Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bad Customer Service w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Morgan & Morgan https://forthepeople.com/garbage or Pound LAW - Pound 529 - from your cell. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are you garbage? Oh, yeah, a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it to be classy Yeah, just a big old piece of trash trash trash. I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here with tooties in a new edition. She's down the gym doing a little powerlifting

She's into it. She got the pre-work the protein, the protein bars, which aren't bad. I like the strawberry. She's really getting after it. She's doing roids? What's she doing? I don't know man. She's doing clean jerks and hangs and other stuff. I'll give you a clean jerk. Goblin squats. That's what I call my shower time. She's got the belt on and everything. I've got the straps on the hands. My co-host is coming at you from across the tables We call family episode here at ayg Just the boys the bozos and the homies just the way we like it circle in the way Some stocks of inventory making sure everybody's okay. We'll check in Kevin James Ryan everybody

What up gang as always make sure you rate you subscribe on view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RUgarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. A lot of videos, Ireland, Disney, not to mention, if you heard the words, Bloody Woods getting thrown around the last couple of weeks

You've been seeing it on the social media performance of a lifetime people find out over there on patreon How is Shawshank this time of year Kevin by the way? Yeah, thanks for asking Yeah, this is this is my new this my new autumn vibes. I got a lea. I'm a Levi's man. They're cut that Levi's Yeah, they're cut for the bigger boys You're like buddy Lee. This is a medium, you know, buddy Lee He was like the spokesman for a little while I don't know it was like a little cartoon like a little fat guy buddy Lee now No, no, no an album out there was pretty good. Yeah now

I'm a Levi's man in the in the in the in the autumn time in a fall season That's what I'm there's buddy Lee right now. Shitty looks like you. Maybe a little bit. Look, Kippy. Yeah. Hey, buddy. Kippy. Yeah, it does look like me. Somebody get that kid a heater. They use that little freak to sell jeans. Jesus Christ.

Did you see him in your shit? And you got to get a new pair. Put that thing in a glass case. What the heck's on you? I wouldn't want that thing. Look me. Oh get you um I have to say you have a You're slightly reinventing yourself a little okay. I don't I don't like where this is this is when you ain't got nothing in the tank I go for personal attacks Plenty in the tank. How do you see the gem I brought for us today?

I'm not and I got plenty in the tank. Where do you see the gym I brought for us today? Um, I've been wanting to do that as well. I just I don't know which direction to go. Steal my style? No, that's what you do. It's well documented. No, listen, it's well documented. You steal my style. Well, I'm going back down these days. Wear the Burger King? What are you talking about? I'm on my way back down. I'm Okay, I'm not saying nothing not a big deal and I'm getting it up on in a couple weeks. I'll be at my crossover Where I can wear things a little bit better Okay, I want to take this opportunity. I think I'm done with the with the with the Hawaiians I just don't know where to go from here. Plus,

my all my Hawaiians are all stained and the collar is all fucked up. Sure. That's I need a college stay. Things are road hard and put away. What are these? Yikes. They don't wash well either. That big boy fabric. I gotta figure it out

though. Gotta start to dig up real good. I was thinking about that. I should do more dry cleans. Well, you saw last time you brought anything to the dry. Who saw a picture of my? Oh, was it you? We were talking about my dad. Maybe the first and only time you ever met my dad. You said that starts.

He had a crease in his dungarees and he would he would take him to the cleaners and he came out. Those things were a crisp. This guy's on edge. That is Jean shorts. He get pressed. They'll go get him pressed. Even if your jeans are nervous, pull it back a little bit.

God damn rigid. Take his annex, I can have a beer, do something. But I want to ask you this, I've been doing a little work over there at the house, the kitchen, getting everything organized, you know, to really move forward. Wait. To be successful. At your kitchen? At my house over over at Hanks place What's the work you're doing you make it sound like you're putting in a new new range. I've been making it more

User-friendly I got a cutting board A lot of work shout out to the food freak. I hit him up and asked him what kind of cutting board I should get Mm-hmm. Oh high-end prices. I'll tell you that. Yeah Sometimes sometimes you hit some block. It's a wooden block Yeah, somebody something and they come back when you're like I can get this for eight bucks and Marshall's. What are we doing? This is nuts. Yeah, it's six hundred six hundred. Uh-huh Cutting up my whopper on this thing and do it on a plate Speaking of Marshall's I went to mark went to Marshall's or one of them stores wife loves them stores sure

I hate them because you can't do the organization. It's like digging through a FEMA tent. It's horrible But we went to get like an area rug, okay And they're hanging we can't find the price whatever so we ask a nice gentleman to come over and he's got on Asking for customer service at a bar face man What are you not? They're not happy about that. I as you were trying to ask a price. That's all we were asking I don't know you cuz it was it was rolled up The carpet was rolled up and we could see like a little corner of ago. That's nice, and I'm like foot sticking out How do I just unroll this in the fucking housewares section?

I'm big on that now what I've gotten to that age where I'll just open shit in the store I also yeah fuck them. We can assume me fuck them You got if you got if I got to see it. I gotta get the feel you know what I mean I'm going in I don't care what it is eggs. It doesn't matter they cracking them I want to see that orange yolk Make sure and catch a hangar and push it off pastor raised make sure there's no beak or nothing in there Uh, and the kid came over and he rolled the rug and I was like, hey man, can I just like undo this? He's like, yeah, I'll do it for you. Nice kid. Oh, I would have fucked

I would I would have been like are you gonna buy this? I know I thought not fuck it on roll a rug? I felt so bad. And there's also- You fat bastard. There's no, there's no area to do it so it's like leaning over a recliner. Oh, you suck. Who are you? I- Roll the dice, you're at Marshall's. I'm not just buying a rug sight unseen. Why not? It's crazy. So breaking my goddamn back, carrying it out of there, shoving it into the trunk of the car. Uh, so I was just like, no, we asked him to pray. We didn't ask him to unroll it.

We asked to see the pro, like, this doesn't have a tag. And then I just watched him. Marshall's dickhead. Nothing's got tags. I watched him make up a price. I went, he started looking, cause I, this is what I do, right? I see that there's no tag on it.

I look for a comp that's hanging in the you know They have them hanging. Oh really I go like I will comparable you don't know the thread count on that No, but I go like all right the brand I forget what it was It was a whatever maybe a Ralph Lauren if I ever if I remember correctly making rugs now I guess I mean it's probably just old Marshall old t-shirts that didn't move they fucking it's all defective shit or shit that didn't sell but um Some type of chemical on it this guy so I see the size It was like whatever eight by ten or whatever it was so I go I will like give me a ballpark

So I started looking at other eight by tens like all right It's gonna be 149 bucks or like whatever the fuck it was so I saw him just look he goes ah this one's 149 but you just made that shit up, dude. You don't fucking know. But as he's out, he unrolls, he's like, have you seen him yet? We're like, not really. So he nicely offers to unroll it.

This kid's selling you? Hire this man. No, because then he's bending over. And I'm like, oh, he unrolls a little bit and he keeps going more. And now I feel weird. I'm like, buddy, it's cool. We both co-signed like it is, well, we it you know and as you should bought it. He's leaning over

I didn't want to because he's leaning over and a huge Fucking snot thing falls out of his nose right onto the carpet, and I'm like and he just like rolled it up He's like this will be waiting for you to cash here That in a little coob it yeah Come on man. I did that the other looked up at me up at me He was like did you see that and I was like, I just looked away. I didn't have the heart I did that the other night. I was on stage somewhere And you know sometimes when you're talking when you're doing stand up you spit. Oh, yeah I mean this was like this was either with a food bowl. It's like the size of a rigatoni

And I saw this lady go Matrix there. Shoo! Talk show down to me broke my ankles Listen, this is what I wanted to ask you. So what I've been saying is I'm trying to get the house more On a cutting board stop trying I bought a cutting board and I'm clearing off the countertop so we can so I can have the blender For my protein shakes and all that kind of stuff so we can eat right and move forward. Okay, so I Hate this. I hate this. I hate this version of healthy foley. No, like all this work that goes into doing a thing

that you never do. I'm getting the kitchen ready. You gotta have a good space to operate. I also gotta make your milkshakes. My milkshake brings all the boys out of yard and they're like. I got a real shitty blender. Oh, you got a real shitty blender

Yeah, I'm great talking about a lumpy shake That's dr. Lumps over here Man, I remember Patty putting out a couple of lumpy shakes back in I love a lumpy shake sign me It's like it's the best both worlds You get a little bit ice cream a little bit of drink drinking mashed potatoes out of here, so I'm going through my My my lady doing the kitchen. I'm reading that because that's what you made it sound like I'm going through my ladle cup Okay, ladle cup like I have like a little bucket on my thing bucket Okay, a bunch of flies. What do you mean a ladle?

Like where I keep like my ladles, my tongs, my wisps, all that kind of stuff. Uh-huh. Next to my dull knives. Oh man, dude, I got the knives of a fucking bad serial killer. I got a... dude, it's bad. Man, don't even spread butter. If you come into my house and I got to go to work on you, man, good luck getting stitched up. These are going to be sloppy. It's bad. Yeah. Handles loose.

Anyway, I'm going through and it's something that like we just bought at some point, never really used them. We got the wooden spoons and all that kind of stuff. So I come across this thing and I got to go to war with the bird over what the fuck this is or why we need it. Can you tell me? I got one of them. fuck that is that's a Marshall's besides a dirty road Yeah, dude, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, we have a vacuum for a couple of weeks Yeah, but the vacuum the bonnet

Go pick this up Detroit yeah, no I those I got one of them. That's a Marshall special. You buy that for like that and four other things that stink for $7.99. The other things are great. You got the wooden spatula. That's just a spoon. But do you know why there's a hole in it? Aerodynamics. No, I did a little research. A lot of wild theories out there. Stick your weenie in there. One close. It's to put pasta in I didn't know that's crazy. I don't know where the fuck. I don't know where the fuck. That's a serving size of pot That's one rigatoni

Yeah, I did hear that also that should be one inch right I think I think I think of like pasta like spaghetti is One is a one inch circle. That's I should slap this shit out of you. That's crazy I'm why you that's cuz when you go to those places where they turn it with the with the fork with two prongs That's when you know you're getting screwed and they turn it off in it up. Yeah fuck. Hey give me Yeah, give me something give me I like a nice plate of pasta Carbo loading I gotta work out a couple. I got a milkshake. I gotta get Also, yeah, there's word on the street that that's the size of what a meatball should be timing not I mean, I hear Yeah, the I ties the Italians they go they go little meatballs on the other side Swedes do yeah, that's Swedes

Yeah, that's Swedish. I'm telling you or rock an old-school Italian from over there even I am They'll tell you to meet Paul's they're ripping you off those grease bags Those fucking dirty those Dirty guineas are trying to get one over on you dare you um yeah, that's uh that's I we got one I don't like that I don't like any of that shit I found out what it what it really is for what can you guess what that might be yeah better fuck less resistance when you're when you're cracking your kids with it I remember my buddy got walloped with one of them when your Nana's going to work his mom got this spoon and I was in the

living room awkward never got the spoon and I was in the living room awkward never got the spoon got the belt got the pot one time I got a pot launched at me connected to as a sticky situation whatever it was you deserved it for sure 100% I still held it overhead for a couple of weeks a couple of GI Jews out of her that gentleman is a risotto spoon That's what that is. But what's the why why is the hole there then? Italians are fucking crazy. What the risotto fall through the spoon so it doesn't mush up the risotto to ah That makes sense About nine hours of my weekend right? Jesus Christ

Busy death. I mean, how did you find time to redo the kitchen with all this with all this research? I was part of it You're also gonna get a bunch of splinters in your I know that that I threw that fuck No, what are you not that thing looks like it's been in the yard for a couple of I do this I do a spoon when I'm cooking I do I do a tablespoon. That's what the chef's do. Yeah, a spoon I know I agree. How my eggs right there with you. I love making eggs I I have a little bit of an update as you see it

I think we talked about on the patreon, but I'm trying to get my hands on a 19 and early a mid 90s Chevy Luminous pushing this yeah, it's over dog. No, it's not I got a bike I got a guy on the line and we lowball them and he was like, it's over dog. No, it's not I got a bike I got a guy on the line and we lowballed him and he was like that's disgraceful I would never this is a firm price. It's not be $20 less. It's non-negotiable Okay, so I go I'm walking. All right my associates handle this of what you offered him. Yeah, he was offended We offered him about half For what he was asking. Yeah, what's the we offered him about half For what he was asking. Yeah, what's the mileage on this hunk of junk? I don't know mid

under 50 or something like that. Really? Yeah sitting around huh some old ladies sitting around. Well, that's she didn't die in there nothing Did she I don't know. Well, then last thing you need so then this guy hits me up some old Bronson in the backseat She's in the trunk. You didn't check the trunk. This car stinks. I then get a text says, I got a DWI. So I got to sell this car quick. Are you still interested? I'm negotiable at this point.

There you go. And now I got to what an idiot as far as negotiation. What a let me know you got your back up against the wall. So I blowball them even more. I would have been like, I got six of these things. I don't even give a shit about selling them Yeah, so I think I'm gonna get it for what I think it's worth. Uh-huh couple grant to grant. What's the color white? Really? I was my original my original rye you run this up the flagpole and all that stuff to who my wife I don't know the HOA or whoever you got to answer to? The wife does not like the idea. Fucking weirdo. But she goes it's you it's yours. I go okay.

Look like you're coaching soccer on the weekends or something. I'm gonna be doing wheelies flipping switches on this thing. Turf your own lawn? Going to buy beer. Screw you lady. What if he got caught in this ride? What do you mean? What if he got the DWI in this ride? That's what the DWI? On the fence if he got a DWI in it, what's the big deal? I don't know what do you think he has other vehicles to me? This was a drinking and driving guys on his last leg pregnant blows brains out in the car Yeah, then he can get them for cheaper wait. Well, so wait. Why does that matter? It's not like it was in an accident I don't know. You don't know. I don't let's bad juju Outstanding war there should be you know they have like car facts you check the car facts I think they do have something like that for Dewey's

Dewey dot he also called it the new old car you're buying called it the trashier version is the DWI yeah But this guy's jammed up, and I'm gonna take it he's high shit Yeah But this guy's jammed up, and I'm gonna take it. He's high shit He's old school. Oh, it's just like perfect track like this guy's getting rid of this fucking piece of shit car He's all jammed up. I'm looking to buy 50 miles Something like that yeah, that's the guy that's got that was my mother's car written all well. That's it's an old person's car Yeah, if I had to guess if I did a little profile in here, I would say I didn't think it was his car. Things aren't going great for this guy. You don't think it's guys

party and what are you talking about? It's his car that he got from his mom after she passed away and it just sat in her garage for a long time. She maybe went to the grocery store or whatever. He got the car got a little tuned up got busted. Now, but when you get your license back eventually, you're going to get rid of the car. I think he probably needs the cash. That's what I assume. Lawyer fees. Yeah, his fee's negotiable.

Lawyer. They run you like 10 grand apparently. I know, yeah. Don't drink and drive out there, gang. Of course. It's bad news. Kevin, let's talk about Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile. Ooh, we're talking about Mint Mobile. I'll say it one more time. Mint Mobile, gang. Of course. It's bad news. Kevin, let's talk about Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile. Woo! We're talking about Mint Mobile. I'll say it one more time. Mint Mobile gang, do yourself a favor. Get over there, to said Mint Mobile. Why are you paying all that money a month for your phone service? Huh? Mint Mobile, you know how much it is, pinhead?

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Morgan and Morgan. All right, that being said, we got a guy starring family episode on our hands gang. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on here. And we got a couple of dingers. Hit me. This one's a home run.

This is from Nicholas Long. Have you ever untucked your shirt midway through the work day? Ooh. That guy is, that guy is that guy is a phone in it in. I got to a certain point where the tucked in shirt was the way of the dinosaurs. Sure, there's not even doing it.

I suit doesn't matter. It's untucked. Now, if I did that, I would the bottom of it would look like spaghetti. It's untucked. Now if I did that, the bottom of it would look like spaghetti. It'd be all crinkly. I know, yeah. My whole thing, a bigger guy reaches a certain point where it makes you look a little better. There's a certain weight I carry where tucked in, it's like, that guy looks like a football player or something. But it's got to be the right in. It's really that guy looks like a football player or something. It's but it's got to be the right shirt. It's got to be the right pants. It happens once in

a blue moon. But sometimes it happened. You look svelte. What's the last time you had you wore a tucked in shirt? Anytime I wear a suit. Yeah. Ah, I've gotten off the shirt and tie. But I mean, I had to go to a wedding for my wife I did but I now I just do like the Like the knit or whatever just like a black knit shirt under it Who am I trying to impress? Nick Castellanos. Yeah, I mean my tits are a thaloppin Those don't do great

But that was always the thing when I worked at Acme as a cashier at some point you said you had to have your shirt Tucked in blue Acme shirt tucked intoier, at some point you had to have your shirt tucked in. Blue Acme shirt tucked into, I wore a pair, they were my dad's olive green khaki, like khaki stockers. Dude, these things had the wallet mark in them from him. Like these things were old, I never had dress clothes. Were they pleated up top?

Probably, yeah. Remember when that was a thing? I didn't realize that wasn't a thing and one of my brother's boys I was like in college or something. He was like dude lose the pleats The pleats are back now though. Are the kids aware that and I was wearing I were I wore square toe dress shoes We've talked about that. I wore I wore those way too long. Yeah. Oh, yeah was making cookies in a tree those way too long yeah oh yeah I was making cookies in a tree you were Swedish or something Gleibiglorbin that's right I hated them when they came out and then like five years after they weren't cool I needed some shoes and probably

went to a Salvation Army and got and got them and they were people were like what I had a pair of Skechers sneaker shoes that were that word what's a sneaker shoe like how Skechers was doing oh the combos. Yeah, like they were like leather. Yeah, but they had like Sure turf shoes bottoms. They were all over the place. They still kind of are that the the No, not those those like worst than those rock. Okay that one right? I love a rock port Those right there in the middle, Luke. Up one. That would be the closest. Those look like you're cycling in the Tour de France. But it had sneaker. It had laces. Yeah, they have like

they're like those. Sketchers does like the waiter shoe. Yeah, and it had like a proper square like like that was the end of my foot. It was proper. It was proper square man those things There were somebody else's too. I can't remember who I got him from like one of my buddies I think I was the time I was a size 11 and he was like a 12 and a half and I was wearing them they Were molded into his foot. That was every one of my dress shoes. I got him from my brother He's probably wearing somebody else's condoms stolen from his friend. There's a lot of room in this I remember one time i walked to uh uh pay less shoes i was we was living in new york i walked to

a pay less shoes in harlem because i had a job interview ouch this is when like i didn't have a suit i had putting together gray slacks a white button up a tie and i was like i need new shoes these things that i was wearing like in this i don't get you the job I Walked I'm like I didn't I had never bought a pair a new pair of losers. I Air baldies I had never I had never bought a pair of dress shoes like myself Really, and I was probably I mean Jesus I was the way does probably thirty Two wait I moved up here at 2930. Yes, probably take your mom where to get dress shoes. I just use Danny's or my dad Oh, yeah, okay. I mean what kind of life was I leading in high school and college is I needed dress shoes? I don't know formal semi-formal. Yeah, that's one night. I just wear hey wear my brother's shoes or whatever

Striking out either way. I don't matter Striking out either way. I don't matter Give me where they're in air walks. Give me wearing those slippers and fucking the Wizard of Oz you still ain't getting home, baby They're clicking my heels in a in a pair of fucking penny loafers. I wish I had a rough handy I wish I had a rough handy So I thought I was so broke, dude, I was so broke and I needed a pair of dress shoes for this job interview. It was the next morning. It's about 7 p.m. retail shutting down in New York around 8. You know what I mean?

And running in like jingle all the way. I was so dead set on I thought a pair of black dress shoes was gonna cost me like 1499 and I walk a less more than that do they were like 39 99 and Give you like six pair with him. No, no, dude, whatever this was New York pay less. They ain't fucking around this thing, man I never have an eye went who the hell do you think you are, Payla? I had to turn around and walk out and get them. Didn't get their job either. Sometimes the box is sturdier than the shoe

and you don't realize it's how bad of a shoe that they push out sometimes until after like a week of wearing them and they just disintegrate. And you see inside the sole and you're like, that's just newspaper. Yeah, it's bad. They don't have good, they don't have good staying power. If you buy shoes there at like that's just newspaper. Yeah, it's bad. They don't they don't have good they look

They don't have a good staying power if you buy shoes there at like Fucking H&M or Marshall's they don't have the they're not built like shoes. They're built like Accessories like a DSW Gentlemen store that used to be a big we used to go that DSW on 79th and Broadway when they hit they also had sneakers, too Yeah, a national chain DSW. yeah. Yeah, Dress Shoe Warehouse. Dress Shoe Warehouse. Or Designer Shoe Warehouse. I think that makes sense.

Designer brands, DSW. Can you give me the official name for DSW? Oh, I remember getting, do you remember like there was those, they were like dress shoes, but also sneakers, and they were kind of cool at some point Norman used to roll roll around in them a lot. Do you remember them? They were like kind of colored No, they were like bowling shoes a little bit now

I always wanted to roll with bowling shoes to I thought I could bring those into style in high school Didn't work. I think I wore once his Amy move. Yeah, I'd be a certain type of guy to pull that off Yeah, I thought I was that guy. They looked a little bit like you're not that guy. You're just slipping everywhere They looked a little bit like that, but they were like they were like shoe II man. I bought a pair of DSW Fucking and I wore them to a bachelor party or something in Atlantic City And I had a letterman the strippers wouldn't go near dude. I had a letterman's jacket off What that's what I was right now a varsity jacket not a letter. We're like You remember that I remember no hold I remember that specific jacket when you were in your voice. It was blue

Yes, it was a blue H&M and had like Leathers That's just like right on right here Hey, you couldn't tell me dude when I started fitting in the H&M gear. You couldn't tell me shit I got a new job. So I had like at least I was broke a burger with no bun at one of them V-necks I was heavy on the paleo. Oh Man, and I would just I was rocking. I look like an H&M What fat manic assistant manager About to get fired for a drug. I remember some girl said oh those shows like talking to her. I was oh those are shoes Yeah, she goes. Oh you're a kid those shoes are unique or something. She wasn't a compliment

Well, you're rocking the bright laces too. No, they were blue. They were like, it was like they were like light bright. It was a bad look. Come with braces on them. It was a bad dude. The shirt untucked after half a day says I'm not going to be here. I'm phoning it. Well, actually, I don't tuck it. We'd always get yelled at. You got to tuck your shirt in. Tuck your shirt in. Yours, I assume not going to be here. I'm phoning it. Well, actually, I don't tuck it. We'd always get yelled at. You got to tuck your shirt in. Tuck your shirt in. Yours, I assume, would come out naturally in the back.

I have to, if it's tucked in, I have to do a lot of ongoing maintenance. Yeah, what would you get? Like, maybe two cases of bananas on the bend over that you'd have to tuck it back in, do this thing? Uh-huh. Do that. I remember I had a fat math teacher.

That's what people want to see. Dude, a fat math teacher always used to reach back in here and hook it up. Ha ha. I did. It was like a, wha! I do that all the time. Now I'm like, oh, I'm that fat old fat guy.

Kids, get out of here. Yeah, it's tough. All right, this one's from City Shuey. Haven't had one read. Is it garbage if you yell out, I pay my taxes while you're getting arrested. Yes Which I respect it though. That's the last act of a desperate man. You gotta pay your salary You gotta do what you got a do now when he cops of her. I pay my goddamn taxes. You work for me technically me technically uh-huh hey that's always a bit yeah whatever buddy yeah that's a good one there's ball move that in the same vein this is from Thomas have you

ever said you just lost yourself a customer talking about a Hail Mary trying to trying to win a win an argument. What are they gonna say? Oh, no, please come back I've I've done that Recently I forget where the fuck I was no no no, but it was more like I was shocked at the level of Not caring that they were showing I forget where the fire was yeah, and I was kind of I was kind of like yeah You're right fuck me. Yeah, I was kind of like all right. I was fucking Jesus Christ. Oh was that a hotel? We're trying to check into that hotel in Los Angeles At the end of the route 66 tour

I don't remember and I we had like fucking nine rooms for everybody and I'm like can we check in she's like no I'm like I have nine rooms here. None of them are ready. She's like now. I go do you have a in my head? I'm like you have check in she's like no I'm like I have nine rooms here none of them are ready She's like now. I go do you have a in my head? I'm like you have a lot of people coming in here Oh, yeah, this is after check-in. This is well after check-in. I'm like can I get a room? She's like they're not ready yet, and then like turned around and started like talking on her phone again I'm like nice shoes loser. Yeah, they're unique But I was kind of like I respect the level of not giving a fuck Yeah, I understand that. I wish more people. I also like that there is hotels are the one thing where there is that

flexibility. Like the late checkout, the early check in they play ball a little bit. Now this place sucked obviously. But yeah, this is the first time they've said the rooms are not ready. And I'm like, checking was an hour ago. I got a goddamn show I got to get to. I got to rub one out really. I'm trying to snap one off. Can you draw the curtains in the business center for a couple of minutes? Help me out here. Long trip. Yeah, that's a that and And there's there's a certain level of not caring that a New York City grocery store cashier gives you.

Oh, yeah. A teenage girl like just there doesn't look at you and know, hey, how you doing? No, thanks for coming. No, do you want to? That's just like you're fucking, which I respect that I like, because I don't want to talk to you they got the tip cup out to an NYC those they do well mine mine you don't break her off something you're getting a stink eye is that because always in the money mine doesn't have it anymore but they used to be for the baggers because they'd have the old

Dominican I grew up not grew up I lived in a Dominican neighborhood for a long time it'll be a retired Dominican guy would be down there bagging your groceries, probably not getting paid by them, but goes in. It's like that's a thing. You fucking you whack them out. He sure. But I don't know. The cashiers are asking for tips. They're bagging it up. Yeah, I feel like that's that's different than the suburbs. The suburbs, they actually bag the other in New York.

I feel they're like, well, I don't give a shit. Oh, they think I respect it I know the level is T as much as you can We'll pay shaking a thing. Excuse me, sir Everybody know how much how many milk that you bought? Well, it's also big on the bag like they like now you can buy the bag and I feel like if you buy the bag They'll bag it for you. Sure. Don't they they don't even want anything to do with you I've seen I used to as a a cashier I hated I loved bagging

groceries it checks my OCD for me but I used to hate fuck that when they come in and they hand you there this was like pre this is early 2000s maybe late 90s early 2002 three no one was bringing their own bags in 2000 22 years ago I Maybe late 90s, early 2000s, 2003? No one was bringing their own bags in 2000, 22 years ago. I remember only- And they would give them to you and I'd be like, these things smell so fucking musty, dude. I will give you a new bag.

You mean when somebody- Someone hand go, I go pay for- There's always some guy stinking a Petrulli or yeah, they cut they were real And you're like yeah, they come in and you're first go hey, how you doing today paper plastic? And you have your store card. Let me tell me fucking square you up I want paper and plastic which I respect and triple it up That's the best way to do it paper at the paper bag in the plastic that was all with that man You do get take over the world with one of those Uh-huh that dude in New York. They do they do paper and yeah, you're walking out like it's the 1920s

What a curled up bag with yeah, I feel I feel like Henry Hill selling silencers That's what it's like it's all crumbled up yeah, no shit like Sufficient air it shit hits the fan you need Now you're fucked. Yeah that bags No shit like it's an old piece of fish in there. If shit hits the fan, you need... Now. You're fucked. You know that bag's... You're jammed up. That's a liability. At least with the handles you can fucking... You can hit them with it, you can stick and move.

I got nothing to... and the streets are crazy now. There was only one or two sets of parents, and they were the... They were the most far out there hippie parents that would go to like fresh fields before it was Whole Foods and bring their own sack it wasn't even a bag it was a sack yeah it was a canvas toot oh and they'd hand it to me and I'd go buddy I'm a germify go I would rather carry all your groceries home for you than fuck, and it's like.

It was always like an old banana in there. Yeah, that was, or like the skin of an onion that got fucking stuck in there. Oh, I'm sorry, that's from last week. Oh, easy, you dirt bag. Oh, you're ruining the environment like the rest of us. That's good. Yeah.

Skin of the onion, dude. Fuck you. That thing stunk. You'll find those everywhere. That dude hated this. Yeah, that's from last week. Is it? Your wife does not love you. Working in a field or something, buddy?

Get out of here with that shit. Yeah, that was... Yeah, buying like cans of Amy's soup. Too many of my body. What are you doing? But now I love the I love the the culture. I still won't take my own bag. No, no, no. I buy one every time we go to the grocery store.

And then I forget to bring it back. And then we just end up throwing them out. But I like the store bags that you can buy for a dollar, whatever they are. The cloth ones? They're not cloth, they're like plastic. They're like plastic with a lining of cloth. Like the keepable, like the-

It's almost like a tote. Yeah. Yes. Those are all right. They're like waterproof. Those ones are like the $1.25 ones. Yeah, not the, New York has like the compostable. I don't know what that shit is. I don't mind it on T-shirt yeah, I buy them all the time we reuse them

It's like a penny you would put on and fucking in gym class play shirts for skins or whatever I Knew a kid had just wore that He was like a real rib. He was he was like the ripped up I know a kid that just wore that. It was like a real rip. He was he was like the ripped up shoe shred it. He was the bad kid. He was the kid that had no parents. Like somebody was burning them when he was a kid or something like that. He emancipated himself. Yeah.

I remember for a whole year. He shows up to school when he wants type thing. Yeah. 100% He would disappear for like three months at a time But there was one spring semester where he just rolled around in a in a red penny Nobody fucked with him. We had a kid like that. I remember him showing the librarian his new tattoo at like 17 That's bad. You got a tattoo in junior high. That's earned high school. That is a where you grew up That was probably front page news

Stay away from the Ramirez kid Sleeping with some guy's mom having a full-blown affair get definitely what's Good Lord Up and arms on Main Street This one's just funny this is from screaming cold Steve Austin is it garbage if your dad only took you to see the movies he wanted to see For example when I was five he took me to see SWAT with Samuel L. Jackson Shout out to SWAT that was a good flick. That was a Colin Farrell vehicle. Right, Colin Farrell was in that?

Yeah. That was... And LL Cool J. I didn't know that was... I didn't know that movies could be cheesy. You know what I mean? I buy into whatever they sell. I go, if it's a bad rom-com, I just, I get lost in it.

So I was like, this is gonna, I remember I walked out. Can you give me what year that came out? I think 2005. Yeah, so I was in high school. That's when he started to make his run of like big, Colin Farrell, he was doing like really big action movies. Miami Vice soon followed after that, I believe. 2003, release date August 2003 so I was about

17 mm-hmm that's now running about that about 200 Do so the quarter. What are you sitting at? So 2005 was heist was senior so this is sophomore year 250 I Don't know I never weighed myself until my mid-30s 2005 was high was senior so this is sophomore year 250 I don't know I never weighed myself until my mid 30s until I started losing weight I never weighed myself and your cardiovascular system must have not been great. Where do you could run? Down in a driveway is your mile time. Do you ever run the mileage? He's walking every time What at school school? Do you ever run the my allergies walk it every time? I walked it. I walked it. What, in school?

In school. I was smoking eaters at the time. I won't compare to you. You had to zip up on? Oh, I also had asthma, so I used that as like a... You had asthma? Yeah. Have we talked about this?

We still do. That's why Denise does not like me on the eaters. You don't use an inhaler or nothing. No, okay. It's now like allergy. It used to be be like I used to have that on me all day You have to go to the nurse's office every day and puff take a toke on it Oh, you told me that I had the spacer too See if you get an inhaler the bubbler with this what's that called?

Nurik on or something like that. Oh, that's a nebulizer nebulizer no inhaler with the With the spacer these things were sweet. Give me an image on that Yeah Give a baby. No go down go down go down Taking a hit off the flesh to 1990s. It was like a Noriko or something man. These things were sick. It was clear What no no it's like that one that we we could have right straight down over over one more yeah it was like that whoa gravity bong yeah and it was so so it would fill that chamber would fill up and you could roast on

some beasts that's like four or five pumps in there yeah so you would you would go and you let it fucking let the chamber ice milk up cool it down You need a couple ice cubes in there for a creamy pull keep it in the freezer Yeah, he's a milky chop. Yes, so that that was you'd have to hit that huh to rip that Six times a day or something like that lay off the gluten Lay off the gluten Yeah, I was a Albuterol myventolin inhaler then I'll be you're all for a long time sure I know I'll be you're all and then uh I

Yeah, just it then it became like only which over to pull ups after that I only needed it time to time and then now it's like really just I haven't had an asthma attack in a long time It's mostly like allergy. Hey, you're all RJ Reynolds in there Nice coat Tars in here Philip and Morris I know a little asphalt there. Yeah Lungs like a tuba flexing dude, it's I Gotta get off on baby. I get off the heaters I'm switching to zins. I think really I might go over the bad time and there's a zin Demick right now

Oh god, this fucking 25 year old loser can't buy him anywhere. You can't get frappleberry anywhere Can't let's talk about factor. Shut up the fact that let's talk about it's now the fall things are getting busy Got the holidays coming up. Do you want to be a big fat pig walking into Thanksgiving and Christmas? And they're like, oh my God, Jimmy got big. Because that's happened to me a lot, I'll tell you that. But it ain't going to happen this year.

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FanDuel makes betting on the NFL easier than ever before. So make the most of this football season and download FanDuel today. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem problem call 1-866-531-2600 Or visit connectsontario.ca All right, let's see staying in the customer service realm this one's from John John Mikel $10 homie have you ever called to cancel a services subscription hoping that they would give you a better deal before you get off the Yes, a hundred percent and several words sometimes they don't give a fuck. They go, okay. Everybody always says, no, you just call and say that you're going to switch services and they'll give it to you.

I saw my dad try to do that to Verizon. They play ball. Sometimes they do play ball. And he was stunned. He's like, I can't believe that. And I was like, I'm taking over to T-Mobile. And I'm like, they're a billion, you're gonna bring them down? Especially like, but even like 15 years ago, I feel like you got a lot more leeway on the phone with those guys.

Yeah, there was, there was a thing. There was a retention department where like they switch you over and they try to keep you, hey, we can offer you 10.99 off whatever. Dude, that's what they do to fucking old people My mom's Comcast bill My brother-in-law looked at it. It was like 900 bucks a month and she's like They just let you stay in and they add

2999 at 1499 at this gotta read and she don't fucking know she she goes all the internets in my house This is just cost a million dollars. Is there a thing where? This has never worked out for me? But you know, they say new customers get. Yeah. And then you call. I'm an existing customer. Why don't I get that? Also, if they play ball, yeah, they that'll. I've always feel like I just get treated like a second class citizen. They go get out of here.

Also, you've been late on your bill every month. We don't want your bad money. What's this thing now where they're saying they'll give you, if you bring your phone in, they'll give you a new one for free. What's going on there? Are they rooting through the phones? Yeah, so like that's what I'm on, I think.

And it's like- I'm not giving my phone. It's the iPhone forever type thing where they start, instead of you buying, this is the way I think, I could be completely wrong, but this is what it kind of makes sense to me. What do they want to chips? You rent the phone off of them.

So you used to buy the phone, and that was your phone for three or four years, five years, whatever it was. Now you rent it and then every like 18 months, you can go in and they give you a new one. So now you've paid $120 a month for the phone or 100 bucks a month for the phone, whatever it is. What are they doing with the phones though?

They then turn around and sell them probably to fucking another country. Sell them or break them down too. All those phones have all the parts they need for the next phone. But the thing is they went- They're not digging in looking at your information and stuff like that? They don't very have it.

Yeah, what the fuck did I? I wanna see your fucking grundle that you take pictures of and stuff. They're good. I had a spot on it They got all those pics already dog. Yeah. Yeah, you're screwed good luck with the nightmares Welcome to my world dog take a peek at the red dragon Like a mole in the bush Like a mold in the bush This one this is from Anita heater shout out to you is it garbage if the most famous person I met was a weatherman Famous for getting caught on a prostitution charges in the 80s his name was Marty Bass from WJZ in Baltimore Let's get eyes on Marty Bass shout out to Marty. I like it also due to disgraced weatherman is alright

Let me get an image on Marty Bass He's still working is he down in Baltimore Is he still working? Yeah, you can't on the fucking internet pair with our anchor Don Scott He was arrested for soliciting prosecution on December 4th, 1985, a long time ago. It was a different time. Bass solicit a female undercover police officer. Ouch.

In Baltimore's Patterson Park, the undercover cop testified Bass requested oral sex. Hey, I like to cut it. This guy I always saw on cops. I would be like, how do you not know she's like when they would do that? Well, that's entrapment by the way They'd be like somebody's got called before they'd be down there and the undercover ladies they oh they look like cops They were never sexy. That's always you want a handjob

I'll jerk you You're definitely I never understood that I'm just a paranoid man But to pull up to a lady on the street and be like hey One that's a cop too. I'd be more scared. She was just waiting for the bus or something Sorry, I'm asking for an HJ in my fucking Chevy Lumina Retired happily in 2014 Go I got a little bit of cash on him. Everybody makes mistakes.

That's a goddamn, that's a goddamn sting operation. That sucks. Bullshit. Beloved weatherman like that. All right, this one's from Alex. Is it garbage or smoke in the back seat of a car? Oh my God. If you're the only one smoking, that's crazy.

I mean, that was most of our teenage years. In a coupe, no window? You're leaning forward. I've done that. It's coming around his head. We did that in my buddy. Got something in your ear. My buddy Justin's car, he got his license

and he took his mom, had like one of those like Chevy, remember Chevy had like the trailblazer, they were like those smaller SUVs, like an Envoy, a trailblazer, something like that, in the early 2000s. His mom had one of those that had a third back row, real tight, like real crammed in there. Third back row?

Yeah. It was one, it's like it pops up and you're like. But you're pressed against like the back window, yeah. You're against was one, it's like, it pops up and you're like, I'm going- But you're pressed against like the back window, yeah. You're against the back, there's no then trunk or whatever. And we fucking all hopped in there and someone was catching a heater in the third row of the car.

I believe, and he was, I think we were just ashing in like a SIG kit, we were lawless with it. And the cherry dropped or something and it burned a hole in the first like ten Minutes of us being in the car. I remember his mom came back. It was like you're smoking in the third row Goddamn brand new car Foley have you ever smoked in the car with your parents? That's crazy What like now as an adult you catch a catch a heater with your mom in the car?

Me and Patty? Heaters all day. What are you nuts? Yeah. Within the last couple of weeks. Yeah, I used to do that with my dad. That was nice. Because there's no smoking over around my brother's house.

Because it's still the thing. The kids know she smokes. That's a big Irish Catholic thing. No one. Yeah. So yeah. So if you want to have a heater before you get over there And you got to hit it with the Febreze on your way out. Yeah, of course Yeah, literally two weeks ago when I was home. Yeah going down 73 ripping a heater AC on windows open Listening to fucking oldies 98. I see like your whole family going to church just like change.

Fucking hot box. And a heater on a Sunday morning driving to church. Oh, just add tiredness to you. Just as a little kid, the windows are up. Man, you're already nodding off. You're thinking about breakfast and getting home. You're starving. You're tired. Then your dad lights up a red.

Get that shit blowing in your face before you walk into church. It is a very dirtbag bonding moment, sharing a pack of heaters with your parent. Not like splitting it, but like, they're communal. I rip Patty's heaters all the time. There's moments, my dad would keep them on the dash. She buys like three packs at a time. That's that's old. That's such old woman. Wawa shit

Just I'll take three packs of Marlboro lights My stepmom you're gonna poker game Girls coming up my stepmom used to do that. She'd come out with a brick of fucking heaters I've ever even my dad was always one at a time like out like cuz he's going to Wawa because you're lying to yourself The last pat now, that's why I would never get a carton because you're lying to yourself, of course In between reality and make-believe Worth a little place called Foleyville You don't know but my dad used to keep him on the dash and there'd be a thing

I would leave I'd be in the front seat. This is I mean, I'm late teens early 20s at this point Lean over and grab one off the dash. That was a real commute That was a real bonding moment when I knew I was a man. That's when I knew that and I was slides over T on a turn Winston's with my he we used to Drive a snowplow in the winter My stepdad did so I would have to get out I was the shovel guy to get out and fight shovel like do the trimmings around the you know Find the light post find that where the curb starts fine where that whatever you don't hit a water heater

Yes You don't know that bolster a water pipe that and crank in Winston's out of a soft pack with the gloves taking the gloves off Outside no you get in the Warm the gloves are all wet pop that off. I remember dude at one point. It was my stepdad I was in the middle as a bench seat I was in the middle way too big to be in the middle and Danny was on the right and we're just the three of us Cranking winsties just I'm reaching over Danny to ash Just I'm reaching over Danny to Ash. Slime balls.

Breast smell like turkey and onions. Whatever. Wawa shorty. You wolf down. That's all right. Yeah. Um, all right. Let's see here.

This one's from Ian Topkins. $10 homie here. Ever ordered the filet mignon at a hibachi table? They cook it separate from everyone else and it makes me feel like royalty. That's I mean We got to do hibachi. It's a good time never done it. That's crazy eating around other people Yeah, let's see if we can get like a little shoot it like a benihana Yeah, I'm sure you can get like a bathroom do like go pros on our bodies. Yeah, it's a good time They fucking get y'all sauced up. It's a little sexual for me. I don't love it Dude, there's a picture of me that I I can find of me the last time I went to hibachi

It was like my tongue and a shrimp in there I was so fat and Dude, just such a slaw it was so bad and this picture of haunts me I got my arm around like the seat next to me and I'm like half drunk dude. Is anybody in the seat? I don't think so. Those are tight seats too. Those are tight seats. So someone might have got up to go to the bathroom and I was stretching it out. Oh do you remember giving me shit last week because I put my arm around the

Uber driver? That was insane. Were you in the car for that? No it was me him and Tommy I think or me him and Rubenoff. Dude we're in a tight. I was talking. We you in the car for that? No, it was me, him, and Tommy, I think, or me, him, and Rubenov. Dude, we're in a tight- I was talking. We're in a- he's in the front seat. And we were all talking. He was talking too. No, he wasn't.

He's in the front seat of an Uber, and the three of us in the back seat were talking. He reaches his arm out around, and now he's got his arm around the driver's seat. It was- What? We're all boys here? It happened to the point where we the three of us in the back were like this is like no one even said anything we all just went that's fucking that's nuts why it was like this space man

that's like he's your you're his uncle or something that's how you doing right I mean he's got to operate a motor vehicle your inches put it over his shoulder like sounds like you're pretty close they were too close to the three of us immediately went that's I've never seen that happen that's crazy you do that with a loved one hold in court kids knocking off back there yeah you want to be careful bring your girl to a bocce spot why there's a sexual yeah and the guys all fucking they get a flippping fucking shrimp down her tits and stuff like that. She's fishing it out. They shoot the sake they have like a shooter thing I'll shoot socks like they get a grill sexual with the broads which I don't know. Yeah, huh take Patty Ball washing two radishes

Then married woman She's ball washing two radishes. And them married women make me sick. Yeah, all right, let's. I got more than fried rice. I like a fried rice. And they do it great, they do it big on the table. I don't know, I just, I don't love eating in front of people like that. Just said that, yeah.

I don't love the communal table. If it's all us. And in my family, I will. I'm not eating with the Schwartz's or anything like that. The first time- Or the Smitherens. The first time I went, I was in my 20s. I think it was that picture of me.

I've only been a couple of times and I was like 20 probably or whatever, late teens. And to me, with how my family would go out to, we were like, we go to Three Monkey. Like, you know what I mean? We're like, we're a bar and grill family. Of course. We're not Asian cuisine,

demonstrative hibachi family, you know what I mean? Bar and grill family. Yeah, a place where you can get a pitcher of beer like a goddamn gentleman. Sure, sure. A bucket of beers. Sure. Maybe a cheesesteak egg roll. Uh-huh. So going there. You got rolling rock on drag.

I thought I was in Tokyo, dude. That's when you know the whole- It was crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not working Fuck me Yeah, that was I mean I was so far to me that and my boys family How where were you hit somebody with that that's called sex tourism? I didn't my boys family would go out To like not even like number one Chinese not the one in like district. They'd go out to like I Talk about this all the time Cuz

You're not hearing what I'm saying. This is what you do Yeah, not a nice Chinese joint and I like a sit-down Chinese restaurant, but not like your this was more Chinese than American like a spot in Chinatown kind of kind but not that it was it was More it wasn't number one Chinese like lychee martinis and stuff like that. It's just a little more like Sure ladies love those Like a dragon fruit or something to my girl will go through a fucking bag of those things like a spider monkey. She loves them They're delicious Take an Asian grape. I don't know what it is. I fucking love them. They're so good

You get one of those and they got the skin on them, too You got a de-skin on don't you skin them now? It's like oh she goes through that's like larva to me she goes through it like a safecracker. Yeah, things are great Like a safecracker. Yeah, things are great Um, hold on back to the Chinese spot You know what I'm just saying they would agree now they would go to that and that's so foreign to that was always no pun intended That was so foreign to me I mean we were even like my my parents were like that too, but for some reason in the 90s a nice Sit down, but I understand it. I'm just saying that was I have said this to it. It's just very

We were the pub, gyros, hula hands, Applebee. Like we weren't going to fucking. There used to be such a good one near me called Lele. Oh, it was so nice. Like a Spidey Christmas story, kind of. Yeah, but nicer. OK. They got like the in the 90s, they got real nice.

And they'd have the big table with the lazy Susan in the middle of it All right. This one's from nine cents ten dollar trash Collector union president here never had one red. How you doing, sir? Is it garbage to show your buddy's wife who was a radiologist? Show your buddy's wife anything Show your buddy's wife anything. Show your buddy's wife who was a radiologist, an x-ray of your foot at a birthday party for a second opinion. No, no, no. I'm big on that. No. I am big on that. That's why you have connections in the family, which I had a situation not that long ago,

where I was told by this lady, if you ever need anything, reach out. Okay, she's a nurse or something like, she might be a hairdresser, I don't know. She's something in the business, something medical. And I hit her up with a question and she iced me. Now I don't feel like I can go to her. I love showing my x-rays to everybody. What x-rays do you get?

I just have my endoscopy and colonoscopy. I've been showing those around like baby pictures. Just signing them. Hey, done. First time meeting a celebrity. That colon's clean as a whistle. I don't know how that happened. I mean, if she asked to see it, I, you know, like, hey,

let me take a look at it or something. I understand that. But I mean, I, you know, I think forcing it on is a time in a place It's also like what if you're at what if you're at like a birthday party and you don't have any doctors in your family, do you? No, do you yeah, I got some doctors in my family who a bunch hit me No married into the family that's not your family. They're at my Christmas party. That's not. They're eating up all my cocktail shrimp. You're flipping them out.

We got a couple of doctors in this in the medical doctors or like history teachers who have a PhD. I got a couple of them. Just a guy who's real good on the court. Hit you with a hook shot. Turn your lights out. Yeah, we got a couple of doctors floating around. So let's okay. See how he's being real vague about this. We've I think we've done this. What do you want me to start showing diplomas? I

gotta I gotta protect these. What are they doctors of? Medical MDs. Not MDs medical school. Yeah Give me painkillers So if you were at a birthday party and you did have a doctor in your family Some guy doesn't have stucco on his fingers Hey, my family built this great country. All right fucking Sandbag and slip and fall fucking settlement family you got going on over there I'll shut down every port in this fucking country

And you have a name Say you had something on your face or something like that. There's medical there's people there's medical people in my family What you think is check check check? That's a little different than breaking out an x-ray or some of my mom goes like my mom worked in the medical field My aunt was a nurse. Oh, yeah the piece I would have no trouble showing her something ever take Doc I get a second opinion Hey, is this too big? If it's your gut, yeah.

How many of our girls are gonna complain about it? This isn't too big. Oh, in your medical opinion. Your professional opinion, doc. I'm like, is this small? Did you consider this small? your professional opinion doc I small no I think they would have to ask if they go you know what I mean the hell is that that's they can't just fucking flip the switch and have the light thing with throwing up fucking x-rays you gotta ask man my mom loves that stuff she loves to take a look at that stuff

Also, this guy had to bring his x-ray to the birthday party on your phone. Oh, that's true. Okay Uncle Randy and that's not kid you seen your mom anywhere out here That's alright I'm Patty would do that to me all the time when I was a kid I've told you this before I just might have been a patreon thing when she showed the guy my jock itch We were moving and it was like one of my dad's Navy buddies I don't know if he was a doctor or not. I know he played softball and sucked put him out in right field But I remember him sitting on the toilet and him looking at my at my stinger. She was in there, too Bet she was

Got money It's a hundred to look 200 the guys I had jock itch on the rights on my left side really young I mean I got a young too. I Just had another little bout of it. I had to go in there with the ten actin I don't know what that does it a boy isn't doing ten actin. Yeah like the for athletes foot. Yeah, I think it's ten actin Loacherman no, that's for your toenails. That's also for your junk If you get a bad rash on there had that's no good for they start thought they stopped selling that no Loacherman AF I know that is it's good for you bad for you

I catch good jock itch to acting that acted tough acting you a fat piece of shit Who has bed sores on his weenie, but athletes foot and jock itch are the same thing right? I believe so yeah Cuz I it's it's fungus. It ain't pretty whatever it is. I actually used it was athletes foot spray Can't be showing that at a doctor. It'd be showing that at a fucking birthday party Hey Look at this cigar. Your your reception is at a dentist office. Is this jock itch? It's I'd be going to town on this thing Tongs hairbrushes and it And it won't quit, baby.

A little bit's alright, but man, I've had it bad. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, gang. What a fun one. Gang, we love ya! See you next week. Peace!