Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Big Garbage News & Funny Fan Questions!

Episode Date: October 29, 2020

Kippy and Foley are back with some BIG news about the podcast! They also get into funny listener questions that are always home runs. Enjoy! www.Patreon.com/AreYouGarbage - Sign up by Nov 1st for bonus episodes! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? --

Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy. Just wanna thank you for tuning in to R U Garbage. Yeah guys, make sure you subscribe. That way you get the episode as they come out and you can also go to gasdigitalnetwork.com, use promo code AYG to get bonus content and get the episodes before they come out and HD streaming. Do it.

Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast, come on. This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down

with your favorite comedians and find out to go classy or if they're a big old piece of shit and we got two of them in studio today. I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful fall day here in the East Village. The leaves are falling. Woo, I can taste a fuckin' Reese's Cup now. Not long now, baby.

Halloween, right around the corner. That's in like 48 hours. What are you talking about? And I can't wait. My co-host is coming at you from across the table, which means today is a fan question episode. A family ep, baby. A family ep.

We know it's your guys' favorites gang. Let me tell you something. If this guy was a candy bar, he would be a kippy bar, okay? And he would have dark chocolate in a really soft center and real bad eyebrows. Do me a favor, give it up for my best friend, Kevin J. Fong. Hey, what's up, everybody?

Thanks for tuning in. Stop looking at yourself in the monitor. I'm looking at you to make jokes. You look like one of those trash bags that people fill up with leaves, with the jack-o-lantern face on it that they put out in front of their house yet. That's what you look like.

Happy to be here, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. A little bit of news coming at you today, folks. You know, we just gotta get into it, right? Sure, real quick. Real quick, you know, guys, are you garbage? We'll be leaving gas digital network.

It's all Dylan's fault, blame Dylan. I told you about those fucking drops, huh? I told you about the drops, didn't I? Then fucking listen, man, you know? People are actually gonna believe that. That's the worst fucking part. It's terrible. No.

Yeah, guys, so we're gonna go off and do our own thing, and we launched a Patreon. You can check that out at patreon.com slash rugarbage. I don't know if that's, we're actually allowed to talk about that on the podcast. We need the money! So Kippy's got us up to eyeballs, in a fucking penthouse, and in mid-down.

Listen, Kippy... Fucking Kippy Schultz over here. Kippy was doing a little booze in this week. I made a couple of bad business decisions, and now the kids got a lease, and they're out on our own. I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen. We're gonna be broadcasting from the new Clean Living Studios, somewhere in mid-town Manhattan.

We're going out on our own. We cannot thank gas digital enough. Dylan, of course, our fucking producers have been with us to the end. Dylan, G-Mike, baby. G-Mike, of course, everybody here. Lewis, Ralph, obviously. Bobby, Shannon, Alex, Eric, everybody,

the whole gang, it's been awesome. There's no bad blood. No bad blood at all. And that's what's fucking so awesome about this network, and about Lewis and all that stuff. And let me tell you this, so we got to be a part of Legion of Skanks last night. It was the big guy, the big Ari.

Don't talk about it. I'm not, but it was the big Ari Shafir trial, and just the production quality, the fucking production, the fucking, the effort and energy that's put into what they do and what they did yesterday was the exact reason almost that, you know, we wanna go out and be on our own. We wanna emulate what these guys are doing,

and you guys have all been so supportive, and the audience and the fan base has grown so much that we wanna be able to give, you know, the best thing that we possibly can, and do it for ourselves. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's why we're moving on.

That's the whole reason. It's not Dylan's drops, okay? About 10% of it is Dylan's drops. It's not that he fucking tried to put the moves on my cousin the last time he was down in Philly. Oh, he's a good-looking kid, his cousin, that is. Yeah, guys, thank you so much. We, like, I mean, everybody's, all this gang fan,

everybody's been fucking fantastic. Unbelievable. We love everybody. Honestly, the best fans in the fucking world, and we hope to God that you guys all come with this on this journey. We need you to come with us on this journey, all right? There's a fucking nut we gotta cover every month now.

Yikes. Yikes. But yeah, it's exciting. It's exciting. We're really excited. The response so far has been fantastic, so we're happy to see what happens. And also too, something that we wanna emulate is they do, they do so much extra content,

they give so much extra to their fan base. That's something that we wanna be able to do completely unlimited and unhinged as far as just, it's not just gonna be the podcast. It's gonna be a whole shitload of fucking content, and it's gonna be really, really fun, and we really appreciate you guys. Also too, now all of our episodes,

all the way back to the first episode that we've ever done ever are now available on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you listen or watch, that's where everything is. We're still gonna do the two episodes for everybody every week to go out on iTunes for free to everybody. We're just doing additional episodes, some videos, some other content,

some live streams and stuff like that on www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. Check it out. I need this. I don't think they care. It's not a secret. I know, it's a bit. Come on there, trash bag.

Jackal. Jackal. Please. Hey, there it is. Everybody hits. I'm sick of hearing this shit. Believe me, it hurts me. Ah, buddy.

But no, again, I mean this, you know, Ralph and Louis and people like that in this business are the people that are showing people the way the future is gonna be. Also too, we just wanna be a part of that on, you know, with us. I was a little nervous coming in here. I thought it was gonna be a fucking setup.

I thought I was gonna come in and have to fucking, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake was gonna have me in an arm bar. Gee, Mike's got a luger and a silencer. This is like that scene in a glorious bastard. What's it on the plastic? You guys painting? All right, guys. Yeah, thank you so much.

Good stuff, we're excited, man. Yeah, thank you. And this is a family episode, baby. This is the going away party. It's gonna be a lot of family things coming up, so get ready. Get your trashiest dishes ready in recipes. Yeah, that's at www.patreon.com.

So are you garbage? Got the tapes. Guys, I mean, we've had fucking, when we put out that we're doing a fan question episode, a listener question episode, they fucking fly in. The kids go nuts. I announced it like fucking four hours ago. So you're giving away Deon tickets.

We got Deon who? Look at you. Thanks, man. You don't have to do that. Thank you, buddy. That's fucking dosed for sure, dude. Why does the coffee here always have so much froth on top? I don't know.

It has weight. I always think it's a cappuccino. They're staring at it with their wien. It's just iced tea. Thank you, buddy. I hope it's dosed. Are you kidding me? Yeah, you're dressed for it.

You're dressed like John Candy in every movie after fucking 2004. He really let it ride, didn't he? Yeah, he's like, I'm throwing my own wardrobe. He leaned into it, man. I love it. OK, let's see. You got some cues?

We got some fucking cues. And I mean, they're fucking. Some of them are so funny. And I get jealous when I see them. Some of them, I have on my list already that I'm like, fuck, before I could get to it. We all think alike. That's what's great.

I know. We're all fucking trash. First of all, thank you so much to all the listeners that write in this fucking. And we just can't get to all of them. And some of them are repeats that we've done before. So you don't want to, you know. The Facebook group has been killing me lately.

Dude, the Facebook group. I've been dying. Check out the Facebook group. Check out Reddit and Discord. They're all, you know, we're everywhere on there. Did you see the spaghettios and lobster shells? Oh, yeah. That's got Foley family written all over it.

I'll tell you what looked really good was the hot dog, the frankenbeans tacos or tortillas somebody whipped up. They look like food shabby. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I think that that was like that guy's dinner. That's an okay drunk thing if you got to pull it together. But if you're making that for a sit-down dinner. I'll make that on Thanksgiving.

What are you talking about? Yeah. All right, let's get into it. Talk to me. This is one that I've been wanting to talk. You know, I've been wanting to bring up. I just waiting for the right guests. And I definitely, we've talked about it a little bit.

We definitely have an opinion on it. And this is from my favorite fucking name, Charlene. It's just for Charlene. Charlene. No way. Fucking Charlene, kid. Oh, Charlene, you got to be garbanteo. Fucking that name was Charlene in the fucking pock.

That's such a name that, you know, some Boston skis or throws out. Fucking Charlene. I was also thinking of like every love song in the 50s. Charlene. Yeah, there's a lot of Charlene's running around back then. Bobba da bar da ba. Hang it up, hang it up, hang it up.

I think Charlene, Charlene, Charlene. You broke my heart. All right, this is from Charlene. How do you like your eggs? Is one style more garbage than another? Well, I know what you're going to say is the trashiest. What? And my favorite every time.

I like Dylan bracing himself when I open my mouth. I like to cook mine in a shoe from time to time. An old work boot if my dad had a long day. No, but what would be the trashiest and the most delicious is the dipping egg. Oh, what? I'm a fucking, I'm a dipping egg. Are you a dipping kid?

Yeah, I grew up as a fried egg. Over, like, I don't know, I don't know the names of them. It's technically it's over easy, is what a, is what a dipping egg is, OK? Now, a fried egg means that you do it in a little bit higher heat. Both sides, so it really seals. Sometimes, or you could do it sunny side up

and still be a fried egg. Fried egg, sunny side up. Yeah, yeah, no, I know what a fried egg is, but it gets you, like, over soft, over medium, over my ballsack. I like when they're cooked loose and soft. I don't like when there's any fucking, I don't like brown on my omelet, OK?

I'll tell you that right now. I see brown. Run mine through again. Hey, Matt, do it again, OK? Do it again. I was a big fried egg kid all growing up. Love a good yolk. Sunny side up does me a little weird.

I just, I don't like singing. Sunny's man, if you're doing sunny's, you either did time or you were in NAMM. Yeah. Sunny side egg guys are fucking crazy. Yeah, it's black coffee and grapefruit juice. That's what comes with this fucking two sunny side up. Burn the hash browns.

Do it anything better than a burnt set of fucking home fries from a two weeks old from a diner. Good night. I used to love working in fucking breakfast places. Yeah. Coming up to the coming up to the restaurant industry. I mean, shout out to the Bluebell Grill and Deli. You've took we've taken me there before.

Have I? Yeah, after that horrible corporate gig we did. Oh, no, that was gems. That was gems flashback to the 50s. You used to work there though. I used to work there. Is there is there any fucking is there any trash dining establishment you didn't work at in Bluebell,

Pennsylvania, throughout the fucking 80s and 90s? Every time I ride by with this kid, hey, see there, I used to bust tapels there. I used to be a short order cook there. I either I either I was either cutting lawns, working at a gas station, working in a restaurant in the back. I wasn't really a front of the house kind of thing. Back, oh, how?

Or my favorite job of all time coming up was, was I worked at a car wash. If this goes south. You still have the bikini? Number six. Working at the car wash. Holding up the round cars. Come on in, you got an arrow here

out front letting the girls hang out. I did, I could work in a car wash, man. I love clean cars and the way they operate. Yeah, it's also too. It doesn't seem hectic to me. Hold on and I use the Brent Ernst tip. Remember Ernst said grease the guy doing the cleaning in the beginning, slip that guy a five.

Oh, you could have eaten off that steering wheel. I did. I wanted to get back to the eggs a little. The eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs. Fucking shally. So I would say, and then when I say dipping, okay, that's not just a preparation, it's also an ingredient. Dipping eggs when I was a kid is my dad would make the egg.

It would be like an over easy egg. He would put a little bit of ketchup on it and then he would cut them all up and chop it all up and mix it all up. That was like fucking tuna tartare on toast. Yeah, we did the same thing. Fucking piece of rice. We would do a piece of Strowman's.

Shout out to the yes family for sure. For showing up early in the morning with the fresh bread. Dude, Strowman's. Just the right fucking toast on them. Yeah, you get a fresh bag of bread at the grocery store. It's like finding gold. It ain't nothing better and you know it. Strowman's king dog, not that fucking queen pussy shit.

We're talking king size. Never go to somebody's house and they have the little loaf. They don't have the family size. What's your dad do again? Yo, what the fuck? What do you want to say? What do you got to go bag? You got to hit the bricks quick.

You're not investing in all loaf of bread. You bought enough bread for three hours. What's going on here, bro? We're not even going to make it to lunch with this. Is there a loaf in the freezer or something? I got to do an open phase tuna sandwich at lunch. Right out of fucking bread. I always do it.

It's either real trashy or real classy. If you get like the short half rye, like the beef steak or the beef steak or whatever. That sounds erotic if you ask me. I'll come over to your house for a beef steak. Woo-wee. I like a pumpernickel if you know what I mean. You know what is real?

This is, I got an opinion on this. I only found out. Wait, hold on. We didn't finish the eggs. This is still the eggs. I'm still the eggs. I'm just switching avenues over to scrambies. I love a good scrambie.

Don't you know it. Dude, I can eat. I'm not even fucking. I'll have cheese on mine, please. I'm not even fucking around. I could put down a dozen scrambies for breakfast. They don't even, it's like I'm eating fucking aspirin. I don't even register.

Every time I'm making breakfast, regardless of who I'm around when they, and they're, you know, when you're cooking, everyone's watching you. They, you know, the people fucking armchair quarterback. What do you want? Fucking top chef. What do you mean?

Everybody's watching you. What are you living in? Well, you live in an apartment with your wife or your girlfriend. Well, if I make down at my parents. The neighbors come up and the big man's throwing down on brunch. I got two front row seats.

Let's go. I got two in a balcony. Kids looking in the window. He's about to paint his masterpiece. They're all, they always say you're putting, you say, oh my God, how many, like I'm four eggs scramby. Easy. Easy.

Because it doesn't come out to four because there's a little bit on the edge. That's such a fact. They always look smaller. That's for sure. You gotta go one extra. I do three. Cause I do them a lot.

I can't be eating fucking four or five eggs a day. Oh, they're good for you now. No. Farm fresh, cage free. Yeah, whatever you need to do, whatever you need to fucking tell yourself, dude. How do you make your, all right. This is, how do you make your scrambies?

One, do you, I got a couple of questions so don't answer until complete. Okay. Do you mix them in a bowl first and whisk them up? Or also, do you add anything to them? Do you put any water or milk in them? What, do you say water? Yeah, people do that.

That was a depression thing that I found out. It makes the, as my mom would say, it makes the eggs go longer. Jesus Christ. It was a depression. Water, yeah. You milk maybe. Yeah, well they make, it makes them fluffy.

It does. I also know people that put some pancake mix in there, people that put a little sour cream. Hey, Fully, who are these people you're talking about? Ralph Soprano and the Sopranos. Used to put a little sour cream. All right, do you want to, the culinary answer is this, okay.

And I think I know the reason why you're bringing this up, not to get too into it. How do we do our scrambled eggs? You're not supposed to add any salt or anything to the egg while it's uncooked because it starts to break down the egg. You're only supposed to season them afterwards. So what you would do is I would scramble them up in a bowl.

I would put olive oil in the pan and then right before I put the eggs in, I would add a little butter. You throw them in. Wait, did you say you'd do the bowl first or no? Scramble them up in the bowl, okay? And then throw them in there. And then the trick to get great scrambled eggs

is on heat, off heat, okay? Because it continues to cook after you take it off the heat as everybody knows the egg is very delicate and it cooks very easily, particularly in high heat. All right? I think the reason you're bringing this up is because of the Gordon Ramsay method, which a lot of people saw on the internet

over the last couple of years. Yeah, I don't fuck with that, I don't fuck. I love Ramsay, he seems like a good shit. I don't fuck with the eggs. They're the best scrambled eggs you've ever had in your life. I'm not saying they're not. He does everything in a cold pot. He puts a couple of chunks of butter

and the whole egg in there. And then scrambles them on and off heat for fucking like 15 minutes. Yeah, that's a long time for scrambles. But they come out so creamy, a little bit of chives, maybe a little creme fraiche, cream cheese, whatever you got in the house. But yeah, that's too long for scrambies

because you eat the scrambies in like 10 seconds. That's why you make regular scrambled eggs to eat while you're waiting. A little starter, a little buffer. Let me get a Western to, let me get a Western to wait. Keep the party going, oh, I love a Western. That was Chaline, thank you, Chaline. Classiest would be hard boiled, then soft boiled.

I do it on the pan, I crack, so I watch this thing that's these like French fucking chefs that make like the world's best egg or whatever at this place out in LA. And they crack just a little bit of butter, crack right on the pan, and then very low heat, low and slow for like, you know, when you just- We'll scramble them in the pan?

You scramble them in the pan. For sure. So that's the way I go. Plus, I don't like mixing, I don't like making dishes. If I'm scrambling a bowl in a pan, then I got the fork's dirty, you gotta get another fork, can't be using that same fork, get a bowl, you got a whole thing, you know?

Eggs are always a weekend thing for us. There was no eggs being cooked during the week when my dad's rushing out the door slamming a cup of coffee, my mom's screaming at me because, you know, I'm not out of the shower yet. It was a fucking, it was a imitation pop tart called Toastums, no icing. Not even cooked, just fucking out the door,

or apples and cinnamon instant oatmeal, which was brutal. Yeah, oatmeal can hit the fucking brick, dude. What are you doing? What are we doing giving kids oatmeal? Like fucking chopped up cardboard, get out of here. There you go, trying not to fall into sleep in third period, fatty.

You know what? So as a- Farbo load me before I get on the bus. As a product of divorce, half the week I was spent with my dad, half the week I spent with my mom, and the days of, I didn't live on a bus route. Like I was like in the, you know, the next town over, but it was like fucking seven minutes away. So like the bus-

You're gonna beer with a cracked magnet in the morning? You and your old man? Fucking Mikalov, is it beer or Mikalov? There's tone in the fridge. Now he was a big, he's a big Wawa guy, coffee guy. He doesn't make coffee at home. So we would stop at Wawa every morning. Well, once they're stopping, you're in.

Dude, oh. If your parents had to stop somewhere to get something, exploit the shit out of it. Well, that was breakfast. When he drove me to school, we would stop. I get a fucking Wawa iced tea and a fucking bagel. This is before, this is the pre-date Sizzly. So you get the fucking bag, I'd get a bagel with butter.

I hope your town has something like a Wawa and they have something like a Sizzly. Yeah, Sizzly's the breakfast sandwich here. Which is a pre-made breakfast sandwich. Yeah, it's not too- And a little foil bag. That was Chalene, thank you. Good stuff, great question.

Thank you, Chalene. Kippy's not a fan of the devil's egg. That would be my number one. I don't get it, man. I don't know, like I just said, I grew up with some weird, you know, weird food shit, you know? Love a fucking devil's egg.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. This is one, we might've talked about this one from Rob. Have you ever used the kitchen stove to light a cigarette? Oh, electric or gas. Yeah, I fucking- The electric ones, man. I knew it was trashy when we were doing it. That was the only thing,

when we lived in the townhouse community, ah, it sounds really bad coming out of my mouth. Yeah. Community. Yeah, the fibers of that community weren't that strong. Everybody was fucking everybody when they were probably at work. But they had electric stoves,

and that was the only time in my life I had to deal with electric stoves. Those, man. The fucking- Was it the coil ones? That would turn fucking bright red? No, but I knew a couple of rich friends that had the-

The surface. Yeah, those things were like- I tried lighting burnies on those. I've lit a burning off one of those ones. It takes a while now. Yeah, it takes a while. Dude, you gotta have good lung capacity to get that thing. But I thought those things were like from space,

where it's just to play the glass and it heats up. Those are fucking tight. This is how trashy I am. Those are coils. I think our boy, I think he listens. Shout out to Dougie B. If you listen, I know you used to. His family, his dad worked for Whirlpool.

So like when those dropped, he got the first one. He had first thing, he got the first one off the fucking assembly line. And he put, this is early 90s, you know? And I remember when they got that, that like we went over to see it. It was like a thing.

Go over and see the oven. I don't know. Holy shit, does it get any trashier than that? I don't know. Did they cancel school? No homework tonight. We're all going to see Bobby's family's oven. Shout out to Dougie.

Dougie, Dougie family Whirlpool. You know, he works for him, you know? That's garbage. Going over to, we've done that. I don't know. When my aunt's got a new fridge, go over and check it out to take us for a test drive in it. You're putting your outside playing in the box.

You think it's a spaceship? Ma, can we take it home? I'm crying. Oh God, I literally have tears. Yeah, that's fucking garbage. Holy shit. We went over to see it. I don't know.

You go over and see a car, a baby. You don't go over to see an appliance. Man, what is wrong with us? What the fuck was wrong with our parents? Go over and see the oven. I don't know. I don't know if we went over. You already got a new pool.

Let's go see it. I don't know if we went over a specific. You gotta see this washing machine. Oh my God. I don't know if we went over a specific. Yeah, you did. No, I think. Yeah, you did.

Denise wanted to see what the Joneses had going. I think it might have been, we were there, we were there and we, I remember standing in the kitchen talking about it. And I'm thinking that thing was from fucking NASA or something. How old were you? What are you, a fucking salesman at Sears? Chopping it up.

Did you get the warranty too? What did you get? Two year warranty? Shout out to Sears. Oh my God. That's fucking great. That's fucking, this is also, this is just a funny one.

I don't think, do you want? Wait, but hold on. Lighting a cigarette off the electric coils. Yeah. Is brutal. Cause it's, the tobacco will stick sometimes. Stick and you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're really, those are like,

they ruin the cigarette. It's life examining moment. It's like having a car lighter in your house. Remember the old school car lighters? Do I? Mountain's better than cranking a fucking fresh Bernie. A Marlboro mild off of one of those things. Those things are, when I was a kid,

those things were equal to a lightsaber as far as danger. Oh yeah. Mine was, mine would pop out. Like it would like launch into like the center console. So you had to, you had to have a good fucking. The guy at the Ford plant round the, round the spool You gotta, you had to have a good timer in your head. You know what I mean?

You plugged it in and you knew you got about eight seconds of that till it's fucking fourth of July in the back seat. Pushing that thing in on a cold day. Fucking waiting for the car to warm up. Yeah. Oh God, that's funny as shit. And this one's from Rob too. It's just a funny question.

Do you own any clothing with the Punisher logo on it? Cause if you do, you trade. No, but it wasn't because I didn't want one. I'll tell you that when I was a kid, that's all I wanted to wear. I never got into that. You're not a comic book guy. Nah man.

Well what happened was nobody was talking fucking comics because they were like for nerds, right? It was like the nerdy kids did comic books and like the fucking all movies and TV shows, the nerd was into comic books. You guys had a, people were reading comics. You guys had like an oxy ring when you were fucking 11 years old.

Trying to fast and loose with the fucking Perk 10s. Running an underground casino like little Nucky Thompson. Yeah. Hey, kid knew how to let his beak early on. All right. That's www.patreon.com slash are you garbage? Come on with us gang. What was I saying? Yeah.

Oh, the comic books all through the nineties, the nerd on all media, the nerd was depicted as reading comics, a comic book nerd was a thing. So, and none of my friends ever talked about like, we were never like gathering comics or we never went to go look at them. Well, I think that's because you guys weren't able

to express your feelings. Yeah. Well, that's what I find out come fucking 2009. Everybody's like, I've been watching Superman my whole life. I've been reading the comic book since I was four. I'm like, why the fuck did anybody tell me? I can't get into it as a fucking grown man with a reseeding hairline.

Shout out to the internet comments. What did you like that was somewhat cutesy or childlikely? Did you have a doll or a teddy bear or anything? I can't believe you. Fucking cranking Bernie's dog. Being like affectionate or like. I had dogs growing up. You were probably a weird kid.

Shout out to Rusty and Patches. I'm not talking dogs. Like, did you have a teddy bear? I had a blankie, an orange blankie that the kid lumped. And this thing was rat and tad in my fucking, you couldn't put that in a wash. Kid could've, my mom would put it in the wash. I'd stay next to the washer machine like a lost kid

waiting to get picked up. And I had a G.I. Joe t-shirt that I really liked that I would put in the freezer and then put on. Why? I don't know because I was a weird fucking kid. I liked it on my nips. Put it in the freezer. Yeah, man, I was a weirdo, dude.

What, it's just like on a hot day? No, just, you know, fucking around. Okay. Just to watch my tunes. Yikes. That sounds real normal. How's that working out for you? Yeah.

Holy shit. Yeah. What can I say, dude? All right, this is one, this kind of goes along with what we were talking about. This is from court. How long will you let an appliance go without acknowledging that it doesn't work?

I.e. my dryer hasn't worked in two months, but we all keep pretending it's not happening. Just use a laundromat while it privately sits downstairs. It will remain there. It will remain there and will pretend to be class. That's from court. Completely. Do you have any appliances in the house or the garage,

the basement that don't work? Or that don't work as they should all the time? Well, that was gonna say, that's two separate questions. If it's completely broke, that's one thing. But the Foley's are notorious for just cause something, just cause you need a couple extra steps now to turn it on or to get it moving. You have to do this, do that.

You gotta. You gotta smack it. You gotta jiggle the handle. You gotta stick your hand in the thing. You gotta pull the, like we had a toilet. You gotta fuck a little bit of floor plate if I can get your toaster. Well, we had a toilet that we had

where we had to go in and go into the tank almost every time we used it. If you have to, dude. For years. I don't trust that water to this day. And I've worked for a plumbing company. The tank water? Yeah.

Tank water, you drink that. Clean as a whistle in that tank. It always looks so cool and clear too. Is that how you keep your good skin? Little tank water. Yeah. Or like a lawn mower that like the starter didn't work or something like that, whatever.

Yeah, we, I told you we had that old John Deere truck. We were jumping cars in the driveway for a couple of months. Yeah, yeah, that's tough. The starter didn't work. That's tough. I remember one time pushing my mom down the street in an old Dotson because she had a stick shift and you know how you pop it in the gear

to get her to work one day. And I was like 11 doing it. Yeah. That was another thing. Real great. It's fucking, that's one step above Fred Flintstone. She's got a smell. Hey, hey, boo boo.

Henry, give me a push. Jesus Christ, that's bad. We had a tractor that I had to jump every time with like the portable battery to turn it on. Yeah. Yeah, cause they're like, but completely broke. You're Jeff Foxworthy at that point.

You got to get that out of there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's, I'm trying to think. I mean, there's definitely, yeah, we got a garage full of just fucking shit from the 90s leftover. That doesn't work. There's a little, there's a little go-kart in there

with four flat tires that doesn't run. Ooh, we should break that out. I mean, I cut, nobody, no grown, it was for like a fucking, it was for like a six year old. It's like tiny. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't fit.

Could be funny. You know what else is real trashy too? Which I've done a bunch is the slow leak in the tire that you keep the air compressor in the trunk for. And then you're at like fucking super fresh parking lot, blowing up your things, smoking a Bernie. All through my 20s, I had a Honda Accord that almost every other time that I got gas,

I had to get oil cause I had some kind of slow oil leak. Always, yeah, you were always running on the edge. Yeah, I still run on the edge a little too much. Your car is fucking, man, that thing. What? What? What? It's nice. What do you think? It's nice on the inside.

It's a New York City car, man. It's got some, it's got some dings on it. That rust on the wheels from the, Whoa, hey, oh, what the fuck? Jesus Christ, Kelly Blue Book on that thing, still tip top. You bought an ASR. This was another one.

Hold on, I want to find it. This is from Renee, shout out to Renee this while we're on the subject. What is in your cup holders in your car right now? Or the door holders too. Yours are either nice for like two days or? Cause I do get the car washed every couple, I always, I'm like that.

Couple of weeks, I'll give you. Yeah. But sometimes you get, sometimes you get in there and it's like a fucking rat's nest. But that's what, that's why I love my car so much is having that like, you know, it feels like it's my space. I love when it's like,

when it has like my things all spread out around it. Like I'm a big, I'm a big guy that, or when I get into the car, I love putting all my shit on the passenger seat. Big passing guy. I feel like, I feel like Michael J. Fox and fucking back to the future. That's honestly why I do it.

That's a true story. That's why I do it. Like, you know, putting like your smokes and your phone and everything's right there. I love how you think it's like a cool thing. Like that's why I do it. You're most Americans put their stuff on their fucking passenger seat.

I think it is cool. It's like one of the charms of having a car. It's why I love my little, my little car. Okay. But I can say this as time goes on. One thing you will definitely find in most crevices of my car. French fries.

No. That was big in my mom's sea-bring. Couple of fucking BK fries snuck down there. Couldn't get them with the tweezer fingers. Mickey D's fries don't age well. I'll tell you that. They do not age well. No.

I will always have a crumpled up straw wrapper. For sure. They hang around for a while. Water bottles too. A lot of, a lot of like. They'll be like a little rim of like tobacco, not burnt tobacco, but like shh that's shaked out from the pack.

Yeah. A cough drop or two. I love quarters. I let my car sit for a little bit. When I got back in there to get the quarters out I had to get like a fucking jackhammer to fucking really get them out. So gross.

They were in there with like soda and fucking everything. Sweat, you know. Shash it was fucking in there. I did that this summer when I had, when I did a really deep clean on the car. I scooped out all my quarters. I had to put them in like a little bucket

with like soapy water and like, like let them sit overnight. Just fucking toss them. Give them to a homeless guy. You can't throw out money. Okay. Now all of a sudden you have your fucking Johnny Laws. No, it's bad karma.

Bad karma. Yeah. I've never heard that. Yeah. You throw out money and money goes away from you. It's like a penny on heads. Listen, I can't run away from you any quicker. Okay.

Great question. There's always an empty soda cup in there too. Oh yeah. I'm the same way. Which I'm surprised you guys don't bust me more for my fast food intake. Cause there's usually. I should, I mean, I should on you constantly.

The fans say I'm too mean to you. You consume way too much fast food. Because the other day I had a, I had an old milkshake thing in there and there was some milkshake on the seat and you got in and didn't notice it. I'm trying to be nicer to you. I did notice it.

First of all, I thought it was calm and then I saw the fucking milkshake thing in the, in the cup holder. Wacking off in the car. I said, I think I got a little frisky. I'm trying to find this one cause we were talking about cars. Here it is.

This is from Dennis. You ever owned two of the same cars, one to drive and one for parts? Holy shit. What? No. Well, let me tell you about 2004. So my brother had a Chevy Lumina, right?

At one point. Quit bragging. I know not. I'm not bragging. My brother got a really cheap cause a Chevy Lumina. So he had that. I also, my step down, my first car was for like 1200 bucks.

I think he bought me a Chevy Lumina. You both drive around the same model car. Different colors, but yeah. I had a white, he had like a, that like 90s, that early 90s. What are you fucking militia? Blue. You know that like light blue?

Yeah. Yeah, that's what his was. The Lumina's stunk all there. It was no, there was no straight angles on it. It was all bent. It was all curves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That car, it was like oddly wide on the inside.

It was big. That was a big buy at a big bench seat in the front too. It was weird. Yeah, you could like, dude, you could lay in that thing top like toe to head to toe. There was something else that came around at the same time. Like that's what they advertise. It was like real wide.

It was like a Caprice classic type thing. Yeah, but bigger. But so I had mine, I had a white one. My brother had a blue one. I think my brother went to college and his car was just like sitting at the house, you know what I mean? Cause he was like living in the city or whatever.

Right. So I had mine. I then crashed mine around a telephone pole on my block while I was cutting school. Right. So we just took that, my step dad put it at a shop that he has. So that was at the shop.

And he replaced it with the same exact car for 1,200 bucks. He found the same exact car. And I just got a 1995 white Chevy Lumina. So now, you know, it's like 2004, that car. Your step dad did this. Yeah. He had a buy it for you. Yeah.

He probably hated you. Oh yeah. I would have kicked you to the fucking curb. So I would have kept your sister and your brother. Yeah, they're good shits. Yeah, you would have been fucking out. So I look at you just a little liability. Losing my heart on us.

I'm walking into my in the room with you. Jesus Christ. What the fuck, dude? And people say I'm too mean to you. I was fucking talking about. Gavin, go to your tree house for a little while. Yeah. Fucking weird fat kid staring at me.

Little blonde bull cut. Go play with the dog, will you? Sweatpants too tight. But then my Lumina. Eating at dinner roll. My 10 year old Chevy Lum kept breaking down. But we had my brother's car and my broken and the one that I crashed sitting.

So we were just, it was this thing was like Frankenstein. We were just harvesting it for parts. Different color body work is real bad. When you see a guy that has like a different colored like trunk. But I respect it cause it's all intentions of all right, I'll get it, I'll get it on there. And then I'll paint it next week

cause they're jammed up for cash. I've been there. You're not painting anything. They think, they think they're going to but then the laziness to take, you know. Where do you go and get your whole, are you allowed to? Make go, double AMCO.

The finish is never, never as brilliant. Yeah, well it's better than a fucking red hood on a white car. Maco always seemed garbage. It was like $4.99. I don't know what they're doing. How was their advertising budget? They were on like every fucking third commercial was Maco.

I know. Yeah. Some dirt bag fucking kind of DUI and his fucking IROG Z. I need some dings banged out. This one, this one, this is also from Dennis. Dennis had a couple of fucking home runs. Have you ever owned a plastic garden shed?

Oh, we have one next to our garage right now. Yeah, it's got the snow blower in it and a bunch of wasp nests and scary spiders. Yeah. Those things don't. My mom always, can you write, I get the fuck out of here. Those things only look good until the first time it rains or a hot summer.

Do they start fucking fading? They look like a bad playhouse. I had to clean the outside of it today. It was all like. Today. No, I mean this summer it was all like green. You know, like that like green moss starts growing up on it. Yeah.

Grass clippings that are stuck to the side of it and shit. There's always a fucking killer spider in there too. Running the, running the block. Running the roof. Oh man. Fucking two flies just like, it's a pussy. Those things don't dude. Those things a lot of try.

They only, they look good when you get that. That's one of those things that it's like, it looks great and you're like, oh, this is awesome. And then they fade, they, they fucking, unless you got a maintenance program on those things. I always thought sheds were pretty trashy too. Yeah, this is. They've done better with them.

My brother has a real nice one. Like I would live in it. Yeah. Some of them are nice. Plus it's got that gasoline smell. I'll put you right to sleep. Pfft. We had a shed that never finished.

It was just the foundation of the shed in the backyard. Looks like a manger. No, it's just this baby kippy. It was just like a square on the ground. The floor was laid, but nothing else. That's trashy. We were trash, dude. That's bad.

If you lay the foundation and walk away from the job, man, that's bad. Especially when the job's in your backyard. That's no good. Yeah. Ah, so yes, I do have one. That's bad. It has a moonroof too.

It actually opens up on top. So you can check the stars out while you're cooking beans? God, that is good. Oh, this is Matt. My question is, are you garbage? Do you frequent a gas station for your lunch such as Wawa? I've had breakfast there most of my childhood. So yeah, it's tough.

But some of them stepped their game up. Some of them got decent food, but you can't be gone. It's all right if you're in a pinch, if you're driving, if you don't have that much time. But if you're going every day, well, it's, you know. People in the burbs, man, most of them have that morning routine. My mom had that forever.

Love them. Every single morning. Good morning routine. Fucking getting in the car, getting your coffee, getting your whatever, and driving to work. Dude, I would go get a, I'd fucking go to Wawa, get a sizzly, a hash brown, if I was, you know, treating myself a little bit.

Fucking Wawa, I used to, this is when I was working. Like when I first started doing economy, I was working in the city. I'd have to fucking get up, crushed that in the parking lot. Wouldn't even make it. I'd fucking rip right through that.

You know, I love eating and driving. Oh, so you can't enjoy it. It's too much. So I fucking crushed it. That's part of it. Crushed the scissor and then fucking, I'll have a burning lip before I've been pulled out of the fucking parking lot.

Take that first sip of my extra, extra coffee. Good night. How's that breath when you get in the office? Aw, man, not. Right to the crapper. No. No. Bueno.

This is one. Oh, and in the other sense too, have you ever used the microwave frozen food at a gas? Have you ever used the microwave at like the 7-Eleven or something? Let me tell you something. It's funny you mentioned that because I thought about this the other day.

That's from Ray. Ray, that's great. That's a, I can't believe we haven't talked about that yet. You know I'm 10 years older than you, right? Are you? Yeah, okay. So this is like pre-Wawa or whatever, 7-Eleven had like a, they had like the frozen hamburgers

and they had the frozen burrito was like, was like part of pop culture in, you know, in the early 80s, like, you know, going to the 7-Eleven and get a burrito. I never could cross that fucking bridge. They just looked so dirty and so gross, especially those, this is 80s frozen hamburgers. Now I've had a hamburger from 7-Eleven in the past five years.

Because they- I would say past five days, but whatever you want to tell yourself, big man. They started to put the, you know, the hot box in the front at 7-Eleven. They got the wings in there and then they got the pizza warmer. Sometimes they throw-

Those are all right. I mean, I'm on the record for saying this. Anything you pull off those fucking, those heat lamps. Well, they throw- Find me the fuck out. They throw cheeseburgers in there and they're in like a little foil bag, the buns fucking moist, they're,

I tell you what, for a walking around burger, they ain't too shabby. Get you out of a pinch. Oh yeah, don't fucking straighten you out. That is slurpy. Get your head off the street. Let me get a burger and a Coca-Cola slurping fucking. Let me start thinking to clear my head a little bit.

I gotta get some fresh air in here, you know what I mean? But the frozen ones, nah. Dude, I think I used it once or twice and I got it. I don't understand. I just always thought that it seems too commercial for me. It seems like you got to have the guy come do it for you. It's stainless steel. It's got like two buttons.

I'm like, I never, I wasn't trained on this equipment. Is the sous chef available? I'm like, dude, I don't know. It still look like the one in my house. Where's the easy minute button? I don't think they allow you to do that anymore. There's no microwaves in 7-Eleven's anymore. I think there is.

No, I thought, there had to have been a lawsuit because those were industrial. That's what I'm saying. I always thought, I'm like, I never, I didn't like to open this manual. Fucking burn a place down. I know. Never, because those things were hot,

especially in the 90s. They come out steaming. We were never a Sev family. We never went to Sev. We were both. 7-Eleven is trashier than Wawa for sure. Sure. It's just dirtier, they're dingier.

Everything's got grease on it. But they're more national. National. And their chili sauce ain't too shabby. Shout out to 7-Eleven. Yeah. Wow. Okay, this is also from Dennis.

Dennis got three home runs. Microwaving food on a paper. What's this guy, paying you off? Now we're gonna get an emails. What the fuck? That's www.patreon. Well, they're coming up naturally. This is microwaving food on a paper towel

to save from washing a plate. Yeah, for sure. I can use that as my pillowcase. Also, I'm real weird about, I like conserving paper towels, though. No, not me. I'm an animal. Love it.

Yeah, I don't know. That's why I got in the game. I'm telling you, I'm ruthless when it comes to paper towels. I can imagine. And if it was socially acceptable, I'd probably wipe my butt with a paper towel because you get a little more grip.

Oh yeah, it's just a little tough. If you go to the well a couple too many times, you're gonna be fucking. If you get those hair strips, they ain't too bad. All right, here we go, here we go, here we go. This is from Richie. Is it classy or trashy to use wet wipes, AKA baby wipes after you poop?

Richie thinks it's classy, nice clean feel. I say that it's trashy because I- I'm on the fence about this one. I just think they're gross as a whole, but that just could be, that just could be because of my situation. Obviously my situation back there ain't good. All right, there's a lot of construction

that needs to go on. There's a lot of twist and a lot of turning. I got to do a lot to keep that area. You know what I mean? Which I would think- Up to code. I think the wipes would help, you know? It did.

Too much moisture maybe? It's like your ass is wet after you get done doing it. And like it has like, none of them have like that good smell. And on an adult, it just smells like baby shit on an adult. That's what it makes me think of. I got you, I got you.

For sure. Now if you look them out with some, you know, different flavors, basil. Wait, I think are you eating them? No, but they all just have that distinct like baby shit smell. Yeah, but they have them now that are like, you know. They go aloe. That's the best they do, aloe there.

No, they do it. I want something fresh. There's like the man wipes or something they do. Get me like at your car, you know? Something like that. CK1. Obsession. Smelling.

This is gross by phony. Yeah. Yeah. You know what the other day I looked- I don't stock it. I get like, I've done it in the past. Well, she uses it of course. I think it's okay in a, I don't know.

I don't think it's for fat guys. Let me put it to you that way. I think it would be for fat, but that's just me. I don't know. I need to make a fat guys brand. They do, one-time char, one-wipe Charlies. Oh, really? Well, they're not a sponsor, but yeah.

What are you, a Marine in the 40s? One-wipe Charlies? Jesus Christ. Keep it PC, will you? But the other day, it's funny he asked that question because it made me think of it. I, there was no toilet paper, so I had to use wet wipes for the whole process.

That's not good. No, you got a TP and then the jet stream it with the wet wipe. Yeah. I had to do all wet wipes. That's a fucking scene, man. That's fucking, you got a shower. That's too much, dude.

That is too much. That's what I'm saying. Somebody chimed in in the chat, dude wipes. That's what they're called. Dude wipes, thank you. This is Dan from Manchester, isn't it? In England, in England when it's nice, when it's nice weather, all the pubs with beer gardens,

outdoor drinking areas are ridiculously busy and it's tough to get served. So I check what bottled beer they sell and go buy the beers at a liquor store and then sit there and enjoy the beer in the garden with the genuine customers. Is this merely troubleshooting or am I garbage? You're fucking a dirt bag.

What do you mean? No, good. I don't. Service is never that bad. How does that, how does the waiter not know? A packed bar. When was the last time you were like a packed fucking bar? How does the server not know?

They don't have servers. Or you go up to the pub and buy at the thing. Oh, I mean. I mean, it's functional. You're there for, booze is a little weird. What if everybody did that? I, Kippy. What if everybody did that?

I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying they understood. Kippy likes his drinking. I don't know what you do when you're over there in Europa. All right? Kippy likes. With your highfalutin wife out there fucking. I know you too like to hit beer gardens in Hobnob.

If for all you know you're ripping off some poor tavern owner in fucking Hostglaven. No, I love supporting small business. I like to support, but also at the same time, I get this guy. No. Maybe if you do a one for one, you buy one, have your own, buy one, have your own maybe.

Is he ordering food? At least. Come on, you're ripping the place off. I get it, but. As a server. At the same time, I want to fucking drink. I like, I drink. Drink at your house, man.

I drink them fast. I do whatever. I'm not saying I do this, but I. That's not our kind of garbage. It's not a class move. No. No. Sneaking liquor into a place is a trashy move.

Sure. I do it. I don't do it. I've done it for sure. Never done it. But you're not that big of a boozer either, you know. Sneaking up other things in a bar though. Check the bedroom situation.

Fucking boof in Advil. It's so sad my head always goes there when I go into a restaurant or bar. I scope, I see what the bathroom situation's like. Yeah. My buddies wanted to make an app of Coke for Coke friendly bathrooms in the city. How great is that?

Ski bumps. The ski bumps app, that's terrible. But yeah, it's nothing not a classy move. I think it depends maybe, you know. Yeah, no good. Stop doing that my friend. No, do it from time to time. How can you say that?

That'd be like if you went into a restaurant and brought your own food and sat there. It's completely different. How? You're not buying the product at the place. Cause you don't consume fucking 15 chicken poor mantres at a time. It's not a, it's a volume thing.

It's a time and volume thing. I don't know. Sometimes I don't know who you are. What do you mean? I don't know. Well, you're getting up. I'm not saying it's not a fucking, he's also not stealing from them.

Technically he is. He's taking up, he's taking up table where people would spend money. It's outside, you stand in the streets and stuff. Oh, oh, maybe I'm missing one. Or like you stand, it's not like, I don't know. He's not taking up a table or something. He's just hanging out there.

And also he's probably with a group of people who are drinking. I don't think he's sneaking in a sixer and standing in the corner like a weirdo. Maybe he is. I don't know, Danny. Well, not that, but I'm saying if you're taking up a table where paying customers would be or something like that,

that's garbage. No, it's not like a burn, it's not a burn and turn thing. You go up to the bar and then go sit at your place. You go up to the bar, go sit at your place. I gotcha. But if the bar's fucking 30 deep and you're hanging out having a good time, you need your fucking pops.

That's all I'm saying. In that case, sure. I don't agree with it, but you know, it's definitely not the worst thing in the world. You're trash. Is that what you want me to say, Dan? You're trash. Definitely.

But I respect it from time to time. Yeah, but one's much different than the other. Yeah. All right, this is from Ryan. I don't know if we talked about this. This is one I've been wanting to bring up for a while. What type of sandwich bags did you use? Did you use the Ziploc or the Flap?

The Foldies. Oh, man, I was a fold. Come on, bro. We were a fold family too. Come on. By the time I got to fucking lunch, my fucking nibblers were all over the bottom of my bag. What the fuck, mom?

Fucking goldfish leaking out all over my school bag and shit. Those things couldn't keep a peanut butter and jelly protected to save their life. I remember thinking as a fucking six-year-old at lunch, going, this isn't even technology. None of this works. I don't get it. I'll tell you what, it's better than though.

Better off putting rubber bands around them. No, you know what was real trashy when the kid would fucking reach into his brown paper bag and pull out something wrapped in tin foil. What the fuck? What does your mom do? What's the deal? What's coming out of that?

A Sammy and tin foil ain't bad, though. It's true. When I was a little kid. No, you know what the real trash is? Just cellophane. If you got like a fucking ham sandwich wrapped in just cellophane, it's like molded around the can of coke or whatever.

Oh, shit. My mom used to do that. She would wrap the soda in tin foil. Keeps it cold. That was big in the 90s. I think it might still do that. I don't know. That didn't do anything.

Yeah. Fucking silver bullets. That's trash. Yeah. Yeah, we were all cellophane or all the old- The rolled-ups. Yeah. That's all we were.

And I'm so garbage. Those things are ingrained in me. Mm-hmm. When I do buy plastic bags. I wouldn't even fit in one of those things. I go straight Tupperware. Put it in a pot. Have to put it in a guitar case.

I got a four-footer in there. Like a dust-filled on instead of a machine gun. Hey, where you going to a concert now, lunch? Oh, my god. Got a briefcase just for my sandwich. Somebody just said in the chat, Kip, he looks like one of those guys in the theater that carries the girls around.

Makes it look like they're flying. Stagehand Kippy. Working the Lion King. A little bit more of a turtleneck in your spot on. Oh, dude. Fucking bald man. Shout out to Cody or, I don't know, King Biscuits. That's a fucking home run.

Holy shit, that's funny. But when I buy Ziploc bags now, I think I'm spending too much money because we were such a non-Ziploc fan. I go, I'm getting the good ones. I'm like, this is a treat. I'm always getting the good ones. I don't have kids.

That's what it's all about. That's one thing I love about fucking, you know, about where we came from and just the Tupperware, cellophane, all that whole industry's evolution. It's fantastic now. I get the big fucking Ziploc bags and put like things in there.

Oh, that's nice. I use that shit as luggage. Yeah, me too. Those things are great. Dude, we were moving. I got a box of those. I was just throwing shit in there. You know what my mom does now?

I don't know why she does it, okay? But instead of carrying like her little wallet or a purse, she puts her cards and a Ziploc bag and receipt in a Ziploc bag. What, she going to the fucking water park? Who does that? I don't know why. She did it all summer.

That's a beach thing. That's a beach and water park. She wasn't near no beach. Yeah, it's because she's trash. She was by the pool. In case someone throws me to the pool, I need to protect my cell phone. I still make a payment.

That's trash too. If you've ever thrown your mom in a pool, fully clothed. That was big in the night. They're all in someone in a pool. They're like holding onto the fence and shit. I got my phone, I got my phone. Nothing better than that shit. Oh man, that's funny.

Yeah, I don't know why she does it. All Ziploc. I know why. She's trash. All Ziploc all day. I don't think any first ladies are putting their fucking shit in a Ziploc bag in case they get thrown in a pool. Holy shit. This is a big, we only got a couple of minutes

and we gotta rip it up. I love these. Man, these are so much fun. Our fucking pants. What's cooking in the chat? What else we got? I don't know. I'm not thinking, I mean,

there's a whole bunch of people in there chatting it up. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I can't. They're moving on with the segment. Thank you. Yes, and Ryan over here. Well, I don't, I mean, I'm trying to read the question. You're like, well, what's going on in the chat?

Let me start throwing you curveballs. Hit me. How much do you weigh? Will you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar? I wish I liked it more. You're not a PB guy? I wish I liked it more. I do do it, but I wish I liked it more.

You wish you liked peanut butter more? I wish I liked doing that more. I do it, but I don't love it. I'm usually, I like to stick a Hershey bar in there or some celery. Talk about the duality of man, a Hershey bar or a fucking piece of celery. Or a piece of apple or something like that.

You know what's big of just a fucking, that big fan of just a big spoon of fucking. Chunky? Yeah, just no, not chunky. I'm a creamy family. I think you have an opinion of this and I don't know. What, break down the fucking, how you feel the brands of peanut butter are.

Cause I want to come out and say I was a Skippy household. Yeah, that's, I think Skippy would have been the premium brand as we were growing up, yeah. What about Jif? Yeah, they're okay. Okay. Jif seems more like a family owned business to me. Skippy was like new money, I feel.

Skippy was real creamy. I'll tell you that. Fucking, there was like an inch of oil at the top when you opened that thing. Yeah. We were Peter Pan for a while. That's not bad. All right, Peter Pan.

We were never, we were never. We certainly never did like Smucker's natural or anything like, you know, real peanut butter bullshit. No. That was not perfect it when I was a kid. And a follow up question regarding. Fucking shells in there and shit. Regarding PB.

Oyster shells. Looks like one of those bars where you can crack fucking the peanuts and just keep dropping. Do you, would you spring for the little jar or the big jar? Come on, we're making, she's cranking out. She's like a fucking, you know. I don't know what you're going to say, but there's only two kids.

Should be two sandwiches. She was making sandwiches. All right, she needed, she needed the fucking family. We were all family size, everything. You got to figure two sandwiches a day, usually two sandwich per kid at a certain point. Yeah. I wasn't going to school with fucking one peanut butter

and jelly like a fucking asshole, not fucking like, you know, middle school and high school. Dude. I had fucking two PB and J's and she knew send me prepared. Yeah. Cause otherwise I just eat more when I come home and she's not there. Like getting to the pantry.

I told you I would do, I would do a fucking can of slim fast and hers pretzel nibblers. That was my after, that was my snack when I got so fat. I like it. I just thought it was like chocolate. How did the divorce go? I thought it was chocolate milk, dude. Where do you dental hygienist at?

Milk and pretzels, I get down on the salty and the sweet. See? All right, there you go. Wow. Look at you turning a little bit. You just have to go a little bit further with that. Then you got a nice, you got a nice chicken farm. Milk is sweet.

That's why salty things go good with it. Yeah, but not fucking meat. Pretzels are different. That's just a little bit above a bowl of cereal, if you ask me. That's like fucking special K. Fucking pretzels and cereal. Come on.

I always thought about that. Everything's real close to being cereal. You know what? You know what was a fucking, a mind blow? It's still like I can taste how sweet it was. We made cereal from Teddy Grahams. Oh yeah, we did. It sucks because that box was so small,

so it was really only like a fucking one bowl. They lasted about 12 seconds. Oh man, those fucking, they were like, they were like passengers on the Titanic. Dude, they folded under questioning real quick. Just turned into Grammush. Yeah. Because we used to do that with Graham crackers,

I would do that. Or I would sprinkle some Graham crackers on top of my rice crackers. That's what your family got, Graham crackers? Top of my rice crispies. Now are you name brand Graham crackers? Because there's a significant difference between Graham cracker, like Nabisco Graham crackers

or whatever it was and the generic ones, because we were typically a generic family. We were never a traditional Graham cracker family. We were never a traditional Graham cracker family. What my mom got was in the Bisco dark box that had cinnamon and sugar coated on top of the Graham cracker. That's what we got.

I don't know what they're called, but they were sparkling. And when you take some counter butter and slather it on one of those things and a fucking cold glass of milk, while you're standing there watching fucking married with children on a Sunday night, geesh, geesh, geesh, geesh.

Woo, the endorphins were popping. Mm-hmm. Well, let's see here. We'll do one or two more and wrap it up. Excellent. This has been shoe fun. This is one that I just saw on the way over here that's like, all you only see trashy people doing it is carrying around a Bluetooth speaker

playing music out loud. Dude. What are we doing? Dude. What the fuck are we doing? We were talking about this yesterday night. I always assume people that do that, people that like wrap out loud on the subway or walk down the street like singing or rapping really loud, that they have a gun on them

or they know some form of martial arts, karate, have a knife on them, that they're ready to fight because you don't act like that unless you got nothing to lose. You know what I mean? That shit is so fucking crazy to me. Who the fuck, unless every once in a while when someone's rolling down and they're playing something

and it's hot and it's setting the scene on the street, that ain't too bad. It's a little different. Very few and far between. Yeah, I think it's different if you're hanging. If you're posted up, that's fine. Like if you're like, hey, I'm hanging on the corner or having a beer or playing whatever.

Like if you're chilling, I'm fine with that. But if you're like on the subway. What have you ever done that? Stun on the corner? What does this do the right thing? I'm not saying I am, but it's just New York. Instead of sitting in people's apartments to go fucking hang on the stoop, but they're set up.

They're hanging out there, they're smoking a cig, listening to music, whatever. I can understand that. I just picture you like in the cul-de-sac with like the boombox, trying to pretend like you were in Brooklyn. And how come we don't even talk no more? Oh my God.

Tall drink of water just walked in. The boss is here. But I saw a guy going in and out of fucking McDonald's today and I'm like, you're just annoying. At any given point, you're annoying 30 people. Yeah. It's insane. Fucking wrap it up.

Nobody does that unless they know they're looking for somebody to say something. And they're looking for some sort of attention, of course. Yeah, exactly. That shit drives me nuts. I've asked female friends of mine that, if, you know, this is kind of a New York thing, but if you were dating a guy,

and then one day, like, I mean, just like, you know, dating, like not in a serious relationship, if you were dating a guy, and you were on the subway going to work one day or something like that, and you saw him on the subway and he was like rapping out loud with his headphones on or doing something like that,

would you then break up with him? I would. Oh, God. That means you're a psycho. Yeah, it's crazy. It is. Like, looking at their reflection and they're like, do the, you know,

rapping, it's the same thing as we're doing like that. That's one step of all the guys handing out their mixtapes. Or you're doing the fucking air guitar or something like doing the frets, like as though you're listening to the song or something. Oh, just like being into it, yeah. Yeah, it's like fucking G-Cord, F-Cord, G-Cord.

It's like, dude, you're not fooling anybody, okay? Fucking Eddie Van Halen, relax. Like you're gonna get discovered on the subway? Yeah, like, oh, this guy knows a fucking PowerCord. Check him out. It's crazy. Yeah, fucking Luzierville. Welcome to Luzierville.

Yeah, guys, that's it for us. Yeah, just hit the hour, guys. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. Thank you, everybody, that fucking wrote in. Yep. As always, please make sure you subscribe on iTunes. That'll keep us, pump us up in the charts

and in the rankings. We appreciate that. We need your love and support more than ever. Yeah, we're out on an island right now, gentlemen. And we need the life support. Pushin' off, just us and Wilson. I appreciate that. As always, yeah.

And we're gonna continue to do, this is our third family episode. Third family question, we're gonna continue to do it. Everybody seems to be loving these. They write in that, you know, these are some of their favorite episodes and stuff like that. So we appreciate that.

So we're gonna keep doin' them. 100%. Yeah, you can check us out at schmatrion.com, everything. And yeah, guys, thank you so, I wanna thank Gas for sure, as corny as it sounds, from the bottom of our hearts. It's an awesome family here, Gas is fantastic. We appreciate all the support from Ralph.

100%. And the whole production team, Bobby, Hutch, everything has been fantastic. And not that you're not gonna, because I know you are, because you found us through Gas Digital, is please keep supporting Gas Digital in everything that they do.

What they do is super important, as far as comedy is concerned, I feel. So please keep supporting them, support us. We love you guys, we're all tryin' our best for you to make everybody happy. And we love this so much. And Dylan, thank you so much for everything, my friend. Dylan and Mike, thank you so much, we appreciate it.

And that's it, we'll be back with a new episode, and we'll be cookin' a bookin', baby. Yeah, buddy. We love you, and we'll see you guys soon. Peace.