Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Beers To Go! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: ZocDoc: https://zocdoc.com/GARBAGE Promo Code: GARBAGE Ultra: Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code GARBAGE at https://takeultra.com! Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/li0uni5h Promo Code: CASHAPP10 Chubbies: Your new wardrobe awaits! Get $20 off @chubbies with the code garbage at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Promo Code: GARBAGE Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now,

we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonial Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, all tickets available at RUGarbage.com. If you got a garbage question, come out and see the boy. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.

Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians. find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah.

I get the big old piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, Daveyfully, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She's upstairs cooking up a little squirrel meat. Okay. It's in season. So I hear.

The neighbors gets it. It's not from around the area. From the butcher. Get it in the woods. Are you going to have some? Probably not. What? She's going to be upset.

Okay. This is a long toad. No one of squirrel meat. No. It's a no on the squirrel meat. And I'm going to pass on this toadie. Take it from the top. What?

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite TV. This is all in there, right? What the fuck? I feel like I'm having a fucking stroke.

Gang, this is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. Mike Co is coming from across the table. CEO of RU Garbage. Contractually obligated. International businessman. A lot of Lulu lemon on this kid.

That's what I've been here. hearing. I've been hearing a lot of talk. You got a lot of Lulul. You're a $60 socks on. They're not $60. Let me get one. Kevin Ryan, everybody. Look at you. Luke was making fun of them calling them. First of all, shout out to everybody. Thanks for tuning. Shows a Lulu, Levin. Shout to the good folks over there. All right, girls. Thanks to tune in as always. Make sure you rate view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are on Spotify. No, we're in the charts, dog.

We're talking about. Man, you're hanging on to that. I'm the barometer or that. I check that every day. First of all, you're not the barometer as shit, okay? Hey, I'm the barometer as shit. Yeah, fucking... Give you the real feel.

Then obviously check out the gosh darned comedy special over there on YouTube. American Garbage. Numbers are through the roof, baby. Over a half a mill in the first week, the boys are locked and looted. Shout out to the Army of Garbage for supporting. Truly awesome to see the response of America. Everybody, the DMs, the shares, the fucking emails, everything. Some guy knocked on my door told me how good it was.

Is that true? I apologize for that. Yeah, shout out to you. And also, as far as the socks go, I was in there with my wife was buying workout gear or something, whatever. There's broads by there. And I went, I said, you know what? I'm going to take a gander over there. There's men's clothing there.

Men as women. You think I'm wearing fucking broad socks right now? Yeah, I do. No. I would wear broad socks as they're. comfortable. No, these are men socks. Huh. Well, they're weird looking. Yeah, they're like they really... Let me see those again. There's like

an arch in the bottom. What's up with that? They're great, dude. Let me... Do me a favor. Look, there's an R and an L. They're like shoes. Who's R and an L? Like left and right. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I just realized they're on the wrong feet. That's expensive.

Who's this LR fella? That's why I keep falling down a hallway. God damn. I wanted to ask you that, where the calf is. I'm up there. There's a mark in there. Oh, yeah.

You're pinching. Listen, I'm not this kind of guy socks. No. But I was in there. Yeah. So my wife was buying like I think like a jacket or something like that. Jacket. Not like a jacket.

Like a zip up or something. I don't know what they really sell there. I thought they saw those hot pants. It's all work out. They've got everything. They got everything. They sell everything. And I got bad socks.

And I'm a big guy. I've been on my feet. live a life we're on our feet a lot. I mean, I'm sitting on my fat ass right now. But I mean, we travel a lot. I'm out running around. I mean, you know, it's, don't try to downplay it. You complain about your feet all the time. I got bad, I've always had bad feet. If you remember the ice socks from a couple of years ago? Ice socks. Yeah, I got them socks with the ice packs on it. You've had ugly feet. I got bad. Listen, hand up, I got bad feet. Gross feet. Gross feet. I got gross feet too. Yeah. Bad feet. Um, runs in a family. I think my arch is starting to get

blown. I've been a fat, I've been fat for 40 years. Blowing out your arch. Blowing out my arches, baby. I think, I don't, I got bad. What does it mean? They're starting to flatten? A little bit. Really? All that weight. I think. Ooh, like tower two coming down. The problem, building seven, didn't we pull it? The problem is, for so many years, I ran bad shoes. Sure. I'd wear the shit out of my shoes. They flatten out. We're running around the city for fucking a decade. You'd leave the house at fucking 6 a.m. you get home at midnight. I'm on my, I'm on my dogs all day

and a pair of fucking 18-month-old Nikes that are blown the fuck out that I got for my brother-in-law and they didn't fit. Slip them off while you're sitting on the couch. Yeah, so I was like, you know what, maybe these will help my feet a little bit. And they're expensive. They're not $60. They might be like $40 a pack

but for like five pairs or something like that. It's just throwing you under the bus. Yeah, what the fuck? I mean, I'm getting it from every fucking angle. Good job, Luke. Okay. All right. No. No, yeah. We'll See. We'll see. We'll see. I'm a big sock guy too. I like it. But yeah, and I, I, Luke, I saw Luke looking at them. And I said, he knows. He knows. I said the, yeah, and he was just like, they look orthopedia.

Or what a, or what a, or what are you? Yeah, they look, they look prescribed. But they're Lou. It looks like a sleeve. Athletic. That's what you can say. Mm-hmm. You start wearing one of those one single sleeves. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, the Alan Iverson. Yes. But, uh, another thing to, I've been. There's a, you look like a dirt bag from Northeast Philadelphia because all my socks when you're in that store are black ankle socks. Oh. That's a bad look during the summertime.

Yeah. I mean, with jeans, it's okay. You throw in a pair of shorts, a pair of Nike. A pair of shorts? Yeah. What? That's crazy. With black ankle socks.

You might as well be wearing black air forces. It looks like you're about to rob a bank. It's a tough look. your home arrest thing. Mm-hmm. House arrest. Yes, your ankle it. It's a tough.

So over the summer, I tried, I bought these one for the support, but then these, I bought the high, these are too hot. I don't know what's going on. You're wearing knee highs. Yeah,

they're high. I'm all over to join. Do they have the little straps that connect to your pains? I wish. I got a bad pair underwear on today, too. Either I got fat or these things shrunk a lot. And I put my money on shrunk a lot.

Are they the little lemon? That these are Tommy Hillfigure from, whoa, marshals. Wow. Yeah, you go down and you get the Marshall. Tommy Hilfiger. Tommy Hilfiger has probably spelled wrong. These are hillfingers.

I had a question for you. I saw this this weekend. Wanted to know what your thoughts were. And obviously it wasn't me. Six months, clean and sober. It was around. Check the files on that. It was around lunchtime or whatever on a weekend.

Okay. Person was having a drink at the bar. Uh-huh. And as they were, they're like, their crowd was leaving. and their friends were leaving. And they said, hey, you might throw this in a cup for me?

A to go. Bartender was a little hesitant. Rightfully so. I think it's illegal. Well, sure. Yeah, I mean, and not, listen, I'm all for it. Have you done it? How do you feel about it?

No, this goes back to leftovers for me. I'm sculling that fucking drink. Like, there's no drink I don't have. There's at no point do I have an alcoholic beverage that can't be deleted. In three seconds. By the time someone's putting their coat on. We've always lived by that same code.

My beer's whatever it is. Hold on. Give me a second. Crush that. Let's get out. And then you walk out and you're all full and then let that settle a half a beat. Then light a heater. Good friggin' night.

God bless. That's, I'd be remissed if I, you know, it's trashy. I'm all for it, I guess, in the sense of like. She's a lady move. Nothing against a lady. Yeah. I'm trying to.

I mean, even a. Ladies of my family put them back. Really? It's like. So you're, I mean, they're not like. You're somewhere, Niecy's slow on her. She's going to pound it? No, but.

All right, let's go. Nisi's like the tide. You know what I mean? Like, Nisi's not rolling in circles where we're ordered in one. And then we're like, well, there's a fight in the parking lot. We got to, you know, she's like, oh, I'll do one more. We'll do one at that. Say we're down the shore and we're going out.

I'll do one. We'll do one at the house. She'll do, you know, whatever. She'll have a wine at the house. house, maybe two, who knows. Then we'll go to surfside or, uh, what's the Bay of Pigs now? What's the fucking place? Castro?

No. CIA? The OSS. It's on 11th. The Good Shepherd. Do you ever see that movie? The surfing pig. We'll go to the surfing.

I was close with the Bay of Pigs. Pretty good. I just had the wrong side of the island. You know what I mean? She'll do probably two there. They had a stranger in their house. Who? CIA.

That's how they found out about Bay of Pig. They had a stranger in their house Yeah, there was a Russian agent that was working inside Is that what you got debriefed on There's a stranger in the house Man, this guy will do anything to feel cool We met it a Lulu Lemon Oh my God

No, asshole Ishole? Is that a Cuban? Yeah, no man Keep on throwing it, keep on throwing it, keep on it I don't know why it came out like that No asshole Because you're a psychopath

I just saw the good shepherd again That's the way it starts We have a stranger in our house John Totoro says it. Very well. Very well, what? He says it very well. Okay.

Yeah. Anyway. You, not so much. No. You're trying to crowbarred into casual conversation. But listen, I'm fine with it. I don't roll with the crew. That's like a vacation move to me.

You think so? If you're like on an all-inclusive, I'm going to carry this into the thing. These people were not on vacation. No. That's like New Orleans, Charleston, down the shore. Yeah, that that'll give. you but i mean yeah if like if i'm at the pub with my mom and we like and she rolls out with a fucking with a roadie it's a tough look it's a tough look put that in a coffee cup hon

all right yeah curious see where you stood on it gentlemen such as yourself sure you wear little lemon socks but you're also a pretty big dirt bag thanks you know um yeah kind of walk in both worlds well the lulu lemon socks i would argue are i mean that was an imp that's that's I'm trying to get my feet better That's old man shit That's never gonna happen No no not at all Never

And I don't think it's good for my circulation No I know They'll get a massage Getting the weight off Yeah getting the weight off has Helped But And also I gotta be honest with you

My socks If you've ever seen me podcast On Patreon without my socks There's holes in my socks These I got these a week ago Two weeks ago They're gonna These things are gonna be cooked

I'm so big on like trying a lot of different things. Sox, underwear especially. Like a lot of different brands every five years refreshing that, getting like seeing what's new on the market. I'm not that guy. That's crazy. I used to be a Calvin Klein guy going all skims for my underwear now.

Skims, the fucking Kardashian shit. Kim K. Brand. Man, you guys. Oh, socks and underwear. You guys. I like it. I'm surprised to see you in jeans again. Why?

I didn't know how many pairs you had. You took a dokey in the other pair last time I saw you. You know, it's crazy. It is. Yes, it is. I found out that bathing suit fit, though. Yeah, which was Lulu Lemon. No, it wasn't?

Yes, it is. That's a Lulu Lemon bidding suit? Yeah, because we even said it. I said, oh, that's Lulu Lemon. Wait, why does there a Lulu Lemon bathing suit here? I don't fucking know. Were they a sponsor? No.

You sure wasn't a Chubbies? I mean, you were, but I think it was a Lulu Lemon, right? We all talked about it. I fit in that good. Yeah. That's because we were shocked. You said you, they, and you, we said that, you typically wear your fucking N-Wong fucking hot sauce. N-Wong?

N-Wong. He's the Chinese streetballer, N-Wong. And-Wong. Thanks. N-Wong. And-Wong every time he hits it. Hey, yo. All right.

But those were, as the first time I've seen him in a tailored fit of some kind, not, you know, your typical woo-wear pants than I see you walking around the stuff to look pretty good. Stuff you got in the will from your dad. Yes, sir. We're getting there. It was a nice, a tailored look. It was very nice. Plain is to let it grow, let my hair grow out,

let it all grow bushy, shaggy. Uh-huh. And when I get down the close where I want to be, do a quick fucking glow up. There you go. Focus on the stuff that's important in your life, gang. There you go. When everything else is about to blow.

Grow out your hair. You know how we do it. What? I said, you know how we do it. But I was just growing my hair. Fuck! You're going to be saying that you're getting arrested. Hey, it was just the hair.

It was almost to the point where I was going to trim it. And boom. Wayne's court. Give me six weeks. Prolong. Drag it out. Ooh, we. All right, listen, all that's neither here nor there.

We got a gosh darn family episode on our hand. As you guys know when you join the old Patreon, which Is that an all-time high? Listen, people, yeah, people buy the, you know, the dry, I mean, listen, you know, if you're, you probably know, you probably don't, I don't know, just check out Patreon. Things are. Having a good time. Wacky wild storylines all over. Some people tune in for the car crash gang.

This is, I have very, I mean, this is, this is why this is why it's a good program. First thing on my list, not even fucking around. Let's go. This is from half carpet. Longtime $10 investor. I've had one read before, but respect. Thanks for being honest. Sure.

You's ever just had one sock on. Wow. That's a bad look. Recently. Recently. I can't really tell. It was Lou Lemon. I can't really tell you the...

No. I can't really tell you the circumstances. Well, yeah. You lost your sock. Yeah. And it was nighttime and it was like just, well, I do one sock down.

I don't know. It's just there. See, I'm then, I mean, we've were, you know, they came off eventually. I thought we were birds of a feather.

Whereas I'm a big no sock in shoes guy. Oh, love no socks. That's what I'm saying. So if I don't have one sock, my option is not to, even if that socks's on, that socks's coming off and I'm,

I'm, we're all dogging his shoes. Yeah. It just doesn't, I don't know, we were kids younger. I know, it's like,

Like, I know now how bad it is. What? The nose socks. Sure. Like, I know that I've just ruined this pair of sneakers. That's not completely true. It's not right. It's not false, but it's not completely true.

I have a couple wears in those. The fuse is lit on those shoes until them being over. I am right there, dude. I put them on last night to run the dog down for his nighttime tinkies. These. Okay. And, nah, by the, I went down and right back up. Shreddy?

Oh, man, as I put them in, I went, these are, these are dunzo. Yeah, it sucks. But they feel so good. You feel young, you feel faster. I feel wealthy. If I have, like, a newer pair of shoes and I slip in without, they're, they're clean. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, it makes me feel rich. Huh. I go, this is, because I used to be so, you don't. Don't do that because that's all you got. Really? I can now go, well, if these shit to bed in two months, I got the, you know, I got the $89.99 to get a new pair of new balance. Oh, that's the way you look at it. They're your bombers.

What do you mean? Like, you don't give a shit. Not that I don't give a shit. I just know that like the consequence of putting your bare foot in a shoe. A very heavy foot sock talk this week. Uh-huh. Your consequence of putting my sweaty. If you only had one pair of sneakers.

Skanktoe. Yeah. Feet in my thing. raw dogged i know there's no coming back from that no it feels illegal when i do it i don't like you don't like he grew up it feels like i'm going on the run it's like well different guys i didn't have that time to put my socks on well heavens what could i be doing lord heavens work up from a different cloth guy i haven't had my afternoon tea yet either i had a pair of green air walks from t j max not even air walks from like the skate store uh-huh t j max these things was like quarter

They were like a test shoe that they put out. Nobody must have barred. Cordoid sneakers are rough. Dude, cord, and they went both directions. You know what I mean? The cords went like horizontal, and then in the middle they went vertical. It was bad. And I must have worn these things.

Oh, I got them in a springtime. I wore them all summer by August. And then we're outside a lot. You know, my mom's a little absent. That's not a summer shoe either. No, to corduroy. Dark quartering. They were like, they were like Army Green.

Jesus. And dude, by the end of the summer, my mom was like, what the hell is that smell? The hell. Oh my God. That's freedom, ma. That's freedom. That's money, baby. That's fucking sunny days and heaters, girl.

That's straight cash, girls. Yeah. I remember it could say you had to like power wash them, you know what I mean? Yeah. Fuck is. Go spray your feet out. I hated that. Spray my, dude, having to spray your feet with a hose in the best.

backyard before you're allowed in the house. Man. Tough McGillicuddy. Kim, let's talk about Zock Doc. Let's talk about Zock Doc. Talk about genius. Coming up with a way to book your doctor's appointments to find out what doctors in your network, who takes your insurance, are they close to you, this agency?

Dude, do you ever call doctor's office? You guys take this in there. They'll call you back and, oh, no, we don't take that version of the insurance. version of you. That version kills you. We don't do the gold plan. We do the silver plan. Well, I got the gold plan, lady. Uh-huh. I'm peeing blood here. Not with Zock, baby. Listen, I have personal use of Zock doc doc. I found my primary care doctor on

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He was great. Good reviews. And not to diminish it, but it makes it like a restaurant or like a business kind of. It goes, hey, hear the reviews. This is what the real, you get the real feel of a doctor's office. Not this. Yeah, welcome in, blah, blah, blah. And it takes out the bureaucracy.

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support the show and tell them the boys freaking sent you yeah my one friend's dad wouldn't let me wear just bare feet

in the house he had to put socks on I had another I had a family that did that too I was sticking to the floor they were so bad you're walking

up the wall. Yeah, man, I just like it. I love it. I love it. I was not these, but you know those running sneakers that I have that are all fucked up? They're all dirty. I got them like, I don't know, a month ago, and they're just trashed. Man, wearing those with nose socks and, like, seeing them peek out of my jeans, just feel

cool and young. Yeah. I don't know what it is. And like a couple miles an hour faster. Sure, you get cooking. It's crazy. It's a different vibe. You feel.

a little different. It really is. When I put these on, I honestly, it's like, dad, I feel secure, I feel confident.

I feel, I think it's because they're nerdy looking and I don't care. I can't, I can't be worried about how my socks and shoes look.

I got bigger fucking problems. I got a fry. I'm locked in dad mode. That's why I think dad's look corny. Like, yeah, give me the fucking new balances

and the fucking tight jeans. I got shit to do, guy. I can't be bogged down wearing them. That's how you see. You see like an old dad. I mean, you used to have a bit about this.

But like a dad, like a cool, cool dad who's like has too many accessories. I did used to have a bit about this. I'm sure I have a feeling it will be coming back out. So you guys can see it in Appleton. You just go all like a dad. How do you have time to worry about like? Like the guy that I'm sure he has kids, but the guy that does the real estate downtown with the salt and pepper hair? Nah, he's cool though.

I know. I know he's cool. But I'm just saying he dresses. Hot. Yeah, but that looks, that guy looks, because that's just like he's in his pants and a t-shirt. Mm-hmm.

I don't know. Like a cream-knitted, like, polo shirt. Like a wine bar with the kid. No, not even that. Pencil tats or whatever. What a wine bar with the kid? I see it all the time now. He's down there.

What the hell's Lou talking about? He's down in the cool guy neighborhood. Dad's at wine bars with their kids? That's all I see. It's like moms and dad having like the Sunday night. Like hipster dad. Yeah. Some guy who's like, oh, I have like,

I have the one article of clothing that sums it up completely. The fucking knitted hat. No, I don't have it. I have it to give to you to tell you, which I'm sure you, I'll see you wearing this shortly. It's the knitted hat rolled up over the ears. That thing serve in no purpose. You want it only for looks and you look like a dickhead. Oh, yeah.

That to me, if I see a guy walking his kid with that, I'm like, you're worried about how your hat, your non-functional hat looks. I mean like a stocking hat, like a winter hat. Yeah, like a knitted hat. But rolled up over the, it's not like you just threw it on like, oh, we're running to school. Hipster style. Yeah, it's like, I want to look cool when I take my kid to school. Right. That's what I, and I have trouble getting me.

Also, I don't know if I ever said this. I saw him again today. I said, there's his dad in my neighborhood drops his kids off to school on a motorcycle. Did I ever tell you that? It's crazy. Wait, you go to, these are babies. Drops the baby off? He drops his two kids off at school with my neighbor.

neighborhood. Whoa. They, dude, you hear him. I'm walking the dog every morning. He comes peeling up. Are they both on the bike? They're both on the bike. There's one holding both in the front? I can't recall. I can't recall. They got little helmets. It's cute. That's cute. Very dangerous.

And he then takes the helmets. He hooks them on the, like a ducaut, like a, like a ninja bike. Not even, I'm not even talking heavy bike. I'm talking. Really? I'm talking rice rocket. This is heavy bike. What was his name? Do you remember? Fuck. Don Cheadle's name.

Oh, no, it wasn't Don Cheadle. It was Don Cheadle playing the stuntman in Oceans. 12. Yeah. No, 13. We're talking heavy bike. Basher. No, that was his name.

He played. He then was impersonating. He looked like an evil-can-eval type guy. We're talking heavy bike. Okay, heavy a bike. But yeah, that's crazy too, right? That's another thing where I'm like, this is very performative. Fender roads.

Fender roads. Fender roads. Fender roads. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah, but anywho. Before, our new spinoff. Sock talk. We've been talking about socks for 45.

That's the magic of the show, baby. That's what keeps us in the charts. Where we go. Uh-huh. All right, let's see here. This one's from Phil 90X. Great name. Very nice.

Very good name. Shout to Phil X. Shout out to Phil X. I was talking to him this weekend. About moving some things around. I have to get some more sock money. We're switching to conservative investments. Really?

Yeah. Playing a fast and loose the last couple weeks, huh? Somebody has been. I got to hedge my personal bets based on. the personal decisions of someone else. You know what I mean? Luke, I messed up. Hand up.

Hand up. Shouldn't have been at that wine bar wearing that fucking dushy fitted hat. This is from Phil 90X. Great. That just makes me feel good about what we've built. Phil 90X. Ten dollar sizzle here is it garbage if your three-year-old daughter

puts her dolls on the porch steps of her dollhouse and says they're sitting there because they're smoking. Holy heck, welcome to the show. I love that. She knows too much at this age. Way too much. That's great.

That's so good, dude. That makes me feel pretty good about the future generations. Yeah. We're not, you know, we're not becoming tour. This girl's still playing, still playing heaters with her dolls. Still playing heater. Playing heaters, hon. Come on, Aver.

Bring you lighter. They're sitting on the porch having a heater waiting for that loud mouth on CNN. Waiting for that liberal scum to keep running her mouth. It's so cute. Like a tea party, but a heater party instead. She's like got a fake lighter, like a Fisher Price lighter. That's great, dude. That's awesome.

Holy shit. That's the shit. They're ripping heaters, dad. Pouring black coffee instead of tea. Cracking beers. They all got a dunkin? That's, uh, that's, great, man. That's beautiful.

Truly. That's like we talked about on skanks. My mom was against it, but the baby, we're at my brother's house, the baby kept bringing us beers. And he liked being part of it. We were like, oh yeah, give one Uncle Danny, give one to Dad. He don't know

their beers. He don't know their beers, but we're having, we're inclusive and it's a good time. And it just, there's something dirtbaggy in me that makes it go, that's my boy. Yeah, I look back and think about that stuff. Is that stuff that, you know, triggered or anything? I don't think so.

I mean, I don't think it helped. I don't think making seven and seven would a twist a lemon at five and a half. Didn't help your fucking drug and alcohol problem. Working for tips. I remember hearing that one. Yeah, but so many kids did that. You know, there's just such a... There's a lot of drug people with drug and alcohol.

A small amount compared to the macro numbers here. It's all good fun. Sure. I thought it was cool. I'm not against it. I'm okay with it. Yeah, I remember, I don't even know who this guy was. I want to say it was an uncle, but I feel like it wasn't an uncle.

Guy was in our life for a little while. Yeah. He was an uncle, but he was around for two years, three years. Oh, man. There was a guy, shout out. That's like me. I don't know if our family still friends know. There's a guy named Twig.

Twig would call, Twig was at all of our, he's older guy. Shout out Twiggy. He ain't around. I think there was a, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Twig something. They're beefing or something. I don't know.

He was my uncle's boy. But twig, which I also think is the guitars for Marilyn Manson. Twiggy. Twiggy, right? I think so. But yeah, he was around. He was a staple for all of my, you know.

Him and another one, and another woman, Nancy Bubbles. Nancy Bubbles was around for a hot minute. But there was this guy and he would, I'd go up and get him drinks at a party at a hall somewhere. I want to say it was like a nights of coffee. Columbus or fire hall or whatever somewhere we were having birthday parties

or like Holy Communion Party and he's like Go up there order me a 7 and 7 would a twist a lemon and the fact that it rhymed was like the funniest fucking And I you know I must have got him about 15, 7 and 14s with lemon you know what I mean

7 and 7 7 up I guess it's Seagram 7 and 7 up yeah 7 and 7 and 7 would a twist a lemon and it Rined and I was like this guy is a fucking genius. That is an old school highball right there. Yeah. Nasty. And as much

as I've drank, I've never had a fucking 7 and 7 and 7 with a twist a lemon. I know how to order him though. She ain't given him to this guy he was for sure probably pedophile hanging around the parties too much. Seven and seven and seven want to twist a lemon. There was always just two. That was the problem with such a big family. There's too many then

not that there was any pediful. I'm saying that as a joke. But the the buddy for a. couple of years. You know what I mean? What like really got in? There was a guy that watched me all summer. He watched me, Danny and Liam, all summer, all summer. I don't even know if that guy, I don't know where that guy is. He took us out on boats.

He took us to the beach. Grown man? Yeah, he was a cook. He was, he was a, he was. He wasn't like a college kid? No, he was the husband of my aunt's friend, I think. And we all kind of stayed in a house and sea aisle. We all, everybody pulled together a house for the...

Which is when your mom was working? My mom and aunt were working and we would... Somebody with the kids would stay down the shore and then they would drive back up to Philly for like they'd work shift work. So they worked like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 12 hours or whatever. And we were just posted up at the house. I guess that was probably the cheapest way to babysit us. So it's just you three with a stranger down the shore.

He was the man. And I think my mom said she bumped into him recently. He's still like... Oh yeah, you used to raise my kids Hey you know one still has big head he smokes Yeah, they all got drinking problems One's got a one's a bit of a fighter You know what the fuck

He was the man He was uh I think I want to say This is crazy I want to say his wife's name was Bunny Bunny and Steve Right That's got second marriage All over Now they were he was the man

Man, they were awesome. They watched, he, like, watched us. And I guess he was just like, a big kid or whatever. And we were just like, I don't know. We were just vived all summer. Because, dude, I remember fishing with this guy. Because you could go rent one of those wooden boats

where you drive from the back and stay in the bay. They must have been, in the 90s, they were probably like 15 bucks a day. So he'd be like, we throw six kids on a boat, which just seems crazy. No life. Jackets. And we would just go crabbing or whatever. A lot of flamboum material. Cigarettes.

Couple of beers. Fireworks. Yeah. Wow. We were. Yeah. That was. But again, a lot of those.

Sure. Coming around. Man, dude, down the shore was different in the 90s. It was just like as long as there's an adult. One. One adult. One adult. For 15 kids.

Yeah. May or may not have known the kids. Mm-hmm. I remember my mom, them sending like 30 kids, 20, 30 kids to the beach with like one or two adults. Yeah. And being like,

are you all coming back? Yeah, 20 kids. What it was. It's, yeah, I mean. Somebody's slipping under the, under the rip tide. A rip current. Take you out.

Yeah, lost a lot of good kids out there. Yeah. More Doritos for everybody. Different time. Yeah. But let's see here. All right. That was a great one.

All right. Let's see. This one's from Riley. $10 bugman exterminator. Never have one read. And that was a lie. Shout out to you. Very cute.

The boys are hitting today. Is it garbage if your wife's drunk aunt came to your son's fourth birthday party at your house? and took multiple plates of leftovers to her car before the party was even close to being over. Me and my wife noticed and immediately went out to her car when nobody was looking and took them all back. Oh. Huh. That's, I mean, one. Really dragging out of the mud.

She's, yeah. She's making you fight a fight you don't want to fight, essentially. You're dragging into the mud. I mean, yes, insane that she's taking that back. your wife's drunk aunt to her car. I guess she's driving home. Sure. I don't think there was a chauffeur.

I don't think there was a driver in that car. She got four. Somebody waiting for her. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's insanely trashy. But then you're going back and stealing them and not letting, not going, hey, just let her play. You get in the mud with her. I respect, but also dirtbag.

Yeah. If I'm a guest of that party and I get the old car food, I am not happy about it. Oh, man. You get deviled eggs. I've been sweating for a minute. You're unwrapping that, putting it back in the fucking sternot tray. Like mix it up, mix it all back in there. That's good.

We got to put back. Jesus. Isn't it true that it's to take grocery stuff, grocery food, grocery store food off the shelves? You can't put it back? I mean, I think if it leaves the building or something like that. Oh, if it goes to checkout, you're allowed to put it back? I think we did. I mean, I did.

Like if somebody got there and went, oh, I don't want this, we go. okay, if it was like a box of cereal, you'd let it sit until you got a minute you can take it back yourself or send it back. But if it was like meat, somebody would run it right back. Oh, no kidding. I think so. What do you got on that, Lucas Petucas?

No grocery store food generally cannot go back on shelves once it leaves the store or is left unattended out of its proper temperature zone. Yeah. I think if you get to the register and go, I don't want this anymore. But like if you find a couple of pork chops on the fucking bread aisle that someone just put there,

that's got to get dumped because you don't how long it's been there. You know what I mean? Which people do. It's crazy. I did it the other day. I felt bad. You did?

Not with that, no, with clothes. Which I never do because I worked at. No, I don't. It's annoying, but it's not pork chop.

Yeah, it's not pork shop. No, I know. But I did, I was like looking for it, but I literally just threw it. I went, I can't. I can't.

The guy wasn't helping me. He iced me this fucking kid. I used me like 15 times. I walked by him. Damn. And I was just like, I asked him for help. He didn't give it to me.

I was just like, and he was like, treat me like, I'm an asshole. So last time my H&M gets my money. Sure. You know what I mean? I'm with you.

And I was trying to just was, I just was just saying, I'm done. I can't, I'm not doing it. Yeah, that's different. I've seen like half a rotisserie chicken,

like, yeah, that's got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's got to go. Pick through. Kevin's talking about Cash app. Cash! Yeah.

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All right. This one's great. I believe this is from Wade Boggs beers. Nice. I got mixed up in the copy and paste from Patreon here. It says, are your paper plates still in the half torn open plastic? That's the real feel. what's going on in your house.

Cars are like that right now in the studio. Yes, yes, they are. But we got the pretty good ones. We have more like cardboard plates. The ones with the depth. Which growing up, we didn't have. Can I say this? I feel like the paper plate is coming back a little bit.

I love a paper plate. Right? We went out to lunch the other day, me, my wife, and my son. And we date. did a thing that I, that I never saw. Oh, God. These New York numbers keep calling me. I don't know what's going on. Nothing to do with me. Yeah, I don't think

people, I don't think people are calling for Luke. I got a call from Chase Bank today. Really? And then he sent me, he left a voicemail. And it was like, something, something, Henry. And I'm like, this fucking. His name was Henry, though. I was like, this rat. Fuck out of here. This rat fuck. And give me that bullshit here and there

and it can't be this guy. You got a huge paper mache head on I borrowed a kid for a little while You got big white Lulu lemons These are Lulu lemons Are on the wrong feet Get the fuck out of here AI face masks

Those things are scary Yeah I don't fuck with them They can throw off the cams and stuff Um But fuck what we're Oh the paper plates And instead of Uh

A lot of you order something For the baby You know They bring it And then you're like, it's glass and whatever. They dropped a paper plate with paper, utensil, plastic utensils. I went, this is great. Because he can't smash it.

If he throws it, it's not breaking. I'm like, oh, we're doing this at home. We're all paper plates all the time. Love it. Yeah, smart. Grew up all paper plates. Love it, paper plate. There was, I don't think, as like, into my, I mean, when I think I moved out into my

20s was the final time I kind of transitioned that. I guess I lived there. I lived there. I lived in my mom's right before I came up here. Yeah. So 30. My God, 28. As a pit stop, though.

Pit stop, 28. I would never use a plate, like an actual plate. It was always paper plates. 100% of the time. Pizza, anything I was making went on paper plate. Two, three paper plates sometimes if you need to. Of course. We always did the really cheap paper, like, flattened.

Wait, the ones you get from, like, the pizza place? Yeah, that's our whole lives. Still, she'll do that. You need like six of those. Oh, I know. I know. Put a steak on there? Dude, dude, eating egg-o-waffles on that thing.

You ate half the plate. The syrup would rip or would soak that thing. And then you can't use a real knife and fork on that. Once it gets a little moisture, you're eating plate. Oh, it sucked. It sucked, dude. I hated it. It's sucking up like napalm fucking.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a... But she... Denise would take them out of the plastic, like the 500 stack or whatever. Stack them up nice. And put them on. We had like a wicker, uh, mm-hmm. Like, you know, whatever, like a thing you would put like a pot on or out, like a wicker basket kind of thing.

And that they were above the microwave. Yeah. And I remember being a kid, I'd have to jump up on the counter, stand on the counter to get to that thing, to get a paper plate, which we could have put a couple on the counter for me. For me when I'm home alone. Fatty hungry. I ain't know. She's probably put them up there so I wouldn't eat. Yeah, right, bitch.

Trying to stop me. They're up on the roof in the neighbor's house. They're in a bear bag out back. Can't stop me. You wanted paper plane, can't be it. I remember that lost of that. I come in. I'm all swollen.

I'm all stung up. Yeah, looking back, she was probably trying to keep me. She knew you were chubby? They would have conversations out in the open about it. It's brutal. I remember so much. when making a peanut butter joke about the amount of peanut butter I ate

and my sister We were on the way to Big Boulder Jack Frost And one I never told you One of these It was like a Sports Illustrated magazine or some I don't know who the fuck was reading this You were eating that?

I cut a bag of waffles on it One of the facts was like Americans eat three football fields of peanut butter, like three feet feet feet deep every year. So I was like trying to keep. One American? No. Well, that's my sister. She said, you know, total of Americans eat three football fields.

And she said, I think it was my sister. And she went, yeah, Kevin's two of his two of the fields. And my world folded in on itself, dude, dumb bitch. And my mom's like, well, that's all he eat. I gotta give it. Like she got defensive that she's only feeding me peanut butter. That's all I wanted, though. Talk about chasing the dragon.

I imagine you just permanently sleepy. Like a lot of heavy cars. Like an old biggie. Oh, man. You can't get the engine clean with that. Nah, dude, I was doing that and then going to snowboard or whatever. That was brutal. Get up and go.

I have a protein shake kid, will you? A lot of enriched flour in my child A lot of bleach flour Keep it down It's all empty calories A roll an amoroso roll Loaded with peanut butter and a screaming cold Coke I never understood what that meant empty calories

Just you should learn Oh God That's funny Brutal Let's see. This is from another great name. This is from Kid Rock Bottom. Great name.

Is it garbage if the electrician you found on Facebook asked, did you want to pull permits for all this? Are you trying to keep it under the radar? That's great. That's your kind of guy. That's... Only thing I wouldn't fuck around with, though. Electric.

Yeah. Just because it scares me. That's what we always learn. You can't fuck with it. No. You just can't. Water, whatever. Yeah.

Hey, it's a leak. We'll figure it out, you know. Yeah. I don't want him fucking electric-huting himself at the house. I'm fucking have to bury him now. Oh, man. Panic. Patty always put it fast and loose with the electricians.

Okay. And we're back. A couple of roofers, too, I heard. I love you, Patty. How dare you. And you tell that Kevin. Listen, me and Patty the only fucking thing you got back to back. We're like me and me and Patty, like Danny Glover.

What's your guy? Mel, what's with me today? Yeah. What do you mean? You're stuttering, you're forgetting stuff? Yeah, whatever it happens, one or two flubs. You need to take your Ivermectin or whatever it is. Ginkgo-Baloba.

Uh-huh. Something. I got a couple of notes for you, too. Fair enough. All the blood's trapped in his ankles. Yeah, can't get out of the fucking the Lululemon death grip. Yeah, you're not supposed to wear those rolled up. You're supposed to pull them up high.

They're up high. Even. Because they're compression socks, aren't they? Yeah, pop-pop-up? Yeah, they are. Keep the blood flow going? No, they're not compression socks. They're just socks for a skinnier man, a more athletic frame.

You're telling me how to wear my compression socks. And I'm on. And I'm on. Shit. All right, this one, some Taylor, never have one read. Is it garbage to pronounce it, Rochester instead of Rochester. I'm probably guilty of saying Rochester. Rochester.

Rochester. Rochester. Detroit. Detroit. I get that from my mom. He's out there in Detroit. It's so trashy. It's so trashy.

Uh-huh. Their mom's saying that. Detroit. Not in Detroit. She says something else, too. Caribbean. The Caribbean. I think it's the Caribbean down there and the Caribbean.

And all inclusive at the Caribbean. Little layover in Detroit. She says huge humans. Sure. It's human. That's a huge human. Human. Human.

human like a human being like yeah he's a human being yeah there was a shot coming to me somewhere in there no too little slow

you're lucky I didn't take my fucking like whatever antihistamines I got nothing you see your antihistamines why do you have allergies I'm allergic to broke

oh you're done huh well god pezick fucking broke boy yeah no broke boys no no new friends

alright let's see here this one's from money mark 90s great name also long time 10 dollar home besides when I go broke in the payment laps and his name's money mark that's great amen you's ever known anyone struck by lightning which we've talked about then this

there was a response to that me I was up to my waist in water and boom spicy that's how he described getting electrocuted yeah that was from Ant Toady's Lubalube was the response to that Does he say anything else?

No just that fuck Yeah Up to your That's how to not kill him I don't know I'm very curious At the body of water Because you would have said in the pool This was this feels like it was some sort of

Crick or tributary Flood water or something Do you ever see sometimes when it's when it strikes Like a lake or something it's like catastrophic. Yeah, it blows up the water.

Crazy. I don't mess with it, dog. I do not. I feel like that would have to give you superpowers. It sucks. Right?

You ever see phenomenon? Doesn't it make sense? No, that's what you're cooked, dude. It does, though. You're cooked. Your fucking fingers crossed to get electrocuted

one final fucking comeback. Spiders biting you. Oh, man. Let's go. Keep hanging out in that room of yours. It's going to happen. That thing is a web. Yikes.

My gikes. You leave my spiders alone. Another language, one, this is great. This is from Toadie's Mugman, $10 squad member. Do you say antibiotics or antibiotics? Antibiotics. Antibiotics. He's antibiotic.

A couple antibiotics. Mm-hmm. Get a Z-pack, antibiotic. Mm-hmm. Good for you. I'm in antibiotics. Antibiotics. I was, I just said this before, but during the pandemic,

on the beach in Wildwood and some lady went, that hell's in anybody anyway. Anybody anyway. Was it great? She died two weeks later. Mass spreader event. Sure. Anybody.

Anybody. Anybody's. I feel like we've done this, but it was posted. Maybe I pulled it before a lot of upvotes. Right by me, kid. So I believe it wasn't. Is it garbage if your high school girlfriend was the high school mascot? that's a that's a

That's got to be a Strong broad Right Sick and twisted love affair That's my girl She's the bull or whatever You know what I mean Yeah

It's never like It's never like band or something What? You know Well you don't know what the mascot was It's all high school mascots are never like You know Could be a big suit

Here's the fucking Victoria Secret model You know what I mean, it's like, Princess Peach or whatever. Yeah, it's always like this is fucking, you know, it's like an armadillo, a fucking, you know. Imagine being that lucky man. Sure. She got a lot of school spirit.

Yeah. She's probably, you're probably athletic. You got to be. Sure. You can't be a slouch. Uh-uh. You got to be locked in. A lot of pep.

A lot of pep. Can't be eating a lot of peanut butter. Actually, she's probably more like a gymnast if you think about it. Maybe. You got to be able to fucking move, you know what I mean? You're not. You're not building. like me doing it.

You never had a high school girlfriend. No. Kept single all through high school. Yeah. Never date it? No. Take somebody to the prom and all that stuff? Yeah.

But never like romantically. It wasn't until really, I guess, freshman year. Yeah, freshman year or college. Really. But a girl from high school. Kind of. She was in high school.

Yeah. No, what? No. What the heck? Talk about a fucking bamboozle guy. Well, we got that on tape. Chase Bank, I think that's all you need. Get him.

Red team go. Red team go. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Almost sunk the whole goddamn operation. Um, all right, let's see. I knew he was no good. There he is, pervert.

Get him. Sitting here, chair, cat, and all the money. Uh, let's see. Oh, shit. What? Nothing. Tell me. Nothing.

Tell me. Shut up. Haven't you done enough damage? Telling people, nothing is like the best thing ever. I hate it. You know, what? Nothing, dude. I fucking hate that shit.

Your feeble brain could never understand it. Oh, my feeble brain? Yeah. Fucking mush. You can tell me. You're not. Fucking soup for brains. No, I'm not going to tell you.

Damn. Why am I going to tell you? This one's from, no, I can't do this one. He wouldn't get it. uh let up this one's not good for this one hits a little too close to home oh me and luke will talk about this one later just making a fucking make his head explode he's having a little bit of fun but he's seething on the inside not at all not not at all there is the honest Hank we all not not at all no locked in i love you guys and hope you do well i wish you well now tell me what

the fuck you're gonna call you're really not going to tell me you're really not going to tell me Yeah, I'm over that. I'm over that phase of my life. Since when? I did a lot of self-help this weekend? I did. Okay. A lot of reflection.

Uh-huh. Deep. Personal. Personal. Got electrocuted. Struck by lightning. Three inches of water. Deep body of water.

All right, this one's from Foley's bastard son. Oh, geez. Ten bone, homie. Spesh was great. Thank you very much. Had one red. Is it garbage you, for let your kids. stay home from school just because they missed the bus.

Jesus. Man. That'd be like my kids. Ah, fuck it. That's crazy. Uh-huh. Never. Never. Yeah. That's garbage.

You're not trying hard enough. What, as a parent? Just said anything. Listen, maybe you need a reset day. I get that. What was it? I wonder if he's staying home, too. Well, that's fun. Denise would do that maybe once every two years maybe.

If she was home, if she had the day off or something and I don't know, say Danny was sick or something. If there was a world where like we could all stay home, she might, there was a time she flexed that muscle a couple of times. Really? Good parents do. Yeah, I think like if Danny was sick and she's like, why have to call out of work anyway? Because I remember there's a couple times I woke up where. they were still Danny and Sarah were still there

and I'm like something so because they went to school earlier than me Oh. And like they were in junior high and I was in elementary school. Your first thought. The peanut butter. Oh no.

My peanut butter toast. Um, and I would like, I'd go something and they'd be like, we're staying, they're staying. They're staying. You can stay home.

We're staying home. Not a movie. No, we had to fucking, we stayed in a house. We had a very. Would you, would you waddle back bed? No. Really?

No. A couple hours? At this point, she's cooking. She ain't working. She's got the fight. Something scramby's going. They're just baking in here. That's why I woke my fat is out of bed. A couple of sausage patties or links for the boy. Then a little shutdown? No. I mean, I'm like, at this point I'm like seven. What kind of seven-year-old gets up eats and goes back to bed, dude? You're fucking, are you that fucking insulin-resistant?

That's crazy, dude. what seven-year-old shuts it back down like he's like he's a coal miner all right thanks ma wake me up for uh price is right i gotta go if my teacher calls tell her i'm sick now yeah no rolling it and shut your damn that's crazy you're such a fat ass it's wild you shut it down after that you tell me you're not gonna have egg o waffles and immediately go to bed and watch a pranos i could

I feel like Peter Payne when he couldn't remember. I couldn't think of what it was like to be a little kid. You know? Mm-hmm. Figure it, eat that, take a huge... Take a dump. Shut it down. Jerk off.

Don't come in a computer room neither. Snoop out for it. Oh, man. You're full life back then. Yeah. Yeah. Probably me and Danny start fighting or whatever. You know what I mean?

Get something going. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It's kind of funny, I had this. The little Kipparino started daycare, and we got to take the subway to get them to daycare, and the subway was fuck. We had to transfer, the subway was running late,

there's just all you're sitting there. One of those things where you're like, just sitting for 15 minutes. And I'm like, fuck, what time is it? We've got to be there by 8.30. I'm texting her. I'm like, can you send a message to the fucking thing? And I'm like, I'm paying these motherfuck.

Like, what am I, I, like, resort back to that. For some reason, as kids, obviously, it was like insane. If you miss the bus, if they had to drive it, they had to drop. Oh, my God, if you're late. God forbid, I have to go in and sign them in. If you miss the day, it was like this pressure cooker of getting to fucking a random Tuesday and fourth grade on time that has zero consequence, zero positive consequence in the rest of my life. Only negative.

Of course, that's a end up fucking. kids missed a bus are staying home. Sure. I mean, yeah, it's listen. But we don't need to go like, you know, we're not pulling a fucking bank job where I'm like, you know, you gotta get there and get in. Is there a penalty for showing up late?

What, on mine? Yeah. With the Lil Kipparino? Yeah. Maybe, but I'm going, I don't give a fuck. I'm paying you people. A decent amount of money. All right.

I'm overcorrecting. I'm going like, Oh, it's also my therapist told me I don't have the tools to have a normal conversation I'm going, I'm sorry, I'm late I have to go, I'm fucking you, who can't put your check? You know what I got to go? Sure.

You know what I mean? Right to the top. I go right to the top. I go right to the top. Let me talk to your boss. Get personal real quick. Hey, you fat bitch, what the fuck? You snagled tooth whore the fuck's talking to you.

Lucky I let you watch him, I just losing it. Where's your husband? Let me slap him around a little bit. Um, no, but that's in me to be like, we can't be, we can't, and like, my wife doesn't really have that. I'm like, can you message them? She's like, it's fine. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Is it?

I never know whether it's fine or not. I don't know what's fine. I mean, I think it's fine if a 18 month old is 10 minutes late to daycare. But you know, if the message, I think it's fine. I don't have the message. Don't worry about it. I'm so bad at, like, determining that stuff. Mm-hmm.

I know. Yeah, it's weird. It's not that weird. You just said the same thing. What? You didn't know whether it was text them or not. No, I'm saying text them. I'm not saying I don't know.

I'm saying, but yeah, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. And also, I'm saying at the end of the day, I don't really, I'm expressing myself poorly, but it's saying I don't really care if they care. Gotcha. Is the part? I don't know how to really say that, though. I have to go, I'm fucking guilty. Right. But, yeah, at the end of the day, if they're upset with me, I have to get okay with them being.

upset that my toddler was late for school. Sure. You're also not making a habit of it, which is like a thing. Where I think it's like it's a problem if it's like, hey, every day we're coming in late. Well, I think it gets disruptive then. If they're like, hey, the other 10 kids are here. And when someone comes in and they tries to leave, someone cries, that makes five more kids cry, then we're dealing with the fucking, you know. Is that what it's like?

Yeah. It's the first couple of days were, yeah, like a mental institution. craziness. Just kids crying. Just kids crying. Yeah. Or losing their mommy and daddy. Yeah, I don't know.

First time. Yeah. I mean, you still cry over your fucking parents. Yeah. They're 50. These kids are like 14 months. They don't know what the fuck's going on. All right.

This one's from Holy Foley. I feel like we might have talked about this, but it is, is it garbage or cut up all your food on the plate and eat it? My girlfriend started doing this at a high-end steakhouse and I was mortified. I'm in the middle on this and I'm trashy. And I have poor manners. But I do it. What? I don't know.

It's a nice thing. If somebody did it for me. I mean, you're just, you're just criticizing toddlers for crying and you want somebody to cut your yum-yum-n-num- There comes a trade, nice little cubes of fillet, Mignon.

I'll cut, this is what I'll do. I'll cut like two to three pieces ahead of time. Because I like using steak as an example. Yeah. All right. I'll do like you said, I get a filet. Yeah.

I'll probably cut, you know, let's say it's like kind of why, you know, I'll cut maybe one or two slices. Slices. Then I'll probably cut each one of those slices in half. So that leaves me with four pieces. Then I'll do because my, yes, then I'll do, because my thing is I cut. This is the American way. I knife in my right, fork in my left. Yes.

Right? I then put my knife down, switch my fork over, which they said, which feels trashy. And I didn't realize until, I don't know, probably two years ago that you can't do that. Switch over. And then I'll do like if I got my mash, if I got my brusseys, whatever I got going, I'll do a little combo. Of course you do. A little Thanksgiving dinner. But that way I have four good clean bites.

Yeah. Where I don't have to do the heavy lifting in the middle. Yeah. You know what? Assembly line a little bit. And you see you feel after that and you start slicing again. You start slicing that. Of course.

Maybe I'll do one slide. Maybe I'll do three slices. Slicing the whole state. The conversation's going. I want to be locked in vibe in here. Right, right, right. That's me. And that's true.

I mean, that is. Cutting it all up. Cutting it all up is crazy. But you can pre-cut some. And that's coming from a man child. I think pre-cut half the steak you get. That's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. I'm not saying it's not too much. I'm saying that's the line line. I see out of perimeter. I'll give you that. I'll give you a third. I'd give you a third. Maybe a quarter.

I really think it's a quarter. For a lady? Nice lady? I would taste less. That's less for a lady. Ladies are dainty. I need my protein. Okay.

I'm doing my macros. Okay. Yeah, it's not a good look. It's not. It's child. It's like that only other house. Only children that happens for children. You know what I used to kind of hate but also kind of love?

When you were a kid and they'd cut half the slice of pizza. And then you get the full, like they cut the bottom of the triangle off. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like so you got a triangle. They'd cut it like here down. And then leave you like two or three inches in the crust. And then I would eat that.

Because I guess I was like too little to hold up the full floppy. slice. So they cut the point off? Like, half, like, say this is the, you know, say it's, they cut like halfway. Yeah. So there's no flop, like the crust and the integrity of the crust. There's no crust. No, it's mostly crust. It's mostly crust.

No, but the bottom triangle is all cheese and whatever. Yeah, but I would cut, that would get cut into like bites. I would eat that with a fork. See, that's my favorite part of the pizza. What? That little, that, you know, the first couple bites. Mm-hmm. I wish they could just, you know, it was all cheese. No crust. Mine's a crust.

Really? Fun fact. Interesting. Gipy? Different people can disagree. Intelligent people can disagree. Are they here? Those intelligent people are at the table?

Yep. Talking about socks and cutting pizza. That's right. Yeah, you heard me. You're the one who said you liked it. What? The pizza. As a kid, that was my favorite thing because I felt like a girl, like I felt like a real boy.

You know what I mean? I get to eat the slice like my dad, you know what I mean? The crust. All parents loved crust, which I was just like crazy. Crazy. Yeah. I'll eat your crush. What do you?

You're a hobo? Go get another fucking slice, dickhead. Eat my trash. I'll eat your crust. Pull a little peanut butter on that? You don't eat the crush. What the fuck? I'm four.

Uh-huh. I still have that. I got wings as a starter the other day. You did? Uh-huh. By yourself? What? Like solo?

Like, that was your appetizer? Uh, yeah. Huh. Were you with the misses? Mm-hmm. What'd she get as an appetizer? Summer roll. Ah.

Yeah. But the white thing on the outside? Yeah. These things are chewy as shit. My buddy. I loved every single ingredient. What are we doing with these? It's like alien eyeballs.

What are we doing? What material is that stuff? Do you think I'm going to be touching that? Open it up, put it in a tortilla, and give it back to me. What is the deal with that shit? I don't know. I don't get it. I don't either.

Chewy. Now, hey, you want to know how to ruin a good cut of meat? Wrap it in slime. All right. We got to wrap it up, though. Gang, I'm going to tell you right now, we love you to death. Do us a favor if you already haven't. Get over there.

Check out that American Garbage on the YouTube page. And the tour. And the tour. We're on the road coming up first dates. We got Appleton, Wisconsin. Let me just see. Let me just pull it up right here. Take a quick look and properly do the fricky plugs.

We got Appleton, Wisconsin. We got one show at San Jose. Then we got two in San Diego. Tickets are going quick for that. Then we got Tacoma, Atlanta, and then wrapping it up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, wrapping the year up strong like we do every year. Get them freaking tickets. We'll be at Parks.

Kisino. And then there's more. dates as well for 2027. Gang, we love you. See you next week. Peace. Two soldiers. Come on, boy. Bonded for life.

When anyone else would quit. It's just you and me, boy. They'll use all their skills to get home. Brad Pitt. Heart of the Beast Friday.