Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bag of Milk w/ Danny Polishchuk

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Kippy and Foley are joined by Danny Polishchuk! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! FINAL RUN! Buy the Are You Garbage Card Game: https://areyougarbage.bigcartel.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Raycon: https://www.buyraycon.com/garbage15 Promo Code: EarlyBF Established Titles: https://www.establishedtitles.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans

Stop the show gang. Let's talk about that middle-class famous store, baby. Oh, baby coming up to the fourth quarter on that Down to the finish on only a few times to see us Gang, it's a good time come on out and see the live show to mix the stand-up comedy Plus we played a little a yg with the crowd. It's a great way to introduce new people to the show So bring this squad with ya. Yeah gang this week. We're going to be we have one show left on sale in Atlanta on November 12th, and we're going over there to Charlotte, North Carolina Philadelphia sold out you snooze you lose we got some tickets left for the second show in Providence, Rhode Island in December And we got some a few tickets left for our second show in Boston in December get those tickets

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Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage That little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out they grew up to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash. I'm your host a trolly coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here at Aunt Tooties basement. She stole the easy pass out of my car. No, yeah She could have fucking used the keys. She smashed the goddamn window don't bro. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me Unamused this week You win some you lose some gang. What are you gonna do? He's the CEO of are you garbage? She is an international businessman, and I'll tell you what he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him

Give it up for KJ Hey, what's up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe over there on itunes full video available on YouTube As you know those numbers are Officially through the roof just broke a hundred thousand subscribers today That's gang to the fucking army of garbage. Love you fucking love you And I'd be remissed if I didn't mention the greatest goddamn website of all time www.patreon.com Slash are you garbage check it the fuck out? We got fucking bonus episodes a yg

We got episodes of hard feelings We got fucking a bunch of behind the behind the scenes content check it the fuck out gang. We're vlogging We're vlogging taking fucking new guy Luke out on the road We got we got stuff of us open up for Whitney also put up for bird on a tour bus the whole nine yards Check it out. It's a good time gang check it out We love you now but a nice quick shout out to our producer Extraordinary the magic man makes us all look good works the ones and twos crosses the teas That's the eyes, but she's got a big old saws each give it up

Toby McWall and everybody Man, we're gonna have a good time. We got a real silly goose. Yeah, we do a real goof if you will Can't say that what do you mean it's gonna cut you open? I need to god You don't say goofing can't I don't got enough wars going on here. That is Jesus Christ, Toby I got enough beef, you know learn that the easy way or the hard way now one of us is gonna get moose Gang we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time Which is crazy. Uh-huh. He is a very funny standard comedian and podcaster

He has not one but two live calling shows Tuesdays at nine You can check out low-value mail and Wednesdays at 10 the bathhouse plus He has an amazing special over there all on his YouTube page and of course He is the one half of the boys cast give it up for Danny Polis Chuck The best in the biz at the man you might actually really is thank you very much We have heavy hitters come in here and they're shocked. They're like what the fuck there You know, he really is great at them remember that a contract time be fucking putting the screws to you I got Vince McMahon on the phone

Contracts EOM KOM Danny thank you so much for coming in so I'm down with us as the long hair said you are a Canadian gentleman Yes, and he called me a goof which is bad. How you get stabbed in Sudbury right there? Yeah, what's that a bed and breakfast Hey, the eggs benedict is phenomenal It's not give us a scoop give us a scoop give us the backstory give us the or origin story origin story I was from outside of Toronto. Okay Toronto, Toronto, Canada We say that's weird because we say Toronto, but every heroine says Toronto. Yeah, there's no hearty in it, right?

It's for some reason we just stopped pronouncing it I respect that and then we guys want from like the very beginning. Yeah Little little day when you say outside, what are we talking about the burbs the burbs? Yeah, Burlington, Ontario Okay, which is about 45 minutes away and then I went to school. I went to Jewish school. Wow nine years Are you Jewish or was just My parents just wanted me to get hooked up You know You want to actually you say the basketball team is good, so it was like obviously not strong on athletics

Sure Jewish school, but this one time we played this we had a bet when I was like in the fifth grade We played this team from a Toronto. They were like a yeshiva They were like the super Jewish kids sure and they came in to play like an exhibition basketball game But they had to wear their keepers the whole time So they were all literally like dribbling with one hand and holding it with the other No, Bobby pins or anything. It's just when you're running too fast If you're on a fast break, you can't be worried about Bobby pins ain't gonna hold it in when you when you're fucking breaking That's literally like one arm or whatever and then they would it would fall off and they'd blow the whistle or whatever

Cuz in Jewish basketball, I guess that is like that's a stop. It's a commercial break I TV timeout right there. We smoked them. We had six players burning in hell All right, so you Jewish yeah Orthodox fake Jewish by the way, but yeah culturally Jewish culturally Jewish. Yeah, did you celebrate all the holidays growing up? Or just like the Hanukkah We'd not all all of them like not like the out there ones like the Sukkot and all those weird ones did the big ones did big ones. Yeah, pass over

Yeah, Russia Shanaka. Did you do us? Seder on Friday nights. No, no Shabbat. No, okay. Seder's for Passover, which I did do. Okay. Well, we're no Shabbat Where are your folks from? We're Russia. They're from Russia. Yeah, okay. Yeah, folks. That's all But they were kicked out kind of for being Jews. All right now. We're back on All over the place I'm making headlines Danny Tells what the submarines are Danny They're real easy on you and your family. Where's the football playing hardball with this son of a bitch

No, but they allowed them to look because they weren't allowed to leave and then the moment they're left We've been just like yeah got out and they went straight to Ontario. They went to Winnipeg Which you can definitely don't call people goofs in Winnipeg. Well, hold on. I like this story. So they were they were Russian Jews During during the iron curtain. Yeah, right. Yeah, did they get out before or after they got out in 75? Damn, so basically they because it was like you weren't allowed to leave sure That's the kind of the hallmark of these communist countries, right? And then yeah, I like to keep everything in house They're big old walls over there. We're having a good time over here But anyways, and then they were like I can't remember what they did but they opened up the

Borders for some I think it was I don't know if it was only Jews or like cuz they didn't like Jews there very much And then but they opened it up and my parents just like got the fuck out. What did your mom and dad do? What would your dad do in Russia? They were so I want to hold they were they were young they were young at that point They would have been in their 20s, but that's he's retired as an engineer. Okay for the Canadian government Did they leave their whole family over there? Oh, yeah, dude. It was like so my grandfather He was like a war hero. He was like in the I don't know if he like he was in like the Was it Siege of Stalingrad or whatever? Holy shit. Yeah, 100 days. He was in the Red Army

Yeah, yeah, 100 days where they were basically like they were trying to starve them out Yeah, me and like Ryan's have joking about it But like literally like they were boiling their belts like to eat them because like that's like, you know And that's like an animal product. So you know for sure Yeah, it was fucked up, but anyways, he was like a hardcore belt That's good Give me a part of your shoe will you save the buckle for me? That's not funny

Hell of a fight. I'll tell you that. No, I mean, it's a cool story But anyways, he was like he loved being a communist like he was very really well He was like, you know, he probably was born in like 1900 or something He was just like all he knew and he was into communism The shit out of the Germans they were fucking trying to starve them out over there Yeah, but so but he was like in the Communist Party or whatever And then my mom left and they kicked him out because your mom left because they go like oh, you weren't able to raise a good communist Yeah, you can't even keep your house in order. Exactly. No legit. So it's like my mom kind of fucked my grandfather over. Did you ever meet them?

Did you ever meet your grandparents? Yeah, they moved my grandmother still alive actually she's 97 years old She lives in Toronto, but they moved really can't they both moved to Canada in like 91 or something. Oh shit Yeah, he did not want to go. He was not happy about it Wow, cuz he's like does it never learned English didn't end up learning English. Oh, he why would he I mean he was on the fucking He wants Loading this guy up with belt Come over here. No one's eating belt First word he learns. How do you say belt? He's at he's at an Applebee's

Toronto Yeah, belt egg and cheese But did he start to like it when he got over here and saw what was cooking uh, not really hit a Mickey D's something No, he wasn't in any of that shit. No, uh He was it was fine. I mean you get to see your family. Sure to live in Russia So there's that but I think he liked Russia to be honest. It's all I ever knew man Sure, okay, your parents parents got out in 75. Yeah Literally look like a suitcase. No, so so my dad is like cuz we're just talking about the World Cup, right?

But that's like an insane soccer fan Like, you know, he wakes up like Sunday mornings to watch like Italian series be sure like he all that shit, right? So when the World Cup was in Russia, like what was it the last one? Yeah, so it's really hard to go to Russia Like if you want to go as a tourist like the visa application is like super lengthy like they're really like making sure who's coming in and out I'm good. Yeah. Yeah, so I want to go because I'm like it'd be a cool thing to see sure, right? And so they Lifted the visa restriction for the World Cup

Where they said if you have a ticket for a game, you don't need to get a visa that is your visa and you don't need to go through This crazy process. So I told them I'm like we should go because like we don't do this My dad's like no, he's just never going back. Really like out of principle. They hate it so much. They're like we're not sure Yeah, like when my when Russia lost Russia was in the finals, right? I forget I think they were I think they made it to the finals or semi-finals and then my grandmother was like Laying down and we were watching the game and then it ended and I walked over and I was she's like who won and I go Russia lost she was good Like that's old. That's old country. Yeah

She's spitting on the floor and stopped There's no love loss from now No, that makes sense Yikes, huh, uh, do you speak any russian? No, but I can understand it a little bit. That's pretty sweet Yeah, and how's uh, does your mom cook a traditional russian dishes? Not really the oh closest one is my dad makes Does she throw a nice borscht? Yeah, my dad There you go. My mom doesn't really make borscht. My dad makes a mean one, but for the most part

They just man, I don't make you see red that stuff is delicious Hey, I'm with you fellas, huh? I'm telling you right now Um, they mostly make like european cuisine. I sure not like super What would you say your mom's best dishes when you're going home? You're like my having seen you this is See, this is more the this is more the jew and me better to be matzabal soup I like that

You have a favorite one in new york Uh, you know what? I don't even know if I've had a matzabal soup in new york. I believe it's called jacob's pickle Jacob's pickles is our barney green grass is nothing. Oh, actually, no, I had uh, sables. I had one at sable's It was fantastic sables has one of the best smoke white fish i've ever had. Yeah, that's good stuff Sable's like russian daughters is really good Yeah, try to choke. I gotta know somebody. Yeah, it's good stuff. You ever have you ever have matzabal soup t-bone in here and charlotte not in charlotte A couple of meatballs in there we call it chunky

Yeah, in chicago though for sure. Yeah. Yeah, shout out to it. God damn. That's good little wet bread soup. Yeah This is just like a ball you ever do that with white with wonder bread, you know, you ball it up ball it up That's essentially what a matzabal is. Yeah, it's a dumpling. It's a dumpling. Yeah, delicious. Um, all right So your dad's an engineer you're over there in toronto Uh, what's your mom do for nine years, right? Jewish school for nine years What would it look just like there at the Jewish school? Uh, you brought your own lunch It was but I'm actually because the principal was rabbi and then I like I remember because it was like it was connected to a

synagogue That's why I went because my parents wanted me to go to Jewish school and it was like the only one around It wasn't even in the city. I lived in sure like I went to like a different city for it and then um But I remember one time this kid brought a sandwich to school and then he it was like meat But there was cheese on it and he got busted and it was a whole thing Really, there's like, you know, like nobody was eating not nobody, but it was like it was supposed to be kosher like you definitely can't eat like Can't be flaunting. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta like eat in the like the bathroom stall. You know, like yeah, yeah, yeah

Huh, but for the it was just by your honor. Okay, bring your own Yeah, we had like, you know a sandwich day once a month or something Now with your parents being Russian immigrants What was like the snack situation and stuff like that? And oh, it was uh, did you have brothers and sisters? I have one brother. Did you really take American culture for that where you're like, um, don't yeah Well, the thing is I had we had to like explain it To my parents, right? Like they were like, here's a bag of grapes And you're like, no, no, no make good with the cheese. Oh, where's the belt?

Um, no, it was it was one of those things where you just have to be like, hey, you know what our favorite thing was we would go So, oh, I'm sorry. When so when you were a little kid, it was it was it was everything was obviously Influenced by them. So it wasn't until you got old and was aware. Shit. There's no Cheez-Its. There's no Doritos. There's no walls. Oh, that's when you had to explain the saddest thing. There is no Cheez-Its in Canada I didn't really know what Cheez-Its were cancel the shows in Toronto boys. We ain't going go back They might have them now, but dude, I didn't even know what Cheez-Its were until like Three years ago, but I'm just saying it wasn't being russian. It wasn't They probably have cheez-Its there

But it wasn't until you were like a little bit Well, I was like when I was a kid because I'd go in my friend's house Yeah, and they would have like I had do you ever the one I had the one friend who's like His fucking house was like a Costco. Oh, dude. Yeah Like his two of them. Yeah, yeah, where you're like, they just had Everything they had like boxes of the boxes. Yeah, like how did you this should be on display to store? How'd you get this? Yeah, I was my boy railing. He they had a pantry They had a walk-in pantry, which I'd never seen in my life and it was stacked at a hills

Yeah, all just like crazy. Most processed foods you can find, ain't that wrong? Yeah, that's what I needed. All right. Oh my god, it was So you didn't have any of that? No, my hair is a little little kid No, and then it wasn't until you started going on other people's houses you had to break it into them Yeah, I go, hey, we gotta get this stuff. I mean, it was one of the we would go shopping I'm sure like it's not like they would shop at russian grocery stores. Sure Still whatever is available, but I remember Jewish community grocery stores. I would assume, right? No, no, no There was no Jews where I grew up. Really? Oh, not even a community. We were on your own not there was

The city I grew up in is 150,000 people 10 Jews yikes. Yeah, those are good numbers Is that on the brochure? Man, that's a double way to a Jewish woman. By the way, I want to go on the record for saying that's a double You don't even have the squad around you don't you don't got to you know, the Jewish community. No, nothing No, that's why the went to this school in the that was so far away Yeah, because it was the only one any pets growing up. No allergic Which is weird because I right now with my girlfriend. She has a dog

And it's like one of the first animals. I've like not been allergic to nice pretty good. Is it a golden doodle? It's a your kipu. Huh. Yeah, but it's just one of those hypo. I was even allergic to the hypoallergenic Jesus Christ. Yeah, like it was a real real Jewish child I wonder why you went to the school. It's got them kids allergic to Benadryl. We can't Can't do nothing for him. All right, so you go you go to you you go to the Jewish school until what grade until Uh, as we say in Canada grade eight, but you guys say eighth grade eighth grade. I did kind of the same thing I we went I went Catholic Jewish school Should have saw me on the court

Duncan Um, no, I went to Catholic school until about fourth grade. Yeah, I think that's good though You know what I mean? You hit the roots a little bit turned out great It was fine. I you know what I will say though Like it was it was fine, but like so much time I felt was in hindsight was wasted learning all this just dumb shit You were learning about the Jewish religion Torah and all that stuff. I'm just like I could have been learning anything else Computer programming. I don't know any podcast live streams. I'm catching the vibe. You've stepped away from the faithful

No, I was am I picking up on that right? I was never in there too deep I do I was the kid like me and my friends were always listening to stand-up comedy like we were in, you know, sixth grade So it's all Jews though. What are you talking? I don't took the bar mitzvah money. Don't eat Danny He took the case It's not so bad when the case is flowing Yeah, that's true, but um No, we would like so the teacher would be talking all this nonsense and we would just be like cracking jokes to the point That kick us out. Sure, of course

Like this is all made up. Yeah, like we were like 10 were like this is nonsense I do I remember being an eight in ccd and there was these two young. It was like a couple. They were ccd. It was like our after-school catholic, you know Learning program or whatever and it was this young couple They were in like their 20s and they got together just to teach ccd And I remember being like you two really believe I'm like you have All of you can go out boozing. You could be an applebee drinking a fucking margarita right now And this is what you truly think I'm like, I don't buy it. Yeah, I just can't buy and I'll be praying for all your souls

Tell you that heathens A bunch of animals. But yeah, so it was I was very early on being like this is nonsense Don't buy it. So eighth grade you split you go to public school went to public school Which was like honestly, I remember my first day being like I felt like Oz Was awesome going no not the wizard of Oz like the prison show Those kids smoking cigs he's he's trying to find a bobby pin for his hope You know wizard of Oz. I'm fucking Dorothy. I'm todo

No, you sweet little boy. I thought it was it. I thought it was awesome. I don't know No, I don't know. I was like shooting up. He's in Toronto Dude, it was like prison. No because like dude, there was in all of my entire childhood my whole elementary school Or something there was there was never one fight at my school Jews do not fight each other right like a bunch of the soft Handed take it to the law pink handed Jews and fucking like we're like 12 years old not fighting. Okay in 12 class actions Never in punch. I have been sued

Locked up in litigation right now, but no time for fighting Hey, Danny, you've been served Rips off a mustache walks away Can't be let's talk bespoke post you mean box of awesome. Yeah, I mean box awesome. Yeah, it's the fall It's crispy outside. It's cool. A lot of cool guy stuff to do in the fall Now i'm a fatty you are but you know what makes me a cool guy What bespoke poke box all box awesome. Okay strokey post.net everybody What the big man's trying to put the words trying to get around his toby get my pocket knife

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That's mint mobile dot com slash garbage seriously make your wallet very happy at mint mobile dot com slash garbage today Do it But yeah, and I remember the first day of high school it was like 10 fights. I go what is going on really? Yeah, it was good though. Did you ever get you ever get any scraps in high school because you're uh, you know Really? No, I'm not a fan. I know but typically most comedians will back themselves into trouble of making fun of somebody I was no I was never specifically I like I did love to go watch the fights though because you know that whole thing where they go like hey three p.m Like yeah, baseball diamond and I would be there with oh man take a bet take a bet

Love that you used to love that. Yeah, everybody's adrenaline will just be The hormones in the adrenaline Your the hair should be standing up on your arms. Yeah, I remember there's this one kid too He would always get in fights this kid. I remember his name was jeremy, but he would always lose Like he was always getting into fights, but like he was like you're never winning Like the attention I guess like he would just be walking around and I remember seeing walking on the hallway One's face just like bloody like it was just like nothing because he's like yeah It's another one of the lots go home. He probably had a rough home life

Well, I don't know how many kids were in your high school. Do you remember like I want to say like 1500 Okay, so that's not that's not yeah I went from this like tiny school to this like big-ass high school right so there's about three four hundred in your grade Something like that. Well, so and when I went to school high school in Ontario was five years Okay, now that's right. All right. Yeah, and then they got rid of it like I think a year I would have been devastated if I graduated and they're like no only four now after well There was a be that bubble boy. There was a year where the four years and the five years graduated at the same time Right and then so I would have gone sports sports wise though. That would have been good

What do you mean because I would have loved to have an extra year after my senior year Would you glory? Yeah, except for that sports high school sports in Canada is like not good No, even college sports is not good. Really? I mean if you're playing college sports in Canada, that means you couldn't even get into like a junior college in the U.S Huh, like for sports like it's Like even Canadian, uh college hockey is not good. What you think it would be sure But they're all going everywhere else and they snatch up all the all the real talent at like 19 kids are 14 they go to like the oh hl

But like even the college, you know, like minnesota and like all those like north of those college teams Like they're all all the good Canadian players that are either going to the oh hl or they're going to go to the u.s Gotcha. All right. Hmm fair enough. So yeah I remember the uh for sports. You know just in general. It was fine. Yeah. Yeah, I just smoked a lot of weed It was pretty cool. What were the lunches like there? Lunches. Oh the cafeteria was good. Actually. I it was like disgusting but good nice not a vegetable Like you could not purchase a vegetable which I remember like thinking later on being like that's crazy. You couldn't get a vegetable The best was the crappy poutine

You had poutine at school Man, that's the most Canadian shit. I've ever heard in my life. Man, everybody's sleeping in it, dude Just hand out Mike will they shot it at you with a hockey stick Oh, man, it was the best Yeah, okay, okay poutine. Have you guys been to canada? I've been to canada. Yes Uh, I don't know if I've had proper poutine in canada though. We had cheese curds recently. Okay. That's a third of it Indianapolis, I will say poutine is actually the most american food on paper. What is it? What is it exactly? It's gravy cheese curds and fries. That is on disco fries. Yeah, that's on paper should be like the like a most american thing

Yeah, I've had it. It's I mean, yeah, it's good. It's our version just has mozzarella cheese Yeah, so did my cafeteria, but that's because you're not getting cheese curds in a goddamn high school cafeteria. Gotcha You gotta draw the line somewhere. I mean, it's not a Michelin star restaurant What was the name of the grocery store that your mom went to growing up any price chopper? All right, that's pretty nice price chopper, which I don't even think exists anymore. That sounds like a motorcycle game What are you? price choppers Get the savings run and that sounds like a bad rapper from the early 2000s. There was also another one which was called

I think I think it was There was one where like I've mobs like a mob family on it. I can't remember if it was like spook and ellies It was something like that. It was like four there's there's a thing called fortinos But there was a different one and there was like some crazy mob family like on it. I like that Okay, I think there's a price. I don't know if the business is crossover because price chopper I remember hearing about that when I was a kid. There was a couple price choppers floating around in the u.s We in Canada steal ideas

Like that. Okay, like they'll just like Those straight up just oh that's ours now. No, well, they'll be like, oh, there's a thing that's happening in America But like they'll never come to Canada. Sure. So then they'll just kids. I think like trademark and everything It's only four countries, right? I think so. Yeah kids kids not much of a patriot. I'll tell you It's a real flip flop. I mean, I was the canadian. I live here in a sign. Will you? I got I got to say canadian mafia got to be the least threatening crime family. I don't think so. No Oh, sorry about breaking your knees there. Oh That's two bottles of maple syrup next week. Okay. I think they're tough customers

No, the ones in the Montreal, they're all hooked up with like the actual like Yeah, a lot of money up there. There's a lot of bootlegging back in the day. That's how they all got their start They would get uh, they would get all the booze from up here. Yeah, canadian whiskey canadian whiskey. You guys like the browns Not a whole bunch without dabbling anything what the booze. Yeah, the brown ones. Yeah, I'll go into it Make a little whiskey every once in a while. Yeah, um More of a spiced rum man, my What am I 13? What are we doing here? Peach snaps More of a mallet. You have any Stolio?

Um, so your your parents did good. Your dad was an engineer. Yeah, your parents were doing all right Yeah, they're doing was it a single family house or like a apartment condo. We lived in um, like a uh Town house like a connected one when we won first and then we moved like literally to a detached one up the street Like when I was like three there enough your parents love candidate, right? They were happy. They love oh my parents love Okay, yeah, they I mean like I'm telling you about rush if they were on like Really, you know price is right and they won an all-inclusive like trip to russia. They wouldn't take it. Yeah, nice Like I know for sure like they're like we would not look how that's the only way they can come across a all inclusive vacation Also, what's all inclusive looking like in russia a lot of boars swim up bars, man

I've heard it. I've heard like moscow and stuff's like i'm sure there's so much money I mean, you know, there's a lot of certain people have so much money from what I hear the bad ones What was the pizza situation growing up? pizza situation So ontario has the worst chain of uh, boston No, boston pizza sucks so bad too and only exist in canada. They're wacky. Oh dude Boston pizza boston is even known for pizza. No and when boston pizza opened up. We all assumed it was mr style pizza like the smart thing

Legitimately everybody was like, oh, we're this must be a chain Of american and then you find out you're like wait only we have this place. Yeah, I found that out I was real confused boston pizza sucks. No, there's thing called pizza pizza, which is like the biggest chain You guys are great on names up there christ chopper boston pizza pizza pizza pizza And it's the worst like dude if you go eat a slice of pizza there after coming from here You'll be like what is happening? I like bad pizza though. I want it on the record. I love bad pizza Love a slice of bad pizza 7 11 I had it. You'll eat 7 11 in new york city

Yeah, oh, yeah, I mean if I have to I had it in philly four nights ago Really? Yeah, when we were in florida, we would go. It's not good. I don't I'm there's no bad pizza to me No, I agree with you on that and actually at 3 a.m If you're kind of drunk and you will hop into a 7 11 and grab like a full pie for like $8 or something pretty good And it's done in a minute. Yeah, it's right there. It's ready to go. What are we doing? What about the chinese spots up there? And it was good there. What nah, I mean would you guys do that? Would you guys do the traditional jewish move on christmas chinese in a movie? No, we never my parents didn't love chinese food

We do it occasionally, but I had lots of friends who did that, but we never did that. We were just chilling really Yeah, never did the chinese food. Huh were you guys shoes off household? Yes real very strict Uh, yeah, yeah, that was so that's a funny canadian american thing is like We always used to watch american sitcoms and american sitcoms. Everybody's just like has their shoes on in their fucking bed Oh, yeah What are you doing? Yeah. Yeah, that was backwards down here. Yeah, I just noticed that the other day on something too Yeah, it was like fresh prince. He'd like have his shoes on in his bed. Yeah. He has like a winter coat on Like shoes shoes you like take your shoes off. Were you guys shoes people?

Shoes off in the house for the most part if company came over they would leave their shoes Yeah, like a bunch of people because you know like there's just yeah If I got if I if me and my friends came home after school, it's like shoes off Yeah, but if you were an adult, you know, my mom wasn't making you take your shoes off. Sure. Sure. We left them on On like dirt bags In the bed Boots aren't in the bed Um, what was the bar mitzvah situation the bar mitzvah situation? Uh, I had

Was it a throwdown? Was it nice? It was I so me and my best friend Adam we Because usually like a lot of kids would have their own party but our our friend our family was like pretty Close. We're good friends. So we shared it. We had like a share. I like that Shared by best parties. What was the take? What was that? Oh, I don't know dude. I didn't touch a dime of that money. Really? It just went to my for my school Holy shit. Yeah, I would dude. I had one friend

But that's also like rushing immigrant parents or like Giving this guy 10 grand. What are you not the whole point? What are we doing here? Yeah? Well, that's depends where you're all my boys are all caked up Dude, my I had one friend who's was like probably the richest friend I had period and his grandfather gave him 10 $1,000 bills Just his grandfather like that's 40 million dollars 10 wait, what is that?

10 $1,000 bills. Thanks a hundred 10 grand, but this is a 90 $1,000,000. Yeah, this is like a 96 even though they made thousand dollar bills. So in yeah They're not in circulation, but they exist. You gotta give them a price japper Kind of cashless. Yeah, they're like they all get taken out of circulation or whatever and like if you ever drop one off at the bank It's they take it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a two dollar bill. Yeah. All right. So nothing big nothing crazy on the bar mitzvah Didn't touch it. I didn't touch it. I Wasn't yeah, I didn't get it. I have a familiar story about my holy communion. Yeah parody Yeah, my mom kept all my money. What was the vacation like vacation? Um, we went on a few decent ones. We went

What was the the biggest one I'd say is so my my dad used to fly a lot for work Okay, so he used to like rack up the air miles I was always jealous of those kids. They'd be like going to hawaii on miles. I mean, what? Yeah, yeah, so he used to because like I guess he just got the air miles but so when my His whole like when the whole family like left russia lots of people they just went all over Like they didn't all go to canada So we had all these cousins which I had never met and my dad hadn't seen in 35 years or something in australia

What yeah, who like literally like I had never met any of them and like they had it's weird because they had the Same last name but spelled totally differently because when you show up they go like how do you spell it? And you're like, I don't know medically. Yeah. Well, there you go Like what's your name and you tell it to them and then some guy just goes like it sounds like yeah It sounds like this takes a stab at it. And so there was like there's all different spellings That's real sleeper cell shit. Yes, dude. What the fuck activate yikes, but uh, so that was a cool one australian That's a big trip for a fucking kid, man. Oh, yeah for sure. That's big for anybody How were the cousins? How was that vacation? It was uh, it was funny the funniest thing. It was cool

But it was um, I'd say the funniest part of it was you guys watch to grassy No, that's the most canadian question anyone's ever asked me dude. I went to australia This was 99 or something. I go the first thing I never met any of these cousins They go first question they go you watch to grassy really as a nick loading show, right? Uh, it's it was here, but it was a canadian tv show. It's the legendary canadian tv show It was before this is before drake. It was there like saved by the bellish. It was like a high school But it dealt with all this like really like there was like a kid got shot and killed in school One kid had aides

Like way there was like a gay kid This is like way before any of that stuff was going on gotcha. And it's like it's like an institution in Yeah, okay, and drake was on it. All right. Shout out to drake. Where's he drake? Huh any injuries? Do you know drake? No. Oh any oh god, so many Broke my arm I was hop because I was just a jew Uncoordinated you I was hopscotching through a ladder one day that happened to be laid down And then just tripped and just looked at my arm and it was like real bad

Broke my broke my leg my ankle playing in four square one time playing touch football In the rain wearing like basketball shoes, which had zero grip Don't know what I was thinking broke my leg and then actually right before I moved to america. We had this pickup game Um, this is like three years ago three and a half years ago We had a pickup game in this there's all these like comedians and film people and then I uh, I tore my calf muscle Pieces yeah, which I had to hurt it honestly it hurt a bit, but it's the weirdest thing because like Yeah

You lose like you just can't it's like almost like a hydraulic Use like so i'm like looking at my foot and you can't move it. I can't move it I would have thought I was parallel. I would have freaked out dude Yeah, and I had to be like taken out of the gym the gym was underground slightly It was like a half level it was in this like Rec center or whatever So then I had to like call the ambulance and I had to like get taken out and an ambulance Good healthcare up there. I got the belt. I got the bill for it eight cents 45 bucks. There you go

There you go. It's less than my copay for a bucket for my row for my row game Your most athletic achievement was playing against more jewish kids. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely Yeah, that's where the no question. Um, have you ever saved a crown royal bag? Oh No, I have not but my father sure definitely a big crown guy really big crown guy. He likes a canadian brand Yeah, of course. Yeah. Your dad likes a pop. Oh, he's russian Yeah, there you go. I've told a lot of russian kids and like russian It's like same as you like first generation and their parents it was like

We'd be like 13 and they would just bottles of vodka. Yeah, it was russian jewel vodka And it would just come by they had cases in case and they just ah, you can have one Well, I remember one time I snuck beer and they were like, whoa, like you can't have beer I gotta lay off the fucking vodka for a little bit. Oh man, my you're drinking 90 proof We would drive later pal Ray con baby, uh-huh Have you started shopping for the holidays yet? No, I haven't get on it right now You can shop early skip distress and snag some of the best deals of the season on something everyone will love

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A sabre titles is running a black friday sale plus you use the code garbage You get an additional 10% off go to sabre titles.com slash garbage get your gifts now and help support the channel do it Back to the show back to the show So sometimes for like so, you know some sort of like family gathering or some sort of something like you'd go to like Which is my most hated thing was these russian restaurants Shout out to the golden gates and northeast philadelphia. Oh, yeah Did a show there one time it's what dude those russian those russian restaurants are wild dude. What a nice spread though You didn't like it. I never they has just some weird foods

I didn't like I don't like, you know, you eat chicken or whatever potatoes But like have you ever seen the there's I can't remember what it's called. It's called like It's it's like a soup. It looks like soup, but it's uh, it's like chicken jello Oh, I know what you're talking about. I don't I don't want to it looks like a bowl of chicken soup But you can like do the dairy queen thing where you can No, it's a lot thick It's a gelatin mold. It's a gelatin mold. Yeah with like they're called something Oh, I do know what the oh, yeah people tag us in that. I've seen that. Yeah

I want to say it starts with a p was that they were actually gonna go they got popular in america in the 50s Oh for some reason But uh, the russian restaurants are wild you walk into one on like 2 p.m. On a sunday afternoon, which is when we go and it's like a nightclub. Yeah, they really do they have like ballet and stuff No, but like everybody's like all in leather. Uh-huh disco ball. You're like, it's yeah It looks like something would be a diner and you walk in and you're in moscow But those things would be like all my you know family and stuff and like They would polish off so much vodka party like just every table you see down in this bottle craft. Yeah vodka

I like it All right, um, how do you feel about quiche? quiche I am ambivalent. I don't hate a quiche. I don't like a quiche. The only time ambivalent has ever been said on this That's the classiest answer thus far. It really is. I'll never order a quiche But I'll never turn down a quiche. I completely agree. It just doesn't do anything. Um, have you ever good? Have you ever worn shoes on the beach? Yes

That's not a good look. That is not a good look. Are you a beach guy? Uh, yes, I have I used to not be a beach guy and then I became more of a beach. Are you a towel guy on the beach or a chair guy on the beach? You bring the chair up depends if like I'm fine with a towel But if I happen to be having a chair, I'll I'll bring a chair. I feel certain body types You gotta be an in shape guy to be a towel guy. Yeah, I feel really otherwise. It looks like you have looks like you got shot

If you're laying there. It's not like a it's not like you're catching rays. It's like you're trying to survive type thing I go barber's chair Do you have to have a swimsuit on or will you swim in something else pair of shorts? Do you own a swimsuit? I own One swim swim swim swim and it's actually like basketball shorts. It's pretty shabby to be honest. There's a lot of holes in it. Okay Piranhas look at you It's all waters just eating it away Uh, no, I would go in the ocean and like uh shorts shorts. Okay. You pee in the ocean. Oh, yeah Poop in the ocean. I've never shit in water. You pee in the shower. Honestly. Yes

Yes, you in the shower for sure. Pretty good. I've never uh Shit done an aqua dump aqua dump. That's pretty good. That's pretty good Aqua dumps. All right Uh, if you go to a restaurant, will you when you when you're done eating will you stack the plates a little bit? Yeah, you do. I do stack the plates. Okay. My girlfriend hates it. Yes. Yes. Well, that's The nicest thing I honestly it is. I just like I go like, yeah, let's just get this easy Oh, no, I like it. I like it What's your personal objection to that?

Yeah, what's your fucking problem? I mean we've gone We've gone over this a lot I think if it's like baskets or something if you're like at a bar and it's baskets of wings Yeah, but otherwise, uh, you know It just it's like it seems like it's wildly impatient like they're gonna be around in two seconds A minute. Oh, I'm impatient for sure. Yeah, so it's like just let them do the job Sometimes I just won't want it in front of me. Like I won't want like if I ate something I just like I don't want this in front of me anymore. Sure plate

So I'll just like move it and then stack and it's like it never happened. Oh, yeah. No, that's weird to me Yeah, did you ever work in the service industry? Uh, no, well, I worked. I sold I worked at uh, this place called future shop Which was basically best buy if that counts, but You know, it's a down-air and future shop. Oh man, that's the most Canadian electronic store in the world I was out there on Pluto selling, uh, handheld wireless devices There's an even better one actually. So there were three there were two main electronic stores There was future shop and this place called 2001 audio video

And it was 2008 god damn it dude that one is still if I'm if I'm I believe that one still exists 2001 audio video it outlasted future shop man There's a place, but there's just is it still to be checking Is it is around still? Oh, yeah 2000 and it's like the shittiest Like it was they kind of like took over for radio shack when all the radio shacks left So I think about all those like dumb little like, you know, hey, I need like a coax splitter

Sure. Yeah, just nonsense. Whatever but a cheaply made rc car every every junk factor. Yeah, all that stuff. Yeah Oh 2001 audio video got one down there in kitchener. Yeah one over there in st. Thomas There you go St. Thomas sounds nice. Tell them Danny. Jumbo. Jumbo. Joe Thornton. That's where he's from. Hmm Pride of st. Thomas. There you go. Jumbo Joe Thornton Only the hockey fans will know Are there any milk crates at your parents house at the moment? Oh, I uh, no, but you don't know about the bags Bag milk

Bag of milk, which is delicious. It's milk. Yeah, I'm not we used to be a big milk family Put the bag in the refrigerate. They give you like that. I don't know how to do it up there and how do you put a bag of How do you know about bag milk? Look at him. What do you mean? He has a bag of milk I resent that I'm ambiguous to that comment I'm amphibious to your insults Uh

There is a local farm near me called Miriamade farm shout out to them My buddy's parents used to get milk delivered from there and it came in a bag and you would get They had they always had this at the house. It was like a pitcher Yeah, that you would just slide it in and put the lid on yeah, so you have a plastic So this way we made fun of them. We didn't have six years So our family didn't have the liver on great milk. It was you put it's a bag. It's like so I think it was a gallon Right because we don't even have gallons. So they're like one point a half one point three liters No, no, no, so each bag four three bags is a gallon. Okay, that makes sense

So they're 1.3 liters each and they're like, yeah, they're like a long bag But we didn't have the one with the lid so you put it in and then some families milk in there some families Fucking dust buckets Well, no, no, no, because you don't cut the top like this you cut the corner Yeah, but then sometimes the weight the weight would be kind of off and you would cut it and just go like I'll dump out and then some families the most Impractical thing in the world. No, it sucks. The cartons are so much better And then some families would have this like magnet on their fridge that had it was a milk bag cutter

Magnet like Canadians know exactly what I'm talking about and you would like and they would never be sharp enough And you'd have to like try and cut the corner and just be better for scissors But some people had the magnet that's the milk was pretty good though. It was just I don't know It's got to be the same I mean if anything it's worse in plastic. No, well, is that in the stores too? It's a plastic bag. Yeah, that's in the stores too. That's only in the stores. I don't know how much I think they still have it Yeah, but I was it cartons. I like my milk case. How was That's just me personally in a roller bag. We got a duffel of skim. Um, how are they laid out in the grocery store? They're in

Flat in the section on the bottom of the cooler All of these are so impractical three bags in one they probably ship better you probably take up less space shipping wise I would guess Because it's liquid. It's liquid. So it takes up the minimal amount of space. Yeah, but I mean it's you put like Square whatever wise You're only losing the container of the box. So the reason Canada's milk and bags are backwards Nobody says you're good

It's the mafia They stole all the containers They also got boston pizza and pizza pizza pizza It's crazy that the biggest pizza chain is just the slogan for an american pizza chain All right, when pierre trudeau led canada's conversion to the metric system in the 1970s they had to switch all the containers Unpackaging from gallons to pounds or liters to kilograms So milk producers opted to switch to plastic bags to avoid the expensive task of molding new cartons or jugs Okay

Yeah, so I didn't even know that Yeah, there's a cost there's a cost saving measure at that time in the 70s I'm pretty sure they sell it better. Well, you so like you genuinely can't buy a carton of milk You can now But like when I was a kid there was definitely you like the creamer like the little Yeah, but like bag milk was just that's what it was. Can you imagine dealing with a little creamer like that? Dude, when I was in actually in jewer school We had uh like a chocolate milk day and it came in these little looked like a fucking breast implant

Like it was like you got a bag of chocolate. You guys are fucking backwards You're so close and yet so far away. It's wild. Yeah Jesus and it was like you have to I remember you have to like push They had instructions on how to drink the milk So you have to like push the one side to make it like tight and then you stabbed it with a It's like it upside down cabri sun Yeah, like some from the space station somebody I don't I don't know what comic said it was like it was like aliens came down to america

And then went back to their home planet and tried to convey what america looked like and that's kind Like there's milk, but it's in a bag and our soda comes in our shoes Everything's just a little off. We call soda pop. Sure. I'll give you that. I mean, we got some we got some areas I You guys don't even understand like since I moved here like I have to change my vocabulary and how I spell What do you mean? Oh, what do you what do you throw the you in there? Yeah? I gotta stop and my autocorrect still thinks i'm canadian So then it's telling me all the stuff i'm spelling right. What do you mean?

Like favorite throws the you in there and there's a you color You Do it all the metric like I remember at a joke or something Washroom so it's like we say washroom in canada For bathroom bathroom. Yeah, I don't I don't say it ever anymore Like you they say we say bathroom as well, but like I remember I asked Washroom you somebody would know what you're talking. I asked someone I would be like if somebody asked me if you're doing a bit and you're like and then I went to the washroom

Oh, sure. Yeah, but I remember I had a joke or something and I said, you know when you're in a washroom, right? I said leader in your bag of milk I gotta change it to like gallon and this guy's over he drank three liters of beer. You're like what the fuck This guy sounds crazy, huh? That's only two bags Is a drugstore pharmacy I think either We thought pharmacy pharmacy probably more than I think I grew up with drugstore

But there's a drugstore too though supermarket or grocery store Both both up there Book bag or school bag school bag school bag book bag. No cool bag. It's pretty classy Yeah, have you ever used the business center? Actually, we're actually backpack backpack. Yeah, it was backpack. Somebody just made fun of me for saying school I think it was you guys. Yeah, it wasn't even it wasn't school back or book backers backpack I love school back. Have you ever used the business center at a hotel? Yes for what? But it was a nightmare

They never work right dude. No, I had to print something. Yeah, because I had to print something and then They're like, you know, you're on like a I don't know a computer from 25 years ago or something trying to figure this out The tip there is to send to the front desk and have them print. Yeah, I think that's a bunch just fucking I think that's eventually what happened before I get your shit together. I need to print Oh, I just need to print it in the moment and I go like, you know, it's everyone has that issue I guess I don't know nobody has a printer ever. Huh, you know, you know anybody with adult braces Do I know anybody? Uh I must

Anyone in your family ever have them my brother had them Really an adult? No, no, no, it's adult. Oh, yeah, no I mean, but now adult braces is like they're all the Invisalign. You don't even know I know True is the right way to do it Like you probably do know people with adult braces and you don't even know they have them right now true I'm talking the That's doesn't exist anymore. My buddy's dad had them in the 90s in the 90s and freaked us out

Yeah, it was weird with the the rubber bands a whole nine. Yeah, he had it all a lot He'd wear his headgear. He worked from home and he'd wear his headgear and walk around like how am I supposed to Go get me a sandwich Stuff you in a locker Um, sorry, do you shake your drinks? No, no, no, I don't No, even I guess only one specifically that must be They say like if a drink says required like an orange, yeah

If it says like because you have all the sediment and stuff, but okay I don't even do the do you do the flick on the can No for the pro I'll tap. I think Really? Oh something was a trashy thing to do When you see you'd see some real goof move Easy does it any time you saw like some girl grab a soda like a cigarette hanging out of her mouth She'd be like kink kink kink kink and then open it. I'll just let it explode in my face if it. Yeah, that's what's gonna happen

Um, will you get a straw to drink out of a can or we know? Like such a pussy it's crazy. They hand me a straw. I take actual Fuck yeah, I don't yeah that I don't It's such a new york thing that doesn't happen in philly You can order a can of soda and they hand you the can of soda. I moved to york. These motherfuckers kept giving me straw Yeah, that is a new york thing. Actually. Yeah, I hate that because they think the top of the can is so dirty You wait put off with your shirt I haven't done either

I really love all over here Um, do you have one of those hooks that you hang bananas on at your apartment right now? No Did you grow up with one? No, just uh, just throwing them wherever the bowl. Okay. Do you have hand towels in your apartment? Yes, you have a full set of towels same same. No, no, they're all over the place. They're all mismatched They're mismatched. They're like just hand towels as Boston pizza The hand towels have accumulated Property of when you're here your family. Do you have roommates now? Do you live below? I live with my girlfriend Live with your lady, right? With the lady in the door. I know you're like, yeah, we've met. Yeah

Cook bacon in the microwave Uh, I have before but I you know what bacon kind of just like fell out of the mix for me I don't really make you like it's such a mess And I don't my girlfriend's vegetarian. So I'm like, I'm just making it for myself at this point. I only eat bacon out Uh, what was the last one? Do you like Canadian bacon? Uh, only on eggs benedict. Nice I am a benny man. Good man. Good man. Shout out to the benny. We call it p-meal bacon. All right. I'm out. You guys call it p-meal bacon You guys call it canadian bacon. We call it p-meal bacon. P-meal p-meal Because it's like so the out just your canadian just call it canadian bacon or bacon comes ramped in newspaper

You guys you guys clump everything up Everything gets clunky. Well, it's because I guess the outer ring of it is like it has some sort of cornmeal or something Maybe p-meal. I guess I want to say it sounds idiotic of me saying it's like but maybe it is p-meal. That's what it is Okay, I mean that's almost crazier than the yellow stuff the yellow stuff on the outside the ring. Yeah, I got you yellow It's red the casing or whatever casing. Yeah. Yeah, it's like some sort of They soak it in a brine for a few days and roll it in cornmeal cornmeal. Yeah, which would you think it would be sea meal bacon? Right I'll give you that that makes more sense

Maybe we're not getting real canadian bacon. I know you are I've never noticed cornmeal on the outside And I would know Well, there you go. You might not be my cornmeal guy. Um, I'll bring some back next time I go Do you get cash back when you make a purchase? Uh on yes, I have a credit card my american credit card. No, no not like the cash back Like if you go to the store and you purchase with a debit card, we like give me 40 dollars. Oh, uh Sometimes yeah, but I Honestly, I can't even think of the last time that's been asked of me. I don't think they do that much anymore

The drugs like the pharmacies the pharmacy's right aides and like the you know that kind of stuff do yeah You drive here, right? No, you don't drive. Thank god. I don't drive here. You don't you have a license Oh, yeah, I when I moved here. I drew when I moved from Toronto. I drove down. I had a car Okay, uh, and then like I was I had it for two weeks. I was like this is a nice socks I mean, what I'm like, what do I even need this for? Like I don't go out of town enough like I'm not doing tons of road gigs where I like need a car and wanted to do Like, you know, whatever you rent a car in canada is a tradition to Flash the lights when there's a cop ahead to the other my dad was my dad's move for ever really my dad

Love that. Yeah. Oh, yeah My dad always on the establishment. Yeah. Yeah. My dad was my dad was like the original ways, you know There's a malty two clicks back Okay, I like that. Um, have you ever asked to change tables at a restaurant? I have not but I have a lot of jewish family And I've been around it a lot and I don't like it really. Yeah, your family sent a lot of things back at a restaurant Send a lot of stuff back. No No, like it has to be like egregious. Good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, like it has to be like it's not like, oh

Like my biggest pet peeve was someone ordered something and they go like I don't like this Yeah, you're like you ordered it. Well, you're off. Yo, you chose. Yeah, you chose this a thing that you don't like It wasn't made bad. Sure. You just don't like it. I like that. That's not a bad version of a chicken parm You dude, I won't even send food back if there's a hair in it Yeah, it depends on where the meal where it is in the eating But I might just uh, I won't I like that's when I'm not saying I'll just go around it. I'm yeah Oh, I'll just I go pull. Yeah. Yeah memory hold that bad boy and Finish my meal. I like it. Hmm. You ever sleep with a chair against the door

No, I never slept with a chair against the door like a protection. Yeah. No, do you sleep at anything near the bed? Any type of weapon? No, nothing. No, no weapons steak knife scissors brass knuckles No, nothing, huh? No, no, no nice. But I mean again, I'm not like I don't like to get like deported. I don't even know what you're allowed to have Get deported. Hey, I'm not a resident like I'm not a Don't send me back. I mean like you can't have brass knuckles In your apartment, I don't think you can yeah, I don't know

But what do you have brass knuckles? You're like, oh groggy. You hear something you're like I don't know it's better than not having to throw it out or punching yourself in my underwear I'm just like taking shots of people. Is that how you sleep? You sleeping the skivvies in outdoor? Yeah, are you doing tidy whiteies? Are you doing boxers box or briefs? She's she found her How many pillows are you using? I use one pillow One pillow

It's fucking And then I have a second pillow that winds up somewhere around my body. Are you sleeping on your back? Side Sleep on your side a lot of size sometimes I'll put the pillow in between my knees. I like that. All right. That's good One pillow in between the knees one on two is just too much for me. I get too much tilt in the neck What do you do? What do you do with your arms? Sometimes I was around the pillow That's my I need one. There you go. I need it. All right. My girlfriend's like, why can't that be me and I go It's you can't explain it. Yeah, it's just it's crazy. Yeah, sometimes like why can't you face in it?

I don't know. So you guys both live with your girls. Yeah One one comforter or two This is a this is a big debate in my life. You have two comforters Fuck yeah, it's a game. It's a game. It's like having your own bed Instead of getting a king you get like two doubles or whatever dude two comforters. It is the Ultimate game changer. It's wild. So you're each wrapped up in your own thing. Yeah, we're like we have we might as well Be in different rooms. It's like sleeping in first class. It's amazing. I don't know you lady. It's pretty good, man There's no tussle. There's no there's no pressure. There's no like tautness to it

Exactly you're you're on your own little world. You never wake up. I highly recommend you never wake up just like naked Yeah, because you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, none of that Exact are you doing this too? Yeah, you don't tell me. Oh, I don't know Jesus, I don't know. It doesn't sound like you could handle this info. No, I like it does it We do when we go in we always did it in Germany like that's how she had her operation set up So when we go over to her parents house, that's how the bed is as well. There's two smaller Comforters are her parents doing the same thing. I think I think that's maybe have you ever heard of this? No, this is crazy talk No, this is I'm telling you this is such

It's a game changer. This is like I love lucy with the two beds. That's a thing, but I wouldn't hate. No, I wouldn't hate that Two beds. Give me two bedrooms. This is kind of two beds though because once you have your own blankets Then you're like, all right, we're just there's then there's the only thing you're sharing is the surface Which like doesn't matter that much doesn't matter. It's the blanket that is the nightmare to share It's not the bed. Try it out there gang. It's pretty classy, man. I ain't gonna lie This guy really hates communism Talk about the iron If you're at a restaurant, yeah, uh, will you take silverware off the table next to you?

If you don't have any yeah, you will oh for sure That's how well I will give a very like well. I mean, there's nobody sitting at the table, right? Yeah, there's nobody at the table. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's better than asking and waiting and having them go get it Yeah, just take that they can replace that with the whole snack I'm just trying to help them out servers hate that hate that I highly just ask for it I'm telling you they hate it. I think that table set up nice If you need something to ask me for it and it might be a situation. That's a you thing No, it's not a me thing. It feels like a you thing. I mean you're helping them out. They're regardless. They have to

Dude, what if you're gonna reset that table then they're gonna get you out of this table like these not set up They were doing their job. It would have been you would have had it already. Oh now. I'm not doing my job Yeah This is a you thing This is a you thing you ever talk to the concierge at a hotel talk to them. Yeah. Hey, what are you doing? You want to get out of here get a bag of milk? Hey, what's what's fun? Have you ever you've legit been like, right? What's fun to do around here? Really? Oh, yeah I have a restaurant restaurant recommendations break out the map and I want to put a gun in my mouth

Man, they're drawing you a map. You got to go out here me three buddy. I got a phone. Just give me the name Yeah, I'll chat them up. Okay I just picture him like Yeah, so what time you get done? Uh, what's your favorite flavor Gatorade and Pringles? favorite flavor Gatorade, uh orange or the purple uh, the g2 one like the no sugar purple one That one is actually my favorite one. It's really good. Those g2s ain't shabby. It's really good That is actually my favorite one because it tastes like uh

Whatever, it's kind of a kick back to the riptide rush, which they stop making. We never like the light purple. Um, and then uh Pringles my favorite Pringles. I don't have my favorite chip is again back to canada ketchup chips place Okay, somebody just gave us a package of those when we were up in the pacific northwest here. Yeah big fan. Uh first concert First concert was I think the bear naked ladies Yeah, when I was like 12 There's no tits here. That's right. It was actually not just them. It was them And blues traveler. That's a all right. That's a fun concert, right? Yeah, and that was when they were like the most one of the most famous bands in the world. I think this is 25 years ago

That's the chicken and china Bear naked ladies were popular and then they blew the roof. This is when they were like blue and this was in Toronto So they're hometown. The blues travelers were a good time too. And blues travelers. Yeah, and at that concert John Popper was started throwing out his harmonicas and I got one of them Really? Yeah, you have a John Popper harmonica. I do somewhere in my parents house. That's pretty sweet. Yeah Who else played on that? Uh Lisa Loeb Ben Harper Okay, yeah, definitely probably smoked weed during that and then when I was like 12 and then uh, I can't remember who else

But those three for sure. Okay and first job First job was selling razor scooters. Oh boy in the mall What year? 2021 Were they popping off? This is right when they were like getting real. I was like 15 or something. Yeah That sounds about right. Would you ride them around like? Yeah, I mean real. So could you do tricks? No, no tricks. Uh, like I you're saying did I or could I could you? But I rip around the mall when I was not supposed to be doing that like it was so I can't remember what's the

What's the uh, uh, Do you guys have spencer gifts? Yeah, of course. So it was I think they shocked that you do You guys got lolly's wacky gifts up here We actually had this thing called the id store, which is a similar thing when I went out. Do you have I swear to god? I'm not looking for tits Uh, don't be cut that Um, but so I think they owned like this was I think it was spencer gifts But so they had all these kiosks like they just bought you worked at a mall kiosk selling razor scooters

And they bought this guy stinks. Dude. They bought a million of them or something from like china And so then they opened up these kiosks like I guess it was all over and so I was but so there was very little supervision Right. Right. Yeah. Like I had some kid who was a manager. He was probably like 20 And I would see him like once a month. So it was just like I was just not room for two employees Were you moving? Were you selling? Yeah, they were cooking really cooking, but I was not not a thing sold themselves What are you talking about? Well because it was like a kiosk. I just like and I was I was not a good employee I was ripping around the mall. That was you know, like Taking long breaks. Well, you're pulling in an hour. Did you get a piece of the sale? No, no, uh

Canada probably 38 dollars an hour 10 bucks, baby. Okay. Um, what uh, 19 cents america What's a food court looking like in in a canadian? I like that. Uh, pretty normal No, no, no pandex brass goofy and spritzels And Wacky donalds We had uh, what was that? No, pretty normal. What was the name of like the generic pizza place would be in multiple? Uh, there was there was uh, what was that pizza pizza or this place geno's pizza was in all the food courts Which was the worst. What was the chicken plate? Do you have like a chicken kfc? Okay. We know there's also a place churches chicken

Ooh, I like the churches Respectable very browns. Do you have a favorite pop growing up? I like I was a big nasty guy Nesty, yeah, like the iced tea iced tea. Uh, but you call that pop as well. Well, it came in came in So it was in the same same category, but it didn't it was non-carbonated. I was a coca-cola, man Okay, love an st. Though brisk was all right too. I never liked the brisk and like hurt my throat. There was if there wasn't Yeah, there was like something. I don't know. I actually wonder what that is. Get in chemicals

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty good the to me the fucking Working in a mall kiosk on razor scooters is kind of the nail in the coffin for me For me, did your house have a crawl space? No, no, uh Maybe there was one but we didn't go up there like it was like in the roof or no like I I like Well crawl space is down or uh, I guess it would be an attic But you couldn't get it like you could get up there if you wanted to but it was just full of Wasn't like easy access. Yeah, got you. Yeah I mean

Did your family celebrate the legendary canadian holiday family day? Uh, family day only started 10 years ago Uh, but you're making up holidays up there. What the fuck they had 10 years ago You can't the name you could come up with this family day You can't do that That's it Cut it No, it's family days. So they wanted a statutory holiday in statutory. All right. He does it. It's great. It's a family show How you doing?

Jesus they wanted one in february Because there was no they wanted so you could have a long weekend and then they just The government that this is what they're cooking up in canada. Why this is why i'm here by the way All the stores are wacky the milk the holidays You guys are just making up your own rules. Yeah, so they go. Hey, how about family day? And I think it's Not even the same. I could be wrong on this. It might not even be the same day in every province or something They also got provinces up there It's the sixth wednesday of every month except for every other year. It's on thursday

that shit Yeah, family day is like 10 years old. I think ladies and gentlemen Danny polis chuck 100 tray telling you right now. Yeah, you stink. You're tragic Canada stinks, but we love you. You weren't even stealing from the razor kiosk. I would have gave you some points Or not even tail lips and nothing to oh no tail lips, but I would take really long like I remember one time We had this little in the do you ever work at a mall? No what

So in like the parents who loved me in the bowels of the mall is where all the storage is So our little kiosk room would be like we're all the storage because you can't keep a lot out there, right? Yeah, bring them as they sell so I would go in there sometimes and just take like hour-long naps Because you put the back in five minutes sign out, but nobody knows when you put it out And you're not you're not wetting your beak on these sails. So who cares? You're getting played a flat rate. No beak wet. Real renegade. Real renegade. Let me tell you Where's those goddamn razor scissors? I was going for eight minutes

Danny you got anything coming up you want to folks to know about plug away Just just the shows, uh, of course. Yeah, I love all your mail Tuesday nights The bathhouse live from the green room of the stand on wednesdays, which either of you guys any of you guys would love to love it Yeah, it's a fun time people call in it's a mess and then uh, the boys cast everybody shout out to the boys cast out We've done it go check out that episode if you haven't checked it out great time great time, buddy. We love you Thank you for coming in gang. We love you. We'll see you next week. Peace. Peace