Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bootleg Raybans w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with a good old fashioned family episode! Its a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Subscribe on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-garbage-comedy-podcast/id1499140700 Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

New York Philadelphia take the Jolly Ranchers out of your ears and listen up because the keep it moving tour is coming your way Yeah, guys, it's a stand-up show when they play a YG with the audience. It's a good time September 30th. We're gonna be in Long Island and then What are we doing if we're going home for cheese steaks? Whiz wit baby October steaks and vengeance October 27th We're gonna be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia get those tickets. They're gonna move fast. I'm telling you Yeah, welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?

The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is are you garbage? It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grew up to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. Oh boy. I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a glorious day We're down here in Antutti's basement was upstairs with her We had a big breakfast together had a Bernie outside being a very good. Yep frozen pizza. No big deal

My co-host is coming at you from across the table mocking me He is the CEO of are you garbage is international business, man? It's got a brand new book out right now called keep it moving the secret to success Touring around accredited universities sure all over the country give it up for my best pal Kevin James Hey gang happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in as always a little bit of business Please make sure you're right with you subscribe on itunes full video full video available on YouTube And as you know those numbers are true true the fucking roof and then of course, I'm contractually obligated to say go to www.patreon.com

Are you garbage for the best patreon content in the biz? I'm going toe-to-toe with anybody raise the law who wants it? Dot-com amen. I can see the light, baby And have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good the very funny mr. T-Bone Mcmuffin Toby McMullen. What up, dude? Hey, buddy. What up T-Bone? I'm surprised kibby's making eye contact now. They went all Hollywood on us. We got Hollywood get forward It's doing all right doing all right Some guys on the coast Making it happen. I like that true to roof by the way. Thank you. I like that standard true to roof

Beautiful when you don't like that. You don't want to make him any you don't want to make it many you don't want him making any choices Do you go with go and stay on script? All right, T-Bone. He's made that very Don't fix it. You have the one weird one true the roof something like that, right? Oh, I like I like a true They're gonna have to cut that Save that for the director's cut That's the Snyder cut over there. It's a shout out the belly gang. It is a family episode It's just us haven't done one of these in a couple of minutes It's nice to you know do a little house cleaning clear out get your head straight hang out as a family

Yeah, it's important to spend time as a family. You got to do it. It's like Sunday night dinner. Oh Big big Sunday night dinner. Yeah, didn't matter where the folies were could be scowling around in the four Corners of the county come five o'clock Sunday back locked and loaded come running press and rolls in the oven Were they I remember when I was I got old enough to pop that oh Big shot. I thought I felt like a construction worker Snapping claymores in the jungle those things are awesome. Yeah, yeah Sunday dinner man in the fall They start cooking around like to our usual routine on Sundays was pretty tight pretty cozy Yeah, get up go to mass start a fight argue in the car come back big breakfast

Little stooges chill for a little bit. Maybe some leaves some lawn this and that and then you go some leaves Raking some leaves doing some yard work. Are you don't strike me as a yard work kid? I did I've been cutting the grass since I was maybe 10 years old that wasn't all handled by my people No, no, no, no, we had a we had like an og at my mom's we had like an og You gotta think don't like between my mom at my dad and my dad's house on my mom's house They're both blue collar. My stepdad was a construction worker. My dad was a pipe fitter So you know nobody cut in the lawn over there. Well, who your pop might know my dad to do the hand of push mower I'd fucking tend to trade doing two lawns two lawns weekly since chances. Yeah, like Sal Vito and Sopranos

They jumped out of a tree with a chainsaw. I got that right to defend myself T Yeah, dude, don't push my work fucking Sock, but it's nice. It's nice on the front man. That's a 10 year old when everybody's riding bikes and fucking playing in a fire I dream I'm serious to take what you grow Brighton Beach. What are you talking about? I? Was it flatbush? Anybody's on the boards eat water ice It's a picture. I was trying to paint

Down there at the swimming hole. That's a tough look if you're opening the fire hydrant in the suburbs man Had to shut down real quick. No, but that fucking saw dude. It's my dad was so Fucking like OC day It's where I get it like the ain't and dude if it was like if you got off You had to be like parallel and if you got off a little bit you heard it What the fuck front yard looks like fucking an old blind guy. Well, whatever a racetrack out dude I was getting my fucking balls broken. I apologize then. So, you know, yeah fucking do a little yard work do this to that Yeah, I don't know what you put pictures you think you have of me that I was in some ivory I could just see you not doing that

Stuff I would assume that there was there was you know systems in place. No, you know, I like that I like a kid that gets his hands dirty You actually we've never met before. What are you talking about? I know you worked with your dad and you've done blue collar things But I figured that your mom would have a landscaper from Jump Street. No, never that's the shit They didn't spend money on that was like, why would I pay somebody 30 bucks? We got this big head. I got this fucking idiot who did I would have asthma attacks every time, too Nice to be on the tractor with a fucking nebulizer just fucking cook it. I need a treatment. It was bad

Do you know tough guy, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that fucking get in our can cut in the grass All that fucking pound and dander Reminded me of that video of the reporter where the bug flies in his mouth We're down here That's what it felt with dude I would break out an asthma attack almost every time the birds would fucking dive bomb the barn swats where my fear of birds comes from They didn't like me at my mom's house Yeah, it was a fucking scene that yo chased by swallows

Probably a barn slave fucking dive bomb. Yeah, I know one kid that I'd be pretty hard-pressed if he cut the grass hill Along here. He doesn't cut his you know, you know, you shave his pubes this guy ain't doing alone I assumed you didn't have to do any of that stuff when you were a kid Oh, yeah, I did that shit when you were homes Do you really cut in the grass when you were homeschooled like just like during the middle of the week like a retiree? It's out there with a sweet tea Up real high

Gotta pick up the grandkids in an hour so the best the best thing about cutting the grass was Cutting the grass was big in the sense that if you let it go too This was as a teenager, right as a teenager Everybody's out hanging those like you you have the car you can drive it around But you always had that and you would always push it like oh, I'll do it tomorrow I'll do it the next or whatever and then somebody's ago We're all having a full party overhead like you keep pushing it down and then it gets too long

Then if it gets too long, you got to pick it up to bag it you got a bag And those fucking bags on those push mowers you get about three blades of grass in them Oh, well my dad's I always had a bad he was that was but I'm talking about my mom's it was cuz I can push her Sometimes I would just do the front to keep up appearances in the name At least you'd be like it should be leaving for work at least do the front you fucking fat piece shit She's like I got I got the Johnson's looking at us like we're fucking poor Dropping the property value. Yeah, so it was like at least do the front but then

It was you get out with the fucking rake if you had to rake it right get out with the fucking dude a whole fucking night Oh, I had it three hours hold on a second. No bag on the mower You're just blown to getting into a circle and then raking up put it in fucking inside trash bags That shit was fucking brutal those brown paper That wouldn't stay open. Yeah, like fucking school lunch those John's, you know with your top one thing And it looks like a fucking bank and it looks like money. Yeah, the rake would always rip the bag and shit. Yeah, man We had we had Poor lawn care equipment that we made do with that's what I'm saying so long well

And then at one point we got rakes missing fucking bristles because especially my step that we're not buy new stuff kind of people We're they're not it's like hey My dad got something new we got the one from the 80 like he would be like oh my dad got this or my brother got There's something or we just cleaned out my parents garage There's a fucking level in there that they must have used for the fucking Empire State It's got to be made of pure lead says Noah on it Boncos But well, I wanted to say once we got the sweeper

He came home with the sweeper one time that you would hook up to the back and it would and throw it in the So you're driving with like a trailer on like a little hitch Oh, you got that and brush it up into the thing. Oh, we got a rope you dump that But you're playing with your Tonka truck as a kid I felt real official with that fucking thing You know was the most legit thing remember they had the little bulldozer at playground sometimes it had a little scoop on it You can sit on it and pull the shit out digger. Oh that blew my mind. That was like great adventure I wasn't going to fucking Disney World to me getting on that thing a couple hours on the Bobcat Clear my head a little bit. Oh, all right. Yeah, it's family episode family about the family

Yeah, as you know, you sign up for patreon. Mm-hmm. All right, we're gonna be answering your questions Mm-hmm. We're gonna be doing that right here before we get started nice quick shout out send some love Jase out there in Wisconsin Jason a family in Wisconsin shout out to you. Oh, yeah Uh, let's see here. Let's this is a perfect one perfect perfect perfect transition This is from suds on as you guys know what did you say we do we do pretty good as you know Did you as you know when you're doing the patreon? Did you run through that yet already? I just did it? Yeah, I'm sorry sorry sign up for the patreon We answer one of your questions on the air bit of a backlog is kippy says I'm turning to a company man

We're pretty caught up at this point. We're pretty good. We're pretty good. We're not too far We're not too far behind ever since I got on the team. Yeah All right, this one's from suds Hey boys real classy gentlemen Mr. Suds. Hey boys. Did your dad ever put a wet hat in the freezer to wear while he was mowing the lawn? Talk about bringing the core temp down. Holy shit. That's genius That's really good. The only time I ever saw that was we were going out golfing like a couple like maybe a decade ago Me all my uncles and cousins and stuff and my aunt was like I put you frozen rags in a cooler

I put and we were like shot up with these frozen rags lady old bird So we hit about like the seventh hole dude. Everybody was fighting over them like Shawshank out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it was fantastic that that takes you down to the dude that'll cool you to the core. It's great. Yeah, it's great I don't want to bring up college football, but I'm gonna but we have these huge buckets that had I so want obviously. Yeah, yeah, this world-renowned, you know, D3 college player. I so want to just I'm connecting to you with the story about I so just want to see tape and just hope you're just getting laid out every play You're fumbling fucking your shoes are untied. Yeah, we could do a little couple of bucks now We could spring for some athletic equipment. I mean you can get out there and line up

Okay, see if you can get past me wear a denny's. What are you talking about line? We'll find a field get past you. Yeah, okay. Would that be would that be fun? He'll walk three steps to the left. I could roll under your leg between your legs if I would what do I don't know Okay, I'll untie your shoe. I'll have you looking for a park bench If you don't have a shoehorn, he's screwed son of a bitch Coach I'm out Um, no dad never did that. He did do the handkerchief But not in the freezer. We weren't we weren't my mom

There was no clothes being put in the in the refrigerator or the freezer. Nothing like that. She didn't go for that shit Sure, that feels like a garage fridge move. Yeah, that's for grocery and jewelry And important documents These are pressure certificates in the crisper I remember being a weird kid. I had I had like a favorite t-shirt As I was I'm talking like young like five like a like baby ish like one of my first memories I had a gi a tan gi joe t-shirt that I just I like it I would wear every to the point where I was like we got to wash it

And I would just like wait by the washer for it to come out. Yeah talking about attachment issues Holy jivel wooby or anything like that. I have wooby I've heard my my buddy used to say wooby and he had it till we were like 24 I moved in with my buddy Dude, I moved in with my buddy and he brought his wooby and I was like, dude This can't happen. You're not gonna the fucking chicks are gonna be coming over with you and your fucking wooby I'm trying to get laid here, dude trying to get laid. You got the wooby up because I listen I sucked my thumb for a long time. You're gonna say something else

I don't know what to tell you I am who I am I saw how long Oh, dude, like sixth grade What? Yeah, and you're calling me fucked up I wasn't waiting at the spin cycle for my I mean, I was exaggerating for my jam jams to come out I was exaggerated But it got to a point where like they they started implementing dental procedures to get me to stop because like

Once it like they've been trying to fix my overbiting stuff because then it wouldn't fit in there nicely anymore You had an over. I have an over. I have an overbite now. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't wear the things They were like, hey, you want to do it? I'm like, no, I'm cool with this But that if you got an underbite, you got to take care of it Dude, if you got an underbite, you're a british lord Yes, new gentleman You look like a trout You look like a walleye pike

Um But that that I understand that that that's trash sucking your thumb But you know, it's really garbage people that suck their fingers and had woobies Suck their fingers. You never saw somebody suck their fingers instead of their thumb It's alien. I don't know that even the the thumb even like all the kids in my family was really a thumb Kind of guy. Really? Yeah, no Any other quirks twirl in the hair or anything like that? No, no, no, no My brother used to bounce his head at night

bounces like why he was sleeping his head would be bouncing And I used to love sleeping in there because it was like sleeping in a massage chair Because like he was in the bed with him. I used to sleep with him all the time in bed. Oh, you're fucked up That's a little kid. I was when I was a little kid. I scared in there sucking each other's thumbs You suck mine. I'll suck you Yeah, I used to I used to be so scared at night like going into my room I would still say you're paranoid. I think it's I think it's only gotten worse ladies and gentlemen This guy holds it together for two hours a week

Once the lights turned down and the lens caps goes on this guy's fucking bonkers. That's a scary That's a sad thought. It wasn't that I was scared of the dark. I was having anxiety. Yeah, you were paranoid. Yeah I remember my dad. I was I was I'm anxious now. It's gotten better Obviously, you know, it's definitely gotten better and I'm checking it and stuff But I remember my dad I was panicking one time in the club about something and my dad goes, ah, you're just a wary ward And I'm like looking back. I'm like that really swept out under the rug We we could have addressed this at eight and I would my 20s would have been decent Could have dropped 100 on a therapist. I'd still have a hairline. I'm fucking wearing this thing out

Yeah, we had this we had this we shared a room for a while when we first moved down to Philly. I loved it We shared a room even though Set it up nice room. We still shared a room bunk beds. Yeah set it up nice toys under the beds everything's clean nice radio Yeah, good times, um All right, let's see here. This one's from Ulysses. Uh Garbage after dark question. Oh They got the nice hit the music

Uh, have you ever worn sweats slash basketball shorts to the strip club so the stripper can feel up on your hoagie? Uh, no, no, I I've heard that tip before from a couple of old timers To like you wear dress pants when you wear like suit pants Because it's real thin and you can you know, there's there's more friction apparently I don't know. I don't I don't freak with I don't frequent these kind of places No, I don't got that kind of hoagie either. I always I always steer traffic away from down there Hey, why don't you concentrate on the feet toots? You got a fun size snickers. Yeah, there's no free samples. No

You buy it how you saw it. It's like I'm like car max What are that shit up online? Yeah, you get it when you get it two to three days delivery It's like fucking groundhogs day. My guy saw his shadow. He went back in. I'm an ambusher Yeah, no, thanks Um, I have heard that before an old boss told me that. Yeah, and as a heavier guy sometimes Like your pants like oh boy are like poking out. So like you would squeak. There'd be nothing there anyway Yeah, because your pants as a as a bigger guy your pants are lower on your body. So there's more There tends to be more jock area

It's more cross like where your mom used to be like there's too much room in a crotch You know, somebody grabs down there. Is there's nothing? They made me check it at the door. I don't know what to take it Here's my ticket go ask for number 72 You're having a gin and tonic and going back to it Get the party started. Yeah. Yeah, no, thanks. Um, yeah the way I haven't been on one in years But we when I was all bombed up I think it was like my bachelor party or whatever

And somebody was like, I'm not a lapdog. You're not a silk onesie I come trying to get your rub on I got my silk boxers on for when I was trying to get your rub on That's real trashy though. Um, no trying to catch a free nut at the fucking Basketball No, I went the one time I was at uh, not You want another dance? No, I'm I show and tell And uh, we were kid like not kids whatever, you know early 20s or where college maybe and this stripper came up And she's like, hey, how about a dance? I just didn't have money

But I'm trying to keep up allures, you know what I mean of like, ah, no, I'm all right. Maybe like, you know type thing I'm sure you really got in her head and she's like, uh She's like, why hey, why not? I'm like, yeah, you know, just whatever something something she's like She's like, I know what's wrong. I'm like, oh, what's that? She's like, you're gonna come too fast I'm like, what? Yeah, just go in the bathroom and jerk off real quick. I'm like, is that what people are doing in here? What the fuck? I'm not using the sink when I go back in

What is breast my teeth in there? Yeah, I was like Jesus christ people are doing any animals in here Kip, let's talk about lathe weights again. Love those guys. Love those folks over there at lathe weights I'd like a glass of wine. I like I like having the guesswork Taken out and done for me. I like people to say this is a good one. This is a good one But who are you gonna trust? I'll tell you you're gonna trust who you're gonna call who you're gonna text You're gonna text the good people at lathe weights and get a nice box of wine. Yeah, uh lathe weights wine subscription

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Special offer for are you garbage listeners? You get 10 off your first month at better help dot com slash garbage That's better help hlp dot com slash garbage now back to the show Oh, that's fucking good feeling up on a hoagie shout out to the hoagie crushers too fantastic Um All right, let's see here. Uh, this is from uh samuel samuel. I'll call them Um, are you garbage? If the high school if your high school made everyone take a yellow bus to prom because there was too much drunk driving going on in the town What the fuck? I guess they all got together. We're like, we're not even letting in order to go to prom

You got to take the bus. We're not even risking it Did you guys well we used to do they used to put the smashed up car on the property? Oh, yeah And yeah one flipped upside down. I did a whole show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah The dead girls hanging out the window and the kid we didn't see that I think they pulled they realized that was a little too way too much and they pulled back on that because I think my brother had that and then like the In the five-year period by the time I got there. It was like, yeah, this is a little too I remember when I first got into high school. I got it. I my first year of high school was 1989 or 1990

And for those seniors that year. Yeah, they had like they probably sacrificed somebody. It was like corpses drink all over the Fucking high school. That shit was fucking. Yeah, we did limos like we said I we've said before limos was the big thing everybody chipped in like 40 bucks and you put 30 people in a fucking limo Yeah, we drove ourselves as we said and like three of my friends all got the ui's So I can see it. Yeah, what kind of parenting and like policing was going on in that town that that they would like The school had to step in and be like look these kids are drunk and I'm not gonna be a narc about it Yeah, and I'll tell you what it makes sense and if I was in if I was in high school I would think it was actually all right. Who gives a fuck. We're all in the same thing

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's pretty cool. Yeah, you're just you get on a cool boss Maybe some bernie's out the back some bernie's at the back if you're gonna get your drink on you're getting your drink on You don't gotta fucking worry about it. Nothing. Nothing too crazy is gonna happen. Yeah, I like that approach I love it. Now. I'm borderline on the line rather have them do it here than do it out there Those parents were usually a little shiesty Of course. Yeah, of course. They used to run a very local Thing in my I don't know if it was like, you know for bucks county or even Philadelphia, but it was like a bad tv Like a bad movie like lifetime of what they made was like

A thing on like hey, don't do this and it was bad actors of like a parents who like hey, I'd rather you do it here Everybody put your keys in the basket or whatever Then you can drive home in the morning type thing. It was a production that you saw Yeah, it was they used to run it on like the local channel like num the channel nine or something Really and I used to it was so I used to watch it because it was so cringe-worthy. That's trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, they would be like hey, don't be these parents don't be the cool you think you're being the parents that that shit was still going on Because when I was little local programming was big and that's where you saw some weird shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, weird That's this was kind of yeah, this was filming in a fucking studio in Norristown somewhere exactly

It was like this real like a high school production Even worse sometimes just a bald guy popping balloons What is this Ha ha ha ha it's a kid show All right, this one's from alessandro. Do you put ice in your orange juice? I feel you're probably very opinionated on this Oh, do I put ice in my I'm gonna I'm gonna say I'm a staunch. No if it's cold You know if you're trying to get a little if it's if you're pulling it out of the fridge Absolutely not if you're somewhere maybe at like a buffet or something got it out

Maybe a little bit just to fucking just to get it towards screaming. You know what I mean other than that absolutely not Here's the water down a product. I need it screaming. I want to get that on the table most beverages That's the first the first rule of business. It's got to be screaming 32.5 is where I like it at okay for reason Now the only time that I would do that again Exactly what you're saying. All right, if I go to a buffet There's oj that's sitting in the pitcher. I got a fully ice it up. However I'll only do that for fresh squeeze orange juice if it's just regular. I'm not gonna fuck with if it's warm

Because the ice isn't really gonna help it but the ice does make fresh squeeze real real classy I give you that because fresh fresh squeeze a little thick too. So you can when you're thinner thinner I've no Yeah It's like a cocktail you put do yourself if you want to make a little fucking drink Fresh squeeze orange juice couple splashes of club soda some crushed ice and a fucking rocks glass Seems like a lot for a fucking orange juice Well, some people like to live man. Some people like to live

I'm a saunch. No on that. You shouldn't be fucking do that and milk. No, I've done it in milk. Isis for fucking soda That's about it I'll give you that Water Which I'm not a fan of but water other than that I like ice water. Yeah, that was really good last night. I was at the club and uh At levity live and you have free access to the fountain sodas

And you got to they have these big like Those it's shaped like a beer can the glass, you know what I mean? It's got that like lip that goes up Okay, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's like shaped like a can I got you big It's like a fucking, you know, like a 20 ounce. Oh, I know Zach. Oh, it looks like something out of like a science lab Yes, like a beaker. It's very beaker-esque. Oh, I love that dude get that. I got the scoop big thing of ice Fucking diet coke. I'm doing ice cold screaming ice cold water out of that thing. Yeah fucking For somebody I feel cool with that track feel important Trashy dreams would be to have one of those in your house a fucking just old fact

Yeah, you gotta have a closet with all the fucking bags of fucking syrup in there You gotta do it. Hey, where has someone changed the sprite? You can only do three. What do you have it? I cannot fucking coke zero coke zero diet coke and coke zero again In case the gas runs out in case you run out. I don't want to be switching every day Yeah, I don't need anything else. That's it. I'm not a sprite guy anymore. I'm a d. I'm a d. I'm a dc guy Maybe a diet doctor pepper. I've been dabbling in Yeah, they're classy. Get two screaming cold cans for lunch. That's like dessert diet doctor It's like a sundae. What are those things? A little bit of whipped cream floating on top

All right, this one is uh, this one's from tj ever ever gone on your lunch break from work to a sam's club or cosco food court Which I don't that's garbage. That's trash, but Probably pretty good I know I know uh, cosco has the That's like frozen pee. That's a tough look Even in there. I know that reminds me. Do you have to have a membership to get into the food court? Or can anybody go in there? Is that open to the public? I don't know. Is that open to the public? The VIP yeah, because if you're just getting a sam's club card just so you can have lunch there

Well, it also depends on proximity. Listen when you're working say you got a half hour or an hour or whatever Hammed up you can be and it's like if you're in the city It's one thing so this guy's clearly not in the city because there's no sam's clubs in the middle of fucking chicago I would assume you know or like downtown places So it's like this guy's probably in a more suburban area So there's not something close to zip in zip out if this is like across the street and you're like dude I'm hammed up it's going to be 15 minutes for me to get to the pizza place and then I only have 10 minutes to eat and I got to get back

They get shit the whole whatever this might be the thing Yeah, because I used to go to this. I used to eat a lot of corn dogs though. I used to eat at a grocery store Those aren't bad However, you do not feel great when you see people in the lounge area or the cafe area of a grocery store You do say to yourself. What do you do? I do my best work in those air a lot of times. I'm at that bar or at the table I spent a lot of fucking sometimes if you catch it at the right time You were rolling there around 11 to 12 12 o'clock and they got the hot bar going though. You know, listen

Little chicken catch a tory. I'm the king of the hot bar in new york city. You want a good hot bar you get I'll tell you wherever to fucking they're done. It's over. It's over. Some people are still pushing it Which you're not no more hot bars. No more buffets. No more fucking salad bars I our parents love the good salad bar. Yeah. Yeah, they knew what they were doing back then 80 to 96 I would say Salad bar ruled that was the cream of the crop for the salad bar. They really had this shine I remember when it changed on me. It was kind of it was right before the pandemic but it changed of I was always big because you can eat healthy at a hot bar

Get a couple pieces of chicken or like, you know, some whatever and a cup a little bit of vegetables And it's like, you know, whatever you're out the door. You're eating relatively healthy. Yeah, fuck all that nonsense I'm getting fucking general sauce chicken and some mac and cheese. Yeah, lasagna and mashed potatoes or something Oh, I love those combinations. They're great for sure. That's why I love a buffet of vfw Because meatballs and mashed potatoes together and meatballs mashed potatoes and coleslaw. I'm happy with a nice dinner roll And all the valor you can steal You're in your dress blues um, I uh

Oh, so it was before the pandemic I got cold on the hot bars just because I didn't realize that Food is just out there for anybody, you know, I think everybody operates Under the same thing as I do and then this I was in the deli. Are you nuts and there's Almost people are coming in just probably grabbing handfuls of mac and cheese as they're walking by I saw a guy put his hand and grab meatballs out and I was just like I ate those meatballs yesterday Oh my god stuck it in like the just his hand right grab like three meatballs and walked out And I was like, I'm never gonna eat from one of these hot bars again. Uh, yeah

Yeah, I think and that's happening probably 10 times a day at each place People breathing on it huffing on its knees. Yeah, you don't think he's circling back to get some dessert Also, too, like he probably he probably regularly does that. You know what I mean? That's not his fight. I didn't just randomly catch this guy in his first time pocketing some meatballs. Yeah, this wasn't a first offense Getting cold on the hot bar sounds like a spring steam I got cold on the hot bar Oh All right, this one this one

All right, this is gonna be a divisive one for sure with the audience I can feel it. Um This guy's you I mean you got upstairs you got Liquid coming out of every orifice at all times Oh Jesus Christ, he's can't put it on my face. No, he's currently wiping himself with a Lysol fucking Thing that we used to clean the bathroom Clean Man What kills all the germs what are you talking about?

They're all hand wipes now after the pandemic. I don't give a shit. Um, they're all hand wipes Okay, as long as there's no bleach in it They're Lysol Lysol doesn't fuck with bleach I don't know just lemon and I would probably say don't put in your mouth I would kill 99 percent of viruses are bacteria and fully Um, all right, this one's gonna be device. I don't under I don't know. Let's see. This is from D dot the general um It's more of a statement if you put your pants on before your socks like a third grader

You need help and should seek therapy. That's crazy socks going first No, that's what he's saying If you put he's saying if you put your pants on before your socks, yeah, you need therapy And I'm saying you put your socks on before your pants. That's what he's saying. Yeah, I agree with him. That's nuts That's crazy No, that's wait. Hold on. You put your pants on then your socks. Yes 100 percent. Oh, that's kooky talk Why would you do that? Then you have to bend over in your pants? What why that makes so yours is is yours like a

Bend over in your pants. I think you're saying that's more strenuous I mean, I don't know personally. Well, I that's what I'm saying. I never thought about oh I have to answer your question. I have to bend over in my pants. That's not like a a thing. I'm I'm dreading every day but okay, my Situation not was standing aside. However, uh You did that all growing up Maybe not when I was a kid. I don't know it was reckless back then I was a wild child put on a sock and a shoe and you're crazy. Oh, yeah

No socks are part of the undergarment, which would be Socks the underwear the t-shirt they that oh that first that's part of the first layer that all goes on first Then you put your pants and your shoes and your shirt on no shirts always last that's absolutely that's that is 100 false Okay, so the sock the sock's not an under An undergarment considering it goes into a shoe. Are you just walking out with your socks on kevin? No, but you also put shirt in the socks category, which is an outside doesn't go into nothing I said t-shirt if you have a t-shirt on I'm jump

This is a formal dress Yeah, formal dresses. If I'm I'll put if I'm putting I don't know Dude, I can't I don't make sense. Yeah, how it doesn't make sense hard My mind is being blown right now that anyone would ever do you were homeschooled. You don't know what's going on I'm on a bad team right here. Yeah. Get out of here. No, I would have to argue That it doesn't It doesn't make sense to me. It just wouldn't feel right putting socks just standing there in socks and underwear

It's a great feeling just doesn't makes in my brain. It's great feeling No, you're crazy. I don't know what to tell you You have to put no you put your it goes underwear pants socks Yeah, that's it. That's what that's that's the order. I mean you live your life. You do what you you know You do what you want but

I can't be involved Huh crazy talk Socks first socks then pants is like guys who work at pawn shops. Shit like they're just like dirt bags That's crazy to me Well, if it's if it's a formal affair if you're putting a suit on you're definitely putting the socks on first because they gotta go all the way up right That I'll that me thrusting that damn it that'll enter socks on yeah, that's different though. We're talking suits You're talking you wear shorts most days you wear you wear the same pair of champion basketball shorts from the 80s

Most days so like don't be dropping sam ace ralstein on me. Okay That's crazy Yeah, no, I don't know. We're gonna have to everybody chime in. I I don't know where this falls socks on for you put your socks on with your underwear All right, I'll give you that that's easy roll then socks. Yeah out of the shower dry off Brush your teeth all that stuff put your socks in your underwear. See I think this is what you're accompanying in it with I don't To me. I don't you not I'm explaining

To me. I go that is That goes on before my that's connected to my shoes a little bit the underwear No, the sock you go you go underwear shoes So listen if you hold on socks on the outside if you're not if you're getting ready in the morning, right? And you're not going anywhere. You're just say you sleep naked Right, you get up You put a pair of underwear on and a pair of basketball shorts. Do you also put on socks to walk around the house?

No Case in point So you already have shorts on or say you put them also not putting shoes on that that's my point exactly So then I put them on secondly. No. Yes. You just proved my point the socks are part of the undergarment for when you're going up To the socks not are the socks not an undergarment Sure. There you go. They go on the same time. Yeah, but you just said you don't put them on if you're not leaving the house So I also don't put a bathing suit on if I'm not swimming. What's the difference? That's in the house is different Who put socks on the walk around the house? What do you a psycho? That's what I'm saying. So what so if you

So what I tell you what I'm not putting pants on either I'm in my apartment shorts or underwear Or al fresco I'll lock art All right, we're gonna I gotta I we need a bigger sample size than this and I need some more reasons So chime in if let us know what you fucking think socks first remember that That's my campaign pled socks first ladies and gentlemen team pants. Yeah, that's nuts to me Socks are like the last thing I do

Yeah, socks are the last thing I do for sure This guy was cutting his grass for in the afternoon Siding with him with the mid-jula. Yeah, good luck Socks first It's bananas. All right, let's see here. This one's from Brooklyn Hey, y'all been a patron for about four months finally thought of a question. I'm a big fan of eddies like foley But this one has ever eaten a hard candy that are so old. They're not hard anymore They do reach they do get ripe. Let me tell you something. I prefer it

You can hit certain ones at certain time. It's like a wine like it gets to a point where you go Oh, this is I've perfect. I've reached a point. You pull out like an old werthers or some caramel It gets the edges on it if it's been in a car for a little too long in the summer. Maybe I love that. Yeah, that's all right I absolutely love that. Yeah, you know what? I'm always getting a taffy and a hard candy all along I'm always reminded of those the strawberry things That are little red jawns a little strawberry. It's look even the wrapper looks like of course. Yeah, we've talked about it Yeah, those age pretty well. Oh That'll get a little soft but still hard to it

I love that like a soft batch Put those in the sun pull that out of a dusty glass dish. Yeah clean leaven Plus they have the you know, that's one of the only one of the candies as an underwrapper too as a little wax A little wax classy classy classy. They know what they're doing every day at the strawberry fact the strawberry factory Uh, this one's from Cory ever use your foot to put down the toilet seat so you don't have to wash your hands after you pee I've been doing just uh Hand sanitizer

I'm not washing my hands in a bathroom now. I'm not public bathrooms. No, I'm at public bathrooms I don't fuck with I'll hit the fuck. I'll hit double dose of the hand sanitizer on my way out It's also too like I'm not touching much I'm not going in. I'm not like sometimes I'm like you hit you got to hit the soap or like if it you got to hit the The sink and I'm going and let me tell you if you think that's dirtier that my hands are now dirtier than they were After me just pee. Yes, and I'll say this okay I'll admit this you think I'm bad at home with the dribbling on the on the seat when I'm in a public place or something I've shared bathrooms with you. Yeah. Yeah

I'm in and out Guy trying to control a fire hose. Yeah. Well, I'm putting out. I'm not doing the reconstruction. I'm putting out the fire and leaving Yeah, you're not worried about cleanup. No. Yeah, you're there to do one job and that's pee on the seat These aren't smart bombs. I'm dropping Collateral this is carpet bombing. These are hand grenades. I'm proud Collateral damages to be expected Uh, yeah, that's I'm I'm I never touched the toilet seat really I'll try to put it up if it's if there's no pee on the seat

I'll try to be respectful. I'm not just going to celebrate it. Oh, yeah If it's if I'm walking to someone of a clean situation, but if somebody already started to charge I'm not going to be the one fucking a rest stop two rest stops are fair fucking game And we're not picking up trash on the highway. We've been driving we've been driving around We've been you know shows and stuff we've been in the car hitting rest stops in different states like I don't know what's go I don't know if it's like The smell in there. Oh, dude, and every toilet is like over I've like peed

Like to like overflow with toilet, you know what I mean? You're like, what the fuck? Who's nobody? I don't know if anybody's nobody's checking what's going on over there. Yeah, I'm out Where was the place we were that had bath mats at the urinals? That shit was gross. Oh, I don't know that Oh, I don't know. It's bad a lot of them are I've seen. Yeah, I've seen that I've seen like they have the but put like that black carpet. It's like industrial car You know, like dude, this thing's just got to be fucking soaked in pee pee right now. This smells like a puppy Yeah, it's tough. Um, that and like the random scales that'll be in truck stops. Yeah Scale

All right, let's see here This is from shmish martin haven't had one read and this is perfect ever had mirrored sunglasses Which I think you just bought just bought big man's rolling around hollywood Success is going to his head and he's got his movement watch Clear ray band boyfriends. They're called called boyfriends. That's the style their clear plastic mirrors Fake yeah, for sure fake not at all. It's a lie I checked everything those are those are roi bands Ha ha ha

Laugh it out. Don't be a pussy at roi bands. Oh, come on. Get out of here. You're so sensitive about these sunglasses Just they're exactly the same Listen, I'm roi my brother's ray. They're the same glasses with different names It's the same manufacturer. I told you we're cousins It's fine Passing the same it's on to you Hey, he spends all his money on marketing I cut out the middle man. There's only one glass in here

Be okay to squint. Don't worry about it Dude, roi band pretty good. Yeah It's okay Now they're not fake though See dude, because I said it to you joking around and like in a drunk comment I want the american people. I don't know. I'm not walking around a fake ray band We woke I woke up the next morning and the phrase that you don't think these are fake. Do you like you were like standing over my bed You don't use your fake. Do you well? They also sold funnel cake where I bought it. I know you bought them from like

The sketchy a spot. No, I bought them from a legit surf shop Dude, there's no first of all, there's no legit surf shop on wild woods boardwalk There's nothing legit except sam's pizza. They had oakleys. Shout out to it You ain't lying sister. I'll tell you that. Uh, yeah, they're just not uh, that's yeah, I don't know I wouldn't I wouldn't spend any money On investing in anything over 20 bucks on on the boardwalk. Hmm. Interesting. It's like a corny. These are corny folks You don't know what you're getting gypsies bad meat and fake ray bands. Oh, oh, oh travelers travelers Storefront just hooked up to a wagon just pulls away anytime

Does sam's pizza stay open all year? Uh, no, they're later and earlier, but not all year Okay, you know, they might open at like Easter and then they'll do like the weekends and when people start going down and stuff like that and um Why you want to go grab a slice Thinking about it. All right. This one's from dakota child never had a question red. You might be able to shine some light I got nothing. I'm in the dark here on this establishment. Is it garbage to love red robin just for the unlimited steak fries? Never been never been but I just learned they have unlimited steak fries and that's right up kippy's alley

I gotta be honest with you big fan of the steak fry Man, yeah, I would think in order done. Well all things being equal in a vacuum perfect world steak fry Steak fries the cut right the cut then the waffle They're tough. Well, there a lot of people don't do them right though a lot of people They're undercooked a lot of places in the middle and that's the problem Yeah, I don't know if the grease is too hot or whatever. It's not recent too hot It was grease was too hot. They'd be cooked perfect

Yeah, but if it was lower and longer it would be okay the outside's getting cooked because it's warm Who you dan mcdonald? I watched fucking you just watched the founder They do that same thing. I did but I didn't pull that's common knowledge If you put a frozen pizza in the oven at 6 000 degrees that it's going to not cook cook on the middle I like it a little crispy I like a little burnt sitting there with a blowtorch I think it's crumbly leg Steak fries waffle fries

Then those uh crinkle cuts Cr... really? Listen, listen I was raised on orida Is that the right orida orida Oregon and Idaho orida Really? Yeah, orida potatoes. Oregon. It's or e dash i d a Oregon, Idaho You're the brain on brain. You really are an international business

What they tell you that the g2 summit, huh the six sigma summit There's six sigmas you're on a bill de burg or whatever it's called build a bear build a bear I went to school with bill de bear Uh, I think you've overstepped one huge The sweet potato fry the tater tot no get out of here with the you're all missing you're missing one That's to me curly. Come on. Curly's curlies. Curlies for fucking carnies and gypsies Curly's all right on the bore wall on the bore wall get good curly fries Or like a wing spot typically has good. I'm not saying they're fantastic, but I'm saying to get them. That's where you get them

You're to me. You're missing one. There's also my deli makes a fucking fantastic early Fantastic Shout out to the oasis deli or whatever the two palm trees You're missing a big one in my book The steak that goes on that goes under the that goes that flies under the radar Not the shit with the krabby stuff on it those chicken and peat fries. They could take a hike crab fries are fantastic Get out of here with that crap It's just french fries with old bay all bay chips to hit the bricks. I'm sorry. I'm telling you right now

You're nuts hit the bricks beer battered. I'm a big beer batter fry guy. Oh, I know what you're talking about They have like a little crunch. Yeah, come on those down right What a fucking twitter put a nice crisp thing at chicken tenders Screaming wild cherry pepsi you like dip those in the ketchup And a beer battered fry to me hands down just a tip hands down beer batter fry wins wins not even close But here's the thing those those are the cheapest and the trashiest They can always be done wrong or be stale what the beer battered I don't know. I I I've never had a bad beer batter fry. That's where I'm that's my stance on it interesting very interesting

The crinkle cut kick right I need something crispy on the outside I love a crinkle cut and let me tell you something If you're right there in the burbs and they have Nathan's fries in your grocers freezer Get those bring them home throw them on an old cookie sheet. You know what was great I'm trying to pull up a picture of it. We grown up. They were called. I think they were called tasty fries Oh, yeah, I know exactly like a brown and black bag. They were in the really thin frozen bag. Sure My dad used to throw those on a fucking You know the throw those on a fucking baking sheet. So I'm talking about perfectly like

Perfectly you can really do wonders with frozen shit in the oven. Yeah, you gotta know what you're doing throw some fish sticks Some come on Fucking tight Man I would now we got to hit a red Robin. We can find one on the road. That'd be a good fucking 100% I wouldn't read. I hear good things about burgers Yeah, again, that's like the sonic the commercials we've been seeing our whole lives I've never fucking come across. I think there's a couple by the malls where I grew up like in that shop until there was a red

Rob like I've seen them I think there is one off the turnpike going towards the chamois now that I think of it. Yeah, I used to see it over the trees Ma I see him Or it was like an a and w We used to drive by that like it was the Taj Mahal Like whenever it's like a fast food place that you know You don't you don't get to fuck with that cruise by one of those the a and w There was one of the Nishamini mall that wasn't in the really that wasn't in the food court

It was like over by pennies or something and you were like what it was like next to a pet shop I'm like this ain't fucking appetizing Dude, Nishamini sounds made up In his shenanigans Yeah, Nishamini mall look man. I remember being like I remember my pet shop pet shops are gross We walked in there was like, I'll get this kid. I was like, I got a hot dog I'm eating a hot dog at the mall like a fucking jerk off. What are we doing here? Um

All right, let's see this is more I'll defer to you most food questions. I you know, I tend to defer to you big head questions Excellent or anything about rogaine. I tend to jump hit me go ahead. Um This is from geronimo. Have you ever eaten a lone condiment as a snack? Just maybe like a dab of barbecue sauce spoon full of hot sauce something to wet the beak a little bit Take the edge off I used to eat relish Yeah, that's bad. That's you know, what was like a spoon?

Just made my fucking blood run cold sweet and good a fresh thing of sweet relish before it gets in the fridge delicious Love sweet relish put it in my tuner. It's great and tuner. Don't say tuner tuner shout out tuners Love uh, yeah, I've never done it the worst thing I did when I was really poor living in Philly in that house I used to live in I think you had suckin ketchup packets. No, I had white rice. I have is so poor like no money I remember I had white rice And barbecue sauce and I sat there and ate that just like what am I doing with my life? There had to be something you that doesn't sound that bad. You couldn't make that work

Did you have any butter or garlic salt? I don't know it was fucking 15 year I don't remember every meal I've ever had and then lie about it later on I know a guy does just that. Do you really good kid? Yeah, um No, it was just one of those things of like, what do I have? I don't have any money I look at no money and I'm like Fuck white rice is a tough look. I was trying to make that shit at home and make that fucking work Yeah, give me give me give me give me a box of pasta any day of the week Dude, I used to I used to make salt pepper and olive oil and make it work. I'll do what I would do is I would do

Uh, panay, right? Yeah, I'll dente Dry I would do I would do panay Uh, throw some butter like whip, you know, I was this before I started eating pasta sauce I was a weird man I was like in my 20s panay and peanut butter. Um butter

and then uh Some fucking shredded cheese melt that. Oh, dude. Of course just butter cheese and bread There'd be there'd be like a soup at the bottom of that thing And fucking of oil. Yeah Fantastic. Yeah, it's good stuff, man. Uh, never No, I couldn't do it What uh, just yes, just as a snack Not my kind of thing. No

Couldn't do it. I can eat peanut butter and jelly with a spoon I can make that work Sure Sure pinch. Yeah, I'll be happy about it. Yeah, you can also lie to yourself. I mean like, oh, well, it's Healthy healthier than eating a sandwich 100 eating when it comes to spoonfuls of things. Nothing touches the spoonful of nutella Agreed. I'm not a big nutella guy, but I get it. Sure spoonful of peanut butter really hits home. Yeah, I'm a fucking american spoonful of peanut butter I mean that's most people can relate to the spoonful of peanut butter classic classic spoonful of nutella. That's a nice treat. Yeah Nutella's

It's a little shoddy with me I did get a bite of a nutella croissant the other day that my girlfriend had gotten That was pretty good. They mixed pretty well. I feel like you got to have something with nutella Yeah, my wife does uh She makes her own crepes and she'll do nutella. Who does my wife really? Yeah, you getting crepes at the house Yeah, she'll make crepes Damn palachankin or something. It's like a it's a crepe. What is she cooking on the bottom of the pan? The upside upside down

So they do it I don't think so. So they're frying pan upside down and you put it on there I think she just cooks them on the pan really really really thin and then she'll fucking Sometimes she'll do she'll like put this. She's she'll when she's making she'll make two different kinds She'll make the nutella and then she'll make lemon with like lemon zest And something it's fucking I like that bananas Big lemon's good. Yeah. Love it That's what she's doing. It's pretty good. Clacy Broad

Nutella Nutella and apples. All right. I just I was is nutella america. No, where what is it european european, right? I she just I've had him even for the first time like two years ago never heard of it till fucking like six months ago Yeah, that was a commie bullshit to me. If someone's like nutella, we'd be like you that's we're not hanging out anymore I we just it that didn't cross our fucking radar. Yeah, that's got russian grocery store written all over. Yeah Yeah, that's a specialty. I but it is top shelf. It's awesome. It's from Italy Italy, hey, let me come on. I mean, we weren't doing it. What are we doing? Irish shanty irish people um

It's cranked through a couple of it was tough to get my mom to break in the jam To try to get to try to get her to buy strawberry preserves from smuckers It was like you were fucking negotiating a peace deal. Yeah, we always had that on stock. Yeah Now it was grape jelly down the fucking line at my house You ever have grape jam I told you I was a peanut butter guy straight up Maybe a couple of roll gold pretzels on there. My my one cousin growing up looks like you're on a chain gang Love it too big glass is a milk each through the plastic bag

Gets hardcore, but I had a cousin growing up. I think until he was probably in his 20s only ate uh Peanut butter and cheese sandwiches together peanut butter and american cheese on a roll. That's all the eight I'm listening. I don't hate it Something to kick around. You know what I'll still do from time to time just a straight up cheese sandwich What the fuck no shit idiot. Yeah, just that's a homer Plus it's in your mouth in about 2.3 seconds. It's just cheese on a roll. I'll get a roll. Fuck. Yeah fresh sliced american Fuck. Yeah, help him out. Then I throw some chippy some goldfish. Whatever we got screaming cold candy

Kippy's living life. I love a straight cheese sandwich the best By the way, the r u garbage cookbook's been getting kicked around again chatting with one of the one of the fans a little bit Everybody's shitty recipes. How nice would that be? Maybe make some of them. Yeah, you want to spearhead that? Because that sounds like that sounds like fucking months of work for kevin Then I turn around and split the profits with you. Do we know anybody at simon and shuster? All right, um, let's see here This is all right, so these uh, one more from patreon and we'll do we'll knock out two uh, two facebookies This is around just joined first question ever have to put the family pet in the garbage when it died because it's too cold to dig a hole

The family pygmy goat was taken by the trash company unbeknownst to them Well, you got a goat. That's a little you look up a pygmy goat I'm assuming it's a goat It looks like a god. I mean I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You can tell the difference between a pygmy goat and a regular goat I think for argument's sake here. It's just a goat Dude, that is so fucking gross to know. There's a goat in your fucking. I assume it's the outside trashcan. Let's hope These are the yeah, I mean it's not sitting in the kitchen till till trash day

No, they're they're tiny The american pygmy is an american. Oh the pygmy that makes sense, right? Yeah, yeah, it is a small compact and stockily built it'll fit in most household trash cans. No That's guys. All right. Oh, it is the little guy. Let me see. Yeah, it's just like it looks like a baby goat like one of those It's like a it's like a dog kind of that's fucked up. You throw it in there. That's like biblical That looks like a baby goat from like Like a jesus painting or something like that an activity scene. Yeah. Yeah, my my turtles used to ride these things around Whatever um

Yeah, that's fucking gross. That's bad. We never had we always got we got rid of the dogs that we had We've thrown out a tire or two unbeknownst to the trash people. Really? Yeah. Why is that bad? No, what that's your ring. So why you shabby? Do I have to go dig it up? I thought I thought uh, I think they have to be recycled properly. Yeah batteries and and Tires have to like car batteries. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you could throw away a couple double a's. They're not rooting through that deep They're not out there fucking opening up everybody's trash in the cul-de-sac. Hey, you got a nine-volton here. Fine. I'm I'm gonna have to write chamber did um Yeah, that's nuts, but I guess it's the grounds froze you got nothing. That's all you can do. That's all you can do

What the fuck? You know what I mean? I I would say cremation would be the next step Go outside build a fire and you know what I mean? Send them off into valhalla or meatballs Baby goat meatballs little meatballs new pygmy goat meatballs Yeah, that's fucking Man, think of the trash guys that would have spilled open. What the fuck think about the shit they see though. Holy shit Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah boncos unbelievable Shout out to the sanitation workers. Yes, sir all the locals non locals whatever you need I'd love you. All right. Uh, let's do one or two from the facebook group here show them a little love

That's the fucking wild west over there that Oh, it's nuts. Those guys are boncos going at it. Um This one it's like a general admission, dude Get out of there before 6 p.m. I'll tell you that Oh, wait, this is still from patreon. I my apologies from cb. Did you go to high school with your aunt uncle niece or nephew? Jesus bad if there's that overlap. I had a cousin I mean, that's normal normal age range. We had I have I said before I have a big gap in my family. My sister's 21

My sister was 21 when my youngest brother was born my youngest half brothers That's just a 20. So technically they could have that could have happened in my family if my sister Had a kid younger. So he would so your brother would be at school with his niece or nephew. Yes I grew up not grew up one of my buddies in college I met him And his uncle Those are always strange relations and we hung out to get like they went to we both they both went to temple live together Those are strange relationships when people get older when like that's that's how people slip into becoming weirdos and like

You know, just like they get an apartment together And they just you know, they operate together. Sure, you know, me and my uncle He's like a year older than you. Yeah, weird. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's it's a it's a weird vibe. Those are the guys that get into kidnapping You know, I mean, that's really it up real quick and gotta make some bad choices. Yeah. Yeah Uh Right It's true two weird guys driving in a work van, but they don't do anything with it No one's working. Yeah, real suspect. Yeah, uh one more from patreon

I forgot a couple we got a couple of heaters here. Uh, this is from dan This was big when I was a kid big big big big Uh ever built anything with stolen wood. Oh, yeah, we've talked about this ramps constructions, right? Everything tree was a There was a fucking neighborhood boom in my area. Yeah, they were selling all those tall house brothers Throwing up fucking mcmansions left and right and let me tell you something in the early days They were naive. Yeah, not even fucking like a A problem now just fucking Just plywood as far as I could say

Dude, you know how many times I've been walking down the street by fours with with like a fucking the full sheet of plywood with a Buddy like just where we had to walk like a mile to like the place where the bike jumps were where we were building a fort or whatever Just like and there would be like a hammer on top and like a box of nails that we stole from my buddies and just Just like two eight-year-olds just walking with shit hundred percent. I loved it These splinters from untreated plywood. Oh, that'll get you. They'll get you. Mm-hmm They'll get you the best bike jump we ever built was uh in this neighborhood they had dumped a thing of gravel

and uh It was that was there and then so we were just hitting the gravel because like after a long time It got like ha, you know, it kind of became like one kind of piece And then it started breaking a little bit and then we put a piece of plywood on it like really thin plywood And that was enough to like do we were fucking Screaming off this thing, dude Oh, man, and we were fucking evil. It was at the bottom of the hill. So we just fucking bombed down the hill. I mean Looking back it was probably like, you know, six inches and we were

Thought we were catching mega air, you know, but as a kid, dude, you couldn't tell a lot shit right down with a parachute on just in case Yeah, kibby pull the cord man Yeah, we felt like, you know, you felt, you know, like this is our thing and it was in this neighborhood that wasn't built And they would they would stop they would stop working at like five or whatever and we would be out of school So we would like you just had this half-built neighborhood to your fucking self You ever hang out good night. You ever hang out in the foundation of an unfinished house Yeah, what am I an asshole so trash dude the one time we threw uh putting planks to get down there Yeah, we threw a summer would fall a bucket of caulk on the wall and then just started like caulking stuff to the wall

Ah, we were fucking assholes There was a time where we thought like we cost the fucking The toll brothers corporation believe millions that we would steal the back goes and stuff They would leave the keys in them. It was wide open. I mean, we we just like it would just like jerk or we didn't know what we were doing You know what I mean? Um, yeah, it was not steal the pvc build like fucking three foot bongs and shit We did that we stole the caulk to fucking caulk it together the fitted dude We did I mean it was like

That was my childhood was just fucking around houses my one buddy an unfinished house is just teenage home depot Dude great my one buddy the smell of the wood being in there. It's fucking awesome my one buddy fucking Everybody would see you'd sneak out at night and like go smoke We did like go to the neighborhood and like fuck around whatever and I wasn't with him, but he was Walking in a house on the second floor Oh, that's where you get the trouble and fell Through like like he just whatever is dark out and he fell through the first floor But the first floor wasn't finished and he went down into the foundation

Broke his broke his pelvis. E and now there's no stairs To for him to get out of the to get out of the basement Ouch So I don't I don't know what the fuck steven king They had a they had to leave him there and then go like track down the cop But now you're in like the middle of a suburban town. There's like probably one cop on at this time And they had to let they were like, what were you doing? He was like, uh sleepwalking. Yes Yeah, it was like, you know the sleeping pills made me smoke weed and climb in this fucking construction site

Um All right, let's do one from uh, let's do one from facebook. This is from adam snipes. Have you ever been bitten by fire ants? Because this goes back to you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong Yeah Those things that those things move quick and swiftly Yeah, I had one my boy my boy pack got I don't know if they were fire ants, but they were not normal Hey ants that are gonna eat these crackers. You know, I guess because I like an ant. I like a regular ant Yeah, I'm cool with them ant hoodie lover ant hoodie, but if I see one ant, I don't kill it

I don't kill ants. No. Yeah, never, but I mean if they got that if they got that salt dust house cooking I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna I'm gonna end a generation if I have to remember when you were a kid just looking at those things you'd be like god Just wipe them out It was like dude, you don't even have fucking like a fucking there's like a flood It's like there's no studs in here. This thing just fucking a strong window blow this way. Yeah Do you ever have an ant farm? I never got that Somebody mentioned sea monkeys the other day. We I think we've talked about get the fuck out of here with those. Are they alive?

Yeah, I don't know what they are. They were you the trashiest of all I remember one kid had them for a while. You could like they look a little shrimp like you could see them I I don't know what they are They're sea monkeys They're little fucking bugs No, I don't fuck with those. Yeah, they come in like a packet like fucking Like it comes like seasoning for ramen noodles. Yeah, I'm looking at it And you pour it in a you pour it in water and they start living

Yeah, they were like ubiquitous in the 60s and shit like that like every get out Yeah, prevalent. He'd launched he launched it earlier. So he's throwing out big words to get us back I'm trying to sound smart. Yeah Uh, yeah, no, I didn't fuck with though that ant farms. What about a worm farm? Everybody had a worm farm? Yeah So it looks like it looks like a just like a case Like what is this? You can't even see them. They're just there There's no windows. There's no glass. I'm not being a lonely kid

They need some bugs crawling around that you can't even see or talk to Look in the worms. Yeah, check on my worms. Yeah. Um, all right, let's wrap it up gang We fucking love you guys to death. Thank you so much one, baby. Great episode great family episode. We love you guys Uh, come out and see a live show kippy. What do you got for them? Uh, just at kevron comedy on all social media Uh, we appreciate all the fucking support, you know, we still got some fuck, uh, some merch left So to get the cards get the koozies the whole nine yards do it. We love you gang and we'll see you next week Bye