Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Becoming a Man w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Ethos: Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/AYG Harry's: Our listeners get the Harry’s Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://harrys.com/GARBAGE HexClad: Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at https://hexclad.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hang on there, Kippie. Before we get the show started, I want to talk to Atlanta and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The boys are coming for the AYG live show as a part of that back on the block door. So round up the squad, grab some tickies, and come out and hang. Yeah, it's a great way to introduce people to the show. It's stand up, plus we play AYG with the crowd. You know it, you've seen it. Grab your tickets, RUGarbage.com.

We'll see you there. I love you. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of RUGarbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage.

It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that after you're going to be classy. Yeah. Or they're just a big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, A. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She's okay, thank God. Okay.

Carter's sleeping with her eyes open. Hoo! Who! A little. Big scare. I was also thinking about how we're going to chop the house up. Is that 50-50? Between me and I don't know if she has her affairs in order.

That's something. You're going to have documents on that. I found it downstairs in the, in her roll desk. Well, then you would understand who gets the house. I just saw an envelope that said, to the boys. Okay. I never liked you. There's a bunch of receipts.

My coes is coming at you from across the table This is what we call a family episode Just the boys, the bozos and the homies Just the way we like it Give it up for my best pal In the whole wide world Father of the week Kevin James Ryan everybody

Last week A holiday week Kids running around in Europe right now Shout out to you Thanks for tuning in as always used to make sure You read view, subscribe on iTunes Full video available on YouTube Also full video available over there on Spotify

The boys are climbing up the charts to the medium part of the charts. Top 15 comedy. I don't know what to tell you. Give me a call. Give me a call if you want to discuss it. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.

www. www.com slash you garbage. Go over there. You get all that freaking bonus content gang. And listen, if you are in a 100-mile radius, stop talking to the tri-state area. For you long-haul truckers out there. Get some tickets to the boys in Philadelphia at the Met Theater.

We're doing it big. come December, which is like less than two months away. Big theater, biggest show we've ever done, hometown. Grab some tickets and come see the boys. We got to sell this out. Started out at the Raven Lounge. That held about 32 people. Mm-hmm.

28 if Foley was in there. Out about 32 people, about 16 perkinsets. A couple of vodka Red Bulls. Oh, Vaca Red Bull and a perkinset. God damn. Okay, de-monetized already. Thanks for that one. Big Dog always contribute into the business.

that's coming out of someone's end oh man talk about hitting listen speaking of hitting i wanted to get over here i wanted to bring something up to you we've discussed it it's been discussed to a degree okay but uh i'm always weary i know i know i know just because you said it i don't know we just i'm just you really you really rope a dope it i was down there at patties my my lovely mothers uh recently and um you know she goes out to bed early i stumble into the kitchen you know see what's just see what's going on as i'm watching you know game sign fell whatever i'm not reading but not much is going on there's a couple of them

bad activity of yogurt some weird cheese you don't know whether it's you don't know what it is some pomegranate juice is now in there and then shit for the dogs so there's not a lot to go on. But I roll over to the pantry and I pull out a box of something that really defines a boy or a girl becoming a man or a woman. Okay. You understand what I'm saying? This is your cross. I don't know. I don't know. This is your crossing a dog. You could do your bat mitzviz. Your bar mitzviz. Your Your kinsayras? Huh? Kinsigneras, sure.

This really determines whether you've become an adult. Your palate has changed. You are mature when you realize just how good these things are. Luke, the screen. Sure, the original wheat thin. Listen, as you know, I'm a bit of an old soul myself. You really are. These were, I mean, these were just a round.

I mean, young, young. You got into him young. They were, I'm a fat kid. No one's suspended from the police force at the time? Two weeks, no pay. The world needs plenty of bartenders. Yeah, young age. I'll even push you one better, original Triscuit.

No, come on. Now you're being stupid. Luke cut that. It's crazy. The Triscuit, listen, we're not getting into a. I'm not saying it's better. I'm saying it's more adult. Or like, yeah, the crap, the garden herb I was doing them.

Who the fuck was doing that? My stepdad would get those and put the, I want to say, like, what was that cheese? It was like, it looked radio. It was red and orange. It was maybe some sort of pimento. No, you're talking about port wine cheese? Yeah. Fuck that shit.

I think it was like hell of a good port wine cheese. Dude, no. See if you could pull that up. You weren't doing that, were you? No. That's like doing a shot of Cutty Stark as a kid. Port wine cheese. It took me a while to eat the cheese.

It had like pine nuts on it or something. Oh, you're talking about that shit? I don't even know. No, hell of a good port. That stuff. The hell of a good port wine. I remember looking at that looked like Sherburton. I said, why the hell is just, you got to put this in a freezer.

It's going to go bad. That shit is a nasty. I don't think of it. Pull up Hickory Farm cheese bowls. They have fucking nuts around. picture of you yeah they were big too the fuck those things those were they had like sliced almonds or walnuts on the yeah i remember b you got a nut force field on this cheese i ain't touching it let me see sharp yeah no way no where's the

fucking pro bologna but listen i know you know no that wheat dins isn't a new topic but i just want to say because I really got great taste and a big crunch I was really thinking about it like that was really when you didn't really fuck with those until a certain point whether it was you know young for you some people have puberty or at least

some people that puberty a little late ironically I hit it late I think it was all the wheat stunted my hormone growth tits came in nice that was really when you grew up a little bit when you started appreciating them

And you were like, the wheat thin. That was one of the first. That and the saltine, I'll also, I'll add to that list. Yes. That was it, because they're not savory, they're not sweet. You have to appreciate it. That's the right word you have to appreciate it. Here's the thing.

The wheat thin is sweet. That's why I can't put the Trisket on there. I'm sorry. I'm not saying they're the same. I'm saying the Triscuit is more of a grown-up. I'm seeing your Triscuit and going in the same world. I enjoyed the Triscuits more than the wheat-thens. There were these things.

Crazy enough. When you said garden salsa, there was a, there was a garden salsa. What am I fucking European? Garden. No, that's what you said for the Trisket. No, garly garden herb. Oh, some sort of herb. That and the rosemary cracked pepper corn or something like that.

You are a rose. Man, you are old. God damn. Doing rosemary? That's all they had, man. It's all they had. Some days, be tight. There was something that had to be made by in Bibisco.

They were octagon shape and they had little things on it. I want to say crispics, but I know what. It wasn't crispics, but they were the crispics of Cracker. Yeah, and they had like, they had like some of the bigger chunks of salt on them or something. Those things were banging. But the Wheat din, man. It was Wheat din is really where it all began where you become a man. When you start being like, these fucking things are unbelievable.

Sure. No, I'm right there with you. Yeah. A grown up snack. Where the men become boys. Where the men become boys. And the women become who. Yeah.

I'm kidding. Slice of cheese. and a glass of white wine. We know what you're doing, honey. No. Just thought of that. I wanted to share it with you because I really thought about it. And I was like, man, that really was a time in your life.

Because I would knock that thing right out of the way when I was going into the pantry when I was a kid. Where are the Oreos? Where the ginger snaps? Where's the pretzels, the chips, something like that. And all that time, they were right there. I would even push back. I would say the ginger snap is more, not that they're not enjoyed by children, but that is more of an elder statesman upper echelon mature snack.

Especially this time of year. Sure. I remember getting your hands on them in the summer that were left over. God, they'd either be too, it'd get soft. They were like, got hard. They went through a cycle of the seasons, hard and soft a couple times a year. Yeah. I didn't like that.

It was like eating a coaster. Get out of here with that. But you may do. Summertime, mom and dad are at work. There's no money. There's no food. You eat ginger sap sandwich. Uh-huh.

Put a little bologna, you'd be all right. Get my head on straight. I always wanted to put it. I always wanted to take two and do a peanut butter in there. Never had the balls. Never got around to, but I? Maybe one day. Sometimes you got to have the resources.

Or the money. Well, I think it was always, I was hungry, so I'm like, I'll just do sandwiches. Like, you know, because that, I don't know about you. I'd push back. I don't get full on snacks. They don't fill me up. I could eat. They ruin my habit.

here's the thing is there there should be and this is this is I mean we're in a hot water debate about snacks here this is real I would argue that there is an age a maximum age limit and I haven't hit this yet

a maximum age limit to when you should be consuming Doritos what the fuck is this hey that's a child that's a childhood snack to me I stole I I enjoyed them a handful of days ago. I'm not saying, I just think that's more of a, it's like a gusher.

I think you're allowed the nacho cheese and cool ranch forever, but those crazy flavors, they're not doing three Ds, yeah. They got a stop at some days. Wait, I can't have a sweet chili lime, whatever those ones. Those sweet and spices are good. Spicy nachos, sweet chili lime. I don't know, just they seem, because they got huge when I was a kid and they got very branded, they were very marketed to children.

I would say like potato chips are marketed to everybody I would argue Doritos are marketed to children Leno used to do the commercials Yeah he talks like a It talks like a clown Now listen Luke put an ad up on Craigslist I need a new co-host

This guy's boncos That's crazy No I told you What's the last time you had a Dorito? I just fucking said that Like 48 hours ago I'm not saying I I abide by the rule

I'm saying There is more The same way there's a Triscuit Versa fucking cheese it there's there are more mature chip options than fucking cool ranch Doritos I would say this okay that's all I think that's fair there's a certain point cool is in the name that's not for fuck if it was ranch Doritos cool ranch hand Doritos now we're taught yellowstone Doritos whoa I'm in put a couple of them on a PB&J 310 the Yuma chips you got a got a fucking cowboy yet I was going to say because I stopped myself from doing this, again, when I was around the little cousins,

there's definitely an age where you cannot eat a candy necklace anymore. I mean. And I had a little bit of it. I was like, I shouldn't be eating this. Did you put it on? No. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was talking to an esteemed gentleman.

I didn't put it on my, I rolled it twice and put it on my wrist. Like a real lady. Hey, boys. Anybody wants some candy? You can't be eating nose. No. 49 no yeah yeah i'm done now that's it this week uh yeah now you can't be that's uh that's a tough one is that weird who brought those around the kid's child okay yeah like how are those in

your orbit they're even dude they were i was at a rave in jamaica queens what do you mean the kids at them was vini with the skinny there uh i would argue that got phased out for me at it those things they stink no they don't yeah they do they're like sweet tarts but they're fun And the big rings are cool, too. I mean, you got to crack them in half. It's just like, what are we doing it? That I ate.

What about a ring pop? Would you have a ring pop now? No. No. That's pretty good. What wouldn't you eat anymore? A ring pop? Most candy jewelry I'd have to turn my nose up to, if I'm being honest with you.

Unless it was edible panties. Would you have a fruit by the foot? Nothing on that? Have you ever eaten edible panties? No. I feel like I've had a bite of one. One time at lunch. I like a rum.

Divorce dad. I'm sitting in the edible panties. I'm sitting in the cafeteria. What the heck? Teacher comes over. What are you doing going through my bag? Talk about fruit by the foot. Nothing on that.

It means the teacher had a pair in her bag. No, I got it. That was for going over my line. I appreciate that. Yeah, a little vendetta. Would you have a fruit by the foot? Maybe, but I would have to eat it in a certain way. I'd have to unravel it all the way,

discard the trash and eat it that way. Well, that's the way I do it. I get around the whole thing and then smoosh it up into a ball and eat it. Yeah, I'm just not around. If I'm around, if I'm around, but they'd have to be like my, my brother or sister. What about bubble tape? If they, no. No, the bubble gum stops to this.

To me, listen, what am I, you know, who am I? To me, bubble gum stop, like, you know, I'm not saying you can't enjoy it. I don't get a piece of that bubblelish or something like that. I was trying to find that the other day at a bodigate. They don't really have it. It's all sugar-free gum now. I would say bodeggi, yeah. I was eating Big Red like a dickhead.

Oh, man. Big Red used to make my buddy shit. It was crazy. I'd never seen anything like it. And it took, he loved it. It took a lot of it. Talk about a couple of closers. It took, we were like, we were well into, we were well into our 20s, I think.

And he's like, I don't know. It's just one of the spices in it or something, ran through. Probably rosemary. Dude, we'd be like out at the bar. He'd be like, I got to go home. He was crazy. What? It was nuts.

It was like, uh, see, as you see if you can find anything on. There's got to be something unless he's in unless he's the only freak. Maybe it was the rump. There's probably something for when he was a kid. He was some type of childhood trauma. His dad chewed big red and he smacked him around. Got molested by Clifford. It's like specific sweeteners.

Right. Yeah. That makes sense. What are the sweeteners? I'm kidding. You got one? sucrose aspartame that's not sucrose

no there's like a nut that was that's sucrose and now wait what are you making Spanish for S-U-C-R-A-L-O-S-E Srucros Why do you? Hey, Javier you just did the same thing Hora

Hey, Segros Me Gusta Edible Panty And Clifford Much grande rojo But I feel like Listen I think if you You can have that stuff. This is a hard take by, you know, a guy trying to be an adult.

Doritos thing's nuts. But go ahead. Listen, if I'm somewhere, if I'm, and I'm saying this for mature people, not us. I'm not saying stop eating Dorita. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying if I walked in to like the guy who's doing my will and he was finishing up lunch with a bag of cool ranch Doritos. The little bag? anything yeah give me i give a a nuts uh something yet that's that's that's it that's child

what about funnion he had a small bag of funnions on the thing i can go eater but that's not great you don't want your doctor eating doritos what no you don't come on give me that give me that you don't want the guy in charge of your 401k you know eating a hot dog in doritos what that's my guy i love them but that guy's weak That guy's going to That guy's going to fold That guy will flip on you First line of question

He's going to fold The southern district rolls in the town Yeah A little bag of Fritos What does you got on a plane? And Young guy comes out And he's finishing a bag

A bag of Doritos And he's got a ring pop on Who's the young guy? The pilot Oh See what I'm saying Is it good looking? No, not really looks like me

Is he coming out like Yeah dude what's up No he's just like I'm just wrapping up You got a candy necklace on. He's candy flipping. Isn't that something candy flipping? No, I'm out.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm going for the door. Dude, I've said this before. The first time, I hadn't flown in a very long time. Well over a decade. I was flying to see my boy, Pat, in Ireland. We were studying abroad. Both take a $421 with the money I sold my books.

Take that. I was supposed to give that back to my mom. I did not. I was supposed to go towards student loans. It did not. They got robbed of Louie. He got on. I was so nervous to fly again.

I didn't fly. I probably only flown maybe three times in my life as a child. Since Normandy. The hair looks good. The doors are open. They do that band of brothers. The guy, one guy shits his pants and drops him like a mile and a half out. And I was so nervous.

The pilot got on the plane. And I saw the pilot in the. in the, what I'm going to call it, in the duty-free show. I saw all pilot in the duty-free buying two cartons of Winstons, and then that was the pilot. That's good. Yeah, and I went, I want my guy smoking heaters, not eating Doritos. That's what I'm saying.

You get Rolos? What the fuck. Yeah, you fuck that. I don't trust you. Okay, but talk about ethos. Shout out the ethos, baby. Dang, you got to have that life insurance. God forbid, something goes south.

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which you got to get out in front of sometimes. And you've got to be able to secure your family's financial future. If you're the breadwinner out there, you want to make sure your loss of income is covered, like keeping up with the mortgage tuition and other bills. I had a new baby recently. Obviously, as you know, it's made me rethink. Thank you. It's made me rethink everything. If you've ever had a kid, you go, what's going to happen when I'm gone? If I can't work, blah, blah, blah. And if you've ever used

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That's ethos. E-T-H-O-S dot com slash A-Y-G. Protect your family with life insurance from ethos. Get your free quote at ethos.com slash A-Y-G. That's E-T-H-O-S dot com slash A-Y-G. application times may vary, rates may vary. Kim, let's talk about Harry's. Shout out to Harry's.

My favorite razor. I use Harries. I get down here. I get it all cleaned up and nice. Feels fantastic. You buy those other razors? They're banging you out for what? For this, that, the other thing?

No good. That's a total scam. What you want to do is you want to go over to Harry's. My favorite razor to use. Yes. Harries is their own world, has their own world-class blade factory in Germany. There's no outsourcing, no middlemen. And listen, they can pass that savings right on to you.

They got a good product out of an affordable price. None of these big branding, none of these big things, big time. Harry's cut out the middleman straight to the guys. The same facility has been perfecting the blade making for over 100 years because they control the entire process from steel to shelf. Love that. They keep the cost low. Why pay $34 for refills when Harry gives you better blades for a fraction of that?

Talking about the lubricating strip with vitamin E and aloe. I don't have to. you just did. They got an advanced pivoting system to reach every corner of your face, redefine blade tech for a closer, smoother shave and weighted metal handle. It's the Harry's heaviest handle ever

for added control and comfort. We're talking a heavy bike handle. For limited time, our listeners can get Harry's Plus. Harry's Plus trial set for only $10 at harries.com slash garbage. This set includes all new Harry's Plus Razors, one refined five blade cartridge,

a two-ounce foaming shave gel and a travel cover to protect your blades on the go. Just go to harries.com slash garbage to claim this offer and after the purchase are going to ask you how you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them the boy sent you and love you. Dude, if my pilot is chewing bubble-licious

and not fucking big red, that's a problem. Juicy fruit I'll give you. That was in 1950s away. I judge the pilots on the cologne. If the cologne's too nice. You're making out with you. You're necking with these bros?

No, but you walk by and you get a little sour. I want to smell brute, old spice, aqua velva. Stetson. My stepdad was... Something that they wore in a fucking Vietnamese prison camp, you know what I'm saying? My mom still has the Stetson down the shore. It's made the move, like, his Stetson, and I took a whiff of it last time. That is...

Oh, Joe's? Yeah, that is a man's... You should just feel a spritz it at for yourself. I can't. It brings me... It's just like... It takes me back to, like... What?

You make it out? Me and him. No, it wasn't as tight. No, I just, I don't know. It takes me back to like a kid, not in a good way. I'm going to start, oh, good. That's how you start fucking mind-bye. Wow, there we go.

Talk about sci-ops. I'm going to start wearing Stetson. Driving race cars. Sure. Moking heaters. Get a mustache. Two out of four-haped bed. You're drinking that, like, you know, that mug?

I feel like that mug's empty, and you're drinking it like a Broadway actor. Does anybody else see that? Have you noticed that? You're moving way too much for there to be any liquid in there. There's only a little bit in there. I know shit. And you're doing big... I drank it too fast.

You're doing big gulbs. And my Todd Tucky cup. The last one was empty, for sure. No, it's still a bit in there. I'll do a little baby sips. I want to do the cup now. I don't want to be reusable plastic. Okay.

All right. New guy. And put an ad up on Craigslist. I need another idiot I'm looking You apply Send me the link Come in

Ola Yeah, don't more plastics for me Okay Yeah I don't No more animal products either Sike Burger

You got a fur coat Are they ever coming back Fur coat? Yeah It's kind of funny I drove by one There's a You know

There's in the In New York City Uh, there's the garment district But they have just like all those weird stores that just sell like random sweatsuits and wholesale shit Yeah, I don't know who they have like, who's buying I don't understand, I don't know That's all Al Qaeda in my mind

Um Okay They're wearing it, that they're wearing it That's who's buying that shit Al Qaeda's running around a bunch of fur coats drinking empty mugs No, they were sweatsuits I figured they work out in that shit

Something I don't know who's I don't I don't know who's buying it. It's not the videotapes I've seen. It ain't jerseys. They're not all wearing fucking Adidas match and sweatsuits. Maybe they did pick up the profile a little bit. A couple of cool guys. All right, all that's neither here nor there.

We've got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. Get the weakens out of it. You're killing me. As you know, when you're doing the old Patreon, the greatest website of all time, we'll answer your garbage question on the ears. This one, you know, very relatively timely This was from Adelaus

Is it garbage to wear sports gear on vacation I was just in Mexico On a trip on Sunday And there were tons of people wearing Eagles jerseys Oh yeah On Sunday I got to push back What

Let me fill you in Please go ahead I apologize You just know upset about the Dorito thing Hey gush your head And gushers too You can't be doing You can't be buying gushers as an adult

I get all over my paperwork. They make my teeth hurt. I never liked them. Really? That's crazy. There's not enough chew to, like they're like too mushy. There's no. Who are you, Andy Rooney?

You don't like nothing. This guy. Yeah, my game. Yeah. I remember. Candy didn't taste good. I can, yeah. I like candy.

Hey, can't eat cool Doritos. Okay. This is just like a fact guy getting it. It was coal miner Doritos. I would eat it. I'm Kevin Ryan I don't like anything fun That's kind of funny

That's kind of funny I didn't know who Andy Rooney was And then they cut to him one time And I was like This guy's got some good ideas He was funny as shit Yeah there you go Take that Kippy Rooney

Coming at you Real butt Kippy Rooney is all right Cut to me I got a Tweed jacket on Dude A Tweed jacket will get you some fucking crazy eyebrows Hey, Tribe, hit me. What's the deal with fat friends?

That was more Godfrey. Gilbert. Affleck. I did go real Godfrey, Gilbert. Why is it called fruit by the foot? It's only 11 inches. Who's that? You, Kippie Rooney.

Wait, what? I'll work on them. I don't have what voices? I don't know. You got me confused with the Godfrey and they'd go back and forth that I've flagged. I don't you take a sip of a word. I had it perfect for a second. I will.

Enigins. Hot. You stink. Ooh. Big red. Orange soda. Stop telling people I'm a bad actor, too. I only told you that in confidence.

I didn't know. You were going to blurt it out. I want to say this about the jerseys. Uh-huh. You remember that there was an Eagles game when we were in Hawaii. Yeah. It's a Sunday. Yeah.

If you know you're going to be on vacation and there's a birds game, you bring your jersey or whatever you want to represent. I got to push back on a Jersey pool side at the beach. I got to push back. I go, I think vacation wins there. I'm not saying you can't support the team. You can't watch the game. You got a hat on.

I think a jersey, a thick. NFL all four big jersey? I can't do a jersey in hot weather. That's what I'm saying. I go like, put a tea. If you got a bird's t-shirt or something, show your tattoo. But like, I mean, if you got the elastic up around your arms at a swim-up bar, you look like a bazzo. I didn't say word in a pool.

The chlorine's going to stain the fabric. Yeah, I was making a joke. And also the resort you put us up at no swim-up bar. I don't know if you remember that or not. Take another empty swig-a-at. There's some in there. And you wouldn't know if there was anything. I'll spill it on my...

Good actor. That's okay. Listen, I'm not here to say, do it, don't do it. It's trashy. It's trashy. Can I say this and it's going to sound, I'm going to sound like a real jerk off. And this isn't just the Eagles.

Hold on. Let me smoke a sick. For some teams, I can see that. What? that you look like a sucker some teams but I don't want to say who you know

listen it's all teams if unless you're at like you go to like the watch along but I think if you're at a resort and the guy next to you doesn't have a shirt on and you have a thick Mike Mamoula shirt on jersey on it's like you're out of place that's what I would say

I don't I don't think sportswear is around the pool and the beach. I think invest in some vacation sportswear, if that's that important. A Hawaiian. A tee shirt. Or an Eagles t-shirt. You're wearing that at the bar. It's just jersey specific. I would say jerseys.

Yeah. Too thick. It's a... All right, bro. I'll give it to you. But if we're on vacation and I got my jersey on and you start talking shit, you might get rocked. You don't have a jersey. You just said you don't like them. And now you know what they get me for Christmas. I'd like a nice jersey.

Mine. from high school sure I'd be cool if he got me a widener jersey don't get your hopes up I was 62

my uncle Joe was 62 that's why I used 62 in high school college they gave me like I was like double zero or something like or 98 a week

it was so big on me too you were playing roulette yours is green this guy don't get in much more of an outside better um this one is this is from uh let's see this is from adam re sub 10 dollar homie resubbed after being jammed up welcome back hello uh hello i'm kippy runy is it garbage if your dad had to tie his shoelaces i don't like what this is to his windshield wipers so he could before he could get them fixed i guess he was wow Man, coming from a guy who doesn't have a good windshield wiper sitch going on right now.

No shit. It's been bad. Since if I bought the car, it's been bad. Yeah, mine's don't. The windshield wipers aren't great anyway. Yeah. The fog gets somewhere. I can't get it with the defrost.

It's just after like a couple of days. It's streak. Yeah, I don't know. Mine's not good. I asked when I took it in for a tune-up last time. I asked them to throw a new set of blades on there. That didn't work? I don't know if they did or not.

It's something with the ankle. You know what you've got to get is those two Johns, the double blade wipers. The Rain X. Oh, we've talked about. Forget about Rain X. If everything worked as good as Rain X, I mean, come on. But, yeah. That stuff's amazing.

I would argue if you're doing that, I'll let you do that to get out of a pinch. If you're in a monsoon, I would recommend just pull over and wait for the rain to pass if you don't got working windshield wipers. Sure. Just me. They end up. But if you're going to do that, great ingenuity. You made it work.

How do you make the other one work, though? That's three stooges shit right there. You got the wife doing this. It looks like you're doing a mashed potato. I can do it. Man, you, what are you? You told me, if you would have asked me it ate what the national dance is, I would have said the mashed potato and the twist.

Doing this. Ever dude. That would come. I wish what that would come back. There was ever a dance floor at a Sullivan family party, i.e. A christening and a wedding, something like that. Twist is great for a fat kid.

I mean, I was over in the corner. So somebody does the worm or makes you look like a fucking. jerk off. Yeah. Hey, buddy is a family program. We just not thrusting a hump in the floor. It's always some cousin's fucking greasy boyfriend doing that shit. Fucking scumbag. Fucking coming in here.

My fucking aunt's wedding. Fucking embarrassing everybody doing that fucking American bandstand shit. That ain't my kind of rock and roll, buddy. I'll tell you that right fucking now. You do the fucking, you do the twist. You want to fucking shimmy it up a little bit. Do that. Fucking coming here.

Your fucking abs. This fucking, oh, all sweaty. First time, one of the girls in my family started dating an Italian. Joey. Dude, he showed up to Christmas. They must, she must have been. He was older, too. And I think he's still around in our family.

Like, somebody, he's somebody's. Of course, he can get rid of him. He's somebody's, nice kid. Guy, I mean, he's probably fucking. If you want a stereo or something like that. He's probably pushing 50 at this point. Nice guy. That's such a Philly dirtbag.

Like, good kid. He's got like four kids. He's retired. He got a pension. But he walked in, this is down in Port Richmond. He walked into Christmas, Christmas Eve. I mean, slid him. And a head to toe, Adidas tracks suit brand new, dude.

He had the undershirt on, the shoes, the pink. I mean, he got crucified. And I didn't under, I was too young to understand why. I just saw the room. Dude, they got him, they got him in, like, at the front door, like a mob hit. Like, he opened the door, and it was like, yo, what the fuck? I mean, they were calling him. He hasn't met him yet?

No, they did. Some of them did. But he got, I mean, he got crushed. And I remember the first time being like, that suck. You got to hang out here because you, because your girl, you should have just been like, you guys got me, I'm tagged, I'm out. I'm not hanging out here for three hours. You haven't played the other way?

You were walking to a tagging house? I was old. Fucking little Irish fat kid. They fucking rip me to shreds. Uncle fucking one-liners in the corner fucking crucify me. Because I go up to get a fucking second plate of fucking angel here.

You got a mustache, man. You're yelling at me. I'm fucking 14 years old. I have a fucking weight problem. The fuck. I don't know. Tell your wife not to make fucking the sauce so good. I wouldn't fucking be up here three times.

Just crushing me. Brutal. Her brutal. They're killing, too. Oh, yeah. They all laugh. A whole bottle of wine on the table. They made it.

Killing me. Fucking guido's. Food was so good, though, I thought it. Woo-wee. Yeah, that was. That's like when you realize what funny was. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. That was my kind of funny. Even though they were coming at me. Yeah, well, we met him. My uncle Pat came to the Atlanta. Atlantic City show and he was talking he had his boy there and his boy goes I hear a lot of you Kevin in you and I'm like yeah I'm just mimicking the funnier guys that were at the party growing up you know what I mean I'm like I just took a little here a little there a little timing from him

a little act out from him a little attitude from him got out branded and artist doesn't create he listens sure to my new book and artist doesn't create he listens And drink for empty cups, step one. Just a little bit in there. I'll get to the first commercial break. Kim, let's talk about Hexclad. Shout out to Hex Klan. Talk about getting with the big dogs.

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The best on the market. Get some Hexclad. Tell them the boys saying it. Yeah, guys, this is any of this is just serendipitous timing. I bought a full set of hexclads because I was tired of my bozo-ass pans, pots and pans I had. And I came in and I started bragging about it on the show before they were even a sponsor. I got the free ones. It's, I mean, you can, the eggs couldn't stick to this thing even if you use superglow.

It's crazy. Obviously, I'm speaking with hyperbole, but it's fantastic. You feel like a pro. It takes the stress out of, oh, my God, is this too hot? Is this too hot? The pan does it for you. You just feel good when you're cooking with them. Uh-huh.

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It's the matcha or the three ensemble Cado Cephora of the FACETs that I've been to denish who energize all the time. Mm, it's all the ensemble. The form of standard and mini-regrouped. Hello, Ben. And the embellage, too beau, who is practically pre to donate.

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Vite. Procurre you see form of standard and mini regrouped for a better quality of price. On link on Cifera.com or in magazes. All right, this one's from Bug Glan Bed. Any ladies in your family obsessed with horses or wolves?

That's a tough love. Horses, yes. And someone in your family? My mom loves horses. Really? likes the trotters now she loves horses never bet the trotter she talks she okay she had a horse what for like a minute this was when she was it i don't know you get her on the phone she starts she acts like she's fucking um i had the pony she's yeah she actually she's katherine headburn or

something like that just talking about like you know like she grew up on the farm or like around the kentucky derby my uncle jack had horses or had a horse and i Up at Wilkes Bear or something? Yeah, I think somewhere up there. I don't think that was like the prestigious horse. That was like a workhorse. Yeah, dude. She had an old mule or something.

He'd ran out for parties or something. Patches was called. That's not a dog's name at best. That ain't a horse's name. And I never seen it. That horse got three legs. I don't even know where the fucking farm was. It could have been in a fucking empty lot around the corner for all I know.

But I know my uncle Jack, they're big in rodeo and all that stuff. down in Texas um but this was like 1979 she said she had a horse she used to ride it and she loves horses and for a minute she was volunteering at like uh like a horse farm like brushing the horses and shit i'm like you're gonna get fucking kicked in the tit what are you doing over there go to fucking water aerobics like a normal person

you're not a trained horse trainer probably doping them up Yeah, I don't think anyone in my family's ever been on a horse. I know Denise does not get close, has never been close to a horse. I can guarantee you that. Wolves is extra trashy, though. Yeah, that's, I had a, there's a faction of my family extended, whatever family that lives up in, up in the mountains. Yeah?

Yeah, it come down once about every 12 years. No shit. Yeah. Huh. You got to get eyes on them. Uh-uh. No kidding. It's no, boy, you know.

Ooh. Yeah, you'll, you, you would, there's no, there's no, uh. I think the fireplace is always going at their house. See the smoke rising. Yeah, there's, I don't even know what the house looks. No one's ever been up there. They're like mountain people. Whoa.

Yeah. Heavy. I've, I've seen them in the past 20 years once. They smell like wood when they're around? Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. But she came down. Wooden gunpowder.

She came down with one of those wolf shirts on. Too like an event. Even Joey was making fun of her. Talk about me. Look at his fucking brood. Different side of the family. Yeah, with a wolf shirt. Like the one like Jack Black wears?

Ian wears those kind of shirts. Yeah. Like Kitchie. Yeah, this wasn't kitchie. This was like I'm putting This is my nice shirt I'm putting on

I don't get the wolves thing I don't get it either They're cool They're a majestic They're the you know They're more spiritual majestic Until they're fucking Ripping you apart

On a fucking hike I know Trust me I agree They don't fuck around They roll deep to 1520 A pack one We get you

Mm-mm And they see You ever see that big one The one that I can't remember Where it was It was a big Like gray black wolf It was huge

Yeah we think They're like dogs Actual wolves are like significantly bigger. Fuck you up. Yeah, dog. I don't get that. I think they're cool, but I don't know. I remember being in somebody's house and they had like a painting of them behind the couch.

It's so trashy. It's so trashy. They were big. I get it if it was like a yellowstone portrait and you got some wolves in it, but I imagine it's like. What's a yellow stone? Oh, like, I think you meant to show. I thought you meant to show. Are you related to Kevin Koster?

That's, now that you say that, that same faction of the family, another branch of that was very, like, Southwest influenced, you know, like New Mexico, Wolfland. I don't get that. They had a, she had a three, I don't know, I'm just, I don't know, I don't fuck with that. Turquoise jewelry and pick aside, will you? Tex-Mex. Dark Coach Julian Tostatas I remember the first time I went out for Tex-Mex I didn't know what it was

This is late in the game I was proper mid-20s I just thought it was what they added the Alamo I didn't I'm not even I got to be on I'm not sure what the Alamo is That's for my next A rental car place They screw you

Motherfuckers own me Here if a tank of gas I went out with Phil X He's like let's go to Tex-Mex And this is when we were like I was becoming an adult Uh-huh You've had a wheat then

I was still eating Doritos And I thought I didn't know I hadn't really Started my foray into Mexican food Uh-huh And there was just like I got like the sausage

The smoke sausage Sampler platters Which would have been for like 13 people Or something like that I ordered off the catering menu And he's like, really? Like he got like a barricie?

You know, I don't know what the fuck he got. That comes with seven salads. Is it me or is that a lot of cold slough? That's a lot of coldslaw. You know, you fucked up when the sides hit the table for you like, oh, shit. fuck and they put down like a holding thing it was like it was like wheels of sausage you know what I mean like the roll

like they got it from the grocery store and just cook they can cut this thing up or not I stink what Phil say I was just like ah this is a lot and he's like yeah it's a weird choice man I just like musseling through my fucking knife link of The quinceanetta platter. I'm pretty sure he picked up that check.

I didn't know what Tex-Mex was. I don't really understand what it is either. I'd like to try right now for you. Can you pull up the actual definition so you fully can define it? There's beans involved. I mean, I think it's a hybrid combination of Texas and Mexican food. Texas barbecue and Mexican food.

I would, yeah. I think it's a blending of. of the two. But I feel like baked burritos on there for some reason. A burrito with sauce on top that you would eat with a fork and a knife. What do you got? Blend is the key word. Blend of Mexican and Southern American features originally characteristics of border

regions of Texas and Mexico. Hit me with a dish. Sausage platter. Is it like when you put beans and chili? Because Texas chili is no beans. Defined by using ingredients like beef, yellow cheese, flour, tortillas. along with spices like human. Key dishes include fajitas, nachos, chili corn, carne.

Oh, okay. I got you. All right, so, okay. Sour cream is like a big Tex-Mex. Oh, no shite. So it's not really anything. I got it. It's just Americanized Mexican food.

The version of that, yeah. Which I'm into. I told you. I like a traditional, but, you know, get me with an Ortega. Yeah. I'm in. Sure. I'm right there what you do.

Turn it right now. I'm in. Smoke something. what you dog um all right you got more that sausage on you big man man i remember it was like it was a lot did you take it home i doubt it i think i was sleeping on his couch got it in your pocket are tough times i had such he probably thought you were real jammed up you ordered that much food i mean he knows i think jesus man i'll get you breakfast tomorrow yeah that's just cool um

What a loser. Yeah, I know that kid's so much money. It's crazy. It's crazy. So nuts. I'll go down. Send me down. What?

Whatever he needs, you know? I'll do a golf thing with him. Let him show me off a little bit. That, it's fine. They offered to take me to his country club. And I don't know anything about the country clubs, obviously. I'm more of a public course. Guys have sassage?

Loser. He sent me to menu? He's like, yeah, we can go here. I said, dare? I'm a goddamn hate for celebrity taking me to that stuff. I don't know anything about it. Fuck, I can't be seen going there. Public course.

The place sucks. Ah, man, we stink. Yeah, I had a realization of, like, the struggle I had. Because as, you know, now I'm a father. I've taken a lot of, like, you know. You still talking about the sausage? get over it you misordered swing and a miss no just like how much both of us i would say you still to a certain extent struggle to be adults proper functioning adults it's bad for a long time

we just didn't have the resources to do it now that i'm a father i see the responsibility i went oh people have been doing this you think you're behind you think you this is I never realized how immature I was once the fatherhood came. And I was like, oh, everyone I know has been doing this for eight years. And so you think attacking Doritos is going to turn this all around on you? Is that what this is? You didn't like the comment about the Doritos. I did not.

I did not. God of the American pastime. That's probably, Doritos probably Tex-Mex. Right? Listen, you're not wrong. This one's funny This was from all the toast $10 woodsman

How many tree stumps are in your yard Bonus points if it's all stumps I would I think to me They were My understanding of them And they were very hard to get out Up until like 15, 20 years ago

100% It was like what are you going to do About this stump You had to know a guy Then the technology They come and they drill it They would burn them out All that stuff

The watch I saw But now it seems like they'll come over in 30 minutes and fucking zip them out. Because there's more of the machines out there and the technology is caught up. I remember watching that shit like it was fucking seeing fire for the first time. These dudes came over on a Saturday. It was done in five minutes. They just dropped this huge fucking thing. It was all wearing.

It's all seeing instant mulch. There's wood chips everywhere. Crazy. I had to rake that shit up. I'm busting my balls. but yeah that's um you ever try to go out one of those things

my dad you must have had a course letter to win him try to take a stump out yeah we were not we were not we were not large landscaping we did we cut the grass we were dead the beds my dad would drop the mold drop the rot we would do that

but like we knew there was better tools than us hacking at that for fucking a four day weekend dude we were hacking at it my dad's so pissed because those roots down there They're, like, flexible. They're not dry.

They're moist. And you can't snap those things. I saw one. It was the chain around it and then a wheel. And if you use, like, if you put the wheel up, it acts as a fulcrum. Simple machines take you back to elementary school. A wheel? Yeah, you take a tire.

Uh-huh. Like a truck tire, so. Uh-huh. You wrap a chain around it. And then a lot of people try to rip it, like, with the back of their truck. Like, they tow it. Okay. You know what I mean?

Like, they pull it. Um, but this, you put a tire. Like, say, this is the chain. you put a tire here. Oh, I got you. And that creates the fric, and that can absorb, the tire can absorb the tension and create the whatever. And that pops it right out.

No shit. I mean, I ain't doing it. Fuck that. I remember, there was one in my yard and my dad's yard. And, uh, I remember. They were kind of cool for a little while. If you had a big one, you sit on it. I remember him going, yeah, you got to, we could burn this out.

I remember I was like seven. I'm like, we're not doing that. I'm like that. We're not, no, we're not try to light a tree on fire kind of guys. We have no experience doing that. We live in the suburb. It's not like we're in like a country where you got like three acres and you can just let it burn.

Yeah, we don't have a burn pit, dude. My dad tried to do that for one weekend. It takes like the weekend. To burn one? Yeah. It takes like two days. And it didn't work out and he just had to call in Tom Cachetta. That's a good tree guy.

Tom Cichetta. Is he the tree guy or the everything guy? Wow. Tom Cichetta. Tom Cichita. That out in five minutes. You know what the hell you're doing, Lou? I'm kidding, sir

Please don't fire me Also, I saw a comment Somebody really thinks we sold to Luke's family's company The Dempsey Group We didn't What? What are those papers I signed?

Two guys coming to drag me away Oh God All right, let's see here Um Never have This is from Flatbush Tommy We never have one read. Let's see.

I've caught my old man adding salt to the pretzel bag. P.S. He's on high blood pressure meds. That's wild. Yeah, because it doesn't stick to it. Yeah, that one's just in the bottom then. Yeah. Unless you maybe you flick some water.

Yeah, flicks some water on that first. Coat it up. That's still enough. Oh, you meant because it's bad for you. Yeah, that's what I meant because it's bad for you. It's also it's like, I don't know. I'm a big pretzel guy. I could go with a little more salt on my cheese it, to be honest with you.

Not on my goldfish. Yeah, I don't. But my cheese and I can do a little hit. I don't hate that. But the pretzels I feel are, you're buying the wrong pretzels, and you have many options of pretzels to get here. I would say most of the time pretzels are too fucking salted. Yeah, I mean, they're well salted.

You ever catch those rods? I don't fucking suck your eyes in the back here. You need a screaming cold fucking roopier. Yeah, or the Snyders, that thick, like real, real white salt. Love that. Oh, man. shit's brood I end up scraping half it at all sometimes on a soft pretzel do they do a little too much

yeah not philly but sometimes in the other ones they go over the top it's like what the fuck I watched I used to get them a lot when I was very broke I'd get a dye coke from the street vendor and those pretzels up here oh they suck sucks so bad because you come from a pretzel culture they did the soft pretzels in New York are whack um we should open up a soft pretzel place up here you want to we'd clean up so we don't know how to make pretzels You get some fucking drunk to do it I don't know

That's a good start to the business It's a fucking guy Yeah fucking Larry Kleinsman What's his name? What's your tree guy's name? Tom machete Tom Chichetta Tom Chichetta

We could find Find out if we can open up What's the requirements For a Philadelphia Pretel company Just have them to chip them up every day That's not a bad idea For a franchise So I'm not doing South Philly

We got her own spot we have to make the pretzels well we'll get down to Philly we'll get our head You're doing this every day You can't be selling day You're lazy ass You're going to try us to be selling day olds

In a week I don't want to sit in traffic Can I finish? No We go down to Philly We find somebody that knows How to make pretzels We put the screws to him

And let him know that if he wants Things to go nice He'll do what we ask We bring him up here We tell him you're going to make pretzels for us get him to make the soft pretzels yeah I don't think anything can go wrong with that sounds like a full seems like a full proof plan

we find the pretzel maker in Philly and hire him to come up here and make pretzels we'll open them up brick and mortar we'll ship around a country I think I'm out do holiday pet I'm out I can get you 100 for 130 a hundred pretzels for 130 bucks yep so if we what is it 100 pretzels $130 fuck that you can't sell a pretzels Also for more than a dollar.

Up here you can. For what? These fucking yuppies, these tourists, they don't know what's going. This is your problem. You don't understand business at a granular, granular level. Get these robs up here. Well, dude, say you're walking down the street. You're from Philly.

You're a heavier man. You indulge in the salty carbohydrates of said soft pretzels. You go, holy shit, he smelled and look like South Philly pretzels. And you pop in there and I go, hey, these pretzels, they're $2.50 each. $5 bucks, two pretzels. What are you doing? $3, $5 for $2 for $5. That's how you do it.

I'm fucking deal, quarters. $3 a pretzel, two for five. Everyone's doing two for five. Two for five, that's $50 times $5, $250. I made $120 on the pretzels. You gotta take out gas I'll see you around Take out gas

Take out tolls Who's working on You gotta go down And buy these pretzels I thought this wasn't shipping too Well I mean We can ship these ones Yeah but you can't ship them

You can't be You can't be selling day old pretzels Yeah Yelp will be all over Oh I agree 100% Two day old pretzels You are a bizzo Yeah

That's a good idea in theory though I think That's a good way to diversify. Open up a France. See, are they franchising? So do us with a Philly Pretel company up here? Yeah. I'm surprised nobody has.

It's got to be one. They tried like the cheese steak places. They don't really last either. It's weird. You can't be selling dollar pretzels. I mean, but the pizza places do it. Franchising starts at 150,000? Yeah.

Or pretzels? Look, just give us 20 pretzels. $150,000, it starts there. It goes up, depending on the store type. It goes up. like 500 man i used to what store what's the 500 one is it like slides and shit in there uh i bet if you're in a higher market yeah probably size of the thing too store and yeah back to the drawing board i remember eating their hot dog pretzel like they're big that you know yeah i'd be i think i was

going to temple night classes in center city the burps on those things are man they they sit with you for about 48 hours oh they hold your hand like your grandmother talk about day olds dude It's like hospice. It's like hanging on. Brutal. This is an all-time pro move. This is from Antutti's bookie. Recent $10 sleeper sell recruit here.

Never had like that. Never have one read. Is it garbage to hold on to winning scratchers in case you get jammed up and need a quick five to 20 bucks? That's really smart. That is brilliant. Wow. I always go, let's lay it.

If you win 10, I go buy an extra 10. But I like this. Because you're not going to go and return. it unless you really need it so you're not going to blow it you're not going to speck if it was five and ten bucks is laying around that you could grab and go yeah that's really that's really that's like fucking that that that's like a 401k to me yeah that's oh shit 20 bucks oh here you got let me go pop across the street cash this you got 20 yeah that's great man that is like a that that's protecting you from yourself that's what that is

not bad right not bad Because you know it takes a lot to get my fat ass off the couch. Sure. Do I'm saying? You with me on this? I'm with you, big doubt. She, that's most 500 grand for fucking pretzels. Yeah, right.

All right, let's see. This is from the Jersey Bowl. A lot to unpack here. $10 hand job, never have one read. This is a three-parter. Wow, all right. Is it garbage if your stepmom was your neighbor growing up? Oh.

Okay. Listen in. I'm ready for part two. Hey, man. People fall in love. Is it more trashy if your dad and that whore got married on Halloween, which is my favorite holiday. This guy is holding the grudges.

I didn't know where he stood until just now. Is it even more trashy that I went as a drag queen? Wait. You're very upset. And I get that. I'm not here to tell you you can't be upset and call her whatever. words you want to call her that's respected that's that i don't know what happened i don't know what they're she stepped out yeah i you know whatever your family got fractured for whatever reasons you're not

happy about it i get that listen i hear this i hear a Halloween wedding is wild neighbor's stepmom getting married a Halloween that's freak i've never freaky dee i've never heard of if you're in the Halloween and you like dressing up doing the weird i'm with it i'm i get i've never heard of that a Halloween wedding where everybody dresses up. Jeresh. That's dirtbag level. And he stuck it to him. There's also just a guy in a mask. I'll just wear the like no real outfit. I'll just do the mask. Got the

screen mask on top of it. Well, my, I'm a guy getting back from work. That's who I am. It's about to be better hors d'oeuvres. Eat eyeballs and stuff. How do you feel? It's all spooky food. How do you feel about that stuff? Oh, fuck that. My buddy makes a meatloaf foot every year. That's in, I mean, what are we doing?

got kids he better have kids tell me he's got kids no that's fucked with onion toenails uh that would be your crew though that is your crew that's your squad dude your onion toenail crew that's who you are that's a weak crew nah it's delicious is his buddy at the table um i uh that's i like holland cupcakes with the orange icing But I don't get for all that other goofy shit I remember we had one at our elementary school Like a haunted house in the gym And I was part of it

They painted like walls Like fake walls were like cardboard How many kids did you scare? With painting I said a lot And I got big eye I had big bug eyes too back then And I was behind the painting With my eyes following the people

I mean these are like five six your eyes And I had a spotlight under my eyes Freaking I'm out I'm pretty good at myself How old were you? Eight, nine. Wait, why are you doing it to the little kids? I was working the goddamn program.

Oh, okay. Our teacher said, do you want to do it? You got big bug eyes. I said, listen here, bitch. Yeah, I'll do it. But then there was... Man, talking... They had the kitchen, too, like the kid, where they had spooky food.

And, man, those olive eyeballs, you had to, like, put your hand in there and, like, reach for something. I said, you're fucking out. You're... Gosh, darn mine. Two words. Kid cat. Please Yeah

I was like no fucking That means your teacher I thought you were weird looking Sure They weren't asking a good look Then you were as me to do that Mm-hmm Sure

Okay I didn't get picked for double there though Yeah why is that Because I wasn't Shit in your pants Sir Sir I'm pretty sure Some

I'm pretty sure some I'm sorry It's the ultimate insult Call a little kid, sir He walks up, there's a line of me He's got a clipboard Call it a little kid, sir Excuse me, sorry

He didn't make it And I'm pretty sure you shake yourself I'm pretty sure there's fecal matter In your underwear He's got the people set up No, they didn't pick me I didn't think I was good looking enough for TV Fucking bullshit Nickelodeon

Yeah, what did they ever go on to do Uh All right, we gotta wrap it up, holy shit Hey, my buddy Steve won the whole thing He's down here in Florida I'm sitting in the studio Your crew stinks Your crew absolutely stink

And you know it I'm sitting in the studio audience like the rest of the losers Fucking shit in my house gang do yourself a favor got some tickets for that philly show december 13th come out and see us at the metropolitan theater we love you to death and we'll see you next week please