Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Best Mall Food Court! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: DraftKings: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code AYG spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Factor: Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/garbage! Promo Code: GARBAGE BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage. Promo Code: GARBAGE Gambling Problem? Call one eight hundred GAMBLER, one eight hundred MY RESET. Connecticut: call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven, visit CCPG dot org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at d k n g dot c o slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now,

we're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonial Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, all tickets available at RUGarBogbage.com. If you got a garbage question, come out and see the boy. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R.U. Garbage. Oh, yeah. It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians. and we find that it has to be classy.

Yeah. I have to just a big whole piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trulley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs doing some chin-ups. Okay. She's got the bar crushing it out.

What she's doing? Overhand or Underhand? Under baby. She's got it. She has Cape Fear written on her knuckles, too. Fair enough, good movie. Mike Coes is coming out from across the table. This is what we call a family episode, just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.

Just the way we like it. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is my best pal in the whole wide world. Here we go. And I love him. I'd do anything for this guy. Yeah, right. Except treat me nice.

Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. How are you, gang? Thanks a lot. Henry, good the fucking see you. Call me by my Christian name. Nice to meet you, Mr. Foley. Inmate number 7-9, 4-3.

What? What? First of all, shout out to the motherfucking homies and bozos. Yes. For tuning in. Listen, the special has dropped. and there's a fucking motor on it, gang. Let's go.

Over a quarter million of first day. The army of garbage has shown the fuck up. Shout up to allie. We can't thank you enough. Yes. If you haven't already, if you're an audio listener, whatever,

whatever, please go check out our special on our YouTube channel. American Garbage. Share with the friend. Throw it in the group chat. Throw a story up. We fucking love you. Thank you so much.

Really bootstrapping this freaking thing to get it up and get it. Grass roots. Grass roots. Old school. Old school, baby. I'm old school, Janice. Yeah, we do it.

Talk about it at the water cooler or something. Tell people in the office. Get it going. I'm trying to get a season two around here. You know what I mean? Let's do this. Yeah. So, but honestly, the response has been awesome.

Fantastic. It's been really cool. A lot of comics reaching out. They're like, you wouldn't expect watching it. Sure. Hey, watch it last night. Blah, blah, blah. We're on the road.

We watch it. So it was all very cool. It makes me feel nice and warm and fuzzy. It's a nice product. Very nice. Very proud of it. Shout out to Connor Kelly and all the fucking boys. that helped on it.

And also, shout out to the good folks of Tampa that came out and shared your insanely dirtbag stories and let us put it out for, you know, hundreds of thousands of people. I feel bad, though. We missed one in the credits, though. Who? Slide camera operator. I don't know. You were on there, no?

I was in the producer. He's a producer. That's part of the producer. You got to wear multiple hats. The thing wouldn't have took it off without the slide cam, Luke? He got screwed on that deal. instrumental into the transitions. Yeah.

Luke got to work one of the big boy cams and was, you know, really went to his head. But like the rest of his responsibilities. Did you like your headset? You had your headset on. I love that. It was the training wheels of cameras. Yeah. No, we know.

I wasn't paying them to give you a good camera. There was no way. Yeah, to fuck that up. Yeah. But I loved it. Good shit. American Garbage, baby. Checking the freak out.

All that being said, I got a little something I wanted to get into. Lay it on me. I was, uh, I had a, I had a wedding last week and I needed a last, I needed a last minute shirt. So I went to, I needed a shirt. My wife needed something. Because you don't do button downs. I take it from Sal Vacano. I'm done with shirt and tie.

Would you have a T-shirt? No, I did like a knitted, uh, collar? Yeah, like a knitted polo kind of. I got you. Nice. Nice. Real noise. Tucked in?

Went no tuck. Looked better untucked. If I'm being on it. And not in like a... Yeah, it just, it fell perfectly. Look it's here. Also, my suit, no belt. Just them little fucking side johns.

No belt loops on it. That's a real European or something. No belt. Yeah. Which made me, no. Which it just has like these like poltad. Like these old school like belt and, you know, like a sailor would wear. You must have been sagging.

No, I was all right. I was real nervous, though. What does that do for your... No, Bill? What's that do for your confidence? Not a lot. I would freak the fuck out. Not a lot.

Yeah. What you say? Diper butt. Probably look good for the first five minutes. Well, that's what happens with the shirt and tie with a guy my size. And, like, and my wife's like, no, the shirt and tail is going to. I'm like, it pulled there. And then you add in eight buttons and then tuck that in.

There's too much pulling. The fabric gets... I pull. I'm too... I even do this in my sleeves come up. up here. It's like a bad look. A sweat. Yeah. That neck doesn't button right either.

Looks like I'm working in fucking, you know, want to makers. It's, I look like a schmuck, a schmendrick. But, so I had to go get it. I was trying to find a shirt. Typical me is like fucking the weddings in like, you know, eight hours. And I'm like trying to hit stores to find. That's the kind of thing that sucks about shopping now. Like you can obviously get anything delivered to you in 48 hours.

But if you need something in six hours, your options are fucking zilch. Looking around. Burlington Coat Factory. And you're going to me and then you're going to do you guys have the is? And they're like, I don't think so. I always get fucked on the seasons. You know what I mean? Sure.

We don't have any of that stuff anymore. It's whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, fuck. I need a goddamn bathing suit. In January. So I went, you know, we had to go to the mall. Went to the mall.

This is day of. This is day before. Okay. But I did the thing where I saw a couple I liked online. I was going to order. but I didn't and then I'm like, you're really at the, yeah. Went to them all. Macy's?

Went to Tried Macy's. Dude, you go into a department. This is just a, this isn't even part of the thing. It's just of the times. We were in a, we were in a Bloomingy's. Really? Which it's like, to me, going into Bloomingdale's before, we'd be like walking into the bank vault.

Like you had to have clearance. We did not belong there. You have a suit on. You get lunch. We didn't even like exit through there. I never, I honestly, I don't think I went into a Bloomingdale's until I was probably 30. Really? In New York.

We always walked through the nice store. My, none of my- Felt Rich walked through the perfume department. None of my malls had it. Really? Uh-uh. The closest one would have been Willa Grove. Huh.

Oxford Valley and Nishamini didn't have the big, the best thing they were doing was, I mean, Nishamini was a boss gobs. That was why I was the big angry. Yikes. Uh, I think they had a Macy's tour, or strawberries or something. Had a Caldor back when I was banging. But. Uh, yeah, we never, so I didn't know.

To me, that was like... Bloomingdale's. Bloomingdale's was like sex in the city. You know what I mean? You go to Bloomingdale's. Um, you go into any department, so I had to go to the bathroom in Bloomingdale's, and they were like, oh, it's on the third or fourth floor.

They're like empty vacant space. Back in the alley, fucking fluorescent lights. I'm like, yeah, keep going down air. Fuck that. It's just like, it's bad. Retail in the U.S. is in the big, bad shape. Bad news. But I went to an express.

I ended up finding a nice shirt to express. Okay. Shout out to express. Nice. Okay. There you go. But I went to try it on. I don't like trying stuff on, but I went to try it on because I don't really have time.

You know what I mean? It's like I just have, this has to get it. You don't have time. For it to not work. Sure. You know what I mean? Why do you want to express? What?

Pretty good. A bad joke. Shark, double that. Would you have just rolled the dice and grabbed it and rolled? No. Uh. If I had another time to go out and get it You would have.

I would have. But I'm not going to go home and then I'd have to drive back to the mall and get it. So I was like, let me just try it on. You got a true classic on it. Dude, I'm waiting to, I'm waiting to their, they're all combined, the fitting rooms. It used to be by gender.

That's no longer the case. It's like a goddamn orgy in there. You know what I mean? Like swinger party. People sitting in the middle. Like a key party. Yeah, it's crazy. I'm a little bit of fucking privacy here.

You know what I mean? There's three or four rooms. That's it. Right. For like the whole fucking men's and women's departments. I'm waiting. A woman comes out and they go, oh, you can go in here. She had a sack full of Wendy's food in there with her.

Really? Which, one, you're walking around the mall with active. active fast food in the mall It's crazy She used to be a nice That was a classy joint A young cool store She wasn't eating

She was just maybe taking it home I mean she was slurves She was sipping her drink Obviously if you get the drink And you're not You don't rip into the food You have a couple of sips But I felt

Like I was Once I got in there I immediately closed the door There's no ventilation I felt like I was in the Wendy's bad dude It was I felt It was greasy. It was bad.

Yikes. But it's just like that's where we're at now. Yeah. Why not eat it? I don't get, eat it at the food court. I'm okay with getting it and eating it. The heathens walking around.

Well, you're shopping for clothes. With a bag of Wendy's. With an active bag of Wendy's. Man. I'll give you some Annie Ann's. You walk around with some nuggets, something like that.

A snack. Sure. This was like, this wasn't just like it. This was like the big, like the 8 by 10 bag. crushing a burger in there. And they never have handles so it just looks even track.

You're like it's at the top, you know, like you're an old bank robber or something. There's a bunch of cash in there. That's fucked up. Yeah, it was great. It felt gross. It felt disgusting. Shirt fit? Shirt fit looked good.

There you go. Well, with a large. Shirt's not bad. When you got to do pants and stuff like that, I hate that. It all sucks. I take my shoes off and all that shit. I hate it. I like I have my buy, like there's something.

in my chromosomes. It's like from being a fat kid my whole life. And then it's just like nothing ever fit and I never liked the way I look so I hate like. It's like a bad physical reaction because I'm like I'm going to look like the fat. I'm just going to sit here and look at my fat. Oh, something gets hot in there and sticking.

Stomach starts hurting and feet start going and shit. Fuck that. Brutal. But all that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you're doing the old Patreon, I will answer your garbage question. on the air.

That's American garbage, folks. On YouTube. Check it out. Things cooking. Yes, yes, yes. Let's see here. This one's a great name. This is from Butcheeks McGee.

When's the first time you cursed in front of adult? When I was 13, my buddy's dad let us have a beer in the garage while he showed off his camaro. And I said, this thing's bitching. He looked at me and said, we don't talk like that here. That always sucks. when the other family have like their rules that weren't yours sure fucking if you were a little trashier but it's also you're sitting there having a beer with a guy you're showing you're camaro you can't say bitching come on bitching pitties ass you have a couple of me being something yeah

yeah because you know for sure there's some fucking you know there was some scantily clad calendar or something hanging out yeah what the fuck uh that's i am the king of that though that my whole life I've been the guy who gets a little like if I go oh this is a little too comfortable a little too comfortable a little too quick yeah I always I always we're not that kind of family I yelled one time in my buddy's house like walking up to stairs I like yeah yelled and his mom goes we don't yell in this house what the fuck lady this is Christ make you feel like a dirt bag yeah I was always I was always pretty good at towing the line of like hey what I I would read it and just go, this is, I was always like very respectable and go, this is it. But then the second you gave me, we're 13 cracking a beer. I'm one of the guys. Yeah, you're smoking in the living room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going through the fridge. Uh-huh. We were all, we always cursed. We were allowed to curse. Not fuck, but pretty much anything else. Mm-hmm. I curse a lot to my mom now.

A lot. Oh, me too. I talked to my mom like she's a fraternity brother. Yeah, yeah. Fucking let her have it. I said dickhead the other day that didn't feel great. To your mom? Well, not to my mom, to my sister.

You called your sister a dickhead? No. I think I was talking about you. For being, we're calling balls and strikes here. Should have saw that coming. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't going to say, but you're really prying. Yeah. There's nothing I won't say in front of my mom.

And that's how I like it. That's how I want it. That makes sense. Right? it fly. Call me a fucking dickhead. Bullshit. It did not stop there.

All right. This one's from ambulance chaser. Did your mom let you bring a water gun to a public pool? That was a different kind of kid. Yeah. Either the rich kid or a bad kid. Did you hit the wave of like super soakers and stuff like that? Yeah.

Was there a water gun phase? The super soaker probably hit when I was of eight, like prime right? That was in the early 90s, no? The original one was me when I was in like fourth or fifth grade. Oh. I believe so. It says the first Super Soaker went on sale in 1990. Yeah.

Huh. Yeah, that was prime. Because the engineer built the first prototype in 1982. He also, I think, built something out for something. No, I think he leased it out and like made a bagillion, but I think he also built something. He's like a nerdy black dude. Yeah, Lonnie Johnson. Lonnie Johnson.

What a name. Shout out Lonnie in the 80s. Let's go. Yeah. Served in the U.S. Air Force, and he worked at NASA's jet propulsion laboratory. Oh, Jesus Christ. And he's making the super suit. Super Soaker.

Let's go. Yeah, we were a Super Soaker. I had the standard green one, like the Super Soaker 100 or whatever. Wasn't that it? I think they were like, they were buying numbers. And then it got to like the 3,000. Then I remember mid, this is early on in the divorce. This one of the first things I really.

through, you know, pinned them against each other. Sure. Was I wanted the big super, the big backpack, John. Ooh. And my dad got it. And I showed up to my mom's. She was like, what, though? She's like...

At a pool, though, they were kind of useless. You guys had those things that you sucked into the water and... That was still, that was later than me. That was me. Yeah, that was more him. Those things were serious. The stream machine. Yes.

Those things were sick. You would fuck someone. If you got someone up close with those, you'd fuck them up. Yeah. Fucking freaking out. Because you just push it and it was like all that pressure. We were big on water guns last couple of days of school. That was big.

Yeah. Getting a piece through the metal detector at school. Jesus. Getting each other up. Well then they have the game Assassin, like senior year of high school where you like have someone and you have to get them with a water gun. That's been bigger. That was more your guy's stuff.

Assassin. Yeah. Like you're like, hey, I have to get Luke at some point. And it's like a month-long game. Yeah. It's like however it's... And there's rules where you can get people and like you have to get them in the parking lot coming out of like practice or whatever. At their house or something.

You got to get, you know... You can't like fucking run them on a church and, you know, spin the block. But we would do, we would go to the swim club. Those days, I mean, I must have been seven, eight, whatever. Going to like the public pool and like it was... Mayhem. No, but those days. seemed like a hundred each day.

Yeah. I think my mom would like drop us off or take us at like 8 a.m. And then it's just like, you're just like, I'm like like, I feel like I was there for like a day and a half. Hotty shit. Sunburnt. Yeah. Smells like malt vinegar.

And the older kids could leave and walk to Wawa and I wasn't allowed. Man, they would walk by, dude Danny and say they'd all be leaving on their squad. They were probably, you know, 11, 12. Sure. fucking leaving me in the dust. Give me your schittles yourself. Yeah, I'm at defense. They're walking away from me.

Just fucking so pissed. That's awesome. Kim, let's talk about Draft Kings. Draft Kings. Gang, as you know, the weight is over. Football season is back and so is draft Kings. Draft Kings is now live in all 50 states. One app, every sport nationwide.

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This one's from IP4. freely outdated garbagerie. Use ever deposit an envelope full of coins in the ATM in order to withdraw a couple of bills. I didn't know you could, that can't be. I've never deposited anything at the ATM. I started doing checks. Really?

Yeah. Is it available immediately? Uh, no. Maybe like, I think they give you like the 200 or what, like the standard, whatever that is anymore. But once Moab, once the phones came out. Oh, yeah. That was.

but I would, I've definitely done checks in ATMs. Deposit a check in the ATM. I never, I mean, I just started doing that later in like comedy. You know what I mean? I wouldn't trust it. I want to tell her. Yeah, I never knew you could do that. Yeah, and I also never, I don't think I ever deposited a check.

I always cashed it right away. Always. And if I didn't have an account, I'd go to the bank that the check was written. Oh, yeah. They were like, you don't have an account here. But what is your checks written on this? They charge you $10. bucks.

Fucking dickheads. Yeah. Not every place. I mean, yeah. That was always big. It says they give you about 200 to 500 instantly when you deposit the check. Hmm. If you have, a lot of times if you have that, which we never, we never had it.

I'd have $32 in there depositing a $400 check and they go, maybe we'll give you $100. At midnight it'll switch over. If it was written, so like I had TD. So if it was written, it was a TD account, it was either like one day or maybe even Like, they could check immediately to see if the funds were available to draw it off of. Catch a Wachovia check. You're fucked. Wait in two weeks for Sandan Terre to fucking clear.

Like flying a club. Yeah, that was, uh, that was tough. I learned that shit early and often. Especially come the first of the month in New York when rents do, I get my check. Go to my guy's bank. It was a Chase bank, the guy I worked for. Cash it there. Go over to TD deposit it.

cash today. I need to draw off on this today. Patty was big on the drive-thru with the thing that went up. Yeah. If I was my dad. Yeah. Could never figure out how the fuck that worked.

It was weird. Air. Air. I'd send you back up a lolly. Lonnie Jenkins figured it out. NASA propulsion. Yeah, that's a...

That was... That's real dirtbag economics. You figure that's stuff out now I let but now it's like it's all Venmo and cat like there's even ways to hack it that way that I just don't sure I've I haven't really needed to I'm a big instant transfer kind of guy still yeah of course give it to me it's my money and I need it's three days floating around out there who the fuck knows what can happen mm-hmm get the fuck out of here uh this one's great this room knack knack patty whack you ever leave sigs out in the sun to dry after they got wet

pro move got to do it really you've never done that never tasted the same. No. I can't smoke a wet sig. You need to do it. If I've ever, yes, if I, my only thing was wet sigs. Man, I can't. Yeah, well.

Taste it brutal. I didn't let, yeah. They get that stain on them? The brown stain. Oh. Yeah. Vicious. Mm-hmm.

That, somebody, I don't think we ever did it, microwaved them for like 10s, five seconds at a time to dry them off. Hmm. Otherwise, it starts to cook, but I think I, I think we learned that when Somebody would do a blunt, like a blunt got wet or something. Yeah. Yeah, blunt to the microwave out. And you can, like, dry it out or so.

I don't even remember. Dry out the weeds, you can break it up. Yeah, people do that with, like, the backwood wraps. Like, they'll, like, completely soak them in water and then microwave them. And I, it's something. Yeah. After you roll it. No, before.

Huh. Yeah, to, like, dry it out and then roll it. Hmm. I remember when blunt, I mean, I wasn't, but when blunt, blunt wraps hit. It used to be Philly. Philly Blunt. Then Dutch is. Then white owls.

And then they just started selling blunt raps And I was like, we are in the future The first time I saw brown, like weed wrappers I was like, holy shit, that's fucking genius. Wait, that's what we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. But like, what's the company? Like zigzag will just have the wraps, yeah.

Yeah. Cutting out the fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing as the white owl where it's just like the rap paper, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clear tube. Yeah. The tubes, dude.

There wasn't a fucking car I got into from 2002 to 2008. They didn't have the orange, the perp dude. A grape white owl was like, yeah, we're running to Exxon. Get me great white owls. White great whiteout. White great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, dude.

And then like that was always immediately followed by like someone spitting out a seed or You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? Scooby snack. Oh, dude. I hate it Blunts. Just, dude, that's, we would just, we had nothing to do.

I mean, I'm sure we did. Let me correct that. The kids who were contributing members of society were doing good stuff. We were just riding around like a fucking Bonneville. Just fucking baking out. Just driving into the woods. Just going, yeah, going to Blunt cruise. A blunt's like a bottle of champagne to Stoners.

It's like this special event. It is. Yeah. I had to put the right music on. Like how, yeah, pumped this, yeah, 50 got in, you know, new mixtape. A DJ Who Kid mixtape just dropped or a Green Lantern mixtape. My boy, my boy J. Mills got a fucking white, and I didn't even smoke. I would just get high in the backseat of a car going to drop me off.

This sucks. Stunk, man. Stunk. Stunk. Instant paranoia. Second-an hot box eye is no joke either. If you don't smoke weed. I didn't know I could go, hey man, just pick me up.

after like I thought you're left out of the group yeah yeah if you missed the fucking blunt circle you might as well fucking be a transfer student I think you're a cop that stunk dude so much of my life I don't know why we thought that was

cool we were always trying to be older sure it was cool I don't know smoking blunts in a car is cool I mean when you're 16 at that age

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Up and 50 cent. For us it was Cypress Hill. Sticking it from the bar. Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah. I remember my buddy's dad had a thing as easy.

What are the easy widers? Easy widers. He had a dispit. He had, like, opened up this drawer in his bedroom and he had, like, the dispenser. stuck to the side. Stuck to the side. You would pull out like a whole pack. And I went, that was in the,

that was a fucking surgeon or something like that, too. Jesus Christ. I was like, what the hell? Remember he took us to a farm one time? He was like, this is where I grow my vegetables. I'm like, dude, you're high right now. And you're a doctor. This is crazy.

Growing in Cheba. Yeah. That's wild. That's where I learned it was a, it was this, like a big faux pot to wear shorts riding, riding a motorcycle. You can burn yourself. Yeah, you fall. It's like, that's why you wear,

leather it's like an extra set of skin or whatever you know what I mean it's like and he was like you see that there that's the cardinal sin that guy's not a real biker or something like that where would why is this the farm this was the world's most interesting man by the way where was the farm I don't know why was it at the farm that you would ride motorcycles out there no I wouldn't we were dry he was driving us to his farm now I'm looking he was just maybe just selling weed or growing weed but we were driving out to his farm and we were next to a motorcycle and the guy was wearing like cut off fucking denim, like a cut off jean short.

He's like this guy's a pussy. While we were on like a fucking Ford Windstar or whatever. Go to look at vegetables. I'm fucking rolling a blunt. That's funny. All right, let's see here. This one's from

Craig with a K. What a name. Craig with a K. Dirt bag shit, dude. Oh, Craig with a K. Craig, K-R-A-I-G. Craig's tough anyway. Craig's all right. Craig's old school.

I like a Greg. Sure. Craig or Greg? I don't know. Every Greg I knew was a fucking dirtbag. Yeah. Yeah, I'll give you that. Greg.

It'll be a manager's name. Sure. Fucking Greg. Greg's fucking working today. Fuck. Such a dickhead. Is it garbage to name your first born child? not in honor of your father's name,

but his preferred beer of choice. Lady I know named her daughter Millie Lou, M-L, because her dad drank Miller Light. Millie Lou. That's a trashy name, too. I mean, she's probably a sweet girl, but Millie, I kind of like Millie.

Yeah, Millie's a good name. But that's Southern shit, right? Like anything with May or Lou. Yeah, but Millie, M-I-L-L-Y. Is that if she's spelling it? No, I-E. Okay, thank God. Amelie, Millie, Amelia, Amelia, Amelia.

Miller would be a good first name for a boy. Yeah, that'd be like real waspy. Oh, this is Miller's Softfoot or something. Miller Foley? Yeah. Miller Thomas Foley? Mm-hmm. You need the third.

Miller Foley doesn't work. Oh. You need like, yeah, Miller. Like a nice name. Yeah. Thomas Foley, yeah. Um, damn, dude. That's...

After a beer. After the beer, her dad drank is crazy. Wild. If you were just like a stone cold alcoholic, you're like, I love, I love MLs. I'm going to name, I'm going to give her, you know, the ML. But the fact that your dad drank it and you're like, this, you would have loved it. That's a middle name to me. What?

Millie. The beer. Hey, my dad loves this beer. We'll do the middle name. Hi, I'm Kevin Mickelow Ryan. It's not Kippie. It's Michelone. Yeah.

My brother, Lowenbrow. Brutal. You love a lowembrow reference. I love a lowembrow reference. Love it. The foil? It's classy. Didn't you say your dad drank?

Oh, Mickelope? No, he's a Mickelope guy. But that had the foil, too. The old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't like foilful, but yeah, yeah, it had the paper around the... Yeah. Which...

In that weird shape. I never saw anybody else to drink. But, like, that was what beer was as a kid. As a kid. It was like beer. Mickelope is beer. And then when they dropped that, it's not beer. It's Mickalob.

I remember me and Pat got a hold of that. That campaign. It's not beer. It's a mickleob. A couple of mix. Let's go. The Mick Ulchers, by the way. Let's see here.

Also, this is this class of your trashy. The wedding I was at, my cousin shot at the Mikey. They had the Guinness cans that they would put, like the draft cans. So you could get like, I guess because you probably can't. It'd be tough to, like, do drafts, like actual drafts of Guinness. The bartender would pop them open and pour them for you? Yeah. Huh.

Felt a little bit above. Felt not. It's, you know, I don't know. It's the classiest way to do it without a proper tap. Yeah, if you don't have a tap. Yeah. That makes sense. And you need the special Guinness Tap, preferably, which is hard to come by.

Sure. You got to do, like, a proper Irish bar. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tough call. I never liked the cans, though. Never came out the same. I don't know if I ever. I still don't understand.

It's like nitro in there or something. I don't get it. I don't know. I have no idea. Vinny with the skinny started drinking. We were like fucking 19. I'm like, that's crazy. Anybody drinking dark beer when you were a kid?

Crazy. Dricking a porter? What the fuck? Wild. That shit was so foreign to me. Because nobody I knew drank even decent beer. Like beer was Coorslight or Mickelob. So then like when people started drinking like the chamois and like I'd like,

Shamee. Flipping. Flipping is fucking crunchy. Way too young people started doing that shit. Like in our 20s people were doing it. That was like a. Get the fuck. Yeah.

That was when you were like trying to figure out You thought that was your person out Sure Oh yeah, I'll do the shamey blue I just want to chill out Have some shamee I'm like you're just fucking smoking a blunt Listen to 50 cents shut

You're fucking fucked up That was honey brown To us There was a micro brew called honey brown Yeah It's like a dark beer Oh that are a fucking Newcastle People would do Newcast

It's like drinking pennies Get the fuck out of here Fuck that Newcastle I don't think I ever really did that where I tried to make it my Your thing the kind of beat like like oh I'm the guy who drinks this it's always been like When I got big I'd be like any IPA like you know oh we got IPAs ago great I don't fucking care I tried to be a bass guy for a little while oh and I had a bad allergic reaction to one

By a whole face wall up done that happened to me dude I think my brother came home and there was like some beers and I had a Miller light and it was like I was like first time like drinking with like my fat like first time they were like here some beer like I was probably young

but trying again trying to be cool had probably drank a couple of times and it was like yeah I have a couple like they came home early and they like yeah party didn't pan out but they had like a 12 pack or whatever case of Miller Light I drank two and my neck broke out

and like all blotchy pods dude I'm gonna die oh god dude trying to fucking trying to be cool and just not just not cool drinking out of a champagne glass

that and what one time we were driving down the shore again probably fuck man we were young probably 13 or 14 and we asked my sister if we could smoke in the car I remember yeah and my

boy got he was found out he was allergic to camel blues he did he turned green her to pull over and threw up on the fucking expressway just like not cool just not cool dude I wonder why that is like why did that

Miller light have an allergic reaction I think I think I was just flying too close to my body wasn't that cool you know what I mean it was I wasn't ready for the situation. It was probably nerves. Anxiety. Yeah, probably that's what I'm saying.

That's probably like, oh, dude, I got to get married now. You're going to get divorced. I got to do this. I got to get a job. Don't butcher this, dude. You're hanging with the cool kids. Running with the big dogs now. That's funny.

Yeah, it was tough. All right, let's see. This one's from Alex. I never have one read. Luke. It's actually, I picked the questions, but you can yell at Luke. I appreciate it. I like what Luke gets pinned on for things.

probably Luke is it garbage to walk through the front lawn grass instead of walking on the concrete walkway to the front door of a house this is very situational great for the show yeah

I always say this fuck the lawn fuck your mulch not walking around to the fucking walkway can't walk on the grass I don't you gotta really have a nice lawn

I don't think it's not I remove the ability to walk remove like I don't think anybody doesn't want you to walk on the grass right Luke like I'm never anywhere no one's like do make sure you don't walk on the grass no one's ever said that well that would be the reason why would no I mean I to me I interpreted this as is it like lazy and trashy to oh cut through yeah versus like if you're going over to like a party to let's see you're going to like a I think if you're walking through the front yard and not on the walkway to a dinner

Sure, with like nice slacks on and shoes. Yeah, with your wife and you got a bottle of wine, that feels... Got trimmings all over your shoes. Yeah, exactly. You come in all fucking... Oh, you were golfing? Yeah, that's a bit of a tougher... That's a tougher look, I feel, yeah.

I love that, cutting to the yard. Yeah, it is trashy, though. It is. Because it's like your duck going... Walk on a walk. What are you doing? Not even... I don't think anybody would complain.

you immediately get in trouble that's what you go to your head someone yelling at you somebody did yell at me when I was a little kid he was seating his lawn and I walked through his lawn he's like you ever walking that lawn again I'll beat your ass Jesus Christ buddy overreaction yeah but you should have

It's also you don't even live in that nice of a neighborhood No this isn't this early 80s Oh that guy's got He was a dickhead bigger issues Yeah I hated that guy Um I always I mean growing up it was always like

If you could cut through someone's There was houses in the neighborhoods that you could cut through or not cut through. Sure. You know what I mean? It was like certain people were cool with it. Certain people were. And now looking back, I kind of understand maybe why people, I wouldn't care, but I'm saying why people wouldn't love it. Don't want you cutting through their lawn.

We would drive, there was this one guy that we always just was a, he was a fucking dickhead. He had a coy pond that he literally. next to, he connected the two neighborhoods. Did he have kids? I don't know. Not that I knew. If they weren't in your crew or they didn't have kids, they were usually fucking...

Dix. Yeah, dicks. But we, dude, I mean, there could be, now looking back, I get that this might have not been like the coolest. It could have been a handful of times a day and summer day. Sure.

Four or five days a week. Little dirt bags cutting through. And that he'd do like six or seven of us, eight of us at a time on bikes. Mm-hmm. We'd fly down this hill. through his driveway. Oh.

Right? This is kind of crazy. Yeah. Through his driveway, down his backyard, was like down a hill. Uh-huh. And then like onto this little like path. Oh, yeah.

And we'd be like, fuck you, dude. Just like not caring. At some point, somebody could have killed a fish or something like that. Well, not even that. Then at one point I was hard up for cash.

I was going to go back and steal those fish because another buddy's dad was like. Jesus is what? Yeah. I was in. college or right out of college. I was really broke. He was...

This guy wanted it was like, I'd love to get a coipon, but the fish are expensive. I go, buddy. How are you going to move him? A glue cooler. No, how are you going to fence him? What you mean? You had a buyer for him? Yeah, my other buddy's dad.

My buddy's dad... He said if you steal him, I'll take him? Yeah, he wanted to buy them, but like a full-grown coyfish is like very... We've talked about this. This is very expensive. A scumbag move. Yeah. The neighbor comes over.

It looks just like Ernie. No, they were, they were different jurisdictions, you know what I mean? They had to get the state he's involved to try to fucking connect the dots. This is all pre-internet. Sure. Not really, but

that's why. The internet was for sure out. Large ones, 15 to 24 inches are five to 500 to $5,000. Yeah. Really? Yeah. And this guy, he was a single dad.

I had some cash. And he like, redid the, like, his backyard and put like a pond in. Sure. And we were like, We were sitting out there drinkies. I was probably not even 21.

He's like, but you need some fucking put some coy in there. He goes, those things are two grand. I go, I'll get you, I'll get you, I'll get you,

a coi fucking 500. Let's go. Me and Vinnie with the Skinny were going to fucking cool the job. Yeah, just do it. That's funny. It was like,

connect, you could get away. We had it. That was when you were like, they were probably going to be tougher to handle than you thought. For sure, but just net them. We had to,

we had it. Vinny with the skinny had the net. We'd have the cooler. I got a gun. Hit the jack. I got to kill Vinny afterwards. Tie up loose ends.

Job goes bad. That always creep me out, coy fish. They're very tranquil. I like them. They're only Japanese, right? Yeah. Oh, freak me out a little bit. Slippery.

Yeah, they're for sure. A little too catfishy for me. Anything that big, I don't trust. But if they're around, you're somewhere nice. Yeah. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. there was a time when I was, we were drinking so much,

where there was like no real responsibility and like the reality is obviously very, you know, like a college summer or something. Sure. Just like, you know, just drinking where I'm like, you could have convinced me to really do some stupid fucking shenanigans.

Sure. Of course. Not even like, yeah, we're like, hey, we're going to do this. I'd be like,

oh, I can see how you get yourself in a bad position. Yeah. Where you're like, ah, listen to too much 50 cent. A little too much 50 cent. You got your hang with a kid from the wrong side of the track trying to gash you up a little bit. You make, you make, you know, one or two bad, bad choices. Would the guy yell at you when you were going through?

Yeah, we always fucking hated it. But now I'm going like, yeah, I guess you kind of didn't like 15 guys on Huffies rolling through. I mean, honestly, like a week, it might have been. 30, 40 people like on bikes, like repetitively. If that was happening at your place, would you be cool with it? That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't, I think you would eventually go, like, guys, this is a bit excessive me. I don't know.

I can, I can kind of see how you'd go. Sure. It's a lot of people on your property a lot. And maybe if he, I don't know if he had like a younger kid or so. I forget, but I can see, I can see the other side of this year. Yeah, it makes sense. But back then you'd give a fuck. Fuck you.

You live and you learn. Let's go. Kim, let's talk about square. Square. Gang, support for today's episode come from Square. The system pounding like half the places I go. If you're ever tapped to pay and thought, wow, what is it? That was fast.

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There's one on the board. Do you and me, big guy? Is it garbage if most of your tools have come from a breakdown lane on 95? I just found a DeWalt battery last week. I don't have the drill yet, but I will someday. That's pretty good. Yeah. I guess that was that shit, fall off the trucks and stuff?

Yeah. If you're fixing something on the side of the road. Oh, yeah. Scoop it up. I mean, yeah, it's very trashy, but why not? I don't ever remember my dad buying any new tools, really, until like the 2000s. They were always borrowed or old or something. Never any fresh stuff.

We were just, we were different because my dad had a construction. My stepdad had a construct. So it was like, you know, our houses, our garages were extensions of the company. Do you guys have like a drill when you were young? No, but also we never had that shit at the house. It was like, I'll bring it home. I'll bring one home from work. At the shop.

You know what I mean? It was like, it was all the, you know, we never like. We were a screwdriver family. Oh. Brutal. Burrudal. The difference that made having a little drill. Oh, yeah.

We didn't know. We never. It's like bringing home an industrial kitchen, though, to like solve like. That's what we do. Dude, I remember my dad had this toolbox. Get the jackhammer. I think it was like a ratchet set toolbox. The tool, it was one of those metal,

looked like an old lunch panel from like the 50s. You know what I mean? Like the big, it was like this big, like a craftsman. Yeah. Probably 24 inches long, eight inches deep.

Ratchits. Big metal, fucking had the big red tray in there. And I remember this thing had to be about 75 pounds. Sure. I thought, what? Who the fuck is carrying us to work everything?

Ratchets escape my mind so much. I could not wrap my head around what the fuck they were for or fucking how they were used. Sure. I mean, we, yeah, get my ratchet set. Get my Ratch 716 Ratch set. We always had one, but never used it for anything. We were always missing ratchets. No, we learned ratchets.

And then I skateboarded so we would use the ratchet to get the, the ball, like to get the wheels off and stuff like. That was my, like, that was like our first car. Hmm. Because, like, I couldn't really, I wasn't really handy, but like, I'm like, I'll do the trucks myself. And then to put the bearings in the wheels, It was real hard.

So you had to take one of the ratchets matched up identically with, forget the size, but identically with the ball bearing. Like so you couldn't just press the ball bearing in the wheel. Really? It was too snug. Huh. So you have to use like a fucking shit ton of pressure. So you would put a ratchet that like fit on top of it.

Right. And then hit it with a hammer to get it in there. That's pretty good. Yeah. So we would do that. So we like really found that was like my, I'm like, Okay, guys can't hang out tonight. Got us swapping the trucks out.

That's real mechanic shit. Got a new set of lucky Swiss bearings. Ball bearings. Pretty good. Yeah. Me and my boy Liam would just take out our bearings and like wash them in WD40 to put them back in. Rotate the wheels. His dad had a little shop like a shed and he had a vice in there.

So we'd put the board in the vice. Vices were nice. Got one of those. you were all right. It'd be cold in there. We'd be in like our jackets, like closed the door. I had a little window. It was like, it was like, we were in there.

He's like, hey, you know, hand me there. I'm like looking through inventory, looking for stuff. We were running. Now, bring the board over. We'll do the bearings. Take care of it. Yeah. Take care of it.

Yeah. Take care. Sit down. Have a cup of coffee. The boys will get you. That's funny. What's the rush? Is this thing inspected?

You know what I mean? All right. All right. Let's see. This one's from great name. Chicken Parmaceuticals. Let's go. Great fucking name.

Very good. Great name. $10 blue collar, love to specie. Thank you, sir. Thanks, buddy. Are you garbage if you make chocolate milk for your cereal? I'm talking, pouring the syrup over the cereal, then adding milk. That's, I don't know.

I mean, that's more of like a dessert to me. I mean, there's a logical answer. If it's a chocolate or peanut butter cereal, sure. But if you're doing that to fruity pebbles, that's insane. Sure. I mean, I think flavor aside. I think it's trashy. Of course.

I don't think you should be... Also, that's like the... To me, that would be like... The trashier way to make it. To me, if you made it like a chef where you're like, I'm going to make the chocolate milk. And then pour it over the cereal. Like, I'm going to make the bait.

I'm going to make the broth. You know what I mean? Like how a chef goes. I'm making a sauce over here. Then I'm doing it. And then I'm combining the things I made. If you did that, I'd go... I give it to you.

Today we're doing a whole milk. What a Hershey syrup. But, in the... If it's a chocolate cereal, it always made chocolate milk anyway. Of course. Which I thought was the best. Like a cocoa puffs milk at the end? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go. Let's go. A couple times I got into a fucking couple bowls of cereal this summer where I just like fucking. I just can't. I got a handcuff myself. It's just bad. Eat the whole box. Yeah.

Just crush it. and it's one of those things where I know I got to start eating it quicker before the feeling hits me where I don't want anymore you know what I mean? Because I want to eat as much as possible but I know my body is... What are you doing? What cereal?

It was cinnamon toast crunch. Huh? Down ashore. They had the kids have it. Yeah. I'll give you that. My niece walked up. She's got to be about, I don't know.

Eight. And she was like, oh, and like she then grinned grabbed the box and was like, this is mostly gone. I said, who the fuck? What the fuck? But they had got it. They bought it that night, like it was the next morning.

So she knew she, for her, they brought down a fucking chock full box. Yeah, it's spilled. What the fuck do you want? Yeah, I'm like, what the dog got it? She goes, how much did you eat, Uncle? I said, what the fuck? What the fuck? I gave it to the baby.

The baby was eating it. What the fuck? I know. Fat ass. I know. I know. I turned into an eight-year-old and she was bullying me.

Like I immediately regressed. I'll fight you right now. I will fight you. Start crying. Yeah, that's brutal. Tough, tough look. That's funny. All right, let's see here.

This one's from Marcus. $10 homie, but still a bozo. That's a great tagline right there. This is really just a statement. Mom owned the pawn shop named Cash Cow. I'd wear a cow costume and shake a we buy gold sign. Man.

That's a family business right there. I don't, I want to, I have so many follow up. What age was that happening? Sure. Where is it? Because pawn shops are rarely in decent neighborhoods. Not next to a Bloomingdale's. Not next to a Bloomingy's.

You can, I have, he was too close to a highway to be a kid. Does that make sense? Sure. That was if, that was a main thoroughfare. You know what I mean? There was a couple of DeWalt back. batteries on the side of that. For sure.

There's a couple of... Probably a porn store somewhere in the vicinity. Sure. Yeah, that's dangerous. I always gauge that. Anytime I go back to, like, my mom's, like, you go back to bucks or whatever. You can always gauge a town. And it's a very Pennsylvania thing, and I don't know why, but the tobacco stores.

There's, like, the SIG outlets or something, they had... They had... I don't know if it was like some sort of lull or bypass that they could, you know, but they were never in... like a regular shopping center They're always by themselves It was like a pizza hut or something It was always weird to go in there

Nobody bought Sigs from there You go to Wawa Uh huh That's it That's the weird guy that bought him there And they were always by Jersey Because I guess the taxes were higher In Jersey so they would come over

Like they were always by the river Fuck that I never understood And like this is coming from like someone Who my dad smoked And my stepdad smoked And my stepmom My whole entire life

Couldn't catch him dead there No one ever went I'm going to pop in here and grab a pack of SIG. So it was always like this obscure. Like are you buying a bunch? It felt like it was like people were coming from other places. Buying cartons or something. Or buying loose tobacco.

Yeah. Yeah. Never. That and state minimum was always big. Wawa always had Sigs at state minimum. Or a lot of places would go Marlboro Lights, state minimum. Marlboro Reds, Winston's state minimum. Because a lot of times with the taxes, a state would apply taxes.

Right. certain taxes like this is how much of this is how much of heater family I come from that's why in New York they go get them in like Virginia and shit like that

sure but certain states so like I think let's say this is maybe not this is maybe 10 15 years ago Pennsylvania added like a $2 tax to a pack of cigarettes or a dollar tax some of those taxes

you can pass off to the customer and some you can just eat right And like Wawa was at one point eating the tech because they were like we don't fucking care We'll get in here for Sigs we'll say you're shisley Gagascat this get that yeah So that's what they were like oh that's why it was like go to Wawa Go to Wawa they're eating the tax for you that's how good that company is

Yeah Yeah That's trashy shit Dude I went into a fucking Wawa the other day told my shiny healthy told myself I wasn't going to dance with the devil I was not going to get a sizzly I was going to get their egg bites I've been big on the egg bites and well docked. No egg bites cooking.

Yeah, give me the mozzarella sticks. Due to the clasie, did the gobbler. So I grab a, I dance in your world for, they don't even have that many sandwiches, but I'm already, I walked in, eat, I'm going to eat. So now I can't, I didn't have the willpower

at the moment to walk out. That's just me who I am. So what did you get? They had the double bacon croissant. The croissant stinks. What? It stinks. It's all croissant.

It's the craziest thing I've ever heard. You're just tasting like fucking bad butter and croissette. Their bagels stink. I'm not saying they're good, but you taste the sandwich as a whole. I want the egg, cheese, and meat is the main thing I'm going from there. Otherwise, I'm just tasting the buttery croissant. I just get a, I go to a predomanger or something if I was going to be a little. I like the buttery croissant.

But I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'd go to a fide siouxie croissant. But I'm just, I'd go to a fide. checking out and she goes, it's I'm ringing you up for a hash brown. It's free hash brown day. If you buy a sandwich in any coffee, it's free hash brown day.

So you can take it or you cannot take it. It's completely up to you. I said, lady, what the fuck? Why'd you fucking tell me that? Yeah. Give me 12 hash browns. I know. I'll take three more sandwiches. Free hash brown day. What the fuck? Yeah. And state minimum?

I'm not going to the fucking tobacco store Like a loser I know things coming up Kippy But that was like a fuck I'm like god damn dude This is That's the devil That's the devil out there

That's what I'm telling you I don't care Being a fat kid Your whole life waking up Trying to make the right choice I was gonna have those egg bites I was gonna come home I was gonna go for a run

Never had a shot That did not happen No Did not happen Nice four hour nap All that for something Burrudes Mgoots.

All right, let's see here. We've got time for one or two more. Hit me. This one is from, this one is just funny. Good name. $10 Bozo. What inning is appropriate to upgrade your seats at a ball game? I say you got to wait until at least the fourth,

but according to my dad, quote unquote, if they ain't here for the anthem, they don't deserve those seats. Now, when we say upgrade, we're talking about stealing seats closer. Moving forward. Anthem, that's crazy. That's wild word. You'll get embarrassed. You got to wait till like the fifth or sixth inning.

But here's the thing. I think if you're willing to do that, you can't be in, but you don't give a fuck. Yeah. Just move. Just go, I didn't know. Oh, this ain't section 119? I could never do that. It's tough for me.

My anxiety would never let me do it. Yeah. We did it all the time with my dad. Really? Yeah. Huh. Would you wait until the people that were in those seats leave? No, that happened a couple times, but it was mostly just like second or third inning.

And we would just go get hot dogs. And then it was like, all right, my dad would be like, I think those ones are good. Second or third inning? Traffic and shit like that? Yeah, but third inning, I'll give you. He said fourth. I would say fourth is safe. Is the admirable thing.

Not the anthem. The anthem's crazy. That's wild. Batting practice? Yeah. These are ours right here. They kind of put the kibosh on that now. You can't really do that.

Well, there's a lot of those chaperones or those ushers or whatever. And they know. But I went to the fucking, I went to a World Cup game. And like a lot of times just go, they'll go, let me see your ticket. I'm sitting in 114. They go, okay, right down there to the left. Like, no one checked my ticket at all, really. A lot of times, there is the kind of thing of just act like you belong there.

Sure. You know, and like, if you're fucking your stumble or something. Your eyes are darting, you're going to go, this is not meanful. You're a fucking section 218 guy. Hold it there, fat boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't belong down here in the ones. But we also, when we would do events, my dad would get like free tickets or like a supply, like,

in good seats. We never, we also never went like, hey, you know what? Let's go to a ball game this week. Never scalped? We did. Oh, for sure. But I would do that. We would also do like, uh, uh, my dad would go, I got tickets to the Flyers game tomorrow night.

And that's what we would. It would be like somebody from like some big plumbing company would be like, hey, here's so many tickets because you bought 50 toilets this month or something like that. Yeah. So that we would get good corporate-esque seats. Spur of the moment. Spur of the moment, yeah. Which was like, now that I have a kid, I want to live more of that life.

Because at some time those tickets were like kind of coming in pretty flush. I think when business was good. And it would be like a Wednesday, but we're going to the game. I'd be like, We're going to get in the car. We're driving to South Philly. We're going to be like 11 o'clock. When things got kind of tough, that fun.

I'd be like, you want to go to, you be like, well, you can go three months on a Saturday and you never go. Or we'll say a lot of, we'll see. You know what I mean? You're not expensive that is. You got parking all that stuff. The vibes changed a lot on the spur of the moment fun. Yeah.

You know. The snap on tickets dried up. Guys are a fucking dickhead anyway. Yeah, that's stuff. That's funny. And then like, I was only through my dad. My mom would never take us to. That was just like a very dad.

Of course. Uh, thing. And my step that didn't like sport, so he for sure wasn't, you know, I'd have to be explaining football to him or whatever, you know, it didn't, unless it was racing. Um, that's funny. But yeah, I want to do the more like, let's go do. But then, yeah, I see it now. You get tired and you're like, I just want to, fuck.

Why did I commit to this? Well, not even like committing to something now. It's just like, I'll get home and like, I'll be like, after traveling or whatever. I'll, like, sit on the couch. you know my son will be playing i'm like yeah yeah yeah i'm like kicking the ball you know i'm doing something with my foot it's like petting a dog with your foot just bend down and pet the dog you know what i mean got the bowl on a fucking fishing rod yeah yeah yeah um all right let's see here this one's from howard huntley lloyd the fourth gentlemen i think i read those new roman numerals

right one v is four four you's ever organized the dirty dishes instead of just washing them I did it yesterday Always That is Rinse them off I don't even really rinse them Stack them up Stack them in

That's it If you start that early My wife doesn't My wife dumps And I go you're gonna make us Dumps Like She throws them all in there

That's crazy Put the pan in like fourth You can't put a pan in fourth You scrape You line them up I'm also a big on like Get the pan Do the pan right of

away. Like it doesn't have to be great. Sure. Just get the pan over there so it's like, it'll last the night. You can whatever tomorrow, but like get it off right away and then it's just like, can you put that in the sink? You got to do them dishes. You got to. There's nothing worse than like a pot filled with water. You're like, there's going to be mosquitoes in here in the morning if I let this sit. Brutal. Got to take care of it. I'm a big fan of doing the pan and throwing right back on top of the oven. That's where it goes. Yeah. Our pans live on the oven. I respect it. Dishes they can wait.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't fucking care. You ever do a cookie sheet all burnt chicken cutlets or something? You're scraping that shit? Yeah, that sucks, obviously. I was also a big soaker. I got to let that soak that soak.

Kick the can down. About two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be ready to go. I, dude, it was the other night. It was bad. We were just fucking cooked. Me and you were traveling.

Baby started a version of daycare. We're just fucking fried. He's not sleeping. he was sick, whatever, not sleeping. And did the kitchen look like someone threw a fucking flashbang in there. It looked fucking abyss. It looked like they pulled Gaddafi out.

It was like it was bad. It was fucking bad. Like a busy shift at Denny's. Oh, dude. Because then, like, he's got so much shit and, like, he's got a tray for the high chair. Sometimes that just gets shoved in there. That's like sticking out of the sink like a boogie board.

You know what I mean? There's fucking shit all over that. He ain't no clean eater either. There's shit all over. that and like they didn't look to me and she's like you can do it if you want I'll do it in the morning like that's it I respect she's like this is that's going over and I go what you do let it fly I turn the lights out

I'm saying fucking tuts that room is a no you know fill it up with soapy water we'll call it a day fucking seal the door dude that's it but we gotta wrap it up gang gang we love you to death thank you for everybody for watching American Garbage if you haven't seen it go over to the YouTube page check it the fuck out Tell a friend. We appreciate it. We love you.

And we'll see you in three days. Peace. Peace.