Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Beer & Nachos w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. We're talking IPA's, Nachos and eating alone, it's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% Off Sitewide Mando: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code GARBAGE at shopmando.com Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it to be classy. After just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash.

I'm your host, Ais Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She's off to do a little volunteer work. Okay. Over at the day camp over there at the local high school. All right. I told you. Like, turning it around.

It's good for her. You know, confession, church. She's a therapist, exercising, eating right, trying to get back to the community. She's really, really, you know, making an effort. Circle in the wagons. Yes, she is. We love her for that. Sure.

My co-os is coming at you from across the table He is the CEO of Are You Garbage He is an international businessman He's also a dad What? A homeowner, a business owner A staple of the community The King of the Burbs, some call him I've seen you down there at Home Depot

They're probably throwing sausages at you from Rosco Shout out Rockas Rosco's chickening Somebody's got waffles on a brain I'll be uptown if you need me Give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody Okay shout out T as always Make sure you if you subscribe on iTunes

It's in L.A. Full video available on YouTube. Obviously, full video available over there on Spotify as well. Where are we at? Climing through the charts. On the goddamn charts over there. Like, actually on the charts, I'm not just talking about comedy podcasts. I'm talking about all podcasts in the regional United States.

In the tri-state area. With two fat idiots is host. And then obviously the greatest website of all time. I don't have to tell the over 15,000 Patreon members. homies. www. www. patreon.com. I'll show you garbage.

You go over there. Get all that bonus content. If you sign up on a $10 level, you get two episodes. We get an episode of a bonus episode of Hard Feelings. And then a episode of a bonus episode to AYG. And also, since we hit the $15,000, mono, e mono, me versfully, paintball extravaganza.

Finally. I got a feeling. I know how this is going to go. I know how it's going to go. Fuck it. I'm going to hit you. with a fucking five-gallon bucket of painting it because I ain't coming back baby

what do I mean you shoot yourself you're just in the top of the bell tower fucking blow your brains out yeah check it out suicide vest everybody you take us out in the fucking take us out in the gift shop I'm at this

hey you guys got to clean that shit up now fucking ruin my hot dog I assume there's some type a snack bar. I don't think they're making... They make the money on the paint and the diesels. I can smell the diesel now. Uh-huh.

Ain't have a diesel a long time, to be honest with you. Nice hot dogs. Sure. And then obviously, guys, we are gearing up for our fall and winter tour tickets on sale now at RUGarbage.com. Starts it... What's that? The fall in winter.

Okay. It starts out over there on a west coast. Isn't that crazy? Starting out on a west. Coast. Get the long ones out. That's going to be a long drive. Guess the man, I believe.

Better not being electric. Uh-huh. Yeah, what is it? Portland, Seattle. Sam, Fray. Two shows in SF. S-F is the cool guy. Say two shows in F.S.

And we're doing a bray improv. That's a big room. Is the Braya first? No, Bray is last. Bray is last. So we're going San Fran. San Fran, Portland, Seattle, back down the La La La Land. And then we're staying there for a little bit.

A couple days out there, dry out. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. I haven't told the wife yet. Really? What? She hasn't seen the house we got. I know that much.

Nice. A little place in the hills. I can fucking shut it down. This ain't some setup, is it? I'm not going to have a fucking happy horizons or something like that. You guys are walking to you. I mean, the goddamn palisades. They're taking my snickers bars away from me.

What the fuck? Ryan D. He's going to be right down the street in a hotel. I'd say you would have whack me, wouldn't you? What? Ryan D. Sure Italian

Mm-hmm I'm gonna do it Knows the guy I like that Yeah man It's gonna be fucking fun Yeah boys are back Vibes are high

We are cooking Fall and winter I love it A fucking big show in goddamn Philly Big show The Met The Met All well

Metropolitan Theater Yeah It's gonna be In the nice part of town too North Broad Street I carumba I used to I live Cecil B Moore

What's the name of that Cecil B more Cecil be more yeah Is a man or a woman? I think it was a dude. I always thought it was a woman, singer, jazz singer. See, Cecil B. Moore, I think it was a guy.

No kidding. I don't know. It's a dude. Yeah, held the first fish fry north of Spring Garden Street. First got to use catfish. Come get to fritters. I could go for a good one of that. What was Cecil B. Moore?

It's so funny because that's the main intersection of Temple's campus. That's the start of campus. Big civil rights guy. Okay. President of Philadelphia's NWACP. There you go. My man. Lawyer and, yeah.

Nice. Cool. See if the Barber's Hall is still there. Get eyes on that. You know, speaking of fish fry, when I go home, if we take a certain way when I'm going over to Queens. I live right by Queensbridge. Noz grew up.

Yeah, all right, tough guy. On the side, I don't roll through it, but on the side of that. Yeah. Take Friday and Saturday nights, everybody's out. there they're grilling they're cooking the whole nine yards nice man they got everybody able to roll hey what's up grab a scrap a guy you come real jive turkey you got hit me high you do all you do a lot of that shit hit me low oh too slow mommy got your nose i'm dribbling a basketball i'd just be cool to go hang out you're spinning it on your finger you guys do this uh what

barbers hall still banging yeah uh seems like it's they also have a new barbers hall is that might be what it's called. I'm an OG kind of guy. I ain't bringing this fucking one. No. Fucking cracker, cracker over here. Cozy venue is bar offering and comfort food.

There you go. They used to have like nickel wings or something. I get them to go. Throw down a five. Hit me a Honda. Creep out the back door. Yeah, man. It smells unbelievable as you drive by.

Wish I could go and hang out. Hey, what's going on? Introduce myself. I'm Henry. I live in the neighborhood. I do live in a neighborhood. Uh-huh, not there. You live in a different part of town there, tough guy.

Something cooking. I got a little say, happened to me this morning. Erectile dysfunction. Not uncommon for a man your age. Rock hard. Still waking up with stiffies? Yeah. Me too a little bit these days.

I don't we should get the gut. Call me in the morning time. Fuck a fish fry. Why's usually a pee boner? You get pee boners? No, I'm an asshole. Nobody gets pee boners? You don't get a pee boners?

Yeah, sure, from time to time, I guess. Time to time. I wake up with every morning, I have to pee. And then every time I pee, I get tired again, and I've got to go back to sleep for a little bit. That's a big, that's a long walk to the bathroom. But I try to hold it off for as long as I can. You know what I mean?

But sometimes it gets too much. And then it's such a pee-boner, you can't push it down to go tinkle. Then you peel over the seat. Now, I got a whole other bag of problem. You want to go to my fish fry. Yeah, right. What? Come on.

Go peeing on a seat there. No. He laughed out of town. No. I want to go, man. I took as a driving from the burbs to old city of New York to come film this program we recorded out of here. Broadcast out of New York City. And I stopped at, I'm a Starbucks man, large black coffee.

Sure. That I like it. Sure. Strong. Black coffee, dead is summer. He don't give his shit. Got it. You got it.

Hot and black. What are you talking? talking about cold brew you got a fucking chiller sitting right next to it's always black though oh yeah i'm doing hot i'm old school hot i'm like hot yeah but if i'm doing a coffee and it's hot it's black of course yeah but you're a cold trying to side a lot what are you talking about you're just like me what are you talking about i're giving him so much guff you like cold brews he's saying i'm a cool tough guy is yeah don't give him that yeah he think he's eating fucking crispy rice like you and me huh think

This guy I read a piece of Ceviche in his life. I did once. I didn't know what it was. I was at a wedding with my bra. I thought it was gum. I was a wedding in Spain. I spit that out in the garden, as they called it. I thought it was a gummy bear.

Hey, somebody forgot to cook the fish. Hey, did. I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought it was like a jello shot. They were, it was a cocktail hour. What? No, I didn't.

I thought I was getting fucked up. In Hawaii, I don't think I ever told you this. I had a, they, this place we went to had, um, oyster shots. So it was a raw oyster, some type of, some, some, some, a raw oyster. You got oysters? Speaking of the side of your mouth, like Patty, talking shit. Man, I'm such a dirt ball. Oyster.

Got oysters? What? Oyster. Shot glass. A little bit of like, I don't know, hot sauce, something like that with a quail egg on top. This should be annexed. No way. Doing that.

Talk about rolling the dice. Nah, it's too many. It's too many annie miles. Yeah, it's a lot going on. But I got to tell you, I stopped to grab a coffee. I picked up, I did the mobile order. I ordered ahead. Very sharp of you.

You're doing this in town? You're not doing mobile order on the turnpike, are you? One of the rest stops. No, I'm doing it before I get on a highway. Okay. Well, that's a mobile order going to Starbucks at the rest of it. We've done it. Yeah, I know.

But I mean, who's, I'm not getting on the highway to get a coffee. Okay, good. I'm old school. Once you're on a highway, you're on the fucking, I'm getting off to get a coffee. You take care of all the fucking housework, all the fucking admin, before you get on a highway. Listen, I couldn't agree more. It's crazy that you're asking me if I, if I wait to have my coffee at fucking Molly pitcher or whatever the fucking at the John Bon Jovi restop. And guitar center.

I grabbed the wrong coffee. really uh-huh and i don't know what it was but i drank the whole thing and it felt real weird what was it i don't know was there milk and sugar in it yeah no kidding it was real nice it was i felt like debby all day yeah yeah a nice hot coffee with a little cream and sugar it was like some a little steam little milk and like man i'd a little nip at you forget what's on the other side you'd like a cafe latte it was some sort of it was some sort of cafe latte yeah yeah coffee and a little hot milk, a little steam milk in there. You know, not frothed up, just, just hot.

It was no, whatever it was. Maybe a simple syrup, maybe a vanilla, maybe an almond. Be nice for you. Not too much. Lose your edge a little bit. What? Those fucking eyebrows could cut bread. Price.

It looks like my uncle Dan had to get taken off the beach. He was wearing black sweatpants and a black beach. Uncle Dan don't do the beach that much. I don't go, Dan. I love you. He don't listen. He's the one I was drunk and I was going around kissing everybody goodbye at the table. and I almost kissed my uncle, Ben, and he hit me with,

he tried to kiss me. The guy grabbed my cock. Next evening, you believe that? He don't do shorts, so he had on, like, warm-up pants, you know, like soccer coach. I'm aware. Psycho. On a beach? Come on a beach with a hot, wah-wah coffee and a black t-shirt.

He almost, he was. They had to get him in a tent. Going out like a man. He's down there in his shoes. Still sipping the coffee in the ambulance? Crank in Salem's. I think that's what he does No still

I don't think they make them Him and Aunt Soup Salem soft pack I assume I think I forgot what Aunt Soup used to do Hardcore My Mary Catherine was a Salem lady Softpack in a little Cigarette pouch

But I wanted to ask you this Ask me I got nothing but time here So the program I'm wary for a buddy these days You know what I mean Find a find a fucking Hit me up I'm right what if you don't call you don't you don't write you don't do nothing public enemy number one of you

what are you talking about i got nothing going on so i call my one boy ain't talked to him in a while man you know you're jammed up when you're when you're calling people i'm taking it every which way when the last thing you said was like merry christmas in like oh eight you checked the text i'm ready to turn to belarus for an ally an ally i'm jammed up uh uh um see i just the my word there i gotta get my brain looked at could have dementia okay stephen um so i call my boy and i'm like picks up hello gives me that i'm like like he's like okay yeah i'm like yo what's going on he's like who's this like what you got hit with a who's this he's fucking he he's backpedaling on me fucking acting like he don't know who i am i like this guy i'm like what the

fuck is this jimmy it's me henry everybody in my fucking like hates my guts I'm calling you I'm getting shit from you now he's like I didn't see the number I just picked it up and no one's just answering phones like that he's like that's my that's my I don't know who you are voice do you have an I don't know who you are voice if you ever pick up a number you don't know I'm not picking up numbers I don't know I know crazy I know you don't I what I would do because I do it all the time and then we got into thinking he's like I I just didn't, I didn't know who you were. He's like, that's my, I don't know who you are.

So you didn't have your numbers. I'm more stuck, you didn't have your numbers saved. I can't remember exactly that was. No, he has my number saved. He didn't look. No one doesn't just look at the phone and answer it. That guy ain't had your number. Or it came up, we decided to call him and ask him.

But he gave me the, I don't know who you are voice. It's you again with it. Yeah, obviously you're, it's like a little bit of like a, huh, what? Huh? What? What's this for? Because, you know. This is mine, ready? Hello? Hello?

Is Henry Foley there? Hello? Yeah, you keep getting calls for, like, payday loans that you keep answering and going, take me off your list, which to them, you're a positive outcome because you've answered the phone. So that's why they keep calling. You go, this guy at least picks up. One day, he's going to be in a fucking pickle and need three grand, and I'm going to come calling at the right day. And that day was yesterday. Shout out to the Native American pay loan.

But they told me, $45 grand, I could consolidate all my debt. 65% APR what's the big deal running per day big do big do 5 p.m. every day it's only 8.50 a day he said somebody over you never answer numbers you don't know no I don't dude how many times do you call me I don't answer number I don't answer numbers I know well aware I mean it would it would take a lot do everybody I'm a no call guy Luke don't call me. Big problem.

Luke's never called me. Really? Yeah. Yeah? If he calls me something bad's going down. Or it's just a lot of back and forth and I'm like, we're already texting? We're jammed up. Yeah.

Yes, we're jammed up, typically. And I'll just go, let me get on the phone so we don't have to go back and forth with the this or that. You know what I mean? Listen. We chit chat all the time. Henry calls all the time. I've heard. That's going into his new contract negotiations.

What do you mean? we're good buddies. So you do pick up numbers you don't know. Yeah. And do you have a different voice? Or is it, hi, this is Luke. What's up? Really?

What's up? I'm a different guy. You want to hear mine? Hello? She. Who the fuck? Hello? Hello?

Yo, what's up? I guess I just don't know what good is going to come from like. My anxiety, I want to know what are they calling for? Then I, then it's out in front. front of me you know what I mean sure is it is it I can I come from a very long line of I ain't here sure no 100 listen I am not gonna ever I get people I get portfolio recovery call on my phone every day they're never going to get me I just I want to know if they're looking they're going to get you and that's why dude you're a whale they're going to get you no I'm not talking about

that whatever you're talking about I oh or something like that or somebody's looking for me I never I the reason I get mad is because it's like hi this is is Kathy from the relief department we want to loan you and get fuck out of here thought you were fucking somebody actually looking for me because in the back of my head kind of want that okay i think you're looking come to my front door you know doors always open come get me uh-huh who's chasing on one two three main street who's looking yeah one four five bunker hill street stop by any time but don't but don't i'm freaking but that's my address yeah i don't know why i just want to see what's this okay fair enough but the the moral of the of the anecdote segment if

you will sure it's just i didn't i didn't hear about this in the production meeting you didn't pitch you didn't run this up the flagpole was everybody out there chime in do you have a different voice that you answer when you don't know the number i definitely have like uh for a long time i had and it was very garbage yeah oh i have like i used to have if i'm talking to the bank or if I'm talking to somebody in charge of me, like they're not in charge of me, but I've assigned them, I've bestowed them some sort of power and I need something from them. Like when I used to have to call to get my, uh, that's why I talk to you.

Hey, buddy. You losing weight? That's a new shirt. That mole's coming in real nice. Love the air on it. My grandmother had one of those God rest her soul Moll with a couple of

A couple of bushes grown out of it Yeah, sounds like an attractive lady Hey! She was beautiful in her day She's like a hundred years old when she had that Holy moly. Dementia had it bad I forgot to trim that mole hair

Which is fucking Is that mole hair? She had it, my dad had it The fuck, I'm not gonna have it You got it Sure You've got a touch of it. Yes.

Mm-hmm. The question is, when do I start leaning into it for my advantage? I'm surprised you have. You already kind of have started. When do I start pulling the Uncle June? Huh? Huh? What's today's days?

Start jerking off at work? I forgot. I didn't know. You know. Kempi, we got to talking about Shopify. Shout out to Shopify. Are we a Shopify family or not? You bet your bottom dollar, baby.

That's right. We use Shopify. We got a lot of movers and shakers out there. We got a lot of hustles. The guy's trying to do stuff online. Let me tell you something. Make that side project your main thing. Shopify can help you do that.

Number one, check out on the Internet. I mean, what are we doing here? They got it all. Collects the info, makes the checkout easy. Plus, don't they have something where, like, they leave the least amount of carts full? Listen, they got a lot of things that they do. Shopify's point-of-sale system is a unified command center for all your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across up to 1,000 locations.

This ain't, listen, if you're a small shop, they got you. If you're a big shop, they got you. Imagine me a house. A thousand locations? If you have up to 1,000 locations, they can manage all of that, yes. Damn. In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY businesses on Shopify POS, see real results, like a 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent of 8.9% uplift in sales average on relative to the market set.

surveyed. Think about that. Wow. Right? Listen, all that aside, numbers aside, stats, big words, jargon. We're a Shopify family. I'll pull it up right now. We're Shopify family gang. Do yourself a favor. Shopify. Get all the big stuff for your small business and Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash garbage. Go to Shopify.com slash garbage and start moving some merch today. Yeah. Kip, what do you know about Helix mattresses? I know they've been my favorite mattress for, I don't know, about the last four and a half years.

I know that much. They're not a new sponsor? No, they've been with us in Jump Street. That's right. They've been with us in Jump Street. I sleep on a helix. Kippy sleeps on a helix. Kippie's wife sleeps on a helix.

Luke sleeps on a helix. Everybody sleeps on a helix here at the RU Garbage Family. All right? I got Patty sleeping on one. When she's home. I know what I'm saying? Do yourself a favor. Go and get the last.

mattress go go start with the last mattress company you're ever going to deal with and that's helix you go online you take the quiz two three minutes bang find out how you sleep they pair you with the best mattress for you i'm telling you right now i didn't know i was i didn't know i was sleeping like a bozo until i got this is my first nice mattress my first adult purchase manager they were nice enough to send me one we liked it so much we upgraded so go to helixleksleck sleep dot com slash garbage you get 20% off site wide that's helix sleep dot com slash garbage for 20 percent off site wide one more time get a pen get a pencil you go climb to the top of the bell tower and yell it out helixleep dot com slash garbage do it ah i should come in here my pajamas a

couple of times i'd listen but what you do come in it is not far from the pajama you act like you're coming in a three piece suit here nice jeans not every okay not every day your sneakers on no socks though i was going to wear my flip flops and i found out they were upstairs Fuck him Might as well been in Fallujah Later Yeah, no way Yeah

All right All that's neither here nor there You're a family episode You're losing of your mental faculties You know we didn't do We didn't stop by the corner office Ah He's been yapping the whole time

Hasn't stopped him Sure How are you, kid? It's a hospice corner He thinks he's sick He thinks I got him sick There's been some tension in the air Is that right?

He's a little prickly The old Kipparino I'm still sick. I'm like, I'm texting. I'm like, you're fucking quiet in a group. I got a lot of shit going on. You're fucking, he ain't giving me nothing. Me? Both these.

Ryan D's on vacation for the 18th time. Well, I was trying to play ball with that 12 o'clock thing. What 12 o'clock thing? You said, you said 12 o'clock, and then he started asking buttons at 12 or in at 12. I wanted to stay out of it. Like, I didn't see anything because I was coming in a 12th. I was 15. So I didn't want to get caught up in that bullshit.

So I apologize. Hey, Kippie, I got your mocha chino. I know how you like it extra frothy, sure. Yeah, so I had to stay out of it. Every man for himself and that. But I like when there's tension and there's nothing to do with me. Yeah. Yeah.

There's no, he's just, he thinks I got him sick. Whatever. She got me sick. He acted like I were making out or something. He didn't have COVID. I didn't fucking touch this guy. He's saying he's got COVID. You had a little bit of sniffies on Friday or Thursday Friday.

Yeah. Then you got real sickie this weekend. Yeah. Lingering. man you got a fever i don't i don't know i i never doesn't you doesn't know they have a fever that's the dumbest thing i ever heard i never took my temperature i still know you have a fever i sweat out a bunch yeah you got that's what we call a bit oh we call a sweat through the bed sweat through the bed oh yeah he says correctly a blue magic

sweats through the bed called blue mac called bread magic i don't give a fuck jesus great all right we'll stay over there just put in a bag and call a dog shit for all i You haven't touched that coffee. I know. I'm spitting it. Backfired on them. Swap d'Arts. All right.

All that's either here. I've got a gosh darned family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you join the Army of Garbage over there on Patreon, over 15,000 strong. 2,000 strong shot to each and every one. Yes, we'll answer your garbage question on the air. This one is from Roli Polly Foley. That hurts.

That hurts. Kinnock, Buk. Homey, long time garbage. First-time garbage question. Is it garbage? To go through the self-checkout at a grocery tour because you don't want to be judged for what you're buying. Two bags of chips, ice cream, and a family pack of uncrustables when you're 36 years old.

I respect it. Sure. I got to be honest with you. I have exact that happened to me this weekend. I'm at my local grocer. I'm getting, you know, I'm loading up on Staples. Staples, I'm going to be as... For who?

For me and the broad. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Because you're, the baby's too young for you to acting like it's for the kids. You know that, right? It was just me. Put those Klondike bars back, Fatty. I was flying solo, dolo.

Really? Yeah. I got out of the house. God damn fucking. What do you mean? I went to the store by myself. Oh, of course. I thought you meant like she was away.

No, so it's like, I mean, like, I'm not, I can't. I'm not acting. Whatever. I'm buying. All right, listen. It's buying a lot of breakfast, me. Two dozen eggs. Because we just go through eggs.

I do I do three a day I don't miss breakfast It's okay Doing three a day Plus she'll do something You're looking at five a day Two days in You're out of you're out of a dog

Two days in five a day You got two left I got two left that's fucking dude I had one left the other day I almost cried I was so mad What do you do at one egg? That's what I got I dude I open it up

I go hard boil it and throw it in the yard I already had the pork roll going I got a rookie mistake I already had the pork roll going we get one sandwich out of it I mean what are we doing here whatever so let's got you down

big guys and you stink that's all fucking sitting in this house with one egg like a loser yikes bosa cracked that on your 40s meanwhile your friends are ignoring your calls and doing fake voices who the hell's this uh you're asking for 35 grand

for just five easy payments um sorry do you have one egg in the house So I'm buying a thing of pork roll And I buy a thing of I got a balance I can't do pork roll every day So I buy a thing of turkey Uh they Boershead pre-made turkey salt

Like they're patties turkey sausage Okay I'm gonna go one day pork roll One day turkey sauce One day pork one day on one day off What would you say for them one day for me What would you say the increase If I had a chart

A graph of me What would that look like for your intake of pork roll When I'm in the burbs versus... Over the last six months. Yeah, it's high. Yeah. Yeah. You can't get it in New York.

You got to cross the bridge. I don't want to tell you. Fuck, you got to go to Jersey. Get goddamn pork roll. Yeah. Back in baby's arms, huh? Do the little snips around it, too, so it don't bubble up. I do one big cut.

The Pac-Man, turn them into the Pac-Man's. Except you're the one eating, huh? Yeah, yeah, g-g-nam-in-in-a-ha. I'm the ghost coming in to get you. A couple said eyeballs. Coming in the red ghost. Um, so I got a pack of pork roll. All right.

You're screaming at me. Turn him down a little bit weird. I got a pack a pork roll. Still upset about that one end. Going out the cops outside, you're going to standoff in the grocery store. All I got was a pack of pork roll and a helicopter. Everybody walks out of here. Jesus Christ.

The hell was in that coffee this morning. And I got you another one. A non-sequential turkey sausage stat. I just want to talk to my kid. I just want to talk to my boy. Hey, buddy, it's me. I don't know where this all went wrong. Send the Borset driver in here.

I want a Borset truck. Stack to the gills. No cheese. All right. So you go to the grocery store. You're buying a... Listen, I'm here. You're buying a lot of breakfast meats.

I'm buying two things of breakfast meats. Two things eggs. Okay. I think that's oh any bread anything like that a roll of Philadelphia a thing of Philadelphia cream cheese

tub of Philadelphia cream cheese Who's that for? That's for the house She likes it I like it What do you put it on I thought you were off the carbs What

You asked a lot of fucking What are you putting it on What are you doing with that? I put a little of my hair After a long day of work Um Gets out the kinks He cares the split ends.

What do you do with the Philadelphia cream cheese? She likes it. What's she putting it on? A baguette, anything. She puts it on a lot of stuff. You want to know what I do? Yeah, I want to know what you do. I'd like to know.

I think the people out there, I think we deserve an answer. She buys that German fit. It's called fitness bread. I know it well. She buys that. You toast that shit up? I don't toast it.

What? You're eating that real raw dog in that? That's like wet. Ew. I like a soggy bottom. Are you kidding me? Oh, that's gross, man. That shit's like smushed in there. It's nice.

You've got to put that in the freezer afterwards, too. Hey, you don't. That's crazy. Listen. You're not toasting that? I don't think, no. I don't think it's supposed to be toasted. Yeah, you give that two runs in the toaster, it comes out.

That's wild. That's wild. Real good. I like it. I like the keeps me regular. Um For where I'm sitting It gets a bit of a freak

I take that Yeah Well a light smear of the The cream cheese Uh huh Uh Two uh two Two slices of pork roll

And then my eggies over top of that Oh that's what you do That's what I do Oh that's not bad Okay That's my carbs for the day For the most part Well I would say

My bread for the day I would say there's no shame In that order By any stretch of the imagination You go into the self-checkout I didn't go to the self-checkout. I went to the fucking... They probably thought you were a muscle guy.

Would you just start working out? That's a lot of protein. Guy hit me with... Someone really likes breakfast, huh? Someone really likes breakfast, huh? Dude, I almost slapped the shit out of this fucking guy. Someone... In front of this hot mom who was behind me.

You want in shumackies, do you? Yeah. You like your scramies? Oh, a little kippy like his... I didn't know what... I wanted to call the manager and say, you let your guys talk to people like this. Say, yeah, I like fucking breakfast.

Yeah. I got two kids at home. Wanted any candy eggs. Strictly milked. Man. Someone really, I wanted to go. Bitched you out. Is that what you're saying to people?

Huh? Every day. Someone buys cucumbers. I just got you're a bit of a freak. You know, yeah. Somebody likes this up there, is. Someone's doing a freak body. Got me dead to rights.

Yeah. I was shocked Whoa I wouldn't stand for it Man you get bitched out Hey for the king of the burbs A lot of people taking shots of you Yeah

I mean listen there was something wrong with them I didn't want to you know I I don't want to stay in my ground Why'd you respond I'm having people over Actually a family in town I just said yeah man

Yeah that's right dickhead Uh huh What's the cream cheese for? What? However, accrustables, the chips, all that stuff. I don't think anybody thinks it's for you, especially at 36. They're going to assume you're buying that for kids. Maybe.

But still, just so he knows, you don't got to have any qualms about that. You go to the, that's what the self-checkout is for, for everybody to mind their own fucking business. Don't worry about what I'm getting. To avoid that. Because imagine if he was going through there with the encrustables and the fucking chips. So it was a pedophile, huh? You know what? great

yeah you don't need that shit so I'm with it you go to the self-checkout hopefully you don't need them to call you over you need to call anybody over for anything for the key yikes I need an override May Day

oh god great question yeah alright let's see here this one's from Cosmic King $10 coal's cash investor never have one red how we doing How far is too far to walk with an untied shoe that's a great

question that is a great i don't like my i don't like it touching stuff so like the second i see it but it also depends i'm slimming down a little bit uh it depends when i was bigger i don't it depends on what kind of jeans i had on what kind of shirt combo i'd have to might have have to get my foot up on something so i you know the closest fire hydrant step curb something tire but as soon as possible i don't like that dragon man nothing was worse than like a wet shoe lay yeah that's the uh i don't really like it either or prefer it but that's a do or die situation i'm out in the streets are you a tough guy i'm saying if i'm out in the streets and my shoelace comes untied i need specific parameters to be able to tie that shoe i need some type of balance

I need something high Something high Fire hydrant sometimes a little too high Then you can Fire hydra isn't that high And you can slip off of it Then you're looking at a fall And then with the untied shoelace

You're looking at twisting the ankle rolling the ankle Then you're falling into the street Maybe in a puddle Or getting squashed by a dump truck Or something like that Which fingers crossed We don't want that I would probably

What's the longest? Couple miles Yeah I let it go I let it go That's it You can listen You fucked up You came untied

All right When we left you were tied Everybody keep their shit together And we're not going to have a problem You're the one that fucked up Not me That's on the shoelace I'm not bending down to tie you

Yeah but there's something About an adult With an untied shoe that you're like Yeah Sam Rubinoff Our buddy and opener Habitual untied shoe guy And you're like

He makes it work though He does It's part of his, It's part of his... Excentric genius. Yeah, frantic kind of mumbling guy. Yeah. But...

It's like seeing Einstein with like a stain on his shirt. Yeah, like a stack of papers. Yeah, I mean. But yeah, I mean, like, at some point you go, like, what is it going? You got to, you got to... I've had a bad set of laces where you're like,

this left shoe just won't stay tied. Remember the ones that they gave you on... You'd get them with boots sometimes. They were more round. It was like tying licorice. Yeah, they wouldn't. It's fueling the knot when you made it. You go, that didn't bite.

This thing ain't holding. That got no teeth in it. Yeah, fuck that. Uh-huh. Yeah. Listen, I know that's a bad look. A fat guy walking down the street with one untied shoe legs. But it's also a bad look, you know, people watching a fat guy trying to tie his shoes.

Trying to tie his shoe. Sure. You're damned if you do. You're damned if you don't. Yeah. Tough life. I get old people going, I can hardly bend over, too. You fucking bitch.

And I'm 98 years old. Yeah. I say a. mile that's i mean one mile easy one mile 20 minutes you're going oh easy that's all that is 20 minutes four miles i'm not tying it till i get home or i can take or i'm at a spot where i can take my shoe off tie it and then put it back on that's what i prefer like a lady okay fair enough yeah you asked yeah um four miles 100 miles uh this is another fat guy this is from Chad, $10 Stogie.

Is it garbage wear a big enough belt buckle on suit pants to cover up the fact that they don't actually button, buddy. That is a fat kid move right there. Love that. Never. I mean, most of my dress pants and or khakis, which were dress pants, never closed.

I would go on job interviews. I had this big, I think I got it at Express when I was, you know, in college. And a big square black belt buckle. Saved your life. Not too big, and it was all black, so, like, you couldn't see it. Like, it just, but I mean, covered enough real estate for a bad zipper, a bad button, a bad clip. Did me.

Oh, wonders. Walking around, Santa's the belt. Oh. Hoze, hose, hoes. Hello. That doesn't work for me. Why? If it don't button, I'm fucked.

They slide down anyway. Yeah, you got no ass. And the zipper starts coming off. Uh-huh. Had a situation, I think. That's tall. Bad zipper is tough. Tough, too. Sunday or Saturday or Friday where...

One day. I can't remember one day this weekend. You know those thin polo shorts I have? They're dress pants or polo. Polo brand, not polo style. Polo brand. What are polo style shorts? No, polo brand.

You said polo style. I don't know. I just want you. I just went, you know, I got a little gage. DXL. They're old as shit. They're really thin. Listen, money bags.

No one thinks you're like, you're not, you're not separating yourself from the common man because you have an old pair of polo shorts from the big and tall store okay fucking dad hey guys daddy war bucks over here i didn't get him at the big and tall store where'd you get tall and big big and big big biger that should be in that damn it why doesn't anybody have that big and big and bigger why don't i use that my big and tall joke i'm at the big and bigger fuck get those cameras big and big ist now you pushed it anyway pop the button Bing? Yeah

Not popped it I ripped it I'd rather not get into details But I ripped the button Uh huh Button ripped off I was tying it After I peed it

I ripped it You were tying it after you What are you tying it together Button in it Okay The button fell off And man I was fucking

Where were you It was getting in an Uber Yeah To go home I had to go home Ah shut it down Buddy It's like one flip step

In dog shit Yeah you got your phone, your wallet in there, that shit's heavy your shit. I know. I'm fucking holding it up, walking down the hallway, doing a little fucking crab walk trying to get in the house. That's the... God damn button ripped off.

The tough look. Yeah. I've had tougher. My shoe was untied. Kip, I got to talk to you about Mando. Shout out that at Mando. Have I been kicking a little bit? Not. I should. You have not. Because I'm at that age. I'm at that, you know, like

the way I'm eating, if I don't use man, though, it's like coming to my pores. Yeah. But the mando's fantastic. I know. I get it in all the little nooks and crannies in the crevices. I even put a little bit behind my ears. And it keeps me fresh all day long.

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You've got to look presentable. Yeah. Do yourself a favor. You want to feel fresh all day? Let's say you just got to drive to work or walk to work or take the bus to work or whatever. When you get there, it gets put. They're a little musty. Sometimes you've got an hour commute.

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Protect your pants from start smelling great. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online go pass ahead of the show at go-transit.com slash tickets. All right, let's see. This one's from all the toast. Is it garbage to go to a restaurant, sit at the bar, place a takeout order,

and see how many pops you can get in before the order is ready. That's a way to do. I can't believe I've never done that. Really? I've never gone in and ordered takeout. I've always been like on my way home and been like, ah, call ahead. At least get that five, ten minutes in. Yeah.

So I'm not sitting around like a shot. schmuck that's brilliant that's living guys guys are living i would never have the i would never think to do that always be rushing around whatever yeah i love that i was in a situation that's nothing but time i was waiting for a couple of people for at dinner not that long ago i got there early i'm standing outside like a jerk off show that you are yes i look inside perfectly good bar sitting there i'm like i should go in and sit at the bar and have a drink and wait for them like a gentleman yeah why didn't you i didn't that's always that's like i i don't that's like i Want them to be late or me to be 15 minutes early, go in there, get a cocktail, get a lay to land.

Oh, no, hey, this, that I don't like go. I don't like entering a vibe that's already been vibing. You come to me. Let me get in there. Hey, this is, Johnny, here you go, you grease him real quick. Bada Bing, Bada boom. You're fucking Johnny cool guy. That's how Kippie stays cool.

Take it for me. I'm cool, Kippy. Yeah, I just didn't have the. That's wild to me. Wasn't relaxed enough to do it. That'd be, so you're staying on the corner? like a fucking like you're selling dine bags that's crazy now you go in you get a listen we move through this world a lot together we're fucking besties we're a lock

step 90% of the time 10% of time you're fucking bonko i was meeting people i didn't know all the more reason to take the freaking edge yeah well and also dude what energy do you want i'm the guy at the bar shooting shit with the bartender who the guy fucking cranking heaters out front like the feds are stormed wasn't it Smoking. Just saying, that's smoker vibes. Yeah. That's wild that you would choose to do that.

I'm a big bar guy. Love the bar. But this idea, great. That's like, man, I got two to three hours. The problem with me is if I'm having a couple of beers, it's a wash. Then, like, I can't do nothing. Some guys can have a couple of beers and then, like, I'm going to, it's five o'clock. I'm like, I got to take a nap or I got to turn this thing on.

Keep drinking. Yeah, so it's like, I've never been like the one. I wish I could. I'd be having a beer right now and just, you know, I can go on my day, but I'm not that. I get. Just chill. I wish a couple of beers did it for me. Believe me, I wish.

I know. A couple of beers and a salad did it for me. But it don't. Buddy, we are far from that. It don't, okay? It's just the way it is. Uh-huh. It don't.

We're just getting, you're opening up the Bombay doors. I'll either fucking turn your key Drop the bombs What the fuck we're doing here Let's pack our bags and go home boys Yeah War's over No, I agree

It is what it is But I like that That is a gentleman But this You're having a couple of pops Takeout's gonna come You're gonna go home You're gonna feed the family

Probably knocking it off You know what I mean You're sitting on the couch You're watching the movie Can I ask you're chilling out Why not just do it there Do what there? Why not just eat there

That to me I'd go Let's go sit at the bar What are you mean You love sitting at the bar I live sitting at the bar. Yeah, so why did you give me that look like? But he's getting, I assume he's getting takeout for the family. I'll go pick up.

You guys? I don't think. I didn't, I didn't interpret that at all. You know, that'd be a good place to do that? The old scoogies. Sure. Oh, they got a nice bar over there. Get in there.

Oh, nice and separate, nice and cool. Probably nice Saturday. Fucking Notre Dame games on, Penn State, whatever. Wait till you get there. What do you guys want? I'm picking up dinner. Scoojis. Sit there.

A couple of fucking low and brown. does feel a little alcoholicy though too because you're like I'm popping in the kids are at home it feels sneaky that way to me what who who who who said that what what yep excuse me it feels like not you I'm just saying it feel like I don't let's let's I don't know yeah yeah yeah I don't know let's all go I go have drinks go get fucked up mom's driving home saying alcoholic he's talking that you bringing up old shit sure the fuck at it Hey, we're having mixed drinks Talking about beers

I'm just saying Listen, I like to have drinks And fully enjoy it I don't want to have one or two And then have to drive I will go If I'm drinking I'm going to dinner

And getting fucked up Now that's alcohol Hey, hey and God What are we doing here? You know what I mean? You don't like the sneaky? They like the sneaky Sneaking

No, I don't like Yeah, now I don't Listen, nobody I come from, nobody sneaks drinks in my, if you're drinking, it's why the fuck didn't you let me know we're drinking? That's where I coming from. No one's ever been like, he's having beer. That's not a, so there's no need to hide it.

Growing up, everybody, most people drink every day. Glass of an icy wine, you know, a couple of beers, happy hour. Yeah. But, so there was never any need to hide it, which I, so that's like the, that's what I don't get. But, hey, to each of their own. I'm down with the idea. I love it. I love it.

That's great. Order when you get there, too, give yourself a little time. That's what he said. Oh, is it order when you get there? Yeah, you sit, order, order. I went, but then. That's living. I love it.

That's classy. I'm just going. I'm sitting and relaxing. I'd have it there, though. Get the meal there. He's got the kids at home. We don't know that. You're assuming that.

Hmm. That's all I'm saying. I need more information. Sure. Because as much as I. To admit it. Yeah. If you're solo, sit and you at the bar.

I never know what's going to happen. Love it. Me too. There should be a bar. It's a restaurant that's just the bar. It's a bunch of different bars. Eat at the bar. That's pretty good.

Just eat at the bar. Yeah. Eat at the bar. Nice. One or two other people or by yourself. Yeah. Dude, that was one of my favorite things. And I used to have to Airbnb my apartment out.

There's something mysterious. about the guy eating at the bar by himself, too. Everybody's like, who's this guy? He's either fucking doing well. I can go out and spend fucking whatever, or I'm doing bad. Either way, you don't know. Either way, you don't know.

And I'm fine with that because I was always doing bad. I had just rented my Airbnb. I just rented my apartment out on Airbnb to make money, and I'd go sleep at my buddy's house in the Bronx. And I would fucking, I'd go get a huge, I'd go to this place called Buda bar on a, what's it called Buddha? I think it was called Buda bar on.

fucking Broadway all the way up in the heights across from locksmith great burger till it'll turn into a nightclub I ain't walking there Locksmith or the Buddha bar Locksmith Locksmith was a bar Locksmith was a small burger bar

They were great And then they kept They started getting good They started buying up next door next door next door next door And now it's like It's like a fucking nightclub I went in there one night I was like fucking

You know With your newspaper and your reading glasses Trying to have a quiet dinner Looking for a quiet burger bar But it's always You go to your You go to a nice bar, nice bar and restaurant earlier. You know what I mean?

You're starting to get going. There's always like a middle-aged guy. It was me. Sitting at the bar, which I'm a middle-aged guy. I'm older than- Give me technical middle-age. I mean, a guy that I would, my age. Like a 49, 50-year-old successful guy.

Person about 45 to 65. There you go, middle-aged. No shit. You're middle-aged. Man. How can I look at other people like they're older, though? Because you're very immature and you were arrested development and I would say probably nine years old. And you then, you were telling a story.

You were telling a story before this where you were referred to a guy as the dad. No, you did. But you said, yes, the dad. Yeah. He's only 10 years older than me. You were explaining him like dad vibe. You're both middle-aged guys and you referred to him as the dad. Yeah.

So anyway, a guy my age. but better sitting at a sitting at a bar having like a full meat like a like a dinner like the order in the pork chops you got balls you order in the pork i told you i see that in the burbs i love it love it but i would go to i'd go to budd i'd order a fucking huge they had nachos this fucking high is the a mountain of nachos and i just gotten into loganitas and this is completely different by the way why you're sitting there with a fucking goose island and a fucking loganita played a trash can nachos dirt bag dude Well, I was so broke

I think I've ever seen you eat nacho I was so broke There's nothing bad That was like the height of being adult And having money to me What? Not choos and not chosen Notches and IPA Yeah, 100%

Dude that was like I could sit here for hours Well this is Drinking an IPA Screaming Not that pills or shit Not that swill you're drinking So what happened was

I'll be fucked up in two minutes I'd be jammed up on So I would Airbnb in my apartment out on the weekends to cover rent And I'd go stay at my buddy's place Right But he wouldn't be back from work until like seven or eight Check in would be like three or four So these people would come stay at Casa de Kippee

Come to Casa de Kippey check in at three or four I'd have my lug my bag for the weekend Oh they think you're traveling somewhere Where are you off to this weekend? The Heights We're in the Heights I was going to the Bronx yeah my boy was living in the Bronx Oh yeah oh my God

right over the one train i remember picking you up up there probably yeah dropping me off by the on ramp it was like he lived he lived right right by the highway right by the what is that 87 or whatever luke you've never seen trash on the sidewalks like this this was bad it is a bad is it not a great part of town was budabar by 180 fourth street no okay uh wasn't the village no it would have been like by 190 or something. Okay. Um, 191,

192. On Broadway. It's across from locksmith. Either way, we're getting bogged in a game. I told you about a club. It's a club now. Okay.

Um, yeah. So the second day checked in, I would get paid. Oh shit. I would get the whole check at 3 p.m. In your account? In my account or in my PayPal,

which I take the fucking 3% automatic transfer. I'm rich. Of course. I'm rich. I mean, I think I was renting out for like $80 a night, maybe $90 something on the weekend. Keep it under, keep it under $100 because that's how people would sort. You know what I mean? I'm a marketing genius back then, too.

Under nine, I keep it like $99 on the weekends. I would get, so they check in like Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's $400, $400 I'm getting, however long this day is. In my account, Bing, pal, right away. So now I'm at Budab. I'll take those nachos now 300 bucks Can't tell me shit

Wait I got three four hours A lot IPAs and nachos I got three four hours to kill Before my boy gets off work He's a roller bag before your flight To the Caribbean is where you're going Yeah and I would also just tell Sometimes he'd hit me up yo I'm done

I'm at like head up and I'd go I'm at Buda with my fucking nose wide open Come down come on down We'd get all fucked up at Buddha Yeah it was great Heading to the islands for the weekend Woo, the Bronx. Would you wear, like, vacation-type clothes?

No, I wouldn't. I think I would tell them. I think I would lie and say I'm staying with my girlfriend. You had a girlfriend at the time. I did, I did have a girlfriend at the time. You did have a girlfriend at the time? Yeah, my wife. She lived in Germany.

She lived in Germany. Right. Well, that was... Was that the girlfriend you were saying? I wasn't specific. Okay. She lives downtown. She lives downtown.

I'm going to stay with my girlfriend lives in the neighborhood. So I'll be around if you need me. To who? To the people stay in there. Oh, I thought you meant to the fucking... The bartender? No, but I talked to the bartender. I remember his one bra was hit.

It was all over me. He was a singer. Invited me to do her to show. You suckers. Probably fucking bringer. She need bodies. She didn't want your jalapeno breath. I didn't.

I do the nachos with no hollas. Too spicy. I'm not a grown-up. Put the icky green things on the side. Uh, no, thank you. I'm flicking them. I don't like pickles. I eat pickles make my mouth hurt.

Like, Ralphick, them. These pickles are spicy. Hey, steak. Mild salsa. I remember genuinely being like, I am a grown-up. IPAs. Conducting business. And I would just go.

and get like you're a landlord at that point you're a fucking sure sure man yeah how many times did five story walk up did you did you ever cross the line of your profit margin for like what you needed for the rent as far as what you spent on the nachos in the uh no no no i mean i just always i only did it for a cut i would do it for probably 400 bucks it would be like a four day stay i wasn't doing it for 180 bucks i'm big on that i'll do something to save the day and then blow it right there sure man fucking stupid. I mean, yeah, I still do that of like, we, you know, we go do something where it makes, I go make this much. And I'm like, well, that was fucking, I didn't need to, I didn't need to just

do that. No, of course not. No need to get in the detail. Sure, sure, sure. I mean, we do it as a business all the time. All the time we do it as a business. The fact that we've stayed in business, I think is a, with how poorly decisions we've made on spending money, to do stuff, I think, is a testament since 2020. To how... I don't always need the waggoo. Yeah, this fucking guy.

I don't. I think you pick up a check every once in a lot. I know, right? Fucking Daddy Warbuck's over there. Don't see him eating nachos. Airbnb in his place out. Never. You kidding me?

That's the height of wealth, though. What? Notches and IPA. I was probably... On a Saturday. Thursday. I mean, I was probably 27, 28. It was probably 10 years ago.

Chatting up the bartender, huh? Nah, what else am I going to talk to? I got nothing but time. No, were you telling her that you were seeing your girlfriend or do you make up a better lie? The hot bartender, that was the singer. I can't tell her I'm in town. She did ask why I had luggage. Some of my place is being fumigated.

Is that what you're saying? Oh, fucking idiot. I got bedbugs. Can you stay here, please? No, but I just remember Because, like, we could never You know, it could work I just got kicked out

Yeah What time do you get done? I'll hang out I gotta change your clothes I'm brushing my teeth in the bathing You got the bag on the board Switching into your happy hour gear To eat

To drink at a place That we didn't have an in at Was, you know, know, pretty big. But then to sit at a bar and order a whatever, you know. With an open tab. Yeah, leave it open. But you don't know how that's really going to work out.

I did have confidence that in that, until that next banking day, I was pretty flush because that PayPal automatic transfer just hit. So I would know that's in there. I got three four I can get myself out of this pinch and also worst case scenario I got my boidic guy you know come get me out of a pinch

true yeah a little bit candy sure oh man the good old days yeah uh height of wealth huh

what hide a wealth fucking scum I still I still feel there's a thing about like this is going to take time right i'm not here for just a burger and i could be here for two three hours and i don't know how much i don't know how many beers this is going to take i don't know who i'm going to bump into i don't

know if this bartender's really a singer or not you know what i mean i don't know if my boys your whole day's in front of you i got it's it's question mark the possibilities of new york city yeah are at your fingertips and that's you know could go one way could go the other might just be nachos and beers i remember being so full and so sick sick, though. There was so many nachos, dude. Being so full and them heavy-ass beers. Burping and stuff.

That kind of limits. I can't really make out with him. I wasn't trying to make out with her. She was trying to get me to come to her show. Bring her. Was it that night? No. You're in there with your luggage.

I think I'm going to close. I know the singer. Stink. Ah. Shout out to him, though. Shout out. This is, uh, from. Poohy Chris, $10 homie, not showing off or nothing, never have one read.

Is it trashy to have your appliances, i.e. the toaster, air fryer, etc., permanently on the counter. That's all I know. Yes, air fryer, of course. That's totally okay. I think toaster, putting anything away is crazy to me. Like, the toaster toaster? That stays on the counter. Everything stays on that.

We never, growing up, we never put, unless you was like, something that you use once ever, the blender. maybe went under the blender went under unless it was fucking backery hour. The blender and the thing that my mom would cook pancakes on, which she had like a hot plate. The griddle. Yes. It was a plug-in big griddle. Yeah, that got put away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With the cookie sheets. I think the height of wealth would be to have a hot griddle like they have at a deli at all times. Yeah. Just go crack some scrambies, throwing some pork roll. A lot of the things now they do have that in the middle. I know, but I want it hot all time. That takes a while to hear. heat up. You're better off just doing a pan

then it's not fun. I want to act like I'm fucking, you know. You want to clean it with that big thing at the end of the night? I don't want to do that. With vinegar on there. I still love doing that. Been hitting it with ice. Oh, it's great. But yeah, that's what, uh, you don't put the I don't put anything away. You don't move the

toaster. You move the toaster. All the crumbs are getting everywhere. Then you're putting crumbs in the fucking cabinet. It's how to mice get you. It's how the mice get you. Uh, yeah, I don't. That's crazy. We don't. My comfort family, we never put any of that away. All that was out air fryer for sure leave out toaster for sure leave out toaster oven 100% leave it out we were only a toaster oven family you want to keep that fucking if you got one of those

kitchen aid things to look sharp leave that out too yeah looks like you got a little bit of cash yeah the mixing bowl yeah uh yeah everything for everything for us today yeah I'm out we're an out household baby we're out of the closet and we're loving every my mom plugs everything. Sure. I mean, yeah. Plugs the toaster. Drives me nuts.

Getting in there, fucking try to drop some fucking toasties. What I say? First five, this fucking thing ain't working. Plug it in! Fuck, you didn't say something. Good thing that butter is right there. It would be a fucking problem. Speaking of butter, this is from

great name, the turdinator. Classier Trashy, when buttering corn on the cob, my family heavily butteres a hot dog bun, and spins the corn in the bun to cover the whole thing. It's very efficient, but it's communal, so it's a little gross. But if you're not biting it. Yeah, it doesn't matter yet. But I guess if everybody's holding a lot of hands in and a rye,

I could maybe see that, but I think you're splitting hairs. And also, at any time I'm eating corn on the cob, I'm having some beers. So at that point, I don't care about the germs. Usually you could take a whole stick of butter and you could just roll the corn on the cob on top. And that, like, it gets a groove in there. we never did that i also saw uh you take the stick of butter and you hold it like a pencil

kind of and you go up and down on that i like the uh i like the hot dog bun though yeah it's pretty good we were always just like a pat of butter and then like you know just kind of make it work we never had any fucking sweet tricks i remember we got those fucking corner of cob johns man i thought i was living in the future fucking jabbed those they were sharp as shit you know i called my wife doing the other day she's what she's been big on corner of on the cop for some reason it's summertime she's in the suburbs she knows what's up i know i get it she loves fresh fruit fresh vegetables what are you marrying us brood no but i know she appreciates that kind of

stuff she likes in-season stuff farmers much classy broad sure um not i mean so i don't even know where we got these things they must have been a gift or she buys shit at fucking amazon no what's the place with all the trash target home good no home goods target's a fine establishment you know what you're getting home goods love the toy section at Target. It's the only one that really keeps up. Sure. Honestly.

They got a good baby section, too. They got everything. Because all those baby stores close, like all the big boxes. They got a nice, everything you need is there. They got it, but they got the good brands, the bad brand. They got it all caught. They got you soup to nuts. It's the only reason I go there.

She got like a cheese board. It would be like what you put on a charcutory board, but their utensils for cheese there's like a little cheese knife there's like a wedge yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's fucking hoity tooty shit to me i didn't know what it was until she made a you're eating cereal with it well she uses the prong for she uses like those things to eat the corn oh it's not they're not corn on the cob things no they're to cut cheese and like you know it's wacky i know she's cookie but ducy she is a very um What do you don't? Boiling the corn?

She boils the corn. Yeah, it's good. You need you to eat raw. What am I, I, Iroquois? Who's doing that? That's wild. Fucking, I got bad teeth as it is. I got bad teeth.

No-uh. Yeah. I just felt a crack in the one. Yeah, it's up top. That's good. You should get that checked out, though. I know. You got dental.

No, I don't. I know. Right. All right, we got to wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. Yes. We'll see you next week. Peace.

Woo.