so afraid of getting cut, like that feeling of like, Joe listed the principal's office. I suck, yeah. I was not so afraid of getting caught, like that feeling of like, you know, Joe listed the principal's office.

I suck, yeah. I was not a forger. I knew people that could do it perfectly. Like on a dime, could just copy somebody's signature. I could never do it. I was already like, my dad's was comically bad.

Comically, comically bad to the point where it just became known before my brothers and my sisters went through that his is so bad, that like I would get called, they would get us, you know, they'd be like, hey, you forged this and they would call my dad and my dad be like, no, I signed it. So like once that happened, I was like,

oh, I can just fucking, they know it's so bad. I can just sign whatever. I went to fourth grade, we had a kid that transferred and then we became friends. He was a great guy, arch criminal though. Literally, arch criminal. That's what I was his name. He would forge, archie criminal. Um, that's how it's his name. He would for Archie criminal. He and anytime he did really bad. I was getting

trouble anytime he had something to go home. He would sign it. Like, dude, you're going to get trouble. I'm going to get in trouble. I finally ended the year. He's like, you know how I always got away with it. It's like the first one they gave me. I signed it myself. So they think it was compared to that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's really smart. That's like really thinking ahead. Yeah. So I'm telling you. Yeah, that's really smart. That's like really thinking ahead. Yeah, so I'm down yet. Yeah, that's diet. I've always had that. He's in jail now. Oh, for sure. All right, this one's from Zach. What workout equipment is allowed to be on the front porch just to couple the dumbbells, a bench press, a bow flex. I don't think anything now. Maybe some dumbbells

I'd give you if you're out there, you know, popping up the guns, but if there's like a wall on the port like that half wall, yeah, have them hidden. That's what I'm saying, maybe, maybe. Exercise bike. Anything. There's a couch on that porch too, for sure. And a pit bull with no collar.

Yeah. Chewing a tire. And a beware of dog sign on a screen door with no screen. Yeah, outdoor exercise equipment's a tough look. Yeah, that should be in a basement. But then like it's like if you live in like, you know, a small home, like in Queens or something like a, you know, a single, like a row home or whatever, where you're going to put it in your dining room, like you're kind of jammed up.

I guess so, but I think yeah, it's not time for you to work out. I don't know. I don't know. I've got to play in a fitness. Yeah, just, I mean, it's not time for you to work out. Oh, I know. I know. I'm sure I've got to play in a fitness. Yeah, just, I mean, like picking up a plate and ripping grass at the same time just feels a little weird. You're like on a bench press, it's uneven because it's on a hill. I don't know.

Anybody working out on their front porch is in and out of prison. Yeah. Right. I'm picturing the white wife be there. Of course. Yeah, I don't think they're too concerned with curb appeal either. They're just like, I'm getting I got to get this in. That's a tough look. I just picture your parole officer walking up.

What? It's not Tuesday. Been here all day. Yeah, I gotta say I'm that's that's a problem. That guy. It's bad news. Sorry. No, I can't abide. All right, let's do one or two more here. This one's from garbage, Emma Rittis. When the remote control, when the remote control dies, is a garbage replace only one battery instead of both of them.

That's the move. I've been, yeah, I have to do it. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it just needs a, if you can't, if you don't have another, because I think this is based on the scarcity of batteries. If you have to like take it out of something else, you only put it in one. I think the rule with that is, okay, the remote dies. You take the batteries out and put them back in. That's the first thing.

You can get a little more juice out of it. Sometimes you swap them. Then you start doing test by test. You do the one, see if it works. You do the other one, see if it works. And you're taking that from something else. Another remote. That's not coming from a fresh pack of batteries.

Yeah. Who the fuck had that? Now my mom has a toolbox that has like 400 batteries in it. All for Dildos. I got to say my dad worked at a hospital. He was in charge of purchasing. That was his thing, his occupation. So we always had bad, he would take batteries, help him not blowing up his shit.

He would not not blow up. He still worked here. We had drawer at a different hospital. We had drawer. Keep it up and Liste. Drawer's full of batteries. That was like the one real, that's a pretty solid perk.

It was good. And you guys are gonna love this. That's why they were okay, throw one five bucks a night on Burger King for you. You can all that battery money. Save it on all that battery money. Save it on a battery money. It was in a drawer where we kept the, what of a China we had?

It was like a, a China cabinet. A China cabinet. It was in a China cabinet drawer. So it'd be China and batteries. So ours were there too in the dining room. What a hell. Was there actual China in the China cabinet? Did you guys have nice plates?

No. Tung-tung depressors and rubber gloves. Yes. I mean. So we kept the China cabinet. Did you guys have nice plates? No. I was telling you. Tung-dupressors and rubber glows. I mean... So we kept the MRI machine. It wasn't fine, but it was something, it was different. It was different. It was like, yeah, it was Tibet. It was... It was pronounced so low.

It was... It was adjacent to China. South Korean plates. It was, yeah, it was Mongolia and, uh, when would they be broken out? What would the occasion have to be at the list house? Never. My parents did have one, it was almost like a cigar bar.

They must have been a wedding gift from somebody that was like actual, I think, silver, China. Was it in one of those boxes? It was in a box, yeah. And it was never used. I mean, we were like a paper plates, eating celestial pizza family. But someone must have given it to them,

and it must still exist somewhere, I'm sure. Maybe I'll get it. All right, couple of boxes. Walking in for dinner, grabbing the chatting with the McRibs back. I break out the good plates. No, I do remember it. I do remember that it was never used.

Never allowed to be touched. Yeah, but it was it was there somewhere All right, well, we got to wrap it up gang buddy. We love you to death. Yeah, always a fucking fun hang Congratulations on the special and not for everybody. Yes out on YouTube right now do yourself a favor You got to see Joe you got to see him live Listen, you know what you know him. He's one of the fucking best working, but we love you. Thank you very much. I love you. What else you got coming up? You want anybody to know? Hit him. Uh, I got a bunch of fun dates. Nashville Philly, October 5th. There you go. Helium. Yeah.

Fucking let's go. Yeah. I shot a joe list right before the baby comes. So helium, October 5th to the 7th and, uh, Nashville September 21st, the 23rd. I think it is at Zane. So those are going to be fun. And are you guys at Skankfest? We're not this year. Oh, yeah. That's a pull down. We're going to have a line. Yeah. Oh, son of an onion. Well, I'll be at Skankfest. Sad. But completely upset. And then Royal Oak, I think right before the baby, I think October, like 21st and 22nd, like a week before the baby. A new baby coming. This this kids killing it. I'm scared to death Yeah, just missed

Kippy what he got for gang like we said in the beginning we're all over the road shows are fucking selling out Thank you shout out to the fucking the army of garbage baby We're at it a second show with the film or in Philadelphia get those fucking tickets. Yeah, let's go We are at a third show in Toronto Chicago's third shows about to go we're gonna have a fourth there get those fucking tickets gang gang. We'll see you next week. Peace Let's go, Phil. We are at a third show in Toronto. Chicago's third show is about to go.

We're gonna have a fourth there. Get those fucking tickets gang. Gang, we'll see you next week. Peace.